Author's note: HeyHey, so as you might've noticed I'm not updating everyday anymore .

At the moment I am stuck... seriously stuck... and I HATE IT. I've got chapter 39 almost ready, but after that I just... I know how I want to continue, but how I'm gonna fill chapter 40 is like.. BWAH I DON'T KNOW.

Ok sorry, I'm just annoyed by myself, that's all. Soooo... I know it's hard to think of ways to continue a chapter that's not even online yet, but if you've got ideas, go ahead and let me know haha. Of course you can also just read and wait for me to figure out what my problem is and get on writing... I'll get chapter 40 done eventually...

Hope you like this chapter anyways, please do review and let me know ^^

Chapter 38

Kaitlinn's POV

I watched them leave, my arms crossed over my chest in an attempt to calm my nerves. I couldn't seem to get a good grip on those nerves though, there was something about seeing them disappear that unsettled me. Maybe it was the fact that we were splitting the group up, again, the same as we'd done twice already and let's be honest, neither of those times had played out all that well.

I could also be because Zayn was going with them, which meant I couldn't keep an eye on him myself. He wasn't going alone though, so that couldn't be it, could it?

There was a huge difference compared to the other times we had split up. Robert was with them. He'd gone on this trip more than a hundred by himself, so the truth was I didn't have that much reason to feel nervous. If he had been able to survive on his own, than Daryl was sure to be able to protect himself and Zayn at the very least.

Daryl

We hadn't said a word to each other this morning. Actually the only time I even looked at him had been while weighing my options on letting Zayn go or not. The thought of not being able to protect him made me feel uneasy, but I knew that I could trust Daryl enough to still protect him, even if we weren't doing all that well.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to talk to him, more than anything. I wanted to be able to just act normal again but I had no idea how I could even think about doing that. If I started acting like nothing happened, then what? Would we just forget about everything? Forget that we ever even kissed? Because if that was what was going to happen, I didn't want that, I didn't want-

Suddenly I realized why I was feeling nervous. It wasn't because of the group splitting up again, or Zayn going along with them, it was because of Daryl. I was afraid that now that we were 'fighting', or rather just ignoring each other, that I might lose him. All those stories you always hear about people fighting with those they care about and then losing them, I was afraid that was exactly what was going to happen. What if he died? Or what if he just left. They were going to a town that was probably a lot better than camping outside with a group of people who didn't even like him. What reason did he have to return if the one person who had acted normal towards him, me, wasn't even doing that anymore?

Of course Daryl wasn't a guy who would 'just' leave something behind when he sees something better, but that conviction didn't stop my stomach from doing nervous backflips as they disappeared between the trees.

Please come back

I thought as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. That kiss had affected me in ways I'd rather not think too much about, especially not as he didn't seem to be affected in the same way whatsoever. I let go of the breath I'd held and turned back to Lisbeth as I pushed all thoughts away and tried to empty my head of any unnecessary worries. They would come back, they had to, at least that was what I convinced myself of.

"You needed help with some things?" I asked her with as happy a smile I could muster.

She eyed me a second, seemingly confused by the forced happiness she saw right through, before returning the smile. I was grateful she didn't comment on the mask I was wearing right now, while at the same time I kind of wanted her to. It would be good to just talk to someone about it, someone who didn't have any prejudices towards Daryl.

"I do," She said with a smile, ready to distract me with chores. "We can start with the dishes if you don't mind." She looked from me to Andrea, questioning us with her eyes. The both of us shared a glance and shrugged, "Fine with me." I answered.

"I don't mind either." Andrea said. "To be honest, and I'd never thought I'd say this, I think I'd love to do the dishes."

That made all of us chuckle as we headed back inside, towards the kitchen. As I called Kirra and Nico, to come and help us out, I wondered how Lisbeth stayed sane while her husband was out. I was already going crazy with worry, and they hadn't even been gone for five minutes.

Lucky for me, and my nerves, I would be too busy today to think about it too much. At least I thought I would be.

Andrea was right. If you would've told me a few months ago that one day I'd be happy to be able to do the dishes, I would've laughed right in your face and call you insane. But now, I was actually enjoying it.

Lisbeth had told us that she did the dishes every three days, so they wouldn't waste too much water. That was the reason the dirty plates, glasses and silverware were mostly piled up on the kitchen counter, waiting to be cleaned. I'd noticed the pile this morning, but for some reason I hadn't thought of it as strange. Now though, as I was able to think about it some more, it's actually one of the strangest things I have seen in the past few weeks.

In a normal world piled up dishes weren't anything out of the ordinary, it just indicated there was no dishwasher, or that it was broken. Today, it was amazing that they had even gotten dirty really. If I hadn't known about the town I would've wondered where they'd gotten their food from to put on the plates.

Cleaning them wasn't a punishment though, not anywhere near it. It made us feel normal again, happy even.

Lisbeth was standing in front of the sink, using a brush and detergent to clean. My job, together with Nico and Kirra, who had been jumping in excitement when they found out they could help, were drying the dishes Lisbeth cleaned using three fresh towels. I had to admit that I was doing most of the work, Kirra and Nico rather playing with the soap bubbles than actually drying plates, but I didn't mind.

