Have you ever had one of those dreams that is so creepy yet
inexplicably...whacked that you just have to laugh about it?
I had one of those last night.
I actually had two whacked dreams, the first one I was woken up from...and I woke up yelling something along the lines of, "NO! DON'T TAKE ME! I TRIED TO GET HIM TO PAY THE FREAKING CHILD SUPPORT!"
Hmmm...yeah, but I'll tell you the creepy one first.
Iggy: This one she woke up from cracking up.
Me: It's just...strange. I mean, it's creepy 'cause it has death in it...but it was so off the wall...wow...Okay, well, here it is.
I'm sitting in a room made up of only big white walls. (Anyone else start singing Fences in their head?) I look up...and see Edward Cullen. (Yup, this was a Twidream.) He's staring at me...oddly. Suddenly there's an apple in my hand. As soon as I take a bite of it Edward launches himself at me, but I jump away. "WHOA! WHAT THE HECKENBURGE?" I yell. Edward glares at me more. "You just ate my love. My one and only. MY PERFECT OTHER HALF!" He shouts at me, lunging once more. I throw the apple at him. It hits him in the eye. He lets out a girly shriek and hugs the apple... Then I'm in a totally different room. I know it's the Cullen's house. (You know how you're somewhere you dont' recognize in your dream, but you just KNOW where it is? Yeah...it was one of those deals.) Carlisle enters the room. He opens his mouth...and suddenly transforms into Mr. Schuester. (Oh, what's a dream without Glee?) Esme walks in and transforms into Quinn, and the rest of the Cullens come in and transform to various other Glee characters. I laugh when Emmett turns into Kurt. (-snickers-) I laugh even harder when Jasper turns into Finn. (-cracks up- Em...an...Jaz...HAHAHAHA!) A voice coming from...nowhere says, "She take my money, well I'm in need. Yeah, she's a triflin' friend indeed. Oooh she's a gold digger way over time. That digs on me." Carlisle, who know looks like a mix between himself and Mr. Schuester, starts rapping. "Cutie da bomb Then he transforms himself in Mr. Corn. (The band director at the high school, this part would be freaking hilarious if you had seen him dance to Gold Digger.) He starts to breakdance and all that junk, which has me in hysterical fits. (Here's the creepy part.) Then suddenly I'm out in the woods. I'm with Jasper and Bree. (One of the newborns in Eclipse.) I've been vampirized and we're hunting. We come up to this house, it's old and beat down, it just looks creepy... We walk to the front door, which has been left ajar. And there. Laying on the floor, a big bloody mess, is a young woman. She couldn't be older than 25. There's blood everywhere, she's obviously been murdered. But she's not dead yet. She's looking up at us, a look of horror on her face. "This is just what we're looking for." Bree murmurs. "Go ahead, newbies first." She nudges my shoulder and pushes me towards the murdered girl. I try to hold myself back, but my throat's burning. I grab her wrist and sink my teeth into her. Once I've had my fill of blood, I back off. Jasper goes this time. Then we hear foot steps. Bree has magically vanished, it's just me and Jasper. I pull him out and close the door. I wipe the blood from my mouth and lean against the door, acting like I'm asleep. Jasper follows suit. A woman walks up. She clears her throat. "Um...hello?" She says quietly, tapping me on the shoulder. I open my eyes, acting as if I have just woken up. "Oh...hello." I says. Jasper "wakes up" as well, giving a small, kind wave to the woman. "What are you two doing here?" The woman asks. "Oh, we came to visit Cathy." I say, instantly know the woman's name. (How? I don't know...one of those creepy things with dreams.) "Oh? Well so did I. Is she not answering her door?" The woman asked. Jasper and I shook our heads. "We've been here all day, just knocking." Jasper says. The woman grabs a key and opens the door. She gasps and screams. Jasper and I look in and pretend to be shocked. "Oh my word!" I exclaim. "That explains why she hasn't been answering." The woman says, stifling sobs at seeing her friend dead. Then suddenly I'm sitting outside the house with the woman, who's name is Sylvia, and Jasper. She gives us pamphlets about another woman. "I think it was Rachel." Jasper says. I am confused. I look at the pamphlet and it has a lot about this Rachel woman, and then something about a man named Trent. Both are suspects for Cathy's murder. Then I'm outside of my own house with Jasper. "What if whoever killed Cathy was a vampire?" I ask. "They were." Jasper says. "What do you mean? How do you know?" I question. "WE killed her. She was alive and we killed her." I didn't remember this part. But it was true. THEN, I was sitting on a couch watching CSI. There was a woman, she was the Rachel lady from the pamphlet, running down the street. She stopped in front of a group of three people. A man and two women, I instantly knew this was the pimp and his employees in The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. Rachel attacked them, killing them. She was a vampire. Mum turned to me and said, "Well, you hit that nail on the head." Rachel had killed Cathy, I knew that.
Met her at a beauty salon
With a baby Louis Vuitton
Under her under arm
She said I can tell you rock
I can tell by ya charm"
Then the Glee cast appeared again and started singing Hate on Me.
This is why I hate the desktop.
So, I had a few quotes from this book I'm reading, Nightlight, right here. But then the computer went all screwy, and it's been deleted.
So, yeah, screw the Nightlight quote. But I will say, go buy Nightlight by the Harvard Lampoon. It's a parody of Twilight, and it's great!
Now, here's my second dream, this one I'm not really going to put much detail in 'cause this is the second time I've written it and I'm not happy now...grr...
Me: -sitting on the couch with Justin watching Spongebob-
Iggy: -playing with a tye-dyed shirt-
Justin: -eats toast-
Iggy: I have a headache.
Me: -throws pills at Iggy-
Iggy: -grumbles- -takes pills- -vanishes-
-smoke fills the room-
-Saint and Fang appear-
Me: -glomps Saint- MUMSIE! -glomps Fang- DADDY!
-cops burst through the door- -grab me and Saint-
Cop #1: You two are under arrest for Fang not paying child support.
Me: WHAT?
Saint: I'm a good mother!
Affie(Saint's aunt): -appears- LET MY PEOPLE GO! -drives away in a powder blue Prius-
Jeff Dunham: -runs after her shaking his fist- GIVE ME MY CAR BACK!
Walter: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's gay.
Cops: -drag me and Saint away-
Me: NO! I TRIED TO GET HIM TO PAY THE FREAKING CHILD SUPPORT!
Then I woke up and my mom was dragging me to my bed since I had fallen asleep on the couch.
Yes, Saint's aunt appeared in my dream...Stealing Jefafa's car.
Why wasn't Peanut there? Gah!
Iggy: Why'd I just randomly vanish?
Me: ...vanishing pills?
Iggy: Oh...
Me: Heh, yeah, so that's all for THIS chapter. An-OHEMGEE! WAS THAT THE UPS TRUCK? YES MY CHARGER! -runs off-
Iggy: Oh, good, now she can stop complaining.