"Ouch!" She jerked at the pain and pulled away just a little bit.
"Stop moving, Bones, and it won't hurt so much." He held her chin carefully with one hand trying to keep her still while he cleaned the small cut on her brow line.
"I can do it myself, Booth."
"I'm almost done. Just let me finish, okay?" Gently moving her bangs out of the way he dabbed a little bit of ointment on her cut and pressed the band aid carefully on her brow. Then with great exaggeration and fanfare he kissed it.
"Booth, do you know how many germs are in the mouth?"
"Nope and I don't care, Bones. Besides I don't think germs count when you're kissing to make it better." Pulling her onto his lap he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as he pecked light kisses along her shoulder and neck.
"Booth." Registering her halfhearted protests as she leaned back into him and giggled uncontrollably. Letting several soft sighs escape as she caught her breath. Their bodies swayed back and forth together as they threatened to fall back onto the bed. "I want to go back, Booth."
"I told you, I'll talk to Cullen about it tonight when he calls with the update." It had been five days since Phelps' ankle monitor had registered any kind of location to the monitoring company.
"No, no, not DC. Well, yes, I want to go back to DC as soon as possible but that isn't what I was referring to." The swaying stopped. "I want to go back to the pond."
Booth lay his head on her back as he let his body mold around hers. Going back was difficult to think about. Like the alley behind The Science Club and the emergency room it had become one of those places that would always carry deep painful memories for him. Though she might not admit it he was fairly certain she wanted to go back to reclaim it, a way to show she'd conquered those memories.
He took a deep breath.
"Booth?" She whispered.
"I'm thinking." She rested her hands on his arms as she let her finger run little circles. It was something he did for her when she was upset.
For months she had fought the memories of Dr. Ian Chambers, pushed them away, dismissed them as the power of suggestion, as conjecture, neither logical nor rational. But as her hands dug deep into the earth to find those worms and Booth asked about the bait, it was no longer a deniable thought. It was a vivid and painful memory. Over and over that night in the alley Ian had compared her to bait that must be swallowed. As she lay helpless, unable to fight, he explained away his desires and justified his acts. It was beyond his control, he proffered. Friedrich Nietzsche's fateful words woven through each brutal act.
When she'd made the connection, the bait, the fish, Ian, she was horrified by what it opened up in her mind. She'd needed desperately to sort things out, to just think. The pond had been so peaceful. It felt safe to her, this small sacred space hidden away, carved out of thick forest. Unable to speak or think clearly, that's where she ran. Through the brush and low limbs, so thick it was dim, like a dark tunnel that gave way to streaming sunlight that skipped on the water. She'd fallen apart there. Booth had found her there. He'd held her, understood her, listened. It had been hard but the pond wasn't a horrible place to her. She could see how it was different for Booth. It had scared him when he couldn't find her, scared him when she wouldn't talk, couldn't talk. And when she finally did what she said was so awful, so heart crushing, that they just held each other and cried.
He still hadn't answered. "I need to go back, Booth. I need you to come with me."
"Okay, right." He would do it for her. "Yeah, we can do that." Taking a deep breath he pulled her down on the bed and tucked her underneath him. His eyes danced across her face measuring her mood as he sought a way to counter the heaviness of the moment. She watched as pure mischief took over his expression, his fingers grabbed at her and began to tickle. Rolling and wiggling beneath him squeals and giggles filled the room. "But it's gonna cost you." He added as he winked and kissed her first playfully then passionately. Flirtatiously she whispered possible payment arrangements in his ear. A final offer, accepted by a deep groan of potential pleasure. Their hands and mouths started to move to a beautiful end.
"No!" Yelled in unison as they both let out deep hisses of frustration. Booth's ring-tone for Sweets had ended their fun. He reached out for the phone and answered as he felt her cold slim fingers run down his back and along his hips searching for access to his bare skin. He shot her a clear look, cease and desist, at least until he was off the phone. She ignored it.
Sweets' called to check in with the pair. She could hear him talk as she tugged and pulled on Booth trying to get him to speed up the call. He'd came up with some annoying, yet obviously well planned excuse, for calling that he quickly discarded. It had become a daily routine. Eventually, he would weasel his way back to Dr. Brennan's break through. Booth wasn't sure whether to be annoyed at the intrusion, the poking and prodding Sweets was known for, or touched by his obvious concern. Today, he was going with annoyed as Sweets rambled on in one ear and Bones nibbled the other. Finally Sweets gave up. Deflated he hinted to Booth that Caroline would be calling about a possible warrant for Chamber's DNA. He set a therapy appointment for the day after their anticipated return.
