I refuse to put a disclaimer here cause everyone should be bright enough to know that I don't own Naruto. I'm pretty sure that's why this is called FANfiction.

├Part Thirty-Seven┤

"My life is so messed up," I muttered, my face still pressed into his shirt, "So freaking messed up."

He said nothing for the longest time, just allowing me to stay there with him. It was nice, not having to talk anymore, sitting there quietly together. I didn't feel so alone anymore.

"So," Sasuke said, finally speaking, "What's the deal with you not getting close to anyone?" he asked.

I was silent for a moment, making sure my answer would make sense, "Because…Konoha will probably expect me to do what my family has done for a long time. I don't want people to feel the same pain I felt when I lost my family, one by one," I said softly, not looking him in the eye.

"But then, if you would have died like that, no one would remember you," he stated. Didn't know he could think of things like that…

"Isn't it always better like that? I mean, as long as people stay happy," I said quietly, "Then everything is fine."

"Not for you," he said, tone emotionless, "You wouldn't be happy. Just ask Naruto…"

At the mention of Naruto's name, Sasuke had gone silent. I looked up at him curiously. He was staring off at the side and I couldn't read his face. So he was an expert at being emotionless, so what?

"You miss Naruto?" I asked, trying not to smirk, especially under these circumstances. First off, he could kill me. Second, he might just leave. Third…ok so there might not be a third…

He didn't respond.

I sat back to look more clearly into his face, "You do, don't you?" I asked, "You miss everyone. Then why did you leave?"

There was silence for a long time, "You haven't seen me in a while," he then stated quite obviously, "So why do you ask me these questions?"

"Cause I want to know," I said, shrugging slightly, "I'll admit, I miss them a lot too. What I'd give to see Naruto's silly grin or even Sakura's rolling of her eyes."

Finally his gaze turned to me, "Then why did you leave if you knew you'd miss them so much?" he asked and then his eyebrows rose slightly, "You got close to them no matter what you tried."

I cringed slightly at this, but nodded, "Yes, unfortunately. Of course it's hard with Naruto. He just the sort of person who can make anyone smile. Although, I'm always pretty annoyed with Sakura, she didn't really care for being a ninja," I said staring off to side.

"But then why did you leave?" he asked, persistent as always.

I looked back at him, "Why do YOU think?" I asked, "Because I couldn't just leave you alone."

He didn't respond to this but instead leaned backwards, shoulders relaxing somewhat.

Not really liking the silence, I asked him something else, "So why did you leave Konoha?" I asked. I was really interested in what he had to say!!

He turned his head back towards me, "To gain strength and power," he said.

I tilted my head to the side, "Because of your brother?" I asked with one eyebrow raised.

He nodded, his eyes narrowing in the tiniest glare I'd have ever seen. Of course, I was looking for any signs of expression on his stoic face.

"Sooo," I said, not allowing this topic to drop, "You ran away from Konoha, joined some evil gay guy, you're slowly getting stronger, upset tons of people, all just to get power and strength to kill your brother and get revenge on your brother?"

He turned to face me, an eyebrow raised, "Evil gay guy?" he asked, a smirk showing clearly on his face.

"Yes," I said stubbornly and he gave me a look, "What?! He sounds like he's gay, he touches people like he's gay, he walks like he's gay, he looks like he's gay, so all in all, I think he's gay!! Sure he's got tons of power and all, I respect that about him, but otherwise I just roll my eyes and get on with my life," I said.

"And you are talking about…?" Sasuke asked, the smirk showing that he thought this was pretty funny to him.

I gave him a 'You've-got-to-be-kidding-me' look, "Orochimaru!" I exclaimed, "He's a flippin' gay! And since he's gay, and you're a guy, I've had…thoughts about you too."

"Thoughts about me?" he asked, "That I'm gay?"

I nodded sheepishly, my face getting warmer, "Yes," I said and shook my head, "But how did we get on this topic anyways?" I asked.

He shrugged slightly, "You tell me," he said.

"So anyways," I said, remembering what we were talking about before, "You are basically doing what your brother wanted you to do."

"How so?" he asked, his face going back to his unchanging mask.

I sighed, "Because, he wants to torture you. He says you need hate in order to kill him, to get stronger. Everybody's got hate, it just depends on how much you have of it. The same goes for love, everyone's got it, just depends on how much," at this point I had a finger in the air, "So this means, your brother Itachi has some love inside him too. It's just probably very small. My best guess would be that it's very small."

"MY brother has love inside of him?" Sasuke asked incredulously, his mask broken yet again as he looked at me as though I was insane.

I nodded, "Yes. Have you ever wondered why he has kept you alive? You're his little brother," I said the last part softly.

"Then why does he torture me so much?" he asked, looking frustrated. I guess this was a sensitive subject for the Uchiha.

