Updates might get a little slow, having phone issues which means no wifi to get on the laptop with. I'm updating now from my husband's shop (( perks of being married to the manager)) , but hopefully it wont be too long.

Not my favorite chapter here but it gets the job done… good, juicy, gossipy things to follow….

Chapter 37

He's nuttier than squirrel shit….

My sneakers were squeaking against the linoleum on the hospital floor as I practically jogged my way to the nurses station from the elevator. What in the hell had happened? Where was he at? Was he okay? Why didn't anyone think I should know?

The call had came from Wendy only 20 minutes ago and it'd taken me longer to walk the few houses over to Lyla's than it had to drive to St. Thomas where he was at. She'd been talking lowly trying not to be overheard by Jax I knew without even asking. Don't tell anyone it was me that called she'd requested before hanging up.

I'd grabbed the first clothes my fingers touched out of the closet and I knew my hair was a mess but I could give a shit right now. Juice was hurt. My heart was pounding wildly just thinking of what could be happening to him. I hadn't even given myself time to cry yet. My only thoughts were of him and genuine worry over the man that had worked his way into my heart like no one else before him.

"Excuse me?" I hit the top of the desk trying to flag a nurse down but was ignored and scowled at. "I need to see someone." Still no response from the girl that was on the phone chatting away about what she wanted her boyfriend to drop her off for lunch. "I need some help."

The girl rolled her eyes and cupped the receiver. "If you'll take a seat, we'll be right with you."

Anger swam through my veins but I took a shaky breath going towards the waiting area and noticing now that I knew a couple of the people already sitting down. Chibs, Jax, and Happy were all seated with their concern written all over their faces. Chibs noticed me first and nudged Jax. "How'd you know lass?"

I shook my head dropping down into a chair across from them. My legs were shaky with the adrenaline still pumping from the initial shock of the situation. "How is he?"

"He's in surgery now. They're patching him up." Jax replied rolling one of his heavy rings around his finger. "He'll make it."

I wanted to scream at him, all of them. Had they done this? And why in the hell had Tully stabbed Juice in the first place after promising he wouldn't kill Juice? Why was Juice even in the regular hospital and not the infirmary in the jail? I had so many questions and no one to ask them to.

"Have you saw him yet?" I asked them drawing the sides of Juice's zip up hoodie closer to my body suddenly aware that I hadn't taken the time to yank a bra on in my haste.

"No one has." Chibs answered me flicking me a look that said I shouldn't be here in his opinion. Well too damn bad.

This was my place, I was his girl. Or I thought I was his girl. I had to know he was alright. I just had to. "Maybe we'll hear something soon."

Jax straightened up exchanging looks with the other two that I didn't like. "You should head home. We'll let you know what's up."

"No." I shook my head indignantly. "I'm not going anywhere until I see Juice."

"You sure he'd be good with this?" Jax asked me with a blonde eye raised in question. "I thought he was being a dick."

"He is being a dick but I.. I don't want to talk about that." I shrank further into Juice's too big clothes. It was none of their business if Juice had been on the borderline of cruel the last time we'd spoken to each other.

It felt like hours of me sitting to the side of them not included in their whispered conversation before a doctor came out still in blood spotted scrubs. Juice's blood. All heads whipped in his direction the second we heard the footsteps approaching. "I need to talk to whoever's responsible for Juan Carlos."

"Me." Jax said rising to his feet quickly sliding his hands into his pockets. "You can talk to me. I'm his brother."

The doctor raised an eyebrow at him then shook his head. "'fraid that doesn't help me. He's to be looked after by a Gemma Teller. He'd already signed the papers in Stockton."

"What papers?" Chibs asked going to stand with Jax trying to intimidate the poor doctor.

He didn't give in to their dirty looks. "He was being medically discharged before this incident on the grounds that he was looked after by another responsible being. He'd chosen Mrs. Teller to handle things for him."

"There was nothing wrong with him before this." Jax argued back just as confused as I was.

"Look." The doctor rolled his head cracking his neck. "I shouldn't even be telling you this but since I'm sure you know who this Gemma is, he was being released on a mental illness. They were making a suggestion that he find help and wasn't competent during his little crime spree. Or so the papers said that they gave me."

Chibs frowned and Jax looked stressed. Happy…. Stayed the same. "She's on her way now. But why… " Jax stopped looking over at me. "Thanks doc."

"Tell Mrs. Teller to ask for me." He nodded at all of us before disappearing through the double doors again.

