Chapter 36

I do not own Twilight, or the quote from Breaking Dawn I used in this Chapter. Hope you like it and sorry for the slow update. I at least want to get to the wedding before 8-2-08. . .

"What to do? What to do?" Alice tapped her chin in mock thoughtfulness.

I narrowed my eyes, "You aren't serious, are you Alice? Look at that list!" I pointed to the long list that touched the floor.

"Of course I am!" Alice pretended to be offended. "I can't believe you would consider me not something, especially at a time like this."

I let out an aggravated sigh.

"Oooh, what's that?" Jennie asked, completely ignoring my obvious frustration.

Alice grinned. "It's Bella's and Edward's wedding plans. I have the fabrics, pictures of the dresses, guest lists invitations, the seating arrangements―everything."

"Oh wow! Can I see it?" Jennie reached for the overstuffed book.

"Yeah, come here," Alice motioned to Jennie to sit down next to her.

Jennie crawled her way to Alice as Alice handed the book to Jennie.

"Ooooh! It's so pretty!" Jennie toyed the lace on the book. She opened the white colored book gingerly in her hands. "Omigod! What's this?" Jennie's jaw dropped.

"What?" Jenna squirmed her way to her sister wanting to see. "I wanna see. Jennie!"

Alice peered over Jennie's smile with a smirk on her face. "That's the backyard."

"You liar!" Jennie cried out in disbelief. "No way! No freakin' way! That is way too nice to be a backyard."

Alice laughed. "It is the backyard, you just couldn't see it because it's too dark." Alice motioned her head towards the south end of the house and the huge glass window that overlooks the breathtaking backyard, but it was too dark to see anything especially since there was no moon.

Jennie ran to the glass wall to peer at the outside. "Omigod, no way! You're telling me, that there's a river in the backyard?"

"That's impossible, there can't be a river in your backyard." Jenna got up to look through the glass wall, just like her sister.

Alice appeared at their side, a little too quickly for my likings, and giggled. "Nothing is impossible."

"Whoa!" Jennie squealed.

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were over there?" Jenna accused with narrow eyes.

"I was, but now I'm here." Alice shrugged. "What are you two looking at anyhow?"

"Um. We're trying to look for a giant blue river," Jennie said, turning away from Alice and back to the oversized window to get a glimpse of the Cullens' fantastic backyard.

"Well, not to point out the obvious, but it's kind of dark out, so I don't think your eyes can see it quite yet." Alice observed.

I sighed, "Come on Alice, let's get your silly list over with so we can get some sleep―not like anyone in this house needs any."

Alice gave me her dazzling smile, "Fantastic. Where should we start?"

"Why am I covered in feathers?" I was afraid to look at myself. This was definitely worse that the makeovers that all them forced me to do. The mascara, blush, eyeliner, and the endless gossip, I think I can handle, but this? I don't think so.

Their laughter was causing me a headache. I think that had to do with the fact that I've only been getting three to four hours of sleep that I've been getting. I think it's making me a little cranky.

"Someone answer me!!" I demanded. I glared at every single one of them. "What happened?!"

Very cranky.

"You fell asleep," Rosalie tried to sound calm, but there was a hint of malignly in her voice that made my eyes narrow. She played with an ordinary bottle in her fingers.

"Is that . . . ?" I scowled at the bottle in her hands, which made me realize how sticky I felt. "Oh no," I muttered to myself.

"It's maple syrup," Alice stated toying piece of square flat cloth in her hands. What did they do now?

"Yeah, but what's it doing on?" I indicated towards my new onsamble.

My head started to clear, and things weren't as foggy as as it was before. I became more aware of my surroundings, and what was on me. Anna was looking a little more animated than before, and she had this mischievous grin on her face that she was trying to hide―which clearly said that she was up to something. Jenna and Jennie just recovered from a laughing fit, the very same laughing fit that woke me up in the first place. There were multiple empty looking square sacks. And then it hit me, the square sacks were empty pillows; and the maple syrup bottles, they were empty as well.

