Chapter 37
Abilene, Kansas-1870
In a large, elegantly decorated suite above the Silver Spoon Saloon, James Butler Hickok awoke to the sound of his two-month old daughter Jemma Louise crying to be fed. As his smoky gray eyes adjusted to the grayish light streaming in from under the burgundy draped hanging from window beside the bed, Jimmy glanced over at the sleeping woman beside him. Amanda O'Connell Hickok's ebony hair was spread over the burgundy sheets and one slender arm gracefully covered her beautiful face. As much as he loved Amanda and cherished the fact that she had given him a daughter, Jimmy knew deep down in his heart that Amanda would never fully take the place of Louise in his heart. He loved her as much as he was able to, and sometimes felt guilty because he couldn't love her like she deserved. No woman would ever make him forget the petite, auburn-haired rider who had been the first person to really understand and respect him for who he was. It was because of Lou that he was able to love at all.
He thought back to the day, fiver years earlier, when he had first walked into the Silver Spoon. The war had been over for only a few months and he had recently left Sweetwater after being reunited with his Pony Express family. Sharing that time with his friends and becoming reacquainted with his many adopted nieces and nephews had been wonderful. Gradually though he had become restless and decided it was time to move on. He would never forget the look of sadness and loving concern in Lou's beautiful eyes as they said goodbye. He had been surprised to read the understanding in her eyes that she knew the real reason why he was leaving. There had been sorrow in them too for not being able to love him the way he wanted her to. He had gently caressed her face with one hand, kissed her lightly on the lips and said,
"Be happy okay? This was how God intended your life to be. I'll write as soon as I settle somewhere."
Lou had nodded through her tears and said, "This will always be your home Jimmy. Ride safe."
Kid had come up to them then and Lou had backed away to give the two men a few moments alone. He remembered the long look of respect, understanding, and genuine affection that that he and Kid had shared. Then they had embraced before he had mounted Sundancer and ridden out of the yard.
After leaving Sweetwater, Jimmy had drifted from place to place, doing odd jobs. Six months later he had arrived in Abilene. He had sought Amanda out and grudgingly accepted her job offer of working at the Silver Spoon Saloon she co-owned with Teaspoon. Shortly after arriving in Abilene, the Marshal had been killed and Jimmy had helped to bring in the man's killers in. When the town officials had offered him the position of Marshal, he had accepted it without hesitation. As they had started to spend more time with each other, Jimmy had found himself admiring Amanda more each day. Gradually that admiration had changed into a love that was shared by both. Even though he couldn't love Amanda as deeply as he wished he could, he did love her. He couldn't imagine spending his life without her and Jemma Louise.
Quietly, Jimmy slipped out of bed and reached for his trousers. After putting them on, he left the room and went into the nursery. With a gentle smile on his face he lifted his crying, wriggling daughter from her crib, and walked over to the changing table in the corner of the room and changed her messy diaper. He was so intent on what he was doing that he didn't realize that Amanda had awakened and come into the room behind him. Her voice startled him and he spun around.
"Good thing that's our daughter you're holding and a not a gun, or you would have dropped me. "Amanda teased him good-naturedly. "Or has having a baby softened 'Wild Bill'?"
Jimmy grimaced. She knew how much he detested the moniker that a ten-cent novelist had given him years ago. The name had caused him nothing but trouble ever since. "I don't know about 'Wild Bill', but Jimmy Hickok should turn you over his knee and give you a sound spanking."
Amanda's eyebrow rose ever so slightly as she asked, "Is that a threat or a promise?"
Jimmy grinned at the question. "What am I going to do with you? You're incorrigible. If I can't control my own wife, the townspeople are going to lose faith in me as their Marshal."
"Give me Jemma Louise so I can nurse her and you can get dressed. You wouldn't want to be late to the office, now would you." Amanda said, crossing into the room and taking their daughter into her arms. Jimmy relinquished his hold on the baby and pulled them both into his embrace. Holding Amanda's chin in the palm of one hand, Jimmy bent over and kissed her deeply on the mouth.
"We'll continue that later." He said when he drew away. He kissed Jemma's downy head and left the room.