STILL

I am looking for a BETA to go through all previous chapters. I will upload once a week, as always, but old chapters will be proofread and re-uploaded. You might wonder why I don't BETA the newest chapter before upload, but that's because I am too impatient and BETA-ing isn't high enough on my list for future chapters. I know I am doing it in the wrong order, but *shrug*…

Is anyone interested? I know it's quite a bit, since the story is so long, but if there are multiple people, I can give you each a few chapters… You can even offer to just beta one or two chapters only. Whatever floats your boat xD

Thank you for your awesome reviews! I tend to respond to you all, except for the guest-reviews, which I can't respond to. Thank you so much for your reviews!

Chapter 37 – Change

For vampires, change has always been a difficult thing. When we became vampires, our lives became set in stone, mostly, and almost only huge things could really touch us.

For my family, this meant everything.

When they awoke, everything was changed. Their world as they knew it had changed, their beliefs had changed, and they had changed.

To say it was frightening to them would be an understatement.

By borrowing my Edward's gift, I saw what had transpired on that field, some 3 years ago, through their point of view. I recalled their emotions through Jasper's memories, and I recalled the feeble hope they had felt, that everything would be fine. I saw when they realized that it wouldn't be fine.

I saw how anxious they had been, and how close they stood, holding hands and supporting each other. Sadly, I had seen the same scene, but from Aro's point of view - and his view was tainted by the jealousy and anger.

I told my family about Aro – I told them of what I had learned. For them to find out that the people they had trusted, to uphold our secret world, had been deceitful, greedy, and had already judged them beforehand – it hurt them beyond words. It was a deep betrayal, but none of them was hurt as much as Carlisle and Eleazar.

Carlisle and Eleazar took it especially rough. Both fell silent, and I felt their pained emotions and frustrations, and the deep betrayal. I let them deal with it, knowing that they were finally strong enough to work those emotions by themselves without hurting themselves. Eleazar had worked for the Volturi, and getting a glimpse of their true purpose had pained him so much. He had had an idea that Aro was a collector, but how deep it all went had shocked him. Carlisle felt it was all his fault, which we all assured him that it wasn't.

Irina, Kate, and Tanya were affected deeply as well. I told the truth of the extent of Aro's horrors, of his experiments. While they were all disgusted and horrified, it was painful to find out that Aro, too, had broken the law, and while he went free their mother had been punished with death. Considering all the things he had done, they felt the betrayal deeply. Would she have been spared had she been talented? Would a real leader have taught her the right ways, rather than punish immediately?

They also had to deal with their own private horrors. At some point in the interaction with Aro, they all came to realize that this was the end. Some were certain of their deaths early on, others it was just before it happened. Each of them had to deal with what Alex did to them; each of them had to deal with not feeling, and only hearing what went on. Each of them had to deal with the immense terror from hearing the first vampire get ripped into pieces. The deep fear of losing their mates had shaken them all.

I saw through Edward his immense fear at reading Aro's thoughts – Aro had certainly done his best to avoid this, but by then it had been too late. Edward had been silenced with Alex's gift, unable to tell me to run. The love I felt from him, the utter fear – it had been overwhelming.

Jasper had been anguished, and had squeezed Alice's hand with all his might as I told them Aro's view. She, Alice, had been the first to die. I told her how Aro had considered her valuable, but just as equally dangerous. Her death had been the most important one, as it would otherwise have tipped us off before.

I explained to them how Aro had worked to avoid her gift – to avoid making decisions and to keep his thoughts timeless, as to not tip her off. I told about his desire for gifted vampires, and I explained how jealous he had been of Carlisle, and of us all. I told them how long he had kept an eye on the family, and of his jealousy and rage. I told them about the wives, how they had been kept like prisoners, and I told them that Aro had murdered Marcus's wife.

My poor family also had to deal with waking up. Many of them recalled the confusion of just coming to. To them, it had felt like blinking – but upon blinking, everything had seemed so different. At first, many of them had believed that they were still under Alex's influence, and were still on the field. It had taken a while to realize that something had changed, but then they had to deal with the uncertainty and the lack of answers – answers I hadn't provided because in the very beginning, when they had just awoken, answers would've caused them more harm.

They also had to deal with me. Of course, I was in control of myself, but I wasn't the Bella they recalled. The Bella they remembered was a red-eyed and crazy newborn, but the Bella they saw now, when they first opened their eyes, was vastly different.

