Life As We Know ItTitle:
Song: I've got a dark Ally and A Bad idea that you should shut your mouth
Artist: Fallout Boy
February 22
P O V: Nathan
"And the record won't stop skipping
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me"
Brooke had been laying there for over a week watching re watching Peyton's videos. That was her favorite one so far. "Babe wanna get up and start decorating?" "Is Sophia out?" "Yes cool lets go than" Helping her up Haley and I each took a side. She was so weak now she could barely stand on her own for longer than five minutes even with Quinn coming every day to work out with her.
She amazed me though as tired as I know she was she worked through her exhaustion moving furniture out of the way. Hanging streamers banners which all the kids had helped make. Blowing up balloons hanging collages of pictures her family had brought in which Brooke put together over the last few weeks.
The whole thing took about three hours she had to stop every few minutes to rest suck on some oxygen or close her eyes. "I hope she loves it" "She will baby she will" Haley reassured her wrapping her arm around Brooke's shoulders. After three hours Brooke and Quinn went back to her room so she could rest while Haley and I did the rest sneaking kisses in between balloons.
Around five pm we woke Brooke up so she could shower and get ready Sophia's parents had kept her occupied. She was weak but not as weak as earlier. Haley helped her shower. After I took my own in the spare room I went into her bathroom to check on them. Okay so I also didn't mind the glance at a naked Haley give me a break I am 15 horny and deprived.
I rushed out just as they came out of the shower. "I look horrible!" Brooke called out tears building up in her eyes we had been trying to keep her form the mirror but she's a teenage girl it was impossible the moment Haley went to pee she grabbed the mirror off the wall. I ran inside hearing Brooke's cries. Wrapping my arms around her I pulled her to me. "Brooke you are beautiful stop putting yourself down, beauty is eternal you have the most beautiful ray of light that shines through" Haley hugged her tight. "Brooke I know it's hard one day you're swelling up with fluid or effects of the steroids, than you're losing so much weight you can't even stand" You're eyes are sunken in, you have rashes I know you feel ugly, you are not ugly Brooke everything you are going through will build you're strength, start thinking positively, repeat after me Brooke Penelope Davis." She spun Brooke around taking her face in her hands. Staring deep into her eyes. "What lies behind me and what lies in front of me, pales in comparison to what lies inside of me. Brooke There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
Slowly she repeated after Haley.
"What lies behind me and what lies in front of me, pales in comparison to what lies inside of me. There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
Haley gently kissed her face all over brushing away her tears pulling her to her. After a few more minutes Brooke was ready to get dressed. I couldn't help but stare at her though she had lost so much weight she was down from 120 pounds to 75. She couldn't eat she tried so hard everyday we were feeding her but she kept throwing up or having diarrhea. Her mouth was covered in sores going down her throat. Everything burned so badly it was like swallowing acid every time she tried to eat or drink. She bled constantly, the chemo made sweet things turn sour. She wanted to eat so bad she was so hungry thanks to the steroids she just couldn't. It's hell for me seeing her suffer.
Her eyes were sunken in dark circles lined under them they were blood shot, her skin was covered in rashes, blisters. So makeup was impossible because it burned her more. Her chest had two long scars from the ports in them, mom kept assuring her it was temporary yet to Brooke it didn't matter in this moment all she saw was something making her look different. Just lower south from her scars was some discoloration from the Radiation her skin was dry and flaky, She was so very pale. Her nails had become discolored, ridged. A slight bluish cast had settled around her lips and nails from lack of oxygen. I noticed her hair had become thinner around her eyebrows, I didn't say anything to her. I wasn't sure how she would take it when it started falling out. I wanted to talk to her but I just didn't know how to approach her. I made a mental note to talk to Haley or Quinn tonight. Kissing her forehead I whispered to her. "Brooke you have the most beautiful eyes ever, so full of life love hope laughter they sparkle, your smile it lights up a room. I want you to look in the mirror and see what we see not focus on what your mind is telling you to see"
Haley slipped her Towel off and helped her get into her bra and panties which were a cute pair of red roses covering them, next she slipped on a pair of jean shorts and the Jersey Peyton had sent her with her nickname on it. P. Sawyer. It was hell for me to get it off of her so I could wash it she slept in it every night.
In typical Brooke fashion as soon as we reached the sunroom which was filled with teens and parents from the unit she sucked up her feelings and plastered on a brilliant smile. We waited in the crowd for Sophia to come with her family. She started giving order where people should stand to fix decorations that had been moved. It was great seeing her back in action even if she was being bossy.
"Surprise!" We shouted out as she came in gasping covering her mouth "Happy Sweet 16 Sophia!" "Oh my lord you all didn't...How did…." She started crying hard as we all ran to her embracing her "Thank you Brooke you did this didn't you?" She never denied it but she didn't take credit for it either. Sophia hugged her tighter as she cried. I saw Haley's eyes fill with tears as we moved back to let them have their moment. "What's wrong don't tell me your one of those girly girls who cries at sappy movies, love songs and dog commercials" "So what if I am?" "Than I might have to kiss you" "Oh I might have to say yes than" 'Are you okay?" "Yeah I'm sorry it's just so emotional seeing these kids reach a milestone you didn't think they would reach I just I worry you know..She's so sick she seems so depressed right now, she's putting on a show for Sophia but what if Brooke doesn't live to see her 16th Birthday?"
"She will Haley" She will" I said the words with so much force so much conviction I saw Haley flinch and Brooke turn yet inside I worried, I wondered and I shock with fear would she? Would Brooke live to see 16?