Healing Hearts
Rated; M for Mature
Pairing; HunterXAmy(HiccupXAstrid)
Author; Nightstar Fury
Disclaimer; I do not own anything HTTYD related-not the movies, shows, shorts, or series. I also don't own any of the songs that I may or may not use in the story. Everything belongs to its original artist or creator!
35; Won't Forget
{Hunter's POV}
I couldn't remember what had happened to me. I remembered cutting tomatos for the burgers and then waking up on the ground on my side with Toothless licking my face. My friend pulled me up so I could sit and refocus bit, and my Mom informed me that I had a seizure and asked that I tell her what was going on so she could help. I told her I was just tired and Toothless apparently wasn't going to let me lie my way out of telling them I was suffering from alcohol withdrawal. He gave me eyes that told me to tell them or he would, I told him to stop and he just went inside the house and brought out my discharge papers from the hospital, he gave them to Amy who then handed them my Mother. As soon as she saw the words written there, I knew I wasn't getting out of it anymore. She demanded I tell her about the alcohol poisioning, which then made everyone else aware.
"Hunter, explain this. Now." My mother demanded again.
"Don't worry about it," I said as I forced myself to my feet slowly, still wobbling a bit though.
"What do you mean don't worry about it! Hunter, this is dated a few weeks ago! When did this happen and why wasn't I aware of it!" Mom yelled at me.
"Oh my Gods, will you stop yelling at me. I said stop worrying about it. I drank a little too much and had to go to the hospital because of it, that's all." I told her.
"How did you get to the hospital if you were that wasted?" Randy asked.
"There's a switch that Toothless can hit to alert medical services if something happens to me and no one else is around..." I explained, Toothless started growling and barking at me.
"You're lying. What happened Hunter, tell me right now. This is serious," Mom asked me, pleading almost. Oh, I didn't need this right now.
"For the love of-Fine! It was the day I blacked out in school! You happy now?" I yelled.
"I don't understand...the doctor told us that you were just overworked..." Daniel said.
"He lied to you. I did pass out because I was overworked, but also because I had alcohol poisioning. That's what he told me before discharging me when you weren't in the room," I sighed.
"What's all this on the paper about doctor speaking to you about program options with his card attached for a support group? There's more to this and you're going to tell me, Hunter. Right now, please...What is going on that you're hiding from apparently everyone but Toothless..." Mom asked me.
"Well, sorry. I didn't think you'd handle hearing your son has maybe twenty years left to live if he doesn't give up smoking or drinking." I told her as I saw her eyes widen and she stumbled back a little, face turning to fear.
"Wh-what?! What do you mean twe-twenty years left to li-live!..." Mom began crying.
Knowing I wasn't getting out of this, I sat down on one of the chairs close by since I still felt dizzy. Toothless came came over but didn't look at me, I could tell he felt bad about ratting me out and I knew he was just trying to help. It was his job to keep me safe and he had been there when the doctor told me everything. "Toothless...come here bud. It's okay, I'm not mad at you..." Toothless whined a bit, "I know you wanted to help," after I said that, he came over and laid his head on my lap as I pet the top of his head a few times so he'd know it was okay.
"Hunter. You need to tell us about all this," Glenn told me.
"I know...Toothless has been trying to get me to tell you since it happened. I blacked out from exhaustion, overworking, and giving myself alcohol poisioning. I had school, then work, then I'd go home drink until about 2 am to get tired enough to sleep. I did that...every night because I just...can't sleep on my own. Nightmares or flashbacks prevent me from doing so and medicines only increased suicidal thoughts. Doctor told me that if I kept going the way that I was, I'd end up killing myself." I explained still petting Toothless.
"What else did he say?" Amy asked.
"I asked how bad the shape of my body was, he told me horrible. He said in honesty, I fall into the category of a dependent alcoholic because I can't sleep without it or drink when I stress out. He mentioned my history with drugs and the fact I still smoke, that all of it has had a severe impact on my life span. Over the two years alone, I've developed high blood pressure which puts me at risks for strokes and heart attacks. Drinking and smoking is putting me closer to liver and lung cancer. He said kid my age should have the lifespan of ninety and the way I was going would have me in the grave by late thirties, early forties." I looked down.
