Authors Note: Pretty self-explanatory. This and chapter thirty-eight were meant to be one chapter but it got too long so I split them up. It worked out really well that way and while this won't be anyone's favorite chapter it was actually rather entertaining to write, for some reason. Plus, it was long overdue! As I stated before, if you don't understand what's going on you are just going to have to read 'To Sleep Perchance to Dream Part V'. I'm a writer, and as such am not perfect. In fact, I'm not even sure I should give myself the title of writer because my writing does have allot of flaws. That's basically why I keep trying to correct pieces and chapters I've felt drag the story down. If anything reviews are helpful because they give me a heads up outside my own brain as to what works and what doesn't. While I don't particularly care for flamers I will gladly accept them. I'll even take good reviews too.

I have also had more then a few people ask me about Christian's name. It's been a while since anyone has read the first chapter so I'll debrief on the subject once again. I don't like the name Adam. I don't think it suits him. While many believe that that is his official name there has actually been no official statements and since the movie never actually gave the prince a name I chose my favorite boy name. I think it works for him and gives him charm. That doesn't mean you have to think so. Heck, if you want to copy and paste the entire story to a word document and replace every 'Christian' with whatever name you like. It won't hurt my feelings. That said. Love you and as always…review!

Song that Inspired this Chapter was "Do What You Have To Do" by Sarah McLachlan

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage,
created you a monster,
broken by the rule of love?
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.

Every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul.
I'm ever swiftly moving,
trying to escape this desire,
the yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.

A glowing ember, burning hot,
AND burning slow.
Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you.

I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Belle

Belle was furious with Christian. She was angry with Sophia, too, but the problem with that was Sophia was her child. Her headstrong, unbridled, stubborn-as-hell, daughter who had been quite lost to her mother for weeks. She also believed that Sophia didn't understand the demands she was making or she wouldn't make them. With this in mind, the person she was absolutely furious with was Christian. Sophia was still a child to Belle; Christian should know better.

Upon arrival they had to all but carry him to a room that had been immediately vacated by Cogsworth for him to rest. He had fallen onto the bed and slept for two days strait only getting up to go to the loo. During this time Sophia had informed her mother of some deranged arrangement that had been made out in the woods about Sophia's status as a princess. Apparently she had been given permission to renounce her title and work as a servant for the rest of her life. Despite the fact that Belle was delirious with happiness to have her daughter and her husband back with her, she was not stopped from having the strangest argument in the history of their family, with Sophia. The girl raged and cried and attempted to sleep in the servant's quarters and do their chores for them. When her mother forbade her to do any such thing, the argument began to get ugly. Not to mention Sophia still had not changed out of Chip's clothing and returned them to him. The chill that blew in between the two young people, whenever Chip entered the room, could freeze hell. And for the life of her, Belle could not persuade the boy to tell her why. From the time he was little he had always told Belle everything. Now here he was, so very changed from that child she knew, refusing to explain to his queen what had happened on their journey, or even why Sophia was wearing his clothing in the first place. Not that Belle was angry at that idea all that much. She rather envied Sophia for her escape of the usual corset and her ability to move about so freely in Chip's trousers. She toyed with the idea of wearing a pair herself and wondered what Christian would say.

And now here they were with Sophia blatantly discarding her upbringing and her heritage to turn herself into a servant. Belle wondered if it was some sort of reverse in the Cinderella story.

After quite a few angry words between Belle and her daughter, which also resulted in Chip throwing his opinion in against the princess, Sophia cried for her father. Of anything, this shocked Belle the most. She was certain Sophia had not called for her father's help on anything since…since the twins were born, at least. What happened to these three out in the woods? It was something Belle was decided to get to the bottom of. After a little more shouting ensued, Belle came to the conclusion that Christian really should be a part of this. It was his mess after all; he could work it out.

