Shinobi Academy! Chapter 36: (28) Ibikis Psycho Psychology Class, a naruto fanfic

hello! how have the past weeks been treating you? well, i hope! anyways,

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disclaimer: i really dont know why we have to keep adding these things. instead, we should only have to say it once at the beginning. the only other time we should have to say a disclaimer, is if we put something in the story that we are laying claim to (such as kill-me-now-orange, a purple unicorn, a blue cow, the uchihas family history, lasagna, sushi, kill-me-now-orange dragons, the murderous camping trip… things like that that we own.) and should be able to say at some point we do now own the telling of the story of how i was once able to do the thing with the thing. but anyways, we still do not own naruto. and since i am going to be killed by kelpie for this, and am getting weird looks from people, on with the story!

And if Pein's brain blew up, Deidara's must have spontaneously combusted at the moment when Sakura got Tobi to not kill him.

Naruto was in shock over what had just happened. He was confused by everything. Especially what Deidara had confessed to Sakura.

Sasuke still wanted to hang his head in shame. 'Why are we even related?' he thought. Tobi was just too confusing. Just thinking about it hurt his brain.

Gai had immediately lunged towards Lee to make sure his most treasured student was ok. Or alive for that matter.

Tobi started to whistle as he exited the gym, seemingly unaware of what he had done.

Everyone simply stared after him.

Sakura took the distractions as an excuse to escape the horrors of Gai's youthful gym class. She managed to sneak up to the roof. 'Oh. So thats where Karin went!' Sakura had noticed that Karin had fled from the gym only moments before Tobi's (almost) murdering spree.

Karin was standing there and seemed to be having a civil conversation with Watanabe Ami.

Sakura decided to mess with them a bit. She slammed the doors opened and yelled. "FIRST ONE TO KISS SASUKE WILL MARRY HIM!"

Karin and Ami seemingly disappeared into thin air. Moments later, she heard Sasuke's voice. "Hey Karin, have you seen-" he was then cut off.

Then, Karin's voice was heard. "YES! I GET TO MARRY SASUKE-KUN!" she shrieked.

She then heard someone running up the stairs, before Sasuke appeared and crashed into her. When he had caught his balance, he hid behind her, and whispered "Help me!"

Sakura smiled, before very loudly exclaiming "NO TOBI! I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE MEAN FIRE LADY IS. SORRY!" Karin screamed and ran away.

Sasuke silently thanked Kami for the small miracles in his life. Of course, he hoped he wasn't going crazy when he heard Peins voice say "You're welcome, my obedient follower!"

Sasuke paused for a second. "Sakura?" silence. "Yes, Duck butt?" "I'm going to ignore the nickname… Did you hear that voice?" he could almost cringe as he heard her laugh.

"I hear voices all the time! Since someone's usually talking, there will always be voices! Though, I hear voices even if I'm alone…" Sakura replied. 'Thanks for that inner…' Sakura thought dryly.

Inner smirked. 'No problem! Anything for my pal! Ol' buddy! How about BFF? Or maybe I could call you….' inner just kept rambling.

Sasuke deadpanned. "So… Does that mean you're schizophrenic?"

Sakura smiled. "Maybe. Who knows?" Her inner grimaced. 'Ouch. Demote the imaginary person/ voice in your head much?'

Sasuke rephrased his original question. "Ok. Did you just hear PEIN'S voice?"

Sakura smiled cutely. "Yes. Why?" she said.

Sasuke frantically looked all over, in a desperate attempt to find Pein.

He was no where in sight.

He ran to the edge of the roof.

He still saw nothing.

He then freaked, and turned to Sakura. He grabbed her arms, and pulled her close. "WHERE IS HE?" he all but yelled.

Sakura got a thoughtful look in her eyes. "My Pein senses are tingling. He must be close." the thoughtfulness turned into determination.

Sasuke then realized how close they were.

-Insert awkward silence here-

LETS SEE WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE ROOF WITH OUR AWESOME (MAYBE NOT) ROOF SCENES! I THINK THEY ACTUALLY SERVE TO PISS OFF OUR READERS MORE THAN ANYTHING! (Wait a minute.. Aren't they on the roof? Oh well! - Kelpie)

You will soon understand Kisame's halloween costume (he went as a goldfish with a name tag that said 'Uncle Fernando. Remember? shame on all of Cait123123caits senpais and kouhais. shame on you. ME HAD TOO! SRRY! PLEASE DO NOT KILL CAIT123123CAIT! SHE IS A GOOD GIRL! Ok. My brother dared me to do that. Don't give me those looks! Be nice!)

