Menagerie - A collection of Short Stories and Drabbles in the world of White Collar. (I don't own anything but I do like playing with the characters when I can.)

Drabbles #36 - Prison Pen pals

(humor, minor angst, pre-series, minor spoiler from Shoot the Moon)

oOoOoOo

Mugshot Monthly: August 2009 - Volume 5, Issue 25.

Inmate #24601 - Neal Caffrey

Age: 30

Height: 5'11

(picture of inmate)

Neal cringed at the listing, rolling his eyes slightly. A fellow inmate, one of the few he had made friends with had insisted they do this together. Plus Bobby the guard said it might make his stay that much less lonely if he communicated with other people outside of prison. The guard was more than aware of his infatuation with Kate and now that she had started visiting less frequently, loneliness had started to set in. It wouldn't hurt to talk to someone else even if it was some poor deluded woman who sent him a letter. He'd seen a few of the visitors and knew that's what they were: pen pals. Bobby had pointed a couple out to him and he'd been shocked to find that's who the woman was. He was intrigued by the idea but not keen on it as he read the posting and sighed, tossing the magazine aside and pulling out another with pictures of island escapes. It didn't help him feel better but it wasn't as depressing or embarrassing as being listed in that other magazine.

()()()

A month went by and he had forgotten about the magazine and the pen pal scheme when mail call came around. He expected a letter from Kate although she had been rather distant lately. Neal had about a year left of his sentence and he was worried something was wrong although she insisted everything was ok on their last visit. Maybe he was being paranoid as he heard footsteps near and saw Bobby smiling at him.

"You've got mail..."

There was a certain gleam in the guard's eyes, his head turning to someone, another guard with a large mail sack. Neal didn't think anything of it until they opened up his cell and handed it to him. Bobby was smirking now as he turned to leave and Neal stopped him with a cough.

"Aren't the other inmates going to be upset you gave me their mail?"

He figured it was a joke but the guard shook his head with that same smirking smile as if something were funny.

"That's all for you. Apparently your posting was the most popular one."

Bobby was full on grinning now, teeth showing and the other guard chuckling as he passed by with another bag. It took Neal a moment to process exactly what the man meant then he blinked back and Oh'd.

"Mugshot Monthly?"

Neal was looking at the rather large duffel bag of letters and sighed. Kate wouldn't be happy to know he was this popular with other women and he wasn't comfortable with it either at the moment. He must have been blushing because Bobby laughed a bit as the door shut.

"I'd let them down easy, Neal. Friends are a luxury and pen pals more so. It will keep you busy if nothing else."

He was left alone now, the guard's footsteps leaving him with the huge bag of mail he slowly moved to sift through. There had to be hundreds of letters here as he pulled one out and saw it was from Kate. Lucky him. He read it and smiled, glancing at the other mail and finally letting curiosity get the better of him as he opened one up with a plastic knife from the cafeteria he used as a letter opener. It was from a 45 year old woman in Montana who thought he was adorable. He sighed as he read the horribly overly friendly letter and tossed it aside. He was about to move on to the next one when it occurred to him it did no harm to read the rest. Maybe it was vanity but he managed to get through the bag of letters in about four days, writing some of the women back but feeling like he had just written the great American novel. With some help from Bobby he managed to write out a nice form letter and use that with fill in the blanks he copied on the office xerox machine and sent to as many of the women as he could. It was the least he could do.

He was surprised years later that anyone knew he'd been a part of the program, Jones teasing him as well as Sara and Diana. Kate had never known the truth about it but he hadn't taken up with any of the women though some had tried to meet with him. He was just glad copies of his posting were no longer around. It was as part of his past he would rather not talk about.

(The End)

Author's Note: Just a bit of fluff from that comment in "shoot the moon" about that weird magazine and the comments between Neal, Sara, Jones and Diana about it.