When Pain Doesn't Hurt Chapter 36
I don't own the main characters…
Elliot stared at a spot on the wall as he listened to Olivia's quiet peaceful breathing. He figured she was exhausted to be able to sleep that sound in such a bad position. He tried to put the time line together as to what day it was, but was only frustrating himself. He tried to remember what exactly happened, and that was frustrating him as well. He remembered entering the Tap and scanning the bar for Olivia and Fin. He remembered looking to his left and seeing Richard Gomes. And he remembered feeling his stomach turn right before all hell broke loose. Richard Gomes was there to get his revenge on Olivia, but he didn't remember seeing her. He looked down at her, almost to reassure himself that she was okay; that Gomes didn't hurt her. He fixed his gaze back on the spot on the wall and forced himself to try and remember more.
He remembered hearing Olivia's voice and he remembered feeling searing pain in his abdomen. He remembered hearing gunshot after gunshot and trying like hell to move. He remembered hearing Olivia talking to him; she was so close to him. Then she was gone. He couldn't hear anything after her voice went silent. He begged his body to move. He had to find her, to help her against Gomes. She had dealt with him enough on her own, now he had had enough. He would put an end to this asshole; if only he could move.
"Olivia!" Elliot's sharp voice made him jump and startled Olivia awake.
"El, I'm here. I'm right here." Olivia quickly got to her feet and moved into his line of vision.
His eyes were wide as he looked into hers. "You're okay?" his eyes traveled her body.
"Yes." Olivia reached over and hit the nurse's call button. "I'm fine, El." Olivia couldn't help the tears that welled up again.
"Gomes?" Elliot's eyes were busy as he frantically tried to put the pieces together.
"He's dead. John shot him." Olivia watched his eyes dance along the wall as he spoke. She gently placed her hand on his cheek, drawing his gaze back to her. "Okay, El?"
He stared into her eyes trying to relay to her how scared he was for her, even though he was in a tremendous amount of pain. A group of nurses and doctors entered the room and quickly converged on Elliot.
"Ma'am, you'll have to leave while we examine Mr. Stabler." one of the young doctors abruptly announced to Olivia.
"It's Detective Stabler and I'm not leaving my partner." there was no way she was going to leave him now. She pushed past the medical team and grasped Elliot's hand.
"It's okay, Liv." Elliot's eyes were closed but he squeezed her hand. A young nurse gently grabbed her arm and led her away from the bed. Olivia thought about fighting her off, but then thought better of it. Elliot said to go and she knew the doctors needed to check him out now that he was awake.
She found herself out into the bright hallway and wandered down to the now empty waiting room. She stretched and tried to work the kinks out of her back muscles. Her legs barely held her up; she was so exhausted. She didn't feel anything but relief as she let herself smile for the first time since all hell broke loose. Elliot had woken up. She allowed her body to sink into the chair and let her eyes close.
"I heard he's awake." Olivia opened her eyes to see Casey with two cups of coffee. "Thought you could use this."
"He just woke up. A bit disoriented, but they're checking him out now." Olivia reached for the coffee as Casey took a seat next to her friend.
"I've got to head out, got court this morning. Just wanted to check on you." Casey rubbed Olivia's shoulders for her.
"Thanks." Olivia let out a long sigh. "Where's John?" Olivia looked at her watch surprised to see it was after eight in the morning.
"Cragen made him go home to get some rest. He's probably going to order you to do the same."
"Yeah, probably." Olivia said as she stood to stretch. "I'm not leaving him; not yet."
"Cragen has fended off the suits all night from questioning you. I doubt he'll have much luck this morning." Casey spoke as she carefully watched Olivia's expression. "Anything I need to know?"
"What do you mean? There won't be a trial unless any of them survived." Olivia eyes locked on Casey's.
"No, none of the gunman survived, including Gomes. There were five other casualties." Casey wasn't sure how much information Olivia knew or remembered from the night before. "Detective Gomes was a member of the NYPD, so we have to anticipate lawsuits and whatnot."
"Gomes was fired and was no longer a member of the force." Olivia instantly became agitated.
Casey was sorry she brought any of this up. "Liv, calm down. It'll be okay, I'll take care of any of that."
Olivia rubbed her temples with her fingers. Her head was pounding just thinking about the extent Gomes was willing to go to try to kill her. Including shooting Elliot.
