Story Title: Eat My Soul
Rating: T for Teen
Genre: Romance/Drama/Action/Slice-of-Life
Synopsis: Maka's mission is to transfer to Shibusen Academy in order to find the whereabouts of an Evil soul. But the thing is…it's an all-boy's school.
Chapter Thirty Six
My Pink and Blue Forget-Me-Not!
On Wednesday morning, Kid and I didn't wake up to go to school. We each prepared in silence, and when we walked out the house, our black clothes showed exactly how we felt.
It was Black Star's funeral.
I breathed in the frosty winter air. I wasn't sure if my body was already cold or not but…I didn't feel anything. It was as if all feelings in my body just disappeared. I looked at the sky.
The morning sun looked rather dull today.
More dull than usual.
"It's been a while since we've walked together alone," said Kid quietly. He didn't look at me as he spoke.
"Mm…" I mumbled. My mouth didn't seem to be working.
"Black Star will be happy," he continued. "Everyone's thinking of him only."
Black Star…huh.
That was right.
Everyone was thinking about him.
Especially Tsubaki.
My heart and stomach twisted every time I remembered how she cried out Black Star's name.
Kid sighed at my silence and patted my head. "It'll be okay, Maka."
"Mm…."
We walked in silence the rest of the way to the graveyard.
When we arrived, we found Liz and Patty standing a few feet away from Black Star's tombstone. They were watching something.
"Liz, Patty, why are you two all the way over here?" asked Kid.
They put their fingers to their mouths and then pointed to the person standing over in the distance.
It was Tsubaki.
She was standing over Black Star's open casket. I didn't think she was crying. For some reason, I just thought that. Tsubaki was wearing all black and she had worn her hair up, though in a different, more formal style. In her hair was a flower, a tsubaki…a camellia.
She looked beautiful.
She was talking to Black Star but because I was so far from them, I couldn't hear what she said. She was smiling.
She was touching Black Star's cheek, still talking as if he could hear her, still smiling as if he would smile back at her….
"She's been here since early this morning," explained Liz.
"I'm worried about Tsubaki…." Patty was calmer than usual today, probably to give Tsubaki some space.
Kid looked at the scene in the distance, an unreadable expression in his eyes.
What was he thinking?
He began walking toward Tsubaki. "Let's go. We wouldn't want to keep Black Star waiting."
Liz and Patty patted my shoulder reassuringly and followed after their Meister.
I stood where I was.
A cool winter wind brushed past my face, rustling my hair and my clothes.
I didn't like being in graveyards.
I didn't like seeing tombstones.
I didn't like mourning.
Because they all reminded me of the past.
They reminded me of them.
I closed my eyes.
And when I opened them, the world was completely black, as if I was stuck in a dark room. I heard a metal switch being turned on and then instantly after that, a giant, heavy spot light ignited on top of me.
I was here again.
I looked down at myself.
Sure enough, I was a little girl again, my hair in pigtails and tied in my favorite ribbons. I was also wearing my favorite dress from the past.
Sure enough, I was here again.
I waited for the next switch to turn on, and sure enough, it did.
And sure enough, I felt someone's presence behind me.
"Papa's very glad you've decided to visit."
Another switch, another spotlight.
"Mama's missed you so much."
The two people standing behind me, in their own spot light, made me feel uneasy. They made me feel somehow weak, powerless. I looked down at my feet.
"I haven't fulfilled my selfish wish yet," I said quietly, my eyes low. "I haven't done anything yet."
"You've come back to mama and papa," said the man.
"We're sorry we can't visit you as much," said the woman.
"I haven't done anything yet," I whispered.
"Maka, we're sorry for what we did." The man's voice was quiet, almost as if he was about to cry.
"We're sorry for what we made you see." The woman was quiet as well.
"What I…saw?" I thought back to that night.
I thought back to that winter's night.
I was walking with mama and papa after watching a play, holding their hands. They were holding my hands too. And then…suddenly…they told me they couldn't be together anymore.
At that time, I didn't understand.
All I knew was that I wouldn't see them both together anymore.
But why…?
Didn't they love each other?
Was work that important?
I didn't understand at all.
So I ran away.
I ran away from the two people I loved most because of my selfish wish of wanting to be together with them until the end.
And then they ran after me.
And then I was in the middle of the street.
And a car was coming.
And suddenly, I wasn't on the street anymore.
