Chapter 35

On Sunday, February 6th, a brand new mattress and box spring were delivered to 4788 Meadowbrook Street in White Plains, a man visited his ailing mother in New Rochelle, a group of young basketball players settled in for a five hour bus ride from Boston to Syracuse and a young couple prepared dinner for a family of nine.

Hope had never been much of a cook. Her dad liked to tease her that she was a graduate of the Sara Ellis School of Cooking - which wasn't saying much. When called upon to perform magic in the kitchen, she tended to keep to the basics: pasta, chicken, salads or frozen prepared meals. Her fiancé, who had a slightly more elaborate repertoire - and a more discriminating palate - had long ago accepted that, in their relationship, and following in the footsteps of his in-laws, he was destined to be the main cook and bottle-washer once they finally tied the knot.

He'd suggested lasagna, Caesar salad with homemade croutons and an apple crisp with ice cream for dessert. The menu was more in deference to his father's simple taste in food than anything else. Fred Armstrong, having grown up on this very land, liked to stick to the basics: put him in front of a large t-bone steak and baked potato or mashed potatoes and meatloaf and the guy was a happy camper.

After marrying the former Bonnie Gentry, his palate had gradually evolved to include a few more what he liked to call 'ethnic' options, notably Italian favourites such as spaghetti with meat sauce, gnocchi (something he loved to eat but could not pronounce) and veal scaloppine, one of his wife's most successful dishes. Such culinary delights as tajine, naan bread, hummus, pad thai, falafel and shish taouk were still way beyond his comfort zone but, hey… baby steps.

Cameron was whipping out the bread maker from underneath the kitchen counter when Hope appeared, carrying a couple of pounds of ground beef from the second refrigerator the Armstrongs kept in their cold room.

'We're making bread?' she asked, her voice rising up an octave.

'Yeah, it's easy. I've seen my mom make it dozens of times.'

Hope's eyes grew to the size of saucers. Over the years, she'd watched her dad make muffins, cakes, cookies and other baked goods but she couldn't remember him ever making bread from scratch.

'Isn't it… hard to make?' she asked.

Cameron gave her a puzzled look and fiddled with the knobs on the front of the machine. 'Easy peasy. All we need to decide is if we want to make country white, cheese or multigrain.'

'Okay…' Hope said with a shrug. Who was she to complain when fresh bread was in the offing?

He pointed to the nearby counter. 'I took out the recipe for the apple crumble. Do you want to get started on peeling those apples?'

'Sure' she said, taking a step closer and purposefully crowding him. She gave him a quick hip check and he glanced over at her with a boyish grin.

'You're in a good mood' he commented.

'Yeah well, last night was… nice.'

'If you call running through the yard and sneaking in through the back door in our boots and underwear fun…' he countered with a smirk.

'I was talking about what happened before we went streaking through the yard but, hey…'

For a guy who held down a full time job, paid rent on an apartment, drove his own car and otherwise acted like a responsible adult, it had been amusing to watch the sheer horror on his face when he'd realized his mommy and daddy were about to catch him with his pants down, doing the nasty.

'You know you've got some moves there, babe' he whispered. 'I didn't know you could take those stairs two at a time like that.'

She giggled. 'I woke up with some hay still stuck in my hair but I managed to clean myself up before your mom came snooping.'

Cameron seemed to take offence to her last comment. Like pretty well every other red-blooded man on the planet, he didn't take kindly to any derogatory remarks about his sainted mother.

'She's just… looking out for me, that's all' he mumbled.

Hope looked over her shoulder, making sure they were alone. She grabbed for Cam's butt cheeks, squeezing as he pulled away, seemingly horrified.

'Hope! Stop it!'

She chuckled; he could be such a wuss. 'What? You afraid I might corrupt you? Or maybe your mommy will send you off to bed without dessert.'

Cam's nose was definitely out of joint. 'Look, this is just the way it is around here. I'll admit my parents are a little… straight-laced.'

She rolled her eyes at the understatement of the year. 'Is that what you call it? Straight-laced?'

Cam's eyes narrowed as he leaned down to grab the sack of flour from underneath the kitchen counter.

