Chapter Thirty-Seven

"Come on dude, I'm exhausted, and Tyra Banks says the most important item in your makeup bag is a good night's sleep."
Rajesh Koothrappali (TBBT Season 3)
"The Roommate Transmogrification"

Sheldon and Amy's relationship was not the only topic of conversation that night. There was other news to be shared, opinions to exchange, and outrage to be expressed over several developments that had happened while they were away. The chief among these was tenure, which Sheldon, Leonard, and Raj were still up for. It seemed that Kripke had brought his sycophantic endeavors to new lows, trying to give himself a leg up by taking advantage of Sheldon's absence and Leonard's and Raj's distraction of being worried for their mourning friend. As Kripke and Sheldon were still working on a joint project, this made Sheldon anxious to know what else his nemesis had been up to while he was away.

Howard bragged about an award his wife was up for while Bernadette brushed it off and said she was pretty sure a colleague had already beaten her out of it. He then moved on to a bunion his mother had recently had removed, a story which Sheldon quickly interrupted and redirected to ranting about Kripke again.

Amy could tell by the stubborn set of her boyfriend's jaw that he couldn't wait to get to work tomorrow and deal with the little Elmer Fudd-sounding cretin. She shared his avid need to return to work. It had been entirely too long since she'd worn a lab coat.

Raj interjected with the news of his upcoming trip to India to attend a cousin's wedding while Penny had them all laughing uproariously over a story involving a busboy and a waitress at the Cheesecake factory who accidentally got locked in the freezer together and ended up being found naked in a very compromising position some ten minutes later. While they all found the situation humorous for obvious reasons, Sheldon did not. He spent ten minutes lecturing about hypothermia and the importance of maintaining core body heat in freezing temperatures. He then began some strange story about sleeping naked in the North Pole—something the other guys immediately jumped in to quell.

Interesting reaction, Amy thought, I might have to ask him the particulars of that tale at another time.

The growing lateness of the hour and plain exhaustion made her leave long before she wanted to. She'd been having too much fun just sitting here watching them all interact with each other—and holding Sheldon's hand, of course. She would never grow tired of that. But the drowsiness would not be denied, and she soon announced her intention to depart. Besides stiffening at her side, Sheldon didn't react unfavorably to the news. He simply looked at his watch and nodded in agreement.

"Are you going to walk her downstairs?" Penny asked him as Amy reached down to get her purse with her free hand.

"What for?" he asked, looking genuinely confused. "Amy is well aware of how to get out of the building."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Some things never change."

Amy, however, wasn't offended. Sheldon was always going to be Sheldon. It was one of the things she loved most about him. Besides, if she wanted him to walk her out, she need only say so and he would have accommodated her. She knew that—even if their friends did not. She gave her boyfriend's hand a final squeeze, got off the couch, and told him goodbye.

"We'll walk out with you," Bernadette said, gesturing for Raj and Howard to get to their feet.

"I'll see you guys at work tomorrow," Raj said to Leonard and Sheldon.

The quartet had made it to the door and almost on the other side when Sheldon said, "Goodnight, turtle."

It startled Amy for a moment, but in a good way. She opened her mouth to reply, but Raj beat her to it.

"Goodnight, Sheldon," he called back, pulling the door closed behind him.

Amy bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

Bernadette caught this reaction. "What?" she asked as they walked down the stairs together, following after Raj and Howard.

"Nothing," Amy answered, fiddling with the strap of her purse.

"Does anyone know why Sheldon called me by the name of a shelled reptile?" Raj questioned.

"Maybe it's a Texas thing," Howard offered. "You know, redneck slang of some sort?"

"Oh!" Raj blurted out excitedly. "Perhaps he's referencing The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You know how he loves the show. That would be cool—as long as I can be Michelangelo. I refuse to be Raphael. Raphael sucks."

The guys continued to propose stranger and less probable theories all the way out to their respective cars. Throughout all of it, Amy said nothing. She simply grinned in the knowledge of her secret endearment with her boyfriend.