Suigetsu sobbed into Kisame's arm. "Uncle Fernando had a good run!" he sobbed some more.

Kisame held a goldfish bowl in his hands. Inside it, was the dead Uncle Fernando. "G-good bye!" he then dumped the dead fish over the side of the roof.

A random passer byer got a dead fish and dead fish water all over them. They screamed and ran away.

Suigetsu crumbled to the ground. "NO! UNCLE!" he cried.

(yes. they are blood related to a goldfish. no joke. well, it is a joke, but in our story very real)

BACK TO SASUSAKU! THEY DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THE FISH! YET!

Both the teens stared awkwardly at the two sobbing fish men, who have not noticed the two of them standing there, despite the screaming.

As soon as they looked back at each other, they had to restrain themselves from laughing.

It got to a point, where it was all she could do to not start rolling around on the ground (mostly because she didn't want to roll right off the edge of the roof… again) as she clung to sasuke's arm with a death grip.

he might have started to lose feeling in his arm. but we will never know.

Interrupting their 'See Who Can Hold In Their Maniacal Laughing The Longest' contest, was the bell signalling the next class.

Sasuke thought over his schedule for a second, before paling. 'Crap! I have psychology next!' was his panicked thought. "Sensei's gonna kill me if I'm late!'

Sakura quickly caught on to his distress. "I have psychology next." Sakura exclaimed.

5 minutes later, Sasuke was sitting at his desk.

Ibiki yelled. "WHERE ARE THEY!?" he yelled.

Suddenly the door opened. He was about to scream, when he saw pink hair. "Sakura-chan!" he exclaimed in a voice that everyone thought at first didn't belong to him, before he wrapped the girl in a bear hug.

"UNCLE IBIKI!" she exclaimed. Suddenly, they had a Gai/ Lee moment.

A sunset background appeared.

"Uncle Ibiki!"

"Sakura-chan!"

Lee jumped up and joined in. "SAKURA-SAN!" he exclaimed. He then tried to hug the girl.

Ibiki shoved him.

Hard.

Out the open window of the third floor psychology room.

"Stay out of our family embrace." Ibiki snarled.

Lee began to cry, as he sat in a corner. He had climbed back in through the window, merely seconds after falling out the window.

And what a gloomy corner it was.

It was also dark.

And UNyouthful.

So the 'ever youthful' Lee, was sitting in a dark, gloomy and unyouthful corner. Huh. The irony in that statement… It's overwhelming. He also had a gloomy aura surrounding his shaking form. "Why is it that only Gai-sensei accepts me?" he sniffled.

Suddenly, the door was thrown open again. "Morning, Morino-sensei! I have something for Sasu-chan!" Shisui called.

He then noticed Sakura. "Ah! Good morning, Sakura-chan. And how are you on this beautiful morning?" He asked.

Sakura looked at the clock. It read 1:00 in the afternoon.

The class all looked outside. It was currently in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Sakura smiled. Before she could say anything, Sasuke stood up. "What is it, Shisui?" he asked.

Shisui held up a movie. "Mikoto-okaa-san asked me to bring you this." he stated, as he held up a bunch of Unicorn Friends movies. There was also a pink unicorn stuffie.

Sasuke squealed in delight.

The class was all dumbfounded.

Ibiki started crying. "My most promised student! He broke! NOOOOOO!"

Tobi was still upset about the fact that Lee touched his Cherry-chan.

Tobis dark-ish aura seemed to turn slightly murderous, because Lee had tried to touch HIS Cherry-chan so familiarly! Of course, the students who had witnessed his outburst, in the other class, whimpered softly. They all remembered the beating he gave out. (Cept for me. I don't remember the beating he gave out. I will have to re-read part of dis story. -Cait123123cait.)

After (finally) ending her hug with her eccentric uncle and psychology teacher, Sakura swiftly plopped down into the now-empty seat next to Tobi, due to the fact that his terrifying aura, terrified the people of the classroom to the point of leaving that general area.

Turning to him, Sakura smiled. "Lo-lli-pop!" she sang.

