Exalted
Chapter 35, Beyond the Beaten Path
Do you all really want to see Revolver Jesus that bad? I mean... too many of you are requesting it for me to just ignore at this point, as that would be hella rude, dood. If you want, Hypnos can be a mellowed out Takaya clone. I was going to go with an inverted color scheme Minato clone, like a dark tan, red headed, golden eyed, super sleepy and potentially narcoleptic version, but a Takaya look-a-like works as well.
You know that one video of the guy going 'This ain't water big pimpin', this GRAY GOOSE BAY BAYYY.' while driving down the road as an Uber driver or something?
Yeah, that's Odin, basically. One wild ass old man that should have quit about two thousand years ago but still parties harder than anyone else on earth. I mean, he rules Valhalla, what do you expect?
Big D ain't thecrimsonfucker, I like to think of him as... theazurefucker instead. You certainly aren't wrong in a lot of the similarities.
These past few chapters have been focusing a bit on Kuroka, while the next few will focus on others.
I do not own anything relating to either series. Seriously. What a shocker.
[EX]
"You are right, Odin, this is not bad at all." Minato noted, taking a small draft from the horn presented to him by the Chief God of the Aesir, "'Sacred Mead', you say?"
"Oh, hell yeah! The Vanir know what they are doing when it comes to making some tasty shit." Odin crowed as he held up his own horn before taking a long drink, nearly draining it in one go.
The two had been sitting there trading stories of the old days. Well, Odin was regaling him of tales that made him seriously hate his past self, if only for the reputation he left behind for Minato to inherit, it seems. Minato couldn't help but listen in shame as Odin listed off the plethora of tales of 'THE Big D'.
Minato did not want to repeat the many atrocities, for that is all they could be called, committed with gusto by his former self. Apparently Thor, to this day, would not show himself at the same time Minato was present, simply due to the fact that Minato wielded a bigger... 'Hammer' than him. Mjolnir was apparently a tool for compensation and not combat. Who knew.
"So now that we have sat and... caught up, what is it you really came for?" Minato questioned idly, swirling the large amount of honey wine in the ornamental horn before setting it on the stand on his desk after taking another very small sip, "I doubt you came all the way from Valhalla to share a drink and catch up."
"Ah, we're getting serious already? You're a damn bummer, Thanatos, what happened to all that fire you used to have?" Odin seemed to sober up the slightest bit rather quickly, setting his own horn down before leaning back in his chair. His attendant, Rossweisse as she introduced herself, seemed rather flustered by the behavior of her Lord, though she did not vocalize her thoughts.
If Thanatos and Odin knew each other personally, apparently as old drinking buddies, then it was not her place to say anything to her Lord about his behavior. Rossweisse also didn't know how to address a being that was known to the Valkyries as the most cherished of all Deities outside of their own Pantheon. As far as a large portion of the older supernatural beings were concerned, Thanatos was always welcome in their homes, and beds.
He seemed completely reserved and even dignified now, much more so than any God or Goddess she had come across yet, outside of two or three. The mentioning of sealed memories certainly explained the change, though Rossweisse could tell there was more to him than he was letting on. His power, the creeping darkness within him, was not corrupted in the slightest. As a matter of fact, the darkness that ran so thickly through his coils and veins was not acting in the same way she would expect it to.
It seems that he has completely subjugated the element to his will, as if it were his own Domain. Rossweisse was unaware of Thanatos having any Domain outside of being the personification of Death, yet the darkness was his, without a doubt. There were other elements, other little hints that let her know there was more, much like Odins in a way.
Odin himself had multiple Domains, ranging from Magic to War, each having their own flavor and texture, if she had to describe them. She couldn't recognize those belonging to Thanatos, as if their natures were being hidden, shrouded by the blackness of his energy protectively. He was a walking void, only letting off a cooling effect around him, as she would expect.
Life was born from heat, activity and movement while Death was still, cold and entropic in nature. Odin had too many different aspects to his energy for it to have the same type of effect, even if Death was one of his own minor aspects.
The silver haired Valkyrie was brought from her thoughts as Thanatos began to speak once more, this time his voice gaining a bit of an edge to it. It seems he grew tired of being regaled of tales from his past, as if he was ashamed to hear of them.
"You will have to forgive me." Minato nodded his head to confirm Odins words, "I have quite a few things I need to complete before the end of the day, and this paperwork isn't going to finish itself."
"You do that shit?" Odin questioned, slapping his hand on his knee as if he were highly amused by the notion, "I just make this nerd here do it for me." The God admitted, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the sad looking Valkyrie.
