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I'm sorry if there was any confusion at the end of last chapter- this chapter makes it much clearer with what happened.

I'm also sorry for the lack of updates- things will be much better once summer comes around. For now, enjoy chapter 37:

"Let me handle this Max," Ash heard Sabrina mutter as a painful sob forced it's way out of Ash. He felt his hands tightening, he couldn't even control himself now, washed away in the sheer burden that was on his shoulders. His attempts to soothe himself did nothing, and another sob rattled his chest. There wasn't even any tears, his eyes stung with dryness as his chest ached with yet another sob, "...Blaze, who attacked you?" Sabrina asked quietly, worry in her tone, but it only sent a pulse of rage through him. He was sick of her pretending to care! Sick of her trying to help! "Was it-?"

Ash recoiled as the sound of a Pokeball opening filled his ears, cutting off Sabrina. A bright light emerged from his bag, a Pokemon starting to take shape in front of him. He jumped back, eyes going wide. No, hadn't he put everyone in the PC...? No one should be able to get out-!

A sleek black fox formed in front of him, fear and relief intertwining through Ash as he watched the Zoroark take shape. Of course, he must have left Zoroark's dusk ball deep in his bag, unforgotten in those desperate moments last night as he had put everyone way... Just like how Elgyem's timer was ball still hidden away in his Poketch. Ash touched the small device, shivering as memories of last night threatened to rise. He closed his eyes, trying to burying those thoughts.

"Zoro," Zoroark muttered, sniffing the air hopefully, and for once there wasn't a look of chaos in the illusion fox's gaze. Ash only stared, not even noticing it how strange it was for him to not to have an illusion up. Without even glancing around at those around him, Zoroark took off away from the pavilion, running on all fours, eyes fixated on something in the distance. Ash stiffened at this action, mind racing as he tried to piece together what was happening and what he should do. Let him go? Go after him? Ash stood there for a moment, while Ivysaur took in a deep breath, then ran after the dark type, though much slower than the speedy fox.

"Blaze-"

Gritting his teeth, Ash stormed past Sabrina, heading after Zoroark, simply trying to keep his mind focused on something, and away from Sabrina. Away from his anger, away from his pain. He wasn't going to let this happen again, he needed to be able to think... To focus... His mind just needed to be clear enough so he could understand what was happening in the moment... When had it become so hard to even think?!

Ivysaur had paused a little ways from the pavilion, watching as Zoroark made his way down towards the road, eyes focused on something. Ivysaur let out a low whimper, as if not sure of what to make of Zoroark, and Ash wasn't quite sure why Bulbasaur thought is was his responsibility in the first place. Ash paused as well, watching as Zoroark ran right at two humans who were standing in the road, while everyone else scattered at the charging Pokemon.

Ash blinked, watching as the older human woman, who had a tangle of purple hair, look up as Zoroark came right at her. There was a young human boy next to her, who was holding what looked like a very sick-looking Pansage in his arms. The boy looked slightly familiar, with long green hair sweeping from his head, but neither of them looked distressed as they watched the large dark type come barreling at them.

Zoroark happily slammed into the woman, knocking her to the ground, while a small-forming crowd recoiled at this action. Ash jumped as well, but not until the whole woman's image flickered as if it were a projection. The boy and the Pansage flickered as well, as if just a fading hologram, and Ash knew that he had seen this before, it was the look of a Zoroark's illusion right before it vanished.

So Ash was hardly surprised as the illusion of the woman and the boy gave way, and instead revealing a Zoroark with gleaming gray and purple fur appeared, pinned to the ground by Ash's own Zoroark. The shiny Zoroark didn't appear angry at being forced to the ground, she just looked up at her fellow dark type with almost a look of awe and disbelief. The people down in the streets didn't seem to know how to react to this, with Zoroarks being quite a rare sight in their native regions, and nearly unheard of here in Kanto.

Ash shifted to gaze to where the boy and the Pansage had been, but with the illusion now gone, there was no longer a young boy standing there, but now a man stood in his place. There was indeed a Pansage as well, but instead of being scraggy and sickly, the brightly colored Pansage that sat on the man's shoulder was in clearly good health, it's dark green fur clashing against the man's much-lighter green hair. The Pansage did have a far off and somber look in his eyes though, a look that Ash knew all too well.