But mama and papa were. They were sprawled on the ground, their bodies looking cracked and twisted and smashed. Mama was on one end of the street while papa had flown toward the other side. Parts of them laid everywhere.
"They're bleeding."
Blood everywhere.
"Their blood won't stop coming out."
Blood on my clothes.
"Is someone there?"
Blood on my face.
"Can…can someone help me fix this?"
Blood on my scarf.
I had run away from the scene.
I looked up in the darkness that even my spotlight couldn't illuminate. "Ah. That's what happened. I…I ran away. I ran away from their bodies. After they died because of me…I ran away."
I kept running and running and running…
Until I didn't even know where I was anymore.
I looked down at my clothes and saw red everywhere.
And then I kept running. All I knew was that if I stopped running, bad things would happen.
I would get in trouble. I would have to answer to mama and papa would try to calm her down like usual.
But why weren't they coming after me?
Were they really that hurt?
Hey…mama…papa…why aren't you here yet?
I want to be found already.
I kept running.
Until….
"Ow!"
"Aah!"
I had crashed into someone. We both bounced off of each other and landed in opposite directions. I was sitting on the cold snow now, and the little boy was on his back.
The boy was wearing a scarf like me, though his was red.
A really bright, pretty red.
The boy sat up and glared at me. I knew he was angry that I had bumped into him.
"Hey! Watch where you're…." He stopped. I think it was because I was crying.
"I-I-I…" I gasped, wiping my eyes. "I-I'm sorry…! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
Why was I crying?
I didn't even know.
It was too hard to understand.
I didn't understand my feelings at all.
I was still a kid…what could I do?
"Why're you crying? Did it hurt that much?" The boy got up and stood before me, looking down at me. "H-hey…."
"I-I'm so sorry…mama…papa…." I sniffed loudly and wouldn't look up.
"H-hey! I'm talking to you!" the boy shouted, his anger snapping.
I squeaked in surprise and finally looked up. "E-eh?"
"Why're you crying? Is something hurting you?"
"N-no…I don't think s-so."
"…Hey." The boy knelt down and touched my scarf. "Why's your scarf so dirty?"
I burst out in tears and he jerked his hand away, looking thoroughly confused.
"What's with you! Why'd you start crying all of a sudden?"
"M-m-mama and p-papa…they're…they're…that's their…b-blood!" I burst out, crying even harder now.
"Your mom and dad…?"
I couldn't even answer now. I was crying so hard it felt as if the world be drowned in my tears. Winter never felt so cold.
"Hey you. Close your eyes and shut up for a minute," the boy suddenly ordered.
"W-what?"
"Ah? Do you want me to punch you?"
"N-no!" I said quickly.
"Then close your eyes and shut up."
"W-what are you going to do?"
"Uh, i-it's just something to make you feel better," he said hesitantly.
I stared at him through my fuzzy eyes. He glared at me again and said, "Why aren't your eyes closed!"
"Y-yes! Right!" I shut my eyes tightly.
"Hey…"
"Hm…?"
"Where were you going?"
"Um…" I didn't know why, but I lied to the boy. "I was going to play with some of my friends."
"Is that right?" The boy didn't seem to notice my lie. "What the heck is this?" He plucked something off my scarf. I was about to open my eyes to look at it but she shouted at me to not open my eyes. "Just keep them shut," he ordered.
"O-okay…" I sniffed.
And then he plucked something off my scarf yet again. What was he doing?
"Seriously, your scarf is really dirty. Don't you wash it? There's snow everywhere."
"I-I wash it!" I said, blushing.
"No you don't. If you did, then why's there so much snow on it? Look, the real color's coming back."
Suddenly, he tugged my scarf and threw it off my neck. My skin prickled from the cold but I kept my eyes closed.
"H-hey! What…what are you doing to my scarf! Give it back!" I cried.
"Not until it's clean," he said adamantly.
I heard him flap my scarf around, rustling, the crunch of snow, and then….
He wrapped it back around my neck, though he did it very messy like. It hung loosely around me.
"You can open your eyes now," he said, and I did.
I looked down at my scarf and gasped. "H-hey! This isn't my scarf!" It wasn't. The scarf I was wearing was all red, just like the boy's. I looked at him and saw that he was wearing a white one with red spots all over…kind of like mine before he had done something to it.
He raised his chin at me. "Hah? Are you saying that I stole your scarf? All I did was brush out the snow. See? Look." He pointed at my scarf. "Your scarf's original color is red. You just had a bunch of white snow on it, that's why you thought the red spots were blood."