"We cannot all have great help." Minato intoned while lacing his fingers together. If she was responsible for dealing with his paperwork, as well as acting as his maid, she must truly be a useful person to have around. As it turned out, Lucifer was not as good at paperwork as Minato was expecting. Instead, the Devil seemed to focus solely on cleaning and other duties carried out by a butler, but not a secretary.
Minato needed to fix the issue, and fast. He couldn't keep up with an entire cities worth of spam mail at this point, not by himself.
"Bah, whatever," Odin groused before grasping his horn and finishing off the mead within, "I know you've heard of that Terrorist Group calling themselves the Khaos Brigade, right?"
"Yes. Are you here seeking information?" Minato questioned curiously, thinking over the many secrets extracted from Rizevim forcefully by Lucifer, Ophis and himself. It was not much, no where near enough to satiate his need to know, that was certain. Through Rizevim, Minato was able to learn which factions were working on the side with the Khaos Brigade, even learning that there was a small faction of unfallen Angels within the large organization. How Angels could exist when not loyal to Heaven was something Minato did not understand.
The Hero faction was recovering from their second 'Genocide Gauntlet' as Minato called the forced battle many of the kidnapped, brainwashed and tortured humans were put through. It seems that Cao Cao was becoming even more active than Ophis knew of, even making allies with another unnamed group in a rather close relationship. There were five different leaders within the Khaos Brigade that were vying for control now that Ophis was no longer the leader, trying to steer the powerful Terrorist Organization in their own directions.
Rizevim was one, Cao Cao was another. Hades was independent from the organization, meaning that there were three unknowns that Rizevim was unable to identify due to his own close association with Cao Cao himself and no one else. Between the Hero faction and the Old Maou factions, they represented the strongest force, so the organization was in flux once more.
The Tepes faction, the male dominated Vampire faction that was currently at war with its female counterpart, the Camilla faction, also had ties to the 'Super' Devil, something Minato was quick to share with the Alliance as per his responsibility.
An Egyptian God was working with Hades and Rizevim for a project, though when pressed for information, Rizevim began to sweat most unnaturally while his body began to twitch.
Attaining any more knowledge from the Devil proved to be impossible. As Minato began to press for more information, a curse that had been hidden deep in the soul of the Devil activated itself and devoured the life force of Rizevim before corroding his soul to the point that Minato could not resummon his phantom.
All in all, Minato was furious at the lack of information gained through the prisoner, though he did not let the emotion cloud his judgment when Ophis and he departed from the dark realm. If anything, it seemed Ophis was more upset than he was, considering the fact that when she was not spending time with Lilith, himself or the tiny dragon that rode around on Asias head, she was drifting on her floating device in her room.
"...Maybe? I have been having quite a problem with a small group within the entire organization and I was hoping you would be willing to make a trade." Odin admitted while stroking his beard, the monocle on his eye flashing in the light as if to denote his thoughts, "You give me the info, and I give you Rossweisse the boyfriendless virgin! She is good at cooking, cleaning, dealing with political fallout and paperwork. Sound good, pimpin'?"
If Minato had been overall disturbed by the elderly Gods behavior, he was more so now. 'Did he really just call me that?'
As if Odin was reading his mind, the strange hat wearing God reaffirmed his statement. "You heard me right, I, Odin, am willing to get rid of one of my most problematic, lonely Valkyries if you can tell me just which sons-a-bitches keep KNOCKING ON MY DOOR AT THREE IN THE MORNING! THEY ARE NEVER THERE WHEN I ANSWER! WHO DING DONG DITCHES VALHALLA!?"
"Lord Odin, you must calm yourself! You know what the doctors said about your hern-" Rossweisse looked ashamed more so than embarrassed, and sent a small bow towards Minato as if it would make up for the bipolar, one eyed madman screaming about punks and pointy sticks killing his favorite Valkyrie maid, which was obviously NOT Rossweisse.
"Rossweisse, shut the HELL up!" Odin cut her off quickly, slapping his wrinkly hand over her mouth while giving her the stink eye, "This is why I can't hang with you! You talk about shit no body gives a flying rats ass about!"
Rossweisse looked like she was just a few steps away from a mental breakdown, tears continuing to pool in her baby blue eyes. Minato decided to throw both of them a bone, if it meant getting the old codger and his doe eyed 'whipping girl' from his office that much faster.
