Chapter 37 Now lift your eyes to the sun

"Come on Allison. We have to talk about this." Eric said to me later that night as we laid side by side in bed, finally getting a chance to be completely alone after the harrowing and dramatic end to this war and it should have been a relaxing and celebratory moment. We were engaged, the witches were dead and this nightmare we had been fighting for months was finally over. Peace was upon us. And yet I laid there with my arms tightly crossed over myself glaring at the ceiling while Eric propped himself up on his elbow beside me with a smirk spreading across his lips. "You've been pouting the entire hour since the others left the house and the moment that front door closed, you turned around and hit me!"

"I should have punched you." I grumbled under my breath, tearing my eyes from the ceiling and turning them on Eric's less then serious face. "Or at least stabbed you with something silver to make it hurt more."

"You're still mad about what I did huh?" He asked with a devious smile as he ran his fingers up my arm before I smacked them away, only to elicit a laugh from him. "I guess that answers my question. But I figured proposing to you would cancel that out and you would have forgotten my little mistake."

"Little mistake? Are you serious right now?" I demanded, shooting up into a sitting position and turned around on the bed to find him still laying there like this was no big deal and I hadn't been refusing to speak to him for the past 60 minutes. "You fucking schemed behind my back and when that didn't work, you drugged me with sedatives! I'm beyond pissed at you right now."

"I can see that. You don't get to be this charming unless you're mad about something." Eric replied sarcastically, rolling on his back with his hands behind his head. "But I can't say I regret what I did."

"Oh course not, because that would be too human for the great Eric Northman to do." I rolled my eyes, throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. I was annoyed that he thought he could do this and was just laying there like nothing was going to be said against him for doing something so crazy and far out. He wasn't going to react like a normal person would, it was evident by the smile on his face. And that pushed me even further to the edge. "Why are you not taking this seriously?"

"Because we both know that in the end it was the only thing I could do to keep you safe this time around. You were bound and determined to go to war again and I was not about to watch you die for a second time. So I did the only I knew to do that would keep you from following after me. And yes it was over the top and a little too barbaric, but it was what was going to keep you alive and I will never be sorry for that." Eric shook his head up at me, his stubbornness worse then mine and it was shining clear through his eyes and I knew deep down that I would probably never get the best of him in that aspect. When Eric thought he was right, nothing could convince him otherwise. "I didn't want to hurt you but if a little hurt was going to keep you with me, then I would have done it every single time."

"I guess I can understand that, but it doesn't mean it was right." I pressed my lips together tightly, hating that he had managed to get to me with his words, but he had. He had a point, his actions were rooted in concern for my safety and mortality. So I couldn't hate him and be mad for too long for him just wanting to keep me around so we could have a life together. And hadn't it worked? I was alive and so was he and we were engaged. And none of that may have been possible if I had gone to war. I could have been a distraction that may have led to both our deaths. And if Eric hadn't have drugged me then nothing else would have stopped me from charging ahead after everyone. So perhaps Eric had made the right decision. I looked down at him, finding him smiling triumphantly and just shook my head. "Damn you!"

"Oh don't start pouting again. It will ruin the rest of the night." Eric teased, sitting up finally and leaned against the pillows at the head of the bed with his legs crossed at the ankle while he stared at me. "We should be celebrating. The war is over. The enemy is vanquished. And more importantly, we are engaged and finally get a chance to be happy. I think that's cause to forget all my mistakes and just relish this moment."

"Oh...you're good. Very good." I grimaced, running my fingers through my hair before sighing. "I can't say that I don't still want to hurt you for that, but I'm willing to let it go for now."

"Well thank God for that." Eric chuckled, obviously cheering on the inside that he had won this for the moment. But it was the sight of him sticking his hand in his pocket that gave me pause before he said. "It's good that you're letting it go. Because now I can give you this."

"Oh...dear...God." I could barely whisper this fractured sentence as I watched in pure shock as Eric pulled out what was probably the most beautiful and expensive looking ring I had ever seen in my life. I could only watch his movements in silence as he slipped the ring on to my finger and slid it into place, it fitting absolutely perfectly. It was white silver with plenty of glittering, sparkling diamonds that I knew Eric had insisted on when he picked it out. It was beautiful, just beautiful. I had never imagined that I would ever be engaged and even if by some miracle I was, I never thought I would have a ring this glorious on my finger. It was a testament to how much Eric was determined to give me the best he could, no matter what the cost. Eric loved his money and I knew he hated to spend it unless it was for himself. And this ring was clearly worth more then anything I had ever owned, including my cars over the years. If he was willing to put down this much money on an engagement ring, then he was trying to give me what he thought was the best. And if there was anything that could touch me so deeply, then it was that realization. I shook my head just as tears sprang to my eyes. "I hate you for this."

"For Christ sakes, are you crying again?" He asked with another smirk as he reached out for my arm to tug me back to his side. I went with no resistance, allowing him to pull me into his arms before he tilted my head back with his finger under my chin and said. "I love you. You know that right?"

"Yea, I know." I nodded, smiling at him for the first time since we were alone and allowing any remaining anger I had about his actions go out of my head as he kissed me softly and then pulled me down on his chest and we fell into silence. I don't know how long we laid there but it was long enough for me to get to thinking rather deeply about what was to come for us. For once, our lives weren't heading to a horribly tragic end or being split apart by our own actions. We were engaged, we were bonded together for life and when we married, we would become a family that the two of us were so clearly lacking to a degree. After all, who else...A sudden thought hit me and I shot up out of Eric's arms and spun around to face him. "Oh my god, you know what I just realized?"

"That you want to give me some mind blowing sex right about now?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as there was a hint of hope in his eyes before he said. "Ok, tell me..."

"I don't know where this came from but Godric just popped into my head and it just occurred to me. He's your maker, which means he is like your father. And when we get married, he would kind of be like my father in law." I nearly laughed at the thought of the teenage looking vampire being my father in law. It was so weird to think that he would be that paternal figure in my life even though he would forever look like a teenage boy instead of a man. I looked at Eric, seeing the amusement in his face as well. "Holy shit that is weird to think about."

"Not nearly as weird as this, since you brought up our impending marriage and all..." Eric sat up again, his smile growing wider and I knew what he was about to say was going to entertain him immensely when he saw my reaction. "When we get married, you're taking on Pam as well. And since she is my child, she will be considered your step daughter."

