A/N: This one's a little different. It's been ten years and a lot has happened so pieces will start falling into place. And there's a little surprise... And hey, if you're reading, let me know! I like hearing from y'all, even if it's to yell at me about that surprise...

It's the little things that do it.

Most of the time, Karma's OK. She says that she doesn't think about it (she does) (a little) (not nearly as often as Reagan, she's sure) and that when she does, it's just for a quick moment, a blip, a second or two on the radar and then it's just… gone. She pushes it off and she moves on with her day and her life and it doesn't hurt and it doesn't haunt.

Not till the next time at least.

Of course, most of that is a lie, though not a big one. She doesn't think of it that often, not every day (maybe just every other) and when she does, she doesn't think of it for that long (maybe just a moment or two or three or however many it takes for the hollow in her stomach to fill or for the tears to pass.) And most of the time she can push it off and she has gone on with her days and her life. She really has.

And so what if that sometimes makes it hurt worse? That's normal. That's what her shrink says and what her mother says and even if Shane doesn't say it, she knows - just from the look in his eyes - that he feels it too.

Of course, there are times when she can't help but think of it, times when there's no need to pretend she doesn't or that it doesn't bother her. The anniversary, for one. There's been four of them now, starting with the one where they planted the tree and buried the bronze plaque with his name (with both their names, his and Martin's) in the ground and Amy said a few words cause she and Reagan and Shane just… couldn't (and Lauren wouldn't) and she and Reagan stood there, together, long after everyone else had gone and just… held each other.

There's his birthday too, when she and Shane sit in the grass outside the Hester art room and share a slice or two of cake (German chocolate, his favorite) (without a candle) and remember… well… they try to remember the good but even the bad… and let's face it, there was plenty of that… it somehow seems less.

Two years ago, Amy joined them and again last year and Lauren… she walked by (quickly) but she paused long enough to kiss Karma on top of the head and if that was as close as she could ever come to being sad about it…

Karma will take it.

And there's Father's Day and Emma's birthday, just three days apart so at least that little bit of torture is done quick and easy.

Quick, at least.

Those are the times Karma can't help it, but sometimes… sometimes it isn't something she sees coming. It's not an anniversary or a date she has marked on her calendar or a moment she's been anticipating for weeks. Sometimes it sneaks up on her and surprises her and those… they're the moments when it hits the hardest and it hurts the worst.

Those are the moments - the moments just like this, kneeling on the back of the small stage at Planter's, about to plug in an amp when she sees the cord in her hand and she sees the outlet but she can feel the heat and smell the smoke - when it sinks in, like a knife buried to the hilt and she can't skirt around it and she can't ignore it and another slice of cake or another cuddly bear added to the pile on her guest bed just won't cut it.

Those - these - are the moments when she truly remembers that Liam is dead and his daughter is gone and a part of her world left with them both.

Eight Years Ago

"You had to tell me? You had to tell ME?"

Sometimes (a lot of times) (all the fucking times) Karma wonders what the hell she ever saw in Liam fucking Booker.

"I'm sorry," he says, the words tripping off his tongue with ease, like this isn't the thousand and first time he's said that to her, like the words haven't lost all fucking meaning by now.

She thinks he knows that, but he's Liam. He doesn't know what else to say.

(And, apparently, nothing at all, is not an option.)

"I don't want you to be sorry," she yells, but then she remembers her parents are right downstairs and the last time she and Liam had a… moment… and she yelled, her father charged up the stairs and ended up having one of his… episodes… and Karma really doesn't feel like spending seven hours in the ER tonight. "I don't want you to be sorry," she says again, quieter this time. "I want you to be gone. Out of here. Away. Somewhere that isn't here and why aren't you fucking moving?"

"You said you'd help," he says and he's right (even a blind fucking squirrel…) and not for the first or last time, Karma regrets ever agreeing to helping him with his counseling.

He's trying, she told Amy. He's making an effort, she said to her mother. He needs me, she said to herself (and that was the fucking clincher and - even if she fucking hated it - Karma knew she couldn't resist it.)

But now… this? Fuck… rage and abandonment and trust issues, her fucking ass. He's not a psych case, he's a fucking douche canoe.