"So then how did you scarf change color?"
"Ah! Um…! W-when I was brushing off the snow on your scarf…t-they got on mine instead! Yeah! That's right! This is totally my scarf! I didn't s-switch ours or anything!"
"Ah…then, let me help take out the snow…" I reached out but he backed away.
"No!" he shouted. "This is my scarf! I don't want a girl touching it!"
"W-what!" I narrowed my eyes at him. "But you touched my scarf! This isn't fair!"
"What family you're born into isn't fair either so don't complain. Hey…"
"What?"
"Where's my thanks? I just helped you, right?"
I blinked.
He was right.
I was feeling better now.
…How did he do that?
"T-thank you!" I shouted.
"What the…! Why do you have you scream at my face when you do it! Shorty! Little kid!"
"Y-you're a little kid too so there!"
"I hope I never meet a girl like you ever again, ungrateful brat!" he yelled.
"Me too! You're mean even though you helped me!" I said back.
"Then let's stay as far away as possible from each other!"
"Yeah! I'll go to an all-girl's school so that I'll never meet you again!"
"And I'll go to an all-boy's school so that I'll never meet you again! And you better not try to get in either!"
"W-why would I want to go to a boy's school!"
"I dunno! You're weird!"
"T-that's not a real answer!"
"Yes it is!"
"Grrr…! Stupid!"
We stuck out our tongues at each other and then we both ran in opposite directions, never looking back.
It didn't occur to me that my red scarf smelled a little different than usual.
Had I always had a red scarf? Had it really just been snow that made it white?
Or was it….
"…ka…Ma…ka…"
I could barely hear. Was someone calling me?
"Maka!"
I snapped back to reality.
Liz and Patty were in front of me, looking worried. They had been shaking my shoulders.
"Maka, what's wrong?" asked Patty.
"…Huh?" My head was spinning.
"You weren't answering us. Were you thinking about something?" said Liz.
"Thinking? I…I think I was."
"What? You think?"
"I'm fine." I smiled at them. "Thanks Liz, Patty. Really, I'm fine."
"Well, all right…" Liz said reluctantly. "We'll be with Kid so come over soon, okay?" The two sisters left me and made their way past several white tombstones over to Black Star's. I watched them arrive next to Kid who was looking down at Black Star.
I didn't want to look anywhere else because there were two more people resting in this place that I didn't want to see yet. Even though I haven't visited them in years, I still knew exactly where they were and what was written on their pearl white tombstone.
I was scared to see them so I didn't look anywhere else.
When would I be ready to face them?
Mama and papa…when would I be ready to apologize to you two?
Though…they couldn't hear me anymore.
Or talk to me anymore.
I wondered what I sought by avoiding them.
I wondered what I sought by apologizing to their graves.
What did I really want from them?
They were dead.
They couldn't give me anything.
So what was I doing?
Really?
"Just what am I doing?" I sighed. "Soul…I wish you were here."
I went to Black Star's grave. When I got there, I hugged Tsubaki, trying to give her all my feelings because I knew that whatever I said wouldn't be enough to convey what I and everyone else felt. Liz and Patty joined in, and we all prayed in silence for Tsubaki to get through this, to live through this, and maybe someday, to move on.
Though right now, we just wanted her to cry for Black Star.
But she wasn't. She wasn't crying at all. She looked as if part of her life had been sucked out of her eyes but in place of her loss was a new kind of power, a new kind of courage and will that ignited her soul.
She was probably the strongest she's ever been at this moment.
I looked down at Black Star's face and his body. I had tried my best to seal up his wound by using what I knew about soul healing but there was still a large scar running across his chest when I was finished. For today, he was clothed in a black suit.
He looked rather peaceful.
I wondered if he would wake up if I poked him on the cheek.
"It's time," said Kid. The priest had arrived, looking somber and consoling. Behind him were the people who would be lowering the casket into the ground.
It was time to bury Black Star.
Tsubaki took one last look at her former Meister. Her eyes looked ready to overflow with tears but none did. From her hair, she pulled out her camellia blossom, kissed it, and then wrapped Black Star's hands over it.
Finally, she closed the lid on the casket and walked back to us. Kid, Liz, and Patty stood on one side of the hole in front of Black Star's tombstone while Tsubaki and I stood on the other side. The men hoisted the casket from the ground and gently, slowly, began lowering it deep into the hole until it touched the bottom.