"The one with the pokey stick is known as Cao Cao, descendent of Cao Cao. He is a Chinese teenager and the wielder of the 'True' Longinus." Minato noted idly while standing from his desk to walk to his filing cabinet once more. After opening the drawer, Minato stuck his hand all the way to the back and broke the seal placed on the furthest reaches of the cabinet, causing a small manila envelope to appear in his hand.
"This is all the information I have on the Hero Faction, those that keep attacking your home, it seems." Minato informed the elder God while handing him the small folder. It barely contained any information at all, but perhaps it would be a fair trade. Odin got his info, Minato got his peace. Fair.
Odin opened the folder quickly, coming face to face with a picture of the very man that had been trying to assassinate him for the last three nights. "Oh, so that's who ya' really are, you son of a bitch?" Odin questioned madly, a wide smile crossing his face. "As per the agreement, Rossweisse is yours to keep." Odin tried to dismiss the girl, only for Minato to shake his head in the negative.
"No, I am alright. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and apparently we were close enough to share nicknames at some point, correct?" Minato questioned while waving his hands before him, not wanting to 'own' a Valkyrie by any stretch of the word, "I was hoping that you would be willing to enter the Alliance I have formed with the Christian factions."
"You want me to join up with those buncha' bats, crows and goodie goodies?" Odin laughed heavily at the offer, leaning forward and slapping his knees in amusement once more, "You think I've gone senile, don't you?"
"I do not think so?" Minato stated and questioned at the same time, unsure if Odin was truly going senile or not due to not remembering the God nor his 'Absolutely Wild Parties' as he called them, "What I mean to say is no, I do not think you are going senile." Minato amended at last, seeing that Odin was getting close to assuming that Minato just insulted him. Which he did.
"Whatever, so you ain't gonna take this lame ass off my hands?" Odin asked with pursed lips, his one eye closing into a slit as he stared at Minato as if he stole his favorite toy, "You really want me to join your little hippie group instead?"
"We aren't hippies, either. We are peace keepers." Minato nodded his head firmly while waving his hand in a circle as if it would help him further elaborate his statement, "Hades started this, and we plan on finishing it before he can finish us."
"And what does Hades have to do with me?" Odin questioned smugly, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back, "What or who does that boney little bitch have with him that makes you think I'll be interested?"
"How about the fact that Loki, one of your wayward 'Gods', is working with them?" Minato questioned while crossing his leg idly, leaning a bit on his elbow to stretch his back, "I assume I have your attention?"
Odin seemed a bit troubled, and for the first time since he came in, he was more than just a little sober.
"You do." Odin admitted with a frown, leaning forward a bit to listen better. Rossweisse seemed to stand straighter as well, her blue eyes sharpening noticeably.
"How about we sweeten the pot, so to speak," Minato began, leaning forward a bit to humor Odin, "You give me your word that you will meet with the Alliance at least once before saying no, and I will personally help you with your little Hero problem."
"Hmm... you drive a hard bargain, Thanatos. This could upset a lot of different Pantheons even more than you already have, you know. Leaving the Greeks so blatantly, even going so far as having consort with a foreign Deity..." Odin murmured lowly, his single eye closing as his head tilted downwards in thought, "You help me get revenge on the ass hole who killed Hervor and you have a deal, Thanatos."
The two shook hands, and then Minato told the two to get out of his tower. Odin was wise enough to leave quickly, though Rossweisse stayed behind for a few moments, her eyes not leaving Minato.
"You... wouldn't happen to be willing to reconsider, would you?" Rossweisse questioned lightly, not wanting to offend the being still sitting at his desk.
"Reconsider what?" Minato asked curiously, tilting his head a bit as he thought about what she could have meant.
"...Never mind." Rossweisse mumbled almost miserably before following after Odin slowly, a small rain cloud following after her as she went, raining down depression and other sad feelings upon her.
Minato was left alone once more, this time feeling the slightest bit guilty for a reason he couldn't comprehend. 'Did I say something wrong?'
[EX]
"Again, girls." Minato called out, watching as Asia, Bennia and Xenovia nodded their heads before falling into their stances once more.
Each held out their right hands in unison, and before them came a massive magic circle each, bearing a skull with the symbol of infinity in its mouth. The ultraviolet colored magic circles crackled with energy before a torrent of black and purple lightning erupted, firing off in a beam before the three.
The three large beams collided with the mounds of earth that rose from the ground to block them, easily punching through the first. The process repeated four times until the beams of chaotic energy fizzled out, leaving the three girls panting from the exertion.
