Arizona wrapped her hands around the cold railing that overlooked the Puget Sound. Ever since she had watched the heart monitor in her OR flat line, the only thing that had brought her the slightest bit of comfort was water. It was cleansing, it washed things away. And right now, Arizona needed a lot of things to be washed away.

She lifted her head and took a deep breath, the smell of the salt water filling her senses. She looked up at the night sky and all the stars and tried to remember the beauty in the world, but at that moment, she was having a very hard time doing that.

She had been going over every second of the surgery. Every cut, every move, every decision. She still hadn't been able to make sense of what had happened. Everyone around her was telling her that she had done nothing wrong, that this wasn't her fault. But if this wasn't her fault, then why did she feel like this? Why did she feel like she failed? Not only that family but also that child. And life's little cruelties had to sweep in and kick Arizona while she was down. Because somehow, in this great vast world in which they lived, that child had been the nephew of Callie's ex-girlfriend.

That was the furthest thing from Arizona's mind at the moment though, because as Owen had said, a child is dead. She couldn't focus on anything but that.

She wrapped her jacket tighter around her body and looked at her watch. She was surprised when she realized she had been standing there for three hours. To her it had only felt like three minutes. She pulled out her cell only to realize that her battery was dead. The perfect end to what had been one of the worst days of her life.

She started walking to her car so she could start the long drive home, but as she approached the parking lot, she began to realize that she didn't want to go home. She should go home. Alex was waiting for her and Callie was waiting for her. But in that moment, she didn't want to do something for the benefit of other people. She wanted to do something to benefit herself. She wanted to be selfish. So she turned in the opposite direction and walked across the street to the bar, determined to wash away the events of the day.

Alex and Callie had driven to every place in Seattle that they could think of, but they hadn't gotten any closer to finding Arizona. Her phone was either off or dead because every time Callie attempted to call her, it went straight to voicemail. She had filled her inbox with messages, hoping that her phone wasn't dead and she would receive one of them.

"Something's wrong Alex. Damn it, why did I finish my shift? I should have just left."

"This isn't your fault Callie. I should have waited and taken her home. I didn't even to think to ask if you were finished with work or not."

"Where is she? I'm so scared…this is not like her. Where could she be?"

Arizona sat down and looked around the seedy joint she had stepped into. She was the only female in sight. Gruff looking old men were scattered around the room, drinking beer and talking loudly. She motioned to the bar tender and he walked over to take her order.

"You lost or something?" he asked, clearly noticing that she was out of place.

"Something like that," Arizona responded. "I need a drink. Something strong. Surprise me."

"You got it," he said as he turned around and prepared her drink. He set down a glass containing a brown colored liquid in front of her. As she reached for her purse, he held up his hand. "It's on the house."

"Thank you," she said, as she took a gulp of the drink. She didn't know what it was, she just knew it was bitter and that quite frankly it tasted awful. But it was awful in a good way. In a way that made her forget.

"So what demons are haunting you tonight?" the bartender asked, as if it was any of his business.

"Excuse me?" Arizona asked.

"I'm sorry if that was forward but someone like you doesn't stumble into a place like this unless they have some serious stuff going on. You don't have to talk about it. Why would you? I'm a complete stranger."

"Yes you are so if you don't mind, I'd like to enjoy my drink in peace," she said.

"Yes ma'am," he said as he threw a towel over his shoulder and walked away.

"Maybe we should check the dock. She goes there to think sometimes. She could be there," Callie said, now past the point of panic.

"We've been looking for two hours Callie. She could be back at the house for all we know. Maybe it's time we just go home."

"Please Alex," she pleaded. "If she's not there, we'll go back. It's one more stop…please."

Alex sighed and put the car in reverse. "One more stop won't hurt."

They arrived at the street that ran parallel to the dock and slowly drove down it, looking for any sign of life along the dark railing.

"It's almost midnight Callie. No one is out here. Let's go back to the house. Even if she's not there, we can regroup and figure out what to do next."

Callie swallowed back her tears and nodded her head. "You're right. We should go back."

Alex began to pick up speed in order to head home when a lone car in a parking lot caught his eye.

"Is that her car?" he said.

"What? Where?" Callie asked, craning her neck to see if she could spot it as well.

"Right there, in that parking lot."