The priest began talking though I didn't hear a word he said.
I was thinking about Black Star.
I wondered how he felt about this, seeing his friends mourn over his death in solemn silence. I wondered if he was enjoying the attention.
Probably.
I suddenly couldn't suppress a grin.
He was always a funny guy. A bit too obnoxious, though. Perverted as well. Though he did have his good points. He was…
He was loyal.
Brave.
Honest.
A good friend….
A strong person.
Had his heart in the right place.
Never asked me to change in any way because he was weird like that.
Always jumped to conclusions.
Always ate everything on his plate, except carrots because he thought they were bland.
Always let me sleep with the lights on if I was scared even though it made him unable to sleep.
I remembered one time he tried to read some of my books because he thought it'd allow us to connect with each other on a deeper level…though he gave up after reading the title of my easiest one.
Black Star….
He cared about his friends and called Soul, Kid and I his family.
Funny how I never truly thanked him for that.
And now here he was. Six feet underground. Unable to hear me and talk to me. Unable to look at me and answer my questions. Unable to ask me questions, unable to answer questions. Unable to do anything anymore.
I watched the men in front of me pile dirt inside the hole where Black Star lay.
Here he was.
Here he was.
Here he was.
The priest finished talking, gave us a long look of understanding, and began walking away. I caught up to him before he left.
"Excuse me."
"Yes, my dear?" He looked at me. He was an old man, very wrinkly as if each year of his life had been carved right onto his face and hands. But he looked kind.
"Thank you for being here today. I think you made him happy just by talking about him…."
He smiled at me, his eyes creasing and looking old and sympathetic, and I suddenly wanted to burst out crying. "It's a funny thing, death. You never know when it's going to come but you end up knowing anyway at the critical moment when faced between living and dying, or choosing between protecting something or saving yourself. Your friend knew this. That is why he is happy today. Not because everyone here mourns for him, but because he knew his path…and he took it."
"It's just that…it happened so suddenly…I wasn't prepared for it."
"Yes…death likes doing that to us, unfortunately."
I couldn't find anything to say to that so I just stayed quiet.
The priest looked up toward the sky. "Life is too short," he sighed. "It's when you get older when you realize all the things you could have done in your childhood that would have mattered…that would have made a difference whether in you or in someone else. But rather regret…you behind to understand about the situations that happened to you in the past. You begin to understand the people's situation, what they felt during that time, what you felt as well, and why you chose your current path. Being able to understand your past is what makes us realize our mistakes and hopefully, repent for our sins. That is why we live every day: to have no regrets." He paused to look at me.
"I hope," he started slowly, "that when you look back on this day…you'll remember the sunshine, the clouds, the smell of cold air, and most importantly: your friends' laughter. And when you do, you'll be thankful you chose to move on from this moment rather than live forever in it."
"Because we have to live every day…in order to have no regrets?" I said, smiling.
"That is correct," he nodded.
I thanked him and we parted ways, though I looked after his slowly disappearing figure before moving on from the moment.
"Tsubaki?" I said, stopping next to her. She looked at me. "We understand if…you don't want to fight tomorrow…."
She shook her head. "No…I will fight. Black Star wouldn't have expected any less of me…than to continue fighting, even if he isn't here anymore." She looked at the white stone with Black Star's name carved into it.
I looked at the others. They were holding lilies, ready to place them down to Black Star.
A parting gift…huh.
I wondered…what my last gift to Black Star was.
When I thought about it…I realized…
I never actually gave him anything for all the time we've known each other.
…What was wrong with me?
He was my best friend and yet I couldn't even remember if I had given him anything before he left.
I have a lot of regrets right now.
So many, I don't even know how I lived to see this day.
Does that just mean…I need to live a little longer…
In order to understand this feeling?
In order to understand this situation I was trapped in?
Did I need to live a little longer?
So that when I'm older, I'll be able to understand what happened today?
And then live a better life than now?
Was that it?
Was it?
But right now…I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep in darkness.
Just sleep away the sadness.
Sleep…and nothing else.
I looked at my friends. Liz was silently crying, Patty was wiping her eyes and sniffing, Kid never took his eyes off Black Star's grave, and Tsubaki was looking up at the sky.
I wondered if…to her…the sky looked dull.
I looked up.
And my eyes widened.
Huh.
I wondered why the colors decided to come out at this moment.
It was as if the world suddenly shifted like when a photographer would adjust his camera's lens in order to make something fuzzy or clear.