The first unfortunate vampires to see me had been Jasper and Edward. To them, I had looked like Hell. However, as my gift had expanded, I had been able to eat more and look less of a demon, so when the others could open their eyes, they saw a calm, golden-eyed vampire.

I was far from the newborn vampire they remembered, and it took a while for them to understand how many years had actually passed. They had missed so much of my new life.

As with human babies, the first few months are crucial. The same could be said about a vampire's first few months. I was so solely focused on saving my family, gathering venom, and protecting them, that it was really ingrained in me. Not only that, being alone with a bunch of 'puppets' had made me somewhat crazy in some instances. Normal newborns didn't talk to themselves, but I had.

I talked a lot to myself, and often with different voices. I had done it to pretend that I spoke with my family, but now I had trouble giving up the habit. I tried to control it, but it was very obvious when it was magazine-day. I brought in our usual magazines, and I slowly went through them, while talking.

They had been silent at first, listening to whatever I said, and it had been very apparent to them that I hadn't needed their input, because I created it myself.

As I cleaned them and brushed their hair, it also became very apparent that I was very protective and careful of them. They found it frustratingly sad that I overlooked myself to care of them – even more so as it could've become an ingrained part of my vampire self – something I wouldn't be able to get rid of. Hopefully, we had eternity to change to the better.

As for myself, I had my own issues to work through. While it had always been my priority for me to wake up my family, when it actually happened, I felt sort of lost. I now needed to get used to them being alive, and that also meant I had to try to be less alone, and perhaps less of an extreme paranoid caretaker. I had been the extreme caretaker for so long, and I had been in such an unlikely situation as well, so it was an ingrained part of me. I really did try to calm down – I knew that it would get weird otherwise, as I was very, very protective of them.

I had a lot of small notions that had shaped me since I had become a vampire – notions I now had to abandon. One of the worst things to abandon, or loosen up on, and most difficult things as well, was my protectiveness.

My family was aware and strong enough now to sit on their own. They weren't entirely steady on their own, and so I still brought them food. However, they had desires and ideas, and when I first had told them about Garrett, Esme had insisted that I invite him.

"Perhaps later," I replied, uncertain.

"Bella, he's your friend and he's been very helpful. Garrett needs to know that we're backing him…" Esme replied, kindly.

I cringed, "Sure, I agree. I just need you all to get a bit better first," I said.

"You said you trusted him," Carlisle reminded me.

"To an extent," I amended. "I know you want to help, but you're not ready, and I won't take a chance on your health." My voice was final, insisting, and my family backed off. I knew they only backed off because of my emotional state – I had just gotten them all back, and to lose them again would be horrible.

"When we're better then," Carlisle agreed quietly. In his mind, I knew he fretted for this faceless man whose life was on the line somewhere in Europe. I fretted too, but I had my priorities straight: my family came first. As helpful as Garrett had been, I didn't take chances.

"There are several making a bid for the throne, so to speak," I explained. "Maria is one of them…" I glanced towards Jasper. He looked frail, but determined and angry.

"We will have to end her – it's certainly overdue," Jasper acknowledged. "I wonder if Peter and Charlotte are alive…" As he spoke, I recalled how Aro had first gotten information about our family – about me. It had been an innocent chance encounter with Jasper and Charlotte.

"They were the ones to tell Aro about Edward and me – the ones to give Aro an excuse," I revealed, uncertain. "I don't blame them; they certainly had no choice…" I quickly added. Still, Jasper looked pained and guilty. I gently padded his hand.

"I can scout for them," I offered, eager to try to use Alice's strange gift. Alice looked amused at my offer, and I saw how she scouted ahead as well. I let go of Edward's gift, since I didn't want to have Alice's vision run parallel with my own.

I failed spectacularly at seeing anything. So far, I had no control over Alice's gift, so seeing on command was almost impossible. Alice heard my grunt.

"Well, you've never met Peter and Charlotte," Alice reminded me in quiet comfort.

"You can see people you haven't met… And technically, I've met them through your memories." I tried to will a vision to appear, but I failed. Instead, another vision appeared. "I am hunting later, apparently, and I will get a dear for us – a small one…"

"That's awesome," Edward applauded me.

Alice kept an eye out for Peter and Charlotte, and I decided to ask Garrett if he could find them when I felt my family was ready and strong enough to meet him.

One of the worrying changes to all that had happened was the bond between Edward and me. Before all this had happened, we had been mates. We had had dozens of conversations about our belief, our ideas, dreams, and way of life – I recalled them all.

