***A/N: To everyone calling Bella stupid for not knowing what those herbs were, please remember what era this is. Knowledge of such things was uncommon back then. She witnessed Victoria eating the very same pastries and drinking the same tea. She thought that meant they were safe. Please try to give her a little slack and keep an open mind. Thanks!

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Chapter XXXVII – For the Good

"Where. Is. Anthony," I repeated slowly when Edward failed to answer me the first time.

Edward sighed. "You know the journey is long, my love."

"No, he should have been here by now. You need to send your fastest riders to scout out their exact location," I demanded.

"Bella, you don't need to be worried about this right now," he tried calming me, but I refused to back down.

"Don't dismiss me!" I shouted at him. "I just lost my baby, and now I want my first baby in my arms so I know he's safe. But you can't even tell me where he is!"

"Because we don't know," he said gently. "They made sure I wouldn't know when they took him, just in case they couldn't trust me enough to ever bring him back. You were supposed to be with them. You choose to stay here."

"So they could be dead by now for all we know," I said shakily.

Edward shook his head. "Bella, you can't think like that, and I certainly don't. The land is hostile right now. I honestly believe they are keeping him somewhere hidden until they can find a safe passage back here."

"It could be years before it's safe," I whispered horrified.

"At this point, all we can do is pray for his safety," Edward murmured.

My heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds. Without knowing if Anthony was even alive, enduring the funeral of my baby girl was beyond torture. It was too much, and the only way to survive it was to go completely numb.

I had been in a daze the entire time my handmaidens dressed me, and I couldn't even focus through the ceremony. I was there, but I completely missed it. Thankfully, Edward had kept it as a private gathering, attended by only the two of us, my handmaidens, and my uncle, Carlisle. I didn't want to have to be concerned about being proper during that time - not that I could have even if I tried - and I was grateful Edward gave me that respect.

Without having a purpose to drive me anymore, I retreated back into the confines of my quarters, where I remained for a number of days. I didn't want to even eat, but as Angela had pointed out, I needed to keep my strength for when my son would finally return to me, so I found a way to force myself to stay nourished, but that was about all I did anymore.

Edward came and checked on me often in those first few days. He was there more than he had been in the previous several weeks combined, but his presence was pointless since I refused to speak to him. I knew he thought I blamed him for our daughter's passing, because he continued to apologize for the stress and our heated words that faithful day; he even apologized for the way we made love prior to my labor, but I didn't blame him… not really anyway. I just had nothing to say. Not to him, not to anyone. The cloud of grief I was consumed by was too thick, and I couldn't see that changing anytime soon.

In addition to Edward's visits, my uncle also came from time to time, but he too found me unengaged. I wasn't sure how long it went on for, but on one particular visit from Carlisle, everything changed…

"Bella, I know you don't want to talk to anyone, but I fear I must have your attention this time. It is of dire importance," he told me intensely.

I heard his words, and the urgency in his voice, but it was still difficult to overcome the darkness within my own mind.

"Is there news of Anthony?" I somehow forced my lips to speak.

"Sadly, no, but what I must discuss with you does pertain to him."

As much as I was desperate to cling to my hollow nothingness, I couldn't help but allow some of that fog to thin so I could focus on my uncle. If it pertained to my son, I must hear him out. He was my only reason for living at the point.

"Are you listening to me?" Carlisle asked unsure.

I nodded, so he nodded back as a response.

"Bella, I know you are in mourning, but it's been more than a month now. You must try to return to some of your duties…"

"My duties?" I questioned confused. "I have no duties. I am nothing except a mother, and I can't even be that because no one knows where my son is."

"Bella, you are the queen, and as such…"

"I'm no queen," I cut him off.

"You are the wife of King Edward, therefore…"

"Our marriage wasn't legal in the eyes of the church," I corrected him. "Therefore I have never been named as Edward's queen, so I can't possibly have any duties as such."

"Then it's time to make it legal in the church. Bella, Edward needs you," he tried reasoning.

I laughed once humorlessly. "He doesn't need me. He has never taken any of my advice."

