She had not visited her child 's grave, ever.
Not once since she had buried him had she ever been to visit it.
It was just so surreal to her that she had even been carrying a child for so long, that it was easier for her to make herself believe that that child had not even existed, but since the start of this tournament, that child had been in her mind a lot.
It was because of him.
The father.
A father that didn't even know he had once almost had a child with a complete stranger.
Then again why would he remember a stranger he slept with for one night, a stranger he had discarded after he was done with her, a stranger he had not even spoken to?
There would be no reason why he would remember her at all, and yet she had the feeling that somehow he could feel it, and it scared her that he might find out.
Never in all their tormentous relationship had they've been together for so long, and his presence was intoxicating.
She had told herself that she was ok with him moving on, that she too would stop using his memory as a means to keep her on her legs without falling, and it had worked, but she had never imagined that she'd be this close to him in all her life.
He lived in PLANT's, and he sporadically showed up to visit Kira, but she being the ruler of the country scarcely had time to properly talk to him, so he left no lasting impression in her already marked heart.
But now, he would be near her for over a month, and since this was official business, she had a lot of contact with him.
The feelings she had buried not too deep in her mind were starting to resurface every time she spoke to him, every time he smiled at her, every time they shook hands.
But to him she had been a stranger on a desolated island who had offered him a little comfort for a night, nothing else.
To her, he had been everything. In their brief encounter he had made her feel safe, happy, needed, but she knew that never again would he ever look at her like a lost child looking for his mother.
He was no longer lost.
His eyes were bright now; it seemed to her that he had found a way to heal his injuries, both emotional and physical.
She longed for his touch, but every time he looked at her, she only saw the eyes of a friend, nothing else.
"I would have been a horrible mother." She told the unnamed tombstone.
She had not even given that child a name.
"I don't know." A voice said behind her.
She turned around to meet those green eyes that looked at her as only a friend.
"I would have, trust me. I'm selfish, and even with this child I would have kept being selfish."
"It's unnamed?" he asked pointing at the tombstone.
"Yeah, he didn't even deserve a name. I'm terrible aren't I? He was my own child and yet I couldn't even name him."
"Did you ever see him?"
"No, never. I was given a box that's all."
"And did you ever think of a name?"
She sighed, "Not really. I was so confused about that child, that I thought about abortion, I really did but I didn't like the idea of having a vacuum shoved into me."
He stayed quiet looking at the tombstone. "May I offer a name?"
"Huh?"
"A name."
"Yes, I think it's time he got one."
"Patrick."
It was his father's name.
How ironic, after two years it was his own father who had named him. A father who thought he was naming a stranger had given him not just any name, but his grandfather's name.
"So he finally has a name?" Kira asked.
"Yeah."
"Why don't you just tell him and stop worrying that he might find out."
"Forget it." Was all she said as she walked away from the grave.
Kira watched her go.
She had gotten stronger, but she was still a fragile woman who might break at any moment again.
'How many times are you planning on putting yourself together Cagalli?' Kira asked his sister mentally.