"Nooooooooooo..." I screamed in mock disgust, hiding my face in the pillows as Eric's deep laugh rang in my ears.

The next day

"Why am I here? Why am I doing this?" I asked myself in a near panicked whisper as I stood alone outside the front door of the one person I hadn't seen in weeks but had woken up this morning thinking about. I hadn't knocked yet, but I knew he was home, I could hear the flicker of his thoughts coming from inside as he was fiddling around with something. I knew I should have knocked by now instead of standing here for the past 20 minutes like a moron. But I just didn't have the guts. Especially when I thought of the news I had to share and who I was sharing it with.

I don't know how it happened, but the first thing I was thinking about when I opened my eyes thins morning was Sam. It was weird because I hadn't seen or spoken to him in weeks so there was no reason for me to have been thinking of him. It wasn't that I wasn't trying to keep in touch with him, it was more that with another war on the horizon and all the craziness to be had with Godric and Louie and Helen and then the fiasco with Mark, I just didn't want to bring Sam into the middle of that. But last night my life had taken a giant surge forward in my engagement to Eric and that brought up the idea that it wouldn't be long until everyone in my old home town would know I was going to marry Eric. And being that Sam and I had a history of ups and downs, I knew if he found out from someone other then me then all hell would break loose and our friendship would be even more beyond repair then it already was. Not that I thought he would take it well considering his previous feelings for me, but it would be less of a blow to him if I was the one to say it first. Hence why it had led me here to his front door this afternoon...

"Allison! What the hell are you doing here?" Sam's voice came at me so suddenly, breaking me from my thoughts and shocking me when I felt his strong arms wrap around me before I could even speak. I hadn't even notice the door had open and I was sure he was thinking I looked like an idiot just standing there, but he didn't seem to care as he stood back and smiled at me. "Why didn't you knock? Why haven't you called me at all in the last few weeks?"

"Sorry about that, things just got a little crazy in Shreveport." I replied back sheepishly, trying to regain my stability after being caught off guard by his appearance before I was ready for it. I knew from conversations with Sookie earlier today that Sam was aware of what had been going on but hadn't been informed of my engagement. And now as I was standing there staring up at him, I was suddenly afraid to say the words. "I know I should have come by sooner, but I was just trying to get re-adjusted after everything. You know?"

"You don't have to explain anything to me, I know things have been tough. That's kind of why I haven't been in touch lately either. I figured it was best to give you some space and time to yourself." He explained, releasing me from his hold and stepped back before motioning in through the open doorway he had jumped out of. Once I had stepped into his small living room and he had forced me to sit down on one of the couches, he spoke again with a rather wide smile. "So why did you come by today of all days? Didn't Sookie say the other battle just ended last night? I figured you would hanging out at home for the next few days to get sane again."

"Yea it did end last night, but I woke up this morning and I just had this urge to come see my old friend." I said, trying to keep my voice calm even though it was threatening to jump out of my mouth in a jumble. I nervously reached up and twirled my long hair around my fingers, trying to figure out how to break this. "Sam, there's something I need to …."

"What...the hell is that?" Sam's voice went cold rather quickly before his hand suddenly flashed out and grabbed my wrist, tugging my arm down so he could see my hand. And it was only then that I realized with a sinking feeling that I had been playing with my hair with the hand that housed my sparkling engagement ring. It had given away my secret before I could even attempt to ease the subject in to Sam. I fearfully looked up at his face that had turned from my hand to my eyes and I could tell without reading his mind that he knew what I was going to tell him. And he didn't like it. "He proposed to you? And you said yes? Are you fucking stupid?"

"Sam, don't you even go there." I frowned, pulling my hand away and hiding it even though the damage had already been done. I knew this wasn't going to end well and it wasn't suppose to happen until he and I had gotten through some catch up talk first. But as usual, my plans didn't work out and he was now staring at me with this mask of hurt on his face. "I know you're upset and I wanted to be the one to tell you for myself so it..."

"So what? It wouldn't upset me as much? Did you honestly think I was going to react well to this? I mean what did you think was going to happen?" He snapped, getting up from the couch and walking a few feet away with his hands on hips. "You don't stay in contact for months and then you just show up out of nowhere to rub it in my face that you're engaged..."

"That's not fair. You know me well enough to know I would never rub anything in your face, especially not something as sensitive as this." I spat back out, determined not to let this erupt into a fight like it had in the past. Sam was prone to outbursts when he was emotional and it was up to me to keep this from following in the tracks of our previous confrontations. I stood up with my arms crossed and said. "Sam, I'm not going to let you yell at me. I only came here so you wouldn't here it from someone else. And since you clearly aren't ready to be friends with me right now, I will just leave."

"That's probably a good idea." He agreed, ready to send me away only minutes after being reunited with each other. But I should have seen this coming when I first thought of how to break it to him. Sam was in love with me and no matter how sensitive I tried to be about news like this, he was never going to react with the kind of grace I wanted. And that was evident by what he said next. "I guess this is the end of any hope I had of us being anything more then friends. You and I will always just be stuck here like this."

"I don't know what you want me to say. I love him and I want to marry him and spend our lives together. And I'm sorry if that hurts you but I can't help that." I told him, trying to keep my voice from shaking but it was hard. I didn't think I could possibly watch a friendship deteriorate further then it had. But I was seeing do just that right before my eyes and in just a matter of minutes. I moved towards the door, pulling it open before looking back one last time. "I still want you to be my friend. But I will understand if you can't be that for me right now."

I didn't wait to hear his response and just stepped back out on to the porch and shut the door behind him. My car wasn't parked too far away but as I walked towards it with a heavy heart, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed a familiar number. I kept the phone pressed to my ear as I got back behind the wheel and started up the car again, waiting for the voice to answer and when it did I was relieved.

"Molly, it's Allison. Listen, do you think you can come over ? I kind of just need someone to talk to..."

