Fumbling Towards Happily Ever After
Chapter Fourteen – Part Two
Blair pulled her feet beneath her, punched through her phone's history and considered. There had been a steady string of calls from Kat over the last couple weeks; she counted twenty-five separate chances. She hadn't called her back, she hadn't even thought to until Kat had stood and marched past her. What kind of friend was she? Maybe she deserved to be snubbed.
She ought to be planning Penelope's downfall but Blair couldn't bring herself to care. She was too exhausted, the last few months a ragging hurricane of emotions that had all but extinguished her more formidable sides. She preferred to pass her evenings with her closer friends; perhaps she'd just outgrown the rest? Or maybe she was just too tired to scheme today. She laid her phone on the bed and picked up the Eleanor Waldorf original that lay beside it. It was the first time she'd worn one of her mother's designs since the accident. It was from her spring show, it could have been the last but Eleanor had finished her sketches for the summer show before her death. They had enough to carry on through that, beyond had yet to be decided.
Blair smoothed her waist once it was on, stared at herself in the mirror and tried to hold back the tears. It was a bright blue dress that fell to just above knee, bunched at one side and exploded into ruffles at the other. The top was tighter, herring boned through the waist and ending in two wide straps. She had chosen this day to wear her mother's dress because her father had promised that it would be an important one.
"Blair," Harold Waldorf stuck his head into the bedroom. "You're late for dinner."
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Chuck pushed his body off the railing at Clayton House, hiked his feet up the wood and smiled at his bunkmate. He took just one more drag on his cigarette before he started counting. "Three, two, one," Chuck raised his eyes just in time for the bang and the resulting yelling from Deborah.
God," Sebastian managed despite his laughing. "Living for life's small pleasures!"
Chuck just smirked wider as Sebastian stole a quick glance in the window. Chuck didn't need to look; he knew exactly what was happening. He was the cherry bomb expert after all.
Sebastian stood on the trim of the house to get a better look and put his ear to the open window to get a better hearing. "God! You blew up the whole toilet."
"It usually does," Chuck said almost calmly.
"You are so going to get busted for that," Sebastian swore as he jumped back down. He crossed the small space and stood again beside his bunkmate.
Chuck broke his smirk only to breath in more nicotine air. "Why?" He said with equal calm. "I'm the model patient."
Sebastian had to consider that. It was true. Aside from his usual drag at group, Chuck was the dream patient. He spoke openly at individual therapy, did all his journalling, all his schoolwork and more, and followed the rules without complaint. He supposed it was poignant; the one place Chuck could excel was rehab. "You might just be one of the best roommates I've had," Sebastian decided. "Now give me a cigarette." Chuck acquiesced and Sebastian grabbed another spot on the thick pine railing.
Chuck had been gone only a week but in that week the days had turned warmer or maybe Connecticut was warmer than New York ever could be. The branches were no longer bare, buds of leaves starting to fill in what would be soon be lush green. The ceramic boxes were lined with flowers, more stem than colour but that was coming, they were budding already. He could see it in nature, that great moment of anticipation as if something great was about to be realized.
"I love spring," Sebastian put his thoughts to words. "The sun and the wind."
Chuck smiled at the thought.
"It's just warm enough for the girls to sport those short skirts and just windy enough for them to get pushed up right."
Chuck followed the other boy's eyes, to a pair of female patients huddling under a tree to catch a cigarette. So maybe it was a bit early for the tennis skirts but Chuck wasn't complaining. They were trying to hold the edge of their skirts with one hand and a cigarette with the other. It wasn't very successful. Every gust of wind crept their skirts more upward along with Chuck's eyebrows. Maybe spring could grow other things than flowers.
"I heard there's a social on Friday night," Sebastian raised his own brow in contemplation.
"I'm going to be out on Friday evening."
"You're going out?" Sebastian dropped in shock. "How?"
"I have to go to Yale," Chuck explained. "Dean Baraby spoke with the head doctor here. I only have a conditional acceptance to Yale and one of those conditions includes publicity. They want me to have some photos taken."
"And Clayton House letting you do this?"
"I have to," Chuck admitted. "Besides, I'm the model patient."
"What you are is a lucky bastard," Sebastian took an extra long drag on his cigarette.