"Why wouldn't you tell me or anyone about this. Hunter, this is serious! This is your life! And for the love of God, you've still been drinking and smoking since that day. Do you not care!?" Mom asked me.
"I do care, why do think I've been trying to stop! Ever since that day, I've tried...and by day two of the withdrawal symptoms...I gave up and drank or smoke to keep them away. I kept...telling myself I didn't have a problem and could stop whenever I wanted to. The doctor told me that if I quit both...I could regain back some years, he wasn't sure how many until I stopped completely. He told me not to do it cold turkey and not alone. He runs a support group twice a week and told me if I needed to control the withdrawal to drink a beer or two. After that he discharged me." I told them.
"Why didn't you tell anyone! We could have helped!" Amy yelled. "Oh my Gods, this is what you were talking about when you coming down that night in the gym...when you said you wondered how many years this stunt shaved off your life. None of us knew what it meant...and now we do. It was because of how much you took that day, how much more damage it did..." she added with wide, worried eyes.
"That's why you were so sick at school, wasn't it? When there was seven days left of school, you said you didn't feel good and hadn't smoked because it made it worse. You were trying to quit and the sickness and everything was you withdrawing?" Roxanne asked. I nodded to her.
"And when you were throwing up at school and we found out you were drinking alcohol on school ground, you were trying to keep the withdrawal down?" Timothy asked, I nodded again.
"You were drinking at school?!" My mother screeched.
"Yeah, it was after that I told myself I had a problem...and then all that sh-I mean crap happened with Xavier, the drugs and drinking..." Hunter corrected himself so he wouldn't cuss in front of Belle.
"So...let me ask you this, during your withdrawal all last week...you've been drinking and smoking, haven't you?" Eric asked.
"Yeah. Tuesday before work, I had a beer. Wednesday two beers, cigarette, three shots of Soco, one of Fireball. Passed out before Mom got hom and she didn't think anything of it assuming I was tired from the drug withdrawal. By Friday, drug cravings and withdrawals were gone. Kept telling myself it was amazing I survived drug withdrawals but not alcohol and cigarettes." I closed my eyes now.
"So the seizure...it's because of the alcohol withdrawal, isn't it?" Heather asked, I nodded.
"Why didn't you tell us, Hunter?...Do you know how dangerous quitting cold turkey is when you're a dependent alcoholic? It's fatal..." My mother cried a bit.
"Seizures fall under the severe withdrawal symptoms, so can fever, hallucinations, confusion, and adgitation. On top of any of the others ranging from but not limited to anxiety, insomnia, nausea, abdominal pain, vomiting, loss of appetite, fatigue, tremors, depression, mood swings, heart palpitations, increased blood pressure, increased body temperature and breathing, irregular heart rate, sweating, irritability...the list goes on. I know how dangerous is is, I did my research. I kept telling myself I didn't have a problem until I started drinking at school, and trying to quit after that was miserable." I said.
"Why'd you try to go cold turkey if you knew how dangerous it was?" Sonny asked.
"Because I thought I could beat it, just like everything else. And the reason I...didn't stop was because I was afraid to die if it went badly and I didn't want to tell anyone so they wouldn't worry about me. That's all...anyone has done, just worry about me and I wanted to be able to do something by myself for once..." I looked down now.
"We thought you had given up alcohol already, that you suffered those withdrawals with the drug ones..." Amy said lightly.
"No...the only reason the drug ones weren't bad were because I had to alcohol and cigarettes to control it," I kept my eyes closed, I could feel my mother's disappointed stare on me that she thought I was doing so well and I'd been lying to her, drinking behind her back for a week. I felt all their eyes on me and I hated it.
