Episode Plot: When an upcoming Broadway musical comes up, Rachel decides to join in, but it comes to a tough point when two of her friends decide to audition. Meanwhile, the glee kids worry about if Vocal Adrenaline will compete against them for Nationals, but someone shocking comes by to tell them news that could get them worried about being beaten - Sue.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, and I never will
Rachel is looking through a magazine, when Finn and Kurt budge in through the room. "Well, you two could've knocked." Rachel told them. "We found something you'd be interested in." Kurt said. "Is there another version of Funny Girl?!" Rachel asked, making them think she'd really want to play Fanny Brice again. "Nope, however, there is something that I overheard someone say." Finn said. "What is it?" Rachel asked, interested. "She said that you'd make a good Glinda, or a good Nina." Finn said, and Rachel looks at him. "I know who Glinda is, but who's Nina?" Rachel asked. "The person wants you to try out for either Wicked or In The Heights." Kurt told her. Rachel looked scared. She wanted to try out for Wicked, but she wanted to see how the other Broadway show was - the problem is, she doesn't even know what In The Heights is.
Rachel is walking nervously into the room for Broadway try-outs, and suddenly, someone familiar tapped on her shoulder - Santana. "What are you doing?" Rachel asked. "I'm gonna check out your audition. So, who are you auditioning for?" Santana asked. "Nina from In The Heights." Rachel answered. "So, you're out of that Funny Girl stage? That's awesome, because that stage was annoying." Santana said. "Except I'm auditioning with a Funny Girl song." Rachel said, making Santana roll her eyes. "There's that again." Santana said. Someone walks up to them, and he looks at Rachel. "Hi, I'm Johnathon...call me John for short, and I will be your guidance through your audition. Who are you trying out for?" Johnathon asked. "Rachel told me she was auditioning for Nina from In The Heights." Santana said. "The director will see you shortly." Johnathon said, walking away, and Santana pats Rachel's shoulder. "You're gonna do well. If you're a Broadway person, you're so going to see yourself playing the role." Santana said, making Rachel feel a bit better. "I can't wait to see." Rachel said. They go to sit down, when Rachel sees someone signing "DANIEL WAS HERE" on the wall, and Santana hits his arm. "Don't write on the wall. It's bothering me." Santana said. "Sorry. I'm writing my name down, so everyone knows who I am once opening night comes by. The role will be outstanding." They boy said. "Is Daniel your soon to be stage name or is that actually your name?" Rachel asked. "Nope, Daniel is actually my name." He answered. Rachel tales out a marker, and writes "Rachel Berry was here" with her drawing a star at the end of it. She knew she had some fans, so if she got the role of Nina, people would know it's the Rachel Berry playing the role. "Who are you auditioning for?" Santana asked, interested. "I've already auditioned. I want it to be a surprise when I do get the part." Daniel said. "Good idea." Rachel said. Suddenly, the director walks out. "Anyone here named Rachel Berry?" The director asked. Rachel raises her hand, and Santana smiles at her being brave at it. "It's your turn." He said. Rachel gets up, and they both go in another room.
In the audition room, Rachel wanders around, when the director sits at his chair. "So, Rachel...when will we start?" The director asked. Rachel turns around, and thinking about her success as Fanny Brice, she smiles, excited about what's to come. "Hi, I'm Rachel Berry, and I'll be auditioning for the role of Nina." Rachel said. "Oh, from In The Heights. What are you gonna sing?" The director asked. "I'm gonna sing My Man from the musical I used to be in, Funny Girl." Rachel answered. "Go ahead." The director said.
