A random parody of the Walking Dead and the reality TV show 'The Real World.' This is purely for humor and enjoyment and not to be taken seriously.
I do not own the 'Walking Dead' or the 'Real World.'
The Sick Cells
The walking dead house, 3:32 pm. Andrea walks into the hallway as Rick lets out a sneeze right by her. "Dammit Rick, cover your nose when you do that." She rolled her eyes and walked off, while Rick released yet another sneeze. A woman with short hair peppered in black and gray appears outside the living room window, her hand tightly grips her hunting knife while watching the leader secretly through the curtain. She watches as he sneezes again then let out a string of coughs into his fist before dropping on the couch. The woman's head lowers out of sight just as Rick looks towards the slightly blowing curtains.
In the kitchen Andrea sneezes and sighs in annoyance, "that dam Rick" she mumbles under her breath then sneezes again just as Lori is passing by her. "Really Andrea you choose to come into the kitchen with your cold?" Lori reprimands with her usual uncivil tone when speaking to Andrea. "Honestly go find something to do around the house."
"I'll do your husband" Andrea whispers with spite.
"What?" Lori turns around not making out Andrea's last statement.
"Nothing, I'll get to that activity I'm thinking of." Andrea replies with a nastiness in her tone that goes unnoticed by Lori who literally ignores the blonde whenever she's not dictating chores to her. Andrea sneezes again leaving the room as Lori coughs a few times covering her mouth. Lori sighs angrily, unaware of a pair of eyes peaking in through the kitchen window at her.
The walking dead house, 6:32 pm. Merle is sneaking out of Andrea's bedroom which for only the day is occupied solely by the blonde since Michonne along with Abraham are away from the house. He's seen coughing up a storm as he walks down the hallway with watery eyes and a running nose. Glenn zooms in on him with the camera but Merle raises his hand shoving the camera aside, even Merle's to sick to say something distasteful in the moment.
A different camera catches a coughing Daryl. The redneck walks over Rick who's crawling on the ground, leaving a trail of seat and tears behind him as he groans, "Cooorrllll!"
The camera sways away from Rick and follows Daryl into the living room. Daryl stabs a hunting knife into the arm of the couch bringing himself up as his legs are limp and useless. He sneezes a few times and doesn't have the decency to wipe his nose before continuing to crawl onto the couch. As he turns over on his back with the groan of an 80 year old man, his eyes widen as he sees Carol standing over him with a knife. He shakes his head then screams.
In the hallway Rick hears footsteps behind him, "carrrrllllll...help me up. you gotta help me son! Carrrrllllll!" Rick screams as Carol crouches down beside him and Rick spots her knife. "HELPPPP!" Someone help!" Rick crawls dragging his elbows on the ground. He sees Merle in the distance and tries to scream but his throat's to dry. Carol then grabs his ankles dragging him away while his fingernails scrape along the hard surface of the floor.
Lori covers her mouth with her arm coughing hysterically. She flashes her head back and combs her hair up into a bun before noticing the kitchen window wide open. She leans forward as Carol appears right behind her. Slamming the windows shut a loud scream is heard from the kitchen as Merle recognizes the scream as Lori's. "Dam woman, shut the hell up in there, you know the kitchen's all echoy and beep." Merle grumpily stomps into the kitchen seeing no sigh of Lori. "That dam woman wanna play her games in the middle of the day like she aint got dishes to clean!"
Andrea comes into the kitchen sneezing as Merle is heavily coughing. Andrea sees Carol show up behind Merle.
"Merle...oh my god, Merle! Run! Merle Runnnn!"
"Shut da hell up Andrea can't you see I'm sick?" Merle is then struck over the head by a vase, that shatters around him as his body slams against the floor. Carol smiles at Andrea raising her hunting knife that appears to be covered in blood. Andrea screams at the top of her lungs and clumsily starts running through the house. Carol then drags Merle off.
Stumbling up the stairs Andrea is coughing and holding her queasy stomach. "Rick, Daryl...someone beeping help me!" She cries running through the upstairs hall seeing no one around but her. "Hellllppppp!" She scream as the camera zooms in on her terror. "Dammit Glenn, Carol is after me, find help."
"I'm not supposed to get involved."
"She's gonna kill me, are you allowed to watch a murder happen?"
"Maybe you should run."
"Glenn I need your help, come on!"
"Andreeeaaaa!" Carol says popping up behind her. Andrea shoves Glenn out of the way and jets down the hall. Rushing into her bedroom she slams the door shut as the overhead camera catches the panicked blonde. She braces by the door then suddenly an axe crashes through the wood door a mere inch away from Andrea's turned face. She stumbles off as the axe keeps hacking away. "Carol its just a cold! Why are you doing this?!"
Andrea can see Carol through the hole made in the door and watched the pepper haired woman stuff her menacingly deranged face between the wood splinters. "You're a threat to the group Andrea, I'm trying to save lives!"
Carl crawls out from under the bed as the door finally crashes open. "Carl come here!" A terrified Carl comes towards Andrea, thinking some motherly instincts have kicked in for the blonde, and he holds her tight as Carol is approaching the two. Andrea then shoves Carl towards Carol as the kid is screaming profanities at his betrayer. Andrea then opens her bedroom window and makes a jump for it just as Carol's knife swipes an inch out of range.
Groaning against the lifesaver that is Rick's failed garden, Andrea gets up and runs tripping over air. She groans weakly and covers her mouth muffling her coughs, then looks up seeing a car dropping Beth off at the front door, and Carol coming out to greet her. Andrea shivers in fear of being caught as she rushes out of sight. She hears Beth's terrified scream after the younger blonde released a few harmless coughs.
Outside the walking dead house, 8:59 pm. A terrified Andrea braces against the side of the house, sneezing in her hands out of Carol's line of vision. "Andrea I know you're out here...the two of us are friends, I just want to take care of you." Carol says as she's sharpening her knife and Andrea can hear the piercing sound the blade made as it was being sharpened. "I've got the entire house Andrea...don't you want to join them?"
Andrea runs off with a hard sneeze as Carol sighs and chases after her. Andrea is so busy looking behind her that its to late to stop herself from smashing face first into a door. As she falls to the floor Carol smiles standing over her.
The walking dead house, 4:02 am. Andrea is waking up in the living room. She holds her head seeing Daryl, Beth, Rick, Merle, Lori, and Carl wrapped up in warm blankets while sipping on bowls of steaming hot soup. She herself is wrapped up warmly as she sits up looking around the room. "What!? we're not all dead?"
"Naw turns out Carol's all caring and beep. We was getting too sick in the house so she's nursing us back to health." Daryl says smiling proudly at Carol who's entering the room making Andrea jump. "Here you go, a bottle of water and some pills to help you relax."
"I don't want anything from you, you chased me around the house like a beeping mass murder. I thought you were gonna kill me. Kill all of us!"
"Oh Andrea just shut the hell up..." Lori complains angrily as Merle chimes in with a wink he hides from Lori. "Yea, or I'll have to put something in there to hush yah up." Andrea rolls her eyes at Merle and takes the water and pills from Carol.
"If any of you need me I'll be outside." Carol leaves the house as a camera follows her. There are two cans of gasoline by the door, one can had already been emptied by the front door, the smell completely dulled by the sickness of the housemates, as Carol lights a match and looks into the camera it suddenly cuts away from her, due to the crew's loyalty to their own, they never film each others deeds, deadly or otherwise.
authors note: How horrible would it be if this was the final chapter? lol