I unimpressively growled.

"Why am I dressed up as a chicken?" I hissed through clenched teeth.

That just caused them all to cackle with laughter all over again. Even Rosalie was laughing hysterically.

"This is not funny," I grumbled. I mean, I had a red rubber glove on my head―it felt like it was squeezing the brains out my nose.

That just caused them to laugh even harder. The pounding that seemed to go on in my head seemed to increase in tempo as the laughing got louder and louder. I don't know whether to blame the stupid rubber glove on my head or the lack of sleep.

"It kinda is funny, Bella." Alice managed to get out between her laughing fit.

I pulled the rubber glove off my head. "Seriously. Why. Am. I. A. Chicken?!"

"Oh god Bella. You look so stupid," Jenna choked out.

My hair was in an impossible disarray covering most of my face. I could just feel my hair pointing in multiple directions. And it didn't help that I was completely covered in maple syrup from head-to-toe.

"The look on your face," Jennie clenched her belly from her intense laughter.

"Ha." I sorted my matted hair so I could see them. "Very funny. I'm sticky now, I hope you're happy."

"And feathery!" Anna pipped.

"And feathery," I repeated, grinding my teeth together.

Rosalie composed herself almost perfectly, except she failed to wipe the smirk off her face. "You know, it's a good thing Emmett and Jasper went to the store. They bought so much maple syrup, we didn't know what to do with it," Rosalie told me. "But we still have some leftover―thankfully―Emmett would get really upset if he didn't have maple syrup with his pancakes in the morning."

"Oh geez Rosalie, how considerate."

"No problem," her tone as indifferent as ever.

"That still doesn't explain why I resemble poultry," my gaze immediately flickering to Alice, since it was obviously her idea.

"Don't look at me," Alice sounded as innocent as she could. It was completely believable.

I searched her eyes to prove otherwise. That she didn't think of it. But I found no traces of evidence that Alice did anything. Too bad I know better. I kept my gaze on her, unperturbed.

Alice closed her eyes in exasperation. "Fine. It may have been my idea, but only partially. Anna came up with the dressing you up as a chicken part. But if I do recall correctly you signed a release form. A contract. So, legally, you can't do anything about it," Alice said in a singsong tone.

"I don't believe you," I stated.

Alice gave me an impish smile that I detested, because whenever that smirk appears on her pixie-like face, something horrible―well, not necessarily horrible, but something that is . . . well, not good―is about to happen to me.

"I knew you would say that," Alice's grin widened.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you would."

"True. So I had it right here, for when the moment called for it." Alice indicated towards her side. "Take a look for yourself.

Apprehensively, I grabbed the folder and opened it to reveal the rather big looking document. It looked at least hundred pages long. What type of person writes a release form hundred pages long?

"Look, it even says right here," Alice took the papers away from me in one quick and lithe motion.

" 'I Isabella Marie Swan acknowledge the fact that by signing this document I'm assuming the risks and agreeing not to indemnify not to sue, harm in anyway (in the future or present), complain, or sic Edward Anthony Mason Cullen on Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Anna . . .' Blah, blah, blah . . .

" 'I hereby agree and allow to be dressed up, have makeup be put upon, watch feminine movies of all sorts, eat lots of junk food, not be a spoil sport' . . . Blah, blah, blah . . ."

Alice flipped a couple a pages. "Aha!" She pointed her finger to the exact spot so I could follow the words.

" 'And of consequence of sleeping at inappropriate hours―with Edward Anthony Mason Cullen's consent―we are allowed to' . . . Blah, blah, blah. Yadda yadda yadda. ' . . . to be dressed up as a chicken, which supports section 6 (A), page thirty-four, paragraph D that states the allowances of biodegradable and edible substances on Isabella Marie Swan's body.' Read it and weep." Alice said with authority.

"You've got to be kidding me," I groaned in disbelief. "I don't even remember signing this."