Ash blinked, and in his dazed state it took him a moment, but he recognized this man, with his long hair drawn back and a white cap sitting on his head. The man was looking at Ash's Zoroark with just as much awe as the shiny one was, and Ash felt his hands start to shake slightly.

"Saur?" Ivysaur called to him as he made his way slowly towards the street to catch up, but Ash didn't offer the grass type any sort of response. His shoulder throbbed with each step, though it wasn't as painful as it had been this morning. Hesitating for a second, Ivysaur followed after Ash, though keeping a good distance between him and the human.

"Zorua?" The man asked, approaching the Zoroark, "Is that really you?" The Zoroark looked towards the man, a grin on his face, "Look at you! You've evolved!" The man stroked Ash's Zoroark, who pressed up against the man in response, finally stepping off of the shiny Zoroark, who sat up. There was still a few people staring at the strange sight, but to Ash's relief, most of them had moved on, so Ash only had his gaze focused on the man. Ash gulped, slowly approaching the man and the Pokemon.

"N?" Ash whispered, hesitantly.

The man looked up towards Ash, his bright blue gaze scanning Ash's form- the hood up over his face, the slight limp in his step, the way he seemed drawn back, afraid to approach. The man, N, looked towards Zoroark, who gave a single nod, and relief spread across N's face.

"Ash," He said quietly, taking a step forward, "Thank Reshiram, I've found you!" Ash stiffened as his name was said- Ivysaur was right there! Zoroark let out a small yip, then pressed up against the shiny Zoroark once more, "Blaze then?" N said with a small frown, and Ash shifted, giving the smallest nod, nearly forgetting for a moment that this man could understand Pokemon.

Ash gulped, hesitated, then took a step back. N frowned at his, and Ash's heart started racing, what was wrong with him? N had helped him, N had believed, so why was he... scared?

"Ash- Um, Blaze, it's me," N said, "Is everything alright?"

Alright? That question made Ash want to burst out laughing in the sheer bitterness of it. No, he wasn't alright. Nothing was. But Ash didn't even move, but instead he took a few steps more back. He couldn't be here, this wasn't safe... Everything in him told him to run back to the pavilion... But why? Those were the people that had hurt him, he didn't want to be near them...

"Blaze?" N asked once more, not sure of what to do with the lack of responses, and Ash dimly was aware that he needed to reply.

"...N..." Ash muttered after a moment, shaking, "W-what are you doing h-here?"

"Looking for you, of course! Why else would I come near the league?" N looked around, sighing, "So many Pokemon battling here... I realize now that it's not all bad, but I can guarantee that at least a fraction of the Pokemon used in battle here were brought up under harsh methods, perhaps even worse..."

The shiny Zoroark snarled at this, bringing Ash's Zoroark into a tight hug. N gave them a small smile, then looked back towards Ash.

"Zoroark has missed her son, I'm glad to see that Zorua is in good health," N said, "Evolved as well," N hesitated, and Ash turned away, "...Ash? Is it alright if I talk to you?"

Asking. Someone was asking for his permission to approach him.

Ash blinked slowly, "...If you must," Ash whispered, "...B-but I want to go back to the p-pavilion..." He looked up towards it. Why? Why did he suddenly want to be there? That's where his former friends were. That's where Looker was, the man that had basically threatened his mother-

Oh, He realized, That's why...

His mother was there.

A wave of sorrow built up in Ash as his thoughts turned towards her- the only person that had stood by him in his hardest time. The only person that had never hurt him in anyway. The person that had managed to give him a breath of calm in the wave of terror from yesterday. The one person that gave him the hope that someone would care, that love could truly exist in this dark world.

That sorrow then turned into pain, a sharp, twisting pain. Like shards of glass had been placed in his blood, stabbing into him with the smallest of movements. Home, the thought had crossed his mind many times in the last few years, to drop everything and simply go back home. To see his mother, to remember what a pair of loving arms felt like, but he had never had the courage to go back, even in disguise. No one else could be placed in danger, especially his mother, it was simply a risk he couldn't justify.

