Secrets – Part Two (or probably both smooth down there like Ken and Barbie)

September 17th 1997 (or the day Robert left his family)

The Abandoned

It had been long, boring, normal, but overall good day, of school for Gendry. He and Arya had Algebra together first period and they endured another boring lecture from Pycelle. Every time Pycelle said the word 'linear' Gendry would leave a tally on the top right side of his notebook. It was early in the year but there were already ninety-seven tallies. After that the day dragged until lunch with Hotpie and Arya. They hadn't known each other before high school but they seemed to getting along well...well...as well as Arya got along with anyone. It took Hotpie a while to know that being called a 'fucking moron' was par for the course well dealing with Arya. For her it wasn't an insult, more a statement a fact. It was a good thing they were getting along because he didn't want to choose between the two, because the truth was Hotpie didn't stand a chance. He'd pick Arya in a heartbeat. He'd pick Arya over anyone he knew. Arya wasn't just his friend anymore. She was his crush.

He felt so fucking stupid having a crush on her. She was just his friend. Just a friend he spent all his time with, and he told some of his secrets to, and a friend that over the summer had developed an ass he couldn't keep his eyes off of. He actually preferred seeing her during the week at school because she would be wearing jeans verses over the weekend when she would more likely bumming around in sweatpants. She was more comfortable in the sweats, but it did not show off her 'assets' the way he liked. He also couldn't help but notice the changes that were happening with her tits. Namely she had them now. She always had some annoying acne around her nose, but that's the way puberty worked. She was self-conciseness about her changing body he knew, never wearing anything that displayed her chest. T-Shirts she wore were usually a size to big, and baggy on her. But, she still sometimes she wore shirts in the correct size and he couldn't keep his eyes off her. It was so stupid to think this stuff about Arya. There was no way she thought the same. He was just her stupid friend that she liked playing video games with and made dirty jokes about the teachers they despised. To Arya it probably didn't even matter that he was a boy and she was a girl. In her mind they were probably both smooth down there like Ken and Barbie.

After school that day Arya came over and they played Goldenye together on his N64. It was nice since his father hadn't returned from work yet so they had full use of his den and the big screen that lay within. Every time they played in his dad's den Arya commented on how the dead deer heads that hung from the wall 'freaked the fuck outta her.' It took Gendry a while to get used to his father's trophies but he was no longer bothered by the dead animals strewn about the room. It was a grotesque, but boring feature, of the house to him at this point. He did find it odd that the buck he shot, a six pointer he thought his father said, was mounted in the middle of the room. It was dwarfed by some of the larger deer in the room and it took his father a day's worth of work to change the room around to properly display the animal Gendry had killed. He tried not to think about to much though. It brought back memories of the panic attack that happened well he tried to field dress the deer. At least that's what his mother told him it was, 'a panic attack.' His father had far more colorful words such as 'faking' or 'stupid' or 'bullshit.'

Two hours of rockets and lasers later Arya left for the evening. Gendry didn't want to shoo her out, and greatly enjoyed when she elbowed him in the side and then stayed close to him on couch, but she had to go. His dad would be home soon and she didn't need to be around him. Arya always thought Gendry kept her away from his father because he didn't want this dad around her. She had it backwards. Gendry didn't want Arya around him well his father was around. It was odd that he wasn't there already. Dinner was at six and it was already almost seven. Which probably meant he was out drinking and would be drunk as a skunk when he got home. It was another grotesque, but at this point boring, part of life in the Baratheon house hold. The shouting, the drinking, the discord, and the disorder. Just another boring night at Gendry's house.

His father's truck pulled into the garage at eighty-thirty. His father threw the door open and was promptly greeted by his mother. Their fighting had become more prevalent recently, his mother taking less and less of Robert's bullshit. Gendry was glad his mom was finally laying down the law, but more fighting meant that he and Eddie were more often caught in the middle.

"You're late," his mother stated, her tone stern and cold. His mom rarely won arguments, but she certainly could start them. Her glare was strong enough to make his father shudder at times. Her only flaw was she didn't have the endurance for the yelling and profanity that his father had to finish the fight.

"I know." His father slurred and slammed the door behind. He rambled into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and cracked open a beer. Most certainly not the first of the evening.

Gendry knew what was coming next and decided to limit the friendly fire that he and Eddie would have to absorb. "Hey, Eddie, let's go upstairs."

"But, I'm coloring!" Eddie sat happily at the kitchen table, seemingly unaware of the fight that was about to occur. He was currently coloring the pink Ranger purple, because he always thought hated the color pink and preferred purple.

"We can do that upstairs." Gendry pushed him lightly to coax him out of the chair.