"He needs you to produce him an heir," Carlisle said unexpectedly.

"I… I have. Anthony…"

"Anthony's whereabouts are unknown," he pointed out. "Without an heir in the security of this palace, Edward's rule is under constant threat."

I swallowed roughly, and then stood up from where I was seated in my rocking chair, and began to pace.

"How does any of this pertain to Anthony?" I asked, choosing to focus on the only part I could currently grasp.

"Bella," Carlisle scolded me. "Don't you understand what I'm telling you? It's time to face facts. Anthony may not return, but if he does, he won't have a home or a father to return to, if you don't do your part and secure another heir for this kingdom soon. If Edward is overthrown without an heir, hundreds of little boys presumed to be Anthony's age or description, will be slaughtered to ensure he can never rise up. They will never stop hunting him, and that's assuming he's even still alive. You must conceive another child."

"You said he would be safe out there. You said my father and brother would bring him home unharmed. This entire thing was your plan!" I shouted at him in agony. With the veil of my numbness lifted, all of my pain, and grief, and anger resurfaced with a vengeance, and I was definitely taking it out on my unsuspecting uncle.

"I can't apologize to you enough. Unfortunately, sometimes plans go askew. All we can do now is try to save what's left of this kingdom, and the only way to succeed in that is for the king to have an heir."

"He has one. Find my son!"

"Its not that simple. If Anthony returns…"

"When he returns," I corrected him.

"When Anthony returns, he will take his rightful place as the king's first heir, but it would definitely be more secure to have multiple heirs anyway. Edward must produce another child, Bella. If you can't do that for him…"

"Don't threaten me, Uncle," I seethed.

"Its not a threat, my dear. I just need you to understand the severity of the situation."

"I understand," I replied evenly. "Now, please leave me."

"I'll give you a few days to decide, but then I will have to advise him to remarry."

"Well, what better way to solidify the alliance with Ireland," I replied derisively.

Carlisle stared at me for a long moment, and then he nodded. "Princess Victoria may very well be what's best for this kingdom at this point," he said sympathetically. "A nation can't be led by the heart, it needs to be led by the king's head, and I'm sorry to say, right now, you just aren't good for this kingdom or this king."

"So you want me to walk away from him?" I asked no louder than a whisper.

"What I want, and what's good for the kingdom, are two different things. I sincerely hope you can find a way to regain control of your emotions, and be the queen our king needs… otherwise, you need to let him let you go."

He lifted my hand, and brought it to his mouth, before taking his leave. I knew his words weren't meant to be cruel, but I couldn't help but feel a wave of bitterness towards him. My feelings towards my one time passionately loving husband had numbed during that devastating time, however I certainly wasn't ready to give up on him… or was I?

I was faced with the prospect of losing Edward to Victoria before, but I could never allow it. However after losing my children, I just wasn't sure I was strong enough to fight against it anymore. I was nothing more than a hollow shell of the woman I used to be, and at that point, I wasn't even sure if I could feel anything at all, let alone come up with some kind of plan to overcome the obstacles before us.

"Afternoon tea, Your Grace," Angela said as she walked into the room and interrupted my internal contemplation.

I smiled graciously at my dearest friend and most loyal confidant, and I wondered if she could possibly give me any advice on what to do.

"Angela, would you mind sitting with me for a while?" I requested softly.

"Of course not," she said with a surprised smile – clearly it had been a while since I actually had a real conversation with her. I hadn't had much of a conversation with anyone since I lost my baby.

Despite my lack of social engagement, Angela had been bringing me afternoon tea every day, and usually it went untouched, however since I asked her to sit, she brought over the tray and poured me a cup.

"Please, you have it. I still can't even stomach the idea of tea since drinking Victoria's that day," I told her while scooting away just the smallest amount in order to avoid the smell.

"Princess Victoria gave you tea before… before your labor?" Angela asked tentatively.

"Yes. I was attempting to find a way to get along with her… It didn't work."

"Hmm, do you have any idea what kind of tea it was?" she then asked strangely.