I thought about it for a moment, "He's not REALLY torturing you. Everyone has a choice," I said quietly, "It was your choice to want revenge on your brother. Your choice to live like you do, allowing hate to fill you. Your choice to run away, with this guilty feeling for leaving everyone. Sure he egged it on, but you could have been happy instead. You could have gone out with Sakura, or Ino, and befriended a whole lot of people, to try and forget about him."

"Oh yes, forget about the guy who murdered my entire clan, that would go down well," he scoffed.

I thought about it, "Ok, you might be considered a bit heartless…not like you aren't considered that now…" I said, rolling my eyes.

"…I'm considered heartless?" he asked.

I nearly laughed, "You leave Konoha, abandon all your friends, in order for you to be powerful enough to kill your brother and you're asking if you are considered heartless?" I ask incredulously, "Think logically, reasonably. Most people don't think that way, that's their faults."

His black eyes narrowed at me, "Well…it's just that…I can talk to you easier than most people. But that's partially because you were so open to me only. And our history is similar," he admitted.

"Similar," I said, "But not the same. And why the hell don't you quit acting Mr. Macho and let people read your freaking facial expressions?!" I asked him. I was so annoyed that he kept trying to put on that damn emotionless mask again.

"Because part of being a good Shinobi means you don't let the enemy know your emotions," he said, making it sound as if it were obvious, "You should know that. We went to the same school after all."

I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time that evening, "Well, duh, I know that. You just take it to the extremes to hide your emotions around your friends," I looked at him oddly, "Oh God, please tell me you at least have friends!!" I exclaimed sarcastically.

He just glared at me.

I gasped, "Oh my gosh, you showed an emotion! Bad Sasuke! Bad!" I said dramatically before returning to normal, "So Sasu…"

"Sasu?" he asked, frowning at my taunting nickname, "What kind of name is that?"

I grinned, "Yours," I said, "I was planning on using it to annoy the hell out of you back in Konoha. But then, you know, you left. And then I didn't see you in forever…oh yeah, I meant to ask you, where were you all this time?"

"Training," Sasuke said simply, "To get stronger, obviously."

I nodded staring off at the side, "So without visiting lonesome little me?" I asked, turning back to him.

"Lonesome little you?" he asked, seeming slightly amused, "How are you little?"

Glaring slightly at him, I said, "Yes, lonesome LITTLE me. I happen to be at least a head shorter than you. Do you know how frustrating it was to see no one else besides the gay man and his disturbing henchman? I swear I was going absolutely insane!!" I growled at the last part.

Then he did something I didn't expect. Staring at the left of him, he muttered, "So you were going insane?" he asked quietly, "That's what happens when I'm gone for a while?"

"For a while?" I asked, "You were gone for I don't know how long but it wasn't a 'while', it seemed like whole freaking years!"

He turned to face me, flinching slightly, "It was years," he said, "About three, I suppose."

If I were the one to faint from news like this, trust me, I would.

"Peachy," I muttered, putting my right hand up to my forehead, "Just peachy."

He sighed, leaning back against a tree and closed his eyes, "You know what? I haven't been able to smile in a long time. Never felt a reason to. And now, after these past three years, I haven't been able to portray any emotion. Orochimaru advised me against it, against seeing you, against a lot of things. He said it would ruin my concentration. Get me side tracked and I wouldn't get as 

strong as I could," he said and then opened his dark eyes to look back at me, a small smile forming on his face, "But you know what? We've been arguing this whole time and explaining our lives and stuff."

I gave him a confused look, "What the hell are you talking about now?" I asked, completely lost.

He shrugged, the smile getting wider as he started to laugh slightly, "I don't know, I'm tired," he said while getting up, "I suggest we get back before they realize we're gone."

Man, there are some things that people honestly don't know about this Uchiha boy.

"Yeah," I said, agreeing for once, and got up a bit reluctantly.

"But one more question," he said and turned his head to look at me, "Have you attempted suicide before?"

My eyebrows shot up, taken aback by this, "Actually…yes, many times. But every single time I was stopped before anything happened," I said, looking at my feet nervously before looking at him expecting some sort of response.

He nodded, "It's alright," he said and turned away from me, "I hope everything becomes easier for you so you don't have to resort to anything like that."

There are just some things no one would dare think of this Uchiha boy to say.

"You too," I said, smiling sadly at him. The smile still felt a bit odd.

"But one more thing," he said and turned around. In a flash he had me against the tree. For one brief second, his cold lips were against mine. Then he smirked, "Still think I'm gay?" he asked.

And then there are just some things you wouldn't expect from this Uchiha boy.

From Sasuke Uchiha, he can be unpredictable too, just like Naruto.

Read and Review, please! Anything extremely negative will be ignored, any real good advice will be appreciated and considered seriously

-Jen-