"You know anything about this mental illness?" Jax asked me turning to face me.

I was caught like a deer in someone's headlights. I had no idea whether to tell the truth or lie through my teeth. Don't trust them was ringing in my ears again and again. "Juice is fine." I emphasized the fine heavily. "He's not crazy. He's not."

Because if he was, that made all of us crazy right along with him.

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Gemma was the only one allowed to step to the side and whisper with the doctor while the rest of us hovered as close as we could trying to pick up a piece of the conversation without much luck. She just kept nodding as they spoke until he gave her a pat on the shoulder and she turned to us.

Even this late at night the queen was still dressed to the nine in her leather jacket, heavy belt, and black skinnies with boots. Her make up was flawless when her smirk fell on me making me realize it was my appearance she was mocking more than me in general.

"Well?" Jax asked cocking his eyebrows up, one hand cupping his goatee as we gathered around her.

"Doc said he had 4 shallow stab wounds. Tully didn't aim to kill, nothing was punctured but he's going to be staying for a few days to make sure he can move on his own somewhat." Gemma explained placing a hand on her bony hip. "Surgery went well, their worried about infection more than anything."

I covered my mouth hiding my shock and horror from the others at what my own family had done to him. I knew without a doubt it was because of me more than them. "Is he awake?"

Gemma glanced at me again shaking her head. "Not just yet. Still out from the anesthesia."

"You want to explain this guardianship bullshit to us?" Chibs asked her going to stand closer.

Gemma pursed her lips like she wasn't going to say anything on it then sighed shaking her head again, this time in a despaired motion. "They think he's off his rocker. Me? Not so much. I think he's just being Juice. I told them I'd keep an eye on him. No promises about the help they suggested."

"Good." Jax agreed looking relieved that Juice wasn't about to be shipped off to the nuthouse. "If it gets him off for what he did, then great."

"He doesn't like to be alone." I explained softly wringing my hands in front of me. "He told me that before when he was- well, when we first met. It was why he let me stay with him."

More squeaky sneakers other than my own sounded on the floor, making us all look to see who was approaching us now. A middle aged nurse in light pink scrubs was coming out with gloves still on her hands. She smiled at all of us politely not thrown off by our appearances.

"Mr. Ortiz is awake." She said pleasantly causing us to start, Gemma started in the direction of the room until the nurse touched her arm. "He's asking to see his 'pretty girl', and I'm going to assume its this young lady here."

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Juice was laying in a hospital bed with pillows behind his back when I followed after the nurse into his room. His eyes were sleepy little slits that he could barely hold open judging from the looks of things. Dark circles hung underneath them, his skin was whiter than normal and showed me just how bad this was. "Hey baby." he whispered when I approached the bed.

I felt the tears prickle underneath my lids, smiling back at him. "You scared me." I laid a hand on his head, feeling the stubble where hair was growing back in from not being able to shave it.

"I scared me." Juice joked weakly, his eyes were opened all the way now. "I didn't know if you'd be here."

"'course I'd be here. I came as soon as I heard, the guys are in the lobby too. And Gem." I rubbed his cheek with my thumb.

He licked his lips before speaking again. "I meant at all. Here, my house, anywhere. I was a dick to you."

"It's okay. I know I was just bugging you by popping up. I shouldn't have ever went to see you, you were right. Because I.. I think I caused this." my voice cracked on the end. "I think Tully did this because of me."

Juice shifted slightly then groaned freezing instead of flipping like he'd been about to. "You didn't cause this. I caused this. It was bound to happen."

This was going to be excruciating to admit, I knew without a doubt. "He knew I was with you, and I went to see him. I thought the club was going to- so I talked to him and he did this. And I'm so sorry. I can't even say how shitty this feels."

I expected him to react differently than he did. His eyes dipped closed, no change in his steady breathing. "I thought they were too, but they didn't. I did what I was supposed to."

"You're not… mad?"

"I'm mad. I just hurt too much to talk about it." he admitted opening his eyes back up again. "And I don't want to fight. I don't want to be alone anymore."

I leaned down to kiss his temple with my wet from crying lips. "I won't go anywhere. I'll stay all night if they'll let me."

As it turned out, Juice having visitors was a sore subject. He needed his rest, and me being in his room was a distraction. The even bigger distraction came when the others snuck themselves in past the nurses station and crowded around the bed with me, Gemma included.

Juice was struggling to stay awake, I could tell by the way his voice was heavier with every word he spoke. "I'll be able to ride tomorrow." he pointlessly tried to assure his friends who grinned back at him.

