a/n: who's the biggest BRITCH of them all my funny little tasting Clementine! XD!! Yeh…You know who you are! LOL!!

So this is the final chapter - only the eppy to come after this! Yes I'm sad too!! xx

Chapter 36

EPOV

"Edward!" I heard her voice call out for me, only it didn't sound like her, not really.

My head snapped up from my phone with her name written across the screen but her voice came from the front door.

Alice and Jasper's heads had snapped up towards my bedroom door too.

"Edward!" She cried out louder this time. Something in her voice cutting through me. I panicked.

Jumping up form the bed I ran past Alice and Jasper and out of my room.

She was there, right in front of me and she looked devastated. I wrapped my arms around her tight, pulling her into me, letting her know she was ok.

Alice and Jasper stood behind me, no doubt surprised at what they seen.

"We'll give you some time." Alice mumbled behind me as she and Jasper shifted past and into there own room.

I kissed the top of Bella's head as she let the tears escape.

She was silent but they flowed out of her, her breath only slightly laboured in the panic that seemed to be inside her.

I pulled her through, into our room and on to our bed. I continued to hold on tight. She still wore her jacket and shoes but she didn't seem to care.

"Bella…" I tried carefully and her grip on my top got tighter.

"Are you ok?" I asked and she nodded softly into my chest.

She seemed so weak and frail in my arms and I had no clue what had made her crumble like she had. She was always so strong and so determined.

I pulled away form her, trying to see her face aging. It was tear streaked and her eyes were red and sore.

"What happened?" I asked with my voice more worried than I wanted to show.

"Us." Her eyes fell to her lap and my stomach churned. "It-it's affected everyone. Charlie. Billy refuses to speak to him." She sobbed out again.

"What do you mean?" I knew what she said but why was it our fault.

I cupped at her face, bringing her eyes up to meet mine.

"Billy. He thinks this is Charlie's fault. He thinks he should have been …been more – I don't know, he thinks Charlie let me away with what I did, he thinks I need to be told off like a child. He didn't like how he let me go back home to you after I followed Jake back. He thinks I should have stayed and tried to apologise more."

"But you said he didn't want to see you." I tried to let her see he was being unreasonable.

"I know, I know what he said. But Billy didn't like it and now he is taking it out against Charlie. Jake won't see him and Billy is pushing him away." She cried into my chest again rolling forward against me.

"It's all my fault. All of it. I killed Charlie's family and now he only has me and I'm here in Seattle."

"Bella, this is not your fault." I tried to sooth her. Why was this happening to her?

"Jake was in the house when I got home and he told me, he was dropping something off, trying to avoid seeing Charlie. When I asked Charlie about it he tried to wave it off but I went up to LaPush to speak to Billy. He hates me. He thinks I'm some slut that screwed his son over. He practically told me it like that."

I felt anger bubble below the surface but I knew it wouldn't help Bella anymore if I lashed out. I had to try to keep control.

Her tears were still quiet but her body trembled with all the pain she was harbouring.

"It wasn't just you Bella, It was me too. Don't blame yourself." I tried. I felt lost on how to deal with her; she had always been the strong one. She had shed tears before but nothing like this. Her heart was breaking for her past.

"This is not your fault Edward, its mine-"

"No!" I interrupted her "We both did this, it isn't one or the others fault, we both did this." I was firm, it wasn't all her fault, I wouldn't have her put this all on her. I had been the one to make the first move. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine.

"He was just so angry. I thought he was mad when I left that day but he was like another person today. Charlie said he will calm down and things will go back to normal but I just can't see it…ever. Jake said he just needs more time but I don't know about Billy."

Her breathing was becoming more erratic and she was warming up. I peeled her jacket off of her and I don't think she even noticed me do it. I reached down pulling her trainers off her feet too and pulled her up onto my chest as we lay out on the bed.

"How is Charlie?" I treaded. She was suffering but she had also left him.

She shook her head against my chest as she thought. "Sue. Sue had followed us back home. She told me to calm down, not to get too carried away. My dad won't let people see it's affecting him, he told me to come back here." She fired her words out quickly and it was hard to keep up.

"Who is Sue?" I asked carefully.

"She's an old friend." She shrugged. "She will look after him, she said they had words at the time and that Charlie is still trying to hold onto there friendship and has been trying to see Jake."

I didn't like the thought of Charlie still wanting to see Jake. I assumed that he was in the past but he had obviously still a very strong bond with the guy. Bella did always speak of them as family. That shouldn't change.

