"I beg of you… My slave who lives somewhere in the universe! Oh sacred, beautiful and strong familiar spirit! I desire and here I plead from my heart! Answer to my guidance!"

For such powerful magic words they are quite vague are they not? The universe has long since been proven to be far more massive than can be measured and the reflections even more infinite. Beautiful and strong can be defined in numerous ways and differ by one's own views of strength and beauty. However, a plea that comes straight from the heart fueled by a desire created from years of emotional torment by one's peers? That is a voice heard by any who are willing to listen.

The Familiars of Zero is a series of one-shots featuring a plethora of what-if's consisting of a large cast of characters ranging from the unique to the downright bizarre. However, while the cast of familiars will be diverse a few key little details will remain in effect. All familiars will be sentient and will, at the very least, be chaotic neutral. I may include an "evil" familiar or two but I'm not really into writing horror all that much…

All one-shots shall be followed by an explanatory note regarding the new familiar (the who's, the why's, and the what's), a brief summary of what could continue, and finally explanations towards an "OCness" on the pre-established characters. With that said, I hope you enjoy reading:

The Familiars of Zero

By Corvus no Genmu

"A Fan's Service"

A Collaboration

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing could possibly go wrong? One of those, this is just too freaking good to be true but I ain't looking a gift horse in the mouth because damn it, I'm just that freaking optimistic? Well, multiply that by, like, twice over in sheer awesomeness and you might have the faintest inkling of how utterly FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC my day has been so far! No, really, the sun is shining, the streets are bustling, and my back is breaking from the sheer amount of crap I just spent my entire life savings on, never mind the cost in my outfit. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration but rest assured I'll likely be paying back the credit debt long after I'm dead but it was worth it. I admit I was a bit bummed that my usual posse couldn't make it to the 'con this year, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to totally rub my loot in their faces!

God, how in the hell was my backpack not falling apart at the seams right now? I better hurry back to the hotel before the thing breaks and spills my loot all over the place. The streets are full of vultures right now, and I mean that most literally. Seriously, how many people can dress up in different versions of the same character? Thank you Marvel and your infinitely complex universes, it makes keeping track of your crazy shit so much fun for us all.

Hmmm… it's getting kinda busy around here but what do you expect? The night's not yet begun and the 'con's only on its second day but I've bought what I wanted, seen what I wanted to see, and took pictures of the smartly dressed and smartly snarked those who weren't. I'm sorry, but some people just can't pull off certain characters, not that I'm one to talk with my choice of cosplay but I digress. Time for some action music… Whip out the old iPod, and by old I mean, first generation here. Battery barely lasts beyond an hour not without serious plugging time but she's my baby, second only to my laptop. Let's see here… "Highway to Hell"? Nah, not driving… "Streets of Gold"? Yeah, if I hadn't just spent nearly quadruple digits today, I'd be all for that. Aha!

"I ain't gonna be a face in the crowd, you're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud!"

"I beg of you…"

"I just wanna—what?" Damn it, always at the good part… I slip off my headphones and take a gander around. Huh… street's still crowded but no one's giving me the time of day regardless of the fact that I was breaking out into a sweet Bon Jovi impersonation. Shrugging, I put the headphones back on and push play and—

"My servant who lives somewhere in the universe!"

Okay, what the hell? I pause my iPod and take another look around. People are moving, people are talking, cars are disobeying the speed limit, and there's a green portal sitting right in the middle of the street, the hotdog vendor looks like he's asleep at the wheel, and—

Wait, crazy otaku say what?

"What?"

"Oh sacred, beautiful and strong familiar spirit!"

This… This sounds familiar… I, I know these words and I know I've seen a portal like that before. Okay, maybe not personally but come on, you watch as much science fiction as I do, and it starts to become a force of habit recognizing these kind of things. The strangest thing though is that nobody but me seems to notice the thing floating right there in the street! Seriously, how can you miss it? I'm almost tempted to stop somebody and ask them if they're seeing what I'm seeing here but I've seen how that movie ends and while I'm a self-admitted lunatic, I'm not about to let some schmuck in a white coat strap me to a table anytime soon.

"I desire and here I plead from my heart!"

Okay, review: Green ovular portal that no can see, female voice that no one can here, increasingly growing sense of déjà vu… add them all up and you get… Oh… Oh My Fan-Freaking-Tastic GOD! It can't be! It's freaking fiction! It's a goddamn anime for crying out loud! It's just been the long day getting to me, that's all. I'm doped up on caffeinated sugary goodness and the crash is hitting my brain like a dropped anvil. That's all that it is. Just ignore it and it will go away. I turn away from the portal and get two steps before my god-damn mind comes up with the perfect quote for this kind of messed-up situation I've suddenly found myself in.

Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car? But this isn't an autobot and this ain't a movie, this is real life damn it! More than that, I know how that story goes and where it will likely end. I know the good and bad things that await me, one of which is my likely being stuck there until the day I die. Can I really do that? Just give up on everything I've ever known for a life of adventure, possibly multiple love interests, and good chunk of fortune and glory… Okay, bad argument there… Think for a moment, what would CG and the others do?

"Answer to my guidance!"

… Aw to hell with this!

"ALONSY!"

"… Well, if this isn't some creepy shit…" I admit, expecting the Stargate Wormhole was a little high but infinite nothingness? And before you ask, no I don't mean darkness or whiteness, I mean a literal nothingness? Anybody ever read The Neverending Story? Same thing here and then some, and I'm not gonna lie, there's the childish side of me, whom I affectionately refer to as Chaos, is crying for mommy right now and my serious adult side, Order if you must know, is not far behind. No wait, there he goes now.

… What? … Yeah, yeah, Chaos & Order, never said I was original in naming shit, sue me.

"Helloooo?" Okay, no echo, no path, no sign of anything but my charmingly dressed self. Wait, oh crap, I'm still in my cosplay outfit, great that'll make a fan-freaking-tastic first impression. Well, it will if I ever get anywhere around here! Seriously, is a sign too much to ask for nowadays? Wait… I think I spot something, really further down, which considering that this a literal void of nothingness, has got me my happy back let me tell you! I run straight towards it and it can't have been more than a handful of steps before I suddenly find myself running into the ground with an added explosion of smoke and dust to mark my entrance to an entirely different world.

