Chapter 38

Sam walked over to the table where her teammates sat in the commissary. It seemed like it had been along time since they all found themselves here, eating a meal at the same time.

She sat across from Jack and tried to reign in her grin, but life was too good right now to conceal her happiness.

Jack looked at her perplexed. "Carter, odd choice for breakfast; chicken Caesar salad?"

"I guess it made me think of Anna and Minnesota." She smiled and settled into her seat.

Jack shifted uncomfortably, "Who's Anna? And, when did you go to Minnesota?" Daniel and Teal'c looked at them oddly.

"Our daughter, Anna…when we were all at the cabin together." Sam reminded him as she rolled her eyes.

He choked on his food as he looked around now thoroughly uncomfortable, "Carter, there are regulations against that sort of thing. I think you need to see the Doc."

Next thing she knew she was in the infirmary, Janet was ordering tests and they had her restrained to the bed. Restrained? She saw her team watch from a distance. Jack looked confused and concerned. "Jack!" Sam screamed now very alarmed, "Jack! You have to save her. She's in danger. Don't forget her! Please, don't forget us!"

Sam woke with a start.

"It's alright, Mama," Anna placated and smoothed her mother's hair. Anna was leaning on the rails of their hospital beds. "Just a bad dream." Sam heard the erratic beeping of the monitor. Jack looked up briefly from his paperwork to make sure she was alright, but nightmares had become a regular occurrence with both Sam and Anna. He didn't ask what it was about, neither did Anna.

Sam looked over at Anna. Her daughter was real, safe, and here with them. She looked back in the direction Anna was facing and saw the movie she had fallen asleep during: Peter Pan.

She snaked her good arm through the bed rails and around Anna then closed her eyes briefly; still trying to wake up. Then took the moment to get her bearings and remind herself of her current real situation. It was late into day three; day one being the day they had arrived here at the SGC from her daughter's attempted kidnapping, day two was just a series of blurs, and now here they were… day three... the slow recovery was intolerable.

Jack was doing paperwork, Anna was watching a video and Oscar was sitting on the floor between Jack and the door, very protectively. Every shift in position was uncomfortable, but the drugs kept the pain to a minimum. The disconcerting feeling of the pull of the stitches brought her even more fully into the present and she was reminded that she would not be going into the commissary on her own anytime soon.

Sam thought back to yesterday morning when Anna woke to their new reality, back here in the SGC. Anna was upset at seeing Sam like this, but together they were able to reassure her. Jack took Anna to breakfast and Janet was able to go through the full extent of Sam's injuries… "You have four broken ribs, a broken collar bone, we had to remove your spleen and one of your kidneys is still questionable. The sniper's bullet punctured one of your lungs, but it had lost momentum and didn't do a lot of damage. We repaired the tear, but if you're not careful-" John Doe certainly knew how to inflict damage.

Today was turning out very similar to yesterday…just a series of blurs…moments of being barely asleep and barely awake. She remembered Cassie bringing in Oscar last night, much to Janet's disapproval. Anna was more at peace with him in the room and Jack seemed to appreciate the added level of security. He may look like a sweet dog, but as her Dad had learned, he was well trained to protect Anna.

Sam looked for a coherent moment awake with Jack when Anna was sleeping so they could talk, but so far it was too difficult for her to outlast Anna's energy.

Last night Sam wanted to be able to lie in bed and hold Jack and Anna the way she did at the cabin, but all she could do was hold Anna's hand or snake her arm through the rails to wrap around her for a little while. Jack sat at a distance from them working mostly. He seemed to be trying to stay busy, at least when she was awake. She had never seen him this attentive to his paperwork.

Sam woke when a nurse came in to check on her after Anna had gone to sleep for the night. She waited for the nurse to leave then took advantage of the opportunity to have a quiet moment with him. "Jack?" she called softly.

"Yeah?" He answered in a tired voice, took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. "Need something?"

"No…"

He made his way toward her. "You sure?"

"How are you doing?"

"Just peachy." He said with a labored smile.

She looked at him skeptically, but had little energy to confront him, "The device?"

"Yeah, we got it."

"Did it…?"

"What?"

"Did it erase any of your memories?" she asked fearful of how much he might have lost.