[After taking a few deep breaths, Rachel starts her audition song]
[Rachel]
Oh, my man, I love him so
He'll never know
All my life is just despair
But I don't care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright all right
What's the difference if I say
I'll go away
[The director starts to look impressed by her talent as she continues on]
When I know I'll come back on my knees someday
For whatever my man is
I am his
forever more
Oh my man I love him so
He'll never know
All my life is just despair
But I don't care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright all right
What's the difference if I say
I'll go away
When I know I'll come back on my knees someday
For whatever my man is
I am his forever more
"Rachel...your vocals are impressive." The director said. "Thank you so much!" Rachel said, happily. "You're welcome. We'll tell you if you got it in a few days." The director said. Rachel, feeling proud of herself for auditioning, walks out. She knew the results were gonna be good.
The next day, Santana felt like she wasn't even awake. Rachel went on constantly about her audition last night, she barely had time for any sleep, and she had no time for any coffee. All she walked in to was the glee club hoping for Rachel to get the part - that was until Brittany spotted Santana. "Oh my god, what happened?" Brittany asked her wife. "I had no time for coffee, and now look at me. Looking like a zombie coming to glee club rehearsals." Santana said. "You are a zombie." Kurt mumbled. However, Santana was still able to hear him, as she glared at him, going to her seat. As if Santana's day couldn't get any worse, someone walks into the room with a look of revenge - Sue. "Looks like we're in trouble." Brittany said. "So...you guys won last year's Regionals, did you?" Sue asked. "Yep, we sure did." Rachel answered. "Well...I'm afraid I have some bad news, which is actually GOOD news for me," Rachel knew where this was going, "Vocal Adrenaline just picked the most powerful songs for Nationals." Sue said. "You guys are competing for Nationals?!" Tina asked, hoping it was a dream. "Yep, we begged." Sue answered. This makes Santana emotional. "How do we win Nationals?" Santana asked. "Not again." Quinn groaned. This was her attitude from last week to top it off". "Sue, on one caution, we pick more powerful songs than you." Blaine said. "Oh, you'd be glad if you lost. Two is enough!" Sue yelled. "Well, it's not enough for us." Rachel said. "We'll see about that." Sue said. She walks out, leaving some of the members shaking.
In the hall, Santana seems to be gossiping stuff about Sue to everyone around her. "Sue once attempted to fly my wife out of a cannon. What a shame of her." Santana to do the others, and when Sue overhears this, she grabs Santana. "Santana, I need to speak to you." Sue told her. "Be right back." Santana said, to give everyone a heads up. They go towards a corner, and Santana crosses her arms. "You wicked witch." Santana said, angrily. "What did I do?" Sue asked. "You're making sure we don't win. Nationals is a very important competition to us and Rachel, so stop ruining it." Santana said. "Stop ruining it? The only thing that's being ruined is yourself." Sue said. "What makes you think that?" Santana asked. "Because you're also trying to win Nationals. Santana, isn't it my time to shine?" Sue asked. Santana looks down, then glares at Sue. "No." Santana answered. She storms off, making Sue angry. "DO NOT MAKE ME HAVE TO TELL RACHEL EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID!" Sue yelled, making Santana groan. "I won't get in trouble! She'll accept my language at you." Santana said. She walks away, making Sue cross her arms. Winning Nationals would never work with Santana in the way.
Santana was trying to see if she could get herself ready for Nationals by doing a stripped down version of Already Gone, when Rachel comes in; Santana not noticing her. "I see you're practicing for Nationals." Rachel said, making Santana jump. "Why do you scare me to death?" Santana asked. "Sorry for scaring you. I have some big news." Rachel said. "What's that?" Santana asked, starting to look scared. "Sue is trying to make Finn join Vocal Adrenaline." Rachel said. Santana wanted to lose her temper, but instead, she gets up, angrily. "That's it, I don't care if she coached the Cheerios when I was in high school, I am killing Sue Sylvester." Santana said, making Rachel stop her. "No killing." Rachel told her. "Then what am I supposed to do?" Santana asked. "Stick by my side." Rachel said. She walks out, with Santana following from behind.