I push myself to my feet, trying for a dignified first impression while the cloud still obscures me from my soon-to-be "master". Yeah, I put quotations there for a reason. I ain't settlin' for none o' that crazy "bad dog" shit here, thank you so much. Besides, I'm a self-proclaimed lunatic otaku, do you all really think that I wouldn't think up this kind-of scenario on my own? Fanon for the win, people!

The cloud clears and I see a girl that is so remarkably short that it's adorable. No, really, I always thought she was rather cute in the illustrations and the anime, but damn, she's… she's almost turning me into a diabetic here with that little scowl of hers and the embarrassed flush on her face thanks to her so-called "failure" in summoning me to be her familiar though she seems confused by my appearance. Guess now's the best time for the reveal eh? Y'all wonderin' who I'm supposedly dressed as?

Tsukasa Kadoya…

…

Really, I'm getting nothing here?

…

Seriously people, Wiki him or something!

I don't speak though, I have to see where I am… there's three different possibilities I know of, and God only knows how many splintered worlds there might be considering I'm a bit better prepared than Saito. I might end up the Shield of God, but that don't mean I ain't got the mind for intelligent thinking here. Knowledge is power after all.

Laughter draws my eyes to a tanned beauty whose two buttons away from indecent exposure. Now, I'm not one to complain of fanservice but there's a reason I don't like certain characters—No. No, I can't think like that, not anymore. She's not a storybook character anymore, she's as real as me and damn it, I'm treating her or anyone like she's a piece of fiction I'm supposed to fix. I've read how those stories end and it's got more angst than an emo's Twitter page.

"This makes all you said worth it! I never would have guessed you'd summon a plebian!"

That doesn't mean I have to like her though. Bitch.

"It was just a little screw-up!" snaps my tied-for-most-favorite little tsundere. I'd be lying if I said she was my most favorite but then, I've got a thing for this for vibrantly bright red…

"That's our Louise the Zero. She never fails to meet our expectations!" That remark from another student had the whole of them laughing. Well, I know that I can understand them so that narrows it down to manga or light novel; best interrupt now before we get side-tracked.

"So I am to owe my allegiance to you… Miss Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière?" That stops the laughter pretty quick, though I don't know if it's my knowing the girl's full name or my apparent understanding of the language that got them. Personally, I'm patting myself on the back for pronouncing her name correctly. Thank you short-termed interest in French pronunciation, you have served me well yet again!

I tilt my head slightly, old habit that I can't seem to break whenever I'm thinking over something. I let Order take the reins for now as this part could make or break everything. Well this and several more key moments and somewhere I hear Chaos starting to cry. Suck it up buddy we're in this for the long haul because I just had to 'get in the car'.

"H-How do you know my name?" She's surprised, who wouldn't be? Bad enough when someone knows ya by name but the whole damn thing, ridiculous middle ones and all? Serious business.

"I know a lot of different things for a lot of different reasons." Entertainment, imagination, shit and giggles, etc. "But what I do not know is if you are ready to take one such as I as a familiar."

"What?" She's confused, angry too I bet, but there's question marks floating above her head, thought not literally. Anime lied to me. Too bad, I wanted to test out rule number thirty-eight.

"Out of all your peers, you have summoned not a beast, but an intelligent, sentient being. They have summoned what is liken to them just as you have. Do you realize what that means, Louise de La Vallière?" I asked her. Oh God, I'm butchering fanfiction now but hey, if it works it works. "You, whom they dare to call a "Zero" has done the impossible, the incomparable. You have summoned a human being but more than that, you have summoned an Archivist." Yeah, capital letter people, respect it. Totally made up on the spot but respect it! I make a show of sighing regretfully, thank you middle-school drama class, you will serve me well once again. "However, I will not give my allegiance to a foolish child."

"What?" Okay, confusions gone and anger's got the reins, wrap it up Order before she gets the crop! I'm not into that sadomasochism crap!

"You do not even try to entertain the idea that what magic you have done is not a sign of failure but a sign of something greater, proof positive that you are truly the most powerful mage of them all. You do not even have a child's imagination to try and believe that you are better than what others have made you perceive yourself to be." And I'm looking forward to meeting the cases with a grin and a bat in hand.

"As you are, I cannot, I will not, have you for a master. Not unless you are willing to meet me halfway." I hold out my hand to her though she steps back from me. Shit, did I say too much? Keep going, keep going! "Accept me for more than what I appear to be in your eyes and, perhaps, you can begin to accept that there is more to you than what you believe to be. Believe in the me that believes in you if you must but only when you believe will I start to call you My Master."

Kudos to you Kamina-sama…

She stares at me for a long enough time that I start to worry that I pushed it a little too much but then she's got her wand in hand and she's blushing like the schoolgirl that she is. Awww, damn, what is it with me and short girls? No seriously, what is it? "You should count yourself lucky. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a commoner." Uh-oh, Order's gone away and Chaos is here to play… I smile as her blush deepens. Wow, I didn't know people could turn that shade of red before… "My name is Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière. Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers; grant your blessings upon this humble being, and make him my familiar."

She stepped forward and tapped me on the forehead with her wand, a little bit harder than necessary I think but I digress, now comes the fun part. She starts to stand up on her toes to try and kiss me, when I say she's short I mean she's like a doll to me but then, I've always been tall for my age, but I interrupt her, grabbing her by her face with both my hands. "W-What are you doing?" she's scowling and squirming but she doesn't try and break free either cause she doesn't want to risk breaking the contract or it might be because of the look on my face.

I lean in close, just enough that our foreheads are pressing against each other but I keep our lips distance. "To waste a first kiss upon the sealing of a contract… it's rather unfair don't you agree?"

"It doesn't matter it has to be done!" She sounds more like she's trying to convince herself than me but I'm smiling anyway.