That night

"He actually reacted that way? What is his problem?" Molly exclaimed, sitting back on the living room couch after I had finished relaying my encounter with Sam that afternoon to her and went silent to give her a chance to soak it all in. She of course, sharing my DNA, didn't waste more then a few seconds to come up with a response to what was on her mind and that didn't surprise me. That was how she operated and it was the same thing when I had called her asking for her to stop by the house today. She didn't need to think about it and almost immediately said yes. And although it took an hour before I was able to start talking about it, I felt better for divulging it to someone. "That boy seems a little too immature if he gets upset this easily."

"I would never say Sam is not mature, but he certainly doesn't take these things well at all." I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair and looking across the room to where Susan was sitting in front of the TV watching some cartoon while Molly and I spoke. It made me feel even better to have my family members around, I didn't quite feel as alone as I had when I left Bon Temps. "He's been in love with me for a while now and he keeps thinking that one of these days I will turn around and look at him the same way..."

"But that's his fault, not yours. You have never given him the idea that you wanted to take it further, he just made that all up in his head." Molly pointed out, already making that assumption after I had told her about my history with Sam and she seemed to share the same opinion as everyone else did about his behavior. "And if the friendship doesn't work out then it's on him and not you. You've tried and he keeps on taking two steps back."

"Glad to know someone else thinks the same thing." I nodded, leaning back against the cushions with my arm propped up on the back of the couch and sighed. "But you're right. I tried and its the only thing I can do. I can't force him to be ok with this. So I'm just going to let it go for now."

"That's the spirit." Molly practically cheered as her lips parted in a smile. "It's just another negative thing to bring you down and you just finally put a lot of bad things behind you. You deserve to move on and be happy for once in this new chapter of your life."

"You have no idea how right you are. This is the time to be celebrating and not sulking. Sam and I will work things out some where down the road. But right now, I am just going to relish that things are finally at a standstill." I said decidedly, more then prepared to put that aspect of my life away for now. I didn't want to spend any more time feeling bad about anything. I had spent months being afraid, sad and in pain. I wanted a break from all of it. Eric and I were going to get married and that set up a new part in our lives. And I was going to enjoy it as much as I could. I looked at Molly and smiled. "It feels so good to be able to breathe and relax and not worry about an enemy coming to get me. I finally get a chance to be normal."

"Or as normal as you can be, considering what you are." Molly corrected with a teasing grin, looking at me and then at Susan with a very maternal smile as if she were truly happy all through out her soul. "It's good that..."

Molly's voice was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing and for a second I thought it might be Eric. He had left a note saying he had some work to do at Fangtasia and had gone to spend the day there so he could get right down to his duties the moment the sun went down. And I thought maybe this was him coming through the door but the moment I heard the footsteps approach, I knew it wasn't him at all and when the figure appeared in the doorway to the living room, both Molly and I got to our feet.

"Godric." I said quietly, trying not to let my surprise show too much at seeing him here when Eric wasn't home. It meant that he had come here to see me as maker and progeny always knew where each other was. I looked at Molly who shrugged as I stared back at him with a frown. "What are you doing here..."

"Who's that?" A tiny voice demanded and all our heads shot across the room to Susan who had turned away from the show she was watching and was now looking at the new arrival with wide eyes and actually stepped closer to him. "What's your name?"

"Godric." He answered before I could stop him, his eyes briefly landing on my little half sister and for a second I felt an old fear come up in me and I found myself stepping in front of Susan to block her from Godric's sight. If he was bothered by this, he didn't show it on his face. "Allison I was hoping we could talk. Alone."

"That's fine, we were just leaving." Molly hurriedly said, looking like she was thinking the same thing I was and she walked across the room and grabbed Susan up in her arms before edging around Godric to the open front door, only stopping to whisper. "I will talk to you later."

"I'll be fine." I assured her, knowing she was worried about leaving me alone with Godric who had attacked me once before. But she had another daughter to worry about and I wasn't as worried about my safety as I was Susan's. So when the door shut behind them, I breathed a huge sigh of relief before turning to face my old friend. "Ok, speak."

10 minutes later

"So why exactly are you here?" I asked Godric when the silence between us had gone on for just a little bit too long and I felt the need to break it before it got too heavy. I learned long ago that the longer you let things go unsaid, the harder it was to start talking even when you wanted to. So that was what had pushed me to at least acknowledge that his visit held some kind of purpose. "You had to have come here for a reason."

"I did. I don't have a lot of time, I'm suppose to be meeting with Louie and Helen but I had to come here first to see you." Godric shuffled uneasily in place, not looking at all like the vampire who had once had such a dark and violent past. It was hard to remember that Godric had once been capable of such horrific things because he looked so innocent and his personality was so calm and welcoming. You would never think he would commit such inhumane acts even though he was a vampire. But he had done those things, I had seen it for myself. But the way he was standing there before me now made it seem like that was another person entirely. "After the events of last night and knowing how close we all came to not existing anymore, it got me thinking of how many regrets I have in my life. And the biggest one had to be..."

"Oh no, do not go there." I cut him off almost instantly and immediately began shaking my head. I knew where he was going with this and I didn't even have to read his mind to know that. I stared at him intently. "I don't want to talk about the attack."

"But I think we have to. It's the only way I can even begin to heal the damage I have done." He charged ahead anyway, ignoring my pleading stare as the need to get the control became apparent. It was a trait I saw in Eric every day and it was more startling because it came from a vampire who had never really shown any kind of negative characteristic. At least up until the last few months. I watched as his arms, covered by long off white sleeves crossed over his chest. "Allison, what I did to you..."

"You can't even say it out loud can you?" I asked, feeling a slight flash of annoyance at that second. If Godric was going to have his way and force this conversation, then he at least needed to say exactly what he had done. "You attacked me. Threw me around. Bit me and then tried to drain every ounce of blood out of me. That's what you did to me."

"You're right, that is what I did. I won't deny it even though it pains me to remember that I almost killed someone I considered a very dear friend of mine." Godric made no attempt to counter my snippy comment and I think it was mostly because he knew I was right. There was no getting around the fact that the attack had been brutal and violent and as horrible as if it had been done by a stranger. But it was worse because it had been carried out by a friend, so much worse. I knew that and he certainly knew that. "I sense this is quickly going to end up in an argument and that is not why I came here."

