Authors note: sorry for the late update, hopefully I'll be able to update once every week or two. BT
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of MGLN!
Interview 30: Wife's Fury
BT: welcome folks to a never ending crazy episode of Interview Hell, I'm your host BT
Cameraman: errr... why is it only you and me boss?
BT: ah yes, today we've been invited by our guest to her house to do the interview, she asked specifically not to have the others... you can guess what might happen
Cameraman: but Ginga wouldn't do anything... well maybe
BT: do you want to argue with our guest?
Cameraman: on second thought I'll pass... I want to attend that going out thing we all arranged for tonight on my feet, not in a wheel chair… scratch that I don't want to go there in a coffin!!!
BT: let's pray we'll come out of this episode lives intact... and alive
Two kids ran by, one carrying a replica of Bardice while the other held Raising Heart... should I get the coffins ready for you guys?
Cameraman: ... can I give a call to Ginga?
BT: ...yes you may... anyway today's guest has seen the rise of the NanoFate relationship from an early age, has been receiving training in the arts of pain to be used on a certain straying husband, also she's the proud wife of the beating bag known as Chrono Harlaown, please give a loud applause to Amy Harlaown!
From the kitchen Amy comes out bearing a tray of tea and biscuits, as well as a well used blood drenched baseball bat... by any chance that's Chrono exclusive beating bat???
Amy: sorry for the wait, here's your coffee with ten lumps of sugar BT, and the milk tea with no sugar for the Cameraman
BT: thank you
Cameraman: boss do you have a sweet tooth or something?
BT: you don't want to know... anyway first off before I start, are the kids been good boys?
Amy: oh yes they have been, they been very good since the last time Arf and Fate came by
Cameraman: oh, that's right Fate's really good with kids
Amy: yes, she's also been looking after her younger self and Nanoha younger self as well. I feel so nostalgia whenever I see their younger selves, it brings back memories of the random carnage from a few Starlight Breakers, as well as a few carnage fest whenever the boys try hitting on Fate. Ah, good times
BT look to the Cameraman who simply shrugs… with great powers comes with great casualties…
BT: anyway moving on, what's your relationship like with the aces?
Amy: very friendly, i remember the times Fate would bring Hayate and Nanoha over, the things they did would make any fan squeal at them as they try out new clothes and talked about relationship and so on, then the time came when Nanoha introduce Fate to adult life, I still got a video of it if you want a copy of it.
BT: I feel doom is approaching somehow...
Cameraman: I haven't even written my goodbye to Ginga!!!
Amy: is there something wrong?
From outside they could hear fans, of the said aces, begging for a copy of the video… I want one too!!!
BT: were you serious in giving us a copy of it?
Amy: of course, I know you won't do anything naughty with them
Cameraman: as much as I like to have it I'm married
BT: I have to decline as well, in the interest of my personal health and all of my staffs.
Amy: is that so, what a shame, still I'm sure that your commentator will like one
BT and the cameraman look to one another wondering could the Commentator be trusted... don't worry; I'm not an insane fanboy that will post the pictures on the net for everyone to drool over...
BT: like hell I'm going to trust you!
CameramanL hear, hear, he'll be the first one to get us blasted to kingdom come!!!
BT: let's not dwell on that and move on, how well do you get along with Lindy?
Amy: very well, she wished I was daughter, I love helping her cook, clean, sow, keeping Chrono sister complex in check, mauling anyone that makes my kids cry, berating Nanoha whenever she blasts Chrono when I wanted to beat him up for something, helping Lindy deal with the troublesome council that's trying to ban her from using the Arc-en-ceil cannon and...
BT: I think that's MORE than enough...
Cameraman: the last half was all about causing pain against Chrono... is that bad or good?
BT: frankly I don't even want to know which one it is! Next question, was your weeding a happy event?
Amy: of course it is I was thrilled when we got married!
BT: I'm just wondering did Chrono try to feel Fate up...
Amy he tried but I reminded him with a smile and my chainsaw to cut the cake, Nanoha was very helpful in using RH in Exellion mode to scoop the cakes onto each of the plates.
Cameraman: I'm hoping Nanoha isn't going to do the same thing at my wedding day
BT: let's pray not, anyway before you were married how close were you with Chrono?
Amy: we were very much in love, we dated a few times, shared a few special nights, spanking him a few times when he try to jump Fate, "re-educating" Chrono about sneaking into Fate's room and…
Voice: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Something zoomed by and is whacked by Amy's baseball bat out of the window before BT and the cameraman could see who it was… let's play that in slow motion shall we? OK, we have Chrono running in with his arms flailing in painc, we have Amy readying the baseball bat, now she swings it and hits Chrono. It's going… going… going and gone! HOME RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
Cameraman: I don't even want to know what that was about
BT: at least we agree on that, next question how good friends are you with Yunno?
Amy: very good, he's been very helpful with looking after the kids whenever I want to go out for a bit, whenever I come back the kids are always happy
Cameraman: Yunno is such a nice guy
BT: too nice if you ask me
Amy: he do lament about his lost screen time, he's even sent a few hundred letters of request for some screen time
BT: which got rejected, right?
Cameraman: well Yunno do have a large hate base fan
Amy: that's true, he's such a nice guy
BT: let's move on or else he's going to run onto the show and scream how unfortunate he is
Outside Amy's house, Yunno tries desperately to run into the house while been restrained by the Cameramen
Yunno: my screen time!!!!!
