July 2nd (Day 7, Night)

A hand grabs hold of Ping's arm, and she turns back around in fear. "You will pay attention when I speak to you."

Ping takes an unsteady breath, "Of course, Father."

He lets go of his tight grip, "If you don't want your entire family to become homeless, then you will do as I say."

"I understand."

Her father smiles but anger is still apparent beneath his expression, "You will marry Li Shang within the month, you will consummate your marriage, and you will bear children to continue our family's legacy."

Ping takes an unsteady breath, "Yes, Father."

He towers over her, "You will enact the duties of a daughter and woman, and whatever you remember from your time as a man you will forget. You will not disobey this by doing any activities only men are allowed, and if you mention any memory of being a man, then we will not acknowledge it. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Father." There's silence as Fa Zhou looks at her with judging eyes. "But what about the festival? The emperor has ordered me to be there."

"You are a woman. Pretending to be a man is a waste of time and will only distract you from your duties. I'm sure if I explain our situation, then the emperor will understand."

"But—"

"But nothing. You have no say in this, and from now on you will only speak when spoken to." Ping can only nod. "How I ever ended up with a daughter like you is beyond me."

Ping opens her mouth, about to say that she wasn't really his daughter, but as she looks over herself she realizes nothing could ever convince him of that. She shuts her mouth, flustered, before her mother comes in with the food. They sit down at the table, and Ping gets stares of discontent until she realizes she's supposed to serve to tea. "Sorry." She begins with her father, then mother, and lastly herself, before she does the same with the food.

Fa Li notices the very small amount that Ping offers herself, "You can have more."

Ping shakes her head as she moves some items around the plate, "I'm not very hungry."

Fa Zhou turns to his wife, "Where is the general?"

Fa Li takes a sip of tea, "He's in the fields." She takes another sip. "What a fine man he is. So hard working and generous."

"I should go help him."

Ping stands up, but her father points a finger at her, "No. The fields are man's work." He looks down on her plate. "You haven't eaten anything. I expect you to finish those crumbs you gave yourself."

Ping looks at the small dumplings, wondering how they could have been compared to crumbs, before she sits down and nibbles on one. Throughout the meal she's given glances, which show she should be eating more, but by the end of the meal only one of the two dumplings are finished. Her mother comments, "You need to start eating more."

"Sorry," Ping lies as she remembers the consequences. "I'm just not very hungry."

Fa Li takes a frustrated breath, "Come on. It's time for your sewing lesson."

Ping sees her mother turn around and begins to follow, before her stomach stabs her with a pang of hunger and he awakes. His stomach growls, and he begins to feel sick, but he knows the feeling will still be there even if he decides to eat. So, what's the point?

Ping stands up feeling light headed, but his mind holds a sense of clarity, so he walks through the dim, morning light to the wardrobe. His breathing is shallow as he takes out blue and green fabrics, but he walks steadily as he makes his way to the washroom.

After Ping finishes getting ready and comes back in from the well he puts the bucket of water on the wooden kitchen table. He looks around the room and finds many meals preserved, so he takes out the dumplings and recooks them. The smell makes him gag, but as usual nothing comes and he can only hold his stomach as it finally whines.

When the food and tea are finished Ping walks to the dining room and sets them on the table, but he's surprised to see his mother walk in, "What are you doing?"

Fa Li gives her daughter a surprised look, "What am I doing? What are you doing up?" She gestures to the food, "And what is this?" Ping can't tell whether his mother is proud or disappointed. "The sun has only just risen. How do you already have breakfast ready?"

Ping shrugs, "I just woke up. I thought so long as I'm awake, I should be useful." He sees his mother's eyes tired and wide with shock. "I also fed the chickens and got some water from the well."

"That's wonderful." Fa Li smiles, and her eyes begin to water, "I'm so proud of you."

Ping tries to smile, "I'm just doing what any daughter would."

Fa Li hears creaks from the hallway, "It sounds like they smell the food. Why don't you sit down, while I check on the condition of the kitchen?"

"What, you don't trust me?"

His mother shakes her head, "No. Of course, I do. It's just— I just need to know that everything's in decent condition. People make mistakes. You may have missed something."

"Okay. Fine. How about you do that and I continue to work the fields." His mother gives him a concerned look. "Don't worry. I already ate."

Shang walks into the kitchen and looks at Ping in puzzlement, "You're— You look—"

Fa Li smiles, "I know. Doesn't she look beautiful?" She puts a hand up in thought. "Granted, she could be wearing makeup, but this is perfect attire for the house."

Ping gives Shang an embarrassed look, as he remembers Mushu's confusion when he had asked for him to put his hair up that morning. Shang sees him try to smile, but with the attire Ping wears Shang can't help but feel the entire situation is just wrong. This is getting ridiculous. If there comes a time where I do see him wearing makeup, then I'm not sure I'll be able to keep quiet any longer.

