When the Cradle Falls
Chapter Thirty-Six: Broken Chord
"So...Dean went this way," Alice said to herself, walking a few steps in the sand, in the opposite direction than she had initially left in.
With a tight lipped expression, Alice crossed her arms and turned towards the skyline. She squinted at the sun peeking between the slightly swaying buildings. It was such a massive, monolithic city, she didn't know how the hell they were going to find him, let alone even knowing where to look.
"Alright, I got the phone company to turn on his GPS. We can ping his phone that way," Sam said, returning from the edge of the waves.
Her eyebrows almost shot up in embarrassment that she hadn't thought of that. She thought they were going to have to go on a convoluted scavenger hunt to find him, like Alice forgot technology actually existed for a moment.
But none of that mattered right now.
"Okay...I have the address," Sam said, staring down at his phone.
"Well, let's go then," Alice said.
"Alice, wait!" Sam tried to call her, but she was already stalking up the shifting sand. He called the address after her, in an attempt to get her to stop.
"Alice!" Sam called from behind her. She kept going.
Rolling her eyes, she was about to turn around when the phone in her pocket began to vibrate and chime a merry tune.
She quickly glanced at the caller ID and accepted the call. "Hello?" She asked, slightly irritated.
"Where are you?"
"The lake."
"I'm coming to help."
"Seth, that's a pretty broad area-"
"Look, Piper's being...Piper. But if you need help, I'll help you."
"How's Merrill?"
"Still gone but, trust me, she'll be okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah...you saw her. She's a teenager, but she's also a hunter and can take care of herself when she wants." Although the words were meant to be comforting, Alice remembered having to go after Merrill because she decided to track down a nest of vamps by herself. Again, it wasn't that she was incompetent, it was just that she made stupid decisions.
But again, it seemed Dean did too.
Alice felt herself sighing, trying to hold back her real feelings. "Where are you?" Alice asked.
"At some shitty diner a few blocks from the lake. Honestly, if Merrill doesn't want to be found, she won't be." Alice contemplated those words as she tried to imagine scenarios in which her first cousin once removed were okay.
"Okay, just start walking towards your childhood house."
"But that's-"
"Look, I'm sure you didn't exactly have a midday jog in mind, but start just walking that way and we'll swing by and pick you up, okay?"
"Okay, fine," Seth said, sounding a bit hesitant.
Snapping her phone shut, Alice continued to walk to the car, trying to prepare the situation by herself for the punchline, the joke. She didn't know the complete truth of their family. She didn't truly know why all of Jan's kids abandoned her. She didn't know what happened with anyone but Aunt Jan. She didn't know what had happened between Merrill and her kids, or what had triggered Dean to act like that. She didn't know where Dean was. She had no fucking idea what was going on with Noah.
The only thing she knew was that she needed Dean back. It didn't matter at that point who would help her. All she knew is that she wanted Dean back. No matter what it took.
And after all of that, then she could kick his ass.
"AHH! Bitch!" Dean yelled as Talla pulled the knife away once again. She took a few steps back and surveyed him. The toes of his shoes were scraping the ground, and if his arms could fall out of their sockets, he'd be on the ground right now. Blood from the cuts on his arms ran down his sleeves, staining the plaid shirt. His white undershirt was torn and also a deep red. His hairline looked like someone was trying to slice off his scalp.
"You look like Carrie on prom night," Talla decided.
"Nice analogy," Dean hissed, an obvious amount of pain in the back of his voice. Spitting, he watched a wad of red land onto the floor. He was surprised a tooth hadn't come out.
Sitting down on the couch, Talla unzipped the soaked velour sweatshirt she wore, showing of a white push up bra underneath. There were several red flecks on it. "You know," she said, watching Dean as he tried to look tough. "You really should be thankful I find out instead of Shanna. I can hear her thoughts. And boy oh boy the things she does to men for sexual pleasure...it's disturbing. Even right now, as a prisoner in her own mind."
"There's nothing else you bastards can possibly do to me at this point," he retorted, appearing resilient.
Talla found herself chuckling good naturedly at that. It was true. She was out of ideas for what she could to do him-and besides, she didn't want to kill him, just toy with him until the bait got here. She wasn't as creative or demented as some of the other demons she'd met in Hell. And actually, she was getting a little bored with his whole crap. He was in pain, but she couldn't seem to get him over the brink. He was tough; she'd give him that. "Maybe nothing, I can do." Talla recrossed her legs. "You may think you're a broken man, Dean Winchester. But you have no idea. Not until you go to Hell yourself that you really break. And you better pray that never happens so you." Even as a demon, thinking about Hell made Talla shudder.
As she finished her little tangent, the world around Dean went out of balance for a minute, as it felt like the floor fell from beneath him. His hearing gave out and the physical pain seemed to ramp up a notch. But, it wasn't due to the torture or injuries. It was the sudden reminder of where his father was, and the levity of how bad it really was.
Remembering that John was in Hell made Dean feel like his lungs had been ripped out of his chest, through his mouth. It was because of him-all because of him-that his dad was going to suffer for the rest of eternity.
"Well, anyways…" Talla stood up, moving to the window, completely unashamed of the fact she wasn't wearing a shirt. Stretching, she observed the Chicago skyline, unaware or uncaring of Dean's sudden existential crisis.
"You think I should call your brother? Or maybe your son? Does he had a phone yet? I never know when those kiddos those days get devices, huh?"
"Don't you dare-"
"Oh relax, I was just thinking out loud. As much as I enjoy your company, I am getting a bit impatient of waiting for them."
"How do you even know they're gonna show?" Dean asked, trying to act like they wouldn't come.
She scoffed. "Please. Like you, I do my research. I know your brother isn't gonna leave you behind. And you think dear little Alice wants to leave you again?" Talla smirked as Dean bristled at the mention of Alice.
"And even if they did, how do you expect them to find me?" Dean demanded, trying to get Talla's mind off his family.
Seeming displeased again, she knew she was going to have to spell it out for him. Sometimes he seemed like he knew what was going on, and other times, he had no clue. "I told you who I was working for. Who do you think is the one planting those visions in their floppy-haired little heads?"
If he was in a movie, the camera would've panned out and flipped upside down at that revelation.
"What?"
"Oh come on. You're not helping your case of not being an idiot, Dean. I know that deep down you made the connection. Your brother certainly has."
He was silent, and boiling.
"But your son probably hasn't yet. He's still so young. Doesn't know the whole story-"
"Shut up! Shut up you evil demonic bitch I'll kill you!" The words began spilling out of his mouth, the fire in his veins more now from the threat of his family, as opposed to the muted pain.
"Yes, that's the spot. Children always hit a nerve," Talla laughed. She shoved Dean back when he yanked forward again. The force caused his arms to buckle, and the cuffs to dig into his wrists.
"The fight is just gone out of you, huh?" She tapped the flat side of the knife against his reddened cheek. "You're not even trying to entertain me anymore. I hope your family figures it out sooner than later. If not...then I might have to give them a call."