"Stay down here. You stay right fucking there." his father ordered and pointed to 'his boys.' Gendry was tempted to take Eddie upstairs, and defy his father, but the last time Gendry did that he was rewarded with a slap in the face. He didn't want another. Most of all another in front of Eddie.

"Robert, don't swear in front of the children." His mother wasn't keen on the 'mouth' that Gendry had on him. It was the one thing that Gendry got from his dad. The one thing Robert Baratheon had given his son. A love of the word fuck.

"Why not!? Why the fuck shouldn't I swear! Why the fuck not? They should know the word...fuck! Because that's what the world is. Fucked!" His father staggered deeper into the kitchen and plopped on a chair next to Eddie. His brother, who usually didn't seem to notice his father's drunkenness like Gendry and his mother, recoiled at the display.

"Robert. I told you not to show up drunk like this anymore." His mother coldly him. "You can't be in the house if you've had this much to drink."

"Well, you won't have to worry about that after tonight." Robert shotgunned half his beer with a mighty chug, that seemed to leave him happily dull to his wives' shouting.

"What?" His mother asked.

"I'm leaving tonight," his father told them.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not going to fucking repeat yourself," he bellowed and finished the rest of his beer.

"Boys, go up to your rooms."

"Don't fucking move!"

"Up to your rooms!"

They both screamed and Gendry didn't know which orders to follow. Based on the drunken stupor on Robert's face it was clear he wasn't in any shape to be a threat to Gendry. His mother on the other hand had fear and anger in her eyes. If anyone was in charge it was her. Not to mention this kitchen, at this moment, was the last place he ever wanted to be. Gendry took his brother by the hand and together they disappeared down the hallway. The moment they turned the corner they heard their mother. "What do you mean?! You're leaving!?"

"What? I thought you wanted my drunk ass out of the house?"

"I want you stop drinking before you kill yourself! But, you're leaving?"

The voices were loud but became muffled once they got up to Eddie's room. Gendry wanted to hear what they were yelling about but he closed the door. Eddie didn't need to hear it.

"Keep the door open!" Eddie ran across the room and opened the door. "I wanna hear!"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me what to do you fucking cunt!" Their father yelled.

"Yeah...let's keep the door closed," Gendry closed the door again and moved his brother away. He had to force Eddie to watch some TV. He suggested they watch some of the Power Rangers videos that Eddie had. It wasn't the classic stuff that he and Arya grew up with, but it was something. With the volume high enough it was enough to distract Eddie. Watching the show was hard for Gendry. First of all, half the fun was watching with Arya and pointing out the vaguely racist undertones of having the Asian girl be the yellow ranger and the black kid be the black ranger. More importantly, he wanted to hear what his parents were doing. When Gendry excused himself to use the bathroom he popped his head down the stairs and could only hears part of the conversation.

"I already told you!" his father yelled. "They were out to get me! They fucking hated me and wanted me out!"

"They were not out to get you Robert! You were drunk half the time! That's why you got fired!"

He got fired?

"You can always go get another job, or stop drinking, cut back...anything. But, you can't just leave!" his mother pleaded.

"I can't stay here!" His father was still drunk but he sounded more in control.

"Why not? We're your family! We need you here. The boys need their father, they need their father here...sober..." the last word left her mouth in a defeated tone. Like it had been said a million times before with no results.

"I can't stay here! I can't let my boys see me as a failure!"

Gendry took a deep breath and his first thought was of Eddie. Without even having to turn around he knew what his brother was doing. His little head was popped out of the door and tears streamed down his face.

"Eddie!" he yelled, but in a hushed tone. "Get back in your room." His brother winced and closed the door again.

Gendry walked to the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of NightQuil out of the medicine cabinet. Eddie probably didn't know how to open the container's childproof top. He didn't hate to hear his parents shout as much as Gendry did. It would never occur to little Eddie to take a chug of the green liquid to get a good night's sleep like it did to Gendry when he was eight years old.

"Hey, buddy come over here," Gendry told his brother. "Take a sip of this."

"I'm not sick though..."

"I heard you coughing earlier tonight and I just want to be sure."

An hour later Eddie was comfortably asleep and his parents were still fighting. Eddie kept on asking 'are they still yelling?' Tears streamed down his confused face as he drifted off to sleep. Gendry didn't answer and told him to get some sleep. Once Eddie was asleep, Gendry crept out of the room and into the hallway.

Downstairs he could hear his mother sobbing It sounded like she was in the kitchen. She was no longer screaming or yelling, in fact it didn't sound like his father was down there. Down the hall in his parents bedroom he heard someone rummaging around. He quietly made his way to the room and pushed the door open. There was his father, still drunk, still angry, throwing pieces of clothing into a suit case in no particular order. On the floor was the entire luggage set. It appeared he was leaving and they wouldn't be able to travel anytime so either.