"If I'm back in time then I'll come," Chuck promised with another look at the blonde and brunette.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
The Waldorf dining table had been filled to capacity. Blair was surrounded by her closest friends and their families. Serena sat beside her mother, Eric beside her. Harold had made a point of including his boyfriend, the approval automatic. Bart sat beside Damien, the lack of that man's son the only true absence in the table. Nate sat on her other side, his parents filing to his side. The rest of the table included the likes of Penelope, Hazel, Kat and Is. She should have informed her father of the changes on that count but then again, she hadn't told Serena yet. Even Cyrus had come, bringing his youngest son Aaron in tow. Cyrus continued to help her with Waldorf Designs, tried to get the paperwork in order for sale or dissolution. Blair had yet to decide.
At the head of their table was Harold Waldorf. He was dressed in a three piece suit that seemed to glow along with him. Roman was beside him. The younger man had taken residence at the Waldorf home shortly after Harold. Blair supposed she should have been offended for her mother's sake. She wasn't though. She could see and understand the affection those two shared. It wasn't the mistaken lust she originally assumed. Despite the age difference, Roman was only turning thirty this year while her father was closer to fifty; the two seemed to work in some strange way. That's why when Harold dinged his glass, chime quieting all talk at the table, Blair had a pretty good idea what was coming. She also knew why it was a circle of her friends rather than her father's. He couldn't be sure how she would react.
"I have the pleasure of announcing," Her father began with a look down the table. He met each of their guests' eyes, holding only Blair's before proceeding up. "That Roman and I have decided to get married."
Blair was startled despite the expectation. It was just hearing the words, seeing the look that her father shared with his lover. Her parent's divorce was something she had always struggled to put behind her, but something in that look helped. Blair took a deep breath and stared down the table. Not all the faces were happy and Blair didn't expect them to be. Harold likely hadn't either. This turn of events would create as many potholes for her as fill them over. She could pinpoint those families opposed but was thankful none were in the grouping she cared about. She might have doubted Bart at one point, but living as a stepfather to Eric had changed him. She kept her eyes moving and when they caught on Cyrus she felt something pull inside. The man's eyes were misting over and she understood why. His own wedding day had come and gone. That thought made her eyes haze over as well.
"Are you alright?" Nate asked with a touch of her hand. It was a reasonable question. She had hated Roman every day they had dated. It wasn't like that now.
"I'm better than okay," Blair smiled at her former boyfriend, gave his hand a contented squeeze of reassurance. When she looked back to the front she could see her own father's uncertainty evaporate with her brilliant grin.
"So when is the wedding?" Lily asked. It figures. She'd be the one.
"We're aiming for the beginning of June. Roman has a photo shoot shortly thereafter. We're going to hold it at Cyrus' town home in Montreal."
Blair stared at her could have been stepfather. Then she knew. His tears weren't just for himself. Cyrus was fond of love in general. She also knew why it was in Montreal. Her father couldn't legally marry here.
"It will just be a small ceremony," Harold promised. "Only friends," He finished with a pointed look down the table. They wouldn't all be there. Penelope looked like the cat that had caught the canary when the Coates and Farkas made their exit. Kat's mother was traditional Chinese and the Coates were just generally conservative. Blair couldn't bring herself to care until Penelope's smile spread wider. Then there was a surge of some of the former Blair. She had the motivation to defeat Penelope and she would. Just not right now.
She was too busy debating colour choices with Serena and Lily. She didn't stop to draw air until Bart's phone broke through. It wasn't surprising. Bart's phone rang all the time. She wouldn't have even noticed it except Bart greeted Ms. Queller rather than a shareholder or secretary. That had her turning in her chair. Blair's eyes followed Bart's as they left, traced his path around the table and out the door. She'd have followed him, or listened at the door if there wasn't another twenty guests to watch her.
Bart spoke with Ms. Queller as he walked to the side room, sought some quiet to really focus on what she was saying. "Did you receive the essay Chuck wrote?" He asked. Chuck had been required to write a thirty page essay about his actions towards Dan. It should have warranted expulsion but everyone had heard what Dan said first. Even Rufus Humphrey had preached lenience once he knew.
"Yes," Ms. Queller answered. "But it came with a special request. I thought I should discuss that with you."
Bart sat back as she did, one long leg crossing, uncrossing and then recrossing over the other. By the time she'd finished Bart was speechless. "He did that?" He asked for some confirmation and when it came Bart stood straight up. "I'm sure there's a misunderstanding," Bart swore and ended the call. For a moment he just stared into the room's sole fireplace, already lit despite the room's planned emptiness.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
The next morning found Chuck lain across his bed, history text opened beside his notebook. He wrote the vocabulary word in red, the definition in green. He had a whole collection of pens, red for key words and people, green for definitions, purple for dates and blue for general notes. It was Blair's method and one she had passed along at the beginning of senior year. He'd gained more from their study sessions than the happy ending. Across from him Sebastian was trying to struggle through a copy of All Quiet on the Western Front. Chuck considered helping him. Bart had sat Chuck down and helped him through the themes and history of the novel. Chuck could still remember most of his father's explanation but somehow remembering that had Chuck turning back to his own page instead. Chuck would help him when Sebastian hit Algebra.