"Allow me to make it a memorable one at least." See, you know how girls have this weird test thing of theirs with cherry stems and kissing? Unknown fact: that type of practice ain't strictly limited to females and the benefits outweigh the weird looks you get from your friends. How do I know this? Well, when I started the kiss, Louise was merely a faint pink color, just a step above cotton candy. When I ended it, I'd swear she'd gone and turned into a tomato. An out-of-breath, glazy eyed, cute-as-a-button tomato but a tomato nonetheless.

Right about there is when the pain hits.

Imagine the most painful shot you've ever gotten. Replace that agonizing but "oh so helpful" medicine with acid nearing the temperature of magma and have it coursing through your veins at breakneck velocity. Got that picture in your head? Well that kind of shit is kiddy stuff compared to this! It's taking everything I've got not to start screaming bloody murder right now! My sweat is turning to steam and my blood isn't too far behind! A flash of emerald and the runes are finally upon my left hand and the pain is gone and fading quickly like a terrible nightmare. I nearly fall to my knees with relief.

"Are you alright?" asked Louise.

It's a standard question, don't bite her head off. It's a standard question, don't bite her head off. It's a standard question, don't bite her head off…

"Fan-freaking-tastic…" I breathe through my teeth, shit this hurts… Keep it together old boy, you gotta keep it together or everything falls apart. I glance at the runes and… officially scare myself. I knew what they were supposed to say but I never bothered to learn the runic language of "The Familiar of Zero"… but when I see the runes I recognize them like I would if I had been using them for my ABCs.

"Huh… interesting runes…" Yeah, use vague interest to cover up the fact that you're scared shitless right now, that'll work. Something is going on here besides my being summoned as a familiar to Louise and replacing Saito in the original plotline… I just had to figure out what that was while simultaneously remaining at least somewhat true to the events that are to come, to allow the necessary evils to achieve their "victories".

No pressure right?

I'm dead… That's what's happened. I've died and gone to Heaven… that's got to be the reason for all this…

I thought that reading the runes was strange enough but this is, all of this… is more than I could ever imagine. It started after I managed to convince Louise that, human I most definitely am personal servant I am not. Of course, there was a lot more to it than just "convincing" but that isn't the real gist of my admittance to my residency in Heaven started when I realized my iPod had still be playing since I left my world which meant the battery was supposed to be two songs away from death.

Key phrase: supposed to be.

Last I checked, I didn't have the infinity symbol as a substitute for the number of songs in my iPod nor did it have a battery life that was just as long for a very bad and scary reason. See, like some people, I tend to decorate my stuff with random crap, stickers and stuff mostly. My iPod was decorated with the symbol of Kamen Rider OOO, meaning a "triple" infinity loop. Now, my music player not only has more songs than I know what to do with but is apparently playing host to a freaky powerful battery that ain't gonna die anytime soon and likely holding the spirit of a demonic looking right arm if the fact that the freaking song "Anything Goes" keeps popping up despite it being set to random play. Now, this right here is where I got concerned, especially when, after setting my backpack down, I realized that my iPod wasn't the only thing to have changed.

Like I said, I decorate my stuff and my bag happened to have a hammer with the word "space" etched across it. I didn't realize it right away but my backpack was far lighter than it should have been considering the amount of crap I had packed in it and looked just as empty as it weighed. The fact that the hammer-space patch was now melded into the thing like a freaking tattoo was a definite sign that the Night-of-Weird had only begun.

Can you figure where my thought process is going here?

I unzip my backpack and look inside and I see… space. Not space in the literal sense but damn if there weren't a whole lot of it inside my new bag-of-holding. I reached in hesitantly, fearful that something might try and pull me in (which you would be to if you know half the shit I had in there) and I pull out my laptop and nearly get a stroke when I see that, like my backpack and iPod, it too had been altered though only by one small, itsy bitsy little thing.

My laptop was now sporting a nuclear battery.

Yeah, I stuck a nuclear symbol sticker on the underside, right above the battery pack, and it was now a part of the hardware like my bag. I had a freaking nuclear powered laptop and I hope to God its lined with lead because so help me, as awesome as a nuclear powered laptop is, I am going to be pissed if I find out it effectively neutered me…

… Oh, and kill me again via radiation poisoning.

Can you die twice…? Well, according to Tite Kubo, most certainly and since one can explode twice, according to a certain Doctor at any rate, it's not too far from impossible…

Damn it, getting side-tracked here, FOCUS. I can read ancient runes like Hermione-freaking-Granger, I got a possibly-possessed iPod with infinite music, a backpack containing a hammer-space pocket, and a laptop powered by a nuclear battery the size of my hand. What else could have—

Oh… Oh no… No, that would be impossible… I open my backpack and after taking a quick peak over at Louise to make sure she's still asleep, stick my head inside and my eyes meet another, much smaller pair. I slowly stick my head out. "Huh." Back in, yep still there and blinking cutely at me. Out again. "Well… I guess the role of cute little mascot is going to be filled soon after all…" I stick my head further in and discover that apparently sound doesn't carry out from inside the thing because I'm certain my loud cussing would have woken Louise up. I pull my head back out after going through every foul word I knew and a few I made up on the spot. "How in the name of all that's good and holy am I going to get that thing out of there? Better, how am I going to get it back in?"

Then another random thought hits me, the one thing that had me in an otaku-euphoria before my summoning, the one thing that I know just having in my possession as a collector's novelty would set my old friend CG in a jealous rage. I quickly reach inside and pull out something amazing…

I get up and calmly walk out the door and once I've carefully shut it behind me, run as fast as I can outside the tower, gripping my acquisitions tightly in hand until I'm outside and well out of range of prying eyes and ears. I perform the cautionary test run and meeting success I finally say my piece.

"This… is… FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!"

"You can't honestly hope to win!" exclaimed Louise as she ran to keep up with my longer strides. Good thing to, or I'm sure the shit-eating grin I got would do little to appease her. Can't help it, I'm excited for what's to come.

"Hope? Hope is a glorious thing but I have no need of it here. Hope is a belief that something good will come from something bad. I do not need to believe in me, I know that I can beat him. The real question is, do you believe in me, Louise?"

"Maybe I do but I—"

Maybe…? MAYBE? How about a "Definitely"?

