A/N So first things first. My deepest apologies to everyone whose wonderful stories I have not had time to review of late. I'm still loving your work, but I usually end up reading late at night after the show by which time all coherent thoughts have left my head, and your work deserves so much more than a simple 'yeah it was great, update soon.' Please know that I love and appreciate your hard work.
Secondly thanks to all my readers, whether you've talked to me or not. I know there's a lot of you, so cheers.
And lastly, I don't own Skins, but I think we all know that by now.
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38. Beautiful Chaos
Naomi
There was only one word to describe it, mayhem, absolute bloody mayhem. Didn't these people have homes to go to? It had been the most amazing week, rehearsing the show in the cliff top amphitheatre. We had set up the king poles and rigging bar to make a portique, and put up the metal set, and rehearsed entrances and exits using the natural features of the bowl. Swinging outdoors under the sun with the wind in my hair and the sound of the sea crashing against the rocks below was fucking exhilarating. Even though we were working, it felt like we were already on holiday. Everyone seemed relaxed and happy. JJ was in seventh heaven. Lara had turned out to be an absolute sweetheart, and even the fact that she turned out to have a seven year old son, didn't faze him, and within a couple of days their new instant family had become the perfect fit. Freddie had found himself a bunch of stoner mates hanging out with the local surfer boys, and spent his time gawking at girls in bikinis. I hadn't had time to gawk at girls in bikinis, cause my own girl was hyperactive and was constantly dragging me off exploring. She took me climbing on the rocks and one day we had found this perfect little cave where we had had to deal with another sex emergency. But we still made sure we found time for Cook and included him in some of our adventures, before leaving him to go hunting amongst the local girls. Effy seemed to spend most of her time taking advantage of the amazing locations to take pictures of Katie in a variety of fabulous outfits. And for her part, Katie would never tire of being in front of the camera, especially as Effy excelled in making her look completely gorgeous.
Pandora was jumping up and down in front of me. She always seemed to be in her element when life was at it's most chaotic. She had been hyper stimulated ever since Thomas had won the demon race around the town and had been declared the Demon Prince. Panda had decided that this had automatically made her a Demon Princess and she was very fucking happy about it. The whole day had been intense, it had more of a feeling of a Spanish fiesta about it than an English country fair, and though Emily had bemoaned the lack of an oversized vegetable competition, I knew she was having a fucking good time. We were walking hand in hand through the crowd to go and watch an Australian stilt dance company, when our peace was shattered by the unmistakable plummy tones of Abigail Arts Council.
"Naomi, how fabulous," she called to me. "I was absolutely stoked when I heard you guys were doing this. It's really radical, ya. Like totally anarchic. Just your kind of thing. Mummy has a holiday home near here, so I always come down for this."
"Yeah, it's cool," replied Emily politely. "Everyone's really nice."
"Oh this is Emily," explained Abigail to an attractive looking Hispanic woman beside her. "She and Naomi do that totally amazing duet I was telling you about. This is Petra, she works for the British Council."
"Abigail tells me your act is very hot," purred Petra in a Latin American accent.
"Seriously, the most erotic thing I've ever seen on a stage," agreed Abigail, winking at us.
I felt Emily's hand grip mine tighter in what I can only assume was fear, but some how she managed to keep her smile.
"Thanks…." she croaked nervously.
"Absolutely super sexy, I swear they have to keep fire extinguishers on standby," laughed Abigail, guffawing at her own joke. "Speaking of sexy, is the Cookie Monster about?"
"He's over by the living statue of Medusa, trying to make her laugh," I said without a moment's hesitation.
"Safe," said Abigail excitedly. "Catch you ladies later, ya?"
"That wasn't very nice," laughed Emily once the Arts Council harpies were out of earshot. "Sacrificing Cook to his stalker."
"Weren't you listening, Ems?" I replied. "Her mate was British Council. You get in with them it means supported overseas touring. I have absolute no qualms about pimping out our boys for the cause. Besides, if someone's got to sleep our way to the top, I'm sure Cook would be a willing sinner. And I know he'd do the same to me."
"Thank fuck Abigail doesn't fancy you then," said Emily in alarm. "Or me for that matter."
"I'd never pimp you out, Hun," I assured her. "If it came to that we'd just have to stay poor and honest."
"Though I wouldn't kick that Petra out of bed," Emily smirked salaciously.
"Emily!" I scolded her.
"Fuck, did that come out loud?" she said guiltily. "I guess old habits die hard."
"It's ok," I said reluctantly. I had to remember that for this to work, I couldn't change who Emily was. "But I may have to punish you later."
