Epilogue III

The night was cold in the Blue Mountains. Their home was a simple one, with bare walls and a quilted bed. A small wooden table sat in the corner in case they received company, but it was rare to have visitors, especially since both of them were seldom at home. Since their arrival in the lands of the west, Thorin had set to work on making a settlement for their people, creating homes and establishing jobs. He found that helping his people was a good distraction from the woes that had been facing him of late.

Balin had enquired on whether or not to build a large hall for the king and his kin to dwell, but Thorin was annoyed by the thought. His people needed homes, food and work. Why waste timber on a large hall if only to make himself comfortable? A compromise was eventually reached, and a smaller hall was built, mainly for meetings and gatherings, and perhaps in the future, a party or two.

His cousin Gloin set to work on mining projects, and Dori set up trade with neighboring villages. A hospital had been built, and a small militia had been trained as well. The homes of his people were small and frail, and the past three winters had been bitter, but at least his people had full bellies, if only barely.

Long had been his journey through the misty mountains with Dwalin, seeking his father Thrain. Not a trace was found, and Thorin's resolve was beginning to wear, yet he could not give up yet. His father was still out there- probably wondering when his son would show up to save him from his troubles, and Thorin was determined not to let him down.

His eyes shifted from left to right as he walked through the streets of Ered Luin. He no longer trusted the darker places, or the quiet corners. His breath came out in white clouds before him, the tips of his fingers had lost feeling long ago. But Thorin couldn't bring himself to care; his mind was far too occupied by other things.

When he reached the doorstep to his small home, he could see an orange haze from the window, the shadow of a fire in the hearth flickering at the outer edges of the wall. Pushing open the door and stepping inside, he was immediately overcome with the change in temperature. The dry cold he had been in was gone, replaced by a familiar warmth.

Hana lay curled in their bed, long hair fanned out around her and the quilts hiked up over her shoulders, she was fast asleep.

"Uncle!" a small voice erupted from near the hearth, and Thorin turned to see his nephews resting on the floor near the fire, surrounded by a better portion of the blankets they owned. Kili was asleep, snoring loudly and his hair falling over his hairless chin. Had it already been fifteen years- he wondered?

Fili sat up; closing the book he had been browsing. "You're back!" he said in a loud whisper, and Thorin nodded, removing his shoes and placing them near the door and draping his cloak over the back of one of their dining chairs.

Often his nephews stayed with them. Dis was now a single mother after all, and she needed breaks from raising her two children on her own. Thorin and Hana always accepted their requests to stay over, delighting in the presence of children- something they had not yet been gifted with.

Thorin winced at the thought- and pushed it aside. Now was not the time to worry about things he could not change.

"How are you and your brother?" He enquired, going to ruffle the hair of his elder nephew. "How is your mother?"

"Alright." said Fili quietly, and Thorin raised an eyebrow. "Just, 'Alright'?"

Fili looked down at his book for a moment. "She misses Father."

Thorin bit his lip. He remembered the days following the battle, how Dis blocked herself from the outside world for weeks and he was forced to console his nephews, who were far too young to understand what death meant, or why their father wasn't coming home.

"You were supposed to be home days ago." said Fili, "Hana has been staying up late for you."

He glanced at the sleeping form of his wife. "I am sorry," he said, "There's some things happening of late that require more attention than I am used to giving."

"I know," his nephew said quietly. "Hana told me you're busy right now, and that's why we don't really see you."

Thorin sighed, taking off his muddied tunic and setting it by his boots to be washed later. "Go to sleep, Fili." He said softly but firmly, and his nephew complied, turning over and resting his head on his arm for comfort.

Climbing into bed as smoothly as he could, Thorin stretched his tired muscles and let himself settle in the welcoming comfort of the warm quilts. Hana was turned away from him, her torso rising and falling as she breathed. He sighed, letting his dirtied fingers thread through her gold strands of hair. This was not the life he had imagined for them, for her. It was not the life he'd hoped for his nephews or his sister or his people. But there was little he could do to change that.

And so, with a restless mind, Thorin fell asleep.

/

Hana sat quietly at the table, looking out the window and into the busy streets outside of their little home. It was market day, and dwarves and men alike wandered the streets to trade goods amongst each other. Under normal circumstances, she'd likely be spending the day selling toys with Bofur, or perhaps going to political meeting with Thorin (although the later she found quite dreadful). But today was no normal circumstance.

