Thank you guys for being so patient on this chapter. Life has been crazy hectic lately and while I've been writing away, it hasnt been getting typed so I will be doing a little at a time. This is more a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Chapter 37

Bailey

Two weeks had passed and somehow I had managed to avoid Luke's calls and texts. Not replying had been insanely hard, but I couldn't let myself do it. It killed me and I felt awful for it but it was something that had to be done. I was doing okay until that one voicemail that pulled and tugged at my heart strings.

"Boo please, I'm sorry for everything if that's what you need to hear. I'm sorry for the barn, for the next day, for all of it! Your letter, I've read it everyday since you left and I just... damn it Bailey, I can't stop thinking about you! I had the boys this weekend and they asked about you constantly. Your name was like a knife, cutting me. I miss you, I miss my friend. Look, shows start up next week. Just come okay? One. One show. I'll leave a ticket until you take it. We have to talk face to face. I can't push these damn feelings back. I've tried, done nothing but try, and they won't disappear. If you succeeded in that, don't come out, but if you're where I'm at, just come. Be honest with the mirror if you can't be with me."

He was right, even if I hated that fact. The feelings that had come from nowhere wouldn't go away. God above knew I had tried to sweep them under the rug and ignore them and else to make them disappear. Hell, maybe I should just go to a show. I would just buy my own ticket, he'd never know I was there, I thought as I pulled out my laptop and pulled up his tour dates. He had a Tampa show next week. The beach sounded wonderful right now. There were still a good bit of tickets left for just one, so I clicked best available and buy without a second glance for the seating location.I scheduled a will call pick up and closed the laptop with a heavy sigh, leaning back on the bed and getting lost in thought.

A week later I found myself packing my bags and loading up my truck. I was looking forward to the seventy five to eighty degree weather that was waiting in Tampa, packing swim suits brought a smile. It was going to be so nice not being cold and just dipping my toes in the ocean, relaxing in the sand. I could come back nice and tanned, refreshed and rejuvenated from the funk that always found me in Georgia. A week at the beach, yes, yes that was just what the doctor had ordered. Locking up my little house, I tossed my last bag into the truck and climbed behind the wheel. Tampa was going to be wonderful, even if the drive was going to be long and lonely.

It was ten o'clock the next morning when I pulled into the parking lot of my hotel. I'd caught a few hours of sleep on the way down at some hole in the wall budget inn somewhere in south Georgia so I was fairly well rested. I checked in and took the key that the clerk handed me and headed to my ground floor room. I had a balcony that was practically in the sand. As I entered the room I could see the sun through the ceiling to floor, vertical, wooden blinds and walked over and opened then up. I had a nice screened in porch deck that allowed beach access with one step down. I walked into the bedroom and unloaded a swim suit, slipping into it and grabbing my sunglasses, a book, suntan oil, and a towel. I turned and headed out the door, ready to get my feet into the sand.

The sand was warm under my feet, soft yet coarse. I sat my towel down and oiled up, then I lay down to read and soak up the sun. The sun on my skin was warm, comforting, like an old blanket. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore, kids laughing, parents calling out, it all made up the most wonderful day I could dream of. I lay there, intending to read and instead I just listened to the world around me and soaked it all in.

I did that for the next hour in the warm 80 degree weather. I'd relish the breezes rolling in off the ocean, letting them cool my skin where I lay. I had my shades on, my eyes closed, but still I felt the shadow that fell over me, saw it somehow. I slowly eased my eyelids up, bracing against the harsh sunlight with my hand, and stared straight up at Luke. I had to fight not to groan out loud. I had done so well at avoiding him, but I guess I couldn't do that anymore.

"Luke, you're here already. The show isn't for two more days."

He shrugged his tanned, muscled shoulders, flashed a boyishly crooked grin at me and crossed his arms over his bare chest. "It's the beach, I came early to soak it all up, and then I was out here walking and came across the most beautiful woman I've laid eyes on. The beach faded away," he said, his voice fading to a whisper as he spoke.

I saw him kneeling down and I scrambled to get up. "Oh um, yeah, well I was just getting ready to head in."

"Bailey, you're a horrible liar. Is this how it's going to be between us now? Are you really going to avoid me forever?"

I shook my head as I grabbed up my book and tanning oil. I reached for my towel and said, avoiding eye contact, "It's not like that Luke, I'm not avoiding you."

"Was it so bad, those days of being with me? Those days when it was more than friends? Is it so hard for you to admit that a straight friendship isn't gonna work anymore? That maybe, just maybe, we have crossed some line in that friendship that says we're more than JUST FRIENDS?"

There was a plea almost in his voice. "STOP IT LUKE! You're married! You have kids! You have a family and I cannot and will not ruin that!" I spun and walked as quickly as I could toward the hotel. It was hard to make a graceful exit with the soft sand kept giving way beneath my feet.

"Bailey stop," he called out behind didn't ruin it! It was ruined before you even came around we just kept ignoring that fact! Please, please don't just walk away!"

I could hear his voice breaking as he called to me, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't turn to him because if I did, if I saw his tears, I would lose all of my will to stay away. If I turned to him now I would surely crumble. I kept walking, feeling a strange ache in my chest, an ache that felt empty and painful all at once. I had to find a way to shake him, a way to get him out of my head. We had the most amazing friendship. We laughed and talked about everything, best friends in every sense of the term. Only now I wanted his arms around me and his lips on mine, kissing me senseless.

I sucked in air as I entered my hotel room and slid the door closed behind me. I could feel the tears rolling down my face when the cold air conditioning hit me. I went to my bedroom and threw myself face down on my bed, crying into the pillow. Why was he affecting me this way? Why would his damn face not leave my mind? More importantly, why would he not get out of my heart?