"Then," I interrupt none-too-kindly, "I suppose there's nothing left to say. Words only do so much after all. Watch and see Louise, the power of unlimited imagination."

"I compliment you for not running away." Guiche smiled, running a hand through his locks. Yeah, yeah, you're an ass, get on with your introduction already! He whips that rose wand of his (Seriously a rose who does he think is Youko Kurama? Please!) and a flash of light, he's summoned a golem. "I am known as Guiche the Bronze, therefore the bronze golem Valkyrie shall be your opponent."

Oh, I've been waiting for this!

"Well if that's how we are to play it then," I sighed, brushing my hair back from my eyes. "I am an Archivist by profession, familiar to Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière by choice, and your opponent by necessity. Now, allow me to tell you a little story…" I snap the transformation buckle to my waist and it secures itself soundly.

"A story?" Guiche scoffs, clearly not impressed with me. "Do you think yourself a storyteller?"

"Nothing so plain," I argue back. "A storyteller is a fine station for one to have, don't get me wrong. When people tell of their pasts, explain their present, and foretell the future, it is through the words of a storyteller. Yet that is all a storyteller may do. They tell the stories that they know, that they hear, perhaps even experienced for themselves. Archivists, on the other hand, have much more to do with stories than that. We are something like historians really. We collect and catalogue certain pieces of distinction from the multiverse, as evident by my little companion over yonder in Miss Siesta's arms."

Order, I don't know where the hell you're getting this shit but Chaos? Take notes.

The maid in question looks embarrassed at the sudden attention while my little buddy just waves his arm cutely at the crowd. In my hand is a card with a very familiar visage, one I've known for what feels like forever though it's barely been a few years. I don't even recall pulling it out, but its presence is reassuring. It means that I'm not a total liar…

"This piece here has quite the history." I say, gesturing at the belt that's suddenly wrapped snugly around my waist. "It was once worn by a man who traveled the worlds to try and save those world from annihilation whilst also managing to rediscover himself in the process. During his journey, he learned that there was more to him than he believed to be, the very person who had set those worlds on the path to destruction in the first place. The very war he sought to prevent he started willingly, killing countless like him only to let the last one kill him where he stood, weaponless and grateful that he had paid for the crimes he had committed and the restoration of those he fell assured. He is truly the strongest of his kind, second only perhaps to one whose power is only as infinite as the kindness in his selfless heart. Allow to me to show you a sample of his power. Henshin!"

"KAMEN RIDE."

Nine symbols appear in the air around me before they change into shadowed images of those they represent and those shadows then converge upon me and it's done. I'm garbed in vibrantly bright red, oppressive dark black, and stunning gleaming white armor, with a slight barcode motif in the overall design with shining emerald lenses armed only with a versatile, and changeable, book and the cards that lay within.

"DECADE."

Oh yeah, this is going to be fun.

"Wh-What is this?" cried Guiche, backing up in surprise at my transformation and who can blame him? I look freaking awesome right now!

"This is the armor of Kamen Rider Decade, a Rider created for both damnation and salvation, a living testament to the greatest that came before him and harnessing their powers as his own." I pull out the Ride Booker and it switches to blade form in my hand. I slide a palm along the blade and see sparks. Oh this is going to be so much fun, I can barely contain the urge to squeal! "You introduced yourself so allow me to the same. My universal codename is the Crimson Archivist!"

Guiche's golem charged forward but I was already moving, practice and sudden knowledge guiding me through the art of war. My friends and I have spent countless hours speculating on the runes for the Void familiars, Gandalfr more often than most. We argued that the Gandalfr's limitation on weaponry was that whatever was being used had to be designed for battle. That meant no killing people with sporks anytime soon, sad I know but them is the ropes. Now I want ya'll to think for a moment, what would happen if a Gandalfr were to wear the armor of a Kamen Rider, one specifically designed for a god-damned battle royale of epic proportions?

Awesomeness that's what!

One swipe, the golem's blade was cut. A second and it's only got one hand to clap with. A third and the head is gone. I step back and admire my handiwork, not even feeling tired. If anything, I'm pumped up for more! "Is that all boy, or would you like to continue this… duel?"

Guiche grit his teeth. "As if I would lose to a fool commoner in pink armor!" He swishes his wand and summons six more golems and they—

Wait.

What. Did. He. SAY?

The golems suddenly skid to a halt not three feet in front of me, weapons raised with fear in their nonexistent hearts as the gathered crowd steps back en masse. I suppose it might be something to do with the fact that I'm just standing there, glaring molten death upon a pale faced Guiche, perhaps it might even have to do with the fact that I've blasted the head off the first golem with the Ride Booker now in gun mode. Maybe it has something more to do with the fact that there's a field of liquid silver standing behind me. In this armor, I'm in control of the dimensional barriers and my hatred of that word has started something that won't stop if I don't cut it off here and now.

The question is, do I want to?

… Aw to Hell with it.

"You know… I was going to be amicable about this. I planned only to teach you to judge others by their actions and not their appearances, but you had to go and say something stupid didn't you? To say that word in my presence…" I glance at the card in my hand. Five against one is hardly fair… and I'm not gonna stand for this bullshit. "Well, it's time for the next lesson, Guiche de Gramont. A lesson in humility."

Guiche was on his hands and knees, crying his eyes out as I kept the barrel of the Ride Booker aimed at his forehead, my form reverting back to Decade. Behind me, I hear a sound of shifting gears but I pay it no mind. I only care about driving the lesson home to this little idiot.

"There are countless life-forms in the Multiverse, Guiche. Too many to name, too many to count, and yet my people have. We have reached the edges of the known universe and went even further. We have starred down the fire-reamed pits of Hell, we have gazed up into the sparkling clouds of Heaven. We have witnessed unspeakable horrors committed by the kindest man and virtuous acts by the worst of monsters. Countless worlds, countless lives, recorded and retold to the masses of my world, so that we could learn from those different yet so similar to ourselves, to not make the same mistakes, to heed the same warnings.

"Do you think that you and your pettiness is anything of note? Your birth has been recorded, your death just the same, but your story? It could end today, it could end years from now, but the truth of it is that no one will care because you, Guiche de Gramont, are worthless in the eyes of billions." I pull the trigger.