"Got sumthing to say?" Robert said without turning to face his son. Gendry remained silent and watched his father pack. "What? Nothing at all? Fuck, you never have anything to say."

"Don't come back." Gendry didn't remember thinking it, but the words slipped off his tongue. He wasn't like his mother. He wanted this man gone. His body ached as he said the words, he could feel his neck tense and tears form. He fought them back. His father didn't deserve his sadness. He was leaving, everyday would be better because he was gone. They didn't need him, most of all Gendry.

His father finally turned back towards him. "Ahh! Finally something! Don't come back eh? You don't want me to come back?" Robert lumbered a few feet over to Gendry. For the first time the boy realized he was just as tall as Robert. He was now on the same level as the man that once towered over him and struck fear into his soul.

"If you leave, don't come back. We don't want you here." It was the truth, or at least what he believed. But, with each word he said, and for each shirt and pair of pants in his father's suitcase, Gendry could feel a pit in his stomach grow and a lump in his throat swell.

"You know something boy...you're right. You are goddamn right." Gendry finally noticed that there were tears in his father's eyes. Not a lot, but some. Most of them had been wiped away. "You know, I've been a terrible father. Being a dad is hard. No one tells you how to do, you just have to figure it out as you go. And, with you, I never figured you out."

You never tried. You just decided I was a disappointment no matter what I did.

"I'm sorry about that."

"What?" Gendry thought he heard wrong. He must have heard wrong.

"I've been a shit father for you. I never knew how to do it. But, it's not my fault. My father hit me, 'cus his father hit him, and so on. I never hit you...well, only once...so I guess that was an improvement. Maybe you'll actually be a good father some day..." His father trailed off and resumed his packing as Gendry stood at the door.

"Why are you leaving?" Gendry asked. He wanted his father gone but he didn't need to leave. He wasn't being kicked out like he deserved. He wasn't being taken away. The man was just leaving and Gendry didn't know why.

"You wouldn't understand," his father laughed. "Too young, too stupid."

"I'm not that stupid."

"You're not a man yet. One day you'll be a man. One day you'll fuck up. One day you won't be able to stand the sight of yourself in the mirror. Can't stand for anyone else to see you. And then you'll understand...then you'll understand."

"But...why?" Gendry asked again.

"Because I can't stand for you to see me!" his father screamed and then took a deep breath. What he said next was in a calm, cool, tone. Like for the first time in their entire relationship he was about tell Gendry something worth his time. "One day, one day, you'll fuck up. Then you'll understand. Now...get the fuck out of here."

Those would be last the words his father would say to him for a long time.

Gendry felt like he had been slapped again. It was impossible to hold back the tears. He turned around and walked back to his room. He passed his mother who said something. He didn't pay attention though as he went to his room and slammed the door behind him. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.

August 29th 2008 (or a few seconds after Sansa told Arya she knew about Tyrion using drugs again)

The Receptionist

"What do you mean you know Tyrion has been using?" Arya asked her sister. She kept her voice down, not wanting to be heard in the garish lobby of Lannister, Lannister, & Lannister. The last thing Arya and Tyrion needed were more rumors about the black sheep of the Lannister family.

"I mean...I know he's being using," Sansa frankly told her sister. "I freaking live with the guy Arya, I'm not that oblivious." Arya thought of saying 'I beg to differ' but decided against it. She used to be that oblivious, but now it seemed Sansa was more worldly than Arya even.

"So...wait...you knew he was using and you didn't do anything to stop it?" Arya asked as this entire situation was flipped upon her. She excepted an upset, no a furious Sansa, to be curse her out over keeping something like this from her. But, instead it was Arya with the perplexed look in her eyes and it was her that now gushed with questions.

"No, I did. I told him he couldn't come home high. I didn't want to see him and I didn't want his son to see him high."

"You kicked him out of his apartment?"

"Our apartment, my name is on the lease. And, yes, I kicked him out a twice. A couple other times I assumed he stayed here over night because he was high, but he also could have been working on that fucking case."

"Xanex wasn't the only thing..." Arya muttered, thinking of no better way to mention that Tyrion was dabbling in some 'nose candy.'

"Yeah, he told me about the coke."

"He did?!"

"Yes, Arya, he did and keep your voice down. We talked about our problems. That was actually the night he got off the pills again."

"You sure?" Arya incredulous inquired. "I mean...how do you know?"

"He's an addict Arya, he's not the most reliable source on the planet, but he hasn't shown any signs of relapse."

"And what will you do if he does?"

"Then...we deal with it and he'll have to get clean again. Pod will have a bunch of questions about why his father is so cranky, and there will be some sleepless nights, but we'll get through it. We've done it before."