I shook my head no, but then I remembered. "Oh, she said it was raspberry leaf, I believe. It was very bitter. I actually thought she poisoned it, but she was drinking out of the same kettle."

Angela looked troubled.

"What is it?" I asked her gently.

"I have heard of certain herbs that can be harmless to most people, but can induce labor in pregnant women… I may be mistaken, but I think raspberry leaf is one of them."

"What?" I nearly spat. And then it hit me. Victoria's words after my daughter had just passed. 'I should have given you the tea and pastries sooner'. "Angela… I think Victoria killed my baby."

In that moment, I was convinced my daughter was murdered, but before I could go to Edward with that fact, I needed proof. Angela and I rushed to the palace library, and researched anything and everything they had on herbs. Unfortunately, there was nothing about induction of labor.

"The healers who wrote these books may not be aware or acknowledge the use of herbs for such things… but I think I know someone who can help us," Angela told me.

She was gone for a torturously long few hours, and when she returned, she was not alone.

"This is Kebi. She is a practitioner of herb medicines. It's not a legal practice, so she is risking a lot to be here," Angela introduced her.

"I promise, you have my discretion," I assured her.

She nodded once. "There are several herbs that can induce early labor. One is raspberry leaf."

"And the pastires?" Angela asked me. "Didn't you mention that they were strange as well?"

"Yeah, she said they had blue corsh?" I tried remembering.

"Blue cohosh?" Kebi questioned.

"Yes. I think that's what it was… and comfy root," I confirmed.

"Comfrey root," Kebi corrected me. Then she shook her head. "Both blue cohosh and comfy root can begin labor. That along with the raspberry leaf… I'm sorry, your child had no hope."

A twisted stabbing feeling shot straight through my gut. Thinking someone killed your baby, and knowing it as a fact, were two entirely different things. I was devastated that my poor sweet angel was robbed of the chance at life, and I was beyond livid. I wanted that wench's head on a spike. It was such an intense feeling that it completely overtook me, and devoured all rational thoughts. I was out for blood, and at that moment, nothing else mattered to me. Not even the fate of the kingdom could halt my advances at that moment.

"Your grace, perhaps we should think this through," Angela said as she rushed after me. But I refused to pause. I ran straight to the council room, where I knew both Edward and Victoria would be, and I wouldn't even let the guard at the door stop me.

"Ma'am, you cannot enter!" one guard shouted.

"Unless you are planning to physically put your hands on me in order to keep me restrained, and probably injure me in the process, you will not stop me from going inside," I challenged him. Aro was no longer king, so I knew without a doubt our current king would not allow anyone to put their hands on me, and guard knew it as well.

He wasn't brave enough to test my threat.

"Move aside," the presumed head guard instructed the others.

The moment the door was open, I zeroed in on my intended target, and immediately attacked her. There would be no chance for her to defend herself or a democratic trial; I was going to kill her with my bare hands, right then and there…. I only wish I got close enough to have the chance.

It all happened so fast. I barely had the opportunity to even spit out the word "Murderer!" before I was grabbed from behind, and carried out of the room kicking and screaming the entire way back to my quarters.

"Put me down!" I demanded. I had no idea who was holding me, but the moment I was placed back on my feet, I was furious.

"Why did you bring me back here?" I screamed at him.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" Edward finally questioned with a mix of confusion and anger.

"I'm avenging our daughter! Victoria killed her, and now I'm going to kill her," I explained heatedly.

"What are you talking about? Bella, nobody did anything to cause what happened. Sometimes, those things just…"

"She poisoned me!" I cut him off. "She fed me her tea and pastries laced with herbs that start labor. She knew what she was doing. She even said she should have done it sooner. She murdered our daughter!" I cried out.

He stared at me blankly for a moment, and I immediately knew...

"You don't believe me," I concluded as my heart sank into my stomach.

"Of course I believe you," he said unexpectedly.

"You do?"

"Yes," he murmured gently. "I believe you sincerely believe the things you are saying. You are in pain, and you're looking to make sense of it. It's easier to have someone to blame…"

I shook my head in denial. "No. Edward, I'm not making this up. She gave me the herbs. She even snickered when the healers told her our daughter didn't make it…"

"Bella stop," he insisted, but I wasn't finished yet.