In a classroom, Sue is keeping Finn in a chair. "Finn, Vocal Adrenaline is more fun than this rotten glee club." Sue said. "No, it is not." Finn said. Suddenly, Rachel and Santana walk in. "Oh, no you're not making Finn join Vocal Adrenaline." Santana said. "Why not me?" Sue asked. "I hate everything about you." Santana said. Finn finds time to get up from the chair. "I'm not joining Vocal Adrenaline at all." Finn said, going to the three. "You all will pay." Sue said. Rachel and Finn look at each other, and Santana rolls her eyes. "There's no time for making love, come on." Santana told the two, making them follow.
Sue, being annoyed by everything, leans on the piano in the auditorium, as Santana and Kurt spy on her. "So, I need to find a way to make her give up." Santana whispered. "Recruit one of the members into our glee club. They're gonna enjoy it." Kurt whispered back. "Nick?" Santana asked, quietly. "No, not him. He's the leader of Vocal Adrenaline." Kurt answered. "I'm leaving. Think of a way to make her give up yourself." Santana said. "I'll go too." Kurt said. Sue sees them walk away, but she just stays there, to get everything off of her mind, when someone familiar walks in behind her - her mom, Doris. "I heard about how you're struggling." Doris said. "I am struggling, mom..." Sue stopped once she realized who she was talking to, and she turns around, "mom, what are you doing here?" Sue asked. "I heard about you trying to win for once. It's everyone's way to shine." Doris said. "Mother, that's what I am trying to do." Sue told her. "Exactly. That's why I came here, and that's to make you feel better." Doris told her. They both sit down, and Sue looks at her. "It's a problem with the other glee club. Their director is literally trying out for Broadway, and then there's a cranky Latina, and a gay porcelain. The others are not fit to be my friend." Sue said. "Isn't that the same with Vocal Adrenaline?" Doris asked. "No one in Vocal Adrenaline is gay!" Sue yelled. "You'll figure out a way, I promise." Doris said, giving Sue an idea. "That's a good idea! Meet both glee clubs." Sue said. "I don't think..." Doris tried to confess, but Sue interrupted. "It's a way to know which one to root for when Nationals comes." Sue told her. "Oh, okay." Doris said, getting up, but not leaving. "Is there anything else you want from me?" Sue asked. "I thought everytime we see each other, we'd do a duet." Doris answered, making Sue get up, with caution. "No, I'm not doing a song again." Sue said. "Didn't you say you love the sound of your voice?" Doris asked. "Oh, yeah! I do." Sue said, now realizing. "Great, because I want to sing that new song that was popular from what people call it: Hunger Games." Doris said. This makes Sue annoyed again. "Why do you want us to sing a song from a movie I will never plan to watch?" Sue asked. "Why not?" Doris asked. "I have an urge to punch you for some reason." Sue told her. Doris puts her arm on Sue's. "You're gonna enjoy it, I promise." Doris said. "I hope." Sue said, hoping to get things over with. "Hit it!" Doris told the band.
[The band starts to play a song, as Sue sat down in shock - she did know the song]
[Doris]
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
They strung up a man
They say who murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where dead man called out
For his love to flee.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.
[Sue decides to join in, and she gets up, and walks towards her mom]
[Sue]
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where I told you to run,
So we'd both be free.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.
[The band members decide to join in as back-up]
[Band members]
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where I told you to run,
So we'd both be free.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
They strung up a man
They say who murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.
[Sue and Doris with Band members]
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where dead man called out
For his love to flee.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.
As soon as the song ends, Sue and Doris hug, but carefully. "Well, when do I meet each glee club?" Doris asked. "Tomorrow to be on the safe side." Sue answered. Sue goes to sit down by herself once again, as Doris looks back at her, before walking out.
