Disclaimer: I don't own. Stephenie Meyer does and the last time I checked, I wasn't her. Sad times.
I know that you've all been waiting for this for a long time and I will tell you now, I've thought long and hard about this and it was not an easy decision to make to post this.
This is the outtake I wrote for the preemies fundraiser which means that yes . . . it is Edward's Change Outtake.
Enjoy.
Edward
How is it you can believe that everything within yourself will stay the same for the rest of eternity and then have it change because of one creature? One whom wouldn't have been significant to you if there had been a slight difference in any of the factors that had brought you together.
If one of you had been born at a different moment.
If you were a different gender.
If it had been another time or place that either of us had been born we might not have been bound in the way that we were.
And looking down at her I didn't know if I could ever be without Isabella again.
As I spent the days with her, I could see that I was changing and yet I was powerless to stop it. I hadn't changed since I had become what I am,. Since I had created my own race and yet, this tiny little woman enters my life and there is nothing I wouldn't do.
She was remarkable.
Before I had met her, I held no one dear. My lifestyle had shown that much was clear. If something or someone had gotten in my way before I had come face to face with Isabella again, there wasn't anything that could stop me from destroying it. But being with Isabella again brought new things to light. Things that showed me the absorption power she had wasn't just one way.
She had the power to exude certain emotions and traits as well.
And apparently compassion was one of said traits.
Figures, huh?
Isabella had often said that she would have liked to be able to introduce me to her father. Well, I wasn't too sure he would have taken to me in the way she thought he would. Apparently, we I had first found her, sitting in that park, reading her book as if nothing else in the world mattered, she had escaped one of her father's many talks about finding a suitable husband.
She had told me that he would bring up marriage as often as he could, stating that he wouldn't be around forever and that she needed someone to take care of her when he was gone.
Isabella being Isabella of course, wasn't too happy with that little statement.
She explained that she knew he was only looking out for her, but something it drove her to madness. That was why she went to the park every afternoon. To escape.
Ironic, isn't it?
The one place she went to escape the suitors her father kept finding for her was the one place she had found the one she was supposed to be with forever.
I had taken her back to that park a few years ago and the look she had on her face was one that told me she wished there was a way to go back to that time. I could tell she missed the simpler life of the early nineteen hundreds. There wasn't really much she had to worry about when she first met me. All she had been troubled about was the threat of the Influenza which in the end would have taken her life. Her father did not survive the epidemic and she would not have either.
She remembered more about our meetings as she sat there, in the same spot she had always sat in when reading. There was nothing more beautiful than Isabella, sitting in the park, not a care in the world.
The others in the park didn't pay us any mind, completely unaware that a human being had lost their life in the very spot we were sitting in. Of course, there were many things that happened in this park that those who used it during the day were unaware of. Either that or they chose to ignore it.
Being with Isabella in the place she had grown up had led me to thinking about my own childhood, which was a place I didn't really want to revisit. I hadn't thought about that in a long while but for some reason, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. Leaving Chicago we got on a plane headed for Europe. This had confused Isabella and I wanted to tell myself we were just headed over there to ensure that the vampires of the world were behaving themselves. Making sure they were abiding by the rules. I had told Isabella that was the reason.
She knew it was bullshit.
And so did I.
She just wasn't sure of the truth.
For some reason, Isabella's visiting her old home, which had been refurbished and now had a human family living inside, had gotten me wondering about my own past. I hadn't really dwelled on my years as a human since I had turned. They seemed insignificant when it came to it. Why spend an eternity dwelling on something that cannot be changed?
It was pointless.
"This trip has nothing to do with the vampires in this part of the world, does it?" Isabella asked as I drove towards the unmarked land I had called home millennia ago.
I let out a breath, knowing, just as she did that it was nothing to do with the species and more to do with what was going on within my own mind. She could have picked the information out of my head if she had felt inclined to do so, if it had warranted it – as had been the case on a couple of occasions prior to this one – but she didn't. She was patient, even for a vampire and her stubborn streak had often come out in the years we had been together. Sometimes, it worked in her favour, allowing me to open up and keep her 'in the loop' – her words, not mine – as it were. Other times, it just pissed me off. I was glad she wasn't delving into my mind now. "No."
"It's okay to be nostalgic." She said quietly, linking her fingers through mine.
"Is it?" I truly didn't know. I had never really given any consideration to memories before. Especially my human ones.
"Of course it is." Her voice was filled with suck conviction I couldn't even find it within myself to argue with her.
Now that was a new one.
Arguing with Isabella was always an interesting affair. She had so many opinions and her mind was always teeming with activity. Even arguing with her was endearing. Even though it could stem from the most pointless of subjects and last for such a long time, neither of us could truly figure out why we were arguing in the first place.
And the making up with her afterwards was always worth it.
But I digress.
"I'm guessing you haven't really thought about when you were human, have you? About what it was like?" I shook my head and she sighed, resting her head against the headrest on her seat. "Most of us would love to remember our human years. I know I would." There was a wistful tone to her voice as she gazed out of the window at the passing landscape. "And here, you can recall everything about yours with perfect clarity, yet you have no desire at all to do so. It's a bit ironic if you ask me."