The previous night Thorin had returned from a trip to the forests surrounding Bree, investigating a rumor that his father was seen wandering amongst the old trees there. Yet instead of having a quiet evening as they usually did when he returned, Thorin immediately told her to put on shoes, and then they made their way through the city and to the home of Balin. It was late at night when they had arrived, and the old dwarf was not entirely pleased with their sudden visit. But he remained quiet to listen to what Thorin had to say.

"Have you heard of a wizard who goes by the name of Gandalf?" he asked as they sat at the table, and Hana perked up.

"I actually think I've met him," she said a bit hesitantly. And in order to answer Thorin's questioning look: "It was years and years ago, in the first few months that I knew you. Do you remember when we were separated at the river and I'd nearly drowned?"

Thorin nodded slowly, and it occurred to Hana for the first time how long they had actually spent together. Nearly ninety years had passed since the trading expedition that altered the course of their people's future, nearly ninety years since Smaug, and she still had nightmares.

"Well, he saved me." She said, and after a moment, "Did you meet him?"

"Yes," said Thorin, "He spoke with me and asked me if… well told me that I should…"

"What?" Balin enquired, and Thorin looked up at his friend from across the table.

"Balin, Hana, I want to take back Erebor."

And that was what led them to the current predicament, Hana sitting at the table and fumbling with the hem of her robe, mind wandering as she waited for Thorin to return from the meeting at the hall. She had been invited of course, but had been having trouble in her leg of late, and the trip to Balin's home the previous night had caused her great strain, and it was all she could do not cry out when she stood. Ninety years had passed, and it seemed as if the muscles in her leg would never heal.

The hinges creaked as Thorin opened the door and stepped in, his wrinkled eyes offering her a soft look.

"What have they decided?" she asked, trying to stand, but Thorin was soon there resting a hand on her shoulder to still her, and taking the seat in front of her.

It was a long moment before he spoke, finally letting out a deep sigh as he rubbed his eyes. "I have acquired twelve dwarves to join me, and hopefully Dain of the Iron Hills will come to our aid as well."

"Which dwarves?" she asked.

"Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Dori and his brothers Nori and Ori, as well as… Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur." He cleared his throat and Hana pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth. So her brothers and cousin had indeed volunteered like she expected them to?

"And what of the last two?" she asked softly, and Thorin stare at her with his dark grey eyes for the longest moment. The words that left his mouth next were rushed, almost as if he hoped she wouldn't catch them.

"Fili and Kili."

Hana felt his hands envelope her own, resting on her knee. Their nephews were to join? But they were both so young- barely old enough to join the militia. The thought of them facing up against the dragon made her stomach churn and her hands shake.

"And… what has Dis to say?"

"Kili will be telling her." said Thorin. "I… I did not ask them to come- Hana. They volunteered, and being some of our best fighters, they would be an asset to us."

Hana nodded stiffly, looking over Thorin's shoulder and out the window, trying to push down the burning feeling in her chest.

"…You are angry with me?"

She did not respond.

"Hana…" he started, "If you asked me to, I'd remain here."

She then looked up into his eyes, and the sincerity and tenderness in them made her façade of strength dissolve in an instant.

"Thorin," she whispered hoarsely. "I will always support you in all that you do. You will always be my king and my husband."

"But?" he asked, leaning down to meet her gaze.

"But this quest makes me feel ill." she began. "It makes my head hurt and my hands shake. Something just isn't right about all of this."

"I know you are afraid, this is an entirely absurd thing to do." responded Thorin, "But Smaug has not been seen since the day he attacked, and if we do not act now, others could take the home which was ours. This is our one chance to go back to the way things were, to how our lives should have been."

"But Thorin, I am happy here." Hana protested, "I am happy with our little home and our little city. I am happy living a quiet, dull life with you."

His hand came up to touch her cheek, the callouses on his skin scratching against it softly. "And your happiness is what I desire. But I cannot let this chance pass by me, not when I have the ability to return our people to their former glory."

Hana nodded gingerly, and he heaved a deep sigh. "If it is what you ask, I will stay."

"No," she said quietly. "I will not ask you to stay. If this is what you desire I will support it with all of the will in me."

She felt the cool skin of his forehead press against her own, and she let out a quiet breath she didn't know she was holding. Why did everything feel so- off?