The pressing aura finally vanished as Tobi returned to his normal, bubbly personality. "CHERRY-CHAN! TOBI IS SUCH A GOOD BOY! TOBI SAVED CHERRY-CHAN A SEAT!" he nodded vigorously, before standing up and declaring. "YES CHERRY-CHAN! AND TOBI WILL SAVE A SEAT FOR THE AMAZINGLY EPICALLY AWESOME SHY-CHAN TOO!" happy with his outburst, he nodded once and sat back down.

Naruto whined pitifully. "But what if I want to sit with Hina-chan?"

Somewhere else in the school, Hinata blushed and fainted. Her Naruto senses had been tingling.

Tobi turned to him. "Naah! Shy-chan HAS to sit with Tobi. Tobi is a good boy!" with that, he stuck his tongue out and returned to facing the front of the room.

Ibiki actually sweat dropped at the scene. His niece must be rubbing off on him. Or hell just froze over. Either way…

He then began the lesson. "Oi! Aka!" his voice boomed. "You STILL owe me that project on the study of human behaviours. (from chapter 7) and since you're late in submitting it to me, like 6 months, 3 weeks, 6 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and -he looked at the clock- 59 seconds late, you must also give me a detailed report on people's behaviors when under pressure. Maybe yours. And I mean detailed. Aka. Not 3 lousy sentences. If you can count 'He smiled. He laughed. Tears.' as 3 sentences. I mean, 100 pages, or 17000 words, or a novel the size of War And Peace detailed. Aka." Ibiki stated.

Lee chose now, to speak. "The wonderfully youthful Ibiki-sensei! I youthfully have youthfully completed my youthfully youthful homework! Here you youthfully go!"

Hidan merely glared. "There were fucking periods. That means they are fucking sentences. DAMNIT! BLOOD BLOSSOM! HELP!" he pleaded.

Ibiki gave him a glare that reeked of a death sentence. Hidan gulped. "Yes, s-se-se-sens-sensei." he grounded out. He then stared out the window, choosing to ignore the lesson. 'Crap! I fucking haven't even fucking started my god damned project! I fucking guess I had damned better lay off the fucking god damned video games for a bit. But you fucking know, they are fucking educational. They damned well teach me what to god damned do during a freaking zombie apocalypse, and if the fucking wimpy ass planet shall ever be invaded by damned aliens, and I would even fucking save Blood Blossom! So fuck no. I cannot lay off the pein damned video games and put my precious Blood Blossom at risk. NEVER!' he thought, a determined glint in his eyes.

He then succumbed himself to his fate of listening to the torture of lectures.

By the end of Ibiki's class, everyone was in different moods.

Naruto was pouting, Lee was still sulking, Tobi was as cheery as ever, Hidan was determined to win every one of his video games, so he could save his Blood Blossom from any dangers that may invade the earth, and Sakura was overjoyed to know that her favorite uncle of all time worked at her school. (She has been there for how long, and she is just realizing NOW that he works there? Wouldn't it have come up over dinner or something, like "Oh ya! And Sakura, your Uncle Ibiki got a job at your school!" It would have at my house!)

And, above all, no one knew how Ibiki Morino, who was scary and mean, was related to Sakura Haruno, who's always do bright and cheerful.

Then they remembered her ability to manipulate people, and her frightening survival skills, and realized it wasn't all that weird.

Certain classmates that shall remain un-named, **cough some parts of Akatsuki cough** were mentally freaking out.

Approximately a couple hours or so later… School was let out!

After school, Ibiki decided he would mark Lee's homework to get it out of the way. His report went as follows.

"My youthful name, is youthfully Rock Lee. My youthfully favorite youthful teacher, is youthfully the youthful Gai-sensei. Gai-sensei youthfully is my youthfully favorite youthful teacher, youthfully because he youthfully runs a youthfully youthful gym class of youth! He youthfully teaches us youthfully about the youthful flames of youth. In his youthfully youthful gym class of youth, we youthfully do youthful activities of youth, such as the youthful basketball of youth, the youthful hockey of youth, we youthfully run youthful laps, and we youthfully do other youthful activities of youth.

:-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful :-I youthful :) youthful :) youthful :) youthful

My youthfully favorite youthful person, would youthfully be the youthful Sakura-san. The youthful Sakura-san is youthfully my youthful favorite person, youthfully because her youthful hair, is youthfully pink, and her youthful eyes are youthfully green. Sakura-san youthfully is my youthful most youthful favorite youthful person, youthfully because of her youthfully overwhelming youth. Her youthfully overwhelming youth is youthfully youthful! YOUTHFULLY ALL YOUTHFULLY HAIL THE YOUTHFUL POWERS OF YOUTHFUL YOUTH!