"I can't tell you why I remember being human." I gave her hand a small squeeze as I drove. "But I do. There are a lot of things about my own existence that I don't understand or even know."
"Maybe there's a reason you remember." She mused quietly and I was almost certain she was talking to herself – because with Isabella, you can never tell – so I didn't answer.
We drove in silence for a while longer, day turning to night and back again, only stopping to refill the car. We often spent days in complete silence, not needing words to fill the air around us. There was nothing that could be said out loud that couldn't be said with a simple look or touch. Especially if you were with the right person. The person that could understand you and knew what you were thinking – even without the gift of telepathy – without you having to say or do anything.
The one that most never find.
Even though it had taken me fifteen thousand years to do so. I had found her. I had found part of myself I wasn't even aware I was missing. I knew that my existence before had not been as it could have. I didn't not live as one given immortal life should. I shifted in the shadows, only making myself known when it was needed. But before Isabella had come along, I hadn't really thought of any other way to be.
She had brought out a side of me I didn't even realise existed. Not even in my human years. She was playful and downright silly at times and if it had been any other creature, I would have found it aggravating. But with her, it did nothing but make me love her even more than I already did.
She was the carefree to my serious.
She balanced me out when I hadn't even been aware of what I was missing.
Having found her, I had found myself doing things I never thought I would. She, of course, wanted to see all the sights in the world. There were some we were limited on, obviously, having to view them at night due to the sun and the problems it caused.
But the look on her face as she gazed upon the Sphinx and the pyramids was one I would do anything to see over and over again for the rest of eternity.
She was turning me into a sap.
She had insisted that we go and visit England properly as she always wanted to do when she was human. So I took her all over the country. We travelled up and down the coast and I found myself thankful for the bleak weather of the country because it meant that we didn't have the problems with running into too many humans. They tended to stay inside when it was cold outside.
We stopped off in London and we went on all the tours of Buckingham Palace and the Houses of Parliament. Remind me again why I was doing this?
Isabella. Right!
While we were in London, I had heard through the human minds about a rash of murders happening throughout the city. I searched the future surrounding the city and discovered that a vampire had decided to make the capital city of Britain it's home and was not being careful about his feeding habits.
He was no longer causing any problems.
Isabella had made a tourist out of me and while a part of me hated it, another part didn't really care because she was content and happy. She was doing things she had always dreamed of doing as a human and hadn't really had the chance to in her first century as an immortal.
She turned to look at me, an eyebrow raised as I stopped the car on the side of a narrow lane. I had driven it up onto the grassy curb far enough so that other vehicles were able to pass without causing much of a fuss. I didn't answer her questioning look as I got out of the car, looking over the vast expanse of land in front of me. She silently climbed out and stood beside me, clasping my hand in hers, a silent show of support, watching me, her golden eyes curious and alight with questions.
"This is it." I said quietly, looking down at her. She was confused with my cryptic words, as was expected. "This is where I was born."
She looked over at the land with a new expression on her face, as if the maintained fields in front of her now held some kind of deeper meaning.
"It's different to how it used to be."
She was quiet for a little while, her eyes fixed on the tiny village about a mile away that was, ironically, in the exact place my tribe's encampment had been. If I hadn't known otherwise, I would have said they were the descendants of my people.
That, though, was not possible.
"Show me." She said softly, looking back up at me. "Show me what your world was like." She wanted to see my memories. It was not unexpected considering how long she'd been curious and where we were. I knew she would ask at some point.
I wanted to show her. I wanted to share what had happened to me and what I was like as a human but there was another part of me that had to admit I was scared. I hadn't felt this way since the night had turned. It was as though being back here was bringing me back to the human I once was. The human that had dwelled, slept and hunted on these very lands before the humans had turned them into the organised strips they were now.
I let out a breath, sitting down. I pulled her down with me and she settled in my lap. This was not an unusual place for her to be. She rested her head on my shoulder, her forehead pressed against the side of my neck.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
I closed my eyes and allowed myself to do something I'd never done before.
I voluntarily went back to my human days.
The carefully organised and split fields the humans used that had been in front of us not a moment ago melted away and turned into a rugged unkempt area. The grass was long, the plains melting into the forests that had now been demolished by man, making way for crops and livestock.
In the centre of the vast plain there were signs of life, of human dwelling. Of my people. My tribe. My family. By modern standards, it was incredibly savage, being nothing more than simple wooden and grass huts made from the surrounding trees. Animal skins had been used for insulation where possible and there wasn't much in the way of flooring. Whatever we could find really. Animal skins. Dried grass. Whatever we could find to keep ourselves warm.
There was a large fire in the centre of the encampment, which was primarily used for cooking the game that had been killed that day, if any at all. These were not the times of convenience food or fast food restaurants. Unlike modern times, humans had to work for their food. It was required that each and every man had the knowledge and the skills of the hunt.
The fire was also an effective deterrent for any animals that might wander too close to the tribe. What with there being children, babies and the sick around, no one wanted to risk losing someone if they didn't have to. Death might not have been as much of a tragic occurrence as it was in modern times, being much more frequent, but there was still no sense in putting oneself in danger when there was no need.
