Difficult Decisions
"You may not like being on the receiving end, neither would I. But the facts are with me. As much as we try to avoid them, these decisions need to be made."
The Illusive Man's words came back to Shepard as she lay in the med bay. Someone came to stand at her side.
"I'm not finished punching myself in the head yet," she mumbled.
"Commander." It was Joker. He lowered his voice. "Kate. Are you okay?"
She opened an eye a crack. He looked worried. "Did anyone else make it out?"
He didn't need to say it; she could tell by the way he looked away that no one else escaped the system. "I tried, Joker, I did, but Kenson-"
"Don't, Kate. I know you well enough to know you wouldn't have destroyed a relay and an entire system on a whim."
Hearing him say it made her want to get sick. "What the hell am I going to tell Hackett?"
"If you aren't playing it straight with him, you'd better think fast. He's here. Chakwas is talking to him now."
Shepard cursed and rolled to her side, pushing herself up as she swung her legs over the table.
"I'll ask you one more time. Where is your base, human?" A batarian, his tone threatening.
"You're wasting time. The reapers are coming!" Kenson's voice, with no fear, only the conviction of someone who knew something with certainty.
"How do I look?"
"You were pretty banged up, and your face had seen better days. Black eye, cut lip, bruised cheek...finger marks around your neck. Chakwas took pictures, wanted anyone who asked to see that you took a beating. You look a lot better now, though."
"Every minute you keep me here, brings them closer."
"So I should let you destroy the relay? Just destroy the entire system?"
"Do what you will, batarian, but killing me won't save you."
"No, but it will amuse me."
Shepard touched her neck, remembering one of Kenson's men strangling her until she passed out. "Fuck."
"You get a free pass today, Commander. Swear all you want."
"Do you think they'll come after you, Doctor Kenson?"
"I'm not taking any chances. Batarians don't much care for humans who plan to destroy their mass relays."
"Ah...so the charges against you are true?"
"Well, to be fair, that's about half the story. My people and I were investigating rumors of reaper technology, out here on the fringes of this system."
"You found something."
"Proof that the reapers will be arriving in this system. And once they're here, they'll be able to use the mass relay to get anywhere else in the galaxy. We call it the Alpha relay." Kenson stared out the shuttle's window at the relay.
"And so based on what you've found, you decided to destroy the relay."
Shepard closed her eyes and pressed her palms to them. "God, I hope I did the right thing."
"I'm still not sure I understand how you came to know about this supposed invasion."
"The evidence came from what we call Object Rho, a reaper artifact we discovered in the asteroid field near the relay itself."
Shepard looked up to see Hackett staring back at her, Chakwas's datapad in his hands. "I think you should probably go, Joker."
"Hey." Joker reached out and put his hand on hers. "You know where to find me, Kate."
"Thanks. Thank you, Jeff." She was feeling oddly sentimental and watched her friend and pilot cross the lab to leave with Doctor Chakwas. Hackett closed the door behind them and turned to face her.
"The stakes are too high. If you were really willing to destroy an entire system over this, I want to see your proof."
"I guess I can't argue with that. Give me a moment."
After Kenson called her team to advise them she was okay and returning with Commander Shepard, she explained that her team planned to destroy the relay by propelling a large asteroid into it. The resulting explosion would likely resemble a supernova that would destroy the system. It was remote, but there were over three hundred thousand batarians on the planet Aratoht, where the prison was located.
"Looks like you've recovered."
"Admiral." She couldn't remember a time when she'd been so nervous around Hackett. She smoothed her uniform and stood up.
"Sounds like you went through hell down there. How are you feeling?"
"I'm...better. Fine. No more visions, if that's what you mean. I...ah...wasn't expecting to see you here."
"You went out there as a favor to me. I decided to debrief you in person." He shifted, clasping his hands behind his back as he examined her face. "That was before the mass relay exploded, destroying an entire batarian system. What the hell happened out there, Commander?"
"Have you received any intel about what happened?"
"All I know is that I sent you out there to break Amanda Kenson out of prison. And now an entire system is destroyed. I hope you can fill in the leap of logic between those two events."
"What's this?" Shepard pointed to a countdown timer above the door to Kenson's base of operations.
"That's our countdown to arrival. When that gets to zero, the reapers will have come. Just over two days and counting. Gives you perspective, doesn't it?"
"How do you know that's an accurate countdown?" The little voice in Shepard's head was getting hoarse from all the warnings it was shouting out.
"It is," Kenson replied. "The artifact has been giving off pulses at definite intervals since we found it. The pulses have been decreasing at steady rate. The artifact is reacting to the reapers' proximity. In just over forty eight hours, the pulses will become constant and the reapers will be here."
"You're saying the reapers could be at Earth in two days? Then there's no time to waste."
"Then let's show you that proof. That door exits the hanger. The artifact is in our central lab."
Shepard reached for her own datapad and handed it to Hackett. "I confirmed Kenson's proof, sir. The reapers were coming, and destroying that relay was the only way to stop them." She looked away, trying to think of a way to soften the blow for Hackett, but he was already scrolling through her report and would see soon enough.
"Commander Shepard, I give you Object Rho."
Shepard tried to keep her shock to herself as she stared at Object Rho. At least two stories tall, it resembled a reaper, but rather than being bug like, it looked like a flower. It had several 'petals', curving out and up toward the ceiling. A blue light glowed at its center and radiated out over the surface of the petals.