"Some. Don't worry about it. You need your rest, Carter." He distanced himself with a step back as well as the way he addressed her.

She wanted to sit up more to see his face better, but was finally somewhat comfortable in her current position, "How much?"

"I don't know. Just have ideas about what I am supposed to know."

"Come here."

She saw his hesitation. He wasn't impatient with her, just seemed to take a moment to steel himself before making his way back to her. She could see the struggle in his eyes to maintain his determination.

She took his hand, they both paused for a moment at the only physical contact they had shared today. "Close your eyes," she said and saw him tense, roll his eyes, but then relax to her touch. "Can you see Anna as a baby?" He nodded and relaxed a little more. "Do you remember the day you taught her to ride her bike?" He nodded and a bittersweet smile flashed across his face. "The day we were married?"

He opened his eyes, "Last week in Vegas?"

She smiled grateful he remembered that, "No, the other time." He was quiet. "Do you remember coming back to work at the SGC after we got married?" He was still quiet and could not even shake his head. "Almost losing Anna?" He nodded at the last one. "How we beat the Ori?" she asked quietly.

He let go of her hand, "I know we beat 'em."

The device seemed to have erased part of his memory, sometime between beating the Ori, which they hadn't yet begun to fight, and when she was pregnant with Anna. Years of his alternate timeline memory were gone. Part of her was selfishly grateful and relieved; another part hopeful that he had not lost anymore. He had been struggling these past few weeks trying to remember anything he could to help them and she didn't know if it was causing damage, but did know it had caused him a lot of pain. He struggled living in a world with memories that conflicted with actual events, now he could finally let go of those. There were other memories she wished he was relieved of having as well, like the day she had been killed.

"Still have my report, so we know some."

"And I remember our conversations." She assured him that all was not lost. "We beat 'em; we will this time too."

He nodded and squeezed her hand again. "Get some rest. Janet will throw us out if you don't show some improvement tomorrow. Sleep." She closed her eyes and he carefully released her hand.

The next day was proceeding dangerously similar to the previous. Sam knew she was still not making very good progress with her recovery. She woke briefly, just long enough to spend some drowsy time with Anna and then slept too lightly for it to be restful. Janet blamed her lack of progress on too little rest, too much worrying and too much activity in the room. Sam was certain Janet wouldn't let this continue much longer. She had already taken Jack out to the hall for a good talking to twice.

Sam needed to be here when Anna woke from her nightmares and when Jack woke from his as well. Jack was better at concealing his nightmares not being hooked up to any monitors to give away the frenetic beat of a panicked heart or the unrestrained screams of a six year old girl, but he couldn't hide everything from her. Watching someone hold a gun to your daughter's head was much more intense than memories of similar experiences. Jack was dealing with this on an entirely different level now, too.

Sam also felt frustrated at not being able to assist with the investigation, but she couldn't even get her head out of the fog from the pain meds. Jack gave her minimal briefings on the status of the investigation… "They got away. No surprise. We knew they were professionals, from the scene at Daniel's. SG 6 and 12 are still investigating. The hotel room was swept for evidence. All of our belongings were recovered. No, you can not have your laptop, yet. John Doe was brought back to the SGC for postmortem. The only familiar faces hotel security cameras caught were of John Doe. The security camera in the elevator had been disabled."

Jack wouldn't leave them for long. Sometimes he had to run to the gate, attend a meeting, or hunt down someone for clarification on a report. Every time he had to leave he made sure she was not alone with Anna and she knew why. She wasn't strong enough to protect her own daughter. Even with Oscar and the 2 SF's at the door, he would make sure there was someone else he trusted here while he was gone, usually Daniel.

Thankfully he would not call anyone to come to Sam's recovery room to conduct business and she appreciated not having half the base in here while she was drooling on her pillow.

Still Jack was distant. Not cold or cruel, just keeping more to himself. Sam struggled with what she wanted or needed from him. He was the only one she trusted to keep Anna safe while she was in her current dilemma, but she was concerned she would soon lose him to his need for vengeance. Then there were moments Sam would wake and see Anna sleeping on Jack's lap and she knew some how they would all be alright. They had to be.

"Need anything?" Jack asked matter-of-factly as he did several times each day.

"No."

"Are you in pain?"