Guiche screams and flinches away but it doesn't matter. I had moved my arm during my little monologue and the shot hits the ground beside him. Oh look at that, I got him to wet himself, that's a score ten badass points right there. Turning back to ordinary me, I look up just in time for my little buddy to land squarely on my head with a childish giggle. And just like that, I'm back down to two… ah well, little fellows still young, he'll grow into the proper badass soon enough. I walk away from Guiche, the crowd of students parting before me except for one brave young woman who stands firmly in my way despite everything she had seen me do and knowing full well what I could do to her.

"Do you believe in me now, Louise?" I asked my strawberry-blonde haired master.

"… I do." It's a hesitant answer but it's an answer all the same.

I smile and pat her on the head, damn it she's just so freaking cute when she's all tsundere. "Good, then perhaps we can work on getting some of that belief aimed at you."

"I really don't get what you're worried about," I said not for the first time, pointedly ignoring the lavishing looks that Kirche is throwing me by keeping my gaze on a more beautiful sight. A dragon flying above in the sky, young though she may be, incredibly naïve to the point of pity, but a real dragon she is and damn it if I don't get choked up over that thought every now and again. "It's not like this Fouquet is anything to worry about even if she does possess the Staff."

Louise glared at me but it wasn't with her usual fire. She was starting to truly understand that I had seen it all and that there were things and places far worse than she could ever dare to imagine in the abysmal depths of her worst nightmare. "Do you honestly know someone worse than Fouquet?" Huh, hard to tell if she was honestly asking or being sarcastic. Ah well, I most certainly do but I don't think she'd believe me so continuing on…

"From what I've seen of her, Fouquet only seems to steal from nobles whose affairs are less than sordid. That she stole from the academy, a place of learning and carefully maintained neutrality, is surprising even for her standards, that she stole a weapon even more so. I was wrong to assume that she was stealing gold to support the family she has remaining."

Derflinger twitches in its sheathe and speaks up, sounding surprised by my words. "The family she has remaining, partner?"

I shrug. "Thieves have two reasons for doing what they do; they steal for themselves or for others. I thought Fouquet's methods were more… kindhearted… but if she's moved on to stealing weaponry that means she's in it for herself now, no matter what the family she may have think of her for it. I'm not even related to her and I'm rather ashamed of her to tell the truth, but that's more to do with her methods than anything. Summoning a mountain golem," I sighed and shook my head. "Such poor taste."

"I suppose then that you truly do know of someone better?" Longueville sounds irritated but she keeps her gaze locked on the road ahead. Silly witch, she actually thinks that I don't know who she really is? Guess she wasn't paying as close attention to the duel with Guiche as I thought. That's some relief I guess.

"The greatest of them comes to mind, the one and only thief that no one could capture. The world's greatest officer of the law turned outlaw, she who had stolen entire castles out from beneath the noses of royalty."

"That's impossible!" shouted Louise. "No one could possibly do that and get away with it!"

"No one but her," I argued gently. "She had no equal that I can think of, Louise. The entire world was her playground, no artifact, no treasure, nothing of value was safe from her. The greatest of walls, the impenetrable barrier of an ancient nation, taken in the span of a single, moonless night, a museum of arts that spanned millennia, emptied in the middle of the day, and a statue of liberty's grace carried out to sea beneath the reddened light of the setting sun. She had done this all in the span of a single day, Louise. She was truly the greatest thief of them all."

"Was?" Tabitha quirks her head at me, looking up from her book for the first time since the quest started. Ever short and to the point, aren't you Tabitha, ya little Rei wannabe? Sorry, but you ain't got shit on her even with a wonderful dragon on your side.

"Even us Archivists aren't entirely sure what became of her. Some say she retired from crime, finding the thrill all but gone. Others say that while she herself couldn't be captured, a part of her was. Her heart, a lady's one and only weakness, and ironically enough, captured by a man who could not be found by anyone, especially in the middle of a crowd…" I chuckled. "An interesting match for the illustrious Carmen Sandiego…"

Whoa… This is… different… Not exactly what I expected death to be like but then, I wasn't expecting Fouquet to actually do something smart and kill me before I could transform into Decade either… Bitch learned her lesson the last time we fought it seems. Still, gotta wonder… No clouds with angelic babes present, so not Heaven, but no ice so could that it burns, so not Hell… Is this Purgatory, cause if it is, I'd rather go to—

You are different than the last one…

… Ooooh boy… Uh… Hello?

You do not look upon them as beasts…

Uh… Okay, I'm going out on a limb here but I'm gonna guess you're not God… Unless God is female, which is totally okay if you are just sayin' you might want to be a bit more upfront about that and—

Some have called me a god, a maker of my race, but I am no deity. Not anymore.

Uh…huh…'kay… um… If you're not a god then what are you?

I am a key to your salvation. Time is frozen, your death is imminent, and your master only an hour's time away from enslavement.

Wardes. That son-of-a-bitch… Look, if you're here to help me than just help me! I don't have time—

Time is immaterial. You are in my claws now, human. Your very existence hangs upon my choice for you. Now tell me… Did you mean it?

… Did I mean what…?

"I swear… on all that I am, I will protect you. Call when you have need of me, ask what you will of me, be it in my power to accomplish, I will answer and commit myself to thee. My soul, my service, is yours."

… I said those words to Irukuku yes… Though I don't remember crying like a sissy when I said them, did you add that? No, seriously, did you, cause I wasn't crying. Nope. Don't cry, not over something like that for someone like her.

Someone… You truly meant those words, didn't you, human?

If I hadn't meant them I wouldn't have said them! I may not be her brother by blood but she is my sister in spirit! I don't care that her master is a poser who gives me the chilly-willies or that she's so childishly naïve that it gives me freaking cavities just to speak with her. To speak with her at all is a gift!

You would die to protect her.

Of course!

Would you save her then, if it meant the death of your own heart?

Strawberry blonde hair, eyes so vibrantly red, and a face set in a childish pout as she berates me for ending another chapter on such a cliffhanger…

My heart… is as important to me as my soul… I cannot live without the other.

… That is enough.