Edward had been alone for 90-odd years, and his vampire ways were certainly ingrained in him. While we had spoken about women, nowadays, being free and able-bodied, unlike the women from his original time, his base instinct would always be to take care of me, to love me, to applaud me.

However, I had been alone my entire un-life, and I didn't need anyone to tell me I was doing good, because I knew where I stood when I did things. I might second-guess myself, but I always used myself to go through my thoughts. I might've become a bit crazy, but I was very strong mentally. I stood on my own two feet, and I took care of things – one way or the other. I did what I had to do; I had become so independent that I didn't need anyone.

This meant that Edward's praise and care had become superfluous to me; I knew I loved him, there was no doubt about it, but to some degree, I had now become uncertain of whether I needed him. Had our love become purely platonic?

We had both been fearful for a moment of our bond being lost. However, as Carlisle pointed out, the fact that we had these fears showed that our bond was still there – we just needed to re-acquaint ourselves with each other.

And so, whenever I wasn't hunting and gathering venom, even though my family could produce their own now – albeit very slow – Edward and I would talk. We spent countless of hours talking, and trying to get to know each other again. We talked about my family, my human life, and I told him that I had kept an eye on Charlie and Renee, and even called them. He had been beyond sad that he hadn't been there for me.

I was pleased to discover that there was something that certainly wasn't superfluous: his love. When he told me he loved me, I felt such a jolt go through me emotionally – every time. And when we touched, I felt the same jolt speed between our touch physically.

We talked a lot – I divulged everything. What I had been hesitant about revealing, Edward had insisted that I reveal, and so he ended up knowing everything I had been up to.

I managed to keep it from the others, as I learned how to remove my shield from me, so that Edward could read my mind. It was very uncomfortable to do, and it made me feel immensely naked, and removing my shield also meant I entirely gave up my gift, so that I lost the ability to borrow. Still, I did it for Edward – I did it for us.

Edward, of course, worked a lot with his own emotions and instincts. Seeing my memories made it very apparent how alone I had been, and he needed so much to comfort me, but he needed to do it in a way that suited my forced independence, and I, of course, tried to work hard to include Edward.

I knew we had a very long way to go – not just Edward and me, but all of us. We all had lost a part of us when the Volturi attacked – be it our innocent belief or trust in the future.

Alice took it hard as well – she blamed herself a lot. Of course, no one else blamed her, and Jasper was a great help for her – and me, for that matter. Jasper had been in wars before, so he knew about the kind-of-PTSD that we all suffered from – especially me. I spoke at lengths with him as well, especially about the future.

"We have to do something…" Esme's voice was weak, but certain. She was sitting stiffly her sun-chair. Now that they were fully healed and their bodies more robust, I had put each of them in a sun-chair, and placed them in a circle so that they could see each other. Emmett spent a lot of time trying to make weird face, and at the same time staring longingly at Rose.

Many of my family members were squeezing a small ball, trying to get used to movement. They said they felt like they had been born – incapable of speech and movement at first. It got better quickly, though.

Of course, once Jasper had gotten enough control over himself and his gift, I was talked into finally going on a huge hunting trip. I had been unwilling, but everyone had insisted, and so I had gone.

For a full day, I had gorged on various large animals, and I had filled so many flasks with venom and animal blood. We had a real feast when I got back. Even the animal blood had made them somewhat crazy, but since their bodies were so weak, I could easily control them with Jasper's gift.

Once I had managed to feed them all properly, strides had been made.

"You fed us with a tube?" Tanya wondered in disbelief.

"Well, I had to feed you somehow," I rationalized. "At first, I had fed you blood, but you didn't produce venom and I had given you too much blood for the venom I gave you to digest, and so it clotted inside of you," I revealed, recalling the horror when I had first realized.

"That sounds uncomfortable and disgusting," Rosalie surmised. Her gaze softened a bit – it was pretty weird. Rosalie had always been somewhat stand-off-ish, though not necessarily unkind. Now, however, she looked at me with such care. It was weird to recall how she had inspired my bitch-stare.

"It was pretty gross," I agreed. "I gave you loads of venom, which eventually took care of it, but I ended up having to postpone feeding you blood until you had enough venom to digest it," I revealed.

"I can't imagine how you got so much venom gathered. I mean, despite eating animals, it's not exactly something that gets the venom flowing," Eleazar said, easily. Edward stiffened.