Andrea was the one to put everything that was clean back in the kitchen cabinets Lisbeth pointed out.

There was something in the air, Kirra's soft chuckles combined with the scent of soap made it all feel homely and safe. It made all of us forget about the horrors outside this room, forget about what was waiting for us eventually. Every time that safe feeling took a hold over me though, it reminded me of how unsafe Daryl and Zayn were right now. The worst thing of all, was that I didn't seem to be able to get that thought out of my head in this silence. I had to get people talking, or I would slowly go insane with worry.

So Robert goes to the town once a week?" I asked Lisbeth as I took another plate from her, drying it quickly and handing it to Andrea who put it in the cabinet. It wasn't just a question to distract me, even though right now that was the main thing behind it, it was also something I was curious about. I hadn't heard of towns that were still 'alive', if that's what you want to call it. It was something that felt foreign and new but at the same interesting.

"Yes, mostly." Lisbeth said with a small smile in my direction. "We try to keep up with the gossip out of town." She chuckled. "Some weeks though he decides that it's better to stay here. Weeks with, for example, unusual walker activity. The town isn't far, but the road can be quite dangerous at times."

Oh great, now that makes me feel better.

She saw my expression and smiled reassuringly, "They'll be fine, dear. He always is."

I wish her words could reassure me, but they didn't. I was good at keeping my face composed this time around though, and so the smile I gave her convinced her that I had in fact been reassured.

"Don't you ever worry?" Andrea asked her as she opened another cabinet to see where the cups went.

"Over there," Lisbeth said, gesturing towards the right cabinet. Andrea nodded gratefully and put the cups away one by one, in order.

"I am more than worried," She then answered. "That's why I sometimes decide to go with him instead of just staying behind and wait for him to return."

That was what I should've done, gone with them. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to put Kirra and Nico in any unnecessary dangers, and I wouldn't even think about leaving them behind again. Plus if I'd come along I wouldn't have had some time to think about Daryl, like I had now. The question was, did I really want to think about him?

"What's it like?" Andrea's next question was as she leaned against the counter and faced Lisbeth.

"It's amazing," Lisbeth started, looking up at us with a wondrous smile. "After the outbreak several towns were wiped out. All the survivors from there found each other and started over with the supplies they could find in a town that was abandoned by the previous inhabitants." She put the last bit of silverware in the sink and started cleaning those as she continued. "They found several farm animals alive in the barns, which was a miracle really, and started taking care of them. Now they produce everything in that little town, from meat, to milk, to sweaters from real wool."

Andrea smiled at the thought, a spark in her eyes as she imagined what the town must look like. I started imagining it as well, wondering what it would be like to live a normal life there. That thought resulted in me asking the most obvious question,

"Why don't you go and live there instead of having to walk the distance every time you need supplies?"

Her smile didn't leave her face as she looked up at me. "Our son." She simply stated. "He grew up here. We just couldn't leave all those memories behind."

That was something I could understand, even though I knew it was an irrational reason. It had been hard to leave the house behind when Sarah had suddenly disappeared and I had to get out of there with the kids. I hadn't had much time to overthink my decision, if I had I might not have gone after all. If I'd been alone, I'm sure I would've stayed. So yeah, I could understand the couple's reasoning quite well.

"Don't you worry about walkers?" I asked then, which was the reason I had had to leave my house behind.

"Dear," Lisbeth started with a light chuckle and a shake of her head. "There are so many things you have to worry about. Before the outbreak it was thieves, murderers, animals, diseases and natural disasters. We didn't worry too much about them, now did we? So why would we worry about this?"

That was something I hadn't expected, and so I couldn't help but stare at her for a second. Of course in a way she was right, there were so many things to worry about in life. But to talk about it so casually while living in the middle of the woods, was even more foreign to her than the mentioned town.

"I wish I could think like that." Andrea muttered. I didn't necessarily agree with her but I nodded anyway.

"You shouldn't." Lisbeth countered, pulling the plug out of the sink and letting the water drain away. She turned towards us with a serious look in her eyes and a slight frown on her face. "You have to look at it like you think is best." She continued, starting her explanation. "Robert and I are old, we've lived a life and we could die happy. You're young, you still have a life ahead of you. And that life must be preserved."

The smile returned, pushing the frown off her face. "It's not wrong to fear death," She said next. "It's the only way to stay alive."

That left both of us speechless, Kirra and Nico playing with the foam on the counter, oblivious to what was being said. Of course they were, their innocent minds would never think about death, or talk about death, like this. Nor should we, not in such a casual way.

"Now let's finish up here so we can get to work on other things." She said, breaking the sudden silence that had fallen over the kitchen and gesturing for us to get to work. The heavy atmosphere that had surrounded us just seconds ago evaporated and we felt the same safe and homely feeling as before while we cleaned everything up.

And as before, my thoughts wandered to the group in the woods, wondering if they were still safe.

