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DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, all rights to Cassandra Clare.
Chapter 37.
*TESSA'S P.O.V.*
When I look at the pregnancy test, I see a little pink plus sign staring back up at me. Positive. By the angel, can this really be true? Am I really pregnant? There's only one person who can confirm this.
I grab my phone and dial Magnus' number with shaking hands. I hate to tear him away from little Sophie at this time, but I need to know if in nine months, I'll have my own little baby.
"Well if it isn't my dearest friend." Magus answers the phone, in his usual manner. I smile and say
"Magnus, are there any chances you could come over here, just for five minutes?"
"Well seeing as you're my best friend and I love you, of course I will. Why?" He asks, his tone calm.
"Uhm, I-I took a pregnancy test and it's positive, but I can't rely on just the test." I tell him, trying so hard not to get my hopes up.
"No, you can't. I'll be right over, dear." He says.
"Thank you, and if Jem is here when you get here, please don't tell him why I asked you to come over, firstly he should hear it from me, and secondly there might not be any baby." I say.
"You have my word, see you in a minute." Magnus says. I nod to myself and hang up the phone, hopping more than anything that I am pregnant and everything will be fine.
*5 minutes later*
"Well?" I ask Magnus, as he takes his hands away from my stomach. He doesn't look too happy.
"I'm sorry Tess, the test was faulty, you're not pregnant." He says. I feel my heart sink into my stomach, and suddenly the joy I was feeling, leaves me. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in all my life.
"Oh." Is all I can manage to say. I feel Magnus wrap his arms around me, and I burry my face in his chest, holding onto him tightly, like I did all those years ago when I lost Will, feeling like the only person in this world who can keep me sane right now, is Magnus.
"I'm so sorry darling, but it's not as if you'll never have a child." Magnus quietly says. Oh it certainly feels that way.
"It feels like I won't. Magnus, Jem and I have been trying for months now, that potion is completely out of my system, we never use protection and we're trying nearly every night, and still nothing. I'm almost convinced something is wrong with either my fertility, or Jem's." I say, tears rushing down my face. All I want right now is to have a baby, but I really don't feel like it will happen.
"Oh darling, don't be ridiculous. You were both checked for infertility and both got all the clear. Sometimes, these things just take a lot of time. I know you only tried a month for your Lucie, but you were younger then, much younger. It will happen, just give yourself time. And stop stressing over it, that won't help you conceive. And look, if worse comes to worse, there is IVF and surrogacy, and adoption." Magnus says. He's right, maybe Jem and I should look into fertility treatment, it might boost our chances of conceiving.
"You're right; IVF is a good plan B." I say.
"Aren't I always right? If you aren't pregnant by this time 6 months from now, talk to James about IVF, in the meantime just relax and try not to stress so much." He tells me, his soothing tone calms me down.
"Okay. Thank you, Magnus. I really don't know what I'd do without you." I say. He smiles and says
"Anything for my darling Tessa. Where is that boyfriend of yours?" He asks, looking around the house.
"He's gone for a walk with Clary; she needed to talk to him." I say.
"Ah, so that's where she got off to. Well since you're not busy, would you like to come meet your goddaughter?" He asks. When Alli was six months pregnant, Magnus asked me to be little Sophie's godmother. I was delighted, just like I was when I Clary and Jace asked me to be godmother to Lucy.
"I'd love to." I say, taking my coat from the back of the coach, where I left it.
"She looks just like her mother, the lucky thing." Magnus says. I'm glad Alli has Magnus and Alec, she's a great young girl and she deserves the very best. And it turns out she is descended from my birth family, the Starkweathers, meaning she is related to me in some manor, and in turn related to Jace.
"I'm so glad she has you and Alec, the poor child has been through too much." I say. Alli told me all about her childhood, and it wasn't a very nice one. Her mother was seventeen when she was born and didn't want her, but she wasn't selfless enough to put her up for adoption, so instead she was raised by her mother's brother, Hodge, for the first 6 or so years of her life, before he was exiled here, to New York, with the Lightwoods. Alli's father came back into the picture around that time, but he had no interest in her either. Her grandparents had died a few years before she was born, and nobody thought to tell me of the poor child, so she was left in an abusive, neglectful home. Until her parents found out she was pregnant at sixteen. She tried her best to hide her pregnancy, knowing her parents would kick her out if they found out. Luckily when they did, she had already met Magnus and Alec, so she wasn't left homeless.
"She certainly has. I can't understand why her parents kicked her out for being pregnant at sixteen, when her mother was only seventeen when she got pregnant with Alli." Magnus says.
"Some people are just complete hypocrites like that. I don't know how anyone can throw their child out, for being pregnant at a young age. I remember my Lucie had a pregnancy scare when she was eighteen, and even though I was disappointed in her for having sex so young, I firstly couldn't say anything, because I wasn't married during my first time, and secondly I would never have even thought about throwing her out, I would've helped her in every way I could, no matter what." I say, my heart aching for my baby girl.
"That's because you're a real mother Tess, and a great one, no wonder Jem wants you to have his baby, there's no better mother than you."Magnus says. My heart warms, especially when I picture Jem, in my mind.
"Thank you Magnus. You know you're a wonderful father, I saw how you were when William drew all over that spell, you were amazing, staying so calm like that. A lot of parents would've lost their minds and punished the child." I say.
"William didn't know what he was doing was wrong, he didn't know I needed that paper, it's not his fault and he knows now not to draw on anything someone hasn't given him." Magnus says. He's so right.
"You're so right. So how was the first night with Sophie?" I ask.
"Not too bad, she woke up about three times to be fed and changed but she went straight back to sleep, and William slept through the night." He says.