"You have the reaper artifact just sitting here, out in the open?" She could feel a faint tingling sensation at the base of her neck.
"When we found it, it showed me a vision of the reapers' arrival."
"Listen, Kenson. This is not good." Shepard took a step toward the doctor.
"Give it a moment, Shepard. It will give you the proof you need."
It happened at that exact moment; Shepard's body went rigid, her head rolled back, and her mind was filled with images, most of it familiar. The prothean beacons had shown her these images over two years earlier. Some of it, however, was new. She saw flashes of the Bahak system and reapers surrounding the relay, and as she fell to her knees she knew it was real. How long had the artifact been in the lab? Was Kenson's entire team indoctrinated? She turned to find Kenson standing over her, a pistol in her hand.
"I can't allow you to restart the project, Commander. I can't let you stop the arrival."
People were running toward them, several Alliance soldiers if she wasn't mistaken. She tried to stand and faltered. Finding strength, she tried again, successfully lunging at Kenson. Twisting the doctor's arm, Shepard snatched the pistol from her and took a few shots over her shoulder as she ran for cover.
"Take her down!"
It hadn't taken long for Shepard to be overwhelmed. A handsome young man with nice blue eyes choked her into unconsciousness.
"She kept me sedated for over two days, Admiral. I started the engines with little more than an hour to spare. I tried to warn the batarian colony, sir, but...time ran out." The truth of the matter was Kenson had tried to thwart Shepard's efforts at every turn, interrupting her message to the colony and cutting off communications. The Normandy had barely made it through the relay. No one on the planet stood a chance. Hackett confirmed that no survivors were reported.
"At least you tried." He turned and walked a few paces away. "And you believe that the reaper invasion really was a threat?"
"Yes, absolutely." She wanted to scream. She'd been singing this same damn song for too long now and it was beyond old. "We literally had minutes to spare. Kenson told me the reapers would arrive regardless, and that destroying the relay would only slow them down. It could take them...several months at most to reach the next system."
He faced her, sadness etched in the lines of his face. "I'm sure the details are in your report. Look, Shepard, the batarians are going to want blood. There's just enough evidence for a witch hunt, and we don't want war with the batarians. Not with the reapers at the galaxy's edge." If they were at war with each other, neither side would get support from the other races, and such division during an invasion would be fatal.
Shepard reached out to steady herself on the bed behind her, her brow creasing. "What are you saying?"
"You did what you did with the best of intentions, but there were more than three hundred thousand batarians in that system. All dead."
"They died to save trillions of lives. If I could have saved them, you bet your ass I would have."
"You're preaching to the choir, Commander. If it were up to me, I'd give you a damn medal. Unfortunately, not everyone will see it that way."
Shepard turned and began pacing, her mind reeling. "So what do you suggest?"
"Evidence against you is shoddy at best, but at some point you'll have to return to Earth to face the music. I can't stop it, but I can, and will, make them fight for it."
She kept pacing, nodding. She hadn't expected that she could just wipe a system off the map and walk away, but she hadn't considered on this outcome. All the same, it did provide a measure of comfort. Whatever the circumstances, she would be back under Alliance authority and would have protection against any batarians who might want to seek revenge against her personally. Those realizations helped take the sting out of the fact that she was in this position because she had done Hackett a favor, and was going to take the heat for it. If I hadn't done Hackett this favor, we'd be up to our asses in reapers right now.
There was only one thing she could do. "Okay. I'll turn myself in and stand trial when this is over. If I survive."
"Glad to see that working with Cerberus hasn't stripped you of your sense of honor." Hackett gave her a quick nod, his mouth twitching into a sympathetic smile. "Do whatever you need to do out here, and do your best to come back alive. And when Earth calls, be sure you're ready, in your best blues. Ready to take the hit."
He turned to her and handed the datapad back. "Here. I don't need to read your report to know you did the right thing, Commander."
"Yes, sir." She saluted him as he left the room.
Shepard's legs felt weak and she dropped into a nearby chair, tears flowing freely now. Choking back sobs, she buried her face in her hands and tied to control her breathing. Doctor Chakwas slipped back into the lab and took Shepard's hand, pulling her to her feet.
"Come, Commander. You should rest." Departing from her professional role, Chakwas gave Shepard a quick hug, steering her back toward a bed. "Don't worry, dear, you'll get through this."
The doctor was right, Shepard had gotten through some tough situations in her career, but the reassurance fell flat. The Alliance agreed to overlook her mutinous actions in light of the fact that it became clear she had saved countless lives as a result. Now, however, there was no readily available proof. Not until the reapers arrive, Shepard thought with despair as she succumbed to the sedative the doctor administered.
A/N: Quite a bit of the dialogue during the flashbacks and conversation with Hackett is taken from the Arrival DLC, but I hope I've presented the content in a different and interesting manner. Because I played ME3 'blind', not looking into the back story at all, I didn't have any context as to why Shepard was in the situation she was in or why the batarians were such assholes later on, lol. I wanted to get this in here as it does set the stage for upcoming events and provides some angst.
Thank you to all who have read/reviewed/listed/, and to my gal pals Zute and Zevgirl. Please read and review! Cheers, Biff