Knowing Isabella would want to know everything, I allowed myself to slip back into who I was then. Back into the mind of the seventeen year old boy I had been. In a sense, I was seeing everything as though I was living it once again.
Not something I thought I'd ever do.
The things we do for the one we love.
It was surreal to say the least. Having the knowledge of the modern world and yet not being able to apply it to where I was now within in own mind.
I didn't like it very much.
It was evening and the meat was being cooked by the women while the men relaxed.
It was a celebratory night of sorts. A clan a few miles from my own had decided they want to try and take our land. They had failed and tonight we were celebrating our victory. It wasn't often we were able to celebrate. Unlike modern times, marriage wasn't something that happened. Generally, the only time anything was celebrated, it was the conception of a child. Pregnancies were something that were always celebrated, no matter who you were or what your standing. A child was always something that would be welcomed into the tribe.
I went to find my mother, who was not at the fire ground. She was back in our hut, waiting for the celebration to begin. She had been tired lately and I worried about her.
I walked into the hut and she was laying there, in her little area, fast asleep. She was as beautiful as she had always been. Her long hair was the shade as mine, a deep dark red. There was no control over her fiery locks and I knew I had inherited that trait from her as well. Not that I minded. She was slender, her days of having to work hard in the camp while we were out trying to find some meat for us to eat had contributed to that.
Her beauty had caught the eye of many of the male members of the tribe over the years, one encounter having resulted in me. But just because she was a mother didn't take away from her beauty. It only proved to the other men that she was a suitable mother for their children.
Not sure how I felt about my mother being thought of in that way.
But there was one I didn't want hanging around her.
Neyaar.
He annoyed me. There was no other way to put it. Hanging around my mother as though if he annoyed her and was persistent enough, she might give in.
Not really going to happen.
Waking my mother up gently, she smiled at me, taking my hand in her own and pressing her lips to the backs on my fingers. It was her way of telling me she was happy I was home. She didn't want me to get hurt in any way, which I guess was a mothers' wish when it came to her offspring.
I spied Neyaar across the fire, his eyes never leaving my mother as she sat down. I made sure I sat close to her, making sure she was touching me in some way. I didn't like the way he was watching her so closely. His eyes flicked to me and I saw the annoyance building in them. He didn't like my presence around my mother and I had the feeling, had he the chance, he would have gotten rid of me a while ago. The possessiveness he exuded while watching my mother was unnerving to say the least.
It was as if he would do anything to have her.
Or at least make sure that no one else could have her.
I wasn't going to lie. I knew my mother was one of the more desired women in the tribe and most of the males lusted after her in some way. Some more than others of course, but that was neither here nor there. My mother had turned them down at some point or another. Sooner or later, they realised she wasn't interested and moved on to another female.
But Neyaar was like a gnat that wouldn't go away. He was the perpetual thorn in my side and I could see the annoyance in my mothers' eyes building each and every time she approached her.
Looking at him, it was no wonder the females in the tribe had disregarded him when choosing males to sire their offspring. He wasn't that much older than I was, maybe four winters my senior but you wouldn't have thought he was the elder of the two of us.
He was pale, slim in build and boasting next to nothing in body mass. There were many in the tribe more impressive than he, myself included and to say that irked him was no lost on me. I had always been able to read others easily and Neyaar was no exception to that rule. In fact, he was one of the easiest to read in the tribe. That might have been because he was never one to hide his emotions. His intentions were clear to me so there was no doubt they were clear to everyone around him.
He wanted my mother.
And I didn't want to see how far he would go to get her. I didn't want to risk my mother in any way, shape or form. She was the only constant I'd ever known in a world that was always changing.
She was the comfort that lingered after the harshness of the day had ended.
Of course others in the tribe wanted her but there was nothing about them had posed a danger to her, should they catch her alone. They were more likely to try to win her over with displays of their strength and prowess rather than force her. Forcing a woman was not something that was acceptable at any time.
They wouldn't fathom hurting her.
Unlike Neyaar.
After the celebrations were done, I left my mother in the company of the other females in the tribe. They would look after her, caring for her as she had done for them in the past when they had been with child.
The fact that she was with child again made me even more nervous about what Neyaar would do given half the chance. The fact that he felt no one should be with my mother, other than him, he was not pleased at the news that had brought the rest of the tribe joy, as did the news that any of the females were expectant mothers. He was rife with jealousy and that could influence a man's actions in many ways.
None of them too good.
Wanting to get away from the main activity happening tonight, activities that would not be ending for a good while yet considering the victory we had brought home, ensuring the safety of our women, children and territory. I made my way back to the hut my mother and I shared and lay down to rest. It had been a trying day, seeming difficult compared to most. I needed to relax for a little while. Escape and be with my own thoughts, whatever they may be.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Edaar!" I was aware of my body being shaken, jarred from sleep and back into the conscious world much sooner than I wanted to be. I opened my eyes to see Seytu, an ally and close friend of mine hovering above me. His eyes were wide and filled with grief, panic and many more emotions I couldn't contemplate or understand. "Edaar!" He shook my once again, probably making sure that I was in fact awake and seeing him in front of me. I pushed him away, making him stop.
