Disclaimer: Dragonball Z has a hole just for it made in the Amigara Fault. Also, it does not belong to me.

EVERY TIME YOU SUBMIT A CASE REQUEST TO NED THE JANITOR THROUGH A PM, A PRISON RAPE ENDS IN HAPPY LIFELONG MARRIAGE. THANK YOU.

(Today's Case: Goku, upon learning what his name translates to in English, is suing AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA for calling him a skinny orange vegetable. It was a slow day in fictional court cases, as you can tell.

Plaintiff: Goku

Defendant: AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA)

"All rise for Gumby." Android 18 told a baffled audience that still stood up.

Contrary to what 18 said to the audience, it was a baffled Justin who came through the double doors and sat at the podium as opposed to the angular-headed green claymation dude that most people nowadays probably discover through Mystery Science Theater.

"Okay, 18, what the fuck?" Justin questioned his bailiff. "I mean, I know I've called you boring before, but that was a little bit more absurd than I bargained for."

"I lost a bet. Now I have to refer to everyone as Gumby for the whole day."

Justin snorted and shook his head at the bailiff's predicament. "That is a retarded thing to use in a bet."

"I know that! Don't blame me, blame Gumby, my husband."

Justin sighed, already impatient. "What's the case?"

"Well, Gumby, it looks like Gumby is suing Gumby for-"

"Give me the fucking piece of paper."

18 gave Gum- I mean, Justin, the case. Which was on a paper made of diamonds. For his consideration.

"GOKU? Suing his creater, AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA, for a bad name?" Justin stood up deliberately, righteous indignation burning in his blue eyes like two World Trade Centers (that's right you mother fuckers i went there). "THIS-", Justin slapped the paper down onto the podium in front of him, "will not stand! Send the jerk and the defendant in!"

Goku and AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA walked into the court and seated themselves at their respective desks, eyeing the wrathful judge as he turned to his left to look at Goku.

"Goku... how could you?" Justin asked gently to the narrow asshole who once was the savior of the universe. "You have been given power and glory by this man, and you turn it against him? For shame!"

"He named me Carrot, judge, Carrot!" Goku glared over at AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA with as angry a look as he could possibly force. "I am not a carrot! I have arms and legs, my skin is white, I have bones and organs, I have a brain and a soul! Do you see carrots with halos all floating around in the afterlife, training under the Kais or causing carrot mischief in the HFIL? No! I rest my case, Your Honor!"

"How stupid of you. AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA, your response?"

He shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Justin put his hand to his chin. "'It seemed like a good idea at the time...' Words of poetry, AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA, I must say."

"Thanks. I have a phD, you know."

Justin gasped. "I don't even know what that IS and I almost shat my pants."

"Uh, Gumby..."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Yes, bailiff bet-loser?"

"You did shit your pants." 18 said, clutching her nose.

Justin craned his neck to look at the ass of his robe. Indeed, there was a brown stain noticeable under the cloth. "Bollocks! I guess I'll have to end this now before things get even shittier. What is your opinion, jury?"

"Not guilty," said Puar.

"Guilty," said Oolong.

"Guilty," said Chiaotzu.

Justin's face went red. "OOLONG! CHIAOTZU! What is going on here?"

"I'm not Oolong, I'm OoSHORT! I know how Goku feels! Besides, I've known Goku all my life, and only once did he ever try to eat me." Oolong began to tear up, his voice got quieter and he looked over to his friend. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't stand beside him, Gumby?"

"That's JUSTIN, you pig cock! Besides, you are named after a tea in Japan! Just when I thought you couldn't get any more fucking stupid!" Justin ranted, clenching the gavel tight in his fist. Oolong whimpered. "Please don't beat me up!"

"I won't hit you with my gavel, that is way more effort than I am willing to expend for the likes of you. Still, I oughta fire you." Justin turned his wrath to the clown-looking fellow two seats down who also voted guilty. "Chiaotzu, explain yourself."

"I hate being a midget clown and mime hybrid," Chiaotzu shrugged. "You would be voting guilty too if you were a minor character who blew himself up for nothing

"...Okay, you get a free pass on that. Anyway, I sentence AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA to have a Ferrari made out of 100 dollar bills delivered to my house by the end of the week, which is today."

"I'll have it there before nightfall." AKIRA HOLYASSCRACKERS TORIYAMA said casually over his shoulder as he left the court with at least a hundred bitches hanging off each arm.

"Hey, Gumby, he didn't say you could leave!" 18 called after him.

"Ssh, 18. He gets a pass."

"But, Gumby, you-"

"Sshh" Justin put his finger to his lips before turning to the courtroom and banging his gavel down hard. "CASE CLOSED! I'm going to go learn how to speak rape-nese! EVERYONE LEAVE!"

THE END