"Oh well if that's the case," she said, putting her arms around my neck. "I might have to find a few other ways to be bad."
"I think wanting to fuck hot Latin American chicks is quite bad enough Ms. Fitch."
"I don't want to fuck her," said Emily, pulling my head towards her so she could whisper in my ear. "I want to fuck you."
Sex emergency alarm bells started blaring away in my head. Why the hell were we in the middle of a crowded street? Emily Fucking Fitch, one day you will be the death of me.
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We had gone back and prepped for the show early as we wanted to be back for the parade. It was fantastic. Giant puppets and colourful costumes, stilt walkers and fireswingers. Samba bands and ukelele orchestras, and all manner of amazing sights and sounds paraded round the town and then led the huge crowd up to the top of the cliffs. The whole thing had been headed up by the new Demon Prince in a chariot pulled by the pack of guys dressed as goats, and of course his self-appointed Demon Princess had insisted on joining him for the ride. We arrived at site just as darkness was falling, and the place looked amazing. Thomas and Effy had done an incredible job of illuminating the surrounding rocks with lighting and projection. Effy had stayed behind to operate them, warning us that the carnival could bring back some very ugly memories. Katie had made sure she ran ahead of the parade once it reached the cliffs so she could be with Effy as it arrived. Luckily Anthea was never one to miss a party and had rocked up halfway through the week with Tony in tow, so Effy had extra protection during the show and the confusion that followed.
If rehearsing outdoors in that setting had been amazing enough, performing there at night in front of a massive crowd was fucking mindblowing. It was definitely one of those experiences that was going to be burned onto my brain forever. I could almost feel the pictures forming snapshots in my head as we danced and fought and swung for the final time of that eventful summer. The audience response was exhilarating. Even with a full house in the tent we had never played to a crowd that large. The amphitheatre was full to the brim, and people were almost hanging off the surrounding rocks to watch us. When they cheered, their roars virtually drowned out the PA, and the more they fed us, the more we gave them back. When you get a response like that, your adrenalin levels rocket. You feel no pain, and your strength seems to triple in an instant. I remember shows when I've felt so tired before going on that I have wondered how the hell I'm even going to get up a rope. But then you hear that sound and your bodies own natural chemicals can turn you into Superwoman. That night we were unstoppable, the power we experienced as we worked was better than any of the drugs we consumed in between times. Emily's one arm pull up came back with a vengeance, people were literally screaming during Cook's solo dance, and Katie had the whole audience eating out of the palm of her hand. As I built up to do my last trick on the cloudswing, I could feel so much energy in the air, it was like being in the middle of an electrical storm. The sheer volume of the excited gasps of the audience as I dived into my throwout had me smiling like crazy as I swung backwards through suspension. I flipped myself back up at the back of the swing and prepared to dive again. Usually if I was feeling good I managed a couple of throwouts in a row, but tonight the audience started cheering and I felt like I could go on forever. Five in a row. I managed five fucking throwouts in a row. Self indulgent I know, but it was the last night of the tour and I was going to fucking enjoy myself. The noise at the end of the show was deafening. Emily kissed me in the curtain call sending another roar of approval surging through the crowd. We were all as high as kites. I don't think any of us were even going to need to get munted that night.
The proof was there before me as Pandora continued to jump for joy and babble at me excitedly. Her upside down death slide had been even more extreme than usual, her head stopping just millimetres from the floor. All around us nobody was going home. All the participants from the parade were still dancing around and making music, and people had been queuing up to tell me how fabulous I was.
"I love it here," squealed Panda. "It's absolutely bonkers."
"Yeah," I agreed. "Completely fucking mental."
"Don't let Anthea hear you say that," warned Panda. "You know we're not supposed to say stuff about crazy people."
I refrained from getting into an argument with her about the merits of 'bonkers' versus 'mental', and tried a different tack.
"It's a beautiful chaos," I told her. "There's not enough nights like this."
"Pandemonium!" she shouted in delight. "Pandemonium. Pandemonium. I love that word. It's one of my favourites cause it's got my name in it. Panda-monium, see? What's your favourite word, Naomi?"
I was so taken aback by the randomness of the question that I only just stopped myself from blurting out that I actually had three favourite words and they were 'Emily', 'naked' and 'handcuffed', before I caught myself and fell back on and old favourite.
"Disreputable," I said, allowing the word to roll off my tongue with intent.
"You're so cool, Naomi," said Panda.
I was just about to smile at the compliment, when she added, "but Emily's made you loads dirtier."