"Then what did you expect to get out of this? That the threat of war just 24 hours ago would somehow make me forget what had happened and I would just let things go back to the way they were? That's not going to happen." I knew Godric wasn't stupid enough to think that, he had never been stupid enough to think that life could return to normal after so much hurt had been caused at his hands. But he had obviously tried to turn things around before and I got the sense that this was what he was trying to do now. Only I wasn't sure if it was possible. "How do you expect me to just let this go and act like it never happened?"

"I don't want you to pretend it never happened. First off you could never forget that, hell I can't even get that memory out of my head." Godric was being truthful, I could gauge that much and it would have been so easy to just give in and say it was going to be ok. He just looked so uncomfortable. "And secondly, I want you to remember what I did. Because if I try and pretend like it doesn't exist and try to be perfect, then I fear it will come out again. That was the mistake I made the last time and I won't do it again."

"So again, the same question. Why did you come here?" I frowned, slowly edging towards the stairs, not feeling entirely safe being here alone in the house with him. Who knew what cold set him off again? But I had barely raised my foot towards the first step when he flashed in front of me and I felt his hands on my arms. "Godric! What are you doing?"

"I just want to know if its possible to ever earn your forgiveness..."He asked, ignoring my nervous jump the second he touched me. It had been different last night when we had practically ran into each others arms, he was coming back from war and I had been so frantic that I didn't remember my issues with him. But tonight it was on a whole different level and I remembered just how much I had feared the vampire I once called my best friend. "I want to believe that we can reclaim our former bond but I need to know if it has any basis in reality."

"I don't know." I admitted, trying not to feel any apprehension over the fact that I was now in his grasp and he didn't seem to be letting go any time soon even as I squirmed. "Godric can you..."

"I'm sorry. I am sincerely and deeply sorry. You have to know that." He was desperate, I could see it in his eyes. After everything that had happened with Louie and Helen over the past few months, I knew he was grasping at something, anything, to keep himself sane. But I didn't know if I could offer that to him. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to …."

"Godric, just let me go..." I told the 2000 year old vampire in front of me, who at the moment did not look anything like the feared immortal he once was. He looked like a scared little boy who just wanted me to tell him it would be alright. But I couldn't tell him that because it would be a lie. Nothing would be alright. Not after what he had done. I stepped away from him so he could no longer touch me and shook my head at him. "Please leave."

"As you wish.." Godric didn't seem like he was going to fight me on this and instead turned on his heels and walked towards the front door, fully intending on leaving without me having to rescind his invitation and it gave me an open window to start walking up the staircase. But I had barely gotten halfway up before he called out to me again, forcing me to turn around and face him. And when I looked at him in the door frame, his eyes were so full of regret and shame and guilt that it nearly broke my heart. "Will you never forgive me for what I have done to you?"

"Not this time, this time I was pushed to my breaking point. And you made me scared of you. So no. I don't think I can forgive you. At least not right now." I knew it wasn't the answer he wanted and even now I hated the look it put on his face. Because truthfully, I did want my friendship with Godric back. But it wouldn't happen overnight, no matter how much we both wished it could. He had done something horrible to me and I needed to almost grieve that betrayal in order to get passed it. And whether that happened, only time could tell. And a look at Godric in the front doorway told me that he knew it too. "It's going to take more time then you would like. I can't just forgive you because you said a few nice words. Time and patience are the only things that can fix this."

"Time and patience." Godric echoed my words before he nodded and disappeared from the doorway.

Out in the woods

"So...is someone going to say something or not? Because if not then it doesn't make sense to remain here and waste each others time." Godric said out loud to the group of vampires, his voice breaking the silence of the still night woods as they all sat together in a circle for the first time. Louie, Godric, Helen and Gabriel, all of them brought here for a reason and yet had done nothing to move things towards that reason. And that was Helen's fault, she hadn't been able to say anything for quite a while. She had asked them all here, or more like pleaded as Louie did not want to hear any of this. But somehow Godric must have convinced him that it would be worth while because Louie had shown up and was sitting alone on a fallen tree trunk, arms crossed and not saying a word. It was this image that had scared her off of saying anything and what had lead Godric to finally breaking the silence. "I thought we all came here for a reason, to learn the truth. Isn't that why you called this meeting Helen?"

"Yes." She replied in a near whisper, looking to the side where Gabriel was sitting close by and he sent her an encouraging smile even though he too didn't know what she was about to tell them. But she was still grateful for his loyalty to be there for her even when he was still in the dark about her past. She looked back up to her two former lovers and clenched her hands tightly, wondering how in the hell she was suppose to do this. "I just don't know where to start exactly..."

"The beginning seems to be like a good place..." Louie spat out bitterly, his tone stinging her as it was full of anger and disgust, something he had never shown her before she was a vampire. He actually looked at her across the clearing with unfriendly eyes. "Or have you forgotten your mistakes from all those years ago?"

"Hey, don't be a jackass." Gabriel suddenly hissed, his eyes shooting over to Louie and even thought Gabriel was only 500 years old, he had a look in his eyes that said he would go up against Louie if he didn't like his tone. "This is tough for her alright. Be grateful she's telling us anything."

"I'm going to tell you everything Louie, I know I owe you that." She spoke directly to him, almost not taking notice of the others as she watched the man she had loved in the last moments of her former life. It was going to be hard to tell them all this, but it was only fair after what she put him and Godric through. And Gabriel too deserved to know the truth. He had been so patient with her since she turned him and even though he wanted to understand, he knew enough not to push too hard. But this was not about her, it was about them and she was only hoping that the truth would somehow fix her mistakes. "Well firstly, I should say that the blame you put on Godric for my supposed death was unwarranted. I wasn't attacked by werewolves like you were told."

"What?" Louie hissed, sitting up with his arms tightly crossed. "That's what I was told …."

"I know that was what you were told, but it wasn't true. I was never attacked by werewolves. That was a lie put out to everyone by my father." Helen found herself frowning down at her lap as she said this. It had been quite a long time since she had revisited these memories and remembering what her own father had said to her and then lied about was hard for her to drag back up again. But it had to be done. She could no longer keep it in. "My death was faked and no one knew the truth besides my parents."

"What do you mean faked?" Godric asked, his expression a little more kinder then Louie's was. "Are you saying that your mother and father planned this?"