Hope leaned in to whisper. 'What do you suppose they'd say if they knew we sleep together?'

'Oh, they know we sleep together' he replied with a decisive nod.

'Then, why did you act like the sky was falling when they came home and almost found us making out.'

He scoffed. 'Knowing is one thing, having to witness it is another.'

'That's the height of hypocrisy' she whined.

Cameron opened the large sack of flour and measured out a cup. 'Maybe so but… that's how they are and we need to respect that.'

He placed his hands over his eyes, ears and mouth and Hope laughed. 'Oh, I get it, see no evil…'

'Hear no evil, speak no evil' he said, finishing the proverbial principle.

He stopped what he was doing and turned to face her, his hand gently caressing her cheek.

'Look, the next time we visit, we'll be married and Mom and Dad will roll out the welcome mat, probably insist we take their bed and give us all the privacy we want. We can make out 'til the cows come home and they won't say a word.'

Hope cleared her throat. 'All right' she said with a sigh.

He kissed the tip of her nose. 'It's just the way it is around here.'

'What's just the way it is around here?' came Bonnie Armstrong's voice.

Cameron grew flustered and Hope came to his rescue. 'Cam was telling me that you always have a big meal on Sunday nights.'

'Not always, honey' Bonnie said to her son. 'How can I help?'

Hope dropped what she was doing and walked over, taking her future mother-in-law by the shoulders and pointing her out of the kitchen.

'You can go sit down and relax, put your feet up for a change.'

'Relax?' the woman said. 'I'm not sure how to do that.'

'Well, you can read, watch television, do some knitting, whatever you want but Cameron and I are making dinner so, scoot.'

The woman smiled and let herself be led out of the kitchen.

'Go on, Ma' Cameron called out after her. 'I'll even bring you a glass of wine.'

'Ooooh, wine!' Bonnie Armstrong said with a girlish laugh. 'And it's not even Christmas.'

WCWCWC

'You know, I would have been perfectly happy with any old bed but you know Sara. She wasn't satisfied until she tried every single mattress in the greater New York City area. Twice. So, like I said, the bed never came yesterday and we ended up having to spend the night on the hide-a-bed in the family room and now my back's sore' Neal said, wrapping up the long sordid tale of what had happened the day before.

He rubbed his backside for emphasis and glanced in his mother's direction, noticing she was sound asleep once more. She'd been awake when he'd started telling the story but now there was a soft rumble emanating from her lips as Linda Bennett snored softly.

Despite his desire to keep his mom sheltered from the harshness of life, Neal would often use his visits to Blue Skies to blather on about those annoying little things in his life, those day to day frustrations as a gallery owner, art school director, dad and husband. He would use his mom as a sounding board, often mistakenly thinking she was sound asleep as he droned on in great detail as he'd just been doing for the past half hour. He would share his thoughts, his worries under the mistaken impression that she couldn't hear him - which was not always the case. On more than one occasion, she'd piped up unexpectedly and offered him some advice or made a comment, making it obvious she'd heard everything.

He carried on with unloading his woes.

'Sara's going to this guy's place this week to inventory his stuff. Right! He's probably waiting to ambush her with some expensive bottle of wine and an overpriced dinner from some obscenely lavish restaurant. I really don't know why I let him get to me… as far as I know he hasn't behaved inappropriately but still… you know, Sara's a beautiful woman and it's not like she's getting any at home at the moment.'

'You know, I could have given her that kind of life if I'd wanted to' he continued with a frown.

'Who am I kidding? I'd be in prison if I tried to give Sara the kind of stuff this guy has… jewelry, fine dining, a summer place up in the Hamptons. It's just not fair, you know… Sara deserves so much more than our little house in the suburbs.'

His mind wandered, his mouth barely keeping up. 'I've been thinking of getting a dye job, do you think that would be a good idea?' he asked the comatose woman as he ran his hand through his locks. 'Make me look a little less… washed out. This guy, Piper, he's got jet black hair, not a grey speck in sight. Probably sees his colourist every week.'

He stopped to catch his breath and make sure she couldn't hear him. He let his voice drop to a murmur. 'We still haven't… you know, had sex since before New Years. Shit! I haven't had sex this year' he said with a head shake as he realized just how long it had been.