"Fuck, Sansa," Arya sighed. She hadn't realized how involved Sansa was with her fiancée's drug habit. She assumed, like her own husband, Tyrion tried to just deal with 'his' shit on his own. However, Tyrion wasn't as stubborn as her stupid-ass husband. "Why do you put up with it? I mean, isn't...hard? Fuck...impossible?"

"It's hard, but, he's worth it."

"I wouldn't put up with it..." Arya muttered, flabbgasted by her sister's actions. She understood why she put up with her bosses shitty drug addled behavior, but she would never put up with a drug addict as a boyfriend, or fiancee.

"You wouldn't?" Sansa cocked an eyebrow at her sister. "If Gendry started popping pills, or snorting coke, or shot up heroin, you'd just dump him? You wouldn't stay with him? For better or worse doesn't apply?" Arya was stunned for two reasons. First, that Sansa knew so much about drugs now. It actually wasn't that much information, but this girl once didn't know you could bake pot into brownies. This Sansa was leaps and bounds better informed than she was in college. Second...Arya didn't know what she would do if Gendry did those things. It had never cross her mind, that he would, or could do that.

"How is Gendry?" Sansa asked when Arya didn't answer her question. There was concern in her sister's voice for her brother-in-law. "I haven't seen him in like a month."

"He's...he's...okay," she lied. He wasn't okay. Yesterday it seemed like he had seen a ghost when he came home. She excepted him to ecstatic that she was there on time, but he barely spoke and went to bed at nine o'clock, although she knew he was up half the night based on his fidgeting. He didn't say anything. He just tried to deal with it on his own, like the stupid bull-headed fucker he was.

"Is he..." Sansa paused and doubled checked the room to make sure they were alone in the lobby. "Is he still 'seeing' that other girl?"

"He isn't 'seeing' anyone," Arya declared and used air quotes where appropriate.

"You told me he's always seeing that girl and spent a lot of time alone with her. You tell him to stop that?"

"No..." Arya growled, hating herself for not telling Gendry to stop seeing Bella. "I fucking didn't tell him to. And I might have been too late."

"What?" Sansa's eyes popped open, fearing the worst. "What'd he do?"

"The other day Gendry had a panic attack, and he texted me, but I was busy seating gynecologists at your wedding." Arya eyes told Sansa all she needed to know about how she felt Sansa was involved in this situation. "I didn't notice. So instead of calling me, like he promised he'd do, he fucking called her."

"Ohh..." Sansa said with a pause. "Not to sound stupid, but you didn't want him talking to anyone?"

"He was supposed to talk to me. I'm the only person he's ever talked to about this and he fucking called that slut." Her fists tightened as she spoke. Until now she had only focused on trying to her marriage back to recognizable order, she hadn't stopped and thought about how pissed she was that he called her. Some other fucking woman. "And then, last night, he comes home after working out, probably with her, and he's totally gone. Totally freaked out, barely able to look at me."

"Well, and I don't want to excuse him...but...he's going through a rough time."

"What?" Arya asked. "Rough time?" Sansa didn't seem to be talking about the estrangement between Arya and Gendry.

"Yeah, I know he and his father aren't close. At all. But he got some pretty rough news."

"What?" Arya asked again. "What are you talking about? What news?"

"Ohh...fuck," Sansa's face turned white. "I thought he told you."

"Told me what?" Arya clenched her jaw wondering what her husband had held back from her and what her sister already knew.

"He talked to his father the other day...right?" Sansa clarified.

"Yeah. And then he had a panic attack. What's going on Sansa?"

"Arya...I...fuck...I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut."

"Sansa. Tell me!"

"I can't. I only found out by accident. It isn't my business."

"But, it's Gendry's business?"

"It's about his dad...and...that's all I'll say. I'm not even sure Gendry knows. If their talk went as bad as you say it did maybe Robert didn't tell him." Sansa squirmed as she spoke, not wanting to say anything about the subject, and hated herself for even bringing it up.

"Tell me what?" Arya demanded again, this time she got out her chair and leaned over her desk. If she knew she could get away with it she would have lunged over the table and tackled her sister for the truth. But, she was at work, and technically it was a felony, and she was wearing a skirt and didn't want anyone to get a free look.

"Just...just talk to your husband. He might not even know. Just ask him what his father told him and if he doesn't know tell him he needs to talk to his dad."

"Sansa, please, tell me what's going on?" Arya pleaded. She couldn't take anymore strife with Gendry and considering how she had been an invisible partner in their marriage for the last year plus, she was in no place to demand Gendry to tell her anything. If Sansa told her it'd save Arya time, and energy, weaseling it out of her husband. She could focus on helping the stupid asshole.

"Arya. I can't. I promised mom I wouldn't."

"Mom knows!?" Arya yelled. "How the fuck does mom know?"