Alice giggled. "Of course you wouldn't. You were completely disoriented when I asked you to sign it. In fact," Alice paused. She whispered in my ear, "It seemed like you were under the influence, but I couldn't smell anything so . . ."

"Yes, I am under the influence, of complete insanity named Alice." I snapped.

"Ooh, feisty," Anna snickered. I think I liked her better when she was brooding because she was quiet.

"Like your any better, Mrs. Doggie," I screeched a little louder than necessary. I got a few bemused stares from, well, everyone.

"It was brilliant and you know it," Anna said with narrow eyes, but I could tell from the way that her eyes glimmered for a brief moment, that she was back to her playful old self.

"A chicken? Was that the best you can come up with?" I taunted playfully.

"Really? These pictures say differently," Anna said smugly holding a colorful digital camera the size of her palm.

My jaw dropped.

"Pictures?" I said incredulously, still looking at the camera in Anna's hand.

"Duh! You think I wouldn't take a picture of you dressed like that?" she scoffed. "As if."

I watched as Anna tossed the camera carefully from one hand to the other. Back and forward, back and forward.

"You want this?" Anna brought the camera to her face, dangling it from just its string.

I nodded.

"Too bad," Anna swung the camera in circles with her index finger.

"I hope it breaks," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

She laughed hearing me.

"I'm not the one who can't catch anything," Anna commented, her brown eyes sparkling to life.

"So?" I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Plus, like I'll drop it. I want your Eddie-Boy to see this," Anna teased.

She stopped twirling the camera in the air for a second to observe it. She over exaggerated her movements making them slower than necessary, causing giggle fits from Jennie and Jenna. I glowered at her. Anna has to make a scene with everything.

"Ooh, look at this one. Eddie will love it," Anna said after searching through the camera's memory. She wasn't even looking at the camera when she said that, she was looking at me with a strange smile on her face. The others gathered around Anna to look at the picture she was talking about. The reactions varied, some looked shocked and other looked extremely amused―Alice, Rosalie, and Anna.

My intuition flickered: she wasn't looking at pictures of me in my chicken suit anymore, she was looking at something different. And I hope it wasn't what I thought it was. Besides, it was impossible. I don't even remember a camera at all. Was there a camera?

"Omigod Bella, you're so sexy!" Jennie exclaimed, her cheeks flushing a slight pink.

I narrowed my eyes. "Anna, that better not be what I think it is," I warned.

"And what if it is what you think it is?" she asked innocently as she could with her wicked smile.

"Then I'd have to steal it and throw it into that river Jennie and Jenna love so much," I forced as much agitation as I could into my voice, which wasn't as hard as it sounds. Especially right now because I have this intense urge to actually throw that stupid camera in the lake.

"This was the best idea you had Anna," Alice congratulated her. "Much better than the chicken."

"I try my best," Anna said popping a chip into her mouth and crunched on it loudly. She had an odd expression on her face, like she was contemplating something.

"I wonder if the boys can hear us," Anna mused aloud, grabbing another chip to chomp on.

"Of course they can," I grumbled.

"And I wonder if Eddie-Boy can see this picture if I . . ." she scrunched her eyebrows in deep concentration.

There was a loud crash upstairs with a loud bang just above us.

"Anna!!" It was Edward's musical voice, sounding as irritated as I felt. Regardless, my heart stopped at the sound of it as it always did. I could almost picture his flawless features twisted in frustration, or at least that's what I figure since I'm downstairs and can't really see him at the moment, obviously.

"What did you say Eddie?" Anna asked trying to sound as angelic as possible. And it was very convincing, too bad I've seen her pull this act since she was . . . what, two? I can tell that she was faking no matter how convincing it may seem.

"Could you possibly stop?!" he demanded in a booming voice that was hard to say no to.

"Nope."

Well, everyone can say no except Anna.

"What are they talking about?" Jennie asked confused by their exchange.