Before I had the chance to reply, yet another group of people came up to gush at me about how wonderful the show was. It's really lovely, and it makes me proud that we can make people that fucking happy, but after a while it all starts to sound the same, and I found myself zoning out as my mind drifted to my dirty girlfriend. I smiled and made my excuses to my fans, and started to drift through the beautiful chaos in search of the girl who could make the magic of this night complete.
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I wandered past Thomas teaching the other demons dances from the Congo. I saw Tony holding Effy in a protective embrace as she had braved the crowd to watch a beautiful girl dancing with fire poi. I gravitated towards the unmistakable sound of Anthea's voice, and watched her waving her cigarette round in the air whilst mouthing off about how samba should only ever be played by half naked Brazilians. I endured an 'oh so proud of you' hug from my beautiful mother and suffered a surge of the warm and fuzzy when I caught JJ jamming with the ukelele orchestra with Lara and her little boy dancing along with them. I did absolutely nothing to help when I found Cook having his ear chewed off by Abigail, merely giving him an ironic thumbs up as he stared at me helplessly over her shoulder. And I was delighted when I spotted British Council Petra with her hand planted firmly on Freddie's crotch. Nice one boys. Still no sign of either of the fabulous Fitches. I was at a loss of where to look next until I randomly remembered something Emily told me in Liverpool. She was pointing out carvings and decorations on all the old buildings the morning after our night in the hotel, and was going on about how many people never noticed them.
"You have to remember to keep looking up," she said. "That's where you can find the hidden treasure."
Instinctively I raised my gaze at the thought, and that's when I found them. Emily and Katie were sat on the rigging bar, taking down all the ropes and trapezes we couldn't leave out overnight. I abandoned the pandemonium and climbed up to meet them, crawling out onto the truss behind Emily and instantly feeling at home high up in the cool night air.
"Thanks for doing the de-rig," I said to them.
"Nah, we're good," shrugged Katie. "It's just nice to escape the madness. Felt like we needed some sister time."
"Oh right, has she told you?" I blurted out without thinking. The furious glare that Emily shot me over her shoulder told me that no, she still hadn't quite gotten round to telling Katie she was moving to Bristol. Idiot Naomi. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
"Told me what?" said Katie with menacing calm. Shit. Emily decided to be bold and seize the moment.
"I'm not going to come back to London," she stated firmly, as if to deflect any possible argument.
"Well duh," shrugged Katie. "That's not exactly up to the minute news."
"You knew?" I said incredulously.
"It's one of the advantages of living with the woman who knows everything," smiled Katie, at the merest thought of Effy. "Means I get to know everything too. Besides, you two can barely cope with half an hour without each other's company. It's not exactly rocket science to work out that you're gonna have to live together."
"And you don't mind?" I asked.
"Bristol's not that far away," replied Katie "and you're still gonna have let her come and do some gigs with me. You can't steal my sister and my livelihood all in one go."
"No problem," I assured her. "And anyway, we'll be back on tour again before you know it."
"Can I consider that an official recall for next year then?" said Katie.
"Fuck yeah," I told her. "It wouldn't be the same without you."
"I'll miss you," said Emily.
"What, during the five minutes every day when you're not shagging Blondie?" laughed Katie caustically. She may be a softer, gentler version than the one that started the summer, but she's still Katie Fitch after all.
"Seriously," insisted Emily, forcing Katie to relent.
"I'll miss you too," she admitted. "But we can't live breathing each other's air for the rest of our lives. Anyway, I have Effy now."
"So you are shagging her?" I said carelessly. What was it with me, and the blurty honesty tonight?
"Don't be ridiculous," scoffed Katie.
Oh so they really are just good friends. Just extremely good friends. Who touch each other all the time.
"Effy doesn't need that kind of complication in her life right now."
Oh my God, she's thought about it. She's thought about sex with Effy, and she's not ruling it out. Katie Fitch the man magnet wants to sleep with her best friend.
"You know she loves you?" said Emily.
"Yeah, I know," sighed Katie. "But she matters so much to me, I couldn't bear to fuck it up."
"What makes you think you'd fuck it up?" I said.
"I'm not like Emily," she replied.
"Not gay?" I asked.
"Not fearless," said Katie. "I remember when we were little kids, the next door neighbour's kid got a bike for his birthday, and he offered us a go. Neither of us could ride a bike, but that didn't stop Emily. She took that bike to the top of a hill and tried to freewheel down and start pedalling once she reached the bottom. She kept falling off, but every time she would just get back up, push the bike back up to the top and try again. All I did was stand and watch until she finally cracked it. The look of pure joy on her face was incredible as she rode around and gained command of it, but I was still too terrified of falling to even try. I made up some lame comment about bikes being for losers, and it was another two years before I went near one again."