Chibs grinned down at him reaching a hand down to rub his head gently. "I think you see should worry about being able to stand up to take a piss before you straddle a Harley, brother."

"'m good. Swear it. Just a flesh wound." He tried again getting more chuckles. "I have a nurse and everything."

"I don't think you're up to that kind of nursing yet tiger." Gemma told him from the other side of his bed.

Hap was the silent one offering only a "I'm proud of you brother." when he came into the room. He was cracking a very small grin at our jokes with the patient in question who was trying again to roll over despite the brand new stitches that were in his back.

We were busted when the nurse from earlier came back in to check his vitals and sighed loudly. "No more visitors. He needs to sleep for a while, gather some strength."

"We'll be back tomorrow man. Talk more in depth." Jax promised him leaning down to plant a kiss on his cheek that made me smile behind my palm. Chibs repeated the action, then Happy only he kissed his head instead.

Gemma pecked both and lingered just a moment. "You have them call me if anything changes. Or I could stay if you want me to sweetheart."

"Lindsey's staying." Juice said softly opening his eyes back up to stare at me.

"I don't you're up for overnight guests." The nurse argued with him getting a halfass glare from her patient.

"Then I'm not staying either." Juice told her making his fifth attempt to sit up again. "I don't want to be alone."

Gemma bit her bottom lip glancing over at me then Juice again. "He's been through a lot. Maybe it wouldn't hurt for him to have a familiar face with him. He gets a little.. Out of sorts."

"I'm not out of sorts. I want her to stay." he demanded again, all scowls and venom which was amusing since he couldn't even seem to move his own body correctly. "She's not going anywhere."

"I'm not leaving you Juice, I told you that." I attempted to reassure him so that he would stop fighting the poor woman trying to take his blood pressure. "Go to sleep and I'll be right here, I swear."

The venom from Gemma was the one that made me shift uneasily when her dark eyes flickered over me again. "I'll be back in the morning. Don't let anything happen to him." It came out as a warning more so than a goodbye when she slid through the door leaving us alone in the room with the nurse.

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Juice's POV

I was sore when I woke up sometime early in the morning when it was still dark outside yet I knew it was the morning just from the quiet surrounding my room. No footsteps up and own the halls, no nurses chattering, and Lindsey was curled up into the chair beside my bed with a blanket asleep.

She looked childlike when she slept. Her chest rose and fall with a slow pace, her face completely at peace instead of worried and crying. I had a feeling like me, Lindsey was only this at peace when she was in a deep tired rest.

I'd gotten her and the nurse to help me flip onto my back at some point and as much as it hurt it was better than trying to stay on my side and sleep. I'd been so exhausted from not sleeping and pain meds that I could have probably still slept like that, but I wanted to be as comfortable as I could on my first night in over a month that I didn't have to fear being raped or beaten once I closed my eyes.

I was mad with her. I knew she'd done something, I just wasn't sure of the complete story yet. Her confession the night before stood out amongst my heavy drug induced stupor. She'd gone to see Tully and talked to him about something, and whatever it'd been had gotten me stabbed. I hated to be upset with her though, after the way I'd treated her since I'd been gone. She'd stuck around for that plus me being a jackass.

"Hey." I croaked out then swallowed to try and make my voice more even. "Lindsey."

She stirred slightly; waking up little by little before she opened her big eyes up completely, registering where she was. "What are you doing awake?"

I smiled back at her watching her stand up letting the blanket hit the floor so that she could come closer to my bed. "You miss me while I was gone?" I asked her reaching a hand out to intertwine with hers.

Lindsey looked sleepy still, her hair was sticking up in odd places and her clothes wrinkled. "More than you missed me."

"Did you burn my house down and lose my dog?" I joked using the little buttons to elevate myself up further.

"Unfortunately, no the little monster is still kickin and running rampant through your house as we speak. So you might not have a couch when I go back home to let her out."

Home, just hearing her refer to my house as home set off a wide array of emotions. I had a girl that was planning on staying around. Someone to live with me permanently. She hadn't strayed while I was gone, hadn't taken off with my worldly possessions. Came running when I was hurt. The fact that she was mothering me just added to the obvious assets she had to offer.

"You wanna tell me about this Tully thing?" I went on, deciding maybe it was better to get everything out of the way.