But she was being drawn into this anyways, Looker had seemed to think that she could be the key to finding him. And these last few days... he had seen her, but he now realized that being near her hurt even more. She didn't know who he was, she didn't know what had happened to him. In her mind, he was a stranger. Being near her now hurt more than being away did, because because she was still untouchable.

Tears stung Ash's eyes, realizing how just badly he craved home.

Why couldn't this be over? Why couldn't it just be over!?

He hadn't even realized that he was crying until he heard N's distressed voice, trying to talk to him. Ash couldn't even understand the words coming from him, it was all foreign, a scrambled mess. Ash's fingers twitched, trying to comprehend the words coming from the man, he knew the words, but his mind just couldn't seem to piece them together. N placed a hand on his shoulder, and Ash recoiled. He didn't want to be touched, he didn't want anymore hurt. Shivering with fear, Ash turned, trying to gather his thoughts. The pavilion... he could get up there... right? Taking a shaky step forward, Ash focused his mind on the pavilion ahead, barely even registering the fact that N and the two Zoroark were following him, along with the Pansage and a certain Ivysaur.

Just one step forward, he could at least do that. He could do that...

All eyes were on them as they reached the pavilion once more, and N gently grabbed Ash's arm, guiding him to one of the benches, forcing him to sit. Pure concern was on N's face, not even focusing on everyone as they watched them, which was feat for someone who could be so wary of humans. Shivers were racing through Ash as N's hands drifted near his wounded shoulder, and a few garbled words sputtered up from his throat at this action.

"B-blaze, please," N muttered, keeping his voice calm, "Look at me, alright, just-"

"Don't touch me," Ash whispered, the words barely even able to slip from his mouth. N's hands were quickly withdrawn as Ash said this, and he knelt in front of him.

"I'm sorry," N apologized hastily, his gaze showing that he truly meant it, "I won't do it again, I-" He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, looking towards the shiny Zoroark. She was snarling at everyone, who couldn't help but look at the rare shiny Pokemon. N closed his eyes, "I'm sorry Blaze, I should have been more careful than just barging up towards you like that..."

"You know this boy, N?" Ash stiffened at the voice. Why was Looker still here...? Why couldn't International Police agent just be gone...? Why couldn't he just be alone...

N looked up, looking fairly surprised as his eyes focused on Looker, and they both started at each other for a moment. With shaking hands, Ash dimly remembered that N and Looker had met in Unova, when all three of them had fought against Team Plasma. Ash slowly placed his hands on his knees, trying to stop them from them trembling. He stared down at the floor, blinking. He strained his ears, listening, but it took so much effort to understand...

There was a wary gleam in N's eyes, but he managed to keep a friendly tone in his voice, "Oh yes," N said, "Me and Blaze go a little ways back. I'm surprised to find that you're here though, Agent Looker, what brings you out here to the league?"

Looker shifted, "Just working on a case. I was going to ask you the same question though, I thought that you didn't like Pokemon battles."

N smiled, glancing towards Ash, concern in his gaze, but carried on the conversation, "No, I still don't like battles, though I do recognize that many Pokemon do," He looked towards Zoroark and sighed, "I came out here looking for Blaze, though he seems to be in much worse shape than I thought," N refocused his attention to Ash, "...Blaze, is it alright if I talk to you right now? Or would it be better if I approached you later?"

Ash blinked, taking in this question, though it was similar to what N had asked just minutes before, but Ash barely seemed to remember that. For a moment he just sat there, "Heh," He muttered, then he started laughing.

He didn't care as everyone simply stared at him, going from shaken up to laughing in just a few seconds. It definitely wasn't a cheerful laugh, just air being forced from his lungs from the sheer surprise and bitterness of the mere question. Sabrina scowled at this, Ivysaur gave him a wary look, but Ash kept up the dry laughing for another few moments, before it ended just as quickly as it began.

"You don't know how strange that feels..." Ash whispered to N, "To be asked what I want, what I think..." His lips twitched, "But I suppose that if I say what I really feel, and tell you to leave that you won't: so yes. You can talk to me."

Why was he like this? N had helped him before...