Booth quickly ended the call and tossed the phone aside bringing his attention back to collecting on their agreed upon bargain. She tugged at his shirt, he helped her pull it off. Inching hers up slowly as he kissed his way slowly up her torso. He was so completely engrossed in her beautiful moans that he barely acknowledged his phone when Caroline called. Bones let out a sound of utter frustration he was fairly sure he'd never heard from her before. Booth chuckled as he answered.
Caroline had put together all the evidence she could muster and found the most lenient judge on the bench to make this hail Mary attempt at a warrant for Dr. Ian Chambers' DNA. She combined information from Sweets' interview, the recording, and planned to have Booth conference called in on the meeting.
"You know I don't want you to get your hopes for this little venture, Cher."
"I know." Short quick answers, that's all he could manage as Bones moved tauntingly beneath him.
"I just don't want you all bent outta shape if this doesn't work, Cherie. Judge Hansen is a good man and a prosecutors dream but he has his limits."
"I appreciate it." He grabbed one of her hands and pinned it above her head. "So does Bones." She smiled up at him as she tried not to giggle out loud.
"You should appreciate it, Cher, because there's a good chance I'm gonna get laughed right out of Hansen's chambers and I don't like to be laughed at, Seeley Booth, it makes me cranky."
"I understand." He tried hard to hide his uneven breaths as Bones increased her efforts to have all of his attention.
Booth pushed Caroline to hurry. They worked out times and call arrangements.
Booth had barely hung up when he abandoned the phone. Wasting no time, he turned his attention back to Bones.
"Hmmmm, I like it when you do that." Was followed by a squeal from Bones as Booth's phones buzzed and vibrated and rang underneath her. The pair scrambled to find the it.
"Booth." He answered, his voice had an edge to it.
Cullen had called earlier than expected. Booth pulled himself away and sat up moving to the edge of the bed. Cullen wanted to talk specifically about their stay at the cabin. Nothing productive had happened in the search for Phelps. He couldn't be found anywhere, tips and sighting had completely dried up, and there was still no signal from his ankle monitor. Cullen knew the pair were going stir crazy with nothing to do but wait. Given circumstances and with a strict security plan put in place that Dr. Brennan had to agree to and keep, he wanted them back in DC. Booth agreed. If there was no progress in sightings or tips on Phelps by the end of the week, which was only a couple days away, they would come back.
Now that was cause for celebration. Booth turned his phone to silent and set it on the nightstand. With one more weight lifted off his shoulders he gave all his attention to the beautiful Temperance Brennan until they were both satisfied that the terms of their earlier agreement had been met.
As she laid quietly in his arms, tracing circles on his chest as he filled in the details of each call. She wouldn't be included in the call. Which was fine by him, he didn't want her to listen in on this conference call. Knowing that the recording would be played and with all she had been through just short days ago he'd rather she let this one pass. He figured she would protest her exclusion but she didn't.
She opted to busy herself with other things. Knowing that they might be leaving in a few days gave her the urge to clean the cabin. They gave themselves a few more minutes of peace before rising to get dressed.
When it was time for the call he gave her a kiss on the forehead. Their eyes connected in silent agreement. They were both ready for this part of their lives to be over. He stayed in the bedroom. She went out with the intent of cleaning.
Feeling so very tired, she let out a long yawn as she stretched. She felt very much like all her mental and physical energy had been stolen, all of it gone, drained, by the harsh realizations and memories unleashed earlier in the week. Sitting down on the couch she told herself she was just going to take a minute to organize her thoughts. But then the cool mountain air blew through the open door and windows. It was was gentle and relaxing. It cradled her, blowing lightly in wisps as she curled up and drifted off to sleep on the couch.
Booth paced the bedroom floor back and forth at the foot of the bed as he listened. The recording had to be played several times for the judge as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. Each time the Honorable Judge Norris Hansen asked a few more questions then he'd ask to have the recording played again. It echoed through the judges chambers, as it did hours and miles away in the cabin bedroom.
"fith."
"Is that a person? A name?"