"She's a murderer. You even admitted it was possible she was poisoning her father."

"And I murdered mine too. That doesn't mean she would harm an unborn baby," he argued.

"Why is it so hard for you to believe she poisoned me, just like she did her father?" I asked, becoming increasingly more enraged.

"King James is on the mend," he countered. "The healers expect him to make a full recovery. Victoria didn't poison him, and she certainly didn't poison you."

"I have proof!" I shouted at him. "I consulted a practitioner of herbal medicines. She confirmed what I feared. Those ingredients in Victoria's pastries and tea cause labor."

"Bella," he said while rubbing the spot between his eyes, as if he suddenly was struck by a severe headache. "There is a reason herbal medicine is outlawed. It's all falsities designed to swindle people out of money."

"This woman wasn't fraudulent. Angela can attest for her. She heard every word," I tried convincing him.

"I don't doubt Angela heard what the woman had to say, but that still doesn't mean it's right."

"Blue cohosh and comfrey root!" I said in a rush, desperate for him to believe me, even if only fractionally. "Contact your healers. Ask them if they ever heard of those herbs causing labor… and raspberry leaf tea."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Bella, I've had raspberry leaf tea many times, and nothing happened to me."

"Have you ever been pregnant while drinking it?" I retorted.

He huffed. "Clearly not. I'm sorry, I just fail to see how a plant can be harmless to everyone except an unborn child. It just doesn't make sense."

"Just because you don't understand it, doesn't make it any less true. You're too blinded by a pretty face and flaming hair to even try to see the truth," I snapped at him.

"Bella, you're being irrational. You're lashing out…"

"I certainly am lashing out. She killed our baby!"

"That's enough now. I don't have time to sit here and listen to this."

"You don't have time to avenge your murdered daughter?" I asked incredulously. "You're just going to look the other way and continue to work with that devil like what she did was nothing? How can you even call yourself a father?" I cried.

"Damn it. Babies die!" he screamed at me in an explosion of anger. "It happens all the time. Its painful, but people move on. I'm sure as hell not going to lose our only chance at saving the kingdom by accusing our biggest ally of such absurdities! You are completely out of your mind this time."

I was utterly speechless. We had fought so many times in the past, but never could I have imagined he'd say such words to me in that manner. I felt like he just kicked me in the stomach, and left a giant gaping wound from the impact. Whatever loving affection I had for him as his wife, was buried the instant he belittled my pain as if it was common. How dare he!

He must have realized the severity of his words, because his voice abruptly softened. "Bella, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why shouldn't you have? It's clearly how you feel. You don't need to censor yourself on my account. You're the king. You can say what you want."

"That's not what I meant, or what I wanted to say. I know you're still grieving, but you have to understand, I can't jeopardize this alliance right now."

"You can't, or you won't?" I challenged him. "I'm not crazy or just being irrational. She murdered our baby."

"Let's say you're right…"

"We don't have to just say it, I am right," I said doubtlessly.

"Regardless. Without the Irish army, we are lost."

"So you're going to just let her get away with it?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do! I warned you that life of a monarch is ruthless, and you said you could handle it. Overlooking animosities for the sake of the kingdom is part of that."

I wiped a rogue tear from my cheek. "This isn't a mere animosity, Edward. She murdered our baby."

He shook his head subtly in disagreement. He still didn't believe me, and the last drop of faith I had in him was lost. I was lost. Everything was lost, and I didn't think any of it could ever be recovered.

"I guess you were right before. I should have left with my father and brother. I would have been back with Anthony by now, and my baby would still be alive."

"You don't know that," he tried reasoning, but I was done listening to him.

"She was alive, Edward. She was alive, and beautiful, and healthy. There wasn't anything wrong with her besides being too little. She would have been fine if I wasn't stupid enough to consume anything Victoria offered. But I was trying to do what you asked. I was trying to befriend her, even though I knew it was impossible. Because of my horrendous mistake, my baby lost her life."