Whoa! Whoa, hey, where did, what are you—

Show them the foolishness of standing between a dragon and his wrath. Say the words and release my power! CALL OUT MY NAME!

Third Person POV:

Wardes' pleasant smile wasn't fake by any means, regardless of the fact that he was committing such an atrocity as forcing a young girl to marry him, binding her will to his own through the foulest of magic, and already conniving ways of killing the binder of their marriage in one fell stroke of his sword-wand and taking off to the base of Reconquista to properly arm his wife-to-be with the proper implements of a Void mage. Yes, it wasn't hard to mistake the sign of Void magic and not for the first time did Wardes commend his marvelous luck in being engaged to such a prestigious position. Louise supplied the power and he made the choice of direction. Reconquista's goals would be realized and Halkeginia would have a united flag flying by the fortnight.

Prince Wales, unaware of his steadily approaching demise, smiled genially at the couple and the knights present in the church. "If anyone has reason for these two not to be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." Wardes' smile melted into a smirk, the knights were a part of Reconquista, they wouldn't object but objection came nonetheless in the form of the front walls of the church collapsing from the blows of a giant's weapon before the giant itself came bursting through.

Towering seven meters high, it would at best be called a golem but no such monolithic golem was made in the garb of a knight, especially one such as this. Pure vermillion armor carved intricately in the design of a dragon garbed for war with metallic wings spread wide and a massive trident in hand, the golem was every bit the image of a wrathful draconic god descending down from on high to smite all those who stood beneath its stunningly blue eyes.

Eyes that were set entirely upon Wardes, who was already mildly afraid of what this strange creation could do but then his own eyes fell upon the thing's clawed left hand and his heart all but stopped in his chest when it did the impossible.

It spoke.

"I will say this but once," the voice of the Gandalfr rang like a gong, deep and reverberating in the bones of those who heard it. "Release the spell you set upon my Louise and surrender. You'll live much longer that way."

Wardes, already stunned by this impossible feat of magic, magic that Fouquet had sworn the Gandalfr incapable of performing without his artifacts, felt a part of his cerebellum fuse when another incredible impossibility occurred next to him.

"Familiar?" Louise's eyes were wide and clear, her will shining in their pink depths as she stared open mouthed at the massive Dragon Knight that was her familiar.

… There was nothing for it then.

Wardes sword was out and moving but it was not for Louise's heart that he aimed his blade. The prince had time enough to gasp in shock as the sword pierced his heart and again when it was removed as Wardes turned to run, following in the example of his cowardly compatriots. He though distance would save him, the Gandalfr's trident not truly long enough to reach him without risk of injuring Louise. He thought that escaping through the stain glass would save him, his familiar awaiting atop the church's bell tower and answering his silent command.

He thought wrong.

"HEAVEN SIEGE!" The Gandalfr raised his trident high and lightning came crashing down from a cloudless sky. A storm of thunderbolts that struck in a never-ending cycle of electrical agony until pain became impossible to comprehend and oblivion became an all-encompassing void of nothingness. Wardes was dead though his body had not yet begun to process this.

Bringing his trident down and letting the attack die out in one final, vibrant burst of heaven's might, the Dragon Knight turned to regard Louise who stared deep into the Knight's azure eyes that gleamed with a dragon's wrath. She turned and looked at the fallen prince and tears stung her eyes. She should have done something, could have done something and as if reading her very heart, her familiar rebuked her in his gentle way. "Some destinies are fated across the expanse of eternity, Louise. Sometimes, even the good die young and evil only when it is old. You cannot push back the wind Louise, you can only let it carry you, but it is you who can choose the destination." He kneeled down and held out a massive clawed hand to her. "Will you ride the wind with me?"

Louise did not answer so deep into her troubled thoughts, hazy memories of Wardes speaking his plans to her, confident that his spell could not be shattered and, if such impossibility occurred, that her memory would be tarnished from the effort. He was right just as he was wrong. She could not remember his words with crystal clarity but it was not the Count's words that had her stepping into the waiting palm of her familiar.

My Louise…

She ducked her head, long locks hiding the redness of her face but making the trembling of her shoulders abundantly clear. She embraced his thumb tighter and whispered gently, "My Familiar."

"Sorry?"

"Nothing!"

"Man, I'm going to have to start wearing an iron chastity belt or something around here…" I muttered to myself while Derflinger snickers from where it resides in its sheathe. Carrying the blade was tiresome at first but it is a weight I've grown used to liking really. besides, it offers more conversation than Chaochan. Speaking of, how does she keep appearing on my head like this? I give her a half-hearted glare but she's already nestled in and sleeping soundly. She's lucky she's heavy as cotton candy or that would get annoying real quick.

"Problems with the ladies, Partner?" quipped Derflinger, giggling again.

I sigh but I can't help the small smile. A sword of incredible age and awesome power, yet it is one of my most avid of listeners. Who would have thought a sword with lifetimes of stories to tell would be so interested in them itself? "Too many to count, Derf."

"Well, you have to admit, if you ust were a bit more upfront about your feelings, it wouldn't be half as bad."

"Upfront?" I scoff. "Derf, if I become anymore outspoken about them, I'll have nothing left to say at all."

"Come now, what's so bad about them though?"

"In order? Tabitha reminds me of someone that, while exceptionally cute, was responsible for the deaths of four billion people minus two. Kirche has been with so many men that even she can't remember how many of them she's actually had and I respect myself too much to be another checkmark on her list of conquests thank you very much. Siesta is sweet but she's… a daydream believer. She truly thinks of me as the knight that will take her away from all this and I'm nothing like a knight. I'm an Archivist, I'm the one who tells the stories of gallant knights and their adventures, I don't really make any of my own."

Derflinger makes a rude noise that, if it had any, I'm sure would be accompanied by a rolling of the eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I've heard that before but aren't you forgetting someone, Partner?"

"Louise is still dealing with the aftermath of Wardes' betrayal, Derflinger." I remind the sword.

"Now, I never said anything about Louise now did I?"