"fisthe, wrrrr, wurrr." The sound of her patting his arm and chest made it hard to hear. The judge's first question addressed the muffled sound of her patting Booth.
"Wisth, swrrrm, Boof."
"Whoa! Whoa!"
"Oh, no, no, no, come on, Bones, wake up, baby, stay with me, here. Don't leave me, I'm here. I can't lose you, Bones. You can't go we have a deal, remember? I'm not leaving. Never again, I promise, just wake up for me, Bones, just stay awake a little longer."
Each time Booth cringed at the desperation in his own voice as the memories played vividly in his head. Sometimes they were so overwhelming that he found himself physically trying to shake them off. Privacy lost, her privacy, his, now made part of public record as he heard the clacking of the court reporters keys in the background.
Another question or two, another long pause as the judge considered the warrant, another request to replay it.
It dragged on and on and the longer it went the more irritable and worried Booth became. Dragging his fingers along his eyelids until he pinched the bridge of his nose the let out a long deep breath. It wasn't looking good. He could hear it in the judge's voice, in the tone that Caroline Julian took, in the fidgeting that must be Sweets in the background. Booth got lost in the long detailed explanation the judge was offering before ruling on the warrant, it didn't matter. He could tell it was going to be denied. He could feel it.
A blood curdling scream that emanated from the living room, tore down the hall, through the door and into Booth's ears. It stopped all conversation on the call. His stomach dropped as his heart pounded. Thrown into action before he'd consciously finished the thought. Begging, pleading, screaming, it all got louder for him and for those listening as he made his way to her. Why did time slow so significantly every time she needed him and he was trying to get to her? What should have taken seconds seemed so much longer as he darted around furniture. Those listening heard the crash of the phone as it hit the floor and his consolations to her as he tried to gently wake her from her nightmare. They sat frozen by her unrestrained sobs as her fears poured out. With everyone else stunned into stillness as they listened helplessly Caroline reached over the desk and cut the connection ending the call.
Their world shrank back to just the two of them as she struggled for even breath and clung to Booth. Recovery was a cycle it seemed. She would make progress, gain some confidence back, the flashbacks and nightmares would become fewer and farther between. Then another break through or some other incident would stir it all up. She would struggle through it, wrestle with nightmares, vomiting and flashbacks. She was tenacious though, a fighter. She would claw her way back to normalcy starting the cycle over again having made some progress. It was good, he thought, she was working it out – they were working it out together. It wasn't easy and this week had been particularly exhausting as she fought back the demons.
She fell back asleep in his arms as he held her on the couch.
Warm from sleeping on his chest, she woke her bangs damp, clung to her face, her eyes still stung from crying.
"Hey, baby." Booth talked to her softly as her eyes darted around the room.
"Hi." She whispered back as pushed up off of his chest she sat up quickly, anxious to get out of the cabin. "Let's go now. We should go now to the pond before it gets any later." She'd already slipped her shoes on and was tying them.
"Bones." He was struggling to keep up, he chased her as she buzzed through the cabin, hopping on one foot as he slid a shoe on the other.
"Come on, Booth." Her impatience mounted.
"Bones, geez, slow down for a minute, okay? What's the rush? The pond will still be there tomorrow."
"No. Now. I want to go now." She was already headed for the door. This felt familiar, chasing her, he'd spent so much time doing just this, trying to catch up.
"Bones." He caught her arm. "Slow down." Stopping with great exaggeration, she turned her attention to him. "I'm not going to stop you, okay? I promise, but let's just take it slow, you know, no need to rush." Taking her by the hand he lead her forward towards the path setting a pace that could only be described as a mosey. Letting their hands swing between them, he watched as her intensity and anxiousness gave way to familiar banter. It was comfortable.
"This really is a beautiful place, Booth." Light streamed in through gaps in the forest canopy. It looked and felt completely different than the other day when he'd raced to find her. It was so dark and foreboding then. It felt like one of those black and white images where what you see depends on whether you focus on the white or black.
"It is." Bringing their joined hands up to his lips he kissed her hand.
"When we come back with Parker we should take a day to clear the path." He looked at her, surprised that she would still want to come back here after everything that had happened. She never ceased to amaze him.