"Very good job, Asia, Bennia, Xenovia." Minato addressed them individually instead of as a group, eying each of them as he did so.
Like Xenovia, Asia and Bennia now wore a skin tight black leotard of sorts during their training, providing them with more protection than normally offered by mundane clothing. While not strong enough to stop something like the 'Power of Destruction' in any large amounts, it was enough to deflect a large portion of damage away from the wearer before failing.
Minato could not help but admire the forms of the three before stopping himself. 'Get your head straight, Minato.'
"It seems you are able to use that spell easily." Minato noted, examining the damage caused by the training session for the day. Most of the area around them was as dead as dirt, and the soil was upturned, scorched, flooded and frozen in some spots. "I am not surprised, considering each of your energies has become much like my own."
"I still don't understand how it works..." Bennia admitted with a frown, crossing her arms over her chest as she ground her toes into the earth, "Is it darkness, or is it lightning?"
"Both, Bennia." Minato sighed as he tried to explain the technique to the girl one more time. Despite being able to cast it, it seems she still didn't grasp the concept behind its inception. "During my time training the Gremory Peerage the first time, Akeno attempted to teach me to wield 'holy' lightning, something I couldn't use for reasons beyond me at the time."
"Okay... so its... 'unholy' lightning then?" Bennia questioned, tilting her head to the side, "Or what?"
"It's... my type of 'holy' instead of the Christian type of 'holy'." Minato oversimplified, causing the girl to give him the 'Ohhhh' expression before nodding her head rapidly.
"That makes so much more sense than whatever else it was you tried to tell me." Bennia gave Minato a sheepish look in return for the flat one he gave her, "I'm not as smart as Xenovia or Asia, but I was one of the best when it came to spells that can kill things."
Minato nodded his head sagely, not wanting to offend the girl by telling her it wasn't all that complicated at all. Asia and Xenovia seemed to be of the same mind as Minato, giving the purple haired Grim Reaper an almost pitying look.
'We can't all be smart, I suppose.' Minato thought with some amount of fondness, 'But that is Bennia for you.'
"So we can apply it to ice, fire and lightning? Can we make a 'holy' water technique as well?" Asia questioned curiously, almost as if she had an idea in mind.
"Actually, yes." Minato admitted before cupping his hands before him. A magic circle bearing his sigil appeared above his hands and began to deposit a stream of what appeared to be liquid silver from its depths.
It was see through, from what the three could discern, but it held a silver, ethereal sheen inside of it as well. The water sparkled in the light coming from above, casting strange shapes and images upon the area around them.
"It does not hold any special properties besides a light healing effect, it seems. The more energy I pour into it, however," Minato stopped his speech for a second to demonstrate, pushing his shadowed energy into the water with force, "It does something strange."
The silver water began to glow heavily, floating from his hands in droplets before hovering in the air before him. Each drop of water began to solidify before becoming solid, splintery crystals that spread out from the center. Each crystal then shattered, raining down the dust from above.
The landscape around them began to heal, returning life back to the grass and the trees destroyed by the deathly techniques wielded by the four. Soon, the only sign of damage to the landscape was the mounds of earth with vitrified and disintegrated holes straight through their centers, covered in grass and glass.
"Wow, so you can bring life back to barren landscapes too?" Bennia questioned excitedly, clapping her hands rapidly, "That is so useful! Can you use them on seeds?"
"I am unsure, but we can find out. Why?" Minato questioned with a tilt to his head, "Did you want to start a garden?"
"Can we please? Pretty please? Please please please!" Bennia began to beg, her usually droopy, sleepy eyes becoming wide in excitement, "I've always wanted my own garden! Nothing grows in the area around Hades, unlike your forest..."
"Sure, Bennia. How about the four of us go pick out some seeds after this?" Minato questioned before summoning the small magic circle that summoned his healing waters, allowing the three to study it intently. "It is almost like the ice spell, but some of the runes are reversed or even replaced..."
The four continued to train for quite a while that day, though Asia was the only one capable of summoning the water spell by the end of the session. It seemed Xenovia and Bennia, despite having high magical reserves, did not have the same potential for healing as Asia did.
That said, Asia was easily the weaker of the three in terms of physical strength or magical attacks, unless she whipped out her giant cannon rifle, of course. That tended to even the odds rather quickly, leaving the three to be an extremely well balanced team of heavy hitters.
It was only when Minato heard the rumors of 'Baptisms' occurring in the forest did he understand why Asia wanted to learn the technique.
Oh well, it wasn't like it was going to grant any of them some sort of magical powers or anything, just heal any wounds and perhaps give them a small sense of religious ecstasy at most.