Oh for the love of—I can't believe I went and walked right into that one. Speaking of… having just entered Louise's room why do I feel a strange chill down my spine? I mean, the room is actually well-heated, by magic most likely, and the windows are closed so there's no draft… Wait, what's wrong with Louise? She's staring at me in a weird way, like she's really mad but her eyes are shining with tears. Oh man, why'd I do now? Oh crap, did she see Siesta's attempt to show off her body to me? Order, help me out here!

"Is something the matter, Louise?" Yes, yes that's it. Play it cool and act completely guilt free because, surprise! You're actually innocent here!

"Is something the matter?" She repeats. Uh… is that a trick question you're going for there? "Is something the matter? I'll tell you if something is the matter!" Wait, why's she swaying like that? Her face is awfully red too, is she drunk or something…? "I'll tell you what… Familiar…"

Ooookay… "Louise, are you feeling alright?"

She holds out her arms to me and I step forward quickly, fearing a sudden attack of tears and what I get is a hug, expected, a bit of tears, also expected, and… WHOA! I jump back in surprise. She pinched me in the butt! She actually pinched me in the butt! The sudden bit of movement jarred Chaochan off my head but she manages to flap her way over to her little nest, somehow doing it in her sleep. I'd be amazed if I weren't currently scared out of my mind right now.

"Louise, what the—"

"I love you!" She leaps at me, enveloping me in another hug, pressing her face against my neck. Her breath tickles and I shiver as she speaks, "How can you even look at another woman when I love you so much?"

…

We're sorry but your server has crashed, reboot in progress…

Blink.

Blinkty blink blink… blink blink.

Did I just get a blue screen in my own head? No, better yet, what did Louise just say? She can't possibly, I mean I hoped—I mean suspected! I said suspected but Louise wouldn't be this forward about it! She's too tsundere for that! She'd be all shy and red-faced and threatening my livelihood and/or manhood first before she'd outright admit to anything as embarrassing as loving me. Louise is never this forward and was never like this with Saito except—

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh HELL no!

"MONTMORENCY!" I kick the door open to the blonde's room the moment I manage to get out of Louise's grip. Wasn't easy either, she's worse when she's asleep! What little self-control she has vanishes entirely and I now well and truly know the meaning of inappropriate touching thank you so much! At least Chaochan's watching her and I got Derflinger watching my back for a sneak attack.

"Now see here, commoner!" Montmorency glares at me but immediately falters under my own. Hers is but an irritated mouse to the dragon's eyes that are my own! I can see her heart plain as the fabric of her clothes and it is quivering in fear at my presence but hers is not the only heart in the room. Glancing to the right, I'm not surprised to see a disgruntled, but equally fearful, Guiche. Seems someone was on the way to getting lucky, well too freaking bad! I'm mad as hell and I'm not calming down, damn it!

"Crimson Archivist," begins Guiche, thinking using my self-made title will calm me down. He keeps checking my waist to see if the Decade belt is there and I suppose that it's because of its absence that he hasn't gone running for the hills. That or he really does give a damn about Montmorency. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Part of the blame lies with you so you sit down and shut up!" I snap at him and he obeys instantly, adopting a cowed expression as I continue, "The meaning of it is the love potion your idiot of a girlfriend her made! The same love potion she intended for your cheating ass before Louise went and drank it by mistake!" I snarl, pointing at Montmorency who looks angry at my calling her an idiot but doesn't protest.

"Love potion?" Guiche blinks and looks over to Montmorency who suddenly finds the ceiling rather interesting. "Montmorency?"

"Well, you see, it was an accident really and—"

"I. Don't. Care." I growl, getting in the blonde's face, towering over her and glaring draconic death into her eyes. An unwanted gift that I'm utilizing now. I can see her heart plain as day and she can see the change in my eyes, pupils narrowing into thin, reptilian slits, bright blue turning ancient amber.

"Do you even realize what you have done? You don't do you? I know of love potions, Montmorency. I've seen the kind of damage that can result from them. Here's an example. You dose Guiche and he begins to treat you like a queen, but then the attention becomes too much. Every moment he's awake he spends attempting to please you until those attempts become unwanted. You try to break away from him but it's too late, he's become obsessed. If he can't live with you then he won't live without you. He'll kill anyone he feels is a threat to the the two of you being together and hurt those who bring you nothing but strife. He'll do everything he can to make you love him again until he loses patience and takes what he wants, what your drug makes him want. That is what love potions do to the intended victim, Montmorency."

Guiche is looking decidedly green and Montmorency herself is shaking, face pale and horrified but I'm far from done. I'm mad as hell and this is merely the opening act.

"But you made a mistake. You didn't plan for the worst, that someone else would take the love potion you intended for Guiche. A love potion with a limitation of love at first sight. That means if I hadn't been the first person she saw, Louise would have attached herself to anyone she happened to glance upon. It is only because she attached herself to me that I don't see to it that Princess Henrietta, whom I happen to share a first-name basis with thank you very much, is made aware of this. I don't know the penalty for accidentally dosing someone with a love potion but I'm sure it is a heavy price wouldn't you say Montmorency?"

She's crying now, good, then perhaps I can wrap this up with some kind of efficiency.

"But I'm not going to do that. You can make this all go away Montmorency. All you have to do is give me the cure to the love potion and this will become one those stories we all laugh about later on in life."

"A c-c-cure? But-But I can't make a cure! I don't have all the ingredients necessary to make one!"

I smile and the two of them jump back like startled kittens. God, do I love using the patented Alucard smile. You know, that one that says I'm so freaking thirsty for some fresh blood that it is only this smile on my face that's stopping me from rendering you all limb from limb.

Have I mentioned already that I'm mad as hell?

"Then I suggest you get those ingredients, Montmorency. Because while I promise to not inform Henrietta of this I will gladly inform someone worse than her. Louise's mother."

"Vallière's mother?" gasped Guiche, finally finding his voice. "How could she possibly be—"

"Louise's mother happens to be Karin the Heavy Wind." I interrupt and boy do I wish I had camera right now, the looks on their faces… "So Montmorency… about those ingredients?"

This… Can I really do this? This isn't Wardes or that necromancer wannabe here… These are soldiers fighting for a cause that they believe is just. That goddamn general… I knew this was coming but I didn't plan for it enough! I couldn't stop it from happening just like everything else that's happened! DAMN IT! What am I doing here then if I can't do anything more than what Saito could?