N slowly moved to the bench next to him, pure concern still on the man's face. For someone who had once scowled at the mere sight of humans, he didn't even seem to care now about the small group of strangers watching him. Well, he did know Looker, but Ash couldn't say that N trusted the agent despite their past together, which was something Ash could at least respect.

"I don't want to force anything on you," N said quietly, the Pansage on his shoulders scrambling up to his head, pressing the hat down over N's eyes. He smiled, pushing the cap back up. Pansage watched Ash with uncertainty as N continued, "But this is pretty important," He hesitated once more, "...This is about Team Rocket, so I want to know if you're ready to hear this before I say anything..."

Team Rocket.

Ash stiffened as the words left N's lips. Team Rocket, the ones who had taken everything from him. The reason why people close to him had been killed, the reason he had been forced into his life on the run. The people who only wanted him to know pain- and they had succeeded.

"What about them?!" Ash snarled, bitterness seeping into his rough voice, causing a few people to jump at the anger in his tone. All confusion and uneasiness seemed to slip away from Ash as he spoke, everything jumping back into focus at the mention of the one group. For just a moment, Ash's fear fell away, replaced by a pure, burning hatred.

Only N and Sabrina seemed unsurprised by his reaction. Sabrina was leaning up against a pillar of the pavilion, eyes focused on someone rather than Ash for once. She didn't even seemed concerned by N's presence, even though they had never met. Rather Sabrina's gaze was fixated on Agent Looker. Her expression was unreadable, but her gaze was narrowed in thought. Every now and then her eyes would glow with a lighter blue light, then fade back to their normal cobalt- like she wanted to use her powers, but knew that she shouldn't. Looker would glance in her direction at times, but Sabrina would always look away before he did so, so his main focus remained on N and 'Blaze'.

Delia seemed to react the worse to the mention of Team Rocket, her skin going pale, and her face looking as if it had aged several decades. There was fear in her eyes, mouth twitching, yet she didn't speak. Professor Oak placed a reassuring arm around her, careful not to draw any attention towards Delia.

N hesitated before speaking again, glancing up towards the Pansage who was now on his shoulder. The grass type had a bitter look on his face at the thought of Team Rocket, swinging over to N's other shoulder.

N pulled placed one of two bags he had on the table, "Is it alright if I talk about them?" N asked, watching Ash for his reaction.

Ash bit his lips, he hated Team Rocket with a bitterness that he couldn't even begin to describe- logically he didn't even want to think about them. But Ash couldn't help but savor the anger he was feeling, the way it seemed to direct his mind. Moments ago he had been shaking and unable to process half of what was happening around him. Now he could focus, the rage was clearing his mind.

"If you're worried that I'm just going to have a breakdown," Ash said, an edge of bitterness in his tone, "I'm not. I'm willing to listen," Ash paused, "...Has Team Rocket done something I should know about?" Ash asked, hesitation entering his voice.

N's eyes widened with a slight panic, and Pansage stiffened, but within moments N's gaze was replaced with his normal calm persona, "We both know that Team Rocket doesn't rest," N said quietly, "There will be no good news coming from them."

Ash nodded, while N dug through one of his bags. After a moment he pulled out a series of files, laying them on the table. Ash eyed them uncertainly, not wanting to know what kind of information would be lying inside.

"Ever heard of electronics?" Max muttered quietly, looking at the mass of papers.

N smiled at Max, "I'll use technology if necessary, but I prefer something that I can touch with my own two hands. Besides, paper won't randomly delete itself," N turned back towards Ash, thinking for moment, "Speaking of which... Is your Rotom still with you? It might be able to help me with something."

Ash's hand drifted to his Poketch, silent for a moment as he tried to recall what had happened to Rotom, "It's not with me at the moment... It's exploring," Ash hesitated, "I... I could have Elgyem go get it...?"

"If you would," N said, shifting through his files, acting as if no one else were listening. This was partially true, Brock had drifted into a conversation with Looker. May seemed like she was ready to leave, but Max refused to go, turning away slightly anytime his sister gave a small signal to leave. May blinked quickly, for the first time looking hurt by the cold shoulder Max had been giving her for sometime now. Professor Oak was sitting next to Delia, however his gaze remained fixated on Blaze.