"Thank you," he said softly.

"I only wish that I could come as well," she muttered, "I want to protect you… and Fili and Kili and Bofur and Bombur and Bifur… but this damned leg…"

"I know." he responded, and the fell into a silence, because words alone could not express the emotions transitioned between the two then. They had endured ninety years of hardship, had seen people die quietly and people die screaming. They had faced dragon fire and starvation. Through his career as the leader of the people and his career as a brother, uncle and husband she had been with him. She could not bear him children, but she could support him, and that's all that he ever asked.

"When will you be leaving?" she whispered.

"Sometime next week."

"Ah…"

"It will be strange," he said, pulling back to look at her in the eyes. "to be away from you for more than just a few weeks, strange to not have any council meetings or attend the spring festival."

"Are you sure you aren't just leaving to escape that accursed political career of yours?" she asked jokingly, and he gave a soft chuckle.

He offered her a hand up, which she took with no small amount of wincing. When she was balanced he drew her near to her chest, wrapping his arms around her and resting his jaw against her head.

"I love you," he said, almost too softly for her to hear. Hana could not help but smile at that- seldom did he offer her such words; he was far too busy of late to speak to her as he did in their younger years.

"Come back to me." She ordered more than requested, and he let out a breath.

"If it's the last thing I do."

/

For the first time in many years, Kili remained quiet for over a few hours. Something- nerves, excitement, or both, was keeping his words away; so much so that Fili was starting to grow worried.

"Cheer up brother." He said, "It's the adventure that we've always wanted."

Kili nodded, pulling his bag further up on his shoulder as they made their way to the gates of Ered Luin. They had already exchanged goodbyes with their tearful mother, but the thought that they were finally leaving was still processing in his young mind. He had never traveled more than a few miles from the borders of their land. What could possibly be out there?

At the gate, Hana was there to wave them off. Not only was she Thorin's wife and a symbol to the people of Ered Luin, but she had also become a good friend to many of the dwarves she met, and was something like a second mother to him.

Nori, Bombur and Dwalin were joking around, and most of the dwarves seemed to be in good spirits about the quest. He watched as Hana gave out her last goodbyes to her brothers Bofur and Bombur, as well as her cousin Bifur, sharing a smile and good natured joke with each one as Thorin watched from a bit of a distance, his mouth set in a firm line. She then moved to her nephews, and putting a hand on each of their shoulders said, "I fear that you have both grown too quickly for my tastes. I still remember when Fili braided my hair and Kili asked me to make him a doll."

They shared a good natured laugh, and Hana continued. "Now you stay out of trouble- Mahal forbid your mother takes her wrath out on Thorin if something should happen- or even worse, me."

Fili and Kili smiled this time, not quite laughing. It could be many years before they saw her again.

"You are strong beyond measure, Fili, and I'm very proud of the dwarf you've become." she said, moving to give the older of the two an embrace. "Be brave and look after yourself, as well as your brother."

"I will," he said softly, and Kili bit his lip. It was like saying goodbye to their mother all over again, and it was not a pleasant thing to do.

"And as for you," she said, moving to the younger one to give him a hug as well. "Follow your heart and your wit; I know there is someone out there who needs your influence."

Kili nodded, and Hana stepped back, sighing. "Watch after your uncle, he can be very stubborn at his best times. Do write if you get the chance."

They watched as she moved away from them and to Thorin, the last person she wished to say goodbye too.

"Remember to always wear dry stockings," she said, "Always clean your scrapes and always drink your soup warm."

Thorin gave her a little smile. "Anything else?"

"Remember who you are," she said, fixing up the collar of his tunic. "You are Thorin Oakenshield, the bravest and wisest dwarf I know. Do not let doubt enter your heart; there are great things that lie ahead of you."

"Ahead of us." He corrected, and she let her lips tug up in a watery grin. "Ahead of us," she agreed.

The assembly of thirteen dwarves went quiet, waiting for Thorin's first command.

"We move south," he said, "Gandalf says that there is yet a fourteenth member of our company, a burglar who will be a great asset to this quest."

Thorin then turned back to her, and with a swift yet languid motion he kissed her, not caring about what the others would think.

"I will return to you." He promised, and then pulled away. Their eyes lingered in each other's for a moment before he turned and raised his hand to motion for the company to begin moving. As they began their trek he did nott look back, because he knew that the second he did his resolve would fail him, and he'd made a promise, to her and the rest of his people.