— —

Climbing into her waterbed at the end of a long day was one activity she usually found relaxing. Tonight, however, it felt decidedly different. Amy flicked on the table lamp and looked over at the empty side of the bed. I miss him.

Sheldon had never slept beside her in here. There was no logical reason that she should ache for his presence this way, but she did. Seeing his unoccupied spot only brought that sentiment home more. One of the romance novels she'd been reading before she went to Texas was stacked next to her alarm clock. She picked it up and tried to immerse herself in the tale. But as it involved a pirate and that only reminded her of Sheldon, she soon gave it up. Turning off the light, she laid back down again with a long sigh.

Between the "turtle" comment and the text message she'd received a half hour ago bidding her to "rest well," Sheldon was being every inch the attentive boyfriend. In fact, a few weeks ago, she would have been over the moon by these actions.

Now, it just made her desire his presence all the more. She wanted to drive straight over to his place in her pajamas and get into bed with him. They didn't even have to have intercourse. They could have just snuggled together in his impossibly narrow bed holding hands until they both fell asleep. Sounds like paradise to me.

"Get over yourself, Fowler. Sheldon would never go for that. Besides, he'll be here in a couple of days. You can survive until then."

She knew the ache in her chest was more because they had spent every waking moment together for the last week. It was normal that she should feel some adjustment issues after that kind of intensity. No doubt, Sheldon was feeling them too.

"Or he's so happy to be in his own bed again he's sleeping like a baby," she muttered. The second she heard the bitterness in her voice, she tried to push that particular emotion away.

She was being petty because of loneliness. It was beneath her. Amy sighed and turned over. She hated feeling like this. It was what she imagined the monkeys in that addiction study she had done so many months ago had felt when they were taken off cigarettes. This was withdrawal, pure and simple.

Great. I'm addicted to Sheldon, and there's no cure.

Considering her major area of study, the irony of that thought was too much. Pulling a pillow over her head, she groaned into it. It was going to be a long night.

— —

It took three cups of coffee just to get out of the apartment. Although, once she made it to the lab, there was so much to be done she barely had a spare minute to think about Sheldon or her lack of adequate rest. She did, however, notice that she didn't hear from him but it was only when she stopped to grab a sandwich late in the afternoon. He's probably so pleased to be back at work or dealing with Kripke, he hasn't thought about it. Likewise, she refused to allow herself to text him to see what he was up to. He's busy. He won't like me bothering him. You have willpower, woman. Use it.

She worked late, trying to finish up some paperwork that needed to be completed. After swinging by the grocery store, she walked to her apartment door expecting to make a quick dinner, shower, and fall into a dreamless sleep.

Instead, she found Penny, Bernadette, some snacks, the latest issue of Cosmo, and two bottles of wine.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Penny smiled and held up the wine. "Girls' night, remember? We figured you would forget, so we decided to come here instead."

"I'm not answering questions about what happened in Texas with Sheldon, if that is what this is about," she warned, letting them both inside and setting her groceries on the counter.

"It's your business," Bernadette said. "We just missed you and wanted to hang out."

"Yeah," Penny agreed. "But if you get drunk on too much wine and happen to blab everything to us, that's fine, too."

Amy made a mental note then and there to stick to non-alcoholic beverages for the duration of the evening. As they indulged in a non-nutritional meal of chips, dip, chocolate bars, cookies, wine, and—in Amy's case—milk, they caught her up on all the female-related happenings of the week including a call-back Penny had gotten for a Pepto Bismol commercial.

"I've never been so excited to be called bloated-looking before," Penny gleefully touted. "I should find out whether I got it in the next day or so."

They wished her luck and exchanged opinions on ways the pretty blonde actress should spend this possible extra income. Bernadette thought she should pay down her credit card balance while Amy suggested putting it in a savings account in case of emergency. Penny, however, borrowed Amy's laptop to show them a new pair of shoes she'd been eyeing for weeks. Then, the night quickly devolved into an online shopping expedition to find the most gorgeous pair of shoes available. This naturally transitioned into cheating through quizzes in Cosmo so they could get the right answers and not come off as what Penny referred to as "Omaha sluts"—although getting the "wrong" answer was more a problem for Penny than for Bernadette and Amy. Later, the women watched parts of a tawdry Lifetime movie and took turns reading aloud various articles from the magazine while debating the merits of each in relation to their own experiences with men. As Amy had only ever been with Sheldon, she didn't have much to contribute to those particular discussions.