"It's not fair. This isn't Charlie's fault. Why is he being blamed?" She sobbed out.

"I don't know but maybe Jake's right." God, did I just say that? "Maybe they just need some time to let things settle. Like you and Alice." I hoped after today she could see brighter days between the two old friends.

"But how could he be like that, how?" I had no idea.

I combed my fingers through the back of her hair trying to relax her. It was late and she had just driven all the way back from an obviously very heated argument. I was a little pissed to say the least that Charlie had sent her home when she was like this.

"Why did you come back so soon? Didn't you want to stay?" I wasn't going to let her drive back to Forks if guilt did decide to consume her but I needed her to think about it, if she really wanted to return home I would drive her.

"He told me I should go to you. He thinks you would have been best for me." I didn't know how to take that. Was Charlie really that accepting of me so soon or was it because he thought it would be what Bella needed?

I guessed he seen just how upset she was and now it was no longer Jake she went running to, he probably seen I was the best option to calm her. I felt happy that he had seen me like that, that he thought I was worthy of looking after her when she was as up set.

We lay on the bed just taking in the night in silence.

I was cursing myself for thinking anything else of Bella now. I knew she wouldn't have done anything to hurt me but I had let my mind get the better of me and I hated myself for letting her down.

She looked like a little china doll in my arms, so breakable and I finally seen what she did for me, she was my Constantine in this hard life and now I needed to step up and be hers as well.

I swiped gently at the hair that had fallen into her face as she slept. She was exhausted, her body was spent with all the tears she could manage last night and right now she deserved to sleep forever if she wished.

I kissed her nose gently before I got out of bed and pulled on my joggers and padded into the kitchen where Alice was making breakfast with Jasper.

"Morning." Alice greeted me with a tight worried smile. Jasper nodded.

"Morning." I told them back as I pulled out the fresh orange from the fridge.

Alice nervously twitched around on her tip toes as she looked across at me pouring my juice. "You can ask me you know?" I told her knowing exactly what she wanted to ask me.

"How is she?" she let out quickly, gasping.

"She's fine. Upset, but I think give a couple of days…" I shrugged.

"What happened? She was meant to come back on Sunday." She reminded me.

"Well let's just say Billy isn't quite as forgiving as you are. Even to Charlie."

"Charlie?" Jasper asked confused. "What has he got to do with it?"

"Apparently a lot. Billy didn't like how Charlie thought Bella and Jake should deal with it together, he wanted – well I don't know what he really wanted but I think he wanted Charlie to be a bit more firm with Bella over the whole thing and because he wasn't, there not talking anymore"

"That's crazy. I can understand him being mad but what does it have to do with Charlie." Alice spoke, her words surprising me after the way she had acted.

Jasper let out a small laugh. "This coming form her? My baby is growin' up." he was amused at Alice's change of heart as I was. He was also impressed at the way Bella stood up to her. He didn't like to see them fight.

"Shut up Jazz." She scolded him playfully with a light smack on his arm.

"So she's still sleeping. I'll let her rest. She will need it." I informed them as I began to drink down the juice.

"You want some breakfast?" Alice asked.

"No, I'm fine." I told her.

"Yes he will." Bella's voice called from behind me. Turning around she was stood in her pyjamas rubbing at her still slightly red eyes.

"I kept him up late, he needs it – and more sleep." She informed the other two firmly.

Walking up to me, we wrapped our arms around one another, me pulling her in tight to my side.

Jasper laughed a little before mumbling something about being whipped.

"Leave her; she is only looking out for him." Alice told him off again. "Would you like some, I'm making pancakes." Alice smiled at her and I could have passed out with shock.

"Yes, Please." Bella softly smiled back.

"Edward?" Alice checked again. Bella was right, I hadn't slept much and my late lunch and a bag of popcorn the day before wasn't the best diet. I knew I needed to fuel up more if I wanted to keep well. Bella would have known I would have eaten less without her chasing me and not being there. She always knew these things. It was part of the reason I loved her, at times though it could grate on my last damn nerve, she was usually right and a little sure of herself.

Her brown orbs looked up knowing she was right on this one. She knew I wouldn't have eaten much. "Yeh, Ok." I sighed and Bella smiled and relaxed back into me again.

Sitting down at the table we all dug into the pile of pancakes that Alice and Jasper had made up. And they were exactly what I needed.

"So Edward was telling us about Billy…" Alice was careful but I could have killed her for brining it up after she finally had a real smile on her face.

Her mouth dropped, thinking it over again.