Callie squinted her eyes trying to make out the make and model in the dim light.

"I think it is," she said.

They pulled into the lot and stopped right next to the car. Callie hurried up to it but was only met with disappointment when she saw that it was empty. The vehicle was definitely Arizona's though. Sofia's car seat was strapped in the back.

"Maybe we missed her," Alex said.

"She's gotta be around here somewhere," Callie replied.

Alex looked over at the cold, icy water located not that far away.

"You don't think…" he started to say.

"Don't even say it Alex," Callie said, cutting him off. "She would never do that to Sofia. To me."

"I know. I'm sorry I just…where is she Callie?"

Callie's eyes scanned the street. She knew Arizona better than anybody. Where would she have been drawn to at a time like this?

Her eyes stopped on a bright red, flashing neon sign that simply said "BAR".

"You wanna get a drink Alex?" she asked.

"Uh no…I want to find Arizona," he replied.

She looked at him and pointed to the bar just a little ways down the street. His mind quickly caught up to hers and he grabbed her arm.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go."

"Have you ever played darts in your life? Because you're awful," Arizona slurred, as she picked up her fifth drink of the night and slammed it back.

"You best watch yourself lady," the man standing next to her said. "That's Big Ed and he doesn't like being talked down to."

"Pfft…Big Ed," Arizona chuckled. "He doesn't scare me."

The bartender walked over to the group and put his hand on Arizona's shoulder.

"Everything okay over here?" he asked.

"Yep. We're just watching Big Ed suck it up at darts," Arizona replied.

Big Ed walked over to the bartender and clenched his fists. "If she wasn't a lady I swear I'd…"

"Don't let the fact that I'm a lady stop you. Let's go. I'm a military kid. I know how to fight," Arizona said.

"Listen lady, you're getting in over your head here," the bartender warned her.

"Back off man," she grumbled, pushing him away. "I'm serious, give me your best shot."

"Welp...you asked for it," Big Ed said, as he pulled his arm back and threw a punch.

Callie and Alex walked into the bar and immediately heard yelling.

"You asked for it," Callie heard a gruff voice say before she saw a flash of blonde dodge a punch and then throw a mean right hook.

"What in the hell?" she heard Alex say as he took off at a sprint toward the ruckus.

"She punched me. She freaking punched me!" Big Ed said in disbelief, as he wiped the blood off his lip.

Alex quickly wrapped his arms around Arizona and pulled her back.

"Do you know this lady?" the bartender asked.

"She's my friend," Alex replied. "I'm taking her home."

"You better get her out of here!" Big Ed yelled. "Before I call the police and press charges."

"Oh you started it!" Arizona yelled back.

"That's enough out of you," Alex said, as he wrapped one arm around her back and the other under her legs, picking her up off the floor.

The three made their way outside and Callie took a good look at Arizona. She was clearly drunk off her ass but she also looked broken and that split Callie's heart in two.

Alex gently placed her in the back seat of Callie's car and rolled down the window in case she decided to throw up. Callie crawled in next to her and pulled Arizona tight against her.

"Arizona…what were you thinking?" she asked. "Those guys were twice your size."

"They started it Calliope. I swear," she slurred.

"Let's just get you home," Callie whispered, placing a soft kiss against her temple.

"Yeah…home," Arizona mumbled, as she rested her head on Callie's shoulder and let the darkness overtake her.

I apologize for this chapter being a little later than usual. I have been switching between second and third shift at my job and it is kicking my ass! I had several people request an update asap and I promise I am getting them to you as soon as I can. Hopefully once my schedule slows down a little bit, I can manage a few more double update days. I am so flattered that you are invested in this story enough that you want another chapter so badly! Thank you so much for all your kind words and encouragement and I hope that you enjoy :)

A/N: I also had someone ask if this story is always going to be rated T or if it will switch to M. Honestly, I don't know. This is my first time writing a fic so I haven't taken a crack at writing steamy scenes before. That doesn't mean I won't try, but if I feel that I can't do it justice, I likely won't a publish a chapter containing that material because I don't want it to take away from the story. So I'm not saying it will never be upgraded to M, but I can't make any promises either. I'm sorry if that doesn't really answer your question but there you have it. Thank you for reading and I hope you continue to follow me on this journey!