Authors Note: As always comments make me update quicker... :P If you like the story why not tell a friend... Always welcome to see new readers...
Chapter 36
Ella checked on the babies again. It was their first night home and they were still asleep. That meant the baby monitor was working. She went back to bed.
Roman lifted the covers and she climbed into the bed next to him.
"Ok, they are still asleep. And don't say I told you so." She whispered.
He chuckled.
"I have to say I like these pyjamas." He told her stroking her back.
"Uh huh." She said. "I like the fact that you bought me a nightlight." She told him. "I wondered why you bought two of them."
He chuckled again.
"You told me you didn't like the dark." He murmured sleepily.
She smiled.
"I love you."
"Great, can we get some sleep now because I suspect that we have a lot of sleepless nights ahead of us." He told her
She giggled suddenly.
"El I so did not mean that." He grouched.
"Sorry." She told him.
He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips before turning over and pulling the covers up.
She lay on her back and looked at him. His back was too her.
"What's the matter?" she asked him quietly.
"Nothing, just sleepy." He told her.
She lay staring at the ceiling watching as shadows went back and forth.
"Well sleepy do you think I could get a hug?" she asked.
He sighed.
"El." He murmured. "Now isn't a good time." He groaned.
"So its not nothing is it?" she told him.
He turned back to facing her.
"No it isn't. It's a lot. " He groaned. He pulled her against him and kissed her.
She felt his body pressing against her.
"Ok." she said to him.
"You turn me on when you giggle and snuggle against me and I feel that I have no right to have that reaction right now." He said against her lips.
"Why?" She asked softly.
"Because I do not want to do anything to remind you or put pressure on you to push yourself." He told her.
He stroked her hair back from her face.
"I love you El and I want you." He told her. "I think you are beautiful." He added.
"I really need you to know that what we have is so special that nothing will ever change it. That my feelings for you will be the same and if anything I love you more for being here with me right now."
He pressed another kiss on her lips before climbing out of the bed and walking into the bathroom.
She heard the shower come on and she started crying softly, wishing she could remember only how it was to make love to her husband and not the feel of the other man against her. She mourned, pulling his pillow against her as she sobbed. Eventually she fell asleep worn out by bringing the babies home and all the emotion. She was sound asleep when he came back into the bedroom and gently tugged away the pillow and pulled her into his arms.
"I love you." He told her softly, holding her.
She woke slowly seeing that it was light outside. She clambered out of bed and saw that the nursery was empty and she ran downstairs feeling panic. She sighed when she saw that Roman had the babies in the lounge.
"Hey." He said softly.
She saw that he was cuddling Sophie.
"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked grumpily.
"You needed your rest El," he told her softly.
"No I needed to be with my babies." She muttered walking over to Georgie in the bassinet.
"El." He said. "Our babies." He amended.
She glared at him.
"And I needed to bond with them too." He added.
She sighed and turned around stomping back upstairs.
Roman grinned as he rocked Sophie back to sleep.
"You are so lucky you have no idea how mad your mummy can get right now." He told her. "But don't worry she only gets mad at me and if you take after her I may have to remove the doors in the house and buy a lifetime supply of cups." He told his daughter hearing the bathroom door slam upstairs.
Sophie sighed as though she understood every word he'd told her and he smiled again.
He placed his daughter in the bassinet next to her brother as a knock sounded at the door. He went over and opened it.
"Colonel." he said automatically.
"I think you can call me George now." He said to Roman. "Is my daughter here?"
"Come in. She's upstairs at the moment taking shower." Roman told him.
"That might be a good thing." George said.
"What is it?" Roman asked quickly leading them through to the kitchen where he start making drinks. Already the tops seemed to be covered by baby stuff.
"Gardy is trying to cut a deal. In exchange for certain information he wants a lighter sentence." He said.
"And is the army going for it?" Roman asked.
"They are thinking about it. I've recommended the maximum sentence but they believe I may have a vested interest."
"Michael and now Ella?" Roman asked.
The other man nodded.
Roman handed him a cup of coffee and then poured one out for himself, he sipped it slowly.
"I wish I'd taken care of him when I had the chance." Roman muttered.
"How is my daughter doing?" George asked him.
"She's hurting." Roman confessed slowly. He turned his head as he heard the tread of footsteps on the stairs.
Ella joined them. She was once more dressed in black. A black polo neck jersey and jeans.
"Coffee?" he asked her.
She nodded and eased herself into a chair.
"Hello Daddy." She said finally. "What is it?" she asked him.
"Nothing." He told her smiling, "I wanted to come and see you." He added.
"Like hell Colonel." She told him.
He grimaced.
"Oh, I forgot to warn you she's in a bad mood." Roman told him.
She glared at him.
He placed the coffee in front of her and stepped back hurriedly.
She looked for something to throw but she could only see the cup in front of her and decided against it.
She drank the coffee and looked at her father.
He sighed before saying eventually.
"Gardy is trying to cut a deal in exchange for a reduced sentence." He told her.
She stood up and walked out of the room picking up her keys she raced out of the front door before anyone could stop her.
"Stay with the babies." Roman told the other man and ran out after her. He found her on the beach.
"Ella." He called and saw her flinch.
"Go away." She told him.
"El." He said again.
"No." She screamed running to the edge of the sea. "Leave me alone." She cried.
"Ella don't do it." he told her.
She turned and looked at him before running through the waves.
"Ella." He called chasing after her stopping at the sea's edge waiting to see what she would do.
She dived into the waves and swam as far and as fast as she could until she was panting with effort feeling exhaustion roll over her. She thought about swimming further out and not going back. The tug of the undertow was luring her further out. With effort she turned and swam slowly back to shore collapsing on the beach. He pulled her into his arms feeling her shake.
"I didn't want to come back." She told him. "Not for you and not for Mike or the babies."
"I know." He whispered picking her up and carrying her back to the house. He pushed through the door and carried her straight upstairs to the bathroom.
She pushed at his hands as he tried to undress her.
"I don't want you to see." She moaned.
"I have to get you out of these clothes and warm you up." He told her.
She stopped struggling and let him take off the top and her bra. He pulled a towel round to cover her while he deal with the jeans. He put her underneath the shower letting the spray warm her before he picked up the shower gel and poured a measure on the sponge he soaped her down clinically cutting off a part of himself to stop from crying out at the bruises and marks on her skin. He washed her hair before lifting her out and wrapping her back in a large towel. He dried her gently and carried her through to the bedroom as though she were a life-size doll. He tugged on one of her nightdresses and tucked her into the bed,
She fell asleep immediately.
He walked downstairs slowly not bothering with his own clothes, which were wet from carrying her from the beach and the shower.
"She isn't ok is she?" George asked and saw Roman shake his head.
"I wish I could have stopped him sooner." George told him sadly.
Roman almost smiled.
"Just about everyone has said the same recently." He commented.
He walked over and checked on the two babies seeing that they were fast asleep.
"We're all sitting here blaming ourselves and that smug SOB is rubbing his hands together about to get a cushy deal." Roman said the steely hint of anger running through his voice. "And the worst thing is watching her go through this. She is hurting so much."
George sighed.
"I don't know about how you two are coping but when Michael died my wife decided that she was going to take a bottle of pills rather than help our daughter in her pain, I had the same failing. I turned away in my hurt and I shut her out." He sounded old all of a sudden. "I won't do that again. I'm going to resign my commission." He announced.
Roman sighed.
"And do what?" He asked the other man going into the kitchen and pouring out a couple glasses of whisky.
"I bumped into Alf on the pier. He invited me to sit down and do some fishing with him. Maybe I'll do that for a while." George accepted the glass of sprit and drank deeply.
"Watch your grandkids grow up?" Roman asked and saw the other man smile.
"Yes why not?"
"Because there are other Gardy's out there and you need to stop them. We'll always be here when you want us." Roman told him taking a drink.
He looked over and saw Georgie stirring.
"Ok round two." He commented. "How are you at nappies?" Roman asked him.
"You're right I should stay in the army and leave you to it." the man joked.
Roman smiled before standing up and walking into the kitchen to prepare the babies bottles. He took a moment to try and tidy up thanking whoever had invented dishwashers. He had the bottles ready when he heard Georgie give his first cry.
He picked up the towel and put it over his shoulder and went and picked up his son. Form some reason they took it in turns to cry for which he was so grateful.
He looked over at George and offered the bottle to him seeing him nod, he handed over Georgie and settled him in his granddad's arms for his feeding. The boy accepted the bottle and drank deeply and greedily and the two men looked at each other and chuckled.
Roman picked up Sophie and started feeding her. She starred at him thoughtfully looking like a miniature version of Ella. He smiled down at her falling in love with his wife all over again for giving him the babies.