"Don't you fucking dare, bitch."
"Ahh, Dean. You're so predictable. It's so easy to get that fire back into you. But I think you can agree we can move this along, yes?"
"Don't you do anything. Don't you dare," Dean demanded. It seemed like it took twice as much effort to inhale than it did to exhale, and the same amount to actually remember to breathe in the first place.
"Take a deep breath, huh? I was only joking. I'll let it all happen naturally." Flipping back to the couch, Talla flicked her foot towards Dean. It wore flip flops and had an unappealing French manicure, as well as several toe rings.
"We can have fun in other ways."
Dean tensed at the sound of that.
"Okay. I'm going to say something, and you guess what it means in your language. Okay. Ready. Your phrase is: sei fottuto."
"You're sure this is it?"
Sam shot a vaguely dirty look at Alice, in response to her skeptical tone.
"Yeah. That's what the GPS said." Sam kept silent on another reason why he knew this was the place. From the blurry, pain-filled vision, he recognized this portion of the landscape from a glimpse out a window of one of these apartments.
"Well...alright then." Alice tensely glanced at the sad, brick building they were parked in front of. Seth sat in the passenger seat beside her, while Sam, Cara, and Noah had been shoved into the back. They had driven past her cousin after he called, accepting the ride, as Sam grudgingly moved to the back.
Both Seth and Sam pushed open their doors and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
Staring at them, and then her silent children, Alice sighed. "Just...gimme a minute," she said, quietly.
The two men nodded and slammed their doors in unison, both of them sending the other a slightly offended glare over the top of the car.
Once Alice and her children were secured within the cocoon of the car, she turned around in the driver's seat to face them. Cara had slid over from the middle hump and seemed unimpressed with everything that was going on. Noah was distracted, only glancing at his mother a few times every minute.
"I'm gonna do get Daddy. Okay? He'll be okay."
With crossed arms, Cara stared at the back of the passenger seat. She gritted her teeth. "We're not gonna fit all of us in the car."
"Wha-what do you mean?" Alice asked, thrown off by the question.
"There's already five of us in the car. That's maximum capacity. Were not going to be able to fit all of us and Dad unless you leave someone behind. And it's probably gonna be Seth."
That was her main concern right now? Alice huffed internally and tried to turn off some of the sudden irritation she felt towards her daughter. Admittedly, Cara had always been a bit difficult to parent, but it seemed the older she got, the sassier she became. Alice could only imagine what Cara was gonna be like as a teenager. It honestly seemed like Cara was intentionally trying to make things difficult for them.
"We can worry about that when I get Dad back. Okay? But until then, I need you two to wait here. Okay? Cara, okay?"
"Yeah, fine."
Alice stared back at the two children for a moment. Noah was barely paying any attention-he was staring out the window, unconsciously holding his head, and blinking harshly. Maybe Alice hadn't noticed it until now, but it was obvious he was in pain.
"Noah," Alice tried.
The words didn't even register, and Cara tapped her brother on the shoulder. "No."
"Huh?" His head turned from the window he was blankly staring out of.
"Are you okay?" Glancing around the car, Noah noticed his mother leaning back, staring at him intently. He looked out the windows and realized they were parked in another location, in front of some non descript, brick building. He didn't even remember the ride there.
"Yeah. Just...find Dad."
Alice had to physically stop herself from reaching back and embracing her son in a hug. It was obvious he was trying to keep a tide of pain at bay. As a mother, she had been entirely unaware of it and suddenly felt a wave of pain and guilt for not being there for him. There had been so much that had slipped under her radar that she never noticed.
And she wondered how much there was that she didn't know.
"Mom."
"Yeah, Cara?"
"Please get him back," the young girl said in a small voice. She was staring down at her knees, thumbs twiddling.
Feeling her heart pang, Alice realized that as much as she wanted to stay with them, it was time to leave. "C'mere," she said. Reaching into the backseat, she pulled the two into a hug with awkward positioning. "I'll be back. And please stay here. You have holy water and salt and the car is-"
"Mom, it's fine," Cara spoke up again. Finally glancing up at her mother, Alice noticed the shiny quality of the small girl's eyes.
"Okay. I love you two. I'll be back." Alice kissed each of them on the forehead one last time, and hesitantly left the car, making sure it was locked beside her.
On the pavement, Sam and Seth were busy checking their weapons, studiously ignoring each other. The two didn't have a direct reason to hate on another, but Alice could tell there was a strained sort of understanding between the two.
"Alright. I'm ready." Alice checked her own weapons. She was still hesitant to use them, but felt a little more confident each time she did. And especially since Dean was the one they were saving, she was a little more focused and steadied compared to past times. If at least she couldn't save him for herself, then for her children. That was all the grounding she really needed, especially when they were so close by and alone.
Sam glanced back at the car, seeing their faces peering out from the backseat. "They'll be fine. This won't take long," he said. Although maybe the promise was empty, all Sam wanted was this terrible headache to go away, and to get his brother back in somewhat of one piece.
"Well, then let's get him back. Alice was the first one to enter the lobby of the building. It was evident it was a kind of place that was well tread. There was no system to buzz into a specific apartment. Someone could just waltz right up the stairs to the units.
"Up the stairs."
"It's not the first floor? Are you sure?" Alice asked. She was slightly in the lead.
"Yeah. I'm sure." Sam assured, slightly nudging her to the side, thus taking the lead. Intuition told him Dean wasn't on the ground floor. With each step Sam took, his head started to pound harder. It was like the shittiest game of hot or cold, trying to find an object, but instead the drums in his skull beat louder the closer he got to his brother.
And only one flight of stairs later, Sam was leading them down the hallway of the second floor.
"He's sure it's here?" Seth asked with a large amount of doubt. He had been filled in about Sam's crazy visions between the time he was picked up and the ride over there. And even for someone that had grown up with parents that hunted, and had spent a good majority of his childhood and teenage years being a part of it; it was hard to believe.
"Yes. I'm sure," Sam snapped, hearing Seth's mutterings. He was starting to wonder why this guy was here. Alice had called her cousins, but Seth especially seemed to be an out-of-practice deadweight, especially considering he had no real connection to anything that was happening here.
"Alright, I was just wondering," Seth huffed back.
"Can we focus please?" Alice asked, glancing between the two men.
"Fine."
"I was focused."
"Well then great. Sam, since you seem to know where you're going, please, lead the way." There was anxious sarcasm dripping from her words.
"Keep it together," Sam felt himself snapping backwards.
There was a pulse of silence.
"Hey why don't you watch it, huh?" Sam heard a male voice say from behind him.
"Look, if you wanna lose your shit after we find my brother, fine. But until then, hold it together. I don't wanna go in with someone that can't handle the situation." The words were harsh and fueled by the increasing fire in his head. But at that moment, it didn't matter who was behind him. He was officially on a hunt, a rescue mission. And anyone that couldn't handle it should jump ship before it was too late.