Breaking her resolve to just let him sleep, Belle trooped up to the west corridor of the fortress where Christian's stay room was located. Sophia was positioned between Belle and Cogsworth, with Lumiere taking up the rear and Babette on his arm. Perhaps she was overacting just a tad but Belle was in no mood for any more of these arguments. This was a time to be celebrating and preparing for departure back to Rose Castle. The Chancellors had arrived from Paris to find that their king wasn't in fact dead, after all. Belle was actually looking forward to squelching down Christian's frighteningly ambitious family, every person vying for their claim to his throne.

With a powerful knock, Belle rapped her knuckles against the wood. When no answer was heard she turned her head over her shoulder toward Cogsworth and gave a look that told him not to follow her for a moment.

Opening the door she stepped in and looked around the shabby room. Larger then most in the fortress, it still stank of urine and moldy straw and more layers of dust and grime then Belle had ever seen. She was surprised to see that Christian wasn't actually asleep, as she had supposed. Instead her eyes alighted on his figure sitting in the windowsill of the room, his broken leg propped up along the ledge. He looked over at her with those large bright blue eyes that always seemed to capture her. Not appearing to be quite in the room with her, she took a step in his direction and wondered what it was he could have been looking at out those windows that would make his eyes seem so very sad. But the moment passed and he gave her a wan smile.

"How are you today?" He asked without moving from his spot at the window.

For a moment she wanted to smile back, to tell him her day was perfect and that she was simply here because she wanted to look at his handsome face. All right, bruised face, but to Belle it was still handsome. Except that she knew she had four very anxious people waiting for her out in the corridor and stalling would only bring an interruptive knock from Cogsworth. With a sigh she downed her smile and gave her husband a knowing look.

"We need to speak with you, your highness." She said to him pointedly.

Christian looked at her, confused. "We?"

Belle nodded and then turned around to open the door. The princess and all three of the heads of house entered the room looking more then a little nervous. Still Christian did not remove himself from the windowsill, which Belle found even more peculiar then the fact that he was sitting there in the first place. Perched as he was, he looked like an exhausted bird preparing to once again take flight.

In less then five minutes the entire issue was laid out before him. Sophia made several motions to go stand next to him, but a soft glance in her direction every time stopped her. She could tell he was not happy with her anymore then the rest of the group was. Except that, to her relief, he did not contradict himself and take back the promise he had made in the woods. He calmly confirmed to the group that the decision was made and that was that. Belle gave him a withering look that she reserved only for very dire occasions. He did not shrink from it, merely gave her those same doleful eyes he had when she entered the room.

"Christian! This is our daughter! Do you really want to see her scrubbing out chamber pots!" Belle shouted at him in dismay.

Sophia gulped, having not thought of chamber pots as an option. Christian shook his head and sighed deeply at his wife. Then finally shifted his weight, he took a ginger step onto the floor of the room and carefully put his crutches underneath himself.

"No, Belle. I don't wish to see that, but I have given Sophia my word and I will not take it back." Then taking a step towards her she held very still as he looked down at her face tenderly, but sadly. "I am sorry for the sorrow it will cause you, but you are just going to have to trust my judgment."

Belle half expected him to kiss her again, but he didn't. He merely patted her shoulder gently and maneuvered himself about towards the door. It was an awful feeling. He didn't explain himself, he didn't discuss the matter with her in private, the whole of this conversation had lasted ten minutes and now he had had his say and there was nothing she could do to change the situation. It was one of those moments where she hated being a woman because she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that his say was final. Still, she had not believed Christian would ever go as far as making one of their children a servant. Nothing about it sounded right and she wondered how long she should wait before she brought the issue up again.

With a glance over his shoulder at Belle, he turned his gaze onto Sophia. "And you, I told you that you would begin your work when we arrive back at Rose Castle. Not before. And until you are formally employed and your title as been renounced, you will do exactly as your mother says. I am making arrangements for you and you should have trusted me when I said I would, instead of taking matters into your own hands. Am I understood?"