Daryl's POV

God, was I happy Kaitlinn hadn't come along with us. Not because I didn't want her to be with me, in truth that was the only thing I really wanted. If she was I could at least keep an eye on her and make sure she was safe. I was glad anyway though, it gave me some time to think things through without her being everywhere I looked. The main question racing through my mind, was what I was supposed to do now.

I had wanted to apologize this morning, but I never got around to it. Even now, walking around the woods and actually having to watch out for any surprise attacks from walkers, or humans, I was trying to figure out a way to say sorry to her. Maybe if I got back I would be able to get her alone and we could talk things through. That wasn't something I often did though, 'talking things through' and so I had no idea how I would be able to start that 'talk'. I'd just have to see I guess.

The fact I could think while she wasn't here was just one of the few reasons I was glad she hadn't come along. That she was safe in the house, at least safer than out here, was another reason. I'd been worrying about her safety for the past few weeks and I was glad I finally didn't have to. That still wasn't the main reason though.

The town was.

I was standing behind the others, who were all staring at it as well. Zayn was next to me, Shane, T-Dog, Dale and Robert were in front of me. We'd had different paces while walking, but as we had arrived we all froze at the sight of the town.

It looked much like a normal town in the middle of the woods and I was fairly sure we were looking at the main road right now. There were several buildings, shops and houses to be precise, we could see and that was what was so remarkable about it. The buildings didn't seem damaged in any way. There was even a church sticking out from behind the buildings we could see, though I guessed the church bells had been silenced.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Robert asked with a sense of pride in his voice. Shane looked up at the man standing beside him, agreeing. Robert looked around the group, his eyes eventually landing on me, as if he were waiting for an answer. I didn't give him one, instead I asked a question.

"What exactly is this place?"

I wasn't what to think about what I was seeing. In a way it all looked perfect, but most 'perfect' things turned out to be anything but perfect later on.

He smiled at my question, glad he got the chance of explaining I guessed. He had overcome his distrust towards us during the short journey here, which, to be honest, made me respect him less than before. He was too quick in trusting us. Not that I could complain, he had helped us out and so maybe I should be glad about the fact he trusted us. But still I believed he'd done it too soon.

"A community." He replied, asking for my attention again. "A community that found each other after the outbreak. They help out those in need and protect them, like they do with each other."

It was a simple explanation, but it still sounded good, even in my ears.

"Why don't you go live here?" T-Dog asked suddenly, a glint in his eyes that told me he was interested in his surroundings as he looked around the town.

"Because we didn't want to leave our house behind." Robert explained calmly.

How stupid, I thought, stopping myself from snorting. This place surely was a lot safer than some old farmhouse in the woods. I didn't get to say it though as someone called out to Robert suddenly, waving at him and coming closer with a grin plastered on his face.

"Robert, my man. How are you doing?" A man in his fifties, at least I guessed he was around that age, asked opening his arms up for a hug. Robert smiled and hugged the guy quickly.

"I'm good, John. Thanks for asking."

"And the Misses?" John asked.

"Good," He said. "as always."

That made John chuckle. When he suddenly caught sight of us though he stopped, acting surprised, as if he hadn't seen us standing here before, which was close to impossible if you ask me. He raised his eyebrows as he inspected our group. "And who might these men be?" He asked, sounding slightly suspicious.

"They came to our house, needing help." Robert told him.

The man frowned, "I don't really like the looks of them much." He said, eyeing me in particular. "They look dangerous."

'I am' I wanted to say, not liking the way the guy was eyeing me. Robert was first though, stopping me from saying anything that probably would've provoked a fight. Not that I cared much, actually I was rather disappointed. Fighting was a great way to get my mind off of certain things..

"They had to survive out there, John." Robert said. "It's hard not to look dangerous after going through hell like that."

John inspected me once more before nodding, "I guess you're right." He said hesitantly. "Come on," he directed at the whole group this time. "Let's get you the help you need."

He couldn't know what kind of help we needed, he hadn't even asked us. As we walked towards the town however I noticed Robert explaining the situation to John in a hushed voice, John nodding at certain things the man said. The rest was too busy with taking in the town, probably not noticing the tiny details I did, like for example the woman peering out between the curtains suspiciously at the third house on my right.

That seemed to be an exception though, as I also noticed children playing freely in the yards, playing soccer or tag. Men and women we crossed on the street shot us curious glances and openly greeted Robert and John. Everyone knew everyone around here, and they didn't seem all too reluctant to get to know strangers either. I had to admit that it didn't just sound like a good place, it looked and felt like one as well. Not for me, I didn't handle people all too well and so I wouldn't like staying here at all, but for Kaitlinn and the kids….

The whole reason I was really glad Kaitlinn wasn't with us, was this.

What if she had come along, and seen all this. Would she have wanted to go back? Wouldn't she have rather stayed here with Kirra, Nico and Zayn? I knew she was set on finding Sarah, but that didn't mean this couldn't change her mind. What if she had come along, and had decided to stay? Leave me behind...

What do you mean 'leave me behind'? I asked myself. How can she leave you if she doesn't even belong to you?

That was a question I didn't know the answer to. But there was another question running through my mind to which I didn't even want to know the answer.

What if she did?