"It's fine," Alice snapped to no one in particular. She didn't want to seem like the weak link in all of this. "Like Sam said, everyone store your shit away and we can deal with it later."
"Great," Seth muttered. He wasn't particularly upset with either Alice or Sam, but he still felt a certain level of hostility towards his sister. God knew where she was right now. But like Seth was told, he shoved his problems to the side, and focused, like he had every other time he was on a hunt.
The unlikely trio walked to the near end of the hallway-third door from the last. That number read 257. Upon seeing that, something in Sam's mind triggered. He had seen that before. In a pain-filled vision that had caused him to collapse on the sand.
"This is it," he whispered. The assurance in his voice guaranteed no one else questioned if this was the right place or not. He was desperate. Alice was as well. And Seth was there to help, in no position to make any real demands.
Alice pulled out a .38. Dean had given it to her on the hunt the two of them had went on. The kick was still a lot for her. But she at least knew that hidden under her shirt was holy water, salt, and a silver knife-all of which she felt more comfortable using. She was still generally shaky with guns. But again, she realized that the heaviness of the situation caused her to pull out her weapon.
"Okay, follow my lead," Sam muttered under his breath.
Upon hearing that, Seth casually slunk past Alice until he was a bit in front of her. He remembered her on the last hunt when they were trying to find Merrill. And she wasn't completely equipped to deal with what they were about to face.
"Weapons up," Sam muttered lowly. He turned towards the door. And with almost complete assurance, he kicked the door down.
Bursting into the apartment, Sam kept his shotgun tight to his shoulder, scanning the room. Immediately to his left was a kitchen with a black and white tile floor, and terrible mint green colored cabinets. To the right of the kitchen and the door was a small alcove that held a sad, red armchair and a bookshelf with barely anything on it. Ignoring the two empty sights, Sam moved further down the hallway, carefully scanning until he emerged into a living room that heavily resembled a scene from a seventies sitcom.
Sam only had seconds to gather information from the scene. He immediately saw a window overlooking a familiar scene he'd witnessed in a blurry vision. A few feet away from the window, in the middle of the room, was his brother. Dean was barely conscious. He was covered in blood, and the only thing supporting him were the handcuffs around his wrists.
In the middle of the room, between Dean and the couch, was a woman in her mid twenties. She was shirtless, in white lingerie and blue jeans. Her hair was in obvious need of a dye job. She held a knife in her hand and was flecked in blood.
Turning faster than Sam could react to the woman, Talla took a step towards him. "Ciao, caro," she crooned. Sam blinked once, and a second later, her fist flew towards his face.
"Sam!" Alice cried, watching in astonishment as the impact of the blonde woman's fist caused him to sink to fall to the ground. She could hear him groaning as he tried to recover from the strike.
The blonde woman turned towards Alice and Seth. "Well, aren't you two a nice surprise."
Seth's old hunter instincts were kicking in. Without flinching, he fired his weapon into the blonde's head. She was sent back stumbling into the back wall of the apartment.
With the crackle of plaster of the blonde woman hitting the wall, Seth turned slightly to Alice. "Get Dean. I'll-" But in the middle of his speech, the blonde flew from the wall with the speed of the road runner from the Looney Toons animation.
And while Seth was turned to telling Alice what to do, the blonde woman appeared and threw his head against a wall. There was a crack, and Seth was sent stumbling backwards, over a counter separating the living area from the kitchen
Coughing, and brushing off some imaginary dust, the blonde woman in only a bra and blue jeans took a casual step towards Alice.
"Non ho intenzione di farti del male,"
"What?" Alice asked in a high pitched voice.
Talla couldn't help but note how precious Alice was. She was such a doll; so careful and timid, but still trying to be confident and dominant. It was adorable.
"It's okay. We can have girl time. Now, Allie Francine, where is your son?"
"What?" Alice felt herself asking again. She had taken in the scene in front of her but hadn't seemed to process it. Dean was hung up by something, attached to the ceiling, barely awake. Seth and Sam were both unconscious on the floor, their weapons held loosely in their hands.
"Oh come on, Allie." Talla ran a tender hand down Alice's arm. The brown haired woman looked at the demon in a mix of fear and bewilderment. "I know your little ducklings are never far from you. I promise I'll be gentle." In a husky whisper, Talla dragged a finger across Alice's clavicle, where the fabric met her skin.
"What are you doing?" Alice slapped the hand away and took a few cautious steps further into the living room. Dean looked like he was hanging to the edge of consciousness. He was blinking slowly, but didn't actually seem to see anything.
Talla felt herself growing disgusted with the vessel. Shanna was like a bitch in heat, and those base desires were so strong, even the demon was having a hard to reining them in during some moments.
"Alice," Sam hissed from where he was slumped against the wall, begging her to move and not just stand there like easy prey. Ever since they had entered the apartment, the pounding in his head had escalated once again.
"Sammy, it's good to see your visions are working at full capacity." Talla strode over to where he remained on the wall and grabbed his throat. "They're working as well as a bloodhound smelling a trail. My boss will be pleased to know how well you're progressing."
"Your boss?" Sam asked, his voice sounding like sandpaper.
Managing to focus the adrenaline, Alice flung both holy water and salt at the back of Talla.
Letting out an uncontrolled screech, Talla stumbled back from Sam, who dropped to the floor, clutching his throat, vision going in and out.
Spinning around in anger, Talla moved to attack Alice.
"Wait!" Alice shouted, holding out a hand in front of her. In the other, was the bottle of holy water, poised and ready to fling at the demon. "You said your boss...the yellow eyed demon?" Alice asked.
"You're a lot smarter than any of these stupid men give you credit for." With the little amount that Alice knew, Talla was actually impressed with how quickly Alice had put it together.
Alice's hand began to shake a little as the neurons continued to fire and make connections in her mind. The yellow eyed demon was connected to Sam through his visions. And this demon was asking about her son. Who apparently also had premonitions. Alice didn't like the conclusions she was coming to.
Not one bit.
"Your and your boss better stay away from my son. He's had enough encounters with demons."
Talla gave a little golf clap as she took a step towards Alice. She really didn't want to be burnt again, and there was something enticing about the tentative steps Alice was taking. She was a mother who would do anything to protect her children, but there was also an innocent edge to her, one that made her ill-equipped to handle this situation alone.
"Mm, I know you know that's not true. And I can tell you're a lover, not a fighter Alice. So, when it does happen, I don't want you to feel guilty. Because there's nothing you could've done."
"You're wrong. I'll do anything to protect my children."
Talla gave her a sort of sad look. "I believe you. But your anything and everything won't be enough. It isn't enough. There's nothing you can do. I know because, I see you, Alice. I see a scared little girl tiptoeing through life, trying not to upset anyone." Gaining some control of the conversation, Talla crowded into Alice's space, the brunette's back hitting the window.
Laughing at Alice's scrunched up face, Talla stepped back. "I've enjoyed our girl time and wish it could've been a little more X-rated. But just tell me where your son is, and I'll let everyone live, including the little slut I'm wearing."