That night, Santana stands on her bed, singing her own version of Rock 'n Roll, something she sang the year before, when Rachel budges in. "I need to give you some advice before I see understudy auditions tomorrow." Rachel said. "And what is that?" Santana asked. "Do not try to make yourself look like you're gonna audition with Don't Rain On My Parade, because it turns everything around." Rachel said. "Okay." Santana said. "And search for the best people who'd fit it, and only choose one person." Rachel said. This gives Santana a plan. "Okay." Santana said. When Rachel walks out, a smirk appears on her face.
The next day, Rachel walks into the audition room, when Santana walks onto the stage. "Santana, what did I say yesterday?" Rachel asked. "I'm not auditioning, I'm just saying I found some people." Santana said. "Some people? You were only supposed to find one." Rachel said. "It's worth it." Santana said. Rachel now accepts it, and she goes off the stage with a smirk on her face. The plan was gonna go well. Backstage, just before auditions start, Santana looks for the person, Kurt walks in to see the understudy auditions, and Santana taps his shoulder. "What?" Kurt asked. "Where's the person?" Santana asked. "Who?" Kurt asked. "I forgot her name." Santana answered. "Stop forcing people into auditioning for musicals." Kurt said. "Rachel told me to." Santana said. "Forget it." Kurt said. "Audition for her." Santana said. "That is not gonna happen." Kurt said. "You're gonna enjoy it." Santana said. "No, I'm not. I'm a boy, the auditions are for girls." Kurt said. "I don't care. I'll explain this to Rachel later." Santana said. "Fine!" Kurt yelled. "However, I'm gonna make sure you top off Rachel." Santana said. "With what?" Kurt asked. "You'll see." Santana answered.
A few minutes after a girl is finished singing Beautiful Dreamer, Rachel gets ready to go. "I got glee club rehearsal to go to." Rachel said, to herself. Santana suddenly gets on the stage. "You have one more person awaiting." Santana sad. "Didn't your person already go up to audition?" Rachel asked. "Nope." Santana said. "Oh...next!" Rachel said. Santana walks off the stage, smirking once again. That's when Kurt walks up, and Rachel stands up. "SANTANA!" Rachel yelled. Although Kurt's best friend, she was not happy with Santana's choice. "I would be proud to audition." Kurt said, playing along, since he was asked to. "This is a girl role." Rachel said. "It'll be alright, I promise." Kurt said. "This is gonna be a problem." Rachel mumbled, to herself.
[Kurt's audition song starts, as Santana laughs, quietly]
[Kurt]
I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it
Wait, they're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute
They'll cheer each toot
( Yeah, she's terrific!)
When I expose it!
Now can't you see to look at me
That I'm a natural Camille
As Camille I just feel, I have so much to offer
(Hey listen kid I know I'd be divine because ...)
I'm a natural cougher
Some ain't got it, not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent!
Laugh, they'll bend in half
(Did you ever hear that story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes
(Stick around for the jokes)
A thousand faces, I reiterate
When you're gifted
Than you're gifted
These are facts I got no ax to grind
He, what are you blind?
In all the world so far, I'm the greatest star
I'm the greatest star
I am by far but no one knows it!
That's why I was born
I blow my horn
Till someone blows it
I'll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I'll flicker, then flare up, ah, ah!
All the world's gonna stare up
Looking down you'll never see me
Try the sky 'cause that'll be me!
I can make them cry
I can make them sigh
Some day they'll clamor for my drama
Have you guessed yet, who's the best yet?
If you ain't I'll tell you one more time
You bet yer last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest star!
Santana applauds loudly from backstage, and Rachel doesn't - because she knew Santana was up to this.
Later that evening, Santana was soaking in a relaxing bath, when Rachel barges in once again. "What the hell, Rachel? Can someone spend a night without you barging in?" Santana asked. "I knew you did this." Rachel said. "Did what?" Santana asked. "YOU PICKED THE WRONG PERSON!" Rachel yelled. "Except Kurt is your best friend!" Santana yelled back. "I can't accept him. I'm a best friend of his, but he's not fit for the role." Rachel said. "And why's that?" Santana asked. "Because he's a boy, and the role is for girls." Rachel said. "Well, the person I asked for didn't come." Santana said. "Stop making excuses. I know you picked Kurt, just to "entertain" me. Well, nice try." Rachel said. She walks out, and slams the door behind her, making Santana cross her arms.