Ash gaze a short nod, but there was a burst of light from his Poketch before he could do anything, making everyone jump. A gray-teal Pokemon appeared near Ash, hovering in front of him, green eyes staring straight at him. He stiffened slightly at the sudden appearance of the Pokemon, the lights on her hands flashing.

You require my service? The Elgyem asked, her voice echoing within everyone's minds due to her ability Telepathy. Ash shivered, hating the feel of the psychic voice in his head.

"Y-yes," Ash whispered, unhooking his Poketch from around his wrist. He held it out to The Elgyem, who caught it with a Confusion attack, bringing it towards her. "I need you to find Rotom and bring it back here. It's currently-"

I have already learned of his location from within your mind. The Elgyem replied, cutting off Ash. She turned, giving a nod towards Sabrina. You are here, Lady Sabrina. It wasn't a question, simply a statement. Perhaps it was a sign of happiness from the alien creature, glad to see someone whom she respected, but she didn't show it. Without another world the Elgyem teleported away with a flash of light, leaving Ash's heart racing.

He owed his life and Charizard's life to Elgyem, but she never failed to bring chills to Ash at her presence. Not to mention that seeing her only brought back memories of when he had caught her in Celestial Tower in Unova... When he had buried Pikachu...

Shivers raced through Ash, and N spoke just in time to save Ash from the buried memories slowly rising in his mind. They threatened to slip through the mental defenses he had built up over these years, and Ash reached out for the hatred that had given him a focus. The anger towards Team Rocket that kept him from the sorrow that only made him crumble. Was this why Charizard was so comused in his rage? Because it made him feel whole?

"I have never met a creature quite like her," N commented, trying to break the icy atmosphere that Elgyem had brought. Ash took in a deep breath, shoving aside his rising memories as N slid a file towards Ash, "I want you to look through some of these. If it becomes too much let me know."

Twitching, Ash reached for the file. It was labeled 'Sinnoh', and he opened it. Ash wasn't sure what he was expecting, but what he got was a list of names. Not just a list, but more of a list of profiles. Small pictures of people that Ash had never seen, alongside their names, hometown, birthdate, death date-

Ash's stomach twisted. Death dates. All of these people were dead.

He looked over their ages of when they died, mouth going dry as he saw many of the people haven't even reached their prime. Next to their name was "cause of death", which listed everything from food poisoning to drowning. Ash didn't even have the heart to go through the several pages within this one folder. He quickly closed it, pushing it back towards N.

"W-what is this?" He asked quietly, voice cracking.

"Team's Rocket's victims," N replied, "From about the last ten years."

N moved the Sinnoh folder away from Ash, placing it near several others. Ash's stomach twisted again, quickly realizing that there was a folder for each region. Some were thin, like Hoenn's and Alola's, while Kanto's folder at least held a dozen papers. Ash shakily reached for the file labeled 'Kanto'. He pulled it towards him, but couldn't bring himself to open it.

"What happened?" Ash asked quietly.

N tilted his head, "I was asked to research Team Rocket, so I did. This is only from the last decade though, I don't know how much more I'd pull up if I looked back farther into their history. If you look over them carefully, you'll noticed that most of these deaths are considered officially as accidents. Sometimes it's labeled as a disappearance, suicide or a murder, but if you look closely into each person's history you'll find something in common: Team Rocket," Ash flinched as N continued, "These people... they witnessed something that Team Rocket did, or they had information about them, or were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some of these people were even deserters of Rocket," He took in a deep breath, "I can guarantee that these deaths weren't accidents."

Ash dared to open the Kanto folder, and to his relief he wasn't meet with any pictures of familiar faces. He knew that if he went onto the other pages he might not have that luck, so he simply stared at the first page in the file. These people had once had lives, families, dreams. They were now only rotting corpses in the ground, only remembered by their name on a piece of paper.

"...Rocket did all of this...?" Ash whispered, shaking.

N sighed, "...I hate to say this, but you're one of the lucky ones... Blaze. Team Rocket's 'cleansing' has been going on for sometime now," Ash pushed the folder away from him, a sickening feeling taking root in his stomach. He looked back over the folders, grabbing one that wasn't labeled as a region.