But, in so many ways, he's her douche canoe and it was her and her lies and her choices (good and bad) (mostly bad) that helped him (and her) (and all of them) here and here isn't as bad a place as it once was and he is trying.

Or… he was.

"What the fuck," Karma spits, "makes you think this has anything to do with me helping? What makes you think I need or want or fucking should have to know that you let your fucking dick think for you - again - and got some random girl from some random party pregnant?"

Liam doesn't say anything which, Karma (in all fairness) has to note is some sort of improvement. He's not defending himself or trying to argue or giving some lame bullshit about her (the random one from the random party) (not her) being anything but some nameless skank…

Wait…

Karma pushes right up into his face, backing him against the wall. "She is some random girl, right? I don't know her, do I?" He says nothing and Karma's stomach drops. She knows it's not Amy (not again) and Reagan and Lauren are right out of the fucking question and that leaves…

Oh.

Oh fuck no.

"Tell me it isn't," she says. "Tell me it isn't Lucy. Tell me you didn't… Amy's sister… my… tell me it's not fucking Lucy."

Liam shakes his head. Vigorously. "No," he says. "Not Lucy. Not her or Amy or Farrah or any Raudenfeld woman." Karma backs up, slightly, and Liam manages a breath. "You were right," he says. "She was just a random girl at a random party and… and… I'm sorry."

"Nothing for you to be sorry for," Karma says. "Not to me. Her, maybe…"

Liam visibly deflates and Karma knows him well enough to know that maybe (OK, not maybe) she said the wrong thing.

"You're right," he says again. "We shouldn't talk about this. This is too.." He turns, his hand on the doorknob. "I'll go."

"What is it?" Karma says and he freezes. "There's something else isn't there? Something besides some rando carrying around another Booker spawn." Liam shakes his head (again) (and maybe he really is trying) and starts to turn the knob but pauses when Karma's hand covers his. "I'm only asking once," she says. "What?"

He looks down at her hand on his and yeah, they've both said they're long over that but still…

Karma pulls her hand away and Liam lets his drop to his side. "She wants to give it up," he says quietly. He's not looking at her and, come to think of it, he hasn't looked at her, not even once since he got here. "She wanted to have it… taken care of," he says. "That's the only reason she even told me. She knew who I was and figured I could afford to pay."

Karma's got no idea who she is, but she hates her already.

"Your family wouldn't cough up the cash?"

"I didn't ask," Liam says and Karma can hear it in his voice, the mild (or a bit more than mild) offense that she would even think that he might. "I talked her out of that, but I can't get her to budge on the giving her up idea."

There's a lot to process there, but Karma only hears one word. "Her?"

Liam nods and there's the faintest of smiles on his face, maybe the most genuine one Karma's seen from him in years. "Yeah, it's a girl," he says. "Fitting, right? My punishment. I get to be a dad to a girl born into a world filled with guys like me."

There is, Karma has to admit, a certain poetic justice.

"And you don't want her to give… her… up?" Karma tries to keep the surprise out of her voice, but really… she just can't.

"No," Liam says, ignoring the shock, he actually expected it. "She's mine, Karma. She's my daughter and I think that even if I'm the shittiest father of all time… at least…"

At least she'd know. She'd know him and she'd know he was hers and that, at least for one moment, he loved her enough not to deny her.

Yeah, Liam's just full of fucking surprises.

"I know I said I'd help," Karma says, though she thinks this goes a bit past help. "But why are you telling me this? Why me and why not Shane or your counselor or your… family?"

He laughs, a short little bitter thing that doesn't match the smile at all. "My… family… said if I keep her, if I try to raise her… they'll cut me off." Karma starts to say something, but Liam holds up a hand. "And I don't care. It isn't about the money or the power or any of that Booker bullshit. It's about her. If I do this, if I try… I'll be trying to raise a little girl by myself with no money, no talent save for shitty pointless art, no family and, basically, one friend."

Karma can picture Shane and Liam trying to change a diaper or build a crib and she barely manages not to laugh.

(It would kinda ruin the moment.) (And they don't have a lot of those anymore.)

"I'm telling you," he says, "because you're the one person who still speaks to me who won't shred me for even thinking about it or blow sunshine up my ass." He does look at her then and Karma almost has to look away. "Tell me the truth, Karma. Is this just about me? Am I being selfish? Would I just be doing more harm than good?"