Hana watched them walk away, and fought the urge to run out to him and beg him to stay. Thorin knew what he was doing.

He did.

/

Bilbo Baggins sat with his back against the cold stone of the watch tower of Dale, still shaking at the memory of the battle he'd just witnessed, at the death and destruction a hoard of gold had caused. He shuddered, pulling his knees up to his chest. They had taken Thorin's body away to be prepared for burial hours ago. He could still see the tears streaming down Balin's face and the shaking in Dwalin's shoulders. He could still hear the deep voice of the King echoing in his head, cracked and weak as he choked on blood trying to get the words out.

"Go back to your books… your fireplace…plant your trees… watch them grow… if more of us valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world."

The tears had stopped falling long ago; he'd nearly exhausted himself from the amount of crying he'd done. Under normal circumstances he'd be ashamed of it, but today he wasn't. Today he wasn't ashamed of anything, only that he hadn't come sooner.

There always seemed to be something, quick thinking, or a stroke of luck or random event that saved them at the last second. But today that did not happen. There wasn't a single "despite the odds" event that occurred. Fili, Kili, and Thorin were dead. Thirty months of hardship and toil, and just like that they were gone, disappeared from the world like a crumb swept off of the table. It was still surreal for him. His friends were… they were…

"Hello," he heard a voice pipe up from beside him, and he looked up to see an unfamiliar woman standing above him. Her long, wavy blonde hair was streaked with grey and her face was fair, albeit a little strained.

"Uh- hello." He said awkwardly, and then motioned to the spot next to him. "Care to take a sit?" he asked, more out of obligatory politeness than out of desire for company.

"I daresay I do." She said, wincing as she moved down next to him. "I presume you are Bilbo?"

"Why- yes," he said, confused. "How did you know that?"

"My name is Hana, daughter of Hasl." She said, "I pray they must have told you something about me."

"I-" he started, immediately preparing to say no, but then he stopped. "Balin, er- told me that Thorin had a wife named Hana, and she stayed back in the Blue Mountains to look after the dwarves there. He um, well he told me that she had gotten into an accident some years past and had…well..." he cleared his throat. "Well yes, and Bofur also described his sister Hana as being that same person."

The dwarf woman next to him nodded, blue eyes looking at the darkened sky above them. "It's good to know that at least someone remembered me in this madness. I left Ered Luin not six months ago by request of Thorin to meet him at Erebor. He had written me right after a run in with goblins. I assume much has changed since then."

"Yes." Bilbo said, looking at his hairy feet, he wasn't sure if she knew what had become of her husband and nephews yet, nor if he should tell her.

"Dragon sickness?" her voice was much quieter this time, as if she were a child whispering at night so as to not get caught awake by parents. Bilbo nodded and she sighed. "How bad did it get?"

Bilbo opened his mouth and then closed it. "It doesn't matter you know," he said, "Thorin overcame it in the end."

He nearly clamped his hand over his mouth as the last three words slipped out, but Hana didn't even flinch. She only looked over to him, eyes wistful. "He did?"

"Yes," Bilbo said slowly, "He came back to us; right when I thought hope had been lost he came back to us."

He saw a tear fall from her eye, and not knowing what to do to comfort her, continued. "He fought so bravely, him and Fili and Kili. You should've seen him; he was so passionate and so strong."

She let out a dry laugh as more tears began to fall. "I have no doubt about it." She said with a small smile, but after a moment her voice dropped an octave. "Did he suffer?"

Bilbo shook his head, memories of strained apologies escaping through bloodied lips flooding back to him. A small noise escaped his throat at the thought.

"No, not for long." He said, "I came to him and… and he spoke to me. I could see in his eyes Hana… he had come to terms with it. This world could bring him no more pain than it already had."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw her begin to shake. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Sorry, I just…" Bilbo turned to see her hand come up to cover quivering lips, her eyes shut tight in an effort to hold back the tears. "He promised he'd come back to me." She whimpered. "He, Fili and Kili were all supposed to return to me. We were all supposed to live together happily. It wasn't supposed to end this way."

Bilbo bit the inside of his cheek. "I know," he said, putting a consoling hand on her shoulder as he watched her world crumble. "I know."