"Ohh, goddamnit," she swore again. Not only did she swear she took the lord's name in vein. Sansa only did that when it really mattered. "I can't tell you Arya. I just can't."

"Yes you can! Sisters don't keep secrets from each other!"

"Really? Arya?" Sansa dryly responded. "Sisters don't keep secrets from each other? This conversation began by you confessing to keeping my husband's drug habit from me."

"You already knew about it! It wasn't a secret!"

"Really?" Sansa just stared Arya down. In that moment Sansa was much taller than Arya. Even taller than usual. In that moment Arya didn't have a leg to stand on.

"Okay, fuck. Fine." Arya angrily sunk back into her chair. "Just go have lunch with Tyrion. And tell him that Gendry will have bail money tonight at the bachelor party but he'd rather not spend it."

"I'm sorry I can't tell you Arya." Sansa told Arya as she walked away. Arya heard her sister curse at herself 'stupid, stupid,' as she stalked down the hall.

Arya thought of calling Gendry, but decided against it. She'd have to wait to get home. This was a face to face conversation. And she'd certainly be home on time today.

The Conflicted

"You have no McNuggets?!" Gendry demanded and felt his blood boil. "How can you not have any freaking McNuggets?"

"Nope, sorry dude," the apathetic teen responded with a shrug. It was twelve-thirty and Gendry was at a McDonald's. The drive thru had a line ten cars back so he popped inside to get his food to go. He had just come from work and had been lucky enough to get the afternoon off. His lunch had been short and left a terrible taste in his mouth. After leaving Bella at the table he told his boss he had a bachelor party tonight and he had some 'stuff' to deal with. 'Stuff' was a fun euphemism for debating whether to his wife he kissed another woman and try to take control of his mind that had twirled for the last two days. He needed some time to settle down and get his world straight again. Then he could deal with the fucking huge mistake he made.

In the last two days Gendry had talked to his dad, which caused a panic attack, which made him turn to Bella, who he then fucking stupidly kissed. At the same time Arya decided to return to the life they both shared with gusto, which was nice, but the guilt was already gnawing at his soul. All the while he was scheduled tonight to babysit a five foot one toddler who would have access to whiskey and twenty-two year old strippers who would probably be willing to make bad decisions for a good story and three hundred dollars. He had some shit to figure out. The first thing was first though. He needed his goddamn McNuggets. McNuggets would make everything better. He didn't give a shit that they were "chicken" at best. He didn't care it was fucking horrible for him to eat. It made him feel a fuck ton better. When he was a kid his mom always got him happy meals when his dad freaked out on him. Considering how often that happened it was amazing how good of shape Gendry was in.

"Sir, is there anything else you want?" the teen asked and Gendry thought of asking to talk to a manager. He looked around though and felt the pressure of others behind him in line. Gendry was being 'that asshole holding up the line' and concluded he wasn't going to get McNuggets today. There was another McDonald's on the other side of town, but that would be a twenty-minute car ride in traffic, and he didn't want to spend twenty minutes of his life getting McNuggets.

"Fuck. Fine, I'll get a quarter pound with cheese meal."

Forty minutes later he was at home and he finished off his quarter pounder. It wasn't as good as the McNuggets he desired but it would do. The processed beef sunk into his stomach and gave him a comfortable heft. The silence of the apartment, their apartment, had haunted him lately. He missed Arya's laugh and her voice. But, he needed to be alone right now. He needed to think and he needed some help. His greasey fingers tapped upon his keyboard as he finished his posting to a relationship website.

Subject: Do I tell my wife I kissed another woman?

Posted by: anonymous-stupid-person

I've never posted anything like this before so sorry if I seem like a spaz. I'm a twenty-something guy and have been married for a little over three years now. My wife and have been together since we are teens and have been friends since childhood. In early 2007 my wife got offered a job at a law firm. She's always wanted to be a lawyer, and loathed her old job, so I told her go for it. What started out as a forty hours a week job turned into a sixty and then eighty hours a week. I barely saw her and when I did she was a total zombie. During that time I started a friendship with a co-worker. It started totally platonic but as my wife pulled away I found myself more and more going to her for emotional support. In retrospect I fully admit I was having an 'emotional affair' with this co-worker (well my wife was having an 'emotional affair' or something like that with her job, but two wrongs really don't make a right.). But that's not my problem. How I wish that was just my problem.

The other day I had an...emotional...emergency and instead of turning to my wife I turned to my friend. She talked me 'off the ledge' whereas my wife wasn't there. I didn't try to call her, because frankly I didn't think she would answer. The next day I kissed my friend in what I now call the 'dumbest fucking thing' I've ever done. I think my wife is starting to disconnect from her job and wants to get things back on track with me, but I literally kissed another woman two days ago. It was just one kiss, no tongue (does that matter?), and I have since cut ties with the friend. I'm not sure how I'll deal with work – but getting a knew job is probably an option. For all intents and purposes the kiss was a one time thing and all ties have been cut with that friend.

