The Fast and the McFurious
Summary: Desperate to find out what's inside the package that the ninja is carrying, McFist tries various ways to eliminate the ninja and get the package, but even with Viceroy's brilliant mind, this job is easier said than done.
Guests Starring: Danger Mouse, Penfold and Penfold's aunt from "Danger Mouse"
A/N: Got some help from Man of Cartoons
It was a rather fine day in Norrisville. Not once did crime rear its ugly head, nor did the sorcerer plan to stank depressed people. Everything might turn out to be a rather peaceful day for once.
But said day would have to wait a little longer. The fast movement of black and red left a trail of wind behind as it moves throughout the busy streets. We freeze here for a moment to realize that the black and red blur belongs to Norrisville's greatest hero, the ninja. In his hands was a carefully wrapped box.
Norrisville Ninja - Pure-hearted Randius Cunninghamus
It just so happens that the ninja was busy patrolling the streets, making sure the city is safe from evil while delivering a package to who knows where at 300 miles per hour. How he obtains such super speed is anyone's guess. Unbeknownst to him, someone's been watching the ninja from his office in McFist Industries. We see McFist spying on the ninja with the binoculars and beside him, Viceroy is seen drinking tea.
Hannibal McFist - Pawnus Sorcererus
Viceroy - Sciencus Sassus
With an evil grin drawn across his face, McFist orders Viceroy to stay put while he hurries off to chase the ninja. Something must be important inside the package and McFist will do whatever it takes to obtain it from the ninja. With a speed of light, McFist rushes out of McFist Industries and began chasing the ninja, almost catching up to him in such a fast pace.
Before he could get his hands on the ninja, the latter had taken off with a quick speed boost, leaving McFist stopping to a halt on the streets, amazed and confused at what he saw today.
"Young, man, get out of the streets unless you want to wound up in the hospital!"
McFist turns around and noticed a female hamster standing on the side-walks. She wore a rather much thick pair of glasses and it seems that she wore an outfit that's best worn on rich women back in the 80s - an oversized blue fur coat and a hat with a feather on it. McFist points at himself as if he thinks that the hamster lady is talking to him, giving her the impression of 'who, me?'
"Yes you with the robotic hand with a disgusting brain in it!" the female hamster replied again. "And look at the state of your clothes! Straighten your tie, and do something about that moustache of yours ..."
The hamster kept talking and talking that McFist retreats back to McFist Industries.
In his office, McFist growled and stomped like a spoiled brat with Viceroy only watching him as he drinks his cup of tea. Suddenly, McFist has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea.
()()()()()
In the not-so-busy streets, a line of Grave Puncher games stood tall like dominos on the road. The ninja had stopped running when he noticed a Grave Puncher game lying around the street.
It was the newest installement of the game that is yet to be released.
Something tells the ninja that this might be a trap set up by one of his enemies, maybe McFist perhaps.
But what the heck? A free game is a free game. Even if it's not released yet.
The ninja bends down and picks up a Grave Puncher game, but as he got up, he saw another Grave Puncher game, also a yet-to-be-released new installment. Howard would be thrilled when he gets his own copy of it. But as he grabs the second one, there's another one, also yet to be released. What is this? An endless line of free copies?
Oh well. The more, the merrier is what any kid would say in a situation like this.
So as the ninja picks up the copies one by one, he didn't noticed that the line of copies would lead him to McFist Industries where at the end of the line was a cage hanging above the very last copy of Grave Puncher. The cage was being held by McFist via rope. By the time the ninja grabbed the last copy, McFist releases the rope which causes the cage to fall down onto the ninja, trapping him in the process.
McFist jumped up and down with excitement! He had done it! He had captured the ninja!
But his excitement sank down as the bars of the cage began to loosen and before McFist knew it, all but four steel bars tumbled down onto the floor. The ninja indirectly gives McFist a smug and escapes at a fast speed.
Back to the drawing board.
()()()()()
Hiding in the lone alleyway, McFist hold out a metal tureen, hoping that the ninja would crash into it and take the package from him. McFist knew that this plan should be foolproof. As he hears the sound of the fast-moving ninja coming closer, McFist knew the time had come. Grabbing the tureen, McFist was certain that the ninja will have it. As the zoom came closer, McFist held the tureen out to the road just as he heard a short screech.
But ... where's the crashing noise?
McFist peers out. To his surprise, the ninja had stopped dead in his tracks, inches away from the tureen. Before McFist knew it, the ninja turned around and ran away from McFist at 300 miles per hour.