"We could do that." Conversation wandered as they made their way towards the pond. He felt the familiar tug of her hand as she picked up the pace, pulled him along. She was so eager, he was reluctant. Finally, she pulled free of him and stepped out into the light at the edge of the pond. He stopped. Taken by her beauty he staggered a step or two until he found steadiness in the trunk of an old Red Oak, leaned against it, and watched.
She was chattering as she moved across the landscape to the very rocks that he'd found her curled up and sobbing on, the rocks they'd picnicked on, the same rocks he and Parker fished from. It was hard, he saw her now, he was captivated by her strength. He was dazzled by everything that was her. At the same time he fought his memory unable to stop the flashes of holding her when she was so overwhelmed by the memory that she couldn't speak.
Smiling down on him from the top of the rocks she beckoned him. He pushed off the tree and went to her. They settled back into this space talking, sharing, planning. She was excited to get back to DC. They both were, even with the threat of Phelps that still hung over them. They talked about what it was going to be like to work cases with all the changes that had taken pace in their personal life and relationship. They set boundaries addressing what they thought the potential pitfalls would be. They watched as the clouds rolled in and stacked up. Dark and heavy, it was clear there were was a storm ready to break. Booth insisted they leave so they could beat it back to the cabin. She insisted they stay just a little longer.
The skies opened up and it started to rain. She jumped up leaving his embrace and the shelter the tree provided. Laughing as she spun in circles and felt the cool rain wash down over her.
"Bones." He called out to her but her attention belonged solely to the rain. "Bones, you're going to get soaked." She didn't care. He joined her just as the rain fell a little heavier. She danced, carefree, unencumbered. She pulled on him encouraging him to join in her dance, feel her freedom. He pulled her into his pace, slower, closer, more intimate.
Wiping the rain from her cheeks. He remembered a similar night. She'd poured her heart out to him and he'd kept her at arms length. That night he hadn't wiped her tears, hadn't comforted her, he'd left her alone, more alone than she'd been in years. Despite all that she'd stayed fiercely loyal to him. He'd hated that moment since it happened. It shouldn't be as big or overshadowing but in his mind it was the crossroads that had led to this moment. If he'd only reached out that night. If he'd only gone home and told Hannah it was over right then. If he'd stayed with her, with Bones, his Bones, then maybe none of the rest of this would have happened.
He apologized, her face held gently in his hands. "Bones." Waiting until he had her attention he said it again. "Bones, I'm sorry."
She looked at him completely confused by his confession. "I don't understand. What are you sorry for?" The rain was coming down so hard and fast. It pounded the rocks and beat the water of the pond. It was hard to hear.
He didn't know how to say it, there was so much."I should have been there for you. You shouldn't have been alone. I should have been there." Tripping over his words they came out awkward and vague. She thought he meant that night of the assault and argued that he couldn't have known any more than she could have that it would end like it did.
"You were, you came, Booth, I called you and you came." So reassuring, she was comforting to him. She raised her hands to his face and felt a warm trail of tears mixed with the cool rain which hid them.
They stood, holding each other loosely as the rain washed over them, locked in each others eyes.
"No, Bones, it should have never happened. I should -" She cut him off.
"No. No, don't do that. No." She was insistent, hitting his chest with her open palm for emphasis. "You didn't cause this, Booth, and I don't think you could have stopped it." Their bodies moved closer, held tighter to one another. Their foreheads touched, leaning on one another for support. "You can't do that to yourself. You can't do that to me." She started to shiver, soaked, chilled by the cool mountain air. "Promise me, Booth, promise me you won't do that."
Pulling her in closer, he agreed. "Okay, okay." He let a heavy sigh as he looked around. It really was a beautiful spot. The waterfall roared, the rain fell, a flash of lightening, the clap of thunder followed too close behind it. "We really need to go, Bones."
"I know, just one more minute." A kiss, open and strong, sealed his promise to her. He grabbed her hand as they climbed carefully off the rocks and headed back to the cabin.
The cabin was in sight when their hastened walk turned into a sprint and friendly competition. Winner gets to choose, shower or bath. Peeling their muddy shoes off on the porch they made their way to the bathroom and the warm retreat it offered. She was still chilled when they got out. He bundled her in blankets in front of a warm fire while he heated up some dinner for them. It promised to be a peaceful night cuddled up in front of a fire.