Sophia cast her eyes to the ground and nodded her head somberly, taking her fathers reprimand with humility. "Yes, Sire" she answered without looking back up at him.

Christian then turned his back on her and gave Lumiere a look that indicated he wanted to be followed.

"Come," he said to his butler "I'm hungry."

Cogsworth and Lumiere nodded. "We could bring you something, instead of you going down those horrible staircases." Cogsworth said, while having mental images of Christian tumbling headfirst down a spiral staircase that led to the dining hall with his crutches clattering behind him.

Christian shook his head. "No, I need to get out of this room. How did you stand it for this whole week Cogsworth? It smells like someone died in here."

There was laughter that echoed down the hallway from the major-domo as Christian continued.

"Besides, I hear the giant boars head still hangs on the wall in the dining hall. It's supposed to follow you with its eyes right before something unfortunate happens."

Belle rolled her eyes at this, being glad her husband didn't carry an affinity for hanging animal heads in their home. If he did, she would fear he would take that awful boar's head home with him.

"Zat is what zey say. Zough I 'ave not seen it do anyzing but look atrocious so far." Lumiere replied to Christian's words. There was more laughter as they walked out further down the corridor and away from her.

Belle felt hurt. He had just walked away from her. After all that happened he was just going to walk away and not continue their argument further. For a moment this was extremely perturbing to Belle. Then she stopped because it suddenly made sense to her. He didn't want to argue. Look what happened to him the last time they had a major argument. Perhaps that wasn't his reasoning, but Belle could believe that it had plenty of influence. And to be honest, she truly didn't want to argue with him either. She wanted him to be reasonable. She wanted him to communicate with her. She wanted him to…. kiss her again. She wondered if he was angry about their kiss. He hadn't seemed so, unless by kissing her with his entire mouth was his new way of indicating he was angry with her.

Belle was so tired of this wall between them. Was nothing going to bring it down? She could see he was hurting. Why wouldn't he let her help him? He had before, what was wrong now? Perhaps if she cornered him, spoke to him soothingly, invited him to her room…

Belle immediately reprimanded herself for such thoughts. She would not make attempts to seduce her husband. She had more dignity then that. He had made it very clear he was not interested in those things with her any longer and she would respect him. He told her he loved her and she believed him with all her heart. That was enough for her.

Yes, Belle was furious with Christian. But for Belle, furious really meant worried. Worried and frustrated and lonely, so very lonely.

"Come along, Sophia." She murmured after a few moments of silence in Christian's rooms. "Lets go and get you changed into something more suitable. Chip will need his clothes returned soon anyways."

Sophia nodded and followed Babette out the door, as she had remained behind after the men had left. Belle for a moment hesitated and then turned around and went to the window Christian had been sitting at. Pressing her hands to the dirty, cracked glass she looked down below the window ledge at the grounds where Christian had been looking.

Right beneath this very room was the fortress cemetery where the soldiers who had died were laid to rest. In amongst the tombs was a very pathetic looking little stone structure that would barely pass for a mausoleum. Covered in moss and ivy it had not been tended to in many years but Belle could still see the inscription on the lintel of the door. Or at least she pretended she could. She traced the name onto the windowpane with her finger and sighed sadly at what she had clearly interrupted when she had just barged into her husband's rooms. As if to hide a very precious secret she whispered a prayer in the direction of the cemetery and hoped that the spirit of Christian's long dead mother would continue to rest and that her memory would no longer follow him with it's sadness and grief. Then for good measure she wiped away the name of Mandolin out of the dirt on the glass and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Christian was slowly making his way down the corridor. For the last three days, after the issue of Sophia's royalty had been discussed, things had gone fairly smoothly. He was feeling much better after getting several proper nights sleep and more or less good food in his stomach. They were scheduled to leave the following morning and would arrive at Rose Castle within a week or so. Christian had spent the better part of the three days with the Chancellors from Paris. They peppered him with questions and a good deal of shouting went on as Christian gave them less then satisfactory answers. Deals were made and he was already preparing his mind for a six months journey to Paris and all across France to try and undo some of the mess that was made from his "death" and then miraculous "resurrection". He promised to leave no later then a week after his family was once again settled in their home and with that he sent the men on their way to go and appease his father's family waiting in Paris for him. The trickiest part was divvying out the punishment for the villagers who had attacked Rose Castle. He had to sound harsh without actually being harsh or people would cease to take him seriously. Time in prison, a few lashes and a heavy fine were placed on all and even then Christian felt like a tyrant. These men were absolute fools but they weren't really murderers. Or at least that's what Christian rationalized as he gave the orders. He would be criticized but there just wasn't much else he could do for the situation without talking to the men personally and well, that might not even help. The real person to ask about these men's intentions was the Enchantress and as far as he knew she wasn't going to come to call just because he ordered her to. He knew this from experience.