"What do you mean that Blaze is a 'lucky one'?" Professor Oak's voice was quiet, focused on N.

N held his gaze with the professor, "I don't believe it's my place to say Blaze's story," N replied, "But I'm quite sure a professor like yourself can piece together the basics from what I've said."

Looker was watching N, "...You say that you've been looking into Team Rocket, N. But surely you're aware that Team Rocket activity has died down in the last five years?"

Ash snorted, "That's what they like us to think, isn't it?" Ash looked down at the folder he had picked up, reading the label with a tremble, "What is this?" He asked quietly.

"'Survivors'," A voice read over Ash's shoulder, and the teenager froze up. He jumped, head slamming into Brock's jaw as he leaned over Ash to take a look at the files N had. Brock let out a cry of pain as Ash scrambled across the bench, trying to get away from the Pokemon doctor. The folder fell back to the table, and Brock picked it up, giving 'Blaze' a strange look.

"Are you alright?" N asked, reaching for Ash, but paused as he drew back. When Ash said nothing, simply looking back at the folder in Brock's hands, N decided to answer the question, "It is what it says, that's a list of survivors of Team Rocket's targets. The only ones, as far as I know."

Brock flipped open the folder, pulling out one of only several sheets of paper. Unfortunately this was the only sheet with a list of names on it, "Only seven people?" Brock muttered, eyes flickering through the list, then suddenly he froze up. Brock's hand tightened, eyes narrowing. After a moment he managed to growl out, "Why is his name on here?"

N blinked, "Who?" He asked, but Ash knew exactly who Brock was talking about.

"A-ash," Brock snarled, causing everyone to look up and Ash to flinch.

N studied Brock for a moment, "Ash Ketchum? He is on there because he's a survivor of Team Rocket's attacks, several of them actually. Quite a remarkable young man."

"He's a murderer!" Brock snarled again, and Ash couldn't stop another flinch.

N simply smiled sadly at the raging man, "Yes, unfortunately a majority of the survivors are labeled as that. If Team Rocket can't pass a death off as an accident, someone else takes the blame. They're hauled off to jail, where they conveniently die, it amazes me what they are able to come up with. Unfortunately these people are just as much as victims are those who died," N looked away, "I do my best to try to meet most of them, but they are wary of most humans."

"Have you seen Ash?"

N's gaze went colder as Looker spoke. He looked at the agent for a moment, closing his eyes, "I'd prefer to lie with this question, but that is something Reshiram does not smile upon. So yes, Ash is one I have managed to make contact with while they run from Rocket."

"Run from the law," Brock growled, quivering. He locked eyes with N, "You've seen a criminal and didn't say a word to law enforcement?"

N smiled, "I believe I have said something to the law, Looker in an International Police agent, is he not? But no, I am not going to hand over any information about an innocent man to a corrupt organization," N looked back at Looker, "No offense Looker, I know you are a good man. I'm sure your intentions are good as well, those who guide you are not though."

Looker said nothing, looking down at his hands. A part of him appeared angry, perhaps at N's words, or at the fact his target had been in communication with someone. But another part of Looker seemed far off, eyes gleaming as if in thought.

"You've seen my son?"

Delia's voice was quiet, desperate. Ash turned to look at his mother, her eyes were filled with a desperate hope as she looked at N, voice begging for answers. N hesitated, eyes flickering towards Ash for just a moment, before settling on Delia again. N paused, choosing his next words carefully.

"...Yes, I have. It's been two years since I've seen him face to face though."

Ash pressed his lips together, realizing that N wasn't lying with this response- he couldn't see Ash's face now due to his hood.

Delia was on her feet, taking a step towards N, "Is he safe?!" She cried, and N hesitated, "Please! He's my son, he's the only family I have left!" Ash felt tears stinging his eyes at his mother's pleading, "Is my baby safe?!"

"Ma'am, he's alive," N said gently, and once more he hesitated, but avoided her question "He spoke very highly of you, Ms. Ketchum, he cares a lot about you."

"Please," She whispered, as if this wasn't enough, "My baby. I can't lose another baby. Is he safe? Where was he? Please!"