Karma thinks of Bruce. She thinks of how he stepped up, of how good a father he was (is) to Amy, of how dedicated and loving he is, and how much he treats her as if she was his.

As if.

That's the thing, isn't it? Karma knows Amy loves Bruce and she knows Amy thinks of him as he thinks of her. But she knows.

Bruce isn't Jack. Even after everything, even after the pain and the loss and all the damage that Amy's still trying to sort through and navigate… Jack is still… Jack.

He's still her father.

And somehow… that still counts for something. Maybe more than it should, but she can't even begin to imagine cause she's always had Lucas and she's never known what Amy…

What Amy and Liam know.

In the end, it really comes down to one simple question. "Do you love her?" Karma asks. "The baby, I mean. If giving her up was best for her, even if it kills you and even if it ruins your whole ridiculous integrity shtick… do you love her enough to do it?"

Liam tugs a piece of paper from his pocket and smooths it out on Karma's desk. Waiver of Parental Rights is stamped across the top. His signature is scrawled across the bottom.

"I've been carrying this for four days," he says, blinking away tears. "And if it's what's best…"

There are moments - not very many - but they are there, when Karma sees flickers of the boy she thought Liam was. Moments when she thinks that maybe if she'd been the girl he thought she was… maybe she could have changed him. Saved him.

But she decided long ago that that wasn't her job, that there was really nothing she could have done; she just didn't love him like that. She couldn't save him.

But maybe she could.

"I think what's best," Karma says, "is for her to be with someone who would always put her first, who would always do anything for her, who would die for her." And then - and it surprises her more than him - for the first time in years, Karma hugs him.

"I think she belongs with her father."

And God help her, she means it.

"It sneaks up on you, doesn't it?"

Karma's eyes never leave the cord, the outlet, the space between them and her hands don't stop trembling, not until Shane's fingers close over hers and she manages to wheeze out a single ragged breath and the world starts to move again.

"Happens to me all the time," he says, kneeling down next to her at the edge of the stage. "It's the weirdest fucking things. Loke I'll see a hot guy - so clearly as gay as the day is long - and he'll be hanging with a girl and I want to call Liam up and tell him I need backup. I need my wingman."

Shane runs his thumb along the top of Karma's hand and she turns to him, sees the faraway look in his eyes and brings her other hand to his cheek. Sometimes, she thinks, they forget - all of them - that douche or not, asshole or not, royal fuck up or not…

Liam was the Karma to Shane's Amy. Maybe Shane never fell for him (maybe), maybe there was never that extra level of… whatever… between them and maybe, when she thinks about it, Karma thinks that makes it worse. Because there was never that distance, there was never that hurt, there was never that wall - no matter how small - between them.

Liam was hers, in more ways than Karma likes to think about, but he was more Shane's than...well… anyone's. He was a Booker by name but, in the end, he was a Harvey in every way that mattered.

"There's an outlet in my house," Shane says. "Behind my couch, you know, the brown one Sasha gave me?" Karma nods, she's crashed on it a few thousand times. "I don't use it anymore," he says. "Every time I try to plug something in, there's this spark, it jumps from the wall to the plug and it's not like I ever felt it and everything I plug in there works just fine, but…"

But it's a reminder. It's a sneaky little bitch of a memory, a flicker of a moment they never saw, but seeing doesn't fucking matter, not really. They didn't see the spark that set the flame.

But they saw the end. And that was… enough.

"It sneaks up on you and you don't know what to do," Shane says as Karma drops the cord and flips her hand over, lacing their fingers together. "Whether to fall into it and cry and wail and curse the fucking universe or…"

He wipes at his eyes with his free hand and Karma squeezes gently. "We're not supposed to… they don't under…" She tips her head back and takes a deep breath and she glances around, almost involuntarily looking for Amy or Reagan or (please, no) Lauren. "I know they all said they forgave him but…"

"But it still feels dirty," Shane says. "Grieving him. Even here… especially here, what with Martin and…" Karma leans against him and he wraps an arm around her, holding her close, something he never would have imagined but now… well… his hand slides down and - for just the briefest of moments - rests against her belly.

Now, he better get used to it.