After all this was said and done, Christian had one more thing to do. He wanted to do it here. He had a vague hope that if he finished out the unpleasantness at Constantine, then perhaps it could be left where it was told. It was wishful thinking but it was the best he could muster. He hated doing this. He hated that after everything, after all the horrible, awful things that had happened between him and his wife, he now had to hand her another blow that could very well ruin their marriage. This could quite easily be the last nail in the coffin for her and if it was, well…. then he was in serious trouble. But he was resolved to do what was needed and he rested on the fact that Belle was smarter then him. She was filled with a thousand more good qualities then he was and he believed that she would be able to fix their problem.

He was also bringing Cogsworth and Lumiere along with him. If anything, they had a knack for making situations less abrasive. Or so Christian believed.

With the soberest of moods, he approached the corridor where Belle's chambers resided. He would have known his way to this corridor in his sleep. The essence of his mother permeated the very stones. He didn't like the idea Belle sleeping in Mandolin's bed. It was morbid to him and made his quest to tell her the truth more insistent. He would not let her become his mother even if it wasn't by hanging that she would leave him. He would rescue her. But in the process that just might mean he would have to let her hate him for what happened between them. Both Cogsworth and Lumiere did not agree with this, though.

"Sire, is this really necessary?" Cogsworth huffed after ascending the staircase to the second floor.

Christian didn't bother to glance back at him. "Yes Cogsworth, this is really necessary."

"Perhaps if you gave us a logical explanation why, though…"

Christian glared towards the direction he was headed. "I already told you why." He answered shortly.

"Zis is going to break 'er 'eart. Don't you zink she 'as been zrough enough?"

Christian stopped and pushed down on the rungs of his crutches. Turning his body around, he faced his advisors with sadness, but determination.

"I have to do this because if I don't, it will never be fixed. I am tired of living a broken life with her. We did not go through the curse from Hell so that our lives could be torn apart by this. I have been selfish for too long and if I don't tell her, she'll always wonder. She's too smart to just up and forget that for the last six years we have been strangers to one another."

Both men stood and did not know what to say. It had become such a monumental issue to Christian that things had finally caught up with him.

"It was so long ago, master. Does it really matter all that much anymore?"

Christian paused for a moment and then made a very solemn face. "No. What happened does not matter at all. But she matters, she deserves to know."

And with that Christian reached a hand out and knocked on Belle's door. A maid answered promptly and Christian looked inside the large room to see his wife standing next to a table that was set for afternoon tea. She looked curiously as Christian, Cogsworth, and Lumiere all entered the room without a word and dismissed the maids and ladies that had all come for tea. This did not alert Belle to any strangeness. Maids and ladies come and go like butterflies. And for just a moment, Christian studied her. She was very beautiful, he would always think so, but today, as like all the days she had been at Constantine, she was dressed in borrowed clothing. In their escape from Rose Castle Belle had not had time to pack. Upon arrival at the fortress she had been swathed in what could be found and that just happened to be a trunk full of dresses that had been left up in the loft of the tower. They were disgustingly old and moth-eaten and so out of fashion it was laughable, but they kept her clothed and that was what mattered at the moment.