He stood up, motioning for me to follow him. I stood up, my body language still lethargic, trying to fight off the feeling as I followed him out of the hut.
The first thing I noticed when we stepped outside was that it was still dark. That confused me even more. I looked at Seytu, who gestured for me to follow him once again.
The camp was in an uproar and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I couldn't understand how the racket they were making hadn't woken me up before now but decided not to dwell on it. The women were wailing, trying to provide comfort while shedding their own tears themselves. The men were angry, each of them carrying weapons and heading out in different directions. I wondered if there had been another attack by the rival tribe, trying to catch us off guard.
I stopped when I saw a small huddle of members surrounding the priestess of our tribe. She seemed to be crouched over something.
No. Someone.
Seytu grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the group and my confusion turned to panic. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't want to know what was going on.
I didn't really have a choice though as Seytu pulled me towards the priestess. I could clearly see now that it was a woman and she wasn't moving at all. She was dead. Something had happened either during or after the celebrations and this woman had lost her life. I felt my heart sink as I absorbed the fact that a life had been lost and I had been sleeping. It was never a good atmosphere in the tribe when something like that happened.
Stepping closer to the priestess and the woman, I saw something that made me freeze. A spilling of deep, dark red hair and an outstretched arm with a ring of fox teeth surrounding the wrist. I knew that bracelet well because it had been given to the woman when she had been expecting her first child.
This was not another woman in the tribe that would be missed.
This was my mother!
I pushed past everyone surrounding her, dropping to my knees as I took in her lifeless form in front of me. Her eyes, which had been so full of life and laughter not a few hours before were now cold, empty and dead. There was nothing left of my mother in those eyes. She wasn't in there anymore. She was gone, leaving this shell, her physical presence to linger in this plane while her spirit moved on.
There was a spearhead, broken off about half a foot down jutting out of her chest where her ribs curved and met in the middle. The angle of the intrusion would have killed her almost instantly. Her once perfectly alabaster skin was now marred with the red of her blood as it spilled out onto the ground around her.
I looked up at the priestess who was watching me with a strange look in her eye. Her mouth was set in a grim line and the lines around her eyes told me she wanted to know what I was thinking. Running my fingers through my mothers' hair, I looked back up at her, my eyes boring into hers. She knew what I was asking. She knew I was asking who had done it and where they were now.
"Neyaar." The name instantly made my blood boil and I watched as she lifted up a hand and pointed to the side, towards the thick trees that provided sanctuary for us. He had disappeared, which was not surprising. Taking the life of another was punishable by death and if you took the life of a woman with child, you were condemned to the deepest pits. Your soul would never find peace and you would be forced to forever dwell in the world for the rest of the eternity.
He would pay with his very soul for the life he had taken.
I ran my fingers through my mother's hair again, gently closing her eyes before I stood up and faced the forests the priestess had pointed in.
As soon as I started to take a step, I felt a fragile yet strong grip on my arm. I looked down to see the priestess clutching my arm with all her might. She had a panicked looked on her face and I didn't know whether I was curious or whether I wanted to shove her off of me and head off in search for the low form of life that had taken the life of my mother.
I had known why he had done it.
Because she had been expecting the offspring of another male. He viewed himself as the only one that was worthy of her. He saw her as being the only one he could have, not caring that she already had me. Either that or he was just too much of a coward to try and face me in a confrontation. He knew I would best him. Despite being my senior, I was stronger, faster and more developed than he was. The only way he could ensure that no one would have my mother again was to kill her.
And her unborn child.
"Edaar!" I looked down at her again and she was stood there, shaking her head at me. She didn't want me to follow him. She didn't want me to find the monster that had killed my mother. She probably wanted him to be brought back to the camp so that he could face what it was he had done and how he would be punished by the Gods.
But then said pointed towards the woods while looked at me and then placed her hand flat on my chest, right above my heart. She held her hand flat for a few moments before clenching her fingers into a fist. She was telling me that if I went after Neyaar tonight, my own heart would stop.
Did she not think that I could defeat him? Was she doubting my skills?
She shook her head and I wondered what she meant. Did she mean that Neyaar would best me or was there something else in those forests that would cause my demise if I followed after him?
I looked down at my mother again, the grief and guilt over not being there to protect her was overwhelming. I should have been able to protect her.
I needed to clear my head. I needed to get away from everyone here. I needed to get away from the women mourning the loss of the sister and friend. I had to get away from the men that were plotting the death of the one who should, by rights, find his end by my own hands.
I pushed away from the priestess and made my way towards the forest in the opposite direction to where she had pointed. I needed time on my own. I didn't want to be surrounded by those mourning.
I wanted to be able to do that in peace.
I don't know how long I wandered through the forests for. I knew exactly where I was. I knew these forests like the back of my hand. I was the best navigator of these trees and the others relied on my knowledge to get them through when on a hunt.
The moon was high in the sky as I walked, casting a silver glow on the ground in front of me, allowing me to see the stray branches and roots on the forest floor in front of my feet.