"Alice!" I told her off.

"Sorry, I…I was only wanting to know how she was." She flustered.

"I'm fine, Alice, thanks. Edward, it's ok. Don't worry about it." I felt her hand on my knee reassuring me, soothing me.

"Billy just needs time. He can't turn his back on my dad like that. He can't." I could sense her getting worked up again. Trying to distract her I pulled her into me kissing her on her bare shoulder.

"Well you know we are here for you, all of us." Jasper told her, emphasising on the us.

Bella nodded, knowing.

"So any plans today?" I asked Alice and Jasper in the hope of having the apartment alone with Bella.

"We were going to go a drive." Jasper spoke at the same time as Alice informed us they were going shopping.

Bella looked up suspiciously towards them. "You don't have to leave because of me."

"Yes they do." I informed her without missing a beat. I wanted Bella all to myself and what better place than our apartment, alone.

"We're not. You could just use some space. Edward was so worried..." Alice told her.

Bella's face changed instantly realizing. "I never called, oh god, I never called." She pulled into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry." She must have mumbled it a dozen times as she kissed at my face.

"It's ok." I shrugged. "I mean, please don't do it again. I was worried, but I understand now."

Pulling away she dropped her head in shame "I'm so so sorry."

"Bella, stop. It's fine."

"No, I let you down." She argued.

"Bella…" I was firm with her. She needed to stop. She had been a mess last night. I was impressed she managed to drive back in the state she had worked herself into. I shouldn't be as dependant on her. She shouldn't feel like she did now because she made a tiny error. It wasn't fair that she berated herself because of who I was.

The apartment was empty and finally I was alone with Bella. She was currently trying to get hold of Charlie but some emergency had come up at the station and he was out at whatever was going on.

"I just need to see he's ok." She huffed down the phone. "Yeh I get that…Just tell him to call me when he can." She slammed her phone closed before making it bounce across the bed with her fiery temper.

I laughed a little at the pout on her face. She was looking like a spoilt brat.

"Don't laugh at me." her tone was serious and I couldn't help the laugh that came from me again.

"I'm sorry, you just need to relax, he's working just now. He will call you back later but this…" I pulled gently at her pouted bottom lip with my thumb. "…won't get you anywhere."

She pulled her bottom lip in with her teeth, biting down on it and I pulled at it again releasing it from its torcher.

"I know, I…I'm just..."

"Pissed off." I finished for her.

She looked up to me with a small smile beginning to form on her lips, we were still dressed in our pyjamas, hers showing off her soft delicate shoulders and collar bone.

"I say, I do my best to distract you…" reaching down I began to kiss along her soft skin of her shoulder, from the far end, moving along closer to her neck. I skimed past the material of her vest and trail kisses along her collar bone before I start for her neck. I held her close, my arms wrapped around her back.

"And how are you going to do that." she tried to pretend that this is having no effect on her but I knew better. Her tone was teasing but sure. Like she often seemed to be.

"I'll show you…" I whispered into her ear and I could feel a small tremble pass through her body as her back rests in my hands.

I gently bit on the lobe of her ear and heard her let out a needy sigh. It took all that's in me to stop from stripping her of all her bed clothes right now.

"Do you like that?" I teased in her ear again.

"Suppose is was nice." She shrugged so nonchalantly. Teasing bitch. I mentaly rolled my eyes at her act. She was playing games and I was more than willing to play dirty.

I pulled her up on to my knee, parting her legs to either side of me and let my own legs fold over the edge of the bed. She must surly have felt me needing her thought the thin material of both our pyjamas.

I held at her backside, puling her in closer to me and to make sure she didn't fall before I reached for the hem of her top and pulled it over her head, enjoying the view from her slightly raised seat on my knee. Looking up at her she smiled back down at me.

I took her rose budded nipple and felt her squirm on my lap, rubbing her centre further into me but I didn't think it was intentional. If she started this game she sure as hell was intent to win it.

I let my tongue taste her sweet flesh, teasing the sensitive tip with my teeth as she jolted further into me in responses.

Pulling away form her, her cheeks were pink, she was determined not to fold, her back rigid and straight.

"You liked that." I teased her knowing, her face turning scarlet.

She shook her head defiantly and I took her other nipple into my mouth giving it the same attention I did the other. This time I palmed at her breast, taking the soft but firm flesh and feeling her warm in my hand.

Her hips slid forward slightly, getting closer and I felt her hands go to the bottom of my own t-shirt and begun tugging at it.

Breaking away from her sweet chest, she pulled the shirt over my head, looking up she looked like some goddess waiting to be ravished, her cheeks pink, her chest heaving and her lips begging to be kissed, all that along with her bed hair and I don't think I could have been any harder.

I could make love to her forever.

I had to have her. Now.

I held on to her waist as I lifted her up to her feet and settled her on the floor.

She looked surprised that I was taking her away from me but I needed only a moment and then she wouldn't be able to get any closer.

I pulled at the material of her bottoms, the soft cotton dropping to the floor in a pool at her ankles. She kicked them away before standing in front of me in only her underwear.

I hooked my fingers and slid down the small black underwear down her legs before she kicked them away also.

Standing in front of me, she was completely naked. I had to have her soon. My body was in agony at the need for her, not the need for even release, but just to have her, be inside of her. Where no one else would ever get to go.

She stood nervously biting on her lip, her self-confidence beginning to diminish at her vulnerable state.

Standing up I held onto her waist and backed her up against the wall.

"Do you know how much I need you." I whispered into her ear as I took hold of her tiny delicate wrists and held them above her head.

She shook her head, her gaze at the floor. I pushed myself against her, my erection pressing against her stomach.

"Bella, look at me." I begged.

Her hooded eyes looked up at me and I had to bend down and take her lips in mine. I needed to feel her mouth against mine, for her to know exactly how much I needed her.

"I love you." I told her against her lips as we broke away our kiss.

"I love you." she smiled at me before a small chaste kiss was placed on my lips.

"I think we need to even up the score a little." She told me looking back down at my bottoms.

I was still half dressed.

"You want them gone, you have to take them off." I teased and her smile got wider.

She tugged on the material hard, taking my boxers along with them, falling to the floor in a heap of grey and navy blue.

My need for her very apparent now.

I took her two hands in my one and replacing them above her head once again, my other hand lightly tracing along the inside of her arm, down, down to her naked torso, over her breast and her navel. Finally my hand reached her centre, the pool of heat between her legs very apparent as I slid a finger along her folds, her body damp and ready for what we both needed.

I teased her more as I inserted a finger inside of her, her body shifting forward into my touch, trying to rub herself against me.

"Do you like that?" I teased one last time. Her hips bucked forward as I let my thumb trace against her clit. Her breath stumbling.

"Edward…" she pleaded and bit on her bottom lip again, her tone was needy and I knew exactly what she wanted but she started this game.

I smiled at her reaction. "Come on Bella, all you need to do is tell me; tell me its doing something for you."

Another stuttered breath as I pressed down inside her.

"Edward…." She gasped louder. Exactly the reason I wanted the apartment to be empty.

"Bella." I challenged her.

"Ok, ok, I need more, you know just how to touch me. Please…" she gasped as she tried to fight her hands out of my one.

I released her, lifting her up against the wall and holding on tight to her by the backs of her thighs as she pressed her back against the wall, her body silently calling out for what it wanted.

I teased her for a few moments with the tip of me, mumbles and cries coming from her before I entered her.

I was quick as I entered her and I pressed her delicate frame against the wall, trying to get all of me into her, filling her completely.

I kissed down on her lips hard, my tongue consuming her like how my bottom half was doing, both sliding in and out of one another. Desperate and wanton.

She gripped hard at my hair pulling my mouth into hers, we were both needing one another and Bella needed some release from the night before and a silent reminder of why we did what we did.

We fitted.

We fitted with our minds.

We fitted with our emotions.

We fitted with our bodies.

Right now all three were in overdrive and it was all Bella needed to see to see that what we did, as morally wrong as it was, it was completely right.

She had pulled me out of the depths of despair in my closed of world and I had pushed her to her limits with her emotions but we had both got through it, we both survived thought all the heartache and pain we constantly, but unintentionally inflicted upon one another.

I needed Bella. No one else. Last night showed me that I had to be there for her as much as she had been there for me. It wasn't fair to let her struggle on her own and also having to put up with me. I had so much more to grow but I knew the support I would receive from Bella and my family.

I would become the man she deserved. I had too. I knew what would come and what would happen but I needed to try and fight against it and to better myself in every other aspect in my life.

I needed her...

I couldn't live without her…

We were meant to be with one another…

No other person could come between us.

Not even first love.

As much as she may still have cared for him, it was me she picked.

Not, first love…

but, True love.

a/n; please review - Eppy is up next. give me lots of love and i wont hold it hostage for too long - it's written... hehe - I know, I'm mean. You know what to do.