Lindsey was hesitant, but I could see from her expression that she truly did feel guilty as she told me about her dealing with Tully. About her being afraid the club was going to pop me off and now her scheme had backfired on her plus outed our hidden truths to the a.b. . Part of me was frustrated with her, another part was feeling all warm and fuzzy that she'd cared enough to try and save me. No one had done that before. She was perched on the edge of my bed, pressing against my stomach in an attempt to get as close as she could while we talked. "Are you… mad?"

"A little. Jax is going to be pissed about this when I tell him." Because I had to tell him, I had to explain how everything had went down. How Lindsey had a strong a.b. connection that I'd neglected to tell anyone about. "You don't get involved in club stuff. The club is the club, and we're separate."

She nodded slowly wiggling around a little bit. "I'm sorry Juice."

"I knew it was a possibility. Something could always happen to me, but I'm good now." I could smell her body wash even this far apart. "Just let me worry about me babe."

"Sometimes you don't do such a good job of that." Lindsey dared to say with a raised eyebrow. "I was terrified that… but you're okay now."

I nodded touching the ends of her blonde hair. "I'd be doing better if someone would help me go to the bathroom."

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"If all nurses look like that, maybe I'll get stabbed." Jax joked coming into my room with the rest of the guys flanking him.

Lindsey was helping me back into my bed, after a bathroom trip, one of few she'd helped me stagger to. I could do everything else myself pretty much but walk the few feet in there. Showering was going to be an obstacle. I flashed them a grin climbing back into the covers not caring if my ass showed in the gown to them. "I got dibs on this one. Get your own."

I caught her wrist gazing up at her. "Why don't you run to the house? Check on Whisper and grab me a few things?"

She nodded understanding my suggestion was me wanting to talk in private with the guys. "Okay. I'll be back in a bit, call me if you need anything else." Her lips brushed against mine for a split second before I turned my head away, uneasiness at the contact making me stomach cramp up with nausea.

We waited for her to leave before jumping into anything, everyone settling against the wall or in one of the two chairs in the room. Tig was at the foot of my bed flipping through my chart lazily like he knew what it all meant.

"What in the hell happened in Stockton?" Chibs asked once we were sure we had total privacy.

"It was Lindsey." I sighed reaching up to rub the Mohawk that was no longer there thanks to my hair growing itself out and no clippers available. "Apparently her Uncle Tully didn't approve of her boyfriend."

A shocked silence shivered through all of them, then looks of apprehension. "Wanna explain this one to us?" Bobby said as Jax covered his mouth turning stony as I launched into the retelling of Lindsey's dealings with Tully, her family background, how I'd known and didn't say a word.

They waited for me to finish then starting dissecting the situation. "So Lindsey knows Tully, and after eavesdropping on us, ratted us out to him." Tig said with a scowl. "I knew she was hiding something."

"She wasn't hiding it. She told me Darby was her ex, I guess I never put it all together." Rat intervened with a look at Tig. "She wouldn't purposely do anything to Juice either."

"But she did. And she hurt our ties to the brotherhood." Jax sighed running a hand over his blonde hair. "You still planning on keeping that one around?"

I didn't even have to think on it. "Yes. As long as she's not ready to run screaming, I'm planning on keeping her. Long term." Which was a huge step for me, they all knew that. "I already told her to keep out of club business, went through all of that. She knows it was wrong now."

"We talkin longtime girlfriend here or crow wearin old lady?" Chibs questioned me tilting his chin back.

"Crow wearin old lady."

Jax let out a breath, looking frustrated as hell just like I felt. "I guess this is partly our own fault. We should have made sure they were all dead before we left Gerber's ranch. None of us ever thought anyone would survive that shoot up, and now its coming back to bite us in the ass."

"The way I see it is, if she can forgive me for that shit, then I can forget about this." I told him making it clear where I stood on the subject. "She didn't know this was would happen. I mean, technically Tully stuck to his word."

"Did raping you count as sticking to his word?" Bobby asked me with a face.

Oh shit. They all knew. I ducked my head down, the embarrassment was too much to handle and look them straight in the eyes. "Not talking about that bro. Ever."

"You're good with us Juicy boy. You proved yourself and then some." Chibs said nodding along with his words. "We'll have your kutte waitin for when you're out of here."

"And my girl is okay? No problems there?" I had to ask them.

"Lindsey's alright. She was trying to help, and she might still be able to if she's in that tight with Tully and her dad's a major player in the brotherhood." Jax said with the wheels obviously turning in his mind. "I'm guessing she's going to be calling into work until you're outta here."

I grinned not even sheepish about it a bit. "Yeah. If anyone's sponge bathing me its gonna be her."