And then I knew, as if I had known all along, that I would wake up tomorrow like usual, but the person who was usually found snoring on the other bed wouldn't be there anymore. Knowing that was going to be the norm from now on terrified me and also made me incredibly, uncontrollably sad.
Tomorrow…
Tomorrow…I'll get back up and the day after that, I'll be glad I got up, and the day after that, I'll be glad I remembered that I still have friends, and the day after that and all those days after those…
I think I'll be glad that I decided to move on from this moment rather than live forever in it.
Because really, we live each day in order to have no regrets.
Even if…we didn't really realize that.
Black Star…I wonder if you can see us right now? It's been rather lonely without you. I never realized just how quiet the house gets when you're not there.
Liz sniffed and mentally prepared herself for the gifts, sucking in cold, winter air and blinking hard and fast to let out the few remaining tears. Patty steeled her face and held hands with her sister. Kid patted Tsubaki on the shoulder and she smiled at him. And then….
They laid down flowers at his grave but...I left him his green lantern.
Well, it was more of a cheap, green flashlight that could be bought at any corner store but Black Star and I had always liked imagining it was a lantern.
Tsubaki didn't move. She had already given Black Star her final gift, and Black Star was holding onto it right now, six feet underground.
Our gifts lay against the white stone, the white lilies quietly moving back and forth along with the wind.
A lily from Kid.
A lily from Liz.
A lily from Patty.
A green flashlight from me.
And a camellia from Tsubaki.
Those were our gifts to Black Star.
We all hugged each other tightly and after what felt like forever standing over Black Star's grave and feeling loss and uncertain about the future…we left for home.
"Maka," said Tsubaki quietly.
"Hm?"
"I know you have a mission to fulfill but…" she kept her gaze straight ahead, "I'll be the one who kills Loki. No matter what…I'll be the one who kills him."
Patty told us she didn't want to go home yet so we went out to eat, though because I my mind was overflowing with thoughts about Black Star, the Evil soul, and about tomorrow, I didn't even know what I ordered until our food came. Apparently I had ordered a fizzy pink and blue drink called Forget-Me-Not that blew out bubbles. It came in a tall thin glass with a neon orange straw and a tiny blue parasol.
…What the heck?
I stared at it.
"Maka, you gotta drink it!" laughed Patty as soon as the waitress plopped it down in front of me.
"What? No way! Who knows what's in there!" I said, looking at the glass as if it had dangerous viruses and diseases.
"Excuse me! What's in that drink?" asked Patty to the waitress.
The waitress smiled and gave us a long list of ingredients such as strawberries from a faraway land, cherries from the restaurant's own garden, sodas, and I distinctly heard: "And as celebration for the new year, a splash of sweetened alcohol!"
And then she left me feeling very, very scared.
I never had alcohol before and knew that I wasn't a drinker. Why? Because my parents had scared me into thinking bad things would happen if I even came near a bottle of wine or alcohol. I was older now and knew better but…still…it was scary just knowing something that could overtake your thinking abilities was right there in front of me.
"M-maybe I should ask them to take it back…" I suggested meekly, pushing the glass away from me.
"Yes, I think that's the best choice," agreed Tsubaki.
"Where'd the waitress go?" Liz looked over heads that were lowered over their plates of food.
Suddenly, Patty was reaching across the table and chugging the liquid contents of the glass into my mouth. "Drink it, fool!" she ordered, her eyes gleaming maniacally.
"Patty!" shouted Kid in alarm and he and Liz pulled her away from me. The glass cup dropped and rolled across the table and Tsubaki caught it before it fell. I saw that it was completely empty and that I wasn't thirsty anymore.
…Uh oh.
"P-Patty! What the heck d-do you thin' you' doin'…?" I hiccupped and suddenly couldn't focus my attention on any one thing anymore. I still knew what was going on around me but everything seemed very, very far away from reach. "H-hey…you guys… why ar' you all sittin' so far…far away fro' me…"
I heard Kid shouting though his voice seemed strangely muffled in my ears.
"Patty! Maka's never had sweetened alcohol before! What were you thinking!" Kid yelled angrily, rounding on his Weapon. "And you! You're her sister! Why didn't you stop her!"
"I can't read the future, idiot!" said Liz.
"Maka! Maka! Can you hear me?" Patty waved her hands and smiled at me. "That looks like fun! Hey, let me order one too, big sis!"
