Harkin was a weasel, and Shepard almost let Garrus shoot him. But, of course, she had an obligation to not let her crew go around shooting unarmed prisoners as they seemed so wont to do, and so she stopped him. True to his word, the Blue Suns mercs had slinked away when they saw them coming, and only a handful of legionnaires and YMIR mechs had stuck around to commit 'suicide by Zeus,' as Ethan had called it.
She still didn't like the idea of Garrus gunning for Sidonis' blood. He was quite literally skipping several key steps in the judicial process, but she didn't really have any right to talk him out of it. Alex had a point—she never expected to say those words in the same sentence—about the slavers on Mindoir. If she met the batarians responsible, she'd probably execute them on the spot without even waiting for them to speak first.
She knew what that sort of anger felt like. She just hadn't expected her most level-headed turian crewmember to be the one that finally succumbed to it. Jack she could understand. Jacob's anger against his father she could understand. Miranda's rebellion against her father she could understand. But Garrus had been so idealistic during the fight against Saren… it was if his time as Archangel had completely changed how he looked at life.
And, in a way, it really was Sidonis' fault that Garrus had turned out this way. And so Shepard bit her tongue and cut off what she'd wanted to say before she said it, choosing to remain silent on the shuttle ride to where Sidonis would be waiting. Alex was being eerily silent, unnervingly so, and she kept one eye on him as they flew in relative quiet. He was still wearing his 'Zeus' disguise, and she had to admit it had been rather fortuitous that he had chosen to do so. Every second she had to spend fighting Blue Suns was another second that her crew was in danger of… whatever it was the Collectors did to their colonists. Having them back off like that had been a big time saver, and if there was one thing Shepard did not have a lot of, it was time.
She listened uneasily as Garrus outlined his plan.
It was a strangely Alex-esque plan. 'You distract the target while I shoot it in the head.' Maybe her viral crewmember was beginning to rub off on her favorite former C-Sec officer. She wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing or not.
Alex walked with her into the lobby as Garrus set up in the rafters, glancing at her out of the corner of his green eyes. "I can talk to him, if you like," he murmured, looking around inconspicuously. If she didn't know who he was, and what he could do, he could have been just a normal kid out for a walk on the Citadel.
A kid with heavy armor and a black sniper rifle, but a kid nonetheless.
Shepard knew what he was really saying. He'd take the blame for Sidonis' death if Shepard didn't want it. But she had to do this. She'd do it for Garrus, because she trusted him. She didn't agree, but she understood. "Thanks, but I got this."
Alex eyed her and a small smirk flitted across his face before it was gone. It had looked approving. Somehow getting Alex Mercer's approval wasn't reassuring in the slightest.
He stepped to the side to study an Avina terminal while Shepard motioned Sidonis over, her conscious nagging at her.
'You're about to get this turian killed,' it said. 'He's unarmed. No chance to defend himself. No chance for redemption.'
He lost his chance when he betrayed Garrus.
Shepard put on her most charming, reassuring smile and listened to Garrus as he got her into position. Sidonis never suspected a thing. He trusted her, because he trusted Fade and Fade had sent her here. Shepard had killed countless men in combat, but this felt like something else.
This didn't feel like self-defense, or duty. It felt like murder. Shepard took a breath and made a decision. She'd give him a chance.
Turn around, walk away.
Garrus whispered in her ear and she stepped aside, moving wide, obvious, making it clear that she was getting out of line of sight of a scope. She saw the comprehension in the turian's eyes as he obviously realized what was going on.
"Oh shit," he muttered, turning and walking away. Walking, not running. Not drawing attention to himself. Not pushing anything or anyone behind him to block Garrus' shot. He knew it was coming. As soon as she heard the thoom of the rifle and Sidonis fell, Shepard turned away and headed for the shuttle.
She didn't want to look at him, at the blue blood pooling the ground. She walked quickly and Alex materialized beside her, not looking at her, not touching her.
"He deserved it," Alex told her in a conversational tone, as if he was discussing the weather.
Yes, Shepard agreed. She understood. But was he worth it?
Alex twirled the stem of his glass between his fingers as he stared at the empty space behind the counter. He never would have imagined he would miss Gardner's constant jabbering or pestering to 'taste this, you'll love it!' But he did. It was too quiet on the ship without the crew there. Like a tomb.