When Penny was opening the second bottle of wine, she regarded her best friend carefully.

"You look tired, sweetie. You still exhausted from traveling yesterday?"

Amy nodded, helping herself to a Kit Kat. "It's just taking me a little while to get back into my old routine. I don't think I slept more than an hour last night."

"I don't think Sheldon got much rest either," Penny replied.

This perked Amy up. "Really?" Could he be missing me, too?

"Yeah, Leonard complained that Sheldon was up half the night working on his white board. Whatever it is must be top-secret because Sheldon wouldn't even let Leonard look at it. He was also up at the crack of dawn demanding to be taken into Caltech early. Then, Leonard said he was typing on his laptop the whole way there. It was weird—even for Sheldon."

Of course, he's working. He's probably onto something brilliant. I'm the overemotional one here—as usual. Amy closed her eyes. She hated this. She hadn't felt this insecure in a long time. It was ridiculous. Sheldon loved her. She was confident in this knowledge. OK. So, why does spending one day away from him leave me feeling so bereft?

"It'll be all right," Bernadette said, eyeing her with a knowing look.

Amy blushed and looked down. "I'm just tired."

"Yeah. Sure." Bernadette reached out and patted her shoulder. "You know, when Howie went away to space, I had a similar reaction. I don't think I had a real night's sleep until he was back at my side."

All pretense fell around Amy like a house of cards under a steep wind. "Yes, but Sheldon isn't in space. He's only a few miles away—no doubt playing vintage video games with his friends and not having to deal with feeling like this."

"We could go over there," Penny offered.

"No," Amy immediately replied. "I need to give him his space. Remember that article about 'The Seven Signs of a Clingy Girlfriend'? I certainly don't want to be one of those. Besides, he and I already have plans tomorrow. I'll simply have to abide these ridiculous feelings until then."

Penny scoffed. "Your feelings aren't ridiculous, and you're not clingy. You just miss him. It's normal."

"Wanna text him?" Bernadette offered. "That might make you feel better."

Amy actually considered the idea before swiftly rejecting it. "No. I'll be fine. I'm strong. I can handle this."

"I've never seen him so changed—and the way he was looking at you last night when he said he didn't have any regrets … I hate to say it because this is Sheldon we're talking about," Penny said, fanning her face dramatically, "but that was hot."

"Oh yeah," Bernadette added.

"I know," Amy replied, quickly changing the subject before it could turn to her and Sheldon and Texas. "So, did we agree the black, strappy sandals were the best ones?"

"No," Penny exclaimed, grabbing the laptop again, "it was the red pumps. See?"

— —

The next morning was better, but Amy wasn't sure if that was because she was getting used to her old schedule or because Sheldon was expected to be over in mere hours.

Maybe both.

It also didn't hurt that she was more rested. It had taken a while to finally fall asleep, but a last-minute texting session from Sheldon before bed helped. He'd informed her that he had updated the Relationship Agreement and would be bringing it for her review and signature. She responded and, before she knew it, twenty minutes had passed and fifteen texts had been exchanged. The last he sent had been the best one.

"I'll see you tomorrow, turtle. Pleasant dreams."

It took an hour to wipe the elated smile off her face and calm her racing heart. Penny and Bernadette wanted to know what Sheldon had written to make her look that joyful, but she refused to share it with them. As they were just happy to see her feeling better, they didn't push.

She spent Saturday morning talking to her mother on the phone and cleaning the apartment. It was good to catch up on all the family gossip and, as her mother didn't end the call with her usual 'When will you be bringing Sheldon to dinner?' question, Amy chocked it up to a good day.

The only snag came when she debated what to prepare for dinner. She wanted to make something special for Sheldon. Maybe spaghetti with hot dogs? But that didn't seem special enough. She thought about it some more, but couldn't come up with a better alternative. Spaghetti with hot dogs it is.