Anyways my question – do I tell my wife? Things are pretty strange between us right now and this would be the worst time to tell her this...then again when would be a good time? My wife is totally aware of the relationship I had with the friend, but for the kiss. She never liked it, but I truthfully believe she didn't say anything because she didn't want to fight about the crazy hours she was doing. Do I just keep it a secret or do I tell her?

It felt odd typing on his laptop. In their home they had 'Gendry's' laptop and 'Arya's' PC, but they both used them both. During the past year or so Gendry had taken to using her PC for most of his computer needs. She wasn't around so he could devote a few hours a night to his adventures in World of Warcraft. After his delve for guidance into the internet he planned to pop on her computer and ravage Azeroth with his mighty Tauren druid, Beefcake of Thunder Bluff. He hadn't given a lot of time to Beefcake lately, preferring to spend his nights with Bella. However that was over and he would end up becoming re-acquainted with Beefcake.

He grew weary of his internet search. Searching for the phrase 'I kissed another woman' generated millions of hits by very little knowledge. Opinion ranged from 'tell her now you piece of shit,' to 'don't ever do it again, don't ever tell her, there's no good that can come from telling.' He knew telling her was the moral thing to do, the honorable thing to do, but he doubted if it was the right thing to do. Telling her would only cause her to hate him and maybe never trust him again. But, secrets were a dangerous thing to keep. In the end that's why he decided to post his own situation. Maybe if someone actually knew the specifics they could give him better advice.

He couldn't turn to anyone in his life for advice. If anyone 'real' actually knew what he did it could get back to Arya. He had to control how and when Arya found out, if he in fact told her. Before he turned off his computer he was sure to clear the history. He took a deep breath and decided more was needed. He couldn't chance this secret. Either he was going to tell her or he wasn't. She wasn't going to stumble upon this. Before he was done on his laptop he was sure to set up a password for himself. The laptop had profiles for both of them so she probably wouldn't even notice the password protection. He'd tell her that he password protected it awhile go but she didn't notice. It was of course another lie, another lie he'd have to carry, he realized. She might find that suspicious, but hopefully she wouldn't dig any deeper.

Sick of searching the web he decided to put his thoughts down on legal pad. Just like when he bought his car he was going to make a pro and con list of the situation. It helped him pick out the right car and just because this choice could end his marriage it didn't mean the same principles applied. When he was finished he had multiple reasons to tell her and only two reasons not to.

Do I tell her?

Pro

It's the right thing to do – she deserves to know.

The guilt will fuck you up.

When...if...she finds out it's going to be worse. Tell her now and it will be easier to fix everything.

One lie is going to become two, then three, and if she finds out it will be a far worse.

You won't be able to fix your marriage without being truthful.

You won't be able to go to her for support if you can't be honest.

Con

She might hate you.

She might leave you.

"Fuck," he growled as he wrote the word 'hate' and 'leave.' He couldn't have Arya hate him and he couldn't have Arya leave him. He truly thought she would understand if he told her. But, he wasn't sure. If he lied he could just deal with it himself. He had dealt with shit his whole life. He took care of Eddie and his mother when his piece of shit father left. He took care of Arya when she 'left' her family after college. He could take care of himself now. He could handle this.

He torn the page out of the yellow legal pad and tossed into the garbage. After a moment of further thought he decided to take out the trash. The trash was only half full but he couldn't risk Arya's curiosity getting the best of her. He doubted she would dig into the trash to read a piece of paper, but it would be something stupid that would get him caught. On his walk to the garbage bin on the far side of the parking lot he realized there was no easy choice. He wasn't going to kiss Bella again. Fuck, he wasn't going to even talk to her again, except for maybe awkward small talk at work. But, even after a much-needed indulgence of McDonald's and sorting out the 'pros' and 'cons' of the situation his head was still spinning. The right choice of telling Arya seemed to be the most painful. The guilt might get the better of him but the idea of telling his wife he cheated pierced his heart like a knife. It would just have to be the dull agony of guilt, he could handle it, he totally could.

It's not a good sign if you don't believe you're own bullshit.

He made his way back to their apartment complex and felt his phone vibrate on his hip. He pulled the phone out and saw a familiar name. He knew enough now to check. The phone said three letters, two of them were repeats.

"Dad."

Fuck. Again?

He knew better this time. He just ignored it and eventually the phone went to voice mail.

Ten minutes later he was back in the house and on Arya's computer. It was almost two o'clock and wanted to relax before tonight. If he was going to babysit the impish Tyrion it would be best to have a clear head before hand. If he wasn't going to tell Arya this was the right thing to do. Let life go on like nothing happened. So, he unleashed his 'Beefcake' on lowbies in Stranglethorn Vale. Mercilessly killing people far out classed by his druid was the exact kind of mind fun he wanted. The puny alliance cowered under his power and connection to the Earthmother.