[EX]
"You are getting much better at this, Lover~!" Kuroka purred in his ear as he breathed in deeply for a few moments before releasing it evenly. Minato ignored the rumbling in her chest as it pressed into his back, instead focusing on expelling that massive swell of negative emotions trying their best to cloud his mind.
Senjutsu was a difficult art to learn, if only because Kuroka enjoyed teasing him too much. It took a few attempts before he could even feel the energy of nature, to feel the pure taint that touched almost the core of the planet in its depths.
It was still nothing compared to Erebus, to the overwhelming darkness of the Nyx he faced down in the other world. Minato allowed the energy into his body while allowing that taint to break itself against the barriers in his mind, that bulwark that prevented him from being influenced by outside forces any further.
The intake of energy was not enough to make a noticeable change in his presence, but Minato could tell that something was different whenever he drew the power of the earth into his own.
The only way he could test any of his theories was through practicing using magic while under the influence of Senjutsu, which would take at least another week before he was proficient enough to do so.
Letting the gathered energy inside of his body disperse once more, Minato sighed and leaned back into the body of Kuroka, letting her know that he was no longer practicing the techniques she taught him. She laid her face in the crook of his neck before nibbling on his flesh a bit, not enough to draw blood or even puncture him, but enough to get his attention.
"Don't do that." Minato had to force the shiver from his voice as he spoke, "That doesn't help anything."
"Oh, you know you love me, Nyaa~!" Kuroka teased as she traced her rough tongue along the spot she bit, a small bit of saliva trailing from the pink muscle. "It may take me years, but I will have those kittens."
"We will see." Minato murmured to himself as she went back to tracing her hand along his stomach and chest from behind. She moved one of her hands to his face before grasping his jaw and forcing him to turn to face her, only for her lips to capture his once more.
Minato was conflicted for all of a second before he turned his torso a bit to get a better position. As the two motioned to deepen the kiss, a small, blue magic circle appeared beside the head of Minato before the obnoxious voice of Odin ruined the moment being shared between the two.
"Hey, YOU! GUESS WHO IS KNOCKING ON MY DOOR RIGHT NOW?!"
Minato sighed heavily before rising from the position, Kuroka coming with him as he went. "Who was that, Nyaa?"
"Odin. I made a deal to help deal with a problem if he attends a meeting with the Alliance. Seems like the Hero faction is causing problems for the Northern Gods." Minato informed her while putting on his shirt, waistcoat and overcoat before replacing his gloves once more.
"Ohh, Ohh, can I help? Please~?" Kuroka begged as a magic circle appeared above her, causing her black robes and large belt with multiple bells to appear around her body once more. "I need to stretch my legs, I feel like its been forever since I've cut loose!"
Minato thought about it, then thought about it some more before he eventually relented. Nyx had agreed to keep Ophis and Lilith home while Asia, Bennia and Xenovia were asked to stand guard once more while he was away. Lucifer and Euclid were helping stand guard as well, leaving the three towers the most protected buildings on the surface. Usually he would just leave Kuroka to do whatever it was she wished to, and this time, it seemed like she wanted to come with him. Considering that Asgard was far enough away to not alert Koneko to her presence, Minato couldn't find a good reason to say no.
As a matter of fact, he was looking forward to it, now that she had offered to come.
"Sure, Kuroka. Let's go surprise Cao Cao together." Minato allowed, knowing that she was extremely skilled in combat, physical and magical, "This should be fun."
"I think our first date couldn't be anything better, Mina-Kun~!" Kuroka agreed as she nipped at his ear lobe gently after leaning over his shoulder once more, "Let's hurry this along though... I want to get back to what we were doing."
A light blue magic circle appeared before the two before it opened up as if it were a doorway. Rossweisse stood on the other side of the circle, beconning Minato and Kuroka to follow her to the sound of battle that now filled the room.
Minato was glad for the distraction, because he didn't want to tell Kuroka that he wouldn't have minded it either. He needed to get his head together and stop letting her get the best of him, as Minato felt a bit bad to give in to such things. He was uncertain of many things, and it involved the women that surrounded him at almost all points in his life now.
Despite the fact that Kuroka seemed okay with the concept of a harem and sharing her bed with him, Minato had still not grown comfortable with the concept, nor the fact that it seemed almost expected of powerful beings at this point in time.
There was one thing Minato did know, however, and it was that Kuroka the black cat was going to be the death of him if she kept on biting him like she had.