She was vacuuming the living room when her mind wandered back over what had happened on their return flight. Between dealing with their friends and the withdrawal symptoms over the last two days, it had almost slipped her mind. Now, it was a puzzle waiting to be solved.

Sheldon had been so emotional. It made no sense. She knew he loved her, of course. He knew she knew he loved her. He even had a loving look and, like his koala face, she'd memorized it. This was something more than that. What is more than love? She had no ready answer. She only knew there was something more about him in that moment, a desperation to his tone, a wildness in his eyes, and a slight avidness to his expression—almost as if he were afraid she was going to disappear if he wasn't careful. Which is ridiculous. He knows better. Then, it was as if the emotions had gotten to be too much and he'd looked away. Amy hadn't wanted to push him; so she'd let him be. Sheldon was obviously still working things out in his mind. But, two days later, she would have given anything to be able to read his mind.

She groaned in frustration. After an hour of serious consideration, she was no closer to solving that particular enigma. Maybe I never will. Sheldon's brain was a complex machine. No matter how long they were together, there were going to be things even she wasn't able to decipher. He'll tell me when he's ready. I can be patient in the meantime.

Her musings were interrupted by a text from an unknown number.

"Forgive me?"

Her brow shot up. What the heck? She quickly typed back, "Who is this?"

"Missy. I got ur number from George. Is that OK?" was the reply.

Amy saved the number in her phone before responding. "That's fine. Do I forgive you? No. You shouldn't have told everyone."

"I didn't tell Mama. That's most important. Besides, I needed to tell SOMEONE."

Amy didn't answer. It wasn't that she was especially mad or anything. In fact, she was actually grateful things had turned out the way they had. It was far easier to have everything out in the open than having to worry about sneaking around. Nevertheless, she felt it was better to let Missy stew in her own juices for a while.

A few minutes later another text binged on her phone.

"I'm sry. Really. Was it bad when u got back?"

Amy worded a swift reply. "Bad enough. But it's over now."

"Sry. Can u please forgive me? If it helps, Greg was supposed to kiss me the other night & now refuses to do so until I 'understand the error of my ways'. He's being ridiculous."

Amy started to craft a response, but then decided she didn't want to type anymore. She pressed a few buttons and soon had Missy on the line.

"Took you long enough," Sheldon's sister said instead of the standard "Hello" greeting. "I thought I was going to have to text you all day."

"Why not just call in the first place?" Amy asked.

She could practically hear Missy chewing her nails down to the quick. She must be really nervous, Amy thought. Good.

"I didn't know if you would answer an unknown number or a call from me. I wasn't sure how mad you were. Please don't be mad. You're my friend and all, but Sheldon is my twin. He finally gives up the goodies and I have to talk about it with somebody. Penny was the only one who could understand. We've been wanting you two to get hot and heavy for a long time. You have no idea. If you were characters on a TV show, we would totally ship you. So, please don't be mad. Greg is mad at me for telling, George is mad for the same reason, Shelly won't talk to me—"

"You talked to Sheldon?" Amy interrupted.

"Yeah, well, I tried to a little while ago. But he mentioned some troll or something he was working on, demanded that I apologize to you, reminded me that our weekly talks happen on Sundays not Saturdays, and promptly hung up. I love my brother, but I don't think I'll ever understand him."

"'Troll'?" Amy repeated. "Are you sure that's what he said he was working on?"

"That's what it sounded like. I figured it was a sciency term or some kind of equation."

"No, a troll is a supernatural creature from Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore. It has nothing to do with science or mathematics."

Missy sighed. "Then, maybe he was talking about one of those weird movies he likes to watch all the time. I don't know. My point is that you have to forgive me."

"Why? So Greg will finally kiss you?"

"No," Missy let out an inelegant snort, "I'll get him to kiss me when I want it bad enough. He thinks he's in control of this relationship, but I'm just letting him think that for the time being."

Amy rolled her eyes. She was sure Missy thought that. Whether it was actually true or not was something else altogether.