"Cragen called Kathy this morning. I'm sure she'll be here soon." Casey felt it necessary to warn her friend that her lover's ex-wife was to be expected.
Olivia continued to rub her forehead as if that would stop the headache from progressing. "Of course, she is the mother of his children."
"And his ex-wife." Casey was forcing Olivia to accept what very well may be coming her way.
"She has blamed me every time something went wrong with her and Elliot. She gets pissed at me every time he gets hurt. Why would this time be any different, except for this time it was my fault." Olivia refused to open her eyes.
"The blame falls on Gomes for all of this. I know it's pointless to point that out to you, but it's true." Casey squeezed her friend's shoulder before standing to leave. "Maybe you do go home and get a shower and some rest. Avoid her."
Olivia glared at Casey prompting the smart lawyer to make a quick departure. "I'll check on you later."
Olivia relaxed back into the chair and replayed the events of the previous night in her head. She made herself jump as she recalled the sound of the gunshot going off behind her head. She quickly got to her feet and paced until her heart slowed down. The doctors had enough time, she was going back in whether they liked it or not.
Elliot was resting when she let herself back into his room. The doctors had given him something for the pain which caused drowsiness and Elliot welcomed the distraction from his own thinking. He heard her voice, but was finding it impossible to keep his eyes open. He felt her pull up the chair close to the bed and reach for his hand. She didn't push him to talk, or even acknowledge her. She just sat with him while he drifted in and out of consciousness until he gave in completely.
Olivia thought about taking Casey's advice and going home for a shower. She knew it would help her feel better, but she would never forgive herself if something happened and she wasn't here for Elliot. Olivia checked her watch realizing that it wouldn't be long before she would be forced to go over every detail from the night previous. She stood and looked out the window at the morning view of the city. It had seemed so long ago that she was excited about actually have a good, productive day. How she let herself be talked into celebrating out with the guys instead of going home to a quiet night with Elliot. Her mind felt like it was in over drive as the cop in her functioned without her permission. How did Gomes know they would be there at that particular bar? How could he know unless he followed them and even then, how would he know to have his boys in place?
Olivia was pulled from her thoughts by a quiet knock on the door. She watched it open revealing Elliot's ex-wife. The two woman locked gazes, neither speaking. Kathy made her way to Elliot's bedside, where she gently stroked his face and spoke softly to him. Olivia decided she needed to give them some time, she was his ex-wife, she reminded herself. She decided more coffee was in order and headed down to the cafeteria. She was immediately greeted by Elliot's oldest daughter who was getting coffee as well.
"We heard it was terrible…last night." Maureen searched Olivia's face for what she might tell her without saying.
"It was." Olivia sighed not wanting to have this conversation period, let alone with one of Elliot's children. Maureen stared at Olivia in silence. Olivia knew the young woman needed to talk, she wanted some answers. "Want to sit for a while?"
Maureen nodded and joined Olivia at a small table towards the back of the cafeteria. Once seated Olivia waited for Maureen to ask the questions and decided she would answer only what she asked.
"You look tired. Probably been up all night, huh?" Okay, that wasn't the kind of question Olivia was bracing for. She nodded taking a sip of her coffee.
Maureen tried again. "Is he going to be okay?"
"It was really scary last night, but he was awake for a little bit this morning." Olivia answered truthfully knowing that his children trusted her.
"It's all over the news. They are saying that the shooter was a former detective. Did my dad know him?"
Olivia rubbed her forehead again as she stalled. "Yes, your dad knew him. He was assigned as my partner after they split your dad and I up."
"Why would he shoot him. Was it an accident?" Maureen was fighting tears trying to be brave for her father.
"No, it wasn't an accident. Wrong place at the wrong time." Olivia caught a glimpse of Cragen at the entrance of the cafeteria. "Listen, sweetie. I need to go and talk to my boss. Go see your dad. He's probably sleeping, but I'm sure he'll know you're there."
"Okay." Maureen stood when Olivia did. She grabbed a hold of her and hugged her tight. "I'm glad you're okay, Liv."
Olivia just held Elliot's child until Maureen was ready to let go.
She forced a smile and walked with her until they met up with Cragen. He acknowledged Maureen and waited until she had gone down the hall toward the elevators before speaking to Olivia.
"Kathy's in with him, I assume."