The next day, Rachel had to get the other kids prepared for tomorrow, because Sue and her mom were gonna meet them, but Santana doesn't take her commands, and just keeps polishing her nails. "SANTANA!" Rachel yelled, making Santana jump. "Stop scaring me to death!" Santana yelled. "Well, then stop ignoring me, and get prepared." Rachel said. "I already am prepared. I've been prepared since I was born." Santana said. "Santana, there's just an importance to..." Rachel gets cut off to Santana playing Sk8er Boi on full blast on her phone, and playing one of the band members' electric guitars, loudly. "GO AWAY!" Santana yelled. This makes Kurt distracted by how Santana was behaving...and how loud she had both her phone and the guitar be. Rachel goes to unplug the guitar, and pause the music. "Santana, just come get prepared." Kurt said. Santana rolls her eyes, and goes to the others, since she had no choice. Kurt knew the situation was not gonna end well.
At auditions, Rachel is waiting for Santana to give her a feedback on when the person finally arrives so she can accept the person, and not a boy. That's when Santana comes up on the stage. "Please tell me you don't have another boy." Rachel said. "I don't. The actual person I asked for arrived!" Santana said. "Okay, let's see her then." Rachel said. Santana walks off the stage, and Tina goes up on the stage. "SANTANA, HOW WOULD TINA NOT MAKE IT TO AUDITIONS, BUT KURT HAD TIME TO "AUDITON"?" Rachel asked, loudly. "Rachel, calm down!" Santana yelled from backstage. "I'll audition for understudy instead." Tina said. "Let's hear it." Rachel said, trying to keep her anger in.
[Tina's audition song starts, as Santana looks worried by the look of Rachel's face]
[Tina]
She's just a girl and she's on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, lonely like a highway
She's living in a world and it's on fire
Feeling the catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away
Ohhhh oh oh oh oh
She got both feet on the ground
And she's burning it down
Ohhhh oh oh oh oh
She got her head in the clouds
And she's not backing down
This girl is on fire...
This girl is on fire...
She's walking on fire...
This girl is on fire...
Everybody stares, as she goes by
'Cause they can see the flame that's in her eyes
Watch her when she's lighting up the night
Nobody knows that she's a lonely girl
And it's a lonely world
But she gon' let it burn, baby, burn, baby
This girl is on fire...
This girl is on fire...
She's walking on fire...
This girl is on fire...
Oh, oh, oh, oh ohhhhh oh oh oh ohhh oh oh oh ohhhh...
She's just a girl and she's on fire
Santana once again applauds from backstage, and Rachel applauds as well, for how good she sounded - but she still had to talk with Santana.
Santana is sound asleep with Brittany, when Rachel, once again, barges in, startling both. "RACHEL, STOP BARGING IN ON ME!" Santana screamed. She was really getting annoyed by Rachel's actions this week. "Stop making excuses for people's auditions. Why are you saying Tina couldn't audition if she could come to glee club rehearsal?" Rachel asked. "That's my accident." Santana said. "Yeah, right..." Rachel said, finally walking out. Santana could finally get some shut eye.
