Chapter 37: It Had to Happen Sometime
Once again, Ryouga glanced back at his team. Specifically, at Sakura. When the girl had initially disappeared, he hadn't been able to find her with the Hiraishin. He'd assumed that meant she didn't have the special seal-crafted kunai he'd given her with her. That theory had fallen apart when she summoned him back with the aforementioned kunai roughly half an hour later. So if she had had the kunai with her, why couldn't he find her with the Hiraishin?
Unfortunately, no answer seemed to be forthcoming, and short of actually asking the girl about it, he had no real way of finding out. Shrugging off his concerns for the time being, Ryouga turned back to his team. "Come on!" he called to his genin team as they trailed behind him. "You can go faster than that! Move it, move it!" A series of groans answered him, but the trio of genin obligingly sped up. "We've got to hurry if we're going to make up for lost time. We've only got a week to get there, and we're behind schedule." In all honesty, the mission's destination wasn't even two days' travel from Konoha, but Ryouga didn't know that.
"About that," said Sakura. "Where the heck are we going anyway?"
"We're going to meet up with another ninja from Konoha. We're on a delivery mission, remember."
"No, I mean where are we meeting this ninja at?"
Ryouga started to answer, then paused and, not bothering to stop, began digging through a side-pocket in his pack. After a second, he produced a scroll and began unrolling it, much to the concern of the three genin following him. "Let's see... We're going to-"
A sudden splash cut off his words, and Ryouga's eyes widened in alarm. Leaping backwards out of the puddle he'd just stepped in, Ryouga started swinging his leg wildly while running through a series of seals, then took a deep breath. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" A massive blast of flames engulfed his leg, as well as most of his immediate surroundings as the genin of Team Five dived wildly away from the blast.
Immediately, Ryouga began patting his leg to put out the remaining flames, only to belatedly remember that he had been wearing waterproof clothing to avoid just this kind of incident. Which was also, fortunately, fire-resistant.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT!" yelled Naruto and Sakura, only to be cut off by a cry of alarm.
"Our mission scroll!" cried Negi, pointing to a small flame near the puddle Ryouga had just stepped in. Sure enough, the end of the scroll could be seen sticking out of it.
Ryouga stared at the burning scroll, an ashamed expression on his face. After a moment, he sheepishly commented, "I'm... pretty sure that we'll arrive at the meeting point if we just keep going east along this path."
"East?" asked Negi. "But we're going north."
"And we left from the south gate, anyway," added Sakura.
A long, uncomfortable silence filled the air, and Ryouga, feeling increasingly foolish, desperately sought a change in topic. "...So, who's up for some training?" he asked.
"Ryouga, you idiot!" yelled Naruto.
0o0o0
After a long, frustrating 2 hours of training that utterly failed to distract anyone from the fact that they were apparently lost in the middle of nowhere with no idea where they even supposed to be going, Ryouga called a break for lunch. After untying Naruto from his suspended torture bag/bakusai tenketsu training harness and lowering him back to the ground, Ryouga set about making a cooking fire while two of his genin mostly just watched and grumbled and Negi collected extra firewood.
After a few minutes of watching Ryouga mess around with sticks instead of just blasting the firewood with a fire jutsu (as Naruto now knew he could), a very, very irritated Naruto lost his patience. "Just blast the damn wood with a fire jutsu, already!"
Ryouga looked up in surprise. A considering look passed his face, then he shrugged. "Okay. It'll be faster than this, anyway." Reaching to the side, Ryouga grabbed his pack and tossed it several feet behind him.
If he had been thinking clearly, Naruto might have recognized this warning sign for what it was. Sakura certainly did, as she immediately started backing up. Unfortunately, Naruto was mentally exhausted from spending the past two hours repeatedly slamming against a boulder while trying to poke it with his finger, and Sakura neglected to warn Naruto.
Running through a few handseals, Ryouga took a deep breath.
"NARUTO," yelled a voice from the nearby forest, but Negi was cut off before he could do anything other than call Naruto's name.
"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"
Desperately, Negi dashed forward to save Naruto, but he was too far away. I'm not going to make it! he thought as his panicked mind searched for a solution. And found one. "Flans Exarmatio!"