A quiet night, just what they needed, as they watched the flames in the large stone fireplace. Long stretches of contented silence broken only by short bursts of quiet and contemplative conversation. While she enjoyed it at first Booth's continued quietness concerned her. She felt something coming off of him that she couldn't identify. Hesitant to speak but unwilling to sit in silence anymore she took a deep breath and blurted her concern to Booth.
"You're awfully quiet tonight." Rubbing her arm he pulled her closer as he lay a kiss on her temple. That wasn't an answer. She waited a few more minutes. He could feel her anxiousness mount.
Finally he broke the silence. "I've just been thinking." As he spoke she couldn't help but release the breath she'd held so tightly as she'd waited for his response.
"About?" Her hand, peaking out from the blanket he'd wrapped her in, rested on his chest. It ran over the screen printed ridges of his t-shirt. She fiddled to calm herself as she waited for his answer.
"Today. The warrant." It had failed. The judge had been apologetic but the evidence wasn't clear enough for him. The recording was too muffled, unintelligible. Everything else was circumstantial at best. He took a long pull from his beer. "And you, thinking a lot about you." He'd finished the drink, leaned over and set the empty bottle on the coffee table in front of them.
"Me?" Her body and moved with him as he set the drink down. Now she found herself settling back into him.
"You. You didn't want to go to the pond for you-"
She started immediately to argue but he shushed her.
"Wait, let me finish." Repositioning them so he could see her face and watch her expression. He gently tucked her long bangs behind her ear and let his hand linger on her cheek. "You, you did it for me. You wanted to go back for me." Their eyes caught, she could say whatever she wanted. It didn't matter. He could see the truth of it in her eyes and she knew it. There was no use in denying it. "You wanted to fix it for me." He let his hand slip back, his fingers wove their way into her hair as he pulled her into a long deep kiss. "Thank you." He whispered against her lips.
It was early, the sun had barely started to rise when she woke up and a wave of nausea pushed her from the comfort of Booth's arms. She scrambled over his body and bolted to the bathroom. He stumbled in after her getting a damp cloth and sitting down beside her on the floor.
He took the hair from her fist. "Here, baby, let me get that for you." Gently pulled it all back and held it out of the way with one hand while the other rubbed her back softly. "Nightmare?"
Shaking her head she answered softly. "I don't know." She looked worried which concerned him. Taking the damp cloth she wiped her mouth. She was done for now. Leaning back against the tub the two sat in quiet as she tried to catch her breath. "I don't remember a nightmare. I just woke up this way. I'm so tired." She looked over at Booth then leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder. He nodded his acknowledgment.
"Maybe it's better that you didn't remember, you know, those dreams are pretty awful."
"I prefer to know." Not knowing was so much worse for her. The tangible could be dealt with, intangible hung in her mind waiting for definition and resolution.
"I know." His hand rested on her thigh, in comfort and support.
"And I always remember them, every horrible graphic detail, I remember. So why not today? Why would I forget today?"
"I don't know, babe, maybe it wasn't a nightmare." Reaching over, he felt her forehead. "Maybe you caught a cold out in the rain last night."
"Booth." He felt her eyes roll and her exasperation before she ever said a word. "You can't actually catch a cold from cold or wet weather. It doesn't work like that, it's a myth, an old wives tale." She was just about to launch into a full explanation when Booth's cell buzzed from the other room. He pulled himself off the ground to go answer it. She slumped down resting the back of her head on cool tile of the bath tub as she fought another wave of nausea. Maybe Booth was right, maybe she had the flu. Either way, she didn't like it. She'd closed her eyes hoping that sick feeling would pass so she could leave the bathroom.
"Bones!" His eyes were shining with excitement as he popped his head in the doorway. "We've got a case!"
oooOooo
A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and helpful comments. I want to answer them all but life keeps getting in the way. Please know that they mean the world to me – they keep my confidence up and keep me motivated towards the next chapter. Which just so you know is a thriller.
So the big question is: What do you think? Phelps is still out there. Clyve won't talk and the scuzbag, Dr. Ian Chambers seems untouchable. And they have a case...
Special thanks to Craftyjhawk (an excellent writer in her own right – check her out here and on fictionpress) and my husband who patiently endures me staring at him while he reads what I've written.
Snowybones has also made the jump to fiction press and has some amazing short stories to read there. It's so popular I'm thinking I might do the same...would you follow me there?