I stopped, noticing the irregularities in the earth in front of me. This wasn't anything made by the winds or animal inhabitants of the forests.
Human footprints.
I would have assumed that it was Neyaar but there was more than one. It was not the tribe because they were hunting with fire and weapons. They were also travelling in larger groups while these footprints belonged to three or four individuals at the most. These footprints didn't belong to anyone from my tribe.
But what was anyone from another tribe doing lurking in the trees around my home?
I looked around, trying to discern anything I could from the darkness around me, but finding nothing. I grabbed a strong, sharp branch that was on the ground beside me and began to follow to footprints. I knew that the smart thing to do would have been to head back to the tribe and come back with the dawn to search for the owners of the prints in front of me. But I knew there would be a manhunt of Neyaar until he was found. It wouldn't matter how long he was missing for or how long the search carried on for. There wouldn't be anything that came first.
Knowing I should be aiding the search for the one that murdered my mother, I quietly followed the prints. I made sure not to make a sound as the prints began to clearer indicating I had been following them in the right direction. That was all I needed at the moment. For them to be leading me to nothing at all.
After a little longer, I could make out the glow of a fire just ahead of me. I kept to the shadows, making sure that none of those that could be surrounding it, keeping warm were aware that I was there. I ducked behind a large tree, able to spy three men sat around the fire. None of them were Neyaar, so I knew they weren't harbouring him.
From what I could tell of the skins they were wearing, they were from a completely different region. What were they doing out here? Could it be possible that they had become lost purely by chance? Or were they here for another reason completely?
It seemed that the region they were from was more advanced than the home tribe. They were communicating to each other in ways that we had never used before.
They were using their voices.
Of course, when it came around the first time I had no idea what they were saying, but sitting here, now, immersed in the memories that had been carried with me from my human years, I understood them. I had known what they were saying since the time I had learned their language and remembered the words.
I kept an eye on the males sat around the fire as they communicated, wondering what was going on.
"You think we can do it?" One of them asked as my modern mind was able to understand the words perfectly while the memories I had were confusing me greatly. The two things happening inside my head were warring over what I knew. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on.
"Yes," another answered, clearly convinced that whatever they had come over here to plan was going to go off without a hitch. "All we need to do is wait for Unnur to come back with the sacrifice and we can begin. That is all we need. Everything else we need, we already have in our possession."
What were they talking about?
Sacrifice?
What or who were they planning on sacrificing?
I didn't have time to ponder those questions at all before I was aware of what was happening, something hard and heavy collided with the back of my head, causing my vision to blur as I lost my footing and collapsed. There was the sound of movement from the fire and someone laughing behind me. There were muffled words as something started to ring in my ears. I felt myself being pushed over and eyes on me. My hands went to my head, wincing as my fingers brushed the area.
There was blood.
"He is perfect, Unnur." A voice above me said gleefully as my head started to clear a little. I was aware of my arms and legs being grabbed and the earth disappearing underneath me. I was being moved. Just where the hell were they moving me to?
When I was placed on the ground again. I could feel the heat of the fire against my skin, I tried to open my eyes to find out what was going on but the pain as I did so was unbearable. What on earth were they doing?
There were bindings being placed on my wrists and ankles, being tightened and fastened into place so that I couldn't move. Why on earth were they binding me in place?
I knew that there was something wrong but the me with no knowledge of what was happening was completely oblivious. I, on the other hand was aware that I was the sacrifice they had been mentioning a moment ago.
There were fragrances all around me, some sweet and some rancid as the lights from the fire flickered behind my eyelids. I could sense and hear the movement of the men around me as I faced away from the fire and slowly opened my eyes. It was easier without the orange and yellow light that glittered and danced next to me. Turning my head slowly, I tried to allow my eyes to become used to the light before I was able to see the men.
I pulled at my bindings, having no luck. I couldn't move an inch. The bindings were so tight they were cutting into my skin. I wasn't sure they were even aware of the pain they were causing me. Or if they even cared. I pulled again, trying once again to get free. The only thing I managed to do was hurt myself even more. They had noticed I was trying to get free and had turned to laugh.
One of them hovered above me, wrapping his fingers around my neck as his lips moved in an unfamiliar pattern and strange sounds escaped his mouth.
Of course I knew what they meant now.
He released my neck and made his way back over to where the other three were waiting for him. There were more words spoken and more smells and things thrown into the air. The four of them reached up to the stars as they stood around me. What on earth was going on?
They knelt down next to me and I wondered if they were going to let me go. No such luck it seemed.
Two of them grasped my wrists while the others did the same with my ankles. This was becoming more and more frightening as they progressed. What on earth were they doing?
What were they going to do with me?
I couldn't hold the cry of pain back as I felt the four of them slice through the skin at my wrists and ankles.
Before I could register what was going on the cuts made were covered by something wet and warm. I turned my head to the side to see one of them at my wrist with his lips attached to my skin as he sucked harshly.
I could feel the same sensation at my other wrist and turned to see one of the others doing the same thing. I didn't have to look to know they were doing the same thing at my ankles.
They were drinking my blood!