Shang shakes his head in stress as he sits down, and Fa Li comments, "What? You don't believe my daughter is beautiful?"

Shang laughs, "No. They are. It's just—"

"Just what?"

Shang turns from Fa Li's confusion to Ping's scared expression, "Nothing." He turns back to the food, "I'm just not used to it." before he sees Fa Zhou come in with a wide smile.

"You look beautiful this morning."

Ping looks over his dress and lack of binding in confusion and disgust, "Thanks, Father." I think. He rubs the back of his neck as his parents stare at him, "Well, I hope you enjoy the meal." Ping bows. "I'm just going to attend the fields, since, you know, I already ate."

Fa Zhou sits down after his daughter leaves and looks at his wife, "Did she really eat?"

Fa Li gives an unsure look, now realizing her assumption could be wrong, "She said she did."

Shang sees Fa Zhou glowering and recalls Ping's fidgety behavior about the missing carrots, "Don't worry. I'll make sure he eats something for lunch." Shang sees Ping's parents look at him in slight horror and confusion, before he amply corrects himself, "She. She. I said she."

Fa Li stays completely still, "No. You didn't." Is he encouraging this?

Grandmother Fa comes in with a calm smile, "Give the poor lad a break." and sits. "He no doubt had nightmares about the war. It's only natural Ping would have been in them, and since Ping and Mulan are one in the same it's an understandable mistake."

Fa Zhou watches as his wife pours everyone the tea, "Mother. Mulan is not Ping. Ping is just some facade Mulan put on, so she wouldn't be killed." He expects her to respond but continues when she doesn't. "Mulan is Mulan, a woman. She even dressed in proper attire today." He grabs his teacup, "Sorry if I don't think his mistake is understandable."

Shang cowers in awkwardness as he hurries to finish the dumplings, but he's noticed and Fa Li asks, "Did you like Mulan better as Ping?"

Shang pretends to laugh as Grandmother Fa looks at Li in disapproval, but Fa Zhou stares at him in interest so he continues seriously, "Ping was a great soldier." Shang stares down at the empty plate as he tries to pull the next words out of his mouth. "But I'm sure Mulan will make a better bride." He looks up and sees Ping's parents look at him with worry and suspicion, but with one acknowledging look from Grandmother Fa he gulps down his tea and stands from the table. He takes a restless breath, "I'm just going to go and help them." before he turns around and exits the room.

When Shang makes it to the tea field he stays silent, only a smile to greet him as he begins to help harvest the trees. The quiet has a tension to it, but it's friendly and knowledgeable. He looks over at the person in the dress, as they stumble over the hem and it tears. The person growls, and Shang smiles, "Hey. At least it wasn't an outfit you liked." He hadn't meant it to be a test, but after noticing the sincere reaction Shang can tell the man he knows still exists under that dress. He shuts his eyes only for a moment, "How long is this going on for?"

Ping slides down the tree and sits within its roots, "I don't think it can stop."

Shang shakes his head, "No. It will stop."

"No, it won't." Ping lays his face in his hands, "I should have just stayed quiet. I shouldn't have said anything." He looks at Shang. "Admitting this to you was a mistake. This was all just a huge mistake."

Shang sees the tears fall to Ping's face, "Being honest— being yourself— isn't a mistake."

Ping tries to wipe the tears away, but more fall, "It seems like one." He takes a shaky breath, "I mean, what if I had just stayed quiet? What if I just did what I was told and expected to do for once?"

"Then you'd still be uncomfortable with yourself."

Ping looks at the stable ground, "That doesn't matter."

"Of course, it matters." Ping doesn't react to his passion. "When you take away yourself, what is even left?"

"Honor. Family. Duty." Ping clasps his hands, "Nothing else matters, or at least nothing should."

Shang takes a few steps closer, "This matters." He doesn't look up. "You can't honor your family by pretending to be something you're not very good at."

Ping whispers, "I still have duties, Shang."

"And how do you expect to get those done?" Shang knows that by this point he's yelling, but he can't help it. "You don't even eat, because you're so afraid of what could happen. Are you telling me that after all of this, you're just going to let it happen and then enact the duties of a wife for nine months straight?" He takes a breath in an attempt to settle down, "I don't think you could."

Ping shakes his head, "I'll have to. I don't have a choice."

Shang's mouth opens slightly in disbelief, "You told me that when it happens you think about killing yourself. If it happens and I'm not here, then you could die."

"I don't think about killing myself. I think about stabbing myself."

"Same difference. You'll still end up dead." Ping can only sit in thought, so Shang goes over and sits next to him. "I'm sorry. It's just—" He lifts his head up and sees several tears, "I love you, Ping. I don't want to lose you. I can't."

"I know." Ping leans on Shang and holds his hand. "I love you too." Shang tightens their hold, as he's afraid it will disappear and the one he loves will be gone forever.

- Man. Ping's dream Father is so much more scary. I wish he'd just say the truth, so all of that anxiety and fear wouldn't manifest in such a way.