Alice just watched defensively, arms drawn up in a careful position. She was waiting for the demon to retaliate, but so far, the creature hadn't. And that made Alice more alert than she had been. She knew these monsters were tricky and clever, and she wasn't going to let her guard down.
She knew she wasn't exactly the first choice to go on a hunt with-usually the second. She often froze and aimed her weapon in random places. Her fear wasn't something that would go away immediately. But right now, both Winchester brothers were barely scraping at being conscious-and even if they were, neither of then were awake. And Seth, he was passed out for awhile.
It was all her.
It was all up to Alice.
"You don't get my son."
The demon raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"
Alice gave a succinct, sharp nod. "Yes. I'll pull down the sky, and tear up the earth if that's what it takes to keep my son safe."
Talla gave a small smile at the sincerity of her words. This woman truly believed she could keep her children safe.
"Then I look forward to seeing that."
Alice looked desperately around the room while Talla gave her a chilling, easy smile. The demon didn't seem bothered. Sam was groaning from where he was trying to claw himself up from the wall. Seth was still out. And Dean seemed to be awake but in a different reality.
"What's your next move?" Talla dared, as if reading her mind.
Glancing at Dean once again, Alice felt her articulators groping for an answer. It was like her teeth were gnashing together, tongue sliding across her palate as she struggled for answers. Her eyes flicked back to the demon. In only a bra and jeans, Talla leaned against the nearest surface, a small but sure grin on her face. She was waiting expectantly for Alice to fumble over her words even more.
Opening her mouth even wider, Alice took a shuddering, faltery breath. The air punched against the sides of her trachea as she swallowed it. Talla grinned even wider as it seemed like the other woman could hardly breathe.
Alice felt her lungs shake as she observed the demon, cautiously. The monster was relaxed, like she had the upper hand. Alice inhaled the maximal amount of air she could manage.
And almost as if she was waking from the most peaceful, perfect dream, Alice began to exhale. The words flowed out of her mouth in a natural, poised order. "Omnipotens, qui fugabunt maligni spiritus invoco. Quia pius es, hunc peccatorem ab igne inferni." The words began to slip out of her mouth as easily as water from a stream.
"Mali spiritus in virtute Christi derelinquam hunc," Alice quickly added. Before Talla could move two feet, Alice retrieved the holy water from her pocket and showered the demon in that.
Stumbling back, screaming from the scorch, Talla knocked back against the wall where Sam was still trying to pull himself up. In her attempt to claw off her face from the burning, she tumbled into him, sending him back to the ground, barely awake.
"Cagna! Puttana!" Talla screeched as she heaved herself up from where she stumbled. It seemed her entire outline was smoking. She managed about three steps before she was down on her knees again.
"Pro salute animae ad regiones caeli opimae. Demon abierunt. Fiat misericórdia tua semper Pater, nisi et hos abolere bestiis animam." As someone who had spent a good part of her formative years trapped in the text of a book, Alice had picked up the quality of reading quickly in her head. And the countless kids she had tutored in her older years of Broken Bow had taught her how to recite things quickly. And it was all for those kids that needed help.
In a desperate attempt, Talla's vibrating image writhed against where she stayed slumped on the floor. Her hands moved sporadically, as if trying to claw towards Alice.
"Yeah, just try and get near my family again. Amen."
With a scream that shook the soundproofed apartment to its core, the vessel containing Talla fell into an epileptic fit. Her body jerked from side to side, the molecules around her shaking in distress.
Alice trembled and watched as the body continued to quake more and more. It seemed like the demon was holding fast to the poor human she had chosen to be a parasite for. But at the same time, the body was pulsing upwards as if the actual host wanted the demon gone.
There were several more thumps against the floor as the body slammed up and down, rocking against the Latin, the demon trying to cling tight to the innards of the victim.
But eventually, there was a final reverberation, feeling like a minor earthquake in the near vicinity. The ground rattled beneath their feet for several seconds, but assuredly steadied after awhile.
Hearing only the sound of labored breathing, Alice-her hands spread wide, as if ready to fight-observed the room. The exorcism had seemed to knock Sam back to unconsciousness. But both he and Seth were beginning to stir. The woman the demon had been in was breathing steadily, if shallowly.
Hands vaguely shaking, Alice took several deep breaths as she moved across the floor.
Finally reaching Dean, she placed her hands on either side of her face and tried to gradually shake him awake. She ignored the feeling of her palms becoming slick with his blood, and as clung to him, needing to hear his voice, and see his eyes.
"Dean," Alice said in a quiet voice. She hadn't meant to whisper, but it seemed she couldn't seem to raise the volume of her voice, as if it would cause the demon to return.
Dean, please please please, don't leave me like this.
Her skull and stomach were vibrating. She felt ready to throw up. But by holding back the anxious bile, she was able to sustain some level of control. If she could open her mouth and have words come out instead of vomit, she at least wasn't completely losing it.
In his own head, Dean felt like he was trapped somewhere between dreamland and waking consciousness. The thoughts he had in his head seemed intentional but ridiculous. He couldn't seem to make sense of it all. But at the very edge of his reality, he heard a familiar voice calling out his name.
As if turning his head, the sound seemed to grow louder. Although he didn't seem to be walking towards it on his own, he still felt the intensity of his name increasing in both ears.
And then, as if being sucked through a pinpoint in space, Dean suddenly crashed down, his consciousness spreading out, everything becoming bright and sharp and painful.
Gasping, Dean's wrists scraped against the cuffs as he pulled forward. His body reacted, as if electrocuted, a fish flopping around limply on a dock.
Reacting, Alice's fingers splayed across Dean's face, her grip unconsciously tightening as she nearly shook, seeing his eyes open. "Dean. You're okay. I'm here. I'm here. Everything is fine." She repeated assurances for several minutes, while Dean calmed down and became more aware.
During this time, Sam's vision seemed to miraculously vanish. His head cleared up and he was able to stay on his feet without a fear of tipping sideways. Moving quickly across the apartment, he was beside Alice, unlocking the cuffs with his lockpick kit.
Once free, Dean dropped, Sam and Alice supporting his weight. They moved him to the sunken couch. It was obvious he was becoming more cognizant of the pain. His right arm was stretched across his chest, covering a blossoming red stain on his shirt. Noticing this, Sam moved Dean's arm, and peeled back the shirt, revealing a moderately deep knife wound.
It wasn't that bad, Sam realized. And it really wasn't. Spending his childhood sewing up his father and brother taught him how to identify the severity of a wound from sight.
While Sam took care of his brother, Alice went to tend to her cousin. He was sprawled across the kitchen floor, awake, blinking slowly at the ceiling.
"Seth. Seth!" Alice said, placing a hand on his shoulder. The only indication he gave was that he heard her was the small swivel with his head. Alice performed several other quick tests and decided he was stable and awake, but still a bit out of it.
Alice forced herself to to take a clinically cold, medically unattached stance. After testing him, she sighed slightly. Alice placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're going to be okay. Alright?"
Deciding he would be okay for a few minutes, Alice moved towards the blonde woman on the floor.
"Hello? Can you hear me? Can you tell me your name?" Alice asked, slowly and deliberately. Based on her assessment, the woman didn't seem to conscious.
There was an airy response from the voice on the couch. "Her name is Shanna. She has two kids and likes kinky sex." Dean tried to laugh through the sentence, masking some of the pain.
"What?" Alice asked, slightly horrified.
"Don't worry," Dean coughed. "We didn't." He laughed again, painfully.
"I don't see what's funny here, Dean. I just saw you being tortured over and over in my head for the past few hours. And I mean if you could see yourself right now-"
"You had a vision of me?" Dean's tone had become determinedly more somber.
"Yeah. That's how I knew something was wrong. And Noah knew too."
Upon hearing that Noah had his own type of vision, Dean felt his stomach drop. That demon had said that he was simply the bait for those with some fucked up connection to Azazel. It made Dean's teeth grind together when he realized that his little brother was connected to the demon. But the fact that made his heart scream in pain was that Noah also had a connection to Azazel.
Carefully glancing over at Alice, Dean didn't miss the accusatory glare she lobbed his way, before quicky turning back to check on Shanna.
"What'd the demon want, anyways?" Sam asked.
"Nothing. They were just a psycho monster."
"You sure about that?"
"Sammy, everything's fine."
Watching his brother carefully, Sam could immediately tell that Dean was lying. There was something he wasn't going to say. But seeing Dean covered in blood and holding back pain, he knew now wasn't the time to try and pry the truth out his brother. The last time Sam had tried to confront Dean, he ended up blowing up and getting dragged off by a demon.
"Well if that's the case, then let's get you in the car. Can you walk?" Sam positioned Dean's arm around his shoulder.
"Yeah. It's mostly my torso that hurts."
Alice felt a wave of nausea pass over her.
"Get him to the car," Alice said, tossing the keys to Sam. "I'll stay here and make sure Seth and she are okay."
Alice kept herself turned away as Sam heaved Dean out of the apartment. She listened to every, labored breath accompanying each thudding step. It seemed close to a hundred years when the apartment door finally shut behind them and Alice was left in the aftermath.
With his eyes screwed shut, Noah was mentally singing the words to the most annoying songs he knew. While it was hard to concentrate, it made him lose all sense of time.
And suddenly, there was a sharp intake of breath and someone exclaiming in a distressed voice nearby.
Eyes snapping open, Noah watched Cara jumping out of the car, on the verge of tears and she ran towards the apartment building. Just revealing themselves from the door was Sam and Dad, the latter who was slung around their uncle.
Noah remembered hearing his Dad's screams and then froze suddenly. He couldn't hear them anymore. His mind was silent. And he could think clearly.
"Oh thank God," Noah sighed, realizing the pain and dizziness and ringing in his head was over.
"Dad!" Cara yelled as she approached the brothers. About to launch herself at Dean and give him a hug, Sam stopped her with one arm.
"Be careful," their uncle admonished.
To make a point, Dean shoved away from his brother and held an arm out to Cara. "I promise I'm not gonna break."
"We were so worried," Cara cried softly into his shoulder, as she wrapped her arms around him.
With her head tucked into the crook of his neck, Dean tightened his grip on her with one arm. The other, he slowly pulled away from her when he saw Noah climb out of the backseat.
The boy looked incredibly young and fragile in that moment. His black hair was messy, as if he was yanking his hands through it. There was a glossy sheen over his blue eyes like he was holding back tears.
Approaching slowly, Noah looked like he was seeing a ghost. From the way Dean was screaming before, it was sort of a wonder that the man was even alive, let alone standing.
Noah was so sure that they were going to find his dad dead.
That's why he made sure his footsteps disturbed as little as possible. He was afraid that the closer he got, Dean would dissipate like a mirage of smoke.
After a few more steps, Noah was within reaching distance of his father. But his arms had gone limp, so he just stood there and stared. He stared at his dad's broken and bloodied face, seeing replicated flashes of Dean's face moving around the screams that had wracked his body.
With a blink, the image of Dean's face distorted into a scream was banished.
Taking a sharp breath, Noah had to regather his bearings, assuring himself that the screams he heard were only because he was remembering, and not because he was actually hearing them. After all, here was his dad right in front of him.
"Noah."
Glancing slightly to the left, he recognized his sister, who had pulled away from the hug and was watching him with a mixture of understanding and worry. No one else besides her really knew how bad things were. Besides from the things he heard in his head, she was the only one that understood what he went through. From living without a father for years, to being possessed, she was always the one that had been there.
Swiveling his attention to their father, Noah took another tentative step and then stopped.
"Do you still hear it?" Cara asked.
Noah shook his head. "No. It's gone. But I still remember it."
Frowning, Dean glanced between his children. Sam stood to the side, ready to grab Dean incase he collapsed. But other than that, he made himself scarce.
Taking a deep sigh, Cara seemed to appear older than ten in that moment. Taking a step towards her brother, she placed a careful hand on his shoulder, and turned so she faced the same direction as him. "Dad's okay. He's right here and he's fine. I swear. Look, you're gonna be okay and he's gonna be okay. I'll make sure of it. It's okay. Everything is okay."
Accepting the words of his sister, Noah rolled forward, almost like a wave crashing into the sea. Still, he stopped short and watched his father again.
"Noah?" Dean finally asked.
Noah stilled.
"I'm okay. Really. I am."
Noah's mouth opened slowly as his brain tried to form the words. "I heard you."
"Heard me?" Dean asked.
"He had a vision," Cara supplied quietly, trying to remain invisible like her uncle.
"I heard you screaming. It sounded like you died," Noah supplied. The words spilled out of his mouth and he couldn't stop them.
"I know I may look worse for wear, but trust me, I'm okay," Dean assured. He held out both arms and hushed Sam as his brother silently pleaded from the side. Dean just needed both of his kids to be okay.
"But...I heard you screaming and yelling in my head."
Dean's shoulders slumped. "Noah? C'mere."
Slowly Noah stepped forward until his father's arms were securely around him. It was only a few seconds later, in his father's embrace, that Noah believed he was maybe safe.
"I'm okay and we're all safe," Dean whispered into his son's ear.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Noah muttered into his father's shoulder.
Dean tightened his grip around his son. "Yes. I'm sure I'm fine."
There was a jerk and suddenly, Noah was separated from his father. Looking at him with baleful eyes, Noah breathed heavily a few times. No one asked what was wrong, and maybe it was because they all knew what was wrong.
"No." The young boy stumbled back, remembering the echoes in his head. Grabbing him, Cara helped him remain steady. Sam grabbed at them phantomly, hoping to reach them from where he stood near his brother.
"You're not fine," Noah finally deduced.
"What do you mean?" Dean asked.
And he continued, no longer leaving everyone else in suspense.
"You told that demon you wanted to die."
"How are you feeling?" Alice asked. She wrapped another blanket around the shoulders of the shivering woman.