"Sort of. It was more my father's doing and my mother just went along with it. But yes, they did plan for this to be the truth. Because they were ashamed of me." She told them, her eyes still on her lap as the night wind blew her blonde hair across her face. She could remember with such clarity the way her parents had looked at her when they had seen what she had become. She remembered the fear and sadness in her mother's eyes, as well as the shame and disgust coming from her father. And to him, she was still dead even though she had come back as a vampire. It still burned her to this day. "You see, even though they knew of you two, they didn't approve of my involvement with either one of you guys since the beginning because you were vampires. They never said it but I could hear their thoughts at night as they slept, expressing how disgraceful it was to be any way associated with our natural enemy. So when I became a vampire, they took it upon themselves to use it as a way to throw me out. They faked my death because they knew how much I loved the vampires and even more so for what I had become: a vampire/Faerie hybrid."

"They just cast you out? Just like that?" Gabriel asked, his frown turning from Louie to her and she looked at him sadly and nodded. "They disowned you because you were turned?"

"Yes. My father said I was no longer welcome in the village just as I was no longer welcome in the family. He said I wasn't his daughter and I was simply a monster that had no business among the Fae anymore. And since the village was surrounded by walls, I wasn't allowed to step through the entrance. So they told me to flee and said they were going to pass my death off as a result of being attacked by werewolves and that they had burned my body in a funeral ceremony. They didn't want anything to do with me." Helen felt her eyes get heavy with liquid but she had to fight those tears back if she had any intention of getting this all out. "They told the village their version of the truth and everyone had believed them. I watched from a hill in the distance as they lit a fire as evidence of my cremation."

"I remember seeing the burnt earth where they said your body had lied. It had brought me to my knees when they said you were dead." Louie murmured, not looking at any one as he spoke as he appeared to be in his own haze of thoughts and memories. "If you were outcast from the village, then why did you not wait for Godric or myself to return for you?"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, I was too overwhelmed with my recent turn and even more so by what my father had done. If I had still had a beating heart it would have broken. It still felt like that when he said he didn't want me anymore." Helen felt a lone red tear make its way down her pale cheek and she didn't bother to rub it away. Another one would just take its place. "It just tore apart whatever humanity I had left in me and I felt so deep into my own darkness that I just fled the country and left you two behind. I wandered the world alone for the next 500 years because I felt like I had no place where I belonged. It wasn't until I came across Gabriel and turned him that I began to feel my soul piece back together."

"I still don't understand completely..." Godric began, scratching his short brown hair with one hand. "Why would you think you had no where to belong if you knew both Louie and I loved you?"

"It's different. You two loved me when I was a Faerie, not a vampire. How could you still love me when I was no longer what you loved in the beginning?" She asked out loud, for once, looking at Louie as she said this as it had been her greatest fear at the time of her turning. That when they saw her for what she now was that they would no longer want her either and she couldn't bear the thought of being disowned by more people she loved. "If my own family didn't love me when I became a vampire, then how could I expect you guys too? You never wanted this for me anyway."

"We would have understood Helen. We wouldn't have outcast you like your parents did." Louie replied, gone was the expression of disgust and had been replaced by one of pain, but she wasn't sure if the pain was for her or himself. "Yes we didn't want you to become what we are, but if it was against your will..."

"Wait! How did you know becoming a vampire was against my will?" She heard herself demand, knowing she hadn't told them that part yet. She looked at their faces for a clue but they simply shrugged in response. And it wasn't until she looked at her progeny's guilty face did she understand. "Gabriel! You told them?"

"Only what I knew, and trust me that wasn't a lot." Gabriel stated stubbornly, a rare occurrence as he was too respectful to counter with a remark most times. "I just told them that you have been turned against your will, that's all I could really say since you never told me the truth behind that."

"What is the truth about that anyway?" Godric wanted to know, his calm face turning dark at the mention she had been taken advantage of the way she had that night, meaning even now he still cared enough to get upset that she had been hurt. "You told us why you stayed away, but you haven't talked about the night you turned."

"I don't like to think about it too much. It just makes me hate myself even more then I already do." She retorted, getting to her feet and turning her back on the group as she stared out into the blackness of the woods. "You see, my maker wanted my blood, he wanted me to let him feed on me willingly, but I refused of course and that angered him. He was insulted by my refusal and sought to take revenge on me. If he couldn't have what he wanted, then I couldn't either."

"So he drained you and turned you." Godric finished the process for her as they all knew what it entailed and his voice soothed her when the memories of that night flashed before her eyes. "And he obviously released you..."

"No he didn't, I killed him." Helen found herself interrupting, her confession causing gasps from behind her as she knew it would. It wasn't often when you heard of a progeny turning on their maker nor was it ever heard of that the progeny came out on top, but in her case she had. And it wouldn't be the first time. She turned back around, finding the others also on their feet as she continued in explanation. "I know how shocking that must be to hear, but he was cruel and he took my life from me. I was vengeful and full of hate and anger for what his actions had caused me to lose. And I took my sadness over losing my family out on him and I hunted him down and was able to kill him."

"How did you manage that?" Gabriel wanted to know, looking the most taken aback at this and she knew he would be. The two of them had such a good relationship and he probably couldn't imagine any progeny killing their maker. He looked just a little too surprised at how much he didn't know about her. "I mean, makers are always stronger."

"That's where I had the advantage. He had only been turned a short time before I was and he hadn't yet curbed his thirst for blood so when he smelled me that night, his instinct took over his common sense. He didn't remember that I was a faerie after he turned me, or that I had retained my abilities. That mistake proved to be his undoing when I was able to get the upper hand and stab a branch through his chest. And I was free of him forever and I never regretted it."

"I can't believe you killed your own maker." Godric shook his head, almost out of pride and admiration. "I'm almost jealous. I wish I had done the same thing but someone beat me and Louie to it. Louie was the one hunting our maker down the the nights I was suppose to be looking out for you. But he never found him."

"Well you're not going to like what I have to say next. Because my maker, and Mark weren't the only vampires I have killed in my lifetime. I killed 3 in total." Helen pointed out slowly, feeling her stone body tighten up as the memory of what she had done came flooding back to her. She didn't know how it was going to be received but since she was on a honest streak tonight, she knew she had to forge ahead and confess everything. She kept her eyes on Godric and Louie when she let it slip out. "I also killed your maker."

"You what?" Louie's jaw fell open and there was no wall to what he was feeling, it was clearly displayed on his face. "That was you?"

"Don't ask me how I managed to do it, it was mostly luck on my part." She answered, turning her gaze to Godric as she knew this was going to affect him the most, given the torture his maker had put him through. "But I remember what you had told me he had done to you when you were still human, and I carried that with me into my immortal life. And I was still feeling vengeful about being turned against my will and somehow I was able to track him down and stake him. Because I knew it would have been too hard for you to face him again, so I did it for you."

No one said anything after that for the longest time after that last confession and as much as it took out of Helen for having to tell it all, she knew it was harder for the three of them to listen to it. At least she had a thousand years to get use to what she had done and become. But them? They were already set in their ways and were just hearing it for the first time, so of course it would be some time before it all set in and got through to them. She just hoped that it was enough to at least make them want to all hold on to each other.

"You said you hated yourself...and what you had become." Godric spoke up after a while, gaining her eyes on him as he was the one who sounded like he was leaning towards letting her in at some point down the road. "If you hated being a vampire that much, then why didn't you meet the true death and pass on like your family claimed you had? Why go on existing?"

"Because as much as I hated and still hate what I am, I didn't want to die that much more." Helen replied, feeling the blood tears return to her eyes and she had to turn away again. "And I suppose in some odd way, I was praying that somehow things would work themselves out with us."

"So where do you guys go from here?" Gabriel wanted to know, looking like he wanted to step over to her side but she shook her head at him and he held back. "How do you put all this pain and anguish behind you?"

"We take it day by day and see where we end up naturally." Louie was the one to surprise her the most with this sentence and she turned her blood rimmed eyes to where he stood across the clearing from her, looking like he was fighting himself over something. "We don't push it, we don't force it. If it happens, it happens."

"I know I messed up and I can never truly be forgiven but I don't want to lose any of you." Helen confessed, knowing how pathetic she sounded at that moment but she could care less. It wasn't about sounding strong or right. It was about being honest, that was what was going to help undo what she did. "I already lost my family when my father disowned me. And after a few hundred years, they are dead and I have no one left from that time besides you two. Please don't say I've lost more."

Louie surprised her when he flashed forward in the second she stopped speaking. But it was what he did after that, that really took her by surprise. She didn't know what drove him to reach out and touch her but that was exactly what he did. His fingers brushed against her face for the first time in over a thousand years and she felt the same sensation go through her vampire body as it would have had she still been mortal. If there was any doubt that she still knew what love was now, that doubt went away the second he touched her.

"You messed up. You lied, betrayed, hurt and turned me against my brother and best friend. You don't deserve my forgiveness or a second chance." He told her honestly, staring deep in to her eyes so she could see just how serious he was. It was in that instant that she was certain she would never get him back even if she wanted to. Her faults were staring at her right in the face and she couldn't hide from the hope that was dwindling before her. "You say you don't want to lose us, but I'm not ready to love you again, not after what you have done. But I also can't deny that I do still feel the same for you as I did a thousand years ago..."

"Really?" Helen wasn't expecting that and it took a lot to surprise her and hearing that Louie still cared definitely did it. She dared to place her hand over his and was delighted when he didn't pull away. "So what now?"

"Now..." Louie frowned, looking away to Godric who he had his own issues with and seemed to speak right to him. "Now we all begin healing."

20 minutes later

"And you're sure you are ok? He didn't try anything after I left?" Molly asked frantically into the phone later that night to Allison as she walked around her apartment putting things in order after laying Susan down in her bed, the child fast asleep. After she had left the door open a crack, she had jumped for her cell phone to call her other daughter, just wanting to make sure the girl was alright after Godric had shown up unexpectedly. Despite the fact that he had gone to war for Allison, Molly didn't completely trust him after what he did and she wanted to hear for herself that he hadn't attacked her for a second time. "You can tell me you know..."

"I'm fine, I promise you." Allison interrupted with a slight laugh that hinted at how silly she thought this question was and that in turn made Molly relax a great deal. "Godric just came to talk and then he left. And now I'm just waiting for Eric to get home."

"Well make sure he behaves himself as well." Molly chimed in, a frown decorating her face as her thoughts turned to Godric's progeny who was now her daughter's fiancee. It was strange to think that her first born child was going to be getting married when Molly had never been close to that. But she supposed Allison was just one of those lucky people who found their soul mate early in life And while she didn't particularly like that her daughter was going to marry a vampire, at least she could see that Eric would do anything and go to any lengths to keep her alive and safe. And that was all any mother could ask for. "I'm happy for you two, it seems like the natural course your relationship was suppose to take."

"I think you're right. It was the right time for us to take this step and I don't regret waiting the extra time it took to get to this point." Allison said, reminding both herself and Molly about the disastrous first proposal that she had spoken about before the first battle. "Although I'm sure Eric still wished I hadn't turned him down the first time. He took it kind of hard."

Knock...knock...knock

"Yea well, that's a man for you. They take things personally even when it makes sense not to do something." Molly replied into the phone as she got up from the couch and went to answer the door, wondering who the hell would be showing up at this hour. She kept the phone to her ear, not wanting to hang up if it turned out to be no one as she reached for the doorknob. However when she opened the door and her eyes landed on the foreign but slightly familiar vampire standing in the hallway in front of her, she felt a weight settle in the pit of her stomach. "Allie, I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow."

Molly didn't even wait for a response and simply ended the call before slipping the phone in her back pocket and raised her eyes back up to the vampire's face. His sudden appearance had taken her by surprise as it had been almost a year since she had last seen him and she wasn't expecting his arrival at all. It had come clear out of the blue but deep down she should have been thinking about this all along since revealing herself to be Allison's mother and with everything that had happened since then, she should have realized it would only be a matter of time before he showed up for answers. And as he stood there waiting for an invitation to come in, it hit her that this was exactly why he was here. He wanted answers to something that only she could give him.

"Please, come in." She reluctantly said, stepping aside and waving him in even though she hated it as she did it. She didn't want vampires in her home with her little daughter sleeping only a few rooms away, but they couldn't exactly discuss their business out in the hallway. And he had never shown any violence towards her before, so as uneasy as she felt about it, she still did since she knew he wouldn't hurt her and risk not getting the answer he wanted. Once he stepped over the threshold, she quickly shut the door and motioned to the living room. "Do you want to sit down?"