'I'm scared to try. I know it's stupid. Sara's been a good sport about it but… how long is she going to put up with me… not putting out. I want to but I don't want to fall flat on my face in the middle of it, you know. It's easier to just avoid it for the time being.'

He glanced at her again just to make sure she couldn't hear him. 'I suppose I could practice on my own, see if I can get over the goal line. Yeah, maybe I'll try that, see how that works out.'

Linda let out a particularly loud snort and woke up, startled which in turn startled Neal, considering what he'd just been sharing.

'What did you say, honey?' she asked.

'Nothing, nothing Mom' he said as he helped her sit up and fluffed her pillow.

He glanced at his watch. 'Dinner should be here any minute. Are you sure you don't want to eat in the communal dining room tonight? It might do you good to see some of the other residents. I'm in no rush. I could take you, we could use the wheelchair and I could sit with you.'

She waved her hand, dismissing the suggestion. Except for using the toilet, she hadn't been out of her bed in days. Neal ran his hand over her soft, grey hair and smiled down at her. She was looking particularly fragile and it hit him again just how vulnerable she was in this state.

'You sure Mom?'

Her voice, when she spoke - which was less and less often - was weak and washed out and Neal didn't like it one bit. She'd been on a roller-coaster these past few weeks, a few good days followed by periods where she slept most of the time and barely said a word. The oxygen mask she wore was now a permanent fixture, especially following her bout of pneumonia which the doctor had been reticent to declare completely resolved. Just when she seemed to be on the mend, her fever would spike again and she'd have a few days of horrible coughing, wearing herself out.

'Caitlin…' she said, trying to catch her breath.

'Caitlin's fine. She's working at the coffee shop 'til seven but she said she'd drop by and help you get ready for bed.'

That seemed to bring a smile to her lips. 'Hope…' she said.

'Hope and Cam are still upstate visiting Cam's parents. They're supposed to call after dinner, apparently they have some big news for us.'

'Baby?' she whispered breathlessly.

'No! No! Of course not. I think they've settled on a date for their wedding and they want to tell all of us at the same time.'

Linda nodded and her eyes fluttered shut.

Watching his mom gradually fade away was hard for him to witness. She was still smart and quick-witted — a trait she shared with her daughter-in-law. But lately she seemed to be losing her zest for life. Neal watched her chest rise and fall with difficulty, each breath seemingly a fierce battle. He was forever grateful that he'd managed to move her to New York where he could watch over her these last few years. The thought of her left to die all alone in St. Louis was more than he could bear.

He was just about to ease her back down on the bed when she spoke again, as if their conversation hadn't just ended abruptly.

'How's our boy?' she murmured.

'Liam's fine, Mom. School's good, basketball's good. He's getting good grades.'

'Did he make up with that boy?' she asked breathlessly.

The boy she was referring to was Cody Miller - Liam's main squeeze all through high school. She would have no idea about Liam's more recent dalliances with Todd Greenway - or the drama that was unfolding four hours north in Syracuse. Neal and Sara purposefully kept her out of the loop when it came to the daily ins and outs of the kids lives. To be honest, at times, even he had trouble keeping up. And besides she didn't need to know the intricacies of their loves lives and their daily struggles - or his and Sara's for that matter. The broad strokes were more than enough for her to handle.

The exception had been the turmoil surrounding Jesse's visit; Caitlin had been unable to resist confiding in her grandmother, sharing her disappointment at what she'd deemed a betrayal of the worst kind. She'd also needed to debrief about what she'd learned about Neal's past, badgering her grandmother for details about her foster dad as a young boy. With that secret out in the open, Linda had been forthcoming about the role she'd played in pushing her son away, how she'd prayed that someday they would reunite and how her dreams had come true against all odds when Neal had chosen to welcome her back into his life. One might have thought that these confessions would have put a damper on their close relationship but the contrary had been true; the two women had further bonded as they'd talked about Neal, then and now.

'No, no. Liam's not with Cody anymore. Remember Mom, I told you they broke up when Liam went away to university.'