Christian had no stirring of desire for his wife when she wore the dresses of his dead mother. In fact he was almost glad to see her in them for they would keep his mind from becoming clouded with her face, her hair, her chest, her scent. He could think to tell her what he came here to tell her and then when they got home he would ensure that an entire new wardrobe was put together for her in hopes that no traces of his mother's terrible life were left on her perfect skin.

Belle curtsied elegantly in her ill-fitting attire and even gave the three a small smile. "Your Grace." She murmured as if she had been expecting them all along. All three men bowed politely in return, though it was a little less impacting for Christian as he still had his crutches under his arms.

She gestured to the table next to her. "Would you like some tea?"

Christian shook his head and gave something of a half-smile. He liked this formality she displayed when they were in official situations but he much preferred her when she was candid. It was realistic and the reason he fell in love with her.

Taking a huge breath he decided that it was his turn to be candid.

"Belle, I need to tell you some things."

A quizzical eyebrow was raised and some of the formality was dropped. "What kinds of things?"

"Important things. Things I should have told you right away. Would you please sit down?"

For a moment she didn't comply. Her eyes raked him over, trying to discern the seriousness of their situation. Then with a nod she resumed her seat at the table and gazed up at him expectantly.

He took a ginger step in her direction so that Cogsworth and Lumiere were merely in the background behind him.

"I want to first apologize to you for not having told you about Sophia the moment I arrived here. I should have discussed it with you first but there were extenuating circumstances behind my actions. Still, I would hope that you know how sorry I am that it caused you frustration."

Belle sat still for several moments after this act of contrition. Was this really Christian that was speaking to her? Again the image of him when he had first arrived at Constantine flashed through her mind. How different he had seemed inwardly and outwardly. Clearly something had happened to him and it had somehow brought back the same wonderful husband she had once known.

With a small nod she accepted his apology. "I accept." She murmured then, feeling like something needed to be said, "And…I trust you. I just…wish I understood what happened to you three. Is this arrangement with Sophia going to be permanent?"

Christian gave a sardonic smirk and quirked an eyebrow. "She thinks so…"

Belle cocked her head to the side suspiciously. "What does that mean?"

"It means that when she's ready to stop punishing herself, we will come up with a different solution."

Belle nodded her head, beginning to see the wisdom in this. A long silence reigned after this. She watched as Christian wrestled with himself over whatever else he had come here to say. She began to fidget, wanting to comfort him, or somehow make this easier but had no clue exactly how to do so.

Finally, taking a deep breath, he looked strait into her face. "I need to explain something to you. Something I should have a long time ago."

Belle sat frozen in her seat. She had been quiet. She had allowed him to talk himself into silence. She had not risen or argued as he shifted his weight from toes to heel, nor followed him around the room as he made an attempt to pace. She had merely sat and listened.

All the horrid details of six years prior spilled out of him like an overturned fountain. He spared her nothing, but explained every little shard of emotion and reasoning he had used over the years to rationalize his actions. He did not excuse himself; made his own guilt for her condition clear.

The silence stretched on and on. She wasn't entirely sure what emotion she was feeling. Was it possible for emotions to melt together into one large heartbreak that consumes you? If it was, then she wasn't sure if that was even what she was feeling. It occurred to her that she needed to speak. His eyes were begging her to say something and they made him seem so young. So vulnerable to her.

Not trusting herself, she stood and took a few steps around the opposite side of the table. Numbness was being pervaded by her first natural reaction.

"This is why, isn't it?" She finally said, more evenly then she felt. "This is why you came to my room that day and told me you wanted to be separated."

Christian winced at the memory and then nodded his head. "Yes…." A long pause followed. "I wanted to talk to you about it so many times."

It was a strange sensation to erupt into anger, as Belle had never done so before. She felt like someone had struck a flint and set her on fire. Her eyes narrowed in irