Sorry this Chapter was so short; it was a hard one to wrtite.
I dedicate it to my Little Angel

I do not Own VA but that which is mine I freely share with you.

Chapter 37 Tears in Heaven

Dear Rosemarie; November 30.

I am very happy to hear that the journals I gave you have been helpful to you. I can only imagine how you must have felt when your friend found the spirit wielders journal. One journal out of context can only cause more questions than it can answer. Thank you for donating the book to our archives. I have included another flash drive with two more journals.

Thank you again for talking with James, and Patrick. I think that whatever you said to them really made a difference to them. The punishments that your husbands suggested have deterred their behavior considerably as well.

Lord Ivashkov's suggestion of "Dimitri" style training before and after classes has been taken very seriously by their mentors. It is already teaching them focus and self-discipline. I must say that when Kealiiwai and Austin were both trouble makers when they were students here. The training that they took with you and Guardian Belikov has made then take the job of teaching with a proper measure of seriousness.

Guardian Belikov's suggestion that they work in the clinic with the victims of their prank has taught them compassion. It is difficult not to see the pain they caused when they themselves have to clean ad redress the wounds.

In order to fit in their extra training and their work at the clinic they have had to give up their Elective class as well as the two hours after afternoon practice. This leaves them just enough time to eat dinner and do homework.

The boys have had to virtually no time to cause any trouble. They are on house arrest and the guardians that are watching over them tell me once they are sent to their dorms for the night; that they are too exhausted to do anything more than change for bed.

I hope that we will see you again in the spring.

Headmistress of St. Columban's Academy

Sr. Katherine Murphy

I wrote a quick response to St. Katherine and printed it. After signing it I clipped the addressed envelope and placed it in my out box. I gave a sigh to myself. My desk was cleared and I was fee to leave early for the weekend. I grabbed my purse and headed out of my office.

"Denise, I am leaving now. I left some letters in my outgoing mail and could you please file these for me." I handed her several folders.

"No problem Guardian Hathaway." She lowered her voice. "Should I stock your mini frig with Ginger Ale and water crackers?"

"Yes please but don't say anything to anyone." She smiled at me and pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key. I smiled and shook my head as I walked away.

I picked up Theresa and Xander at the day care. Essa giggled as she ran to me and jumped up I caught her and hugged her. She let me settle her down on a chair as I got the stroller out of the storage closet. I got it set up and then went to the infant room to get Xander.

"Hi Thanda" Essa kissed her brothers head. She touched his hand and he grabbed hold of her finger. "Momma Thanda is holding my hand." This brought another round of giggles. I touched base with the caregivers in both Essa's and Xander's rooms then signed them out.

"We're going to see Cousin Sasha today."

"Yea!"

I listened to Essa tell me about her day. I didn't need to ask any questions because she always gave me a running account of her day. I stifled a laugh when she told me that her teacher doesn't know how to read green eggs and ham. "She read for both of them mommy. I told her that Daddy Dimitri and Daddy Adrian don't do it like she does. Mommy I really tried to tell her but she made me sit in time out." I stopped and bent down to her level. Her brown eyes were wide with indignation.

"Theresa everyone has their own ways of doing things. She didn't read it wrong, just different. You need to be patient when people don't do things like you expect them to. Tomorrow I want you to tell her that you are sorry." Her bottom lip began to quiver and she began to blink the tears from her eyes. I almost never had to correct my daughter; most of the time she was happy, sweet and well behaved.

"Essa, you will do as I ask won't you?" My voice was firm but soft. Her head bobbed up and down. I smiled at her pulling her into an embrace. "That's my girl. So what else happened today?" She continued telling me about the rest of her day; by the time we reached Sasha's office she was smiling and happy again.

Sasha did a routine checkup on Theresa and Xander. She weighed and measured them to gage their rate of growth. Her findings were just as I had expected. Theresa was still growing at twice the rate as other children her age and Xander was doing the same. I closed my eyes and calmed myself before my emotions took over. I needed to talk so I invited Sasha out to lunch at my favorite café at court. While we waited for our food I decided to open up to Sasha.

"Sasha I am pregnant again."

"Rose it would be a bit early to know that. You just had Xander two months ago."

"Well six weeks after I had Theresa I conceived Alexander. I tried to avoid having sex when I knew I was fertile because I knew I would get knocked up again. Problem was I couldn't stop myself from attacking him when he was changing into pajamas."

"Two weeks along is still too early to even know if you are or not yet." She tried to sound reassuring.

"I threw up the next day. With both Theresa and Xander I threw up the next morning. With Theresa I thought it was just the nerves and pain of losing Dimitri, but I know now that it is my early notice. Both those times I didn't get the worst of the morning sickness till about a month in but this time I have had it since day one."

"Rose I am going to schedule an appointment for you on Monday."

"You aren't happy about this are you?"

"It's not really about being happy about the baby, I am; it's just that I want time to enjoy the two that I have. They are growing so very fast. I know that God has some kind of plan for me and that I am supposed to have a bunch of kids but I just wish it wasn't one right after the other."

"I wonder how many you are supposed to have."

"In a Dream I was visited by the last Wielder of Life and Death; her name is Bridget Donnelley and she is real. I saw her portrait at St. Columban's Academy. I also have been reading her journals. In the dream she told me that I need to bring forth all four elements, a spirit wielder and one who is like me. So I think that I am supposed to have six children in all." I put my head in my hands. "The thought of it is a little overwhelming."

Sasha was silent for a little bit. Then she coughed.

"One baby every 10 ½ months six times. Wow that's five years four months."

"I know. I conceived Theresa when I was just about to turn 18 so from my calculations I will be almost constantly pregnant till after I turn 23." Sasha reached out and held my hand. "Funny thing is that I know that they are coming and I already love them and want them. It's just that I wish that I could have the time to really enjoy each one."

"Rose maybe the reason that your children grow so fast has to do with the fact that you have to have so many so close together."

Our food arrived and as we ate Sasha changed the subject.

"I hear that you are trying to get an old kind of promise mark put on the books?" I spent the rest of our lunch explaining to her about the Hunters mark and how I thought that we should reinstate the use of Hunter Packs.

Dimitri POV

My Roza is with child again. She has been filled with so much conflicting emotions. She loves this child as much as she loves Theresa and Xander. She knows that the gift of magic comes with a price, and the greater the power of the magic; the greater the price. Elemental wielders only suffer minor discomforts that are usually easily dismissed. Spirit wielders have the darkness, depression and insanity to contend with.

Rose had a different kind of price to pay. Her price was watching her children age so fast that she often felt that she didn't even get to see it. Also because she was destined to have four to six children in quick succession she barely got a few weeks break between pregnancies. It has only been two months since she gave birth to her second child and she is already several weeks along with her third.

Adrian has allowed me to see Roza as he sees her. I slip into his mind and he will look at her. Her aura is beautiful. He has shown me the memories that he has of her from when she was still in school. She had so many shadows then. It is no wonder that she acted out so much. I regret that I had told her she was immature. It was not that she was immature; it was the way the darkness made her react. Her aura is now bright and with few shadows. Whenever she wields love she burns bright silver. As for colors she tends to be a soft pastel pallet. Her child she is carrying already radiates purples.

My brother believes that even though I was not born with an ability to wield magic that I may develop an element. He insists on trying to teach me what it feels like to use Spirit. I don't really see the point because spirit is so rare that I don't think I would develop it. However since he can't fully wield elemental magic I am hoping that I will be able to apply the same principals to whatever I develop; if I develop the ability to wield magic at all He has had me slip into his mind and then taken me with him on a dream walk picnic with Roza. He has also shown me how to make plants grow.

I have to admit that I would love to develop spirit. Joy that he feels when he uses it is absolutely beautiful. I would never have imagined the beauty of his heart. Roza told me what it was like to feel Lissa heal Viktor Dashkov; the images, music and emotions that she experienced left her in awe of her best friend. I have been in his head when he healed my bite from Roza's neck; his love for her is so amazing.

There are other things that my brother is insisting I learn. I am learning how to choose and buy stocks. He is showing me all the little things he does for Roza. One might think that he was trying to make me feel inadequate; however that is not the case. He still believes that he will have to leave us. I have tried to assure him that I will not allow anything bad to happen to him. He insists that it would make him feel better to know that should anything happen that I know how to take care of those things.

I am amazed at all the little things he does for her. He is the reason her skin is still so beautiful and her hands are soft despite all the training she does. He provides her with high quality skin care products and if she is too tired to apply them; then he will do it for her. When she travels he does the planning and often the packing too. When he knows that Rose has a busy day at work we will go to the day care at court and pick Xander up and bring him to Rose for nursing. He did this with Theresa as well when she was younger. Rose tends not to let her needs take priority so he takes it upon himself to make sure she takes care of herself too.

I am very grateful to my brother because he has been a very good and caring husband to Roza. In some ways I feel like he has taught me to be a better husband than I would have been in the first place. From what Yeva has told me about our real grandfather, Nathanial Cervantes, he was a very kind, loving and thoughtful man. I believe that Adrian must have inherited the kind heart of our grandfather.

Now that Rose and Lissa are planning Lissa's wedding and her Coronation we have taken on more of her day to day responsibilities. I have noticed that it is beginning to take a toll on him. I am beginning to worry about him because he has been very tired lately and it is not like him to tire easily. He has also begun to visit the feeder more often than he used to. I have begun to take over the task of going to take Xander to Roza for nursing during her busy days. I am also Adrian won't let me tell Roza about any of this. I have tried to convince him that she should know but he is just as stubborn as our wife is.

Rose POV

I was sleeping comfortably when I felt a sudden pain rip through my gut. I sat up in a fetal position rocking back and forth trying to breathe through the pain. I felt more pain and wetness between my legs. I begin to cry and scream with pain and fear. Christian's arms wrap around me and he tries to comfort me.

I bolted out of bed and reached for my robe. Adrian woke the moment I tore myself out of his arms.

"Call Sasha, tell her we have an emergency!" I shouted as I pulled my robe over my bare body and ran down the stairs.

I ran into Lissa's room without even knocking. Lissa was still in a fetal position. Chris was trying to find out what was wrong. He must have thought she was having another nightmare. I turned on the light on her nightstand. I touched her sending her healing as I pulled back the blanket from her. As I feared she was bleeding. Chris gasped and nearly fainted. I punched his arm to make him stay conscience.

"Get Adrian and Arianna; tell them we need to heal Lissa." I continued to send her healing while I spoke soothingly to her. Lissa was just crying and rocking back and forth but though the bond she was murmuring.

"This can't be happening. I can't lose my baby. Why. Why. Why. No; this isn't real. This isn't happening for real."

Adrian came in and Chris followed with Arianna. He went to Lissa and put his hand over her belly from Christian's side of the bed I took Arianna's hand and showed her where to channel her healing spirit. I heard an ambulance in the distance. The sirens grew closer and soon Dimitri was escorting several paramedics into the room. He led Arianna back to her room telling her that we had to let the medics do their job. He had her out of the room before the medics took the blanket away revealing the amount of blood that soaked the bed under her. Sasha arrived not less than a minute later.

Lissa was taken via ambulance to Human hospital that had many Moroi doctors in fellowship. Sasha and Chris road in the ambulance and Adrian Dimitri and I followed in our car. I hope that our healings worked. I know how much Lissa has wanted this baby. She never said it but since I was still carrying Theresa she has wanted to have a baby. This child would have been just a few weeks younger in age to the one I am now carrying. The only family members to know that she was pregnant were Chris, me and my husbands. She has been longing to see her children and mine grow up; and be best friends like she and I are. I can't help but feel guilty because I am relieved that it's not me in that ambulance.

Sasha told me it was best and my baby if I not go in the room with Lissa and she advised me not to listen in through the bond. I sat in the waiting room being held by both Adrian and Dimitri. I tried to keep my walls up but her feelings were so powerful. I knew even before Chris came out with puffy red eyes that Lissa had lost her baby despite our healing efforts.

Lissa stayed the night in the hospital I refused to leave her side. We didn't talk but I could feel that she was glad that I was there. Adrian had a new mattress replace her old one and offered to have the whole bedroom set replaced as well. Dimitri brought Xander for me to feed and he stayed with Lissa for me while I spent some time with my baby.

Back at home Lissa and I just lay together on her bed. Her feelings were all over the place as were mine. We were so raw that we could not put up any walls so we both knew everything that the other was feeling. It was hard on both of us but at the same time I think it was healthy that there were no secrets between us. She was feeling guilty for wishing it wasn't her who lost her baby and I felt guilty for being glad that it wasn't me. I know that she doesn't really wish it was me who was going through this first hand.

I wish I could take this pain from her. I thought about my desire to take her pain and I realized that if I could I would switch places with her if I could. I already have two beautiful children. I would be devastated by losing my baby but no more than she is now.

"Rose, no don't dare think that way. I love you for wishing you could take this from me but I could never wish this pain on you." I began to cry.

"I failed you. I am your Guardian. I didn't get to you fast enough. If I had gotten to you sooner maybe I could have healed it before it was too late. I failed."

"You didn't fail me. You knew what was happening before I did. You got here before Christian could even get out of bed."

"I failed to save your baby. I am supposed to be the wielder of Life and Death. I saved a stupid cat but I couldn't save my niece or nephew." She held me and cried with me. Adrian was in the doorway and he walked into the room.

"Lil' Dhampir, sometimes we can't stop the bad things from happening. You know that better than anyone I know. Sometimes the things that die are supposed to die; spirit cannot and should not heal everything."

Lissa and I held a private memorial service for her baby at the court Chapel. I know that only a handful of us even knew that she was carrying but it felt important to acknowledge the baby's short existence. The moment that a mother even suspects that she is pregnant she loves the child that she thought she might be carrying. I knew that was how Lissa felt and that is how I have always felt. For me it was important to give Lissa a chance to properly say good bye to her baby.

I know Lissa wanted to hide away but unfortunately we had other things to deal with. It was already a few days before Christmas; Lissa and Christian's wedding date was New Years Eve. Her coronation is set for January 15th.

The End of this chapter is very personal to me because when I was 29 I lost a baby too. The cercomstances were not ideal but I loved my baby anyway and I planned on keeping it. I had not even gotten to tell anyone that I was going to have a baby before I lost it. I chose not to tell anyone for many years. I wanted to share my story through Lissa because I know that this kind of thing happens and I want others out there to know that someone understands what they are going through.

Ok here is the Quiz.

This is the first time that Rose has told anyone that she suspects that she will have Six Children. Why do you think it might be important that she have so many? Do you think that you have figured out their Mission?

Adrian is really working hard to teach Dimitri how to use spirit even though right now Dimitri hasn't even developed any Magic. Why do you think he is doing this?

What do you think about the things Adrian told Rose after Lissa lost her baby?

Please Review and share your answers with me.

Suzanna