She nodded, creases appearing on her forehead. He'd noticed that, as sharp as she'd once been, she was having more and more trouble with her short term memory. Her eyes fluttered shut once more and Neal sat back, settling in to watch her sleep.

Before long the attendant showed up carrying a tray of food. She placed it on a nearby table.

'Will you make sure she eats something?' the woman whispered as he nodded.

The disturbance wasn't enough to rouse her from her sleep and Neal reached out and took her hand, squeezing it.

'Hey Mom' he murmured. 'You hungry? Dinner's here.'

She smiled back wanly. Despite her total lack of appetite, he knew she'd make the effort to have a few bites.

Just for him.

WCWCWC

The phone calls came as expected, shortly after nine o'clock. First came Liam, letting them know he'd arrived safely back in Syracuse after a successful road trip. He and his dad did their usual post-game analysis and then the conversation turned to the fallout from the situation with Todd.

'The guys were great' Liam said. 'We went out for a drink after the game last night and we played some pool. It helped.'

'What time is your appointment at the counselling centre tomorrow?' Sara asked.

'Ten o'clock' he replied, his voice tentative. 'You know, I've been thinking… maybe I don't really need to go.'

Sara and Neal, who had been listening on speaker phone, exchanged worried looks and when Sara opened her mouth to speak, Neal put up his hand to stop her.

'That's entirely up to you, buddy' he said as he inhaled deeply. 'But sometimes it helps to have somebody to talk things out with.'

If anybody knew the benefits of getting support during a crisis, it was Neal. Never much of a navel gazer himself, he had nonetheless developed a newfound respect for mental health professionals and the support they could provide in helping you through a trying time. Following Sara's kidnapping and sexual assault, he'd had to drag her kicking and screaming to Marion Birch's office. The therapist's encouragement and sage advice had been crucial in helping Sara heal from the trauma but surprisingly, the joint sessions they'd attended with the woman had been just as beneficial for Neal as he tried to support his wife through the aftermath of her ordeal.

Little had he known at the time that he would require the woman's services to help him through his own crisis following Hope's horrific accident. It had taken a brutal intervention by friends and family before he'd agreed to consult Marion and, eventually, Jim McDougall, his addiction counsellor. When all was said and done, asking - and accepting - help had saved him from himself and had been an essential part of his healing.

Hopefully his son would figure that out before he got himself in too deep.

'You know, if it hadn't been for Jim and Marion, I'm not sure how things would have played out for me' Neal said, laying himself bare. 'Sometimes, just talking things out can help you organize your thoughts, make things a little clearer.'

'I suppose…' Liam said, considering his dad's sage advice.

There was silence on the line for a moment. 'All right, I'll go. But just this once.'

Sara reached out to squeeze Neal's arm and smiled up at him. 'That's a good plan, honey.'

'You know, things are pretty quiet at the school right now' Neal said - a bald-faced lie. 'I could come down for a day or two… I've been dying for some of Caruso's bucatini.'

'Naw, I've got classes all week. I'm fine Dad' Liam said, his voice faraway. 'How's Grandma doing?'

Neal hesitated for a brief moment. 'She's holding her own' he replied soberly.

'So, has Hope called with the big news yet?' Liam asked, changing gears.

The couple exchanged knowing looks; sounded like Hope had confided in her brother about her upcoming nuptials. Maybe if they played their cards right, they could get the goods ahead of time.

'It's exciting, huh?' Neal attempted, deflecting.

'Nice try Dad. You're not getting anything out of me' he chuckled.

Sara gave her husband an exaggerated eye roll; apparently, the kids could see right through him.

'Well, call if you need anything, okay buddy? I can be there in just a few hours.'

'I will. Love you guys' Liam said from across the miles.

'We love you, honey' Sara called out before hanging up.

Luckily, Hope's call came almost immediately on the heels of their conversation with Liam and the couple settled in side by side, in their brand new bed with Hope and Cam on speaker phone. Hope told them all about the mural she and the girls had painted and the meal she and Cam had shared in the stables the night before. She left out their hundred meter dash back to the house in their skivvies - and the reason why they'd had to make it in the first place and instead talked about the meal they'd just shared with the extended Armstrong clan - including Becky's boyfriend who had joined the family for dinner.