"No! You're both too young and Patty, you get scary when you're drunk. Remember last Christmas when you drank forty glasses of sweetened alcohol? You broke all the windows at school and almost burned down Meister Dorms!" Liz said, trying to hold down her younger sister from standing up to call on the waitress.
"Oh, yeah! That was fun!" laughed Patty.
"N-no it wasn't!" I said, rubbing my forehead. "W-we all had to…had to clean up aft' you!"
"Maka, are you all right? Do you want some water?" Tsubaki pushed her cup of water to me and I took it even though I wasn't thirsty. Or maybe I was and just didn't realize it because I was feeling a bit tipsy. Well, at least now I knew I couldn't hold my alcohol.
"Y-yeah…thanks." I sipped some of the cold water. It felt refreshing. And then I splashed the remaining contents onto my face. I think I did that because I thought it'd clear my head. It did a little, though Kid looked at me in horror.
"Maka, what are you doing!" he said, grabbing the nearest napkin and wiping my face dry.
"Huh?" I looked at him, barely able to see him. I knew my face was red from the little pink drink Patty had forced me to drink. "Isn't tha' wha' everyon' does…? When they're d-drunk?"
"Not in the way you did it," he sighed. "Patty, apologize to Maka right now."
"Eheh…sorry, Maka!" Patty lightly pressed her fist against her cheek.
"Are you going to be okay?" asked Kid, looking over me worriedly.
I think I said something along the lines of, "I'll be fine," because we all ate brunch, laughed, talked, and then suddenly, I didn't know how, but I was outside in the cold, walking next to Kid. I looked around.
"Where ar' the others?"
"Huh?" Kid looked at me in surprise. "They left right after we got kicked out of the restaurant."
"W-what! We g-got kicked out?"
He sighed irritably. "Yes. Patty ended up secretly ordering another of those Forget-Me-Not drinks and went on a rampage through the place until the owner came out and told us we had to leave."
"Is that what—" I hiccupped "—ha-happened?"
"Maka…are you sure you're able to walk on your own?"
"I'm fine! I'm fine! Aaahh, today was fun! Black Star, you suck for missing out on all the fun! Bad time to die!" I laughed merrily. Kid was rubbing his eyes.
"I think we should go home and you should rest," he said.
I began running forward, not really knowing where I was going and laughing my head off. I felt so free and light! "Am I really awake? I thought we could only fly in dreams!" I started walking backwards, smiling at Kid and my arms wide out. This was so much fun! Why had I never experienced this kind of lightness until now?
I didn't know or understand why, but Kid suddenly looked scared and shouted, "Maka, watch out!"
"H-huh?" I turned around and at that same moment, my face pressed against something soft, kind of like cotton shirts, and I smelled something incredibly familiar.
It reminded me of the beach and…something else.
Fireworks?
No, that wasn't it….
But my forehead began prickling as if something hot had been pressed against it.
I looked up and saw that I had bumped into a boy though because I was so wobbly and light headed I couldn't really make out who he was.
"W-who're yo'…?" I mumbled, pushing him away and almost tripping over myself.
And then Kid grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him, looking alarmed and angry. "Why are you here?" I looked over his shoulder but still couldn't make out the other boy's face.
"I'm not here to attack," said the boy, "I'm just here to say good bye."
"To Black Star?"
"I already did. I wanted to say good bye to her."
I blinked. Was that boy talking about me?
I walked out from behind Kid and wobbled over to the boy. "H-hey…do I know you?"
The boy looked between me and Kid. "What's wrong with her?" he demanded.
"She drank sweetened alcohol," Kid explained.
"W-what! How could you let her drink! Hasn't it occurred to you that she's not that kind of girl!"
"Keep shouting the word 'girl' and soon everyone in Shibusen will find out Maka's secret."
The boy became still and silent for a moment. And then he took my hand and started walking away with me in tow.
"H-hey…where're we going? No…I don't want to go with a stranger…" I said weakly.
"Hah? I'm not a stranger, stupid! You know who I am!"
"…Benny?"
I had no idea where that name came from.
It just popped into my head all of a sudden.
The boy's hold on my hand faltered as if he couldn't believe how stupid or how drunk I was but then he cleared his throat and took my hand again. "Fine. I'm Benny. Whatever makes you happy."
"Oh, so you're Benny," I said smiling. "The priest told me about you!"
"What priest?"
"…Huh? What are you talkin' 'bout? I don't know anyone named Heath…."