What on earth could possess them to do that? What could they possibly gain from it? There was nothing I could think of that could bring them aid through my blood.
I wasn't sure how long they carried on for but the moon was lowering in the sky and the struggles I had been trying to put into place ever since I had realised what they were doing were nothing more than weak nudges as I felt myself going weak. I felt myself losing consciousness after a while and I knew that this night would be the night my heart beat its last.
I should have listened to the priestess when she told me not to enter the woods. I would not be here right now. I would be aiding the hunt for Neyaar. Now I would be joining my mother in the peacefulness of the next world.
I could hear my heart beating in my ears, pounding slow and lethargic, preparing to beat its last as the four of them drained me. I didn't want to know what they would gain form this but all I knew was that it had cost me my life.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting as my heart beat its last but I wasn't expecting to be aware of it. I was expecting to be completely oblivious to the knowledge that I was dead. Was this what death was like?
It was then that a prickling began in my veins, like one has when they've stepped on something slightly sharp and not really recognised what they had done until it had made itself known. It wasn't just in my fingers or toes of even in the places they had been sucking the life out of me.
It was everywhere.
And it was escalating.
The prickling was picking up intensity as it spread. Soon it was more than a prickling and had turned into an inferno that was like liquid fire running through my veins. What had they done to me? This was a fate worse than death for I knew death was not so unforgiving.
Maybe this was my punishment for disobeying the priestess and disregarding her warning about the forest.
Would the priestess have cast something like this on me as a warning not to disobey her again?
No, she wouldn't. She did not harm. She helped and nurtured. She was not one for vengefulk wraths nor was she the one to dole out pain. That was up to the men of the tribe.
This was magic of another kind. Of an evil sort. This was not something that humans were able to conjure up. This was something made from demons. No human could enforce this type of pain onto their fellow man, could they?
If I had thought going through this once was unbearable, reliving it through my memories was even worse. Purely because I knew what was coming. The four men were speaking in panicked tones, clearly not understanding what was going on.
When I had burned initially, I clung onto the voices, not understanding them but wanting them to remain near so that I could place where I was and maybe hold onto some kind of hope that I was still on earth and alive.
But now I knew what was being said, I knew they were panicking, wondering what had gone wrong with the ritual they had been performing. After having learned the language they spoke, I understood that they had been performing the ritual in the hopes of becoming immortal. It had seemed that they had gotten the ritual wrong and turned the sacrifice they had thought would bring them immortality. They did not understand what was happening to me, yet curiosity kept them around and stopped them from leaving me where I was.
Needless to say, they were the first to go.
After a countless amount of time, the pain thrumming through my body began to dissipate. It started at my fingers and toes, slowly drawing up my legs and arms, concentrating in my chest where the pain had become so intense I wished I had the ability to shout out for someone to make it stop. Even now, through my own memories I could barely handle the agony of the change. I had never wanted to revisit that part of my existence. Not just the emotional pain but the physical pain as well.
No wonder Aro had looked at me with such hatred after I bit him in Volterra.
But I digress.
Somehow my heart, which I thought had stopped beating before the pain started was now beating faster than anything I had ever felt or heard. It was as though it was trying to beat its way out of my chest. I wanted something or someone to end it. I couldn't stand it anymore.
And then it was over.
There was nothing.
There was no pain, no heartbeat. Nothing.
I opened my eyes, everything looking different and yet the same. Colours were enhanced, the different shades of the leaves and the bark on the trees more evident than ever before. There were sounds I had never been able to hear before. I could hear the tiniest rustle of the leaves and the insects burrowing deep beneath the layers of the earth. I could hear the river flowing from where it was many miles away before it split into the small stream that led down past where the tribe had set up camp.
I could hear the fearful heartbeats of the men that had seemed to make the mistake of using me as their sacrifice. It was their heartbeats that drew my attention away from everything else. There was something about them that took up all of my attention. I wasn't sure what it was about them, but the four of them smelled exquisite and I quickly noticed an excruciating pain in my throat. It drew all attention away from everything else and I knew I needed to find something to sooth the burn.
I stood up quickly, the four men in front of me cowering slightly at the speed. The branches were moving, swaying slightly in the wake of my quick movement. I found myself momentarily distracted by that thought. And also the fact that I could see myself in my head. But it wasn't as though I was looking at myself. It was like I was seeing myself through someone else's eyes. There were also things flitting through my head that I didn't even know. The strange sounds that the four men had made when I had been hiding from them and after I had been struck.
Thinking back to the males in front of me, my eyes snapped to them and it was as if I could see their pulses. It was as though I knew instinctually what I needed and my body was going to take what it needed, however it needed to get it.
I made my way over to the four of them, trying to come to grips with how my body was responding to my mind. It was as though each and every movement was more fluid than ever before. I could see and feel every muscle in my body as I had never been able to before. I had always been aware of my body, having to keep up with the elder males in the tribe my entire life was no easy feat.
Stopping in front of them, there was a picture in my mind of how I looked. I had seen myself before in reflections of the river's surface but never before through someone else's eyes. I wasn't sure I liked it. I had never looked like this before.