"No, I'm fine." It had become the staple of their conversation. He worried, she assured. She hated this. She needed to get up out of this bed. He was overly-protective and she felt she was adding too much to his concerns. She needed to get better fast.

He looked at his watch. "Cassie's going to be here to go to lunch with us soon, Anna."

"I wanna stay here with Mommy."

"I'm alright, Anna. Uncle Danny's going to come and visit with me."

Anna reluctantly climbed down and went for her shoes and they left just after Daniel arrived.

When Daniel came to sit with her he would give her updates on Teal'c, Vala and the new guy that was trying to convince him that he was the new SG-1 team leader. Jack would have enjoyed watching Daniel give the new guy a hard time if he wasn't so intensely focused right now.

"But you think he'll do alright?" Sam asked Daniel.

"We'll see. Who woulda thought I'd last this long?" She felt bad, because she knew Daniel really wanted to use this opportunity to go to Atlantis. Try something new…"Well look at you, you're looking better today."

"Liar," she accused. She knew she did not look that much better. It was day four now and Janet would soon act on her threats to remove Jack, Anna and Oscar from her room. "What do you think?" Daniel was looking at her expectantly for an answer to a question she did not hear.

She shook her head, not having heard the question.

"I said…Do you think it would have been possible for someone else to piggyback on that device with Jack's memories? Maybe the person who gave you the device set it up?"

"Sure, I supposed. I know so little about it or even how I came into possession of it."

"So it was programmed to send Anna back and the person who pushed the button goes along for the ride?... in this case Jack. Seems like a strange device," Daniel continued thinking out loud. "Maybe someone else was programmed into it as well or didn't even know Jack would get his memories in the process. Maybe you messed with it?"

"Who me?" She smiled weakly. "Sure. Could be."

"If so, the other person would have probably started taking Zomig for his or her headaches about the same time, since we found one on the floor at my place, and maybe even hospitalized like Jack about the same time Anna was sent back." He continued his speculations.

"Yeah, we've already looked into the armed forces medical records, nothing suspicious came up. We've been trying to expand the search, but-"

"We know someone who can help."

"Janet?" She had forgotten.

"When Jack was accused of assassinating Kinsey. She ran a search for our suspect's combination of medications."

"Yes, but Zomig is more common than a specific combination of epilepsy medications."

"Yes, but if he-"

"Or she."

"-was hospitalized about the same time."

"That would narrow the search significantly."

"Precisely." Daniel turned to go.

"Wait Daniel, how is Vala?"

"Just fine." He answered suspiciously.

"She didn't suffer any-"

"She's fine. We are the ones who suffer with her good health." He smiled and held up his bracelet as a reminder.

"Can you bring her here, to come and see me?"

"Why?" his eyes narrowed with suspicion as he walked back toward her.

"She can use the healing device."

"Sam, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I can't sit here another day. I have to be able to be here for Anna and Jack and to be a part of the investigation to help find these people. Please, go talk to Janet and then bring Vala to me with the healing device. It's in my safe. Here is my pass card and the combination."

He looked at them as she placed them in his hands, wondering at how she had come up with all of this in her state and somehow managed to get the card in her hand, "Jack doesn't know you're doing this, does he?"

"He's going crazy cooped up in here worrying about the two of us. You've seen him. He won't even let me take a nap in here alone. He can't wait for me to heal naturally."

"No, I don't imagine he can," Daniel looked thoughtful. "Alright, I'll get Janet started and bring Vala in. You're sure you'll be alright? Ummm, I mean I'm supposed to stay here with you."

"Seriously Daniel, go. I can't lay here another minute." She pleaded.

"Alright." Daniel agreed reluctantly.

-s-j-s-j-s-j-&-a

"I want to take her home - today." Sam said strongly.

Janet rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh yeah, sure. Give me a minute to get your discharge papers… You'll be lucky if I release you later this week and that will only be if you somehow manage to get some decent rest."

"Check me." Sam demanded as she sat up. Steady, but still a little weak.

"What did you-?" Janet asked concerned.

"Vala healed the lung puncture, the ribs and spleen scar tissue area, she's going to do the collar bone and kidney later, Daniel got called away and she couldn't finish. I can go home now." She stated.

Janet looked apologetic, "You're not here only for medical reasons, Sam. There are security reasons you all are still here." Janet looked at the guards posted at the door. "I don't have the authority."