Enraged, McFist throws the tureen down and gives chase. But just as he was about to dash away, the ninja came back, picks up the tureen and holds it out. McFist was too late. He had fallen into his own trap.
Every part of his body was shaking madly whilst the ninja made his dashing escape.
()()()()()
After his body stops shaking from his last attempt, McFist had ordered Viceroy to build a McBoomerang which has been built within minutes.
When Viceroy was finished building a McBoomerang, McFist hurried off to the blazing desert, several long miles away from the city.
This plan of McFist's was simple. He would throw the McBoomerang in the ninja's direction. When it comes back, it would circle around the ninja and put him out of commission while McFist grabs the package and see what's inside it. The McBoomerang felt weighted and of high-quality, something McFist had expected from Viceroy. To make sure the plan would work, McFist gives the McBoomerang a good toss.
However, he failed to noticed that a black and red boomerang came and hit him in the face, circling down his body until it hit the ground. McFist turns around and was shocked that the boomerang came from the ninja who was staring at him, an opened box of a boomerang right beside him. McFist failed to noticed the smirk behind the ninja's mask as the latter makes his escape. Enraged, McFist prepares to run after the ninja when the McBoomerang flew and hit him and circled down in the same way as the ninja's.
McFist knew that they, the Australians, weren't kidding when they say that boomerangs are guaranteed to return.
()()()()()
Standing on top of a huge cliff, McFist has balanced a giant boulder over the edge. Viceroy looks over the blueprint to assess the plan. McFist would pull out a key stone, which is the only object stabilizing the boulder, The boulder would then fall onto the nnja and save McFist the trouble of getting the superpowers of his choosing and finding out what's inside the package.
McFist checks the telescope and after a few seconds, he saw the ninja heading right this way. McFist was at the rope attached to the key stone in a flash and he gives it a good tug, which sends the key stone rushing out.
McFist grins as the boulder tipped and shake, but his grin quickly disappears as the boulder fell right on top of him. How is that even possible?
()()()()()
Hiding behind a boulder, McFist had laid out a lasso in the middle of the road. Once the ninja comes this way, McFist will trap him. As he hears the sound of the fast-moving ninja coming closer, McFist knew the time had come. As the sound came closer, McFist pulled the rope.
Unfortunately for him, the ninja moved too fast and missed the lasso. To add insult to injury, McFist quickly fell off a cliff and falls to his apparent doom. Fortunately for him, the lasso grab hold of a boulder that saved his life, inches away from the ground. McFist tugs the rope, but it made the boulder fall off of the edge and fell right on top of him.
Ouch.
()()()()()
This time, McFist does something simple as Viceroy just stand by and drink his cup of tea. A pile of dynamite in the road in which McFist would detonate as the ninja got close. McFist was off at a distance with a plunger detonator, ready to let the ninja have it and get the package. As the ninja got close, McFist readied himself and firmly push the plunger down.
He heard a satisfying BOOM!
Did he get the ninja?
Nope. The detonator exploded right at McFist's face, leaving a pile of dynamite unscratched and the ninja unharmed as he zipped away.
McFist could only growl as Viceroy could only continue drinking tea. He would have to double check his inventions once they get back at McFist Industries.
()()()()()
Viceroy builds a steel wall in the middle of the road in which by having McFist pull the lever should the steel wall be activated.
On cue, the ninja is heading this way. Thinking quickly, McFist pulls the lever. But the steel wall didn't pop up from the road and the ninja quickly ran through it.
Both McFist and Viceroy thought it was jammed, so they abandoned it and carry on to the next plan.
()()()()()
The ninja kept on running through the desert at 300 miles per hour with a package still in hand. As he runs, he noticed a small, timid, brown hamster who wore thick round glasses and a crumpled blue suit with a white shirt and a yellow and black striped tie. The ninja quickly ran up to the hamster, the package still in tow.
"Finally you came, ninja. My name's Ernest Penfold, but you can call me Penfold." the hamster, Penfold spoke to the ninja as the ninja gives Penfold the package. "Cor, the chief will be happy to see this once I get back home."
The ninja was a little confused. He was instructed to meet with a white mouse who wore a white suit and an eyepatch over his left eye at the rendezvous. Where is that mouse?