I looked like a monster and I was aware that that was what I had become. I was no longer human.
My pale skin was now as white as snow and as smooth as marble. There were no blemishes that I had had before. I had always had a small scar above my left eye and that was now gone. I had had a cut on my lip and a cut on my arm from the battle my tribe had had with the rival tribe before my mother had been killed. Both of those were now gone.
What had happened to me?
Pulling myself out of the minds of the four males in front of me, there was something pulling me to them. And I had finally figured out what it was.
Their blood.
Reaching out and grabbing one of them, my teeth were instinctively pulled towards the flow of blood in his throat. He let out a scream as my teeth sank through his skin and the rush of blood that flew down my throat was more exquisite than anything else I had ever tasted. The burn in my throat dulled as I drank, his body becoming limp and weak as his heart beat its last.
Throwing him down on the ground. I flew through the others, draining each of them. Something inside of me had been awakened and I didn't know how to dampen it down. There was nothing I could do to stop the thirst from burning in my throat. I wanted blood and I wanted it now.
I didn't know where to get it though.
I kicked the lifeless forms out of the way as I stood where I had been lying as I went through the pain that should have been the end of me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to try and find other heartbeats around.
The tribe.
I started off in the direction I knew the tribe was, moving at a speed that would have astounded me if I hadn't been so focused on my goal of blood. I needed it. I craved it.
And I would do anything to get it.
I stopped on the edge of the forest, smelling the tribe all gathered in one place. It was as though they were all waiting for me to end them. To drain them.
I inhaled and found that there was fresh blood in the air. I could see them, all gathered. They were standing, facing two of them members. One I knew was the priestess that had urged me not to enter the woods or my heart would stop beating. She probably thought that I would die.
Little did she know that I would be the one to destroy my own people.
The other one I knew as the one that had killed my mother. Neyaar. He would be the first to die. He had taken her from me without a single thought for anyone else in the tribe or the life she was nurturing. He was lower than scum.
Maybe I should leave him till last to show him what a true monster was. I knew that feeling no remorse over the deaths of the four men I had just ended proved that.
I walked out of the woods and into the sunlight, momentarily distracted by the effect it had on my skin. It was as though I was covered in tiny water droplets, glistening in the sunlight. I heard them all stop and turn to face me as I made my way towards them.
"Edaar!" It was Seytu, my best friend. He started towards me, his mind showing the disbelief he felt upon seeing me. I knew that there was something different in the way he was. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
According to his mind it had been three sunrises since I had been seen, since the priestess had warned me against going into the forest.
They stood there, cowering as I approached. Their heartbeats were beating fast, almost as one and it was incredibly hard not to charge them and destroy them all in one fell swoop. There were images being blasted at me of the last few days, from my disappearance being discovered, to the finding of Neyaar. It appeared he had been trying to make a getaway over the mountains that resided not too far away. Less than a days' run from here. He had been found by Seytu and his group of hunters. Seytu knew those mountains as well as I knew the forests and no one could escape from him there.
Not that that mattered anymore.
The tribe split as I made my way towards Neyaar. They were lucky they were still alive.
"Edaar!" The priestess stepped towards me, stopping and gasping when she saw my eyes. They were the colour of the blood I had just consumed from the four men in the forest. They would not be found. Their carcasses would be devoured by scavengers before the day was out.
I stopped in front of Neyaar, who was bleeding from several wounds. He had been beaten when they found him, there being no mercy for one who had taken the life of another. He was small and scared, as should be expected. He had known since they found him that he was to die, yet he hadn't comprehended that I would be the one to end him.
After my disappearance, none of them had.
I grabbed him by the shoulder and dug my teeth into his flesh. The women screamed while the men were frozen in horror as I drained him quickly, dropping him to the floor once I had finished with him.
The danger I presented registered with them as I turned, my chin covered in his blood and the look in my eye obviously told them to run.
They scattered.
It was only the priestess that had remained and she was running through rituals that could banish the monster and bring the old Edaar back. He was gone. I knew that now. There was no way for me return to the boy I had been not four days ago.
He was dead.
And so was she.
I drained her just as quickly as I had Neyaar and turned to see the men that I had once called brother standing there, banded against me, weapons at the ready.
I wasn't sure how I knew they would be useless against me but I strode towards them, brushing their spears and sharpened flints sides, destroying and draining the males filled with fear quickly and more efficiently than I had ever cut down a man while I had been human.
But that might have been because I wasn't human anymore. My heart was no longer beating and I wasn't anything any of these men could cut down. I had seen them bring down the largest of game and yet it wasn't enough experience to cut down something such as myself.
I was beyond them.
I looked down at the body in my arms and saw that Seytu was my latest victim. I should have felt some kind of sadness, remorse and guilt but I didn't. All I felt was hunger and the fear emanating from the rest of the tribe.
The females were grabbing the children and running, trying to get to the trees lining the encampment, thinking that they would be able to lose me in the thick forest.
None of them made it that far.
It was over in minutes.
I cut them all down, not caring that they were the women that had fed and clothed me when I was younger. That they had nurtured me as much as my own mother had. It didn't matter to me that they were the ones I had called sister for my entire lifetime.