At least they were on their way to the relay. And if he knew Shepard, she'd find some way to get them all back. She was a hero, and that's what heroes did. Alex wasn't a hero, but he was damn well traveling with one. Alex smirked at his glass.
It was his… what, his sixth? Yeah, his sixth glass. And he felt nothing. Unless he planned to dip himself in Ryncol, he was just going to have to deal with his problems the natural way. By ignoring them until it was impossible to continue doing so. Shepard had outlined the plan for them earlier. This could very well be a one-way trip, and Alex had absolutely no idea why he was still on the ship.
It made about as much sense as trusting Karen Parker. About as logical as risking his own neck to detonate the nuke outside Manhattan. He could have stayed on the Citadel, saluted Shepard and vanished into the crowd with one final screw this and fell off the radar like he'd been doing so successfully up until a few months ago. But he hadn't. He'd followed Shepard aboard, watched her walk up to the helm and give Joker the instructions in person rather than over the CIC, and he'd gone straight to the mess hall in another failed attempt to drink himself to oblivion.
He avoided anything that was green or blue. He wasn't taking any chances of having a repeat of the Ryncol Incident. He needed to be in one relatively intact piece for this.
Because shit was about to hit the proverbial fan, and he wanted to be conscious enough to complain to Shepard about it. He could faintly hear Garrus and Tali in the 'calibration chamber' down the hall, talking about who knows what. Miranda was with Jacob up on the main deck. Jack was probably blasting rock music in the engineering deck and doing the same thing he was; attempting to get shit-face drunk and failing miserably. Grunt was… Grunt-ing. Mordin was refining the seeker repellant, more than likely. Alex couldn't care less what the Justicar was doing, and he could faintly hear Kasumi listening to her greybox in her room.
Everyone had their own thing to be doing before they sail down the Styx into hades.
Alex drained what was left in his drink and threw the glass against the nearest wall, watching with some satisfaction as it shattered in a small tinkling of noise. He heard footsteps approaching, but didn't turn to look, just sent a whipfist for another glass and poured another drink.
Shepard sat on the stool beside him, resting her elbows on the counter and her head in her hands, staring at nothing. "You nervous, Alex?"
Alex paused mid-sip to glance at her. Was she really asking him that? He slowly set the glass back down and turned to face her, trying to read her expressionless face for a clue. It didn't matter how many people he consumed, how many memories he assimilated. He would never understand women. "Why would I be? We've got the great Commander Shepard on our side. The Collectors will be spitting teeth out their asses by the time we're through with them." He chuckled and took another drink.
Shepard shook her head beside him, but she was smirking a bit now. A little more relaxed. Alex couldn't even begin to fathom what a human would be thinking about a time like this. All he was thinking about was the various ways he intended to explore the Collector anatomy, and how utterly screwed Harbinger is going to be if he's anywhere near the ship. And how much of an absolute idiot he was for coming along in the first place.
Apparently wisdom did not come with age.
"I feel like I'm leading them to their deaths," Shepard admitted, grabbing Alex's drink before he had a chance to and draining the rest of it. She coughed immediately afterwards since she hadn't bothered to check the bottle before taking what was rightfully his. "The hell?" she protested, still coughing. Now she stared incredulously at the empty glass. "What was in that? Broken glass?"
Alex smirked. "I don't really know. It was a bottle, and it had alcohol in it, and so I was drinking it." He frowned a bit, picking up the bottle and turning it around. "I think it might be medicinal."
"For raising the bloody dead maybe," Shepard wheezed, pounding her chest and pushing his glass back with a grimace. Alex just laughed. She seemed to collect herself again and sighed, rubbing the back of her neck.
Alex eyed her. He wasn't good at this consoling people shit. That had always been Dana's department. Alex broke things, and Dana put them back together. He was really only half a person without her. Less than half, if he reminded himself that he wasn't human to start with. Or, if he wanted to be particularly morbid, he was a whole bunch of halves of a person. Thousands of halves. That were screaming in his head.
"You're not leading them anywhere they don't want to go, Shepard," Alex grumbled as he stared at his empty glass and debated whether or not to refill it. "You have a knack for picking up lunatics, and those lunatics would follow you into hell if you asked them nicely enough." He saluted her with the empty glass. "Present company included."
"But why?" Shepard was asking, almost in a whisper. Alex wondered how long she had been wanting to ask someone these questions but hadn't been able to. "I'm just an ex-Alliance Commander with a token Spectre status. I didn't stop Saren by myself, you know. There have got to be more capable soldiers out there that could do a better job."