'Dad, we should get a bread maker. It's super easy' Hope enthused. 'You can even make raisin bread.'

'All right, sweet pea' Neal chuckled in response to her enthusiasm. 'I'll look into that.'

He knew her time living at home was short, hell, she was barely ever home as it was. If getting a bread maker could keep her home a little longer, he'd gladly invest in buying one and learning how to use it.

'How are things at the gallery?' Cameron asked. 'Is Mr. Burke coping all right without us.'

'Yeah, yeah, everything's fine' Neal replied. This was not the time to share Peter's big news; there'd be plenty of time to tell them when they got home.

'Anyway, Mom, Dad' Hope began, her voice slowing for emphasis. 'C-C-Cam and I wanted to tell you that we've finally set a date.'

'For the wedding' she added, as if there was any doubt as to what she was talking about.

There was silence down in White Plains as Neal and Sara held their breath.

'We've booked a church for May 22nd.'

Both Sara and Neal let out a yelp as the words sunk in. A church wedding… that was an unexpected wrinkle.

'That's wonderful, honey!' Sara called out.

'Congratulations kids!' Neal added.

'We're going to have a busy few months ahead of us. Maybe your mom and I can talk, Cam. See how we can help you guys' Sara offered.

'That sounds great Mrs. Caffrey, I'll let her know.'

There was some hootin' and hollerin' in the background; obviously they were all celebrating the happy news up in Watertown.

'Well, we better go' Hope said. 'They're waiting on us for dessert. Dad, tell Uncle Peter we'll be back at the gallery on Thursday morning.'

'Will do!' Neal replied. 'Take care you two.'

'Bye Daddy, bye Mom. Love you.'

'We love you too, sweetie!'

The line went dead and the couple sat up in bed, staring at each other for a moment as they let the news sink in. Although it had been a long engagement, it was about to come to an end. Soon their little girl would be getting married, she'd become someone's wife and live in her own home, away from them. She would likely have children of her own at some point down the line and the circle of life would continue whether they were ready for it or not.

Sara made some weird throaty sound and Neal looked over, watching as her eyes filled with tears.

'Awww babe, don't cry' he said, wrapping his arms around her. 'She's happy.'

'So am I' Sara said blubbering.

Neal smiled and drew her in tighter. He knew exactly how she felt; that bittersweet feeling as the most precious person in your universe took on a life of her own, completely separate from you, no longer requiring your stewardship in order to face the ups and downs of everyday life. It was time to set her free and let her live life as she chose. Their job as parents was coming to an end - at least as far as they'd always known it. Liam and Hope, and Caitlin for that matter, would forever be a part of their lives and both Neal and Sara would always be there for them but it was time to let them fly with their own wings and let them make the choices they saw fit. Their role was now relegated to cheering them on, being their safety net, offering advice when asked and just sitting back proudly and watching them live their best lives; the lives they were destined to live.

'It's okay sweetheart' he murmured, feeling his throat tighten.

She pulled away and looked at him, sniffling. 'We have a wedding to plan' she said, reverting to type.

He laughed. 'We do. Whatever she and Cam want… it's fine with me.'

'I wasn't expecting it to be a church wedding but I guess it makes sense. That's obviously important to Cam's family.'

Neal nodded. 'I can't remember the last time I was in a church.'

'June's funeral?'

'Maybe.'

'It'll be a happy occasion this time.'

'Yup' he agreed. 'Really happy.'

Sara slipped down into the bed, their spanking brand new bed.

'Mmmmm. This is super comfy, isn't it?'

Neal gently bounced up and down. Frankly, he found it a little too firm for his taste but he wasn't about to admit it.

Ever.

'Yeah' he fibbed. 'Really nice.'

'So…' she said, curling up against her husband. 'What is it you were holding back when Liam asked about Linda?'

Neal thought he'd been pretty good about obfuscating the truth; apparently not where his wife was concerned. He lay there, drawing imaginary circles on her shoulder and arm. She felt his body tense.

'She signed a DNR.'