Missy continued, "I meant what I said about wanting us to be friends, Amy. I might have gotten a tad overexcited, but I didn't have a right to go blabbing my mouth about you and Shelly's private affairs without your say-so. I might not be happy with my boyfriend's bossy nature, but he's right in this instance. I can see that."

With so sincere an apology, Amy couldn't help but agree. "Then you're forgiven. Just don't let it happen a second time."

"I won't. I promise. So we're friends again?"

"Yes," Amy replied, not bothering to explain that she'd never once considered Missy as not being her friend. "We're friends."

Missy let out a delighted sigh. "Good. Now I can tell you the scoop about how Ginny got selected for a TSA search during her flight back home yesterday. Apparently, the officer who stopped her was really good looking. Ginny thought he was flirting with her or something. So she agrees to the search, but then all heck breaks loose."

"Really?" Amy asked, on the edge of her seat. "What happened?"

"Well, let me put it this way. Ginny got herself felt up by a fat woman with more hair on her face than Uncle Stumpy and was madder than a wet hen when she found out she'd been chosen for search at random. The cute officer wasn't interested in her at all."

Amy gasped and pressed the phone closer to her ear. "No!"

"Oh yeah," Missy said. "Ginny'll be back for Thanksgiving—Lord, help us. I heard how horrible she was to you. So, I figure if she says anything nasty in November, we can ask about her strip search with her girlfriend Bertha the TSA agent."

Amy laughed uproariously. With friends as good as Missy at her side, meanies like Ginny didn't stand a chance. "Sounds like a plan," she said. "Look, Missy, since I have you on the phone anyway, can you do me a favor …"

— —

Amy was showered, dressed and ready by 5 pm. Dinner was on the table 55 minutes later. Sheldon's signature knock sounded 15 minutes after that. Odd, she thought. He's never late. She swung open the door, giddy with excitement at the concept of seeing him after what felt like a million years. It was all she could do not to jump him where he stood and pepper his face with kisses.

The fact that he was glowering helped curb that particular desire.

"What wrong?" she asked, stepping aside so he could come in.

"Leonard refused to bring me over here. Kept muttering something about the fact that I had prevented him from sleeping for the past two nights and how, now that I was finally going to be out of the apartment for a while, he was going to bed." Sheldon harrumphed. "He certainly had no trouble sleeping last night. It took me calling him three times to get him to wake up when I needed him."

He dumped the large, red satchel he was carrying next to the couch.

"Is that your laundry?" she asked, surprised that he would have so little.

He frowned. "No. That is what I'm trying to tell you. Since Leonard refused to bring me here and Penny was at work, I was left with no choice but to leave my laundry behind and take the bus if I was going to be on time. They, of course, had to stop for every Tom, Dick, and Harry located between my apartment and yours. It was a nightmare, believe me. Nobody seemed to care that I was going to be late or that you would be waiting."

"We can go pick up your laundry now if you like," she offered, trying to soothe his temper.

That only seemed to make it worse. "No, my entire schedule is thrown off. Let the anarchy begin! But I won't let this stand for long. Never you fear, Leonard shall feel my wrath when I return home. We have a roommate agreement for a reason. My—" He stopped and sniffed the air. "What's that intoxicating smell? Is that what I think it is?"

He noticed. She smiled and skipped over to the table, pulling the lid off of a glass baking dish with the flourish of a model exhibiting prizes on The Price is Right.

Sheldon rushed over with a childlike cry of delight. "Tater tot casserole! That's my favorite casserole and my second favorite food next to spaghetti with little bits of hot dog cut up in it!" He looked up at her, his blue eyes wide with surprise. "How did you know?"

"I asked Missy. She got the recipe from your mom and emailed it to me."

"You did all this for me?" He stared down at the steaming dish and shook his head as if he couldn't believe it. Amy thought she had successfully averted his previously bad mood. However, by the time he looked back up at her again, something had changed. "You did all this for me."

Where he'd previously seemed pleased, he now seemed exasperated and angry. "Amy," he said with a frustrated sigh, "we need to talk."