"I...don't know," Shanna said, her teeth chattering together. It felt like she had just been rescued off the peak of Everest.
And it was true. The only thing she knew was that she felt cold. There was a strange, hollow feeling inside of her, like the place where her soul would be. If it were real. But, hell, demons were real so maybe that meant God and all that crap was true too.
Suddenly, Shanna felt a bit self conscious. In a very nihilistic fashion, she had never believed in any higher power or anything at all. There was no meaning in the universe. Everyone was just here by chance and when you died, that was it. You went in the ground and rotted and ceased to exist in every sense of the word.
But what if that wasn't the case? Did that mean that there was a god that had been watching her over her shoulder for her entire life? The idea honestly creeped Shanna out. But if there was a god and he got to decide if she was thrown into a pit of fire, surely her track record wasn't that great. It currently looked like a crime scene in her apartment. The furniture, walls, floor-and even the ceiling-was spattered with blood.
And it was because of her. She had done that. Well, not on purpose, but Shanna was forced into the back of her mind while a monster used her. That really pissed her off. She had always imagined her life in two chunks. The first chunk was when she was innocent and a kid. The second part began in a horrific fashion. At just nineteen, a sophomore in college, Shanna vaguely remembered her wrists being pinned over her head and a sharp pain she had never felt before.
Something inside Shanna broke after that night. And she swore that for the rest of her life she was never going to let someone violate her or do anything to her against her will.
"I can't believe what that fucker did to me and what it made me to do that man," Shanna muttered quietly.
Alice sighed and sat on the arm of the chair Shanna occupied. "I know how unfair all of this can be."
"Understatement," Shanna scoffed. "How are you doing?" She asked, directing the next context to Seth. He sat on a kitchen chair, a frozen bag of peas held to his head.
"I'm gonna have a nice baseball sized bruise, but I'll live."
"Sorry for throwing you across the room," Shanna offered.
Seth waved a hand. "It's nothing." It wasn't the first time he had been thrown across a room by a monster. And it certainly wouldn't be the last.
Moving over to her cousin, Alice did several quick tests on him, and was pleased to see that his pupils were a normal size, could focus and track her hand.
"How'd you take out the demon?" Seth asked.
Alice sighed and glanced back at the woman. "Maniglia's Prayer."
Seth nodded. Compared to how Alice had been when they found the nest of vamps to handling a demon by herself, she really had proven herself. "You did good."
"Thanks."
Seth watched Alice for a moment, how uneasy she seemed. "What's wrong?" He asked.
Turning quickly, Alice didn't have time to try and compose herself. "Dean. I'm just...I'm so mad at him and yet I know I shouldn't be. Especially after everything that's happened to him."
"We've all had a rough ride," Seth said, his voice becoming dispassionate. If there was one thing that irritated him about Alice, even when they were young, it was how she always put others needs above her own. And at the surface, that didn't sound like a completely terrible thing. But it manifested itself in her feeling guilty and victimizing herself every time someone was upset, like it was her fault. And for the short while that he'd been reunited with his cousin, the most annoying things about her were already coming out.
Noticing the change in his tone, Alice frowned, dropping the rag she was using to wipe up blood from the floor. "What's wrong?"
Seth shook his head. "Just...stop feeling sorry for yourself."
"What? I-I-"
"I don't need to deal with you moping because you're blaming yourself for everything bad that happened."
Alice went to defend herself, but stopped. In her head, she knew Seth had a head injury and it was possible he wasn't thinking clearly. And really, she didn't have enough energy to argue with anyone right now. She knew she had to save all of that for when she talked to Dean. And getting in a heated argument with someone else would only make her angrier for later, when she knew she needed to be calm.
"Let me just finish cleaning up and I can call your sister," Alice sighed, grabbing another towel that was nearby, going to wipe up Dean's blood.
The dank hallway stretched into a void. Her hollow footsteps were swallowed up by the high ceilings and thick carpet. Head craning from side to side, Alice squinted as she read the faded room numbers, until she found the correct one.
"God, Sam. You couldn't've gone to a Super 8 or something?" Alice muttered, as she glanced suspiciously down either side of the hallway. If any place was haunted, it was this crappy, rundown hotel that he had picked.
After knocking on the door several times, Alice heard Sam's voice saying "move back".
A few seconds later, he cracked it open, and sighed when he realized it was her.
Alice entered the room as Sam put the safety on his weapon and placed it back into his pocket. "I know, I know. Look, I'm just gonna step out and get some painkillers" he said, when he saw Alice looking around the room with a mixture of disgust and apprehension.
Quickly, the door shut behind him and he was gone.
"Mom!"
Spinning around, Alice grabbed Noah into a hug. There was more energy in his step-despite still being on crutches-and he seemed to be able to hold his head up without feeling the pain or the sounds of his father screaming.
"Do you feel better?"
Noah nodded. "I don't hear it anymore."
"Well, thank God for that." Alice wiped some hair out of his face. "Where's your sister?"
"In the other room. With Dad."
Standing apprehensively, Alice placed her hands in her back pockets. "Why don't you stay out here while I talk to Dad, okay?"
Noah agreed with no quarrel. He could tell now was not the time to mess with his mom. Instead, he took a seat on the weird, red velvet couch and flipped through the TV, hitting the remote every few clicks. From the other room, there was a rising, whiny voice that made Noah cringe.
And a few seconds later, a red-faced Cara came out of the bedroom, the door slamming behind her.
With a huff, she sat down next to her brother and tried to reach for the remote.
"Hey!" Noah yelled. He kicked his casted leg at her.
"That thing is a weapon," Cara pouted, crossing her arms, leaning back onto the couch.
"Well, at least I get it off next week," Noah informed, returning to the TV.
"What do you think they're talking about?"
He rolled his eyes. "Dunno, Care."
Her eyes swiveled to him, almost accusing. "Don't you care?"
"I don't really wanna know what they're talking about."
"Really? Because I-"
Noah muted the TV and turned towards his sister. "Look, I don't want to know and neither do you. Whatever they're gonna say will just make you upset."
Her mouth dropped open slightly, but she managed to close it a second later. "That's not-"
"It's true. It is. And it's not about you being too young or whatever. It's just none of your business."
"They're our parents."
Noah turned on the volume on the TV. "Fine. If you wanna go listen in on what they're saying, be my guest. But I'm not gonna waste my time, because I don't care."
Cara squinted her eyes at her brother. She could tell he was trying not to care, but this hitting him harder than he was letting on.
"You do care."
"No I don't."
Cara scoffed. "Don't BS me, Noah. You heard Dad screaming. And you heard what he said while he was being tortured."
The young boy felt himself shutting down. "You heard what he said. Dad he didn't mean it. He was just in a lot of pain."
"What if he really did want to die?" Cara asked, partially to herself.
"Don't say that. Cara, he said he didn't mean it!" Noah responded in distress.
"But what if he did?" Cara's voice fell to a whisper. "Noah, we've lost him before. And I can't do it again."