The next day, when Santana sees Rachel walk in, she puts a sheet over her, and plays This Is Halloween on her phone, as a planned prank, making Rachel take off the sheet fast, reach for Santana's phone, and pause the song. "RACHEL!" Santana yelled. "What do you think it is, Halloween?" Rachel asked. "Well, screw that. Nothing ever works with you." Santana said. As soon as she sits down, Sue comes in, and Rachel gulps. "Rachel, what's the sheet for?" Sue asked. "Blame Santana." Rachel said. "I have a lot downloaded on my phone." Santana said. "I broke your phone though." Finn said. "I got a new one, smarty-pants." Santana said. "Okay, guys. Time for Mama Sylvester to meet glee club." Sue said. As soon as she says that, Santana gets up, for something that she think Sue's mom would love to walk into. Suddenly, Doris walks in, and Santana starts to play Never Again on her phone, and Tina turns around to her. "Turn that off." Tina said. "Come on, it's a nice entrance." Santana said. "It's not my phone." Doris said. Rachel goes to pause Santana's music once again, and Santana sits down, displeased. "You all are tone deaf." Santana said. "Well, meet my mom. She is coming here to see who to root for the most." Sue said. "Hey, Sue's slutbag mom...why'd you make the most evil person in eternity?" Santana asked, making Rachel turn around. "What has happened to you?" Rachel asked. "Never call my mom a slutbag." Sue said. "She's copying my language actually." Alissa corrected. "One of my ex-boyfriends once called me a slutbag. It's not your language." Quinn said. "Well, can anyone in here sing good?" Doris asked. Everyone raises their hand, while Santana raises hers higher. "Not to be mean, but why are you another Rachel?" Sue asked to Santana. "Can you stop being evil then?" Santana asked. "Santana, I was never evil, I'm just one of the people with a cold heart...but not to my mom." Sue told her.
[Sue turns around, and a song starts with it, as the others look confused]
[Sue]
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me
Love me
[Scene changes to Sue in the auditorium, making flashbacks of her conflicts with Santana]
Tonight
I'm a let you
Be the captain
Tonight
I'm a let you
Do your thing, yeah
Tonight
I'm a let you
Be a rider
Giddy up
Giddy up
Giddy up, babe
Tonight
I'm a let it
Be fire
Tonight
I'm a let you
Take me higher
Tonight
Baby we can
Get it on
Yeah we can get it on
Yeah
Do you like it boy?
I wa-wa-want
What you wa-wa-want
Give it to me baby
Like boom, boom, boom
What I wa-wa-want
Is what you wa-wa-want
Na, na
Ah, ah
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me
Love me
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me
Love me
[Scene changes to Sue in her hurt locker, back in Ohio, throwing darts at a voodoo Santana doll, similar to Santana's voodoo Rachel doll]
I like the way
You touch me there
I like the way
You pull my hair
Baby, if I don't feel it
I ain't faking
No, no
I like
When you tell me
Kiss it there
I like
When you tell me
Move it there
So get it up
Time to get it up
You say you're a rude boy
Show me what you got
Now
Come here right now
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me
Love me
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me
Love me
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here
Rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me
Love me
The next day, Rachel is sitting in the director's room with Finn, Kurt, and Santana, waiting for her results. "Rachel, I'll be so proud if you get the role." Finn said. Rachel smiles at Finn, and they both share a kiss, making Santana roll her eyes, and look at the songs on her phone, when the director comes in. "Hello, Rachel and some friends." The director said. Rachel gets excited for hearing the results, as the other three wave. "Well, your results are in, and Rachel...you got the part." The director said. Rachel screams, happily, as Finn and Kurt get up, and they both give Rachel a hug. She couldn't wait to tell the glee club this news.
In the classroom, Rachel is in front of the glee club, with Kurt and Finn sitting on the piano. "Guys, I'm happy to admit this, but...I got the role of Nina!" Rachel exclaimed. The others look happy for her, as Kurt and Finn smile from behind. "I'm just so happy all of you are supporting me! This is gonna go incredibly well, and I just want you guys to know that...if you ever become famous, remember that being a part of something special makes you special, and that glee club helped the success, because remembering this in Lima helped me earn two Broadway show roles, and it's a dream come true, and I wouldn't have gone this far without you guys." Rachel said. Impressed by her speech, the others applaud for her, as Finn and Kurt lead Rachel into a group hug, as the screen fades to black.