"Chuck Bass!" Deborah's voice yelled at entrance. Chuck looked up to see the nurse staring at his floor. He knew why. The staff didn't need to draw a line between Sebastian and Chuck's sides of the room, there was a logical division where spotless met disaster. Chuck's books, which had started out nicely stacked, now dangled across his desk, two in danger of falling into the mess on the floor. The carpet was covered with papers, books and even a few pairs of pants. His bed, well, Chuck was sure he'd made it the first morning he was here. "We don't have maid service here!"
"I'll take care of it," Chuck promised, eyed his bunkmate's hospital corners as Deborah left.
"What?" Sebastian asked as Chuck stared.
"Think you could clean the entire room? I'll pay you 50$ a day."
Sebastian laughed as he shook his head. "How would you learn to be self-reliant?"
"Come on," Chuck tried with what could have been a whine. "$75?"
"How about I pay you $100 to do it yourself?"
Chuck eyed his own disaster in resignation. He stared at the leaning tower of books, the random papers that had been scribbled on and then found their way to the floor. That was just the start. Chuck didn't know where to begin. He had never lived without maid service. He even paid the upper floor maid to clean his locker once a term. He was wandering in uncharted territory.
"I could show you how to make a bed," Sebastian suggested.
They managed only that by the time the door opened. Chuck stuffed three novels into a drawer in time to meet his father's eyes. Bart eyed the mess, arched one brow but didn't say a thing. He didn't need to. The twitch of disapproval was enough to stab. That was the problem. There was such precedence that Bart didn't even need to say anything anymore and what he did say, it didn't seem to matter.
"Can I speak with you?" Bart asked.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Serena knew it had finally happened when she got home. Lily tilted her head to Eric's bedroom, the pleading woven through blue eyes. When Serena reached the room she saw her brother attempting to unpack the first of seven boxes that crowded his floor. He was grabbing at shirts and tossing them into an opened drawer. It was complete chaos, sleeves untucked and tossed at random. It wasn't typical Eric. That boy was nearly as organized as Blair.
"You need to stop," Serena tried first but her brother kept throwing. He didn't say a thing until she put a hand to his arm and forced him to stop.
"I don't want to move," Eric said. "I like it here."
"You know that's not possible."
"I don't want it to be just mom and I again."
"I'll be there," Serena promised.
"For how long?" Eric asked. "In the fall you'll either be at Brown or on location. I'll be the only one left."
Serena didn't know what to say to that, so she just gave her brother's arm a little squeeze.
"Do you know how bad it was without you?" Eric asked. "Mom is gone all the time and when she is there it's mostly on the arm of the next potential husband."
"Maybe you'll get lucky," Serena teased. 'She'll marry Rufus and you'll have Jenny as a bunkmate."
Eric laughed at his sister's poor excuse at humour. The chuckle didn't last long, barely lifted his lips before they fell downward again. "But I liked this family."
"That's what this is really about, isn't it?"
"I just thought we would be here when Chuck got back."
"You know that..."
"No one asked me. It's not what I would have wanted."
"Me too," Serena admitted with another squeeze. "But we'll still be there for him, just not here for him. Besides, Chuck isn't coming back to the Palace anyway. His stuff is already at the townhouse."
"I know," Eric pressed a hand to his face. "I just..." His voice hitched and Serena saw just how much this was upsetting her younger brother. She wrapped him in her arms, wound her slender frame to his lanky one, and let him cry if he needed to. They stayed that way for a time; Serena both softened and strengthened by her brother's genuine emotion. There was a time he would have bottled it all up. He had definitely changed from that insecure and scared little boy.
"He'll call you when he gets back," Serena reassured him. "You're the only one he's called so far."
"I know," Eric agreed. He touched his cheeks and blushed embarrassingly at the fact that he had cried.
"So," Serena's eyes went mischievous as her brother recovered himself. "What did Chuck say when he called?"
"I can't violate his confidence," Eric said and Serena knew he wouldn't. Blair had tried first. "But," Eric arched a brow. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when he gets back."
"Did he apologize?"
"It wasn't that," Eric admitted. "It was the conversation in general. He was honest, reflective, insightful, sensitive even."