They were quiet as the words lulled over them. Noah tried to think of something to say, but there wasn't anything that would make it any better. After all, he was just a kid and so was Cara. There was only so much either of them could do. And Noah felt that he had done all he could in that moment.
"I don't know," the little brother responded. His voice was empty, all of the force and will behind it gone away.
Realizing that her fear had come to fruition in her brother's mind as well left the young girl in silence as well.
To cushion the heaviness of their reality, Noah put the TV back on and tried to drown out the memories of his father begging for death.
Alice closed the painted black French doors leading to the bedroom. Everything in the room was dark and foreboding, really irritating Alice with how heavy handed and literal everything about the situation was.
She sighed. This would've been so much easier if she could do this on a beach or a Hilton.
Turning carefully to the side, Alice dared to glance at Dean out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't hold the gaze for long and was already staring and the severely decorated room, trying to focus on anything else.
"Allie."
The sound of that nickname triggered something inside of her. Like books falling from a collapsing shelf, her body viscerally reacted to the voice. Instinctually, she felt herself gravitating towards him, a star falling into the orbit of a planet.
Stopping herself before she could take a step, Alice composed herself once again, focusing on the wall. It had a paisley pattern that seemed straight out the wall paper in a haunted house. The entire place set her on edge.
"I hate it here," she said mechanically.
"The room or the city?" Dean asked.
"The room. I don't know. Maybe both now." Jan died here and Dean almost had.
As someone who had grown up in a small farming town, Alice had been a contrarian in the sense that she hated big cities. She never yearned for the bright lights and big crowds as a teenager, the way other small town girls did. For her, a mid sized suburbia was the perfect temperature.
"We can leave."
"You're hurt."
"I'll be okay."
Since Dean had yelled at Merrill, until now, Alice thought she could remain mad at Dean and not respond to him. She thought she had the power to do that.
But apparently she didn't.
"You're not okay! Stop pretending like you will be!" Alice said sharply but quietly, aware that Cara and Noah were just one room over.
Turning away towards the door, Alice viciously swiped away some tears that were starting to form. Normally, she was always able to keep her composure, but Dean was the one thing that always made her lose her mind.
Running her hand through her hair, Alice stared at the dark painted door as she began to speak, knowing that if she looked at him, she'd lose it again. "Why didn't you tell me Noah was having psychic episodes like your brother?" Her voice was calm, a storm brewing beneath the surface.
There was a swell in the silence. "You've had enough to worry about." It was a flimsy excuse. Both of them knew that.
Tears finally managed to slide down her cheeks. Alice tried not to choke on her words. "He's my son too. You don't have the the right to keep something like that from me. Not when it comes to them."
Finally gaining the courage to turn to him, Alice stared at him full on, eyes red and watery. "I swear to God if you ever keep something like that from me again you'll never see them again."
Even more submissive, Dean looked down at the blanket covering his legs. "I understand."
Alice took an aggressive step forward. "I mean it. Look, I'm their mother, Dean. I need to know what's going on with them.
"I know you've kept secrets in the past, and I'm sure you're still keeping some, but anything that has to do with either Cara or Noah, you tell me. If not, then you are gone. Do you hear me? Do you?!"
Dean nodded once.
Alice let out an angry breath. "Good."
Sighing, Alice whipped back around, glaring at the door.
She really hated it.
"What happened to you?" Alice eventually asked.
"It was just some pissed off demon," Dean responded.
"Really? That's all? Nothing else?" Alice demanded.
"No," Dean responded. "Nothing else."
"Are you sure?"
Most of Dean's mind was focused on the fact Yellow Eyes wanted both Sam and Noah. Maybe they were different generations but it seemed the demon had claimed tribute on both of them.
"Yeah. That's all."
Hand cupping her forehead, Alice watched as Dean stared at her steadily. She couldn't believe how easy it was to lie to her face, even after she had asked him for the truth.
"You know, I've always tried to accommodate you. Even when you left me behind in Broken Bow, and then when you came back when Cara was a baby. And then all those times you left and I didn't know what you were doing or if you were going to come back. But I always always let you back in."
"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, still playing dumb.
"Don't patronize me, Dean! I have never been stupid but somehow you always turn me into an idiot! I'm talking about the fact that when I was exorcising the demon, she told me that Yellow Eyes wants Noah!" To punctuate the lie, Alice's hand shot out, towards the door, one room over from where their son was watching TV.
Alice watched Dean with the most baleful look she could muster. If he weren't confined to a bed, Dean probably would've taken a step back.
"I gave you a chance to come clean with me," Alice eventually hissed. She had caught Dean in his lie, and now, all he could do was sit there in silence. He wasn't confirming or denying if she was right or not.
And that just frustrated her further.
"The demon told me she wanted Noah before I exorcised her. And it was because of his powers. The one you kept from me."
Peering at him, Alice took a menacing step forward, until her knees were pressed to the edge of the bed. With her knees pressed against that bed, she wanted to lose her mind. But, there seemed to be something that stopped her from screaming like a banshee, everything she wanted to say.
"I've always told you everything. Why can't you do the same to me?" Alice asked. Now, she was pleading, trying to keep the tears at bay. It seemed like every heartfelt conversation with Dean ended with her prying information from him as she tried to keep herself from falling. Thinking to herself, she honestly wondered how she had managed to stay together for song. And the answer was Cara and Noah.
But it was also Dean. He had given her a reason to go on.
And, although most cuts were healing, he felt them. But, even the minor ones throbbed with every heartbeat.
"I don't know what it's gonna take for you to tell the truth with me! It seems like every part of or relationship has been built on some kind of lie! And even though I understood the ones in the past, now; I don't anymore. You hear me?"
She let the words resonate in the air. The room was very echoey so the sounds of her impassioned speech reverberated around the desolate space.
But still, that was the only sound she heard.
"There's something broken between us, Dean. You won't come clean with me. No matter how many chances I give you. I don't know where that leaves us." The last sentence had Alice hanging her head sadly.
Clenching his bloodied fists, Dean shifted on the bed, willing himself to sit up straighter. Each word Alice spoke left another imprint on his already battered heart. At this point, it was a miracle the thing was still ticking away as steadily as it was.
It was something Dean hated.
In the next few quiet moments, Alice, still dejected, reached for the door handle.
"Really? You're just gonna leave after that?" Dean asked suddenly.
Turning to him, she was almost accusing. "What else am I supposed to do?"
"You want me to come clean with you?" Dean finally inquired. Seeing Alice almost leave caused him to panic.
"That's all I've ever wanted." Even though she was sincere, her voice was still dripping in sarcasm.
Normally, it took a lot from Alice for Dean to get surly with her. And honestly, he wanted to keep his mouth shut, but she was so insistent, so nagging, for him to speak his mind.
"You really want to know?" He asked again, partially wondering if she would change her mind at the last minute.
"YES! Fuck! That's all I've ever wanted from you, Dean!" She didn't know how many times in how many different ways she had to tell him that.