"I think I will." He replied, nodding to her as he ran a single hand through his longish sandy blonde hair and his eyes looked at her intently before he dropped down on one end of the couch and sat back with his arms crossed. She sat on the other end cautiously as he watched her with guarded eyes. "It's been a while since we last spoke."

"I know, I hadn't had anything to report for months." Molly nodded shortly, her hands in her lap as her eyes never left his face. He looked so young, so handsome. If no one looked closely, they would assume he was a normal young man in his early 20's. But in actuality he was a 978 year old vampire, a vampire she had almost wished she had not agreed to help. "I believe the last time we spoke was when you pushed me towards the Dallas coven after we made the deal."

"Yes, the deal that has been on my mind for the past year. The one we were both suppose to benefit from..." He retorted almost blankly, his face showing he was thinking about that night almost 12 months ago when he had come to her after finding out who the witches were going to target. "So far I haven't gotten anything in return. And I helped you find out where those witches were because of who they were trying to get at. You do remember the conditions of our deal right?"

"Yes. You would reveal who they were targeting if I helped you get what you wanted in tracking someone down. I remember perfectly." Molly almost groaned in remembrance of the pack she had made with this vampire. A pack that had seemed to be the solution back then but could cause trouble now.

She had been desperate back then, knowing that the baby she had given up for adoption almost 24 years earlier was going to be targeted by witches and she didn't know which ones. And the only one who seemed to know was this vampire and who knew what his motives were behind finding out this information since he had no apparent connection to Allison. But yet she had agreed to working with him once he revealed that he knew Allison was her daughter and was going to have the enemy on her back. Some how, he had known that Allison had a connection o Godric and that at some point down the road it would lead to her knowing Louie and that in turn would hopefully draw out the vampire he had been searching for. Helen.

She didn't know who Helen was at the time, but if she was going to appear at some point then she would gladly give up her location if she was ever seen. So once Molly had agreed to doing this for him, he had given her a head's up about the witch's plans in return for her letting him know if Helen ever showed up. They had exchanged numbers but Molly had never had a reason to use it to speak to him. She was so focused on saving her daughter and then resurrecting her that she almost had forgotten about this deal she made. And not even when Helen had saved Allison from Mark did Molly think to call him. So much had happened that she had let it slip her mind and it was only now that it all came rushing back to her and she felt a wave of guilt hit her.

"I should have told you this days ago but there was a sudden problem with the rest of the coven that needed to be taken care of. And it complicated things and took away all my focus. And I should have called you before, but I simply forgot." Molly explained, staring down at her hands, hating that she was allowing this vampire to make her feel guilty for not following through the minute she had seen Helen for the first time. But a deal was a deal. He helped her and now she had to help him. No matter what he would do with the information. She looked up at his young and forever immortal face and sighed, knowing that what she was about to say could potentially ruin things. "But the war's over now and I can tell you that Helen has come out of the shadows. I saw her for myself and from what I gathered, she is staying somewhere in Shreveport. She should be easy enough to find."

"Excellent." The vampire said, smiling cryptically as he got up slowly to leave and straightened out his clothes before turning to look at her. "Thank you for this information. Our pack has been fulfilled and our paths will now split away."

"What exactly are you going to do now?" Molly asked, jumping up from the couch nervously as he edged away for the door. She had never found out what he was planning to do when she did her part of this deal. And now she could have possibly given him something to use to potentially do something horrible. What was wrong with her? "You never did tell me why you went into this deal with me."

"You had your reasons and I have mine." He answered simply, his voice calm and level but she could see something brewing behind his eyes and for once she wished she had her daughter's ability to read vampire minds. He didn't look evil but then again he was a vampire and a very old one at that. He was probably just very good at perfecting his poker face. He shook his head at her. "I have been searching for her for a very long time. That's all you need to know."

"Why are you trying to find Helen?" Molly asked, unwilling to let this go as her stubborn personality was hungry for an answer. Perhaps she should have questioned this when she was first making the deal but when it came to her daughter's life remaining in tact, she acted first and asked questions later. But now he was leaving and she had to know whether she had made a mistake in telling him what she knew. "Who is she to you?"

The vampire had already opened the door and was preparing to step out into the hallway when her comment made him pause and turn back to her. His brown eyes searched her face as if he were trying to decide something and she wondered what it was that she had said that made him stop himself from leaving. Finally his eyes went back to hers and she watched him shrug his shoulders before he said one last thing before he disappeared.

"My name is Alec...and Helen is my older sister."

Later that night

"Um Eric...What are you doing?" I asked with a raised eyebrow as I walked into the kitchen after taking a shower and not only did I find him back in the house for the first time that night, but of all things he was standing by the island counter furiously chopping something that I couldn't quite see. I ran my hands through my damp hair and walked towards the counter, trying to fight back a laugh at this odd and very domestic looking sight. "Are...are you cooking?"

"If you have to ask then I seriously misinterpreted your intelligence." He replied, looking up with a smirk and set down the knife he was holding and leveled me with a stare. "Why are you giving me that look? Is it that unbelievable that I would do something like this?"

"Frankly yes it is. It's very rare that you do nice things and you already proposed. I figured that was the end of your niceness streak." I teased, leaning on the edge of the counter and looking around in amazement of seeing Eric doing something I never thought he would do. I didn't know what he was making, but there was food everywhere. Vegetables and meats, broth and spices, pasta and starches. The entire counter was covered by something or another as as he moved his hands all over the place, it slowly started to empty. I looked up at him and cocked my head to the side. "Ok, I have to ask why you are cooking. I thought human food disgusted vampires?"

"Oh it does and I had never had any desire to handle this shit before." He retorted with a sickening look as he paused in his movements and met my eyes and for some reason, he smirked triumphantly like he knew something I should have known. "You really don't know why I'm cooking for you? You don't what tonight is?"

"The night after our engagement..." I shrugged searching my mind for something other then that, that would have lead Eric to doing something so sweet. But nothing came to me. My head had been so full of fear and anger and complete happiness that the war was over and we could move on with out lives, that I wasn't thinking the most logically. "Ok fine. You tell me why this night is so special."

"Think about it. It's almost fall..." Eric hinted, trying to get me to that conclusion on my own but I just stared at him until he rolled his eyes. "It's your 24th birthday."

"Oh shit. I completely forgot!" I exclaimed, immediately slapping myself in the forehead for letting such an important day slip my mind. I felt like an idiot. I couldn't believe I didn't remember my birthday had been coming up and if it hadn't been for Eric mentioning it, then I would never have thought about it. But I guess with everything that has been going on it with the witches and the war, that it was only natural to forget I was turning another year older. "And you totally remembered. Hence the home cooked meal."

"See? Aren't you glad you agreed to marry me?" He asked, sticking his tongue out before coming around the counter over to me with that damn smirk. "I will now pick up your slack for the rest of our lives."

"I think its the other way around, you're the one that always need me to clean up after you." I said pointedly, not able to stop the laugh that escaped from my lips. It was weird to feel this carefree and lighthearted with Eric when we usually had some kind of enemy at our back. But for once in our relationship, there was nothing haunting hanging over us and we had the chance to be truly happy and enjoy our time together. I was filled up with such a swell of love for him right now and I wanted nothing more then to just be with him. I looked over the counter, my eyes landed on the meal in progress before I said. "Forget the food."

"And why is that?" He pretended to question, trying and failing to look innocent as I grabbed on to his shirt and he jumped in mock fear. "Oh my God, are you insinuating that we do something bad?"

"Like you're not already thinking about it." I giggled, forcing up the hem of his black shirt so my fingers skimmed his toned stomach muscles and sent a blush spreading across my cheeks. I couldn't pull off his shirt because he was way too tall, so I stood there stubbornly with my hands on my hips. "You want to help me out here?"

"You're trying to take advantage of me sexually aren't you?" He was playing a game, I saw it in his eyes and I knew him all too well to know how his mind operated. He was feeling playful tonight. "Help! My fiancee is trying to rape me."

"Oh don't pretend like you won't enjoy it.." I smirked before wrapping my hands around his neck and pulling his lips down to meet mine...

2 hours later

" Are you ok?" Eric looked at me as he said this later that night as we sat out on the front porch of our house with me on his lap and our naked bodies dressed in nothing but sheets. We had spent the better part of the last few hours making love and it was quite possibly the sweetest and most satisfying experience so far. I leaned back against his cold hard chest, enjoying the chill I got from our skin contact and it had a calming effect on me as I leaned my head against his. It almost made me forget the anxiety that had creeped up on me and was now refusing to leave.

"I'm just...thinking." I said slowly, watching the dark night warily but there was nothing amiss in the air, no enemy coming to destroy us, nothing was out of place. Eric and I were alive and engaged. We were finally getting a chance to relax and be happy. Everything was perfect. Or was it? I should have been nothing but at peace right now but I couldn't manage it. "I can't help but think about everything that has happened over the past couple of months. My resurrection, my new ability, the whole fiasco with Helen and Godric, the attack, Mark, the 2nd battle with the witches. There has been so much pain and destruction, and death. It makes me feel suffocated to remember it all. "

"That will pass." Eric nodded against me, his chin rubbing on my bare shoulder. "In time, all the pain will become nothing more then a memory. It won't feel so fresh."

"But it is fresh and there are times I can't bare it." I muttered, my eyes trailed down at where Eric's arms were locked around my midsection and I sighed. "There are times when I wish we could all go back, back before all this started. Or at least have a new beginning. I hate that we have had so much happen to us in such a small amount of time. It's too much. And I just want to start over."

" So let's do it...let's start over." Eric lifted his head off my shoulder and turned my face around so our eyes met. "You want a new beginning? Then that's what we'll do. "

"And how are we suppose to do that here? Where everywhere we turn there are memories of everything and anything that has ever happened?" I pressed my lips together in a tight line, knowing that it wasn't going to be as easy as Eric thought. Sure we may say we want a fresh start and leave everything behind, but no matter how badly we wanted that to happen, it just wasn't possible. Whether we were here at our house, or at the sight where my old house use to stand, or Fangtasia or anywhere in these surrounding areas, there was always going to be some remaining memory of the battles that were fought and the lives lost. And that was going to make life hard to get through. It's not that I wanted to leave my old life, I just wanted a break from it. I looked at Eric and touched his face with my fingers. " I wish it were that easy, but it's not. Not while every place around here reminds us of..."

" So let's leave." Eric interrupted with the most ridiculous statement in the world that had me frowning at him as if he just suggested that I ram a stake through his chest. But he looked completely serious. And judging by his next statement, he was crazy too. "I'm not kidding. Let's just go get dressed and get the hell out of here. We can leave the country for a while and travel together. It will be good for us."

"You're serious?" I looked at him for a long while, waiting for the moment when he would break into a smile and start laughing, but that never happened. He just stared back at me, patiently waiting for my answer. And that's how I knew he was being beyond serious. I sat back with my eyes wide. "Holy shit, you are. "

"We need some time just for the two of us after...well, you know. " Eric's face clouded over briefly with a look of pain and I knew right away what he was thinking about. Only one event could make him look that sad and upset and I knew he was thinking about the block of time before my resurrection that he had spent thinking I was dead and he would never have me again. But then he brushed it away and set his eyes on my face with a much more happier expression. "We can go to Europe or anywhere you want for a few weeks and just enjoy being together again without any threats hanging over us."

"That's sounding very good right about now. " I said, warming up to the idea. I knew I probably shouldn't be running off with Eric to some other country, because God only knows what he and I would do if we were left with each other. And I know Sookie would be worried without me being close by for an indefinite amount of time. And I should stick around and attempt to work things out with Godric. And Louie would probably need me now that Helen was in the picture. So many people needed me and I wanted to be there for them. But Eric was right, we needed this time together to just be with each other. We didn't have that the last time and now that there was no threat going on, there couldn't have been a more perfect time to go through with it. I looked at Eric and felt a smile unfolding across my lips. "Ok, let's do it. Let's leave."

The End...for now !

A/N: Yes this is the end of fic numero cuatro. And boy has it been an exciting ride. I'm so sad it ended because this was my favorite so far to write. And I'm glad so many people loved it. I hope you will continnue to stick with this series because if you thought the drama was over, then you thought wrong!