"You don't want to know," I gave her a sympathetic look and started to pick at the chicken feathers that were glued to my skin.

"Is it because of the picture of you half-naked?" Jenna asked attempting to sound as unfeigned as a person could, but she failed horribly at it.

"Maybe," I managed to say through gritted teeth.

"Oh, so it is about you dressing up with barely any clothing, right?" she tilted her head and bit her lip trying to suppress a giggle.

The booming laughter coming from upstairs were completely recognizable, it was Emmett and Jasper. Laughing at whatever Jennie said. But the laughter got louder, and louder, and louder. They couldn't laugh that loud can they?

Instinctively I looked at the stairs and saw the two of them howling with laughter, even Edward was trying to fit the laughter that was probably crawling up his throat. Puzzled for a moment, and then remembered my poultry-like state.

"What are you laughing at?" I grumbled.

"At this giant chicken in the middle of our living room―it kinda looks like Bella," Emmett snickered.

I ground my teeth together, "You're funny. Very funny."

"Oh, it is," Jasper said in between his gaping breaths.

I got up, wavering for a second. And started to head up the stairs to the nearest bathroom, and only bathroom. Ignoring the Emmett and Jasper's hysterical laughter and Edward's pleading look.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to take a shower and rinse all this junk on me," I growled.

"Oh come on Bella, it's a joke," Jennie attempted to intervene.

" Oh, I know." I attempted a weak smile. "But let's see if you feel like taking a shower after you were poured with maple syrup and covered in feathers and a giant rubber glove on your head when you woke up."

My outburst made an awkward silence. I felt their eyes boring holes in my back as I continued to walk up the steps to take my well deserved shower―a long hot relaxing shower. To forget everything.

After my shower, I don't really remember what happened next. It was all a large blur. But I don't remember going downstairs. I don't even remember having Alice or Anna nagging me to come downstairs with them to join their party. I don't even remembering ever leaving the bathroom. So why am I so comfortable if I'm sleeping in the shower or the bathtub? I was certainly cold enough to have fallen asleep in the bathtub. The only thing I do remember was changing into clean clothes and that's about it.

I opened my eyes slowly to reveal my where abouts.

"Whoa," I murmured still half-asleep. "You're not Alice, or one of my cousins."

He chuckled.

"Would it be better to wake up to them as opposed to me?" his breath tickled my neck causing tremors down my back.

"Mm, I think I prefer you," I closed my eyes once more and turned around so I can snuggle to his chest. "What are they doing anyway?"

I felt him shrug. "I think they're watching some movie and they're talking about the oddest of things."

"Like what?" I asked, partially curious if they were gossiping about me.

"About the wedding plans, girl things, Jacob―oddly enough―and . . . us. You're cousin, Jenna, she's extremely curious about us," Edward edited the stuff out that I already knew―she's suspicious. And Jenna wasn't very subtle about that fact either. Her suspicions and slight mistrust towards the Cullens wasn't exactly a secret.

"Really, she was, was she? What did she ask about, you guys?" I asked, still disoriented from my sleep.

" She asked the strangest of things, like what were our favorite foods and such. And if we've ever watched an Interview with a Vampire or Dracula and," Edward looked slightly amused, "she then asked Alice if she ever got tired and slept."

I raised my head to look at Edward as well as I could in the dark. "And what did Alice say?"

"Nothing," he answered honestly. "She, Rosalie, and Anna just laughed. Poor girls. The three of them are frightening your other cousins with all of their ambiguous comments."

"More like cryptic comments," I mumbled burying my face in Edward's icy indestructible chest.

Edward chuckled.

His grip around my waist tightened briefly, then relaxed.

"What is it?" I asked, slightly drifting off into unconsciousness.

"Nothing, love." I could tell by the blasé tone of his voice that Edward was hiding something from me.

"Tell me," I inquired, but it wasn't as forceful as I'd imagine. I guess my will to sleep at the moment was stronger than whatever what Jenna―and it was obviously Jenna―was thinking.