"In case you're wondering why I'm here at the rendezvous instead of Danger Mouse like he was supposed to, turns out he's being coming down with a terrible flu last night." Penfold explains Danger Mouse's absence to the ninja. "He still wants to meet you at the rendezvous despite the flu, but I told DM that he needed a week's worth of rest if he wants to save the world from that terrible toad, Baron Silas Grennback, so I insisted on meeting you at the rendezvous instead and deliver the package to him back in England."
The ninja nods. Now he knows why Danger Mouse couldn't make it.
"Anyway, DM have asked me to give you this." Penfold pulls out a folder from his coat and gives it to the ninja.
The folder reads Top Secret in red font.
"Colonel K has instructed DM to bring that top secret folder to K.C. Cooper immediately, but since DM's gone down with the flu, you'll have to give it to K.C. instead. Colonel K wants her to know about this." Penfold told the ninja. "Whatever you do, ninja, do not let that top secret folder fall into the wrong hands, especially if it's in the hands of that terrible toad!"
The ninja nods as he place the top secret folder inside his arsenal and leaves Penfold in a speed of light.
"Oh crumbs, I do hope he gets it to K.C. in time." Penfold cried. "This desert has eyes and ears, y'know. Oh ick, anyone could have notice that by now ..."
And that's where Penfold was right. Just above Penfold on a huge cliff, McFist had seen everything through his binoculars with Viceroy still drinking tea from behind.
Forget the package that Penfold currently has right now. It's the top secret folder that McFist wants to obtain from the ninja instead.
()()()()()
McFist had started painting over the white strip of the road, easing off it after a distance. He keeps painting that stripe all the wall through the desert until it reaches a tall wall of a rock. Grabbing some paint, McFist styles the wall to look just like a tunnel through the other side.
Once finished, McFist and Viceroy retreat behind a boulder just in time to hear the sound of running coming towards him. The ninja's heading this way.
McFist is expecting to hear a splat any minute now.
Unfortunately there was no splat, shocking both McFist and Viceroy.
They couldn't believe it. The ninja had broken natural laws by running into the painting and ending up on the other side. Viceroy thought it was impossible to do so.
Enraged, McFist decided to see if he could go through the painting. It was the only way to get the ninja and the top secret folder. He steps back and speeds off, only for him to faceplant the wall. He steps over to the left lane of his 'road', wondering how things could get worse.
He found his answer.
A truck drove through the fake tunnel and ran the gazillionaire over.
()()()()()
At the edge of a huge cliff, McFist was ready to crush the ninja with a huge boulder. With his strength, McFist rolls the boulder towards the edge, but as he gets closer to the edge, the edge had broken off. By the time McFist had finally pushed the boulder off the falling edge, the boulder falls upwards, only above McFist. He panicked as he makes a run for it in mid-air.
The broken edge landing in the middle of a rounded boulder like a see-saw. McFist eventually lands on one end of the edge as the falling boulder lands on the other end. Its weight caused the other end of the edge to rise up, causing McFist to fly head-first into the bottom of another edge of a cliff and land back down his end of the edge, causing the other end to send the heavy boulder fly off of its end and land on top of McFist.
Ouch.
()()()()()
Standing at at huge cliff, McFist aimed his rifle (hooked onto a telescope) at the moving ninja. Then, he heard a huge screech from behind.
McFist turned around and saw the ninja standing behind him.
This was his chance. McFist rotates the rifle to where it now aims at the ninja. Before he could open fire, McFist had a sinking feeling that there's nothing under him. Within seconds, he was falling.
This time, McFist has a smug look at his face. Viceroy had placed a trampoline under McFist in case he falls again. He would have expected to bounce right back up again, but as he came closer to the trampoline, he fell right through it, tearing a hole on the trampoline. Viceroy sighs as he continues to drink his tea as the ninja makes his getaway.
()()()()()
The ninja stands near the edge of a huge cliff, overseeing the desert. Across from him was a smaller cliff where McFist stood.
Below the ninja and McFist was a trampoline. McFist is guaranteed that this plan will work. He jumps off the cliff and falls into the trampoline.
Instead of bouncing right back up and grab hold of the ninja, by the time McFist hits the trampoline, the white sheet wraps around McFist as the strings that binds the sheet to the poles traps him inside.
()()()()()
McFist places a large boulder inside a large catapult and waits for the ninja to pass by. With a rope in his hand, as soon as the ninja pass by, he will release the pole that holds the boulder in its place and the ninja will get what's coming to him.
Right on cue, the ninja came by. This was McFist's cue to put his plan in action.