"That's great. I really can't wait to meet her."I say.
"You'll fall head over heels in love with her the minute you see her, trust me it's impossible not to." He says.
"I believe you." I say.
*At the institute*
"Here she is, wide awake." Magnus says, placing Sophie in my arms. Oh she is absolutely beautiful, with her ink black hair and crystal blue eyes.
"Oh Magnus, she is gorgeous! Hello Sophie, sweetheart. I'm your aunty Tessa." I coo to her.
"William adores her; he's so gentle with her and always wants to be by her side, I'm sensing future parabatia." Magnus says.
"Nah, I think he and Lucy will be parabatia, they're so close already, I remember having that sort of bond with Jace when he was about 11 and I was 12." Alec says. Lucy and William are very close, and it would be no surprise should they end up parabatia.
"How's Alli?" I ask, worried about how this whole surrogacy is affecting her.
"Okay, she's still a little bit... heartbroken, I guess, and I can't blame her. But I'm going to invite her friend Eric over and while he's with her, I'm going to make her, her favourite breakfast, and then give her some time to bond with Sophie." Alec says. I smile softly at the boy who is so like my William. That is exactly what Alli needs.
"That's exactly what she needs Alec; I'll talk to her tomorrow." I say.
"Alright, I'll let her know." Alec says.
*That night*
"Tess, are you okay?" Jem asks, pausing from putting a shirt on, and sitting beside me on our bed. I didn't tell him about the false positive, I didn't see a need to, but he can sense something is wrong. It's looking like I'll have to tell him.
"I'm okay. Look, maybe tonight we should give trying a miss." I say, not exactly in the mood, after today.
"What? Why? I'm not hurting you, when we try... am I?" he asks, his voice full of worry. I smile and shake my head.
"No, no not at all... I just don't feel very up to it, I think it's coming to that time of the month." I say, looking for any excuse not to have sex tonight.
"Okay, we don't have to have sex tonight; of course we don't, but is something bothering you? I ask because last night you were so eager, we barely made it to the bedroom, and I loved every single minute, but you're just so different today."He says. I guess I have no choice but to tell him.
"It's just... for a while I've not been feeling too well, so this morning I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, but when I got Magnus to confirm it, well there was nothing to confirm, I'm not pregnant." I say, looking down at my hands.
"Oh Tessa, that must've been awful, I wish had've been there to comfort you." He says, taking my hands in his. I shake my head lightly and say
"I'm glad you were with Clary, I didn't want your hopes crushed too". Jem brushes his soft thumb across my cheek and gently says
"Tessa, there's nothing wrong with being disappointed you aren't pregnant. These things take time darling, really they do, when I was brother Zachariah I met a couple who had been trying for two years, they thought it would never happen. Nothing was wrong with either of them and they were both fairly young. A few months later they came back and I was able to confirm their pregnancy, and just nine months later I delivered their twin girls. So you see, it will happen, it's just gonna take a while." I really hope I fall pregnant soon, very soon.
"I love you so much." I whisper, burying my face in his collarbone.
"And I love you. Ni hen piao liang." He whispers in my ear, tickling my neck. I warp my arms around his neck, and pull him closer to me, when he tells me I am very beautiful, in Chinese, like he did all those years ago. I pull him so that he's lying on top of me, and I pull his head down so that his lips meet mine.
"You are perfect, James Carstairs, and I'm so glad I have you, I'm so glad you're going to be the father of my child." I whisper. Jem smiles softly at me and places his hand on my stomach, where our child would be.
"Someday, soon, we won't be able to do this, because you'll have a baby bump." He whispers. I hope more than anything that he's right.
"I hope so." I say, running my hands through his jet black hair, glancing at the silver streak that remains there, all these years later.
"I hope our baby can't inherit that silver streak from me, poor kid would get bullied so badly." He says, half joking and half serious.
"Not for long, with you as a father." I say. I know Jem would never, ever let anyone hurt our child.
"That's true. I love you Tessa."He says, rolling off me and lying beside me, instead.
"I love you too Jem." I say. I soon fall asleep wrapped in Jem's embrace, thinking about the family we'll have one day.
*ISABELLE'S .*
"Isabelle! Simon!" I hear the frantic voice of Zavier, as I walk through the halls of the institute. I see him, alone, by the front doors. I hope everything's okay. It doesn't seem like it though.
"Zavier, what's the matter?" I ask, when I get closer to him, I see tears swimming in his green eyes, and fear, so much fear. Did someone try to hurt him? "Did someone hurt you?" I ask, placing my hand on his arm, concerned for the young boy.
"Not me. Izzy, Sam's in the hospital. She wanted to get something at her so called parents' house; we thought they were at the pub, as normal, so we went alone. But when we got there, her father was there, drunk off his head as usual. Sam went upstairs and got a little stuffed bear from her room. Just as we were about to leave, her father started spewing all sorts of crap about us being irresponsible for giving the baby up for adoption. Sam turned around, looked at him and told him she didn't want our baby to have the horrible childhood she had, the horrible life she had. She said she didn't our baby to resent us like she resents her parents.
I could see how angry he was with her... and... he grabbed a knife from the counter, but Sam only saw it at the last minute and just as she turned to run... he stabbed her in the side, the doctors say it could be fatal to her and the baby."
I needed to add in some real drama. So I hope you liked the Jessa bits, they're going to have their own spin off story once this ends (which will be shortly). And I hope you enjoyed the ending.
Please vote on the poll on my page, as to what Isabelle and Simon should name the baby. (If you want to give suggestions for the name by all means do.) I can't decide on a name, so I thought I'd let you.
So I really hope you enjoyed, please review and vote on the poll.