Edward pressed his lips to my hair. "It doesn't matter right now, just sleep now Bella, sleep."

He sang my lullaby as usual, and I drifted off into my dreamland, pushing aside whatever Jenna did or thought that troubled Edward.

In the morning however, I was completely aware. I sat up to see Edward leisurely sitting on his long black couch that was pressed up against the wall. The deluded light, due to the permanent presence of the clouds coming in from the window hurt my eyes momentarily.

"What did she do now?" I demanded, my voice still weak from sleep.

"Which one?" Edward asked slightly amused. "Alice, Anna, or Jenna?"

"Um, all?"

His lips were pressed in a hard line before breaking out into a slightly forced grin.

" Well, Alice tried to make the rest of them stay up all night, which it didn't work, of course. So they're sleeping right now. Anna said somethings that I really wished she shouldn't have said. But they―your cousins―told some interesting stories about you," Edward's grin was genuine now. "I didn't know that you were terrified of the color purple for the longest of time because of that giant fake dinosaur―Barney."

I winced. "He was creepy. Dancing around in the nude singing songs to little kids. Besides, I had a dream about him as a kid, and he was all mad and scary; he burnt down my home."

"I see," Edward nodded in understandably, still grinning. "I can see how the presence of a giant purple dinosaur burning down your house would cause you to think the color purple is heinous. And I completely agree," Edward said suppressing a laugh.

I glared at him. "I was only six, I didn't know he was just a man in a suit!"

Edward shook his head chuckling. "Of course you didn't."

"And what did Jenna do?" I asked, putting him back on track.

His jaw clenched. "Why don't you ask her yourself? She's got Anna hostage at the door and is itching to ask you herself, but she's too terrified to open the door and to see us. Together."

"What?" I asked puzzled by his words.

Edward rolled his eyes, then indicated towards the large bed I was resting on.

"Oh. Oh!" my face turned a shade of pink. "Well, maybe if someone wasn't so impossibly moral."

"Someone has to be the responsible one," Edward sat up. "That and I think she's a bit intimidated by me."

"I can't think of a singly idea why she'd be intimidated," I said with thick sarcasm.

Edward kissed me briefly on the lips. He strode to the door, pausing when his fingers were on the brim of the brass doorknob. He shifted aside and opened the door.

Jenna fell down landing on her side, shoulder first.

"I told you he'd do that," Anna grumbled stepping over Jenna's body. She headed for the bed, pausing for a second.

"A bed!" she forced excitement into her voice before she fell on the golden sheets and breathed in the sheets.

"Well, hello there," Edward said to Jenna with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. He held a hand out, knowing that she wouldn't take it.

"Hi," she answered, embarrassed of being caught in the act. She picked her self up and stood awkwardly in the room.

"Well," Edward clapped his hands together. "I'll leave you ladies alone so you can . . . chat. I'll start breakfast."

Anna snorted. "You're going to cook?" Anna didn't hide any skepticism in her voice.

Edward narrowed his eyes with a playful smile. "And?"

"When you made eggs you don't cook them with the egg shells on," Anna muttered sarcastically while she pulled herself into the covers and snuggled close to me.

He rolled his eyes, "I know that."

"Well, who knows how they cooked food last time you had a decent meal."

I elbowed her in the ribs and Edward just let out a brief chuckle at her comment before heading downstairs. Anna had forgotten that Jenna was still in the room, but I'm guessing that it didn't matter now because of the look Jenna was giving Edward the entire time―it was a combination of disgust and fear.

"I wanted to talk to you too about something," Jenna announced closing the door.

"Okay."

"Can't we do this at a decent hour?" Anna grumbled.

"Anna, it's ten-thirty," Jenna replied dryly.

" I meant a decent hour for me," she retorted pulling the sheets over her head.

"I know that the Cullens are vampires," she blurted out.

Anna shot up from the bed.

"Uh-oh."