Dean let out a relentless laugh. It was his main defense mechanism to hide his anger and pain. And after talking to Alice, that was what he was going to roll with.
"You want me to come clean with you?" His voice adapted an abrasive edge, matching how he felt after being interrogated by her. Normally, he would feel guilty, but after feeling flayed alive, this almost seemed like an annoyance.
"First of all, I love you. Okay?"
"Sounds like you're trying to butter me up," Alice muttered, not unlike a petulant teenager.
"I'm trying to talk to you like an adult. So could you act like one?"
Alice's mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?"
"Look, in all of the time I've known you, I have never told you to be quiet, but if you don't shut your mouth now, I will actually tell you to shut your mouth. So please, can you just shut up?"
Offended and concerned at the same moment, Alice nodded, and placed her hands in her lap, her first inclination to tell him to shut up. "Fine."
"Great. Okay, look. You wanted me to come clean with you. So I will."
Alice just stared at him with an undecipherable expression.
Deciding to speak while she was still in shock, Dean continued with the unfortunate truth. "You wanted me to come clean with you. You want me not to lie to you. That's what I'll do. When the demon got me, I didn't try to get away. I didn't even fight back. I let her do what she wanted to me.
"You want me to come clean with you? I wanted to die. I wanted the demon to kill me and and end the pathetic existence my father saved. I was passive and weak and wanted it to end. Is that clean enough for you?"
As she had waited for silence, that was what he did now, not waiting for her response.
"There's nothing broken between us, Alice. I'm the one that's broken, and I'm never going to be the man you need."
"That's not true."
Her voice was weak, as if she didn't believe him.
"Which part isn't true?"
"The part where I need you."
Dean scoffed and his ribs hurt. "When did you need me? When I left you after Broken Bow? Or after the Screaming Angels case? What if I leave you again?"
She was already crying. Solid streams of tears were dripping down both of her cheeks now. "You wouldn't," she said wish assurance. "Would you?" She asked, unsure. Her tone had completely changed.
"No. I really don't want to. I never did." Dean sobered up, his tone becoming more forceful. "But you need to know, I'm living on borrowed time. As a hunter, I always have been."
"Dean-"
"No, Alice. You need to hear this. Look, I never want to leave you again, but you have to understand that I should be dead and my dad should be alive. That's the hunter's way." He thought of the irony of his words. He had been so adamant on keeping Alice and the kids away from this life. And even through his admission of everything that had happened, there were a twisted part of him that instinctively knew that to be fully safe, they needed to know how to defend themselves.
It was a double edged sword that would cut them of both sides.
God, Dean was a terrible father.
"I'm sorry that this is the world our children live in."
The silence spread between, like a spider spinning an elaborate web. Mixed between the things left unsaid were the implications that were evident to the two of them.
After several minutes, Alice stood up. Descending into nursing mode, she hovered over Dean, checking several of his cuts, making sure they were cleaned and bandaged correctly.
He hissed in pain as she pulled back a particularly large bandage, covering a deep gash across his chest.
"Life kinda sucks," Alice admitted.
Normally Dean would've scoffed in agreement, but he was trying to move as little as possible.
Moving back to her spot on the edge of the back, Alice sat with her back slightly turned to him, as if shielding herself.
There was an imposing, dark grandfather clock in the corner of the room. Neither of them had really noticed it until the awkward silence, but every tick from the clock sounded like a dying man's final heartbeat. It really fit in well with the gothy aesthetic of the rest of the suite.
Finally, the ticking was drowned out by Alice taking a steep breath. Standing quickly, she moved to the door and held her ear near it, listening to the sounds of some stupid show Cara and Noah were watching, undoubtedly something she wouldn't have been allowed to watch when she was a child.
"Dean, I know how you feel," Alice said, as she turned to face him once again.
He frowned, but didn't say anything, trying to figure out what she was talking about.
Body suddenly feeling like it was numb, Alice screwed her eyes shut and tried to bring warmth back to her limbs. There was the faint sound of water trickling around her.
"Alice!"
At first, the voice sounded like it was far away, like a voice yelling from the shore.
"Allie!"
Blinking harshly, Alice returned to her body. She was in her late twenties. She had two children. And she was currently yelling at her-Dean. She really didn't know what to call him. The father of her children? That sounded so impersonal. But boyfriend? That was a level of commitment they had never discussed. Lover? That just sounded impermanent.
"Hey!" Dean was snapping his finger, holding his hand as high as it would go without hurting.
"Yeah. I'm here," she replied.
"You okay?"
Back in reality, Alice evaluated the situation. "Did you know life is the messiest thing that can happen to you?"
"Sure, I believe that," Dean responded, wary.
"It's also one of the most beautiful things that can happen."
"What are you talking about?"
"That's what an old fisherman told me when I was a teenager."
"What?"
"Dean." Alice moved towards him again. This time, she knelt on the side of the bed and grabbed the closest hand. "I need to tell you something."
Immediately, he started to panic. Although he didn't show it, his mind whirred with a million different possibilities of what she was going to say.
"What?" This time his inflection was different.
"I need to tell you something that happened when I found out I was pregnant. After you left."
Dean almost asked "what' again, but was afraid that if he talked too much, she would shut down, like she did when she was a teenager. Instead, he stayed quiet.
"When I found out I was pregnant-I couldn't tell my parents. You know that. So...I did something I regret."
She waited for a response but didn't hear one.
"Instead of going to school, I went to the river. You know? The one that ran through town?
"Yeah...I know you remember.
"Anyways. I had just found out I was pregnant. You were gone. And you were a teenager.
"So was I.
"The only thing I could think to do was drown myself."
The ominous grandfather clock resumed its chime, indicating it was the top of whatever the hell hour.
In the few seconds where the clock chimed, Alice's hands were clenched close to her chest, waiting for Dean's response, the roles flipped.
After the panging chimes have finally finished their reverberations, Dean looked at Alice. His face was marred with scars and blood.
"God, I wish I had been there for you," he replied.
A sudden gasp escaped from Alice and she rushed forward, carefully wrapping her arms around him. She tried to keep her tears from leaking into his wounds.
"You don't care that I tried to kill myself?"
" I did the same," Dean replied simply.
"I was pregnant with Cara," Alice said, further incriminating herself.
That part did bother Dean. Honestly, he could hold that over her until the end of time, but he knew his own crimes and knew they far exceeded that, as flippant and cruel as that sounded to their children.
"Are we okay?" Alice asked, into Dean's shoulder.
Looking around the sinister room, Dean was fully aware of the weight of Alice pressing against him. He was also conscious of their two children in the other room.
"We'll be fine," Dean assured.
They had to be.
I'm sorry this chapter took so long. I graduated college, and was doing grad school things. I also went on vacation. I've had a lot going on but I hope this chapter will make up for it.
Thank you for everyone that has shown interest in this story.
I really appreciate the reviews, honestly, any feedback I crave.
Again, I can't thank you enough for everyone that has favorited and followed. It really makes this story worth it.
V.