Naruto could do little more than stare as a wave of fire roared toward him. And suddenly parted, revealing a large, Pac-Man-shaped section of scorched earth, a merrily burning campfire, and a very naked Ryouga. "GAH! Sensei, what the hell?!"
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking," admitted Ryouga sheepishly. "Are you okay, Naru-you're naked!"
"No, you're naked!" replied Naruto. "Your clothes! You burned off your clothes!"
"No, my clothes are fireproof. I burned off your-" started Ryouga, only to realize he was indeed naked as well. "OH CRAP, I BURNED OFF MY CLOTHES!"
"WAIT, I'M NAKED TOO!" wailed Naruto, quickly covering his bits.
"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" cried Negi.
"I'VE GOT MORE CLOTHING IN MY PACK!" yelled Ryouga.
"THEN GO GET IT!" demanded Naruto.
"I'M GOING!"
"I'M SORRY," repeated Negi.
"WHY ARE YOU SORRY?!" yelled Naruto.
"BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE NAKED!" explained Negi.
"WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT! JUST LOOK AWAY WHILE WE GET DRESSED!"
"OKAY! I WILL!"
"THANKS!"
"I'M SORRY!"
Wrapped up as Negi, Naruto, and Ryouga were in the latter two's sudden, inexplicable nudity, the trio missed Sakura staring slack-jawed, white as a sheet, tears in her eyes, and pointing a trembling hand at Negi. "AAAUUUUUGH!"
"WE GET IT ALREADY, WE'RE NAKED!"
Sakura's only response was a loud thump as she passed out backwards onto the ground and started twitching.
"What was that?" asked Naruto, quickly turning to the source of the noise. "SENSEI, YOU MADE SAKURA FAINT IN HORROR BY LOOKING AT US NAKED! WHAT THE HELL?!"
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO BURN OFF OUR CLOTHES! IT JUST SORT OF HAPPENED! AND ANYWAY I'LL BE DRESSED IN A SECOND! WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! NARUTO! GET SOMETHING TO WEAR OUT OF YOUR OWN PACK!"
"I'M SORRY!" said Negi.
The sound of rustling cloth could be heard while Ryouga got dressed. A sound matched by Naruto as he began digging a spare outfit out of his own pack. In the meantime, Negi checked on Sakura. After all, she was an unconscious girl, and a proper gentleman like himself would never leave an unconscious girl laying on the ground without checking on her. Even if she was scary and violent.
For a moment, Negi considered just poking her with a stick to see if she groaned. He even had one at the ready with his staff. But in the end, he actually checked on her properly, checking for a pulse, her breathing, then moving on to checking for less immediate signs of her impending demise such as bleeding stab wounds or an extremely high temperature. Failing to find any of those, Negi searched for a pillow to place her head on. Being in the middle of the wilderness, there weren't any convenient pillows forthcoming, so in the end, Negi awkwardly set Sakura back where she had fallen.
"Wait a minute," said Ryouga from next to his pack.
"What is-" Naruto started, already mostly dressed, only to cut off as he realized something more immediately important. "SENSEI, YOU'RE STILL NAKED!"
"I've got underwear on! Anyways, just give me a minute, okay!"
The sound of cloth shuffling continued for a few more seconds, then Ryouga could be heard digging through his bag. "Oh. Oh crap."
"What? Are your pants ripped or something?" asked Naruto.
"Did you forget to bring the parcel we're delivering?" asked Negi.
Sakura didn't say anything, as she was unconscious at the moment.
"Uh," responded Ryouga, looking uncomfortable. "So... I've got good news... and I've got more good news! Which do you want to hear?"
"Negi, is Ryouga still naked?" asked the now-dressed Naruto.
"No, I'm dressed," Ryouga replied.
"Great," said Naruto, lowering his hands. "So, what's the other good news."
"That wasn't the good news," Ryouga deadpanned.
"Well, it wasn't bad news," said Naruto.
"...So anyways, the good news is that it turns out I didn't burn up our mission scroll earlier today."
"That is good news," said Negi.
"The other good news is that we're doing some survival training! Everyone, go gather edible things from the forest!"
"You incinerated the scroll with our food sealed in it," said Negi. It wasn't a question, but Ryouga answered anyways.
Author's Note: Two months and three days. I am so, so sorry.