"Augh! Just shut up. You're making me lose my cool." Benny looked back at Kid. "I'm taking her home."
"And then what?" shouted Kid. "After you've taken her home, where do you plan on going? Back to that Evil?"
Benny didn't say anything.
"We both know you're stronger than he is so why are you still playing the role of damsel in distress?" said Kid.
"You wouldn't understand…there are too many things at stake if I don't go back."
"Then we'll bring you back by force if we have to. Or we'll simply kill Loki."
"He's stronger than he looks…"
"I already know that! He took my powers from me! Why do you think I want him dead? If he dies then my powers return, and then I'll be able to fulfill my role as future Shinigami for father. If he dies, then you'll return…and Maka will stop looking sad."
"Maka…"
"Yes?" I tilted my head at Benny.
"Maka deserves someone better than me. She probably doesn't even like me—OW!"
Kid had thrown a small rock to Benny's head. "I won't tell you why I did that because right now, I hate you more than anyone else in this world." He looked ready to fight against Benny, his eyes burning with rage.
"What the hell's wrong with you!" shouted Benny.
"What's wrong with me? The question is: what is wrong with you. You know that Maka is strong. She's the strongest person we both have ever met. If she fights against Loki, she'll find a way to win. What is it going to take for you come back to us? If you don't come back, Maka will think that you've made your decision to stay with Loki—"
Suddenly, Kid's eyes widened, a look of horror on his face. Benny's face was like steel, unmoving, showing no emotion. The two didn't say anything but they didn't need to in order to make the other understand his thoughts.
"You get it now?" asked Benny softly.
"But why?" said Kid, gripping his fists. "Why?"
"Because this is the only way for me to repent."
I hiccupped, breaking the boy's intense moment. "Repent? Oh! T-That's what Heath said!" I said happily. I wobbled and almost fell but Benny grabbed my shoulders and righted me. "Heath said to…live to next year in the moment so that regrets won' come knockin' on yer coffin!"
"But…if you're in a coffin…you're already dead so regrets won't even matter anymore," said Benny, his eye twitching.
I shook my head. "Huh? Tha's no' what I said!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," he dismissed me quickly. "Kid, this doesn't leave you and me. I guess I should be thankful this idiot can't recognize me. …I'm taking her home."
Kid watched us leave. We were too far away now so I couldn't see the expression he was making as we left. I wanted to know why Kid wasn't following us so I grabbed Benny's arm and hugged it tightly. "H-hey! Why isn't K-Kid following us?"
"Gah! Don't do that!" Benny's face flushed and he pushed me away which caused me to stumble. I almost fell but he reacted quickly and pulled on my wrist, wrapping me in an almost-embrace. "S-sorry."
"Is something…wron'?" I asked, unsure why I was feeling nervous and why my stomach was doing twists and turns.
"You're what's wrong," he sighed, pulling me away and getting on his knees, his back facing me. "Come on. I'll carry you home. You're too drunk to even walk straight—Gah!" I had jumped on his back, rubbing my cheeks against his neck and grinning ear to ear. He sighed but I saw him smile at me before hoisting me up and continuing down the path toward home.
Benny's back was broad and strong. I wasn't worried at all about falling or if I was too heavy. It just felt right being here with him.
"Benny…" I breathed into his ear.
He jerked to a stop but then continued walking. "D-don't do that!" he yelled. "You scared me…." He said that but his ears had turned red as if he was embarrassed.
"Sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes and resting my head against his back. "It's just…you reminded me of someone I know…."
"…Who's that?"
"Oh…his name's…" I suddenly found myself unable to say his name. I tried to say it, but then it'd get caught in my throat and fall back down into my stomach.
"Are you going to tell me his name or not?"
"I don't understand," I mumbled.
"Huh? Are you still talking about the same thing?"
"I don't understand…why he did that…"
"Did what?"
"Back at the beach…he kissed my forehead. I don't know why he did that and I'm too scared to ask him why…."
"…Maybe he did that because he wanted to kiss you. And missed," he added with self-loathing.
"Why?"
"Maybe because…" he paused; I think he was trying to find the right words or the right answer, "he likes you."
I felt my heart skip a beat.
"Why?" I asked quietly.
"Don't ask me why," he said. "He probably just does."
"What's there to like about me?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yeah. I really, really, really want to know because someone like him don' go for a gir' like me."