Professor Oak laid a hand on Delia's shoulder, "Please, Delia, sit down."

"No!" She tore herself out of his grip, "My baby, Samuel! I have to know! I don't care if you hate him! I have to know!"

Professor Oak blinked as he'd been struck, "Delia... I don't-"

She was already back to facing N though, tears slipping down her face as she looked at the only person she knew that had information about her son, "Please, he'd want you to tell me. Is he safe?"

N did his best not to look at Ash, clearly trying to decide what to tell her, "Ma'am," He finally said, "When I found your son he was nearly dead."

Delia froze up at this, hands shaking. Ash tightened his fists as he realized N decided to tell the plain and simple truth to Deila. His heart twisted as he saw the distress entering his mother's face.

"He had attempted to take shelter in the Sinnoh mountains, but Ash wasn't prepared for the climate, it was winter and-" N paused to think, "Well, he was exposed to the elements, snowed in, he had no way out. By the time me and Reshiram found him Ash was in the first stages of starvation. His whole body was covered in frostbite and he was just laying there. He had recalled all of his Pokemon to their Pokeballs for a few days earlier, saving them over himself."

Delia was hanging onto N's every word, tears pooling from her eyes as she shook.

"I brought him down from the mountains on Reshiram and did my best to help him recover," N looked away, "I was able to take all of his Pokemon except Charizard to a Pokemon Center to have them looked at, but Ash and Charizard could not be seen, I couldn't risk them being recognized. Ash did eventually make a recovery, but he wouldn't speak to me for the first week after he awoke. When he did he simply asked when I was going to turn him in."

"Oh Ashy..." Delia whispered, shaking harder.

N looked towards Ash, as if trying to decide if he was saying too much, but Ash didn't give N any sign to stop. Yes, he did want him to stop talking- but he wanted his mother to know what had happened to him. She deserved the knowledge that he was alive.

"I stayed with him into he was in the state to travel again," N finally said, shrugging, "Gave him supplies and information, then he headed south while I headed back to Unova."

Delia suddenly threw her arms around N, who recoiled at the sudden touch. Delia buried her head into his shoulder, sobbing as she whispered, "Thank you, thank you, thank you," Over and over. N gingerly placed an arm on the woman's back. After a moment she pulled away, quivering as she slowly processed what she had been told. Deila rocked back on her heels, still shaking like an aspen. She glanced down at the folders on the table, then looked back at N with a gulp, "W-why is his name h-here?" She whispered, "H-he's not... n-not involved with T-team R-rocket."

N frowned at her words. Brock was still clutching the folder labeled 'survivors', glaring at N like the words he were saying about Ash were poison, "Ma'am," N began, "I- I'm afraid he is... Everything that happened..." N trailed off as he caught sight Ash shaking his head slightly.

His mother deserved to know that he was alive, but she could not become involved.

She could not get hurt.

A strange feeling settled into Ash as he turned away N, mind racing as it thought on the names he had read. So many people dead... So many people targeted by Team Rocket... It was horrifying yet comforting to realize that he wasn't alone.

Between the many emotions that he had been juggling within the last twenty four hours, this new one was the only one that seemed to settle into him without a fight, as if it had always belonged within him. This one that wasn't wild and thrashing within his mind. It was calm and quiet, slipping in and out between the sorrow that torn at him and the anger than focused him. It took Ash a moment to recognize it- and to realize that this feeling was on he had been desiring for the longest time.

Since Ash had been on the run, he had been wanting to bring Team Rocket to justice, but now he realized that wasn't what he truly wanted. Fear had been driving him for too long- and justice would bring safety. But what would safety give to him? Running from Team Rocket had done nothing for him, Ash was beginning to realize. People still got hurt, people were still dying. Running and saving himself did nothing to change the past- it did nothing to Team Rocket. He could bring them to justice, he could try to clear his name, but that wouldn't change what he had gone through. That wouldn't save him from the pain in his heart.

Ash didn't want justice, he wanted vengeance.

It's been quite a while since we've seen N, hasn't it? And Elgyem... And Rotom, and he only was mentioned in this chapter...

I also wanted to thank you guys for over 400 followers on this story- thank you so much for the support!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!