He pulls the rope and is expecting the catapult to throw the boulder into the ninja's direction.
But the catapult didn't budge and the boulder landed on him instead.
()()()()()
This time, Viceroy builds a pair of super rocket boots which will enable McFist to run as fast as the ninja.
This time, he will get the ninja and the top secret folder.
As soon as McFist puts on the rocket boots, he took off at 300 miles per hour. He saw the ninja running and decided to give a long chase, catching up to him within seconds.
This is it.
He's finally going to catch the ninja.
He will finally know what's inside the folder. He might even use it to help the sorcerer take over the world.
The ninja ran passed a jammed steel wall and before McFist knows it, the steel wall finally activates, stopping him dead in his tracks.
So NOW the steel wall's activated as well as ninja proof?! What the juice is wrong with his plans?
()()()()()
After a long run in the desert, the ninja heads off to K.C.'s Military Antiques Shop where he noticed that the store was empty. He opens the door as quietly as possible, making sure no one is watching.
Once inside, the ninja starts running upstairs to where K.C's apartment is. When he got there, he saw K.C. sitting on a couch with her legs crossed and her body was wrapped up in a soft, large blanket. Her nose seems runny, her scrawny body is aching a little and her eyes are tired as stiff. She lets out a loud sneeze before noticing the ninja who had already taken off the mask and went back into Randy Cunningham.
"Had troubles delivering the package to Danger Mouse?" K.C.'s voice was as soggy as a frog. "ACHOO!"
"Danger Mouse was sick so I met up with Penfold instead." Randy, for the first time in this chapter, spoke. He hands K.C. the top secret folder. "Also, he wants me to give you this."
K.C. opens the folder and pulls out what's inside the top secret folder. Inside was the blueprints to some sort of secret weapon.
"I see." K.C. muttered while reading the blueprints. She sneezed again. "As soon as I get better, I'll get to work on that."
K.C. puts the blueprints back inside the folder. "So how did it go with the gadget I made for you last night?"
"Oh this?" Randy pulls his shirt up a little to reveal a red belt with a yellow lightning buckle in the middle. "It was so bruce!"
"Should be. I designed it to give you super speed upon wearing it."
Once more, K.C. sneezed.
"Y'know the funny thing about this day?" Randy asked K.C.
"What would that be?" K.C. asked.
"Throughout the day, it feels like I've been watched like some sort of prey. As if this chapter was a Roadrunner/Coyote parody or something."
"Probably means nothing." K.C. smirks as she drinks a cup of coffee. "ACHOO!"
()()()()()
Extra Scene:
London, England ...
Penfold had returned home from Norrisville with the package in his hand. As he got to HQ, he noticed that the place was deserted.
"ACHOO!"
He knew that the one place Danger Mouse would be in a time like this would be his own room.
"Cor, chief. I hope you feel better soon." Penfold said to Danger Mouse who is currently in bed. A pile of tissues is seen on the left side of the bed. "Wouldn't want the colonel to see you like this when you're off saving the world again now, do we?"
Danger Mouse groaned as he sits up.
"Shall I get you a nice cup of tea to make things better for you?" Penfold asked.
"It's alright, Penfold." Danger Mouse replied. "I've already had a cup of tea fifteen minutes ago. While it did help me feel a little better than earlier, it would take time for the flu to completely wear off."
Penfold gives Danger Mouse the package.
"Any troubles delivering the top secret folder to the ninja?" Danger Mouse asked Penfold as he opens the package. "I've noticed that K.C. have also come down with the flu earlier today."
"Oh it was nothing, chief." Penfold replied.
Danger Mouse simply nods as he looks at what's inside the package. It was a small picture frame with a picture in it. In the picture was him when he was 14 years old. His younger self still wears an eyepatch over his left eye. His younger self wore a pair of blue jeans, a black shirt over a large, greyish-blue jacket and a pair of red sneakers. Beside his younger self was a female, beige cat who has a lovely pair of aqua blue eyes, a beauty mark below her left eye and a curly bang that hangs over her left eye. She wore a magenta boatneck shirt under a yellow bandanna, a pair of black leggings and a pair of white, oversized sneakers.
"Is that ... Fifi?" Penfold asked Danger Mouse who simply nods.
The young cat in the picture, Fifi, had her arms wrapped around the teenage Danger Mouse who gave her a genuine smile. Forgetting about the flu, Danger Mouse couldn't help but feel happy about the picture.
It had reminded him of the good times when he was simply a teenager.