'Really?' Sara thought about the consequences. 'Wow… if she'd had one in place when she went into the hospital before Christmas, they wouldn't have treated her and she'd be gone.'

'Tell me about it.'

Truth was, it was the head nurse of Blue Skies who had intercepted Neal on his way out and informed him that his mom had signed the legal document, stating that should her heart give out, she did not want to be resuscitated. Furthermore, she had informed the staff at the nursing home that from now on, she would be refusing any treatment or medication which had the sole purpose of prolonging her life.

Sara perched herself up on her elbow so she could look into her husband's eyes.

'Are you okay with that?' she asked.

He shook his head and shrugged. 'Not really but… it's her life and I have to respect her wishes. It's like… she's going through the motions, trying to put a brave face on things. Sometimes I get the feeling she's just holding on for us… for me… for Caitlin.'

'That's not good' she said, letting herself fall against him.

Neal let out a loud mournful sigh. 'Maybe she's waiting for us to tell her that we'll be all right once she's gone.'

'Oh, honey I'm sorry. I know this can't be easy.'

'I'm going to have to work up the courage to talk to her about it. And we have to prepare Caitlin for what's coming. It's going to be really hard on her.'

Leave it to Neal to be considerate of his foster daughter's feelings when he, himself, was being forced to face the imminent loss of his mother. Lately, as he watched Linda struggle just to breathe, he'd begun to sense that she was fighting to stay around for his sake, for her grandchildren's sake. At this late stage, all Neal wanted was for her to leave this earth peacefully, serenely and that meant having the grace and the courage to let her go.

'Have I thanked you lately?' he asked out of the blue.

'Thanked me? For what?'

'For sneaking off and going to St. Louis to find my mom, and for dragging my sorry ass down there.'

Sara scoffed. 'You weren't thanking me at the time' she reminded him.

That was true enough. Neal had been furious when he'd found out his wife had gone behind his back on a search for his mom. It had taken weeks and plenty of coaxing on Sara's part for him to finally agree to meet her and that first meeting had been rocky at best. He was grateful for the last few years, getting to know the woman who'd given birth to him after having been separated from her for almost forty years.

'Well… I've learned that I should trust you more' he said wistfully. 'I know now that you only wanted what was best for me. And you were right.'

He brought his lips to rest on the top of her head, leaving them there as he inhaled the scent of her shampoo.

'Oh God!' Sara exclaimed as an idea occurred to her. 'You realize what this means, don't you? El's going to want to plan this wedding.'

Neal chuckled. 'I'm not touching that one with a ten-foot pole. And if you're smart, neither will you. Hope can decide for herself what she wants.'

'You're right. A wedding…' she sighed dreamily. 'Next thing you know, there'll be babies…'

'Babies! Babe, what are you talking about? Who said anything about babies.'

'I don't know. I think we underestimate just how hard it was for Hope to have to leave Carnegie Mellon. I always get the sense that she's looking for something to fill that void.'

'Oh, so not only do you want to plan her wedding, you want to plan the rest of her life.'

'Stop it! I'm just telling you what I think.'

'Honey, Hope has a full life with the gallery, the classes she teaches, her friends, her life with Cam. Why are you in a hurry for her to have kids. She's young, she's got her whole life ahead of her.'

He sighed deeply. 'Time will tell' he finally conceded.

She looked up at him with a naughty grin. 'I'm just sayin'… grandpa.'

Neal moved with lightning speed, flipping Sara onto her back and tickling her mercilessly as she giggled loudly, trying in vain to push him away as he held her down.

'Who you callin' grandpa… grandma?' he said with a chuckle of his own.

He looked into her eyes, her gorgeous green eyes shining in the warm glow of the bedside lamp - just as they'd shone in that horrible dream he'd had the previous night. He leaned down to kiss her, feeling the desire rising in him. Although tempted, he wasn't quite prepared to give in to his urges just yet. Instead, he watched her laugh, feeling his heart fill with joy.

She had that amazing look in her eyes and Randall Piper was nowhere in sight.

She was all his. His wife, his lover, his best friend. And he couldn't quite believe his luck.

'You're beautiful' he whispered.

TBC