They meant nothing to me now.
I should have felt gorged by now, satiated and full but I wasn't anywhere near.
I looked around, the last victim I had destroyed hanging limply in my arms as I saw the devastation I had caused. Not a single member of the tribe I had called my family as long as I had been alive were left living.
I looked down at the female in my arms, remorse trickling into my heart and head for the first time since I had begun my massacre.
It was Hana. Her golden hair hung limply from her shoulders, covered in the blood that I had spilled when feeding from her. I ran my hand over her belly, swollen with the child she was carrying.
The child I had sired.
She was the only one that I had felt anything with over her death. She was carrying the only life I had created and I had destroyed it. It shouldn't have mattered to me but it did.
It was then and there that I knew for certain that I was a monster. I was something that no one could justify. I wouldn't be given any salvation after death. There was no spot waiting for me next to my mother now as I hoped there would be when my time came.
I placed her back on the ground, looking at the chaos that had ensued.
There were bodies strewn everywhere, looking like a battlefield. But there had been no battle.
Just a massacre.
I spotted a small stone jutting out of the ground that hadn't been there before I had gone into the woods. It was new. I made my way towards it, stopping in front of it, knowing exactly what it was.
My mothers' grave.
I knew down in front of the stone, running my fingers over the freshly moved earth. She was underneath me and I could practically see her spirit, feel her disappointment.
Looking back over the encampment at the bodies laying haphazardly where I had cut them down, I turned and ran in the direction I knew would lead to more. It was like as I had started, I couldn't stop my search. Even though I had just destroyed the lives of over a hundred people in less time than it took to cook meat, I still craved more.
Would it stop?
I pulled Isabella and myself out of my memories and she let out a breath, her eyes wide. There was nothing running through her mind and I could see she was trying to process what she had just seen. There were no words.
"Wow." She breathed, looking down at me. I nodded, knowing that there was nothing she could say that would change anything she had seen. It was in the past. "That was . . ."
I shook my head and she ran her fingers through my hair.
"I know that you had told me what had happened but seeing it like that . . . it just kind of takes everything to a whole new level. It gives it new meaning." She whispered and I nodded. "So . . . it's because of those men that you're the way you are?"
"Yes." I nodded once and she squeezed me to her tightly. "It wasn't until later, when I had picked up on the language they had been speaking that I realised they were searching for immortality themselves. Apparently, they hadn't gotten the ritual quite right."
"So instead of turning themselves, they turned you?" I nodded. "Were they one of the ones that turned?"
"No." I let out a breath, looking out across the village that now stood where my own had millennia ago. "The first ones to turn were those in my village. The ones I hadn't completely drained. Seytu was one of them."
"What happened to him?" She asked, her voice quiet as she watched me.
"I don't know." I shook my head, resting my cheek on her forehead as I closed my eyes. "He was probably killed by another turned vampire or a tribe that had discovered fire was a weakness my 'descendants' had."
"What if he wasn't?"
"Then we've done one hell of a job avoiding each other all this time." She giggled at my words. I would have been lying if I hadn't thought about Seytu at least a couple of times over the millennia. I had wondered what had happened to my old friend. I had run into him just as I was coming out of my 'newborn' stage, where I could think coherently and wasn't consumed by such a thirst as I had been before.
He hadn't stuck around when he had seen me. He had been as afraid of me as he had been when I had killed him, which was understandable. The last memory he had of me was me coming at him with the intention of eating him.
Which I did.
"What would you do if he was still alive?" She asked quietly, knowing that I hadn't afforded any that I had made the same comfort I had given her when it came to her existence. She knew I couldn't destroy her. She knew it would be impossible for me to do so. No matter how much she pissed me off sometimes.
"I don't know." I sighed and she pressed her lips to my jaw, humming softly.
"Well, if he is still alive, he's obviously shown he knows how to control his power. I mean there's not really a reason to destroy him if he can do that, right?" She reasoned and I rolled my eyes at her thoughts.
"This is all hypothetical. He was probably killed millennia ago along with all the others that were created in my first year." I looked out across the fields before standing up. I placed Isabella on the ground and she wrapped her hands around my waist.
"It's amazing how much things can change." She whispered, looking out over the fields in the same manner I was. "It's amazing how something that looks so indestructible, like a vast forest, can be cleared away in no time at all by anything really. I mean fire, man, any kind of natural disaster can destroy something so majestic and yet, something that seems as insignificant as a man," she smiled up at me and I knew what she was getting at, "can linger for an eternity."
"I know what you mean, love." I pulled her close to me, resting my cheek on her head again. "Eternity used to seem so bleak." I sighed softly, running my hand through her hair gently.
"'Used to'?" She asked, looking up at me questioningly.
"It doesn't anymore." I whispered, pressing my lips to hers. "I've found the one thing that makes it worth living."
She smiled up at me, linking her fingers with mine. "Let's get out of here." She whispered, her lips moving by mine again.
I couldn't agree more.
With Isabella by my side, eternity wasn't a curse I had to carry.
It was something I could look forward to with this glorious creature by my side.
. . . . . . . . . . .