Alex growled, setting the glass down and glancing at her. "Yeah? Well I wouldn't have followed anyone else, and that has to count for something. Look," he put an elbow on the counter and pointed his finger in her face, making her cross-eyed, "are you about to cry about how undeserving you are and how you aren't worth the respect the crew gives you? Because if you are, take it to Vakarian because I'm not about to put up with it. You are the damn commander of this ship, and for reasons unknown to me the people on board it are willingly following you through an alien relay with no guarantee they'll ever come out again. You didn't even have to threaten any of them, and that's a damn sight better than I could have done."
Shepard sighed and put her head on her folded arms, resting on the table. She mumbled something into her arms and Alex smirked, leaning closer.
"What was that, Shepard? I couldn't hear you."
She raised her head and glared at him. "You're right, Alex. Happy?" Alex just grinned at her. She sighed again and ran fingers through her hair. It was getting long. "I guess I'm just… tired. Tired of war." She fell silent before reaching for the bottle and filling his glass, taking a long drink of it. Without asking. "You know, when the original Normandy was destroyed and I got spaced?" Alex nodded. "I was freaking the hell out, of course. Anyone would be. But… I was also kind of… I don't know, relieved? Like I'd served humanity to the best of my ability, that I could pass the mantle onto someone else."
"And then the Bitch and Timmy revived you."
Shepard smirked at the nicknames, but nodded. "Yeah. And now there's another war I've got to fight—and don't get me wrong, I'll fight and I'll die trying to win this thing—but I just wonder if it's ever actually going to end."
Alex eyed his glass in her grip and drained the bottle instead. He still felt nothing. Damn. "It's not." He threw the empty bottle at the wall and watched it break, too. He stared at the glass for a second before looking back at Shepard. Dana would laugh at him if she heard him saying this. "And it won't, not so long as there are people like you fighting it." At the face she made as he said that, he held up a hand with a wry grin. "You don't want war to end, Shepard. The day people stop fighting and wars stop starting… that's the day there's nothing left to fight for. You don't want to live long enough to see that day come, Shepard." Alex knew, because he would live long enough to see it. He'd live long enough to see a lot of rather unpleasant things.
Shepard stared at him for a long minute, long enough for him to wonder if she'd somehow become intoxicated from two glasses of… whatever that had been. And then she smiled. She seemed… lighter. Relieved. Alex had absolutely no idea why. Women.
"You do have a heart in there," she teased, poking his chest. Alex bristled but didn't swat her away. She had to be tipsy. There was no reason she would be touching him or grinning at him otherwise. "You know, for a man-eating virus, you're an okay guy."
Alex looked back at the wall, shrugging. "Not really. It's just too much effort to be otherwise."
"Mmhmm," Shepard hummed noncommittally, standing to rustle through the cabinets for another bottle. It was green. Bright green. Familiar green. Alex leaned away from it when she sat back down, keeping his eyes locked on it, feeling his biomass roiling beneath his skin. He barely resisted the urge to hiss at it. She took one look at his face and burst out laughing. She laughed loud enough for Alex to hear Garrus and Tali fall silent, for Kasumi to pause the recording on her greybox. She waved the green tube at him and he slid over a seat, glaring daggers at her. "It's only toxic if we add the other one," she insisted.
Alex did not believe her. At all.
"You drink it then," Alex grumbled, hunching his shoulders and watching her laugh and pour a glass. He growled at her, warningly, when she tried to offer it to him. She just smiled innocently and drained it. "Don't come crawling to me when you need someone to pick you off the floor in the morning."
"I wouldn't dream of it, Alex." Shepard took another swig of the damn green tube.
Alex looked at the wall again, ignoring her random bouts of laughter and innocuous questions. He didn't stop her. She was Commander Jane Shepard, and tomorrow she was walking into the lion's den.
If she wanted to do so with a hangover, she was more than welcome to.
A/N: Next chapter: Collectors and Scions and Husks, OH MY! I always wondered what Shepard was thinking during Garrus' loyalty mission, when she steps out of his line of fire so obviously. An idiot could have figured out what she was doing. There had to be some kind of more subtle way to go about getting him in position rather than blatantly announcing it to the world like that. Oh well.
The famous 'We'll be at the relay in two hours, Commander. Go have alien relations with your LI or hang around depressingly in your cabin until we get there' scene. Now with 85% more Mercer and Tipsy!Shepard.