"We don't blame you," Carlisle assured me, seriously.

"We understand the sacrifices you've made, and we're truly grateful," Edward added, his tone as tender just like his eyes.

"You think I ate humans," I realized. The trust, the love, and the acceptance in all of their eyes were almost overwhelming. I had to let Jasper's gift go when I felt their emotions. It was too much.

"We understand, darling," Esme assured me, lovingly.

"I never ate a human," I quickly said, smiling wryly. Their shock was palpable and I borrowed Jasper's gift again. I chuckled. "About a month after you had been hurt, I smelled a human. I fully intended to eat him, but when I realized how much venom I produced I just couldn't – I stopped." They looked at me with shock and awe; it was very strange to see and feel.

"What?" Edward wondered, surprised. "I thought, when you suggested we ate humans…"

"That was solely for you – to get you better," I told them. "My venom production has been my greatest strength," I explained, serious. "Getting you better was my only objective, and so I needed my venom. I couldn't waste it on eating a human – I could hardly waste it on eating an animal," I explained. Once more, forgetting that what I had done was really not normal, I just continued unthinkingly. "I started collecting venom by using human scents. Not soon after moving here, I started visiting the hospital and sniffing blood – it really got the venom going. Blood felt so amazing; it just made me feel like I was high. I think that's what heroin addicts must feel. I felt like I was riding on a sky, just soaking in venom and blood. My throat and jaw hurt from how much venom I produced, my body almost tingled…" I trailed off, feeling a slight poke from Jasper with his gift.

My voice had turned almost dreamy and sensual, and the emotions I sent out had bordered on lust. I pulled back the emotions.

"I'm sorry, I-" I shook my head, realizing how much I had revealed just now. I had made them feel my emotions, almost. They looked a little worked up, and I gently calmed them.

"Blood is powerful," Carlisle agreed quietly. In their minds, I saw the awe they had for me and what I had accomplished – and alone. Of course, they didn't realize that I hadn't been alone. I had had my need to help my family, and that need had been a constant reminder.

"It felt like so much more. I never felt the need to drink it, but what it did to me, to my body – my venom-production…" I trailed off. I should probably feel ashamed, but for some reason I didn't. The memories had felt so natural.

"I've never considered doing that," Emmett pondered, waggling his eyebrows at Rosalie. She looked contemplating.

"It's a different way to explore your thirst." Jasper chuckled lightly.

Edward was staring at me intently, and when we locked eyes, he winked at me. I could hear from his mind that the idea of rolling around in blood seemed appealing, especially if I was rolling around with him. I felt my needs stir again, so I had to control myself.

Despite their weakened state, they all longed to move about, to hunt; they all needed it. Still, I was adamant that it was far too dangerous to take them all outside at once, and since my gift could stretch far enough. We ended up compromising: I took one of them out at a time, staying within range so that I could borrow all gifts.

They agreed mostly to appease me. It was obvious that I needed the control – I had spent too much time worrying about their safety, and if something did happen…

I brought each of them out each night, and I got the chance to talk to them. Carlisle, especially, found it all very curious. Frightening, no doubt, but interesting. He spent almost more time trying to work his body, running and testing, than eating.

The Denali sisters and I spoke about their life as vampires, and how they mingled with humans. They enjoyed making trinkets, and they actually had their own small shop – something I had been completely unaware of. They also told me about their mother, and how angry they were with the Volturi.

I also spoke at lengths with them about my own troubles – they had all been very curious. I told them how my need to save them had driven me to great lengths, good and bad. I told them that while they might've been asleep, they had been there in the spirit, guiding me and helping me. The love I had for them all, the dedication, humbled each of them, and our bond was stronger than ever. The ones I hadn't known well before I now loved, and while their love was limited, because they hadn't been aware, we still grew a strong and tight bond. That's how I learned how delightful our cousins actually were.

Edward and I found our love in the forest. We spoke a lot, both vocally and mentally. I tried to tell him all I had experienced, and we tried to find each other in the chaos. It became very apparent that I had missed him a lot, missed him beyond words, and when he saw what I had gone through, he had broken down. Him breaking down set me off, as well, and I cried more than I had ever cried. We held each other as we talked.

Eventually, we shared our first kiss, and it felt so right. The kiss, however, seemed to break a dam, and I broke down again. Edward held me the entire time as he watched the chaos in my head. He promised that he'd never leave, that he loved me beyond words.

While I had been independent before, I found that including Edward was becoming easier. I needed his voice, his ideas, so I felt I could easily share with him.

"Perhaps you can lift your shield, but still keep a hold of the other's gifts?" Edward suggested. I liked the idea of being so flexible. Right now, I worked on an all or nothing premise, but it would be great. I promised to look into it.

"I've missed you so much," I revealed, leaning into his embrace. His arms went around me, holding me tightly. This tightness made me break down, for the third time that evening. I ended up crying hysterically for a while; it had been so long that Edward, or anyone had held me. I had felt so alone. I had missed him so much!

The evenings with Edward had been an affirmation of our love; I felt such a burden slip from my shoulder, and I knew Edward felt it too. After that evening, I felt stronger - a different kind of strong.

"You've been amazing," Rosalie shook her head in amazement. "I swear, I have a long way before I get used to human blood again… I was getting so good at it, too." Rosalie referred to the time before the Volturi, where she had worked on fighting the bloodlust so that she could work with children one day.

"You'll get there." I smiled lightly to her, not knowing what else to say. Something had been weighing heavily on my mind for a while now, and Rosalie sensed my discomfort, or hesitation. She turned to me and looked at me imploringly.

"Bella? You've been a bit off, for a while. At least towards me…" Rosalie told me. I nodded.

"I-" I paused. "Rose, you were brought into this world against your will. I know your life as a vampire hasn't been easy, especially due to your human life," I added. "First Carlisle brought you into this world without asking, and now me. No one has bothered to ask what you want. But that's what I'm going to do now: if you don't want to live, then it's my duty to undo what I've done. If I can give you life, I should be decent enough to end it as well – if that's what you want…" I stared at her imploringly. I doubted she'd choose death, but I felt I owed her the offer.

Rosalie, despite her weakened state, threw her arms around me in a hug. I hugged her back, and I felt her body shake the slightest.

"Bella, to offer me death… No one's ever done that before," Rosalie told me, emotionally. She cracked a wry smile at what she had set, and I chuckled lightly.

"I'm responsible now," I told her, seriously. "I took away your choice…"

"I never considered dying – I love Emmett," Rosalie assured me. "I think the problem was always being aware of how much I had lost. I often felt like I was the Little Match Girl – looking through the window into the living-room of Life, and dreaming of a day that I could join…" Rosalie shook her head sadly.

"I'm so sorry," I replied, unable to come up with anything else. Rosalie sent me a happy smile.

"Don't be. For a long time, I've hated myself for being a vampire, for missing what I couldn't have. I hated Carlisle partly for making me this, and I hated myself for turning Emmett…" Rosalie revealed. "Emmett…" She sighed with love. "Bless that goof, he doesn't blame me – not ever. His view on things cancel out mine." She laughed softly.

"Many years ago I had considered working with humans, perhaps even children. I was too afraid, however. Then you came along, and I had to re-evaluate some things – unless I wanted to be a total bitch…" She chuckled lightly. "I know my emotions and my actions never really went along in harmony, I think it was due to my human needs being so ingrained in me, but along the way, I found that I knew I had to do something, yet I felt unable to do… anything." I let Rosalie talk, wondering where it was heading. "I felt stuck by my human emotions."

"I am not all sad," she told me with a gentle laugh. "We vampires have difficult in changing, but I think that things might just be turning now… Things are different…" The last was spoken with a soft voice.

"Different?" I wondered

"Perhaps it's because I'm a newborn again. I've been changed, once more… Perhaps this was just so huge… But-" she stilled. "- I don't feel the same pull, anymore. I don't feel the same sadness over losing what I never really had." I recalled how her human life had been forfeit. "I need Emmett more than anything. I always knew I needed him, but I just also needed the other things… Now, I just need him, the family… I think I'm going to be better now. Yes, definitely better…" She seemed to reach some internal conclusion, and I felt happy for her. Who knew what had happened with them when they were re-changed? This was a new chance.

The talk between Rosalie and me had made us very close. It had been emotional and considerate, unlike her usual behavior.

I had looked forward to having my time with Alice as well. I quickly found that things were much as we remembered them – we fell into our old roles easily, though this time I had much more edge. Being able to borrow her gift made our interaction extremely amusing, and we spent a lot of time exploring it, as it allowed Alice to learn more about her gift now that she could spar with someone.

She also taught me a lot of tips and tricks.