Olivia nodded as she watched Maureen disappear from sight.
"Would I be wasting my breath if I ordered you to go home, get some rest?"
"Yes you would. I can't leave now, Cap. He woke up for a while earlier; I need to be here."
Cragen let out a long sigh and scratched his forehead. "I figured. IAB will want a full statement from you as soon as possible. Are you ready?"
"No, but I'd rather get it over with." Olivia wanted to see Fin and let him know how Elliot was doing. "How is Fin?"
"He's…Fin." Cragen smiled. "It looks like he'll be okay. Bullet missed anything important."
Olivia let herself smile at the news of her close friend. "I'd like to see him for a while before I get interrogated."
"Of course. I'll let IAB know we'll meet with them in two hours at the house. I will let John know. I want him there as well." Cragen turned and left Olivia standing alone outside the cafeteria. He was going to make her leave the hospital anyway. Damn!
Olivia entered Fin's room expecting to see him at least resting. He was sitting up and eating breakfast watcing T.V. He tried to get her to eat with him, but her stomach wouldn't handle food. She was running on pure nerves and caffeine. The morning news was covering the story and Olivia slowly dropped into the chair by Fin's bed with her eyes glued to the television. Her picture and John's flashed on the screen, followed by Elliot's and Fin's. Gomes' official police photo was shown as the anchor announced him as the former NYPD detective killed by friendly fire.
Olivia looked to Fin who had what she assumed was the same disbelieving look on his face as she had on hers. "Friendly fire my ass." Fin spoke for the both of them. She turned back to watch the rest of the story and then sat in silence once they moved on to other news.
"Why aren't you in with Elliot?" Fin's voice echoed in her head.
"Kathy's in with him now." Olivia answered without moving her eyes from the television. Fin knew she wasn't paying attention to whatever was on, she was just too tired to look away.
"Liv, you really need to get some rest. You're no good to him if you can't function."
Olivia turned to look at Fin and slowly shook her head. "I'm glad you're okay." She stood and leaned in to hug him. Fin watched her leave his room knowing she wasn't going home.
She headed back to Elliot's room, relieved to see Kathy had left. Elliot's eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling. "El?"
"Where were you?" Elliot's tone was angry.
"I wanted to give you some time with Kathy. Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not okay. Why did you leave?" Elliot's eyes stayed glued to the ceiling.
Olivia didn't like the way he was speaking to her, but figured he was probably in a lot of pain. She reached for his hand only for him to pull away. "El, what's wrong? Are you in pain? Did you want me to get the nurse?"
Elliot continued to stare at the ceiling. "Why did you leave?" he asked her again, his voice short and strained.
"El, I wanted to give you some time with Kathy. I just went for some coffee." Olivia was confused, but kept telling herself he wasn't himself. She watched his face carefully, reading him used to be second nature to her. A single tear escaped and slid down his face. She wanted to take his hand but wasn't sure if he wanted her to touch him.
"I couldn't find you…in the bar. Where were you?" Elliot still refused to look at his former partner.
"El, I was there. I didn't see you come in." Olivia knew he was trying to put everything into perspective, but his tone was unnerving at best.
"Gomes was in the bar." Elliot closed his eyes as he groaned in pain. "He lost it. He was going to kill you, Liv."
Olivia hated seeing him in so much pain. She called for the nurse. "El, it's okay. It's over."
"No. He was a fucking cop, Liv." Elliot was getting upset causing himself more pain. "He was your partner. How could he do this?"
Olivia grabbed Elliot by the shoulders to calm him. She looked him in the eyes. "El, please. Calm down."
Elliot grabbed Olivia's arms squeezing with all his strength. Olivia was surprised that he had any strength at all, let alone enough to cause her to wince in pain.
"I'm going to kill him" Elliot looked Olivia in the eyes.
Olivia was thankful to see the nurse as she attempted to pull herself away from Elliot. "Don't leave me again." Elliot's voice was now weak and vulnerable.
Olivia nodded her head, not trusting her voice. She stayed with him until he was once again out. She had to get to the precinct to meet with IAB. She wanted to call Cragen and tell him there was no way she could leave him now; she promised him. He would understand why she left, he knew all the procedures that go with a cop involved shooting. She was nervous, confused and worried. She had never heard Elliot sound so scared. Something was wrong, she could feel it. Something other than the obvious.