(Mid chapter Author's Note: I'm such a fucking nerd. Anyways, back to the story, something important is about to happen)

A bit later his phone buzzed again. This time it was a text from his brother. Eddie was working on the in Oregon now, so he was two hours behind, and probably on his lunch hour.

Hey you at work?

No, have plans tonight. Got a half day. Relaxing, playing some WoW. What's up?

You should call dad.

"Eddie...what the fuck?" he asked out loud. Gendry knew Edric didn't have the same disdain for their father that he did. Eddie knew he was a drunk, and a shitty father, but he never received the 'special' attention that Gendry did.

Yeah, he called. I didn't answer.

You should call him. He needs to talk to you.

Fuck him.

Don't say that, he's our dad.

Gendry didn't answer that text. He didn't need this shit today, so he went back to his game. He'd deal with Eddie later.

If you don't call him...at least call mom.

To Gendry's knowledge the 'Baratheon' clan had reconciled this last Christmas. For the first time in over ten years his mother and father met for Christmas, along with Eddie. Gendry and Arya were of course invited, but they didn't go. Arya couldn't be pulled away from the case, and Gendry would have rather gouged out his eyes. It was the one time Gendry was thankful that Arya was totally addicted to her job. He got to use her as an excuse instead of telling his mother that he wasn't coming home for Christmas because he hated his father.

The mighty Beefcake entered his feral cat form and ripped into the unsuspecting flesh of some poor piss-ant gnome warlock. Gendry was enjoying raining fury, but thought of moving on some PVP, but he had another call. This time it was his mom. He could ignore his father, and his brother, but unfortunately he couldn't ignore his mom. He wasn't in the mood for any more guilt today from avoiding problems and if he didn't answer his mother's call he'd have another fucking thing on his mind.

"Hello?" he snapped at the phone, more annoyed then he intended.

"Well, hello to you too. How's you're day? Have off work?"

"Yeah, I'm going to Tyrion's bachelor party tonight. Want some time in the afternoon to rest up."

"Well..." she said and then paused like all mother's did. "...just be responsible and don't do anything you'll regret."

"Thanks...mom. What did you want?"

"...Your father needs to talk to you."

"Fuck! You too!? First Eddie, now you! What the fuck is going on!" He yelled into the phone, the first time he could ever remember yelling at his mother.

"Gendry...are you okay?" she asked, clearly startled by his tone.

"I'd be better if you and Eddie stopped trying to get me and dad to have a hallmark moment."

"Your father is just trying to make up for what he did. I know he wasn't...isn't...the best of fathers. But, he is your father."

"He isn't my father," he told her. "He's just some guy who knocked you up."

"Gendry! Don't talk to me like that!"

He was tempted to tell his mother to 'fuck off' but he knew that wasn't the proper course of action. She didn't deserve to be the target of his misplaced anger. "Sorry, mom. I'm just tried."

"It's okay honey, but please...please...just call your father."

"I don't have anything to say to him."

"He needs to talk to you."

"What does he need to talk to me about?"

"...I can't tell you."

"What? Why?"

"It's your father's business and he asked me not to. He wants to tell himself. So please just call him." Sensing she had yet to make the sale she added, "he won't stop trying until you talk to him."

"Fine. I'll talk to him."

"Good..." she said, and sounded like she had more to say.

"I've got to go. Bye, mom." He hung up the phone and considered his options. He could ignore his father and see if that prick keep trying to call. Or he could call him and get it over with. He knew it was a mistake, but he wanted this done. He had enough shit bothering and didn't need his father in his head. If his father had something he wanted to tell him, Gendry would give him the chance. It would probably be bullshit and then they would never talk to each other again.

Gendry scrolled through his contacts. First was Arya. With any luck he wouldn't have to talk to her after this conversation. A panic attack was the last thing he needed today. Next was Bella. The the unintended irony of alphabetical order meant she was number two on his list. Not for long though. He knew at some point he would have to, so he went ahead and removed that contact.

"Are you sure you want to delete?" the cell phone asked.

"Yes," Gendry selected, and she was banished from his phone. It stung a bit knowing he wouldn't be texting his friend anymore, but it had to be done.

Next was 'dad'. Truthfully he should have had his father in the 'B's' after Bella. He should have been labeled 'bastard.' Or in the 'A's' with Arya labeled 'asshole.' There wasn't even a good reason to for his father to be in his phone. His mother gave him the number two years ago hoping that Gendry would reconnect with Robert. Hoping that her family would come back together in some way. Even though she had divorced that fucking man she still talked to him and it bothered Gendry to no end that she did that.

