Being Dysfunctional Has Never Been So Much Fun
Short 36: Karmic retribution

Gaap, resident portal demon and the 33rd highest ranking earl (although, technically, shouldn't that have been 'countess'?) of the underworld, was bored. For people who knew Gaap, that statement was a warning; a sign that they should vacate the area and flee from Her Mischievousness as soon as possible. For people who didn't know Gaap, well…

Woe on them.

Cornelia was one such person who did not know Gaap. She was aware of Gaap's presence, in that she knew her personal possessions kept disappearing- but she did not know Gaap was the one who kept stealing them. Cornelia strongly suspected the 'Case of the Continuously Missing Socks' (though 'socks' was just one example; that noun could pretty much be substituted with any of Cornelia's other belongings) was not solely down to her own clumsiness, but she couldn't prove it. Sometimes, Cornelia was half-convinced she was going mad…

But that is a story for a different time.

Gaap enjoyed nothing more than playing jokes on clumsy people. This was because it was easy to fool said people into believing everything that went wrong was their own fault. Thus, when Gaap was bored, she naturally gravitated towards people like Cornelia, just for kicks. It was cruel, but… eh. Gaap was a demon; it was in her nature.

However, that one particular day, as Gaap opened up a portal in Cornelia's house to steal something else, she was met with an unfamiliar sight. Cornelia wasn't at the office, as she usually was when Gaap came to 'visit'. Instead, the young girl was fast asleep, buried under a pile of blankets and pillows. There was a bottle of empty cough medicine on the floor and a box of tissues. That, coupled with Cornelia's flushed face and slight sniffles, was enough for Gaap (with her amazing Miss Scarlet skills) to deduce that Cornelia was not feeling 100% okay.

The third class priest was sick.

How adorable!~

Gaap pondered, for a few seconds, whether she should steal any of Cornelia's possessions at all. It was a little unfair launching an attack on somebody who was ill…

But that brief notion of goodwill soon disappeared into the ether when Gaap laid her eyes on Cornelia's unguarded Eiserne Jungfrau uniform, folded up neatly on the floor.

"You have nobody to blame but yourself," said Virgilia, surveying Gaap over the top of her tea cup. "I can hardly believe you would stoop so low- stealing a young girl's clothes whilst she's ill and can't fight back."

"H-hey, t-that's a little harsh, Lia! I'm not a complete monster. It wasn't like I stripped her unconscious body or anything."

"No. You reserve that sort of treatment for me, don't you?"

"Hey, you're getting wayyy too touchy about this! That was only one time- and it was only for your shoes, and you really have yourself to blame because you're mean and- and- and…"

Here, Gaap paused. She could feel something build up in the back of her throat; a horrible, tickling sensation.

Then, roughly three seconds later-

"Achoo!"

She sneezed.

It was a loud, undignified sneeze; a sneeze of such power it made her blonde curls bounce.

It seemed, whilst Gaap had acquired Cornelia's Eiserne Jungfrau uniform, she had also added something else to her inventory. Something not quite so fabulous, which she didn't really want.

A cold.

Sniffling, Gaap reached forwards for the box of tissues on the table- only to find they were empty. H-hey, that wasn't fair-!

Meanwhile, a faint, graceful smile curved Virgilia's lips, as she watched Gaap sneeze and splutter.

"I suppose this is what they would call karmic retribution, isn't it, Gaap~"

"Oh, screw you."

"Karmic retribution, eh, Lia?"

"S-shut up…" the very sick, very fluey and very headache-y Virgilia muttered, rolling over in her bed and burying her flushed face against her pillow.

It seemed, even whilst running a temperature of 103 degrees, Gaap simply had to have the last laugh.