"She was my baby too," he mumbled quietly.

"No she wasn't. You haven't even mourned her. You just moved on like she never even existed."

"That's not true. I have gone down to visit her in the mausoleum almost every day. You think I don't care, but that couldn't be further from the truth. What happened to her was terrible, but it's no ones fault."

"Yes, it was, it was yours," I seethed, and then it was my turn to explode. "You failed to protect us. You invited the devil to live with us, and you didn't even make sure she was properly monitored. You did this, and I will never forgive you. Just being in this room with you makes me sick. I hate you! I hate everything about you. Living under Aro was so much better, because at least we could blame him when things went wrong. And he always made damn sure to avenge his children when they were crossed. You may be a better king than he was, but you have completely failed as a father and husband. I honestly hate you!"

He stared at me full of shock and hurt, and then he shook his head again. "You said you would always stand by me," he murmured.

"And you said you would always pick me over everyone else. I guess we were both wrong," I told him bitterly.

"Bella, I can't break ties with the Irish. Why don't you understand that? I would do anything for you. You know that. Anything else."

"I don't want anything else," I retorted. "But I promise you one thing, if I ever get into a position to kill Victoria myself, I'm going to take it. You can't punish her due to her alliance? Well, I am bound by no such obligation."

"Bella, Volterra is allied with Ireland. You are the queen of Volterra. You have to…"

"I am not the queen!" I shouted at him. "Our marriage wasn't legitimate. You and I are nothing! So you can command me to stay here, and force me to continue to be your whore if that's what you wish, but being here will only make it easier for me to find a way to kill Victoria. I will not fail the way I failed killing Aro before. And once I've killed her, you'll be forced to execute me in order to appease King James."

"Bella, please stop this," he whispered. "I know you're upset and saying things you don't mean… but I'm begging you, please stop," he asked desperately, looking far more like someone broken than a king.

I shook my head in refusal. "I won't stop until she's dead."

"You want me to send you away?" he concluded, finally understanding. I couldn't stay there with him anymore. My anger, and despair, and thirst for vengeance made me a liability to him, even I could see that. Carlisle was right after all – I had to let Edward let me go.

"I want you to let me kill Victoria, but since you clearly won't, I need you to let me leave here."

"Where would you go?" he mumbled almost incoherently.

I shook my head with more tears escaping down my cheeks. "I don't know. To find Anthony."

"You'll never find him," he said gently. "You could search forever and never come close. Your only chance of ever seeing him again, is to stay here. This is where your father and brother are bringing him as soon as they can."

I nodded in agreement. "Then I'll stay… but not here. I'll go out to the village and try to make some kind of life for myself until he gets back."

"Its not safe right now. The villages are in ruins," he argued softly. He stared passed me blankly for a few long moments, and then he sighed in what sounded like defeat. "You can stay in your uncle's quarters, if you wish… and when Anthony does return… I won't stop you from leaving with him."

"You won't?" I asked stunned. "But you need an heir."

"As you pointed out already, that's not your problem. I've known from the beginning that this life wasn't right for you… and I won't force it upon Anthony either."

I nodded in acceptance. He was right. I was never meant to be a queen, and I was grateful he was willing to give Anthony the chance at a normal life… if he was even still alive at that point.

"I don't want to live with my uncle. I will find a vacant apartment amongst the servant' quarters."

"Bella," he tried protesting, but I put my hand up to stop him.

"Please. Just… let me go. It's best that way anyway. Most servants don't have access to the royal quarters. Your princess should be safe from me if I'm there."

"Bella…" he started again, but there was nothing left to say. The conversation was over, our sham of a marriage was over. There was no point in wasting any more of his time.

"Good luck with everything… and I do mean that sincerely," I told him, before turning and quickly retreating from the room.

It was true that most of our words were just falsities said in anger and heartache, but I honestly believed it was for the best. I just didn't have what it took to rise above my personal vendetta the way a royal had to. I understood why Edward needed to keep in good faith with Ireland, I truly did, but I just couldn't stand by it.

For the good of the kingdom, I was done pretending to be queen…

...