I youthfully am youthfully youthful, youthfully because the youthful power of youthful youth youthfully surrounds me!

Ibiki-sensei I youthfully finished my youthful homework youthfully on youthful time. I youthfully finished this youthful homework, youthfully before the unyouthful Hidan-san. I youthfully finished youthfully before the unyouthful Hidan-san, so I youthfully can prove my youthful youth to sakura-san.

I youthfully thank the youthful you for youthfully taking the youthful time to youthfully read my youthful homework. May the youthful power of youth youth-a-fy you."

Ibiki groaned.

Sakura quickly did her job, and stepped into the evil clutches of her house. "Welcome back! What do you want for dinner sweetie?"

Sakura sighed. "Do you want the answer you want to hear, or the truth?" she asked.

Sakura's mother pondered on this a bit. "The truth of course!"

Sakura took a breath and sighed, before saying in perfect monotone, "Takeout. I want take out tonight." she said it in such monotone, that the Uchihas would have been proud.

SOMEWHERE IN THE UCHIHA COMPOUND!

Sasuke, Itachi and Fugaku were somewhere in a random no-name uchiha relatives house for dinner. Mikoto was there too, as was Shisui. The 4 males all felt the need to praise Sakura for something… They didn't know what. But knowing her, she would probably tell them tomorrow.

BACK AT THE HARUNO RESIDENCE!

Sakuras mother laughed. "Dear! You have such a good sense of humour! But seriously. What do you want for dinner?" Mebuki asked.

Sakura sighed. "Tacos." she said.

'Maybe we should move out?' inner Sakura asked.

'Ya. With what money?' outer Sakura responded.

'With Itachi! He is our fiancee!' (FYI: People still have not given up on that. Oh well! It TOTALLY has nothing to do with the authors!) inner answered. She is now drooling buckets. Her 'inner underlings' as she calls them, had to keep bringing her bucket.

After bucket.

Poor inner underlings! Outer Sakura pities them! Or at least we will make outer Sakura pity them!

'I dont even know why I put up with you!' outer Sakura thought. 'You big pervert.'

'Now now' inner Sakura chided. 'You're saying this like im not a part of you. A part of you which you love with all your heart. A part of you in which all your trust lies. A part of you in which you tell all of your problems to. A part of you which you would follow blindly through all of our schemes and tricks. I mean plans and events. Yes. I meant to say, er… Think… Plans and events. I am also a part of you in which you confide with. A part-' inner stopped when she noticed outer Sakura conversing with one of her 'inner underlings' about all of her life problems. The life problems in which she was supposed to only be telling inner.

She stomped over, and tapped outer Sakura on the shoulder. 'Can I help you, Inner?' outer Sakura asked.

Inner glared. 'Ya. I'm a part of you. So you're a pervert too.'

'Am not!'

'Are too!'

'AM NOT!' outer Sakura raged.

'Suuuuure! Like you don't dream of a parade of smexy guys in your dreams….' inner said, suddenly remembering a particularly…. Juicy…. (EWWWWWW! GGGGGRRRROOOOOSSSSSSSSS!) Dream she had had a while a go. Or was it yesterday? Oh well!

'I DO NOT!' outer Sakura raged. Again.

'So what about last night? Where you were a princess, and pretty much all the guys we know (even the teachers. and seriously?) were like, our butlers or something...' Inner said.

For once, outer Sakura was silent. For about 2.61923543 seconds. She then realized something. 'THAT WAS YOUR DREAM! YOU SPENT 3 HOURS THIS MORNING TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THE LITTLE DETAILS!' she screamed.

hello! did you like it? and what of inners dream? huh… never would have thought. anyways, on with greater news, OUR STORY IS GOING AWESOME! ME AND KELPIE OR KELPIE AND I HOWEVER THAT GOES, HAVE NEW IDEAS!

AWESOME IDEAS!

IDEAS INVOLVING DEAD FISH!

AND NEW FOODS!

SO MANY AWESOME IDEAS, I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT!

ahem… if i tell you any more kelpie will kill me.

see you in a couple weeks!

(Yep. I am absolutely going to murder her. We ARE best friends after all. - Kelpie)

(too cruel kelpie. too cruel… T_T)