"Hunter. You are my son and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I've always been on your side, especially the last three years since your father forced you into the military. I divorced him, I took sole custody of you, and I can't even remember how many nights I'd wait up for you to get home after you were expelled from Archi Academy. That I'd hear Toothless barking outside and I'd find out passed out and all drugged up right here on this porch. I don't know how many times I sat with you in the bathroom when you threw up everything but your memories. I've held you when you cried, I sat through every seizure, and kept you alive because I love you." Mom says softly, as I sighed.
"I'm sorry, Mom...I just..." I started as she cupped my cheek and smiled a bit stroking my hair.
"Ssh now. I'm not mad at you. What I'm saying is, you should not have been afraid to come to me if you had a problem you couldn't handle alone. You've always known you can come to me and I will do all I can to help you. I know you wanted to do it alone, but there are some things that you can't and you need others. Trying to give up smoking and drinking alone, could kill you and I don't know what I'd do if I woke up one morning and found you dead." My mother says as I opened my eyes and saw her kneeling in front of me.
"I know I have a problem, mainly with drinking. I can stop smoking without a problem, the only reason I still do it was because it control the urge to drink for a while..." I said as the shaking was starting to come back. My mother put her hands on mine.
"Do you want to quit drinking and smoking? Do you honestly want to?" she asks. I nodded to her.
"When's the last drink you had?" Mom asks gently.
"Thursday morning around 2 am. It's been thirty-eight hours without a drink, because I promised myself I'd quit drinking and smoking after graduation..." I sighed.
"If you're serious about quitting, I'll help you. But promise me, you won't ever hide anything from me anymore. I mean it, Hunter. No more secrets. This is your life you were playing with, and I don't want to lose my only son." Mom said gently.
"I promise..." I answered.
"Good," she kissed my forehead lightly and smiled. "Then you should be okay in a week or so, you're not quitting cold turkey. Are you okay right now?"
"Aside from the shaking, severe nausea, sweating, and headaches...yeah, I'm okay." I replied.
"Wait here and do not get out of that chair. I don't want you having another seizure..." Mom said as she got up and went inside the house.
"Unka, why you still think you alone?" Belle asked.
"Because Unka is a stubborn dummy," I replied.
"Well, you not alone so stop acting stupid. You got all of us, and me too." Belle told him as she got out of her father's arms and climbed in his lap slowly, then hugged him. "I don't wanna lose my Unka..." she whined a bit.
"Don't worry, Belle. He isn't going anywhere because we're gonna be watching him at all times to keep him out of trouble." Cassandra said.
"Seriously Hunter, you being told you have twenty years to live is not something you keep from us. Your friends," Eric mumbled. My mother returned with three beers and put two away in the outside fridge, then handed one to me as I looked at her confused.
"You want to keep the withdrawals down, you need alcohol in your body. It doesn't have to be a lot, three is your limit for today. You can have one now, and another if the symptoms start coming back. No drinking after midnight, we clear on that?" Mom stated. I nodded to her, "Your body doesn't know how to function without it, that's why cold turkey is is fatal to someone who drank as much as you did. The beer will control the withdrawal without affecting you greatly," she added. "I would have opened it for you but I can't find the bottle opener," she shrugged.
"I got it," I said as I pulled my key ring out from my pocket and got my bottle opener that read: Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
"Nice saying," Amy giggled a bit.
"I always found it to be true as with all things that should have killed me, never have. I'm a firm believer that they just don't want me in either place," I smiled a bit as I took a drink from the beer, then another small one before putting it down on the table behind me. Didn't take very long for the shaking to subside, still had everything else though. That likely wouldn't fade until after I finished the first one.
"Feel better, Unka?" Belle asked.
"I do now," I replied to her. She cheered and turned to hug me only her knee hit me hard in groin by accident as I cringed a bit.
"Belle, be careful with your uncle. His stomach is still bothering him," Daniel told her.
"I sowwy, Unka!" Belle said quickly.
"No...worries, I'm good..." I winced a bit.
"You don't look good?" Randy pointed out.