"Effy's not a bike," laughed Emily.
"Isn't that a slang for bisexual? So technically, she is," giggled Katie, before suddenly becoming serious again. "What if I try, and I can't handle it? She's doing so well, she really is. She hasn't even had an episode since Liverpool. I can't put that in jeopardy by fucking around with her heart, and then running back to men. I have to be strong for her. I have to be sure, but how can I be sure without trying?"
She dropped the last of the ropes back down to the stage, and started moving away from us.
"Where are you going?" said Emily.
"Where I always go," smiled Katie. "To find her, to hold her, to breathe with her. I fucking love just breathing with her."
That was so fucking beautiful, how could it not be love? I could practically see Katie's heart glowing in her chest.
"Effy told me something once," said Emily. "She told me to be brave. I think she would want you to try."
"She's worth the risk," I called out to Katie. It's always worth the risk.
"I know," she replied with genuine feeling as she flipped her leg off the truss and started climbing down the kingpole. "I'm just still trying to figure out if I am."
I felt Emily's hand involuntarily squeeze mine as she listened to her sister's self doubt.
"You're Katie Fucking Fitch," said Emily forcefully. "Of course you fucking are."
We were rewarded with the sound of Katie's beautiful laughter swirling back up towards us as she continued her descent. It made me grateful that my fabulous Fitch had been bold enough to fight through all my fears.
"Come here," I said, pulling her backwards into a close and loving embrace. "Breathe with me."
We sat there for several minutes, slowly allowing our breathing to fall into sync. Gradually the sounds of the sea, and the revellers below seemed to drift into the background as I became hyper aware of the breath and heartbeat of the beautiful woman in my arms. It was almost as if I could feel her life force buzzing against my skin and in the air around me. I felt so connected to everything, to her, to the world, to life. It was as if I could feel and understand every atom in my body, every atom in her body. Because of her I no longer had to hide. Because of her I could look the future in the eye with confidence. Because of her, I knew I could do anything. Because of her, I was no longer afraid. I pressed my lips into the back of her neck and enjoyed the delicious shiver it produced in her.
"So, Ems. Last night of the tour," I whispered. "What do you want to do?" Drink? Dancing? Drugs? Wild abandoned sex?"
"We can do that anytime," she shrugged, and I giggled because it was true. We were living charmed lives.
"I want to do something special," she said.
"What?" I asked, knowing I would promise her anything.
"Just this," she said softly, nestling herself even further back into my embrace and running her fingers across my arms. "I want to do just this."
She let her head fall back onto my shoulder, and I lost myself in the scent and soft flesh of her neck. This time I slowly let the world back in, absorbed the sounds of sea and celebration into the paradise of my union with Emily. I began to wonder could this moment be any more perfect? But ever since I'd given myself to Emily Fitch, I had discovered that there was magic in the world.
"Look," she hissed excitedly. "Shooting star."
I ran my hand along her outstretched arm and let my eyes follow her gaze up to the heavens. Just as I caught the dying trail of the shooting star, another one ignited its fiery path across the sky. And another, and another until we found ourselves witness to a full on meteor shower. Nature's own firework display playing just for us.
"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me," I said incredulously. I know I felt in tune with the universe when I was with Emily, but this was too perfect to be true. Emily had her own theory.
"Do you think the Stonems had a word with the gods and arranged this for us?" she giggled.
We slipped back into a comfortable silence. I knew we would have to descend back into the seething pandemonium at some point, but for now holding Emily under the stars was not just everything I wanted from life, it was life itself.
"Do you know what I don't get?" she asked me softly. "How I can be so completely yours and yet still feel like me."
"I feel more like me," I replied with certainty. "That girl I was before was just a faker. I believed in my work, but I never really believed in me. Being with you has set me free."
When I thought over everything I had gained over the past few months, it was almost too much to bear. Not just cause Emily loved me, but because she had taught me how to love her back. It was as if she had taken of my blindfold, and suddenly I could see that the world was beautiful.
"I don't ever want this to end," I said, breathing with her once more.
"Babe," she said, with that beautiful husk in her voice that would forever make my pussy tingle and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "Once you've tasted Naomi Campbell, there's no going back."
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And that my beautiful friends is the end of our story. The tour ends, and I leave my lovers happy, and with a bright future of art and love stretching out before them, not to mention the occasional sex emergency. There's a lot of people to thank for this experience, but I'll leave that to the traditional follow up author's note as I'm actually feeling a little emotional right now. You've been a wonderful audience. Thank you and goodnight.
HyperFitched xxx