Arf: you had plenty of screen time already!!!
Marine: should I break his legs?
Samurai: and become his personal bondage dummy???
Fans: HAND HIM OVER!!!!!!!
Everyone looks back to find a lot of fans standing with weapons in their hands, someone held up the banner that said, "Perverted Beast Destroyers!" with a picture of a ferret been gutted in the most agonising way… WOOOO, Yunno haters unite!
Marine: like hell we are, BT would have our hides if we simply gave him to you guys!
Samurai: like that time we left and Yunno got jumped by a mob of fan haters, only to be saved by Reinforce a moment later?
Fan: we don't care we want him to exact revenge for his perverted ways!!!
At this point a pirate ship crash through the battalion of fans, a few are crushed by the ship sudden appearance, then a few more got crushed when the anchor is dropped, the pirate cameraman jumps down with his crew members and began to fight the fans… I would like to mention that we're fifty miles in land… so how in yellow donkey butts name did they get that ship here!!
Inside the house they could hear the faint sound of a battle been take place outside, BT looks a little troubled at how Amy told her kids to go upstairs and play their little game called "shoot the noisy ones"… how many RH and Bardiche are there!
BT: I dread to think about that
Cameraman: why in screw balls name would anyone want to build more of them?
BT: I wouldn't like to know, in the interest of my personal health. Anyway we have a few questions from RF.
Cameraman: it seems we're getting fewer questioners of late
BT: can't blame them can we? Anyway the first question is, "have you ever thought of catching Chrono in a bed with another woman?"
Amy: plenty of times
Cameraman: like who?
Amy: the first would be Lotte and Aria, those two have been leaving these naughty messages to Chrono of how good he was when they use to train with them. I believed my husband when he said that it's a complete lie about what they said, but to be on the safe side I taught him what will happen if he did slept with either of them
BT: why do I feel like been a man is a bad thing right now?
Cameraman: who else then?
Amy: well the next person would be Nanoha, I teased Chrono that Nanoha would probably make a good wife for him, now that I think about it Chrono would probably never made it past fifteen if he had Nanoha as his girlfriend
Cameraman: errr… somehow I got this feeling that Fate probably changed her personality when Nanoha got her hands on her…
BT: more than likely, then what about Fate?
Amy: my dear husband has been trying very hard not jump her knowing that if he did he'll probably be blown apart by Nanoha, then I'll have to Neuter him.
Both BT and the Cameraman felt like running away from Amy as fast as possible… at least we know whose the man of the house.
BT:… moving on… "any reason as to why you chose Chrono as your husband?"
Amy: I'm not too sure, maybe I liked him when we first met
Cameraman: how did you guys met?
Amy: it was years ago, when we first met he was a timid boy. He was really cute as I played tricks on him, like making him watch two men going at him for twenty four hours, or that time I made him my dog for a week and that other time I…
BT: please stop!!
Cameraman: maybe that's why he's so messed up, he spend time with Amy then was shifted off to the cats… no wonder he tries finding something to keep him sane!
BT: so you liked him because you liked how you tor… teased him when you were young?
Amy: not just that, there was this time when he defended me from this stray dog, I was so scared that I simply cried, Chrono leapt at the dog and bit it's tail. That's probably why I fell in love with him when he showed how manly he was.
Cameraman:… that don't sound like a manly thing…
BT: I think we owe Chrono some apology… anyway last question, "answer this honestly...thinking of something kinky right now?"
Amy: hmmmm…. I have a hankering for whipped cream… freshly made by whipping Chrono of course
Both BT and the Cameraman quickly ran to the toilet and emptied whatever they had for the last two days before returning looking a little thin… I would be in a similar position if I was to imagine Chrono been used as a cream mach… MY MIND!!! MY PURE MIND THAT THINGS OF GIRLS HAS THOUGHT OF CHRONO IN THE MOST DISGUSTING WAY EVER!!!!!!!!
BT:… urk… we've come to the end of the show
Amy: over already, I was hoping of telling you the time I made Chrono walk into work wearing nothing but diapers as practice for my kids.
Cameraman: is it me or is Amy a little Sadistic when it comes to Chrono?
BT: let's not even ask, anyway next week we're going to finally interview Reinforce II!
Cameraman: finally, we've been putting her off of late because of your phobia of Hayate and her cosplay
BT: don't worry I'm cured… I think…
The front door opens allowing Yunno to finally appear in the spot light, he's followed by the Cameramen who look like they been in a battle, the girls on the other hand came in perfectly clean… if those fans so much as lay a finger on them I'm going to personally neuter them… with a Rugby ball!
Alicia: you're finished?
Cameraman: just
Arisa: good, so can we get dinner ready?
Amy: sure
Ginga: I'm going to show off my cyborg mode: Apron Chef!
The cameraman has a massive nose bleed at the thought… ME TOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
BT: anyway thanks for watching, this is BT signing off.
Vivi: uncle BT can you drink my new super improved energy drink?
BT is handed a steel cup with some black boiling liquid, he wonder is it even safe when he notice the cup is dissolving, he looks back to Vivi who simply gives a radiating smile… either drink it and die a painful death OR make Vivi cry and bring down the Aces onto your head, your choice BT.