"You try getting kneed full force in the dick by a four-year-old and tell me if you're good..." I whispered harshly.
"She got you there? I thought she hit your stomach since you look like you're going to throw up..." Heather said softly.
"Yeah, might still do that so remove her..." I panted a bit with an arm over my stomach as Daniel grabbed her off my lap and I bent over a little trying to keep it down. Amy rubbed my back slightly, it helped a little. When the pain passed I sat leaned back and took a few deep breaths. "Alright...I'm good...I think. Still iffy," I said.
{Normal POV}
Hunter forced himself out of the chair to finish getting the food ready, although it didn't last when he ran in the house and threw up. "Don't worry, he'll be okay. It's the withdrawal still," Vivian explained calmly. "If he only drinks a little for the next few days, then he'll be able to stay away from alcohol permanantely. The cravings might still be there but he won't suffer the withdrawal, I give it two weeks and he should be off it completely."
"Really, just two weeks?" Travis asked.
"It doesn't take very long. He's been off drinking for thirty-six hours and suffering the worst of the withdrawal symptoms. The beers are light and don't contain a lot of alcohol, but will be enough to keep the withdrawal down so he doesn't have another seizure again. He'll likely still have the headaches, tiredness, and mood swings for a while and possibly being sick. Quitting after two years of drinking all the time has it's downsides, and these are just a few of them. Drinking the beer will trick his body into thinking he'll keep drinking, but the less he gets, the more his body will adjust to not having it. That takes about a week if he sticks to it. The craving to drink will continue for another week or so, because he knows it relaxes him if he gets stressed out and can't sleep. That will be the hardest, but he won't get the withdrawal symptoms. That'll just be something he fights the urge to do." Sam said.
"And what if he does drink again?" Vince asked.
"Well, a beer or two wouldn't hurt him. If he starts drinking hard again, he's back at square one with withdrawal symptoms. Once he recovers, if he stays away from it...eventually it'll just fade all together and he won't drink period. Some recovering alcoholics do resort to having a drink every now and then, and those are the ones that get worse again. The less you rely, the better you'll be." Glenn said.
"So really he just has to keep telling himself he doesn't need it and find something else to distract him so he won't drink again?" Amy asked.
"Basically. My worry is how his mental state will be when he doesn't have the alcohol to surpress his memories anymore," Vivian sighed a bit.
"What do you mean?" Axel asked.
"A reason he has Toothless is because of PTSD. From the tours he was on, the accident where he lost his leg. A lot of that comes back to him and it was mainly why he started drinking in the first place. To surpress it, without the alcohol...it's going to come back and I don't know how bad that will be. That will be something that makes him want to drink again and the sad thing is that it will always be there. We can't use meds because it made him want to kill himself," Vivian told them.
"Well, he's got us now. We won't let him fall to the darkness again," Daniel said firmly, the others nodding in agreement. Hunter returned outside and plopped down in the chair.
"Feel any better?" Amy asked.
"Little bit, kind'a hungry though." Hunter said, Amy smiled as she got him a burger and hotdog, dressed it up the way she knew he liked and handed it to him along with his beer.
"Then eat and drink a little so we can go back to having fun and celebrating the fact we're high school graduates!" Amy kissed his cheek.
"And Hunter..." Eric said as Hunter looked at him after taking a bite of the hot dog, "Don't ever forget that we're here for you always. Just like your Mom, anything you ever need...come to us. We're here if you need help, to hang out, or just talk. Don't gotta be scared to ask for help, everyone needs it every now and then."
"I'll remember that from now on. Thank you," Hunter said with a smile. After that, everyone got something to eat and sat around to relax and talk about where their lives were going next. Hunter actually felt pretty good, it did take an immense weight off his shoulders to have them know about his alcohol problem and were all willing to help him get through it. The biggest event of the day however, was still that he graduated high school with all A's and his record was expunged, parole was over. He could finally enjoy his life without anymore problems. Most of all, he knew his friends Amy, and mother were always going to be there for him and he wouldn't forget that again.