As with Rosalie, our conversations were emotional as well. We talked about her failure to see Aro's true purpose. It wasn't her failure, of course, but she felt that she had failed, and we talked about it. She felt she needed to apologize to me, and I told her that her vision of the future, us running in the summer, was what had kept me going.

"Really?" Alice wondered. Her lips quivered lightly.

"Without it, I might not have had any hope at all…"

"I agree with Carlisle," Esme said. She looked towards her husband with devotion. Their hands were joined in a loose grip, and it tightened just a bit for a second.

"We have to fight," Emmett insisted.

"I swear, you're just getting better and you want to go fight," I growled lightly at Emmett at the idea. Ever the parent.

"Well, this is different," Emmett assured me.

"You losing your lives again aren't different… Do you feel you have to prove something?" I asked the last part with a smirk.

"Save me the therapy session," Emmett growled petulantly. I knew he hated being so still, and being so stuck. They could move around in the basement, but we were living among humans, and they couldn't leave the house or indicate that they were there – questions might be asked. Still, with our super vision, they could prowl around at night.

"Emmett might be eager to fight, too eager, but it doesn't remove the actual point: we have to do something," Carlisle insisted, sadly. "Humans are resilient; it's not like in the old times. It will be chaos. We have to ensure that we're not exposed."

"What do you see?" Carmen's voice was soft, and all eyes shifted between Alice and me. I leaned my head back, trying to use Alice's gift. I let go of Edward's gift shortly as to not confuse myself, and then Alice and I stared into the future.

Perhaps it was because I was so overly careful and protective of my family, but I had come to understand Alice's gift much better. I tried to use it all the time, because I knew it would be a great tool to help me keep my family safe. The need to keep my family safe made me more inclined to learn.

I looked for ways to keep my family safe, but everything pointed towards exposure, and that would be bad in the end.

"Chaos," I said. "The humans cannot know." I borrowed Edward's gif to see what Alice saw, and I wrinkled my nose at what Alice was trying to see. She was scouting ahead to see what would happen if the family fought – more importantly: if I tapped into all their powers. Technically, we'd have a double of all powers if I could tap into them all.

"We'd have a good chance if Bella fights – we'll have double powers. Still, the future seems uncertain. I think you need to work on trying to borrow all our gifts at the same time." Alice looked towards me, considering.

"It's so confusing," I mumbled, frustrated. I tried to scout ahead, to change my decisions.

"Considering what you've done up until now, this should be a piece of cake," Jasper chuckled lightly, sending a wave of love towards me. I think I would've blushed at the attention they all gave me, had I been human. It had been so long since I had talked with anyone.

"You should let Garrett know that we can protect him – we're soon strong enough to hunt for ourselves, and you can tap into our powers," Esme suggested.

"I wish we had a vampire with a more physical gift – then it would be much safer," I replied.

"Bella, we only need another month or so, and then we're fully functional," Kate assured me. "We can fight – as long as we're not outnumbered."

"And what if our enemies don't have any gifts, but are superb at fighting?" I wondered, seriously.

"I say we go to Volterra and then you use your gift to borrow all of their gifts at the same time!" Emmett grinned eagerly at the idea. Alice was skimming ahead to see the result, and I followed her closely.

"I can't see anything – you're unwilling," Alice said. "Or there's a power that might interfere… Bah!" Alice growled, frustrated. "I am going shopping as the first thing when I get out of here. I need some sense of normalcy. I wonder how the stocks have fared…"

"Did I ever tell you that I bought you a pixie costume?" I pondered, relaxed. Alice looked at me horrified.

"You didn't make me wear it, did you?" Her voice was bordering a screech. The others laughed at the idea.

"Of course not," I denied. "You were too fragile, then... You know, I did tape our time together – in the beginning."

"Why only the beginning?" Edward wondered.

"Can we watch it?

"I became a bit depressed and forgot about it," I admitted. "I think, with so much time I had plenty of time to cycle through all of the stages – depression, anxiety, anger, and so on…" I explained. "I don't know about watching them…"

"Come on," Emmett begged. "I want to know what I missed." He sounded genuinely hurt and curious, and I could tell the others were as well. They wanted to know what had gone on while they had been asleep.

I found the tapes within seconds. "I might seem a bit odd to you," I admitted. "I will hunt while you watch…" I knew they deserved the truth, even my strange moments. Still, I didn't need to be around to feel or see their pity. I'd let them compose themselves.

Next chapter is about meeting Garrett, Peter and Charlotte, as well as telling them what happened, and figuring our what to do with the vampire situation.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter :D