Disclaimer: I do not own Passions. But you all knew that already... :)

Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews and messages. I really do appreciate them. It's nice to know the story is being enjoyed.

Chapter Thirty-Eight: "Want"

Drew looked down into Theresa's deep brown eyes and knew that she deserved the truth. Her faith in him was misguided.

Yet what would she think of him once she knew the truth? That he only sought her out because of what she once was--correction--still was to his brother. She would be horrified, of course. But wouldn't it be better for her to know now rather than later? Didn't she deserve at least that much?

"This sounds serious," she said quietly.

He nodded slowly. "It is. As a matter of fact, you might not want to have anything to do with me once you hear what I have to say."

"I find that hard to believe."

He stood, extricating himself from her grasp. He found it difficult to think clearly with her arms wrapped around him. "Well, just wait until you hear what I have to say."

"I'm listening," she replied.

Pacing anxiously, he began to speak. "When I met you that day on the beach, I thought in some ways that you were heaven sent; that you were the provision of the perfect opportunity for something that I'd always wanted to do."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"You don't understand. What I wanted to do-"

R-r-r-r-r-i-n-g!

"What I'm trying to say-"

R-r-r-r-r-i-n-g!

Drew looked at the phone in disgust. Whoever was trying to call had rotten timing. He walked to the phone, picked up the receiver, and immediately returned it to the receptacle, ending the aggravation of listening to its incessant ringing.

"Much better," he muttered. He looked back at Theresa and could see concern creeping into her features. She was concerned for him. He hated to know what would be going through her tender heart once she heard what he had to tell her.

She stood and walked to where he stood. She looped her arm with his and leaned against his shoulder. "Whatever it is, Drew, I can take it."

He sighed. She sounded so resolute, but there was something in her voice that made him hesitate. It was as though she was trying to hone all her strength into that one statement for his sake. He looked down at her small hands and saw the diamond ring on her left ring finger. He was the first man she'd been involved with since her fiance had died. And this was what she was getting for the trust she had placed in him?

R-r-r-r-r-i-n-g!

"Perhaps you should get that. Since they called back, it might be important," Theresa suggested softly.

Drew nodded and walked to the cordless phone and picked it up.

"Hello."

"Andrew! Thank God I caught you! What happened just now? We were disconnected."

Drew grimaced upon hearing Ethan's voice. Looking back at Theresa, he noted that she was surveying him with interest. No, it wouldn't do to have her know to whom he was speaking.

"Sorry. I was in the middle of something," Drew replied.

"Oh."

Drew could almost hear the wheels in his brother's head turning. "Why were you calling?"

"Have you seen Gwen?" Ethan asked.

"I don't keep up with your wife," Drew reminded him. "Besides, she's not my biggest fan."

"Damn," Ethan muttered. "I've been trying to track her down all day. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try."

Drew couldn't resist. "Did something happen?" he asked as he walked into the bedroom and out of Theresa's earshot.

"You could say that. Theresa came to see me today at my office. We were talking about the past and about us when Gwen showed up."

Theresa went to see his brother? Drew felt a twinge of something that he couldn't entirely identify. He looked back at Theresa who had taken a seat back on the couch. So that was the errand that had gone wrong? What would have happened between them if Gwen hadn't shown up?

"Oh? What happened then?"

"We tried to tell her that nothing was going on, but she wouldn't listen. She took off, and I haven't seen her since."

"I wouldn't worry too much. She never strays too far from home," Drew replied flippantly thinking of Ethan's wife. Oh, yes, she might like attention from men, but she always returned to her position as a Crane wife.

"I don't even know why I'm talking about this with you."

"Family is family," Drew replied. "So you haven't seen her. Well, tell me this...how did things go with Theresa?"

"Now is not the time for that," Ethan replied, annoyance creeping into his voice.

"Au contraire," Drew retorted gently. "Now's the perfect time. Unless, Gwen caught you in a more compromising position than you are willing to admit...," Drew added, fishing for information.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Andrew! Yes, there might be an attraction between Theresa and me. Yes, I might think about her from time to time. But she and I are not having an affair! I am married to Gwen, and my wife has been nothing but honest with me."

Drew chortled. His brother could be so blind! "Ah yes, Gwen Crane: the paragon of virtue. If we can, let's hold off on the canonization."

"I'm glad you find my situation to be so amusing," Ethan wryly replied.

"Amusing? Not exactly. Listen, my girl is waiting for me so that we can get back to where we were. Good luck finding Gwen, though you can look at it this way; perhaps she's finally left for good and done you both a favor."

With that, Drew turned off the phone.

He sat on his bed, leaning forward. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his eyes.

He was so tired of his brother's 'perfection.' How wonderfully ironic that he'd managed to find himself in such a compromising position. Of course, no one else would see it that way, particularly his family. Ethan could do no wrong in their eyes, and Drew suspected that he could do very little wrong in Theresa's eyes, either. Forget canonizing Gwen. Perhaps Mother and Father should erect a statue devoted to St. Ethan, Drew thought.

He pictured the young woman sitting in the other room and felt disgusted with himself for letting his involvement with her become clouded with emotions. He'd almost made a serious mistake and jeopardized everything that he'd been working toward by confessing his true intentions.

Theresa's feelings are her problem. But what I'm doing can't be so bad. After all, how deep are her feelings for me if she's chasing after a married man?

He was beginning to wish he'd taken Heather up on her offer.

He raised an eyebrow, once again cognizant of the irony of his brother's situation. Little did Ethan know, but his little phone call had just sown the seed of his own emotional downfall, and it served to remind Drew of his purpose.

He could not deviate from that. But what should he tell Theresa?

She was expecting something...

And she would get something...

"Any luck?" Sheridan asked Ethan as she walked into her living room and handed him a cup of tea.

He shook his head as he took the tea from her. "No, but Andrew did seem to take great pleasure in our conversation. I am so tired of his smugness."

Sheridan sat next to her nephew and struggled to find a comfortable position. "He was at the youth center earlier, which really surprised me."

"Andrew was at the youth center? Why?"

"He was playing basketball with Jamaal, one of the kids. They seemed to have a real camaraderie, and apparently this is something they've done before."

Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Andrew always did enjoy basketball, but I just can't see him volunteering his time with a youth organization. He always enjoyed certain other pursuits more."

Sheridan rolled her eyes. "Women. He's just like my brother and father in that respect."

Ethan nodded. "I suppose what really got to me when I talked to him was his implication that Gwen was right to suspect that there is something surreptitious going on between Theresa and me. But Sheridan, it was completely innocent! We were trying to clear the air. That's all. I just wish Gwen could see that."

"Ethan, what Gwen sees is how you react each time you're near Theresa or even hear her name mentioned. Yes, she is insecure, but I think she has every right to feel insecure because you haven't exactly given her reason to feel confident."

"How do I make her more confident?"

Sheridan shook her head. "You can't make someone confident, but you can give them the tools that they need. My suggestion to you: let Theresa go. Steer clear of her. If you see her coming, go the other way. Don't let yourself get caught up in thinking about her. Rather than concentrating on the past, concentrate on your future with Gwen. She loves you very much, Ethan."

"I know, and I love her, too."

"Then start acting like it. Look, I know that sounds harsh, but you're heading down a very dangerous path. I just don't want to see you get hurt, and I don't want to see Gwen or Theresa get hurt, either."

Ethan stood and began pacing. "Where could she be? I've tried to find her everyplace that I could think of."

"Knowing Gwen, my guess is that she's with her mother. I know you tried to find her there earlier, but you know that Gwen leans very heavily on Rebecca."

Ethan groaned. "Rebecca only helps to fuel Gwen's fears and anger."

"Then start being a supportive husband again, and Rebecca won't have a leg to stand on."

"What a wonderful choice, Mrs. Crane," said the clerk at Edmonton's, one of Boston's finest boutiques. "I'm certain you'll look just lovely in this ensemble."

Gwen looked back at her mother and smiled. Rebecca merely nodded approvingly.

"Thank you. I intend to enjoy this, along with the others," Gwen said indicating the colorful shopping bags neatly lined in a row.

"How will you be paying today?" asked the clerk.

"Actually, I would like for you to send my husband the bill. And do make sure to add a nice bonus for yourself onto the check," Gwen said.

A wide grin broke out onto the middle-aged woman's face. "Yes, Mrs. Crane. Have a wonderful evening!"

"Oh, I intend to," Gwen replied before taking the handles of the bags to her newest purchases.

As she and her mother made their way back outside, a black limousine greeted them. Settling back into the plush leather interior of the vehicle, Gwen closed her eyes.

"I'm proud of you, Dear. When I suggested this little shopping venture, I didn't think you would agree to it. I figured you would want to throw yourself into your work, but where's the fun in that?" Rebecca commented, the wrinkling of her nose subtly indicating her disdain for Gwen's insistence upon a career.

Gwen opened her eyes and looked at her mother. "There is a certain pleasure in shopping, though it can be so exhausting," Gwen concurred. "I have an idea. Why don't we stay in Boston tonight? We can return to Harmony tomorrow. I'm certainly in no hurry to return."

Rebecca shook her head. "I don't think that's such a good idea, Gwen. You mustn't allow Ethan free reign to do as he chooses. No, you have to keep at him. Play on his guilt."

Gwen looked at all the packages they were taking home with them. "Well, I am taking home some consolation prizes."

"It's the least he can do," Rebecca muttered. "But come now, Gwen. You mustn't give up."

"Oh, Mother, you have nothing to worry about there. I have no intention relinquishing Ethan. Especially to that little tramp."

Rebecca smiled. "It sounds to me as though you're up to something. Do share, Gwen. I love a good intrigue!"

"You have your secrets, and I have mine," Gwen replied.

Theresa stood in the doorway of Drew's bedroom. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

Drew looked up at her and felt his heart lurch. It wasn't going to be as easy as he thought to put his emotions aside. But that was what he going to have to do.

"Perfect," he replied. "Especially now that you're here." He took her hand and led her to the window. In the distance, they could see the ocean with ships leaving the harbor.

"I never grow tired of the sight," she said softly.

He nodded. "Yes, for over three hundred years people have stared at the same harbor, watching the ships leave for ports unknown. And I imagine this will continue three hundred years from now."

"Careful, Mr. Winthrop. You are dangerously close to sounding like a dreamer."

He raised an eyebrow. "I am many things, but one thing I am not is a dreamer. Sometimes idealism has to be sacrificed at the throne of practicality."

"Not when you have something worth believing in," she replied gently.

She cast her eyes on the ocean, and Drew noted the faraway look they held.

Drew turned away from her, his two greatest desires in contrast with each other. He wanted her. Really wanted her. Not just sexually, though he wanted that, too. But whether he wanted to admit it or not, he wanted her. But he also wanted to take his brother down a notch or two, and she was his ticket. For Ethan to finally find out that Theresa was his "lover" was something that he'd been working toward for quite some time. He couldn't just give up on that.

She turned and looked at him. "Drew, what were you going to tell me?"

"It's not important anymore," he replied brusquely.

She sighed and rubbed his back. "You always keep me guessing."

Yet he did not hear her completely. His eyes were closed.

Her touch felt so good, though it was merely a chaste gesture. The muscles in his back still weren't back to normal after the basketball match he played with Jamaal. As much as he hated to admit it, he wasn't as resilient as he used to be, especially in comparison to a fifteen year old boy.

"You are so tense," Theresa observed. Her hands went to his waist as she tugged at his shirt. "Take off your shirt and lie on the bed."

As her hands raked against his chest, he drew in a breath. Didn't she realize what she was doing to him?

"Why, Ms. Lopez-Fitzgerald, I thought you'd never ask," he teased as he lay on the bed.

"You are incorrigible!" she laughed. Sitting next to him on the mattress, she began massaging his shoulders and back in silence. Was his skin hot...or was it just her?

Running her fingers along the well-defined muscles in his back and broad shoulders and along his narrow waist, she sighed. He was one of the most handsome, sexiest men she'd ever known. She was undeniably drawn to him, and she wasn't entirely sure she should feel that way.

"That feels so good," he murmured, breaking into her thoughts.

"Good," she replied. "You shouldn't let your muscles get into knots, you know."

"Ah-the perils of competing against a younger man."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I went over to the youth center after I took you back to work and played a little one-on-one. I guess I keep forgetting that I'm not as young as I used to be."

Theresa laughed lightly. "Oh, you're positively ancient!"

"Compared to a fifteen year old boy," Drew reminded her.

"So did you win?" she asked.

"I always win. I just pay the price later," he replied.

She frowned. "Why do I get the feeling we aren't talking about basketball anymore?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

She sighed. He had been in such a strange mood since she got there. She wanted to lighten the mood a little.

"My sister-in-law Sheridan works at the youth center. You might know her. She used to be Sheridan Crane. Did you happen to see her today?"

Did I ever! he thought, but instead said, "I don't believe so."

Theresa smiled. "You would know her if you saw her. She's so beautiful, with the most amazing blue eyes and porcelain skin."

"Is it strange to have her as your sister-in-law considering your relationship with her nephew?" Drew asked. He involuntarily held his breath, waiting for her answer.

Theresa bristled. "Well, first off, I don't have a relationship with her nephew."

Wrong, Theresa. You are involved with Sheridan's nephew. But even if you weren't seeing me, I don't honestly believe it's completely over with you and Ethan. If it were, you would stay away from each other.

Theresa continued, "Ethan and I were over a long time ago, regardless of the rumor mill. But to answer your question, no. It's not strange in the least. Sheridan has really kept her distance from the Crane family, which is probably a good decision on her part. Luis is convinced that they were responsible for our papa's death, and I can't help but think that he may be right."

Drew lifted himself and supported his weight with his elbows. He didn't like where this conversation was going. "From what I hear, there's never been any evidence to support your brother's claim."

"Just because Luis hasn't found it yet, that doesn't mean that there isn't something to be found. A few years ago, my brother Miguel and his friend Kay were even doing some investigating on their own. We thought that maybe they were onto something, but it never entirely panned out. And then with Kay's death...it just didn't seem to matter anymore at the time."

"But now it does?" he asked.

Theresa swallowed hard. "It will always matter. My mother deserves to know the truth about her husband. For years, she lit a candle each night, anxiously awaiting his return. No one should have to live with the uncertainty that she's faced for the last twenty years. And Luis-he gave up on so many dreams when Papa left because he wanted to make sure that Miguel, Paloma, and I would have a better life. I will never forget that. If we can prove that Alistair or Julian Crane are responsible for Papa's death, they should have to face the consequences of their actions!"

"Even if Sheridan or Ethan get caught in the fray?"

"They can take care of themselves," Theresa replied. "Besides, they were just children at the time of my father's 'disappearance.' They couldn't possibly be held accountable."

"I'm surprised by you," he said simply.

"Why?" Theresa asked.

"It's just interesting to me that you would want your brother to pursue this vendetta against the Crane family, especially considering that his wife is a Crane."

Theresa groaned. "You have no idea of what they are capable of. They tried to keep Luis and Sheridan apart, and they almost succeeded. Luis and Sheridan's love has shown great perseverance and strength. Sheridan is all too aware of the capabilities of her father and brother. They did everything they could to undermine my brother's relationship with her, but their love prevailed in the end. It will prevail through even this."

"How can you be so sure? It's one thing for families to fight amongst themselves, but whenever outsiders start creating problems, families have a tendency to band together."

"Have you ever been in love, Drew?"

His response was immediate. "No."

"Then I don't think you can understand. True love is powerful...a force of nature, really. It can overcome any boundaries placed before it."

He said nothing.

Theresa lay on her side next to him, merely raking her fingernails lightly across his back. His body was beginning to respond accordingly, despite the fact that he didn't appreciate the things she had to say about his family. She didn't seem to have any idea of what she was doing to him.

A few moments later, she said suddenly, "Drew, you've been with so many women. You didn't love any of them?"

His turquoise eyes met her brown ones. "Love and sex do not necessarily go hand in hand," he told her bluntly. "Life isn't all about fairy tales and happy endings. Life is about desire and what drives people. For example, you might want me to kiss you."

To illustrate his point he pulled her close and took her mouth. Her mind told her that she should resist, but her body wouldn't let her. Everything in her responded to his kisses as their tongues sparred.

Breathing hard between kisses, he added, "You might want me to touch you." Lightly, he trailed his fingers down the side of her face and then lower. She felt his large hands slipping beneath the shirt she wore. She gasped with pleasure as he cupped her right breast, his fingers kneading her sensuously until her nipple was tautly erect against the lacy fabric of her brassiere.

"Hell, you might even say that you want me inside of you," he said hoarsely as he pulled her even closer. She became acutely aware of the heat between his thighs pressing into her, tight, hard, and close, but not close enough.

He forced himself to break off the kiss. "But none of that means that you're in love, Theresa. It only proves one thing: the existence of lust. Now, what do you want?"

She reached up and touched his face. "That's just it, Drew. Life is about more than what I want. Right now I want to throw caution to the wind. I want to be with you. I want to know what it would be like to sleep with you. I want to share that closeness with you. But I also have to think about more than just what I want. I have to think about what's best for me."

She looked at the diamond ring she wore on her left hand; the diamond ring that had once signified that she would be Chuck Wilson's wife.

She struggled to sit up.

"I'm sorry Drew, but now just isn't the right time. I might want to sleep with you, but I need more than physical gratification. I was just reminded of that fact," she said looking down at the ring once again.

He took her hand. "How long will you wear this, Theresa?"

"I don't know," she replied. She still didn't have the courage or the will to take it off. "You knew from the beginning that I had unresolved issues, Drew. And I'm sorry that I picked a bad time to bring them up again, but this is who I am. I know you must think that I have more baggage than the claims area at the airport. Just give me time."

He kissed her chastely on the top of the head before reaching for his shirt.

"Just so long as you don't give up on the idea of wanting," he said huskily.

She smiled. "I have the feeling that I'll be thinking about this night for a long time to come."

Leaning against the railing on the wharf, Gwen breathed deeply. She knew it was a common place for people to go, but for the life of her, she could not understand why. It was not a particularly pleasant place. The combination of the smell of fish and salty water hung in the air. The fishy smell vaguely reminded her of the Crane Fish Cannery, and that day so long ago when she and Ethan went to supervise the work taking place.

Gwen frowned. Theresa certainly made her presence known that day when she dumped the fish guts on Ethan. Gwen still wasn't entirely convinced that it was not done purposely.

"Some people will do anything for attention," she muttered.

She smirked at the irony of her statement. Who am I to talk? she thought to herself as she looked down at her dress, one of her new purchases from Boston. She had been feeling exceedingly risqué that evening upon the disappointing realization that Ethan was not waiting for her at home. She wanted attention, and if her husband was not going to give it to her...

So she left the house with every intention of letting Ethan know what it felt like to be on the receiving end of a cuckolding. Yet as she found herself approaching the nightspots, she realized she just didn't have it in her to go on a manhunt. Perhaps if she had her mother's brashness...but she simply didn't. Sure, she enjoyed a good flirtation, but beyond that, she had learned her lesson the hard way.

Crossing her arms, she thought of Andrew. If only there was a good way to get the upper hand where he was concerned. From what Ethan told her, he did seem to be quite interested in a young woman. Perhaps if she could find out who this young woman was, she could impart some of her knowledge about Andrew to her.

She sighed. It was a good thought, but her encounter with Andrew was so long ago. Perhaps if they'd slept together while he was dating this woman, it would matter, but as things stood, that was not the case. Something that happened five and a half years ago wouldn't matter to this woman.

Yet it would matter to Ethan if he found out. At the very least if Ethan wasn't hurt, he certainly would be angry. Would that give him an excuse to put her aside? She knew Ethan tried to be an honorable man, and he had made a commitment to her. Otherwise, they wouldn't still be together. Yet if he no longer felt honor bound to her, that would be the end. And if he found out about her dalliance with his brother or how she and her mother had set Theresa up... that would be the final straw.

But how could she keep Andrew quiet?

Yes, she did need the upper hand.

A cold shower hadn't done much good, Drew decided. He'd been doing too much of that lately.

Why had he felt compelled to turn Heather down? He wanted a warm body next to him, but it certainly didn't look as though Theresa was going to comply.

The answer, though he didn't want to face it, was staring him down. He had allowed himself to become a slave to his emotions, something that he had vowed never to do. What was it about Theresa that elicited such a reaction from him that he would willingly forego the pleasure of being with women?

"I need to break her hold on me," he thought as he headed toward Scorpion, a nightspot close to the wharf. Last time he'd been in Harmony, it had been a teen hangout called Making Waves, but it had obviously evolved.

Walking along the wharf, he caught sight he saw a familiar figure standing near the railing. Was that who he thought it was?

He smiled. Taunting Gwenie always gave him a much-needed rush. Besides, he did have some wonderful ammunition, thanks to his not-so-perfect brother.

Hearing footsteps behind her, Gwen turned around.

"All dressed up and nowhere to go, I see."

Gwen forced a smile. "And I see you were on your way somewhere. Back to Hell, perhaps?"

"Good one," he said standing next to her, leaning on the rail.

"Thank you. I thought so," she said.

"Actually, Gwenie, that dress is quite fetching," he said, his eyes raking her up and down. "Too bad Ethan's not around to see it. I can't really say I'm surprised. I think he might've had a date with his girlfriend tonight."

He watched for a reaction, but she said nothing. She merely stared at the water and willed him to go away.

"Where's your come-back? You know I depend on you for some good old-fashioned verbal sparring."

"Actually, I was just wondering why you aren't with your girlfriend tonight. Is there a snake in paradise? Oh, wait. You would happen to be that snake, wouldn't you? Damn. There goes that theory."

He yawned, as though bored with the conversation. "You would know about snakes, wouldn't you, Gwen. You and your mother."

She looked at him, hate surging through her. Hate and something else.

"Well, you know what snakes do. Snakes slither," she said in a low voice as she seductively ran a finger down his chest, "and they glide."

Drew's breath caught within him. Was Gwen trying to entice him? To what end?

Oh, this was just too delicious.

With a plan formulated in her mind, she looked at him smugly, realizing that just perhaps, she did have it in her to finally and officially cheat on Ethan. And if it gave her the results she wanted, all the better.

"Someone's feeling naughty tonight," he said pulling her to him.

"You have no idea," she murmured, arching her hips against him. She smiled as she realized she was getting the response from him that she wanted. "At least, not yet. What would you say if I told you that I could show you just how naughty I'm feeling? What do you want, Andrew?"