Sam looked frustrated. She wanted out of here, but in truth she knew this was the safest place for Anna right now.

Janet finished her evaluation and as soon as she left, Sam went over and closed the door. It felt good to have some control over her privacy again. She took advantage of the chance to finally take a shower and get all of the blood of John Doe off her completely. Following the shower she changed into a fresh set of BDU's and finally felt better.

It had been painful to get dressed with the still broken collar bone and tender side, but now she sat on the edge of the bed trying to tie her shoes. It was more challenging than she had anticipated and all of the activity was draining her energy.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jack hollered concerned.

"Tying my shoes, Sir." She responded cheerfully. "Well trying, anyway." She looked around him for Anna, but she wasn't with him. Janet had told him...

"How did Vala get in here?" He said roughly, trying to maintain his command, but it lost some of its power when he grabbed her foot and tied her boot for her.

"I asked her to come by."

He put her foot down and pulled up the second one. "With the healing device that requires access to your lab and safe?"

"Yes." Jack had just been so worried it took him a few minutes to register the color in her cheeks and her smile.

Sam resituated her arm in the sling, then stood sure and mostly steady, "I'm ready to get back to work, General."

"I don't think so; Frasier hasn't cleared you for duty yet."

"Just a few hours in my lab?"

"You should spend some time with your worried daughter."

"Jack, look I'm fine," she said softly and smiled reassuringly. He had been so worried these past few days. Worried if she would be alright, worried someone would get through security when she was so vulnerable, worried someone could still get Anna…

"Sam!" Daniel rushed in. "Jack?" he squeaked surprised to find him here wondering if Jack knew he had helped Sam.

"Yeah, Daniel," Jack didn't take his eyes off of her, until Daniel got closer.

"After Sam and I talked, Janet and I ran a search on Air Force prescribed Zomig."

"Mike already did that, not a very interesting list."

"No, but then Janet broadened the search for anyone prescribed Zomig within the last 3 weeks that had also been admitted to the hospital. One interesting name popped up."

"And?" Jack prodded him impatiently.

Daniel handed over the papers to Jack and looked at Sam, "Malcolm Barrett." Jack looked at the papers. Sam looked incredulous. "He was admitted to the hospital the same night you were for a heart attack, only he was unconscious for 2 days following and on the 3rd day checked himself out against his doctors' recommendations. He was prescribed Zomig a few days later."

Jack was quiet, but he wasn't trying to put the information together. He was putting together his team.

"You said he lost his wife and child to the Ori plague." Sam reminded him.

Jack made to step back and Sam grabbed his arm. "Jack?" She said softly, unsure of what influence she wanted to have on him right now. She was looking at her hand on his arm and so was he. She finally looked up to his face. His eyes pleaded with her not to dissuade him from his mission…

"I'm going after him." He said determined.

She nodded. She wanted to go too, but knew with her arm still in a sling it wasn't going to happen; besides someone needed to stay here with Anna.

He looked to the door impatiently, but turned back to her and tried to smile. "Hold down the fort?"

"Don't hurt him. He's obviously upset."

"He almost killed you," he started…. "He did-" his voice thick with emotion.

"He's working on the same motivation you are; to save his family." She tried to reason with him.

Jack didn't want to hear it. He didn't want him to have a defense when he unloaded his clip into him. He wanted nothing to hold him back, "I'll be back soon." He squeezed her hand, but wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Mommy!" Anna ran in and gleefully wrapped her arms around Sam's legs. Janet and Cassie stood at the door.

Sam smoothed her hair, while still willing Jack to make eye contact with her.

Jack turned and headed toward the door, "Coming, Daniel?" He invited.

"Daddy?" Anna ran to him. "You're leaving?"

"I've gotta go to work. Mommy can take care of you now, but I'll be back soon, princess." Jack finally looked to Sam and pleaded with her for help to let him leave.

"Anna, come on." Sam called her. "Help me get our stuff out of here. I'm sure Aunt Janet has people she needs to take care of. We can go back to our regular quarters, right?"

Jack nodded then turned to go. Daniel looked to Sam then he turned to follow Jack. Daniel understood his job was to take care of Jack; whatever happened. And, try to bring him back to them.