Benny sighed. "Well, he probably likes how you're a strong person, you're loyal, you care about your friends…he probably likes how you freak out whenever one of your favorite books' sequel comes out, how he can never fully understand how your weird mind works and that half of time you're talking to him he's thinking how he can get you off guard so that he can see a new face, a new expression on you. He probably likes how you hold in your tears but for him, you can cry.
He probably likes you because whenever you show up in a white summer dress, surprising him completely because he's so used to seeing you as a boy, he can't stop thinking how pretty you look and how much he can't believe that someone like you, someone who's kind and stubborn and mean and so courageous can be with him, saying his name and calling him your partner.
He probably likes you because he can't stop thinking about how lame he was for getting scared at the last minute and kissing your forehead instead of your lips.
He probably likes you because you put your entire faith and trust in him even though he knows that he's a bastard who always lies and cheats to get his way. You only see the good in him, and even when you see the bad, you accept him anyway…for all that he is.
That's probably why he likes you."
"Really?" I could only sputter out that single word after hearing something so heartwarming and sweet.
"Probably," he said, shrugging.
I smiled and breathed in, and then breathed out.
I was carried home like that with nothing but the thumping of my heart to hum along to.
I was getting really drowsy now but the squeaking of door hinges told me that we had arrived home. I had my eyes closed and I was only half-awake but I could feel myself being lifted and gently placed into bed. I used my last remaining strength to open my eyes.
Benny was standing over me, looking at me.
I could barely make out his face.
"I don't think those two mirrors would've liked seeing you drunk," he said to himself, pulling my blankets over me.
"What'r' you talking…about?" I said sheepishly.
"Nothing. Just go to sleep." He tucked me in and then sighed, touching my cheek lightly.
"Benny," I said.
"What?"
"I want him back..." God, I was crying now. I knew how pathetic I must have looked but I just couldn't do anything to not cry. "I want him back...! I want him to come back. Why did he have to go? He's so stupid... And he decided to leave when the winter ball was coming, too! I...I really w-wanted to dance with him! Only him! I wanted t-to dance with him b-because h-he's my partner and I..." I sniffed. "It's only been a few days since he's left and I miss him like crazy...! I want him to come back...I want to see him again." I probably would have never said these words out loud if I wasn't intoxicated. "I want Soul to come back home...!"
"It was probably a bad idea for me to do this." Benny wiped my tears away with his finger.
I couldn't ask him what he was talking about. I was so tired even though I was crying.
"Being this close to you, and seeing you cry, makes me not want to leave. Geez…what's wrong with me? The day I decided to be honest and tell you my feelings was the day Loki decided to show himself. What bad timing. And…Black Star's gone, huh? I went to visit him today, after everyone left. I saw the lilies and the flashlight. I don't know why there was a flashlight there but…it's Black Star. I wouldn't have expected anything less weird…."
His voice trembled and he stopped talking for a minute.
"Maka…I'm sorry."
And then he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. His touch felt familiar and my skin tingled.
"I'm sorry, Maka, but…I just want you to know that I've always, probably, since a long time ago, I've always—"
And then, in the darkness of the room with only my small table lamp as a source of light, and with the window being pounded by the incoming snow storm, and with the white moon rising in the sky, his lips lowered, and we were face to face, and he was getting closer and closer, and then…
We kissed.
Next Time on Eat My Soul!
"If Loki wants me to die, I'll die. If Loki wants me to fight, I'll fight. Everything I do is for him who created me."
Author's Note: So it turns out it wasn't Kid who attacks Maka but Soul. This entire chapter wasn't like how I had planned it to be at all. But...I guess I still like the result. And I wasn't even supposed to update. But I did anyway. There are only four more chapters left to EMS. I wonder what's going to happen at the end? Wait. Why am I asking you guys?
I forgot to mention in the last chapter that I'm a fan of horror but oddly enough, I don't know that many horror books or movies or animes. I don't know why. I like horror because you get a rush of adrenaline when you get scared, like when you're going down a roller coaster. I love amusement parks! But the truth is...I'm a big coward at heart. Anyway. When I read your guys' reviews, I thought to myself, "Huh. And to think I was going to kill off Kid instead."I don't think I would've been very popular if I had done that, but then again, I've angered a lot of you guys by killing off Black Star. Kekekekekeke, who shall I kill off next? Mwahahahaha -shot-
Thanks for reading Eat My Soul! I'll see you all in the next chapter! :D
[EDIT]: Remember kiddies, do not drink or smoke EVER. They make you see monsters and bad things in general.