WHAT IS THE GODDAMN POINT?

…

Do I really expect an answer…? Stupid.

"Hey… Partner?"

"Yes, Derflinger?" Can't be a Kamen Rider because Riders don't kill people…

"You alright? You've been awfully quiet since we entered into this fellow's, what'd you call it, cockpit?"

"Just thinking is all… You've been in a lot of battles right?" Can't use the armor because it's too magical for the Gandalfr runes, I got lucky the first time, I won't a second…

"More than I can remember," said the sword, sounding strangely serious.

"In those battles did you… have any kind of choice? I mean, did what you…" I'm all out of options here… I don't even know if this will work or even if I want it to…

"Kill people? I'm a sword, Partner. Killing was the primary reason I was forged."

I scowled at the coldness of the sword's words. "That doesn't matter! It doesn't matter the body you possess, you have a heart and a soul, Derflinger! A sword doesn't weep for lovers reunited, a sword doesn't laugh at the antics of a bumbling fool, a sword doesn't care about anyone or anything."

"… I suppose you are right but then, we're not talking about me here are we?"

"I'm not… I am an Archivist, Derf… We are not meant to kill. We are supposed to learn from the mistakes of others as well as ourselves, to be beyond this kind of senselessness…"

"You rarely talk about your own world, Partner… Didn't you have any wars of your own?"

"… In my lifetime, none that I was personally involved in but… there two wars that encompassed the entire world, the last one showed us the kind of monstrous depravity an entire nation can commit when but a single madman stands at its head. Did you know, the very first nation those monsters invaded was their own? They turned a once proud country and painted its flag red, white, and black. The colors of blood, bone, and ash… My own grandfather served in that country's armed forces not for their ideals but because he, as a soldier, was told to fight his country's enemies. He believed in his country, not the twisted ideals that it had adopted. These soldiers… these people are the same… aren't they?"

"Many of them are, most likely, but it matters not the reasons why they fight but that they are willing to die for those reasons. Be it by you or anyone else, these soldiers are willing to die for their belief just as I'm sure your grandfather did. It is not the act of killing that makes someone evil, Partner, it's the reasons behind it. A man may kill, not to protect to a country that isn't even his, but for those who dwell in that country, those who share a part of him that he can never take back."

"… They're coming." I take the controls in hand and think for a moment. I look up into the top of the cockpit, the light of the Gandalfr runes casting an eerie glow along the walls. "Look… I don't pretend to know everything about you but… if there's even a spark of sentiency within you then please… Please help me save them."

Silence… Then I guess this—

"PROUD AND SO GLORIOUS! STANDING BEFORE OF US! OUR SWORDS WILL SHINE BRIGHT IN THE SKY!"

"Jumping Jehoshaphat!" I nearly leap out of my skin at the sudden noise and Derflinger, the traitor, laughs at my reaction. I search around for the source, half frantic that the noise could be heard outside the cockpit and am surprised to see my iPod somehow connected to the controls. When did it—How did it? God, the bloody thing really is possessed!

"WHEN UNITED WE COME TO THE LAND OF THE SUN! WITH THE HEART OF A DRAGON WE RIDE!"

Slowly, I start to smile and as the song continues my smile grows into a grin.

"WE ARE FLYING ON WINGS IN WINTER SKY WITH FIRE BURNING DEEP INSIDE! WE ARE WARRIORS OF ENDLESS TIME FOREVER AND ON! ON WINGS OF STEEL AN ANCIENT FLIGHT WE SEE THE POWERS THAT UNITE! THE GODS WILL NOW SEND US A SIGN OF BATTLE ONCE MORE!"

"Okay, I get it! I get it!" I laugh and the volume lowers but the song still continues and the cockpit bobs to the music.

"Through the valley we ride full of glory we soar! Where the fights will be raging for now and for more! When united we come and divided they fall! Tonight you will witness it all!"

"I get it…" I grip the controls tightly and the Gandalfr runes reignite into an almost blinding light and the screens come alive as a lion's roar echoes into the night. "Let's ride!"

Third Person POV:

Louise gripped the railing of the airship as she stared back to the shrinking land far below, screaming a single name, over and over again until her voice ran hoarse and she collapsed weeping. A ring glistened on her left hand, a circular carved diamond thrumming with light to signify that the wearer of its twin was alive still but so deep into despair, Louise had no time to considering anything so optimistic.

There's a flash of light that she does not see and soon the ship trembles but she brushes it off as turbulence but the trembling of the wind is soon accompanied by a sound of terrifying thunder. Louise leaps to her feet and looks down below but the cause cannot be seen and the land is too far away to see anything… and yet, there, just at the Cliffside she could almost swear she saw. She screams in fright as more bursts of blinding lights shatter the darkness of the light and the roars of explosions rock the quietness of the night. Streams of light, starbursts that explode in massive fireballs and then—

Nothing…

It is quiet once more. The rest of the passengers surrounded Louise, none standing closer than those she could honestly call her friends. They stand with her, knowing as she does the source of the strange event that has the crew and other refugees whispering amongst themselves in fear and wonder. They stand and watch with her in hope of witnessing another one of her familiar's impossible miracles but it is all in vain. Nothing else comes forth into the night and one-by-one, the crowd disperses save for Louise. No, she stands and remains standing in wait for how long, minutes or hours, she cannot say because in the end it did not matter.

She was the first to see.

Wings of fire, blazing brightly in the night, a golden horn piercing through the winds like the lance of a knight, and crimson iron that is the flesh of the regal beast, the scion of the striped predator and the queen of beasts. A roar echoes into the night as the beast approaches with increasing speed, gleaming amber eyes shining like meteors in the blackness. Though she can't hear it, she's sure her familiar is laughing within the cockpit of that mechanical beast and though she too is laughing with delight, tears of relief flowing down from her eyes, thoughts of vengeance for the emotional turmoil he has put her through run rampant in her mind.

On the next Calling...

"A Second's Choice"

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

In Memoriam the Crimson Archivist…

May You Live Forever…