/

"Good morning." Hana said, going to her bag and pulling out some of the toys she'd been tinkering with that week. "Sorry I haven't been able to visit lately, you have no idea how much trouble Dain Ironfoot will go to in order to ensure the celebration will have ale."

She ran a hand through her hair, letting the other one trail over the edge of the sealed coffin that bore Fili's name. She set the miniature rocking horse on the ground by the foot of it, and then moved to Kili. "Has it been a year already? It feels like just yesterday I was arriving to Dale in the midst of a huge battle. He plans to do this every year you know, an anniversary party."

She set a red painted top at the foot of Kili's coffin. "I'm not sure why he wants to have a party for all of this. I suppose to celebrate the living, however few those may be." Thorin was next, she moved to his coffin and sat with her back against it, letting her head hit against the cool stone.

"Do you remember that day that you tried to play swords with me in the hall- Fili? And do you remember when Kili was born? Do you remember when we were married, Thorin? Do you remember the nights we spent by the fire, reading books to these boys?" she cleared her throat.

"Dis misses all of you dearly, and so does Balin. Dwalin does too, although he doesn't admit it anymore. He's is almost as stubborn as you three."

"Let's see… news? Bilbo just wrote Balin, he recently adopted younger cousin whose parents were killed in a boating accident. Things seem to be settling in Bag End and he has finally found the last of his spoons. He plans to pass the Mithril armor and his sword down to future generations, and plans to record his adventure with you the moment he has time. He says he misses the company terribly, even if they were ill mannered and loud."

She breathed softly. "What else? Kenaii and Bofur had their second child yesterday; she has beautiful red hair like her mother, and the mischievous eyes of her father. She reminds me of Kili when he was a babe."

Hana fiddled with her last creation, a raven carved out of driftwood, and painted blue and grey out of memory of his eyes.

"Did I ever tell you Kili? I knew Tauriel's father. He was a good friend, even for an elf. I met Tauriel not long ago, and I can see why you liked her. She has spirit that I can't see in the rest of her kin…." Hana looked at her scarred hands. "She didn't look to good, Kili. Something in her eyes was off. Her skin was ashen and her body seemed to shake in frailty. Elves can die of a broken heart you know- you really did cause her a lot of grief, I daresay as much as you caused me."

She grew quiet, as if waiting for a response.

"You all caused me a lot of grief."

A tear fell, and then two. She thought that after so many visits she'd be able to make it through one without shedding tears, but it seemed not so.

"I took a walk the other night," she said firmly, in an effort to calm herself. "The moon was large and bright, and it made me think of you three. Kili's smile and Fili's eyes mostly, they were always quite nice."

"Anyways, on my walk I was imagining the future we could have had, I was imagining training Fili for the throne and trying to convince Kili to not fall for an elf maiden, as I'm sure we would've done. I'm sure that we would've gone back to Ered Luin a few times, or wandered the ruins of Dale. We were going to grow old together you know- Thorin. You and I were supposed to become grumpy and fat, and argue over little things and go to sleep before the sun even set. We were supposed to have children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. There were so many things…"

She got to her feet, and tenderly she set the little raven on the ground near the coffin, amidst the many other toys she had brought to him.

Hana moved to the staircase that led back to Erebor, but stopped in her tracks and turned. "I just wanted to make one thing clear, Thorin." She said, "I want you to know that… to understand that…" she cleared her throat. "I was never disappointed in you. I loved you for yourself and I'm proud of every last one of your actions. Every last…" her voice cracked and trailed off.

After all, they couldn't hear her. They never could and they never would. They weren't there, they were lost long ago.

"Same time next week," she asserted suddenly, more to herself than to her conversation "partners".

She wasn't sure why she did it, visited their graves and talked to herself. Perhaps she was finally going insane, or perhaps she just needed someone to speak to, and not just as a friend or a companion.

Because after all, maybe they could hear her.

/

So the Battle of the Five Armies ripped my heart out and dipped it in acid… seriously. I hope this ties up a lot of loose forya, I'm thinking I'll write one more epilogue if only to give it a little bit of a happier ending, (because BotFA was painful enough) Please tell me what you think! And I'm sorry for anyone who isn't fond of the whole Tauriel/ Kili thing. As a Tolkien fan I'm not either, but as a film student I think it's incredibly well written on Jackson's part.

Have a merry Christmas everyone!

-Infinityscripts

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