Gendry took a deep breath and called his father.

"Hello? Gendry?" his father answered the phone in a surprised tone.

"Hi...dad."

Didn't say 'Hi asshole.' That's a good start.

"Did you get my voice mail?"

"No." Gendry didn't want to listen to his father's voice anymore than he had to. If he was going to call him there was no reason to listen to the voice mail as well. Like Bella, after this conversation his phone would be wiped clean of that voice mail.

"Ohhh, well, I need to talk to you about something..." his voice began to break with a sob, "something very important."

"Okay..." Gendry said with a sigh. He stood in front of the couch and lazily gazed out the window, doubting whatever his father had to say was important.

"Gendry...Gendry..." his voice again broke with a sob. "I'm sorry. It's really hard for me to say."

"What do you have to tell me?"

"I...have cancer."

"...what?"

"I have liver cancer. The doctor told me last week."

"Ohhh...I'm...I'm sorry to hear that." Gendry staggered back to the couch as all the air was stolen from his body.

"Yes. Well...that's what I get for a lifetime of drinking," he said with a pathetic, defeated laugh.

"Are...are you going to be okay?"

"They're not sure. I'm starting Chemotherapy next week. After my first round we'll see were I'm at. After that...who knows? They always so fucking vague. Fucking doctors never tell ya what's going to happen. Maybe more Cemo. Maybe they'll hack off part of my liver. Or maybe...maybe...that'll be it."

The phone slipped out of his hands and fell to the ground. "Gendry? Gendry?" he heard his father over the phone. "You there?" Gendry's chest began to heave. There was no tightness to it. It wasn't a panic attack. His heart fluttered and there was coldness on his face. He wiped away a tear that had slid down his cheek and picked up the phone.

"Yeah. I'm here dad."

"I've been a really shitty father. To Eddie, but most of all to you. You deserved so much better than me."

Gendry said nothing, as his forehead began to glaze with sweat and stubborn tears continued to stream down his face.

"I...I don't know how much time I have left. They keep on saying I have pretty good odds, but they've told me to that at best it's fifty-fifty, so I guess to them a coin flip are good odds."

"What...what do you want?" Gendry asked as he fought to keep his voice level.

"I just want to be in your life. I just want to know you, know your wife. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and that I love you. I've always loved you...even if I suck at showing it."

"I...umm...I gotta go."

"Wait...Gendry...don't..." was the last thing Gendry heard before he hung up the phone.

There was silence for just a moment after Robert's voice vanished. The only noise was the pathetic sniffing of Gendry. He again wiped away the tears, his thumbs clearing his face with anger. Robert wasn't worth his tears.

His laptop sat in front of him and logged back on to the computer. It took a minute for to remember the password he had just created. It was an inside joke that his wife didn't know. In fact it was an inside joke with Bella. Arya had never seen 'The Office' so it would never occur to her to type in 'BIGTUNA' as his password. He mindlessly searched for 'Liver Cancer Chemotherapy.' He paged down the screen and saw the side effects of Chemotherapy. Diarrhea, weight lose, and impotence, to name a few. That bastard deserved it for everything he did to his mother, to his brother, and to him. He deserved to lose his hair and shit himself as he slowly decayed. He deserved to suffer. He was going to die.

There was a tug on his heart as he read. His father was going to die. He was going to lose his hair, and his masculinity, and he would shit himself until he died. He was going to suffer. His father was going to suffer.

"Goddamnit. Goddamnit. Stop it!" Why was he crying? Why was this happening? His father wasn't worth this. He was just some asshole who knocked up his mother. He was nothing to Gendry. He would prefer to be a bastard than know that Robert was his father.

Gendry picked up his phone and scrolled down the contacts. The first contact was Arya. He was lying to her, she shouldn't have to deal with this. Bella wasn't there anymore. He couldn't dump this on Brienne, or Sansa, or Tyrion, or anyone else. Eddie lied to him, so did his mother. He was alone.

Alone.

And there was no one he could talk. The phone dropped from his hand and dropped slipped under the couch. He didn't look for it as he rose from the couch and staggered towards the kitchen.

There was one way to deal with this problem, the way his father always dealt with all his problems. He thought of it as a wonderful ironic homage. "Thank God," Gendry said as he pulled a bottle of whiskey out of the cupboard. It stung his throat, washed away some of the pain, some of his uncertainty, and all of the anxiety. For the moment he was left comfortably numb.

AN:

For those that aren't nerds: Taurens are essentially humanoid bull creatures. So, Gendry was a bull...heh. I really wanna go run Karazhan now.

Next Time - we get Tyrion's POV on his current problems and upcoming wedding. Arya and Gendry have a long over-due discussion both Tyrion's bachelor party.