"Really?" Serena tried to reconcile that with her understanding of Chuck Bass. She supposed he had his moments before. He had consolled her once or twice after all.
"Trust me," Eric smiled at his sister. "If that conversation was anything to go by, you're going to meet a whole new Chuck Bass in two weeks."
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Chuck was reclined against the pine railing same as the day before. Another cigarette dangled between his lips, his feet kicked at the same wooden pillars. The only difference was the emotion. He didn't feel amused, relaxed or even content. That's when he knew he was doing the right thing. He felt nervous, distressed and tyrannized. He supposed it was progress that he could name each emotion.
His counsellor was a doctor named Jed. They insisted on going by first names at Clayton House. It was part of the informal atmosphere that teens were supposed to respond to. Jed kept going back to the same question. What was Chuck going to do to prevent relapse. That was a big topic here. They had two evening groups on it every week. Not the small, sharing group that he had to go to daily but a whole centre presentation. They brought in former graduates of the program, the ones who had gone on successfully. They talked a lot about the changes they made in their life to allow them to live sober. The refrain was always the same, discover your triggers and figure out how to avoid them.
"Ms. Queller told me about your plans," Bart offered.
Chuck shook his head angrily. It figured. "And?"
"You don't have to leave New York."
"I want to," Chuck said without turning his head. His dad had made a lot of flowery speeches since the first visit. Some were downright beautiful but they didn't change the fundamental problem. Chuck still went straight back to his room and smoked up. He's not sure he woudn't do worse if it was available to him. Of all the people or situations that lead him to drink or use drugs, his father was the primary. Bart Bass was his biggest trigger.
"Don't you think it's a bit extreme?" Bart suggested and Chuck felt his eyebrow twitch. It wasn't even an insult but it felt close enough to one. "There is less than three months left in the school year."
"I'm finishing by correspondence," Chuck reminded his father. It's not like he was starting in a new school. He was just registering at St. Georges to use their facility. He was finishing at St. Judes by distance.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
Chuck was convinced it was better than the alternative. He could have got a place in New York but he imagined it would take over 2000 miles to truly divide the two. "It's what I want."
"Why?"
"Because it's better for me."
"We have a perfectly fine house," Bart tried again. "I am willing to do anything I need to," He promised.
There was a time Chuck would have loved to hear those words. It was just a little too late now. "I'm not going back to New York," Chuck flipped his cigarette from the patio as he pushed off the rail. "And you can't make me." He finished as he walked away.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Serena was shocked to watch her best friend sit below the rest of their clique. She'd missed the last few days of school for the move and Blair hadn't exactly been forthcoming about it. She slapped a hand to Blair's back, nearly spilling the smaller girl's yogurt. Blair knew what was coming when she turned. She saw how wide her best friend's eyes were, the way her head angled forward in search of the truth. "What?" She tried to whisper through the divide.
"What is going on?" Serena whispered right back.
"It's nothing important," Blair swore and Serena's eyes tripled from their original doubling in size.
"So Blair," Penelope started in her best aristocratic voice (faked mostly). "I guess you must be so excited about your dad's wedding."
"Who's wearing the dress?" Kat asked with a matching smile.
"Excuse me!" Serena nearly launched across the cement steps at the insult. She would have if Blair hadn't pulled her back. "What?" Serena whispered while Blair spooned her yogurt.
Blair leaned over, eyes knitting closer together. "Pick your battles," She whispered into her best friend's ear.
"It's wonderful," Penelope continued. "Now she'll have someone to coordinate outfits with. Since Chuck is leaving and all."
"Excuse me," Blair snapped straighter at that.
"Moving to Canada," Penelope's smile spread with Blair's shock.
"Not possible." Serena cut in because Blair wasn't able to speak.
"Apparently Nelly Yuki overheard the secretaries talking. They're transferring a copy of his files to St. George's school in Vancouver." Hazel picked up where Penelope left off. "He's doing the rest of year by correspondence."
"I imagine it'll be all over Gossip Girl by the end of the day," Penelope finished with a slanting grin.
Blair wasn't even listening by that point. Her fingers were flying over the keys to her phone. She was texting the information to Eric.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
"Where are we going?" Sebastian asked as they wound the first corner. They climbed a set of stairs, moved further from the main living room to the storage space above. Sebastian didn't really need to know. After the cherry bomb incident Chuck's roommate had relayed all his secret hiding places. Chuck knew exactly where to go to avoid the spot checks. He just had yet to actually do it.
But this wasn't escaping group. This was an entirely different diversion. Chuck pulled a set of playing cards out of his pocket once they reached the greying door. It used to be the janitor's room but they'd moved that downstairs. Now it was an empty room far from the rest. Chuck passed them to his bunkmate as he opened the door. "We're playing poker?" Sebastian guessed. They usually did. It didn't require sneaking away. It wasn't until Chuck pointed into the room that Sebastian's smile grew. Inside was a table and sitting at that table were the blonde and brunette from outside. "You're the best roommate ever!" Sebastian cried out.
He repeated the refrain when they were ten hands in with barely a loss. Chuck had removed only his tie, shirt unbuttoned but that was more the work of the brunette beside him than defeat. She ran her fingertips along his stomach, much flatter since he'd rediscovered running with Nate. The girl traced his rib cage up and down, mouth affixed permanently to his ear. She wrapped her thumb along the length of his gold chain, twisted and pulled him closer to her.
They were the only two left sitting at the table and Chuck was the only one still playing at cards. Sebastian and the blonde were hiding in one corner, playing at something else instead. He dealt them out, flipping cards from one side of the table to the other. He turned his and the brunette's. He had two pairs to her single. "I think you should lose that skirt now," He whispered against her mouth, ran two fingers around her waist to start the zipper downward. She wiggled from it before his eyes; coy smile all but disappeared now that she stood in only her underwear.
"Next hand?" The brunette said and it's the way she did. Her eyes arching to match her lips, a finger hooked beneath her own bra.
Chuck didn't know why he was hesitating. Okay that's not entirely true. He had some idea. Chuck had never had sex sober in his life, not even when he was younger. He'd always had some alcohol in his body, or baring that, enough of a hangover to make it feel like he was still drunk. That's why he lit that cigarette first, inhaled deeply and blew the smoke upward.
"Chuck!" His roommate yelled about thirty seconds too late. The fire alarm was sounding before Sebastian could warn him. The alarm in that room had been set particularly sensitive; to stop the unauthorized smoking that had become a problem.
Chuck looked up in time to see the spray of water, the sprinkler system setting off with a burst. It soaked what was left of his clothing within minutes. The water pooled in his hair, ran so quickly down his face that Chuck had to blink to see. The nurses were in the room before Chuck could even stand; Sebastian tried to pull his shirt on but only managed one arm prior to the shriek.
"Chuck Bass!"
Chuck winced at the sound, grabbed at his tie and threw it halfhazardly over his head. He couldn't button his shirt before the orderly had him by the arm. He pulled him up from the chair.
"We're headed South," Sebastian yelled into the roof, same orderly pushing him from behind.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
A/N – I just wanted to thank everyone for their lovely reviews and support as we're nearly at 400 reviews. I'm glad that people are still enjoying the story despite it's rather dark themes.
Blair S. – Yippee, another new reader :) You're going to see a bit of the Blair-Eric friendship (and there was a couple hints at it this chapter) Chuck isn't going to be a rock star but he is going to sing to someone else before the end and he is going to have another profession before he becomes CEO of Bass.
BrittyKay – thanks ;)
Lucy – I dont mind SN. I just find them boring as a couple to write about.
Ggxxlover – what happened to Chuck is that they wanted to start him on Prozac. I'm not sure if you've read YCFYF. But in this series canon Misty had bipolar and killed herself by throwing herself off the Brooklyn Bridge when he was 11. (sorry if I ruined that story for anyone who hadn't read YCFYF) That's why it scared him so much.
Roswell Dream Girl – I know you really want for B to be the one to help him and be there for him. She is going to get her chance. If you can wait just two more posts then I think you'll be happy on that count.
Oc-Journey – I'm sorry I didn't include the Eric conversation either. It'll all come out but I just wanted to show that Chuck was improving by reaching out. The details will fill in later.
Annablake – I agree that judgemental was the wrong word. In fact once you pointed it out I hated it so much that I went and changed it to unempathetic. That's the feeling I was looking for. BTW, your take on the bipolar issue is entirely right (as always).
Tiff – thanks :)
Ingridmarie – yeah Chuck does have a lot to deal with. He's also got a lot of people there for him though.
Courtney – I'd like to but Chuck is in Conneticut and Blair is in New York. Once Chuck gets back to NY you're going to have so much CB interaction that you'll get sick of them. C will be in NY by the end of Chapter 15 btw. Let's just say this. Did anyone remember a little throw off from YCFYF. When Chuck was 14 he ran away to live with aunt and uncle. He refused to move back until someone convinced him he should ;)
Up Next – Chuck gets more than one frightening wake up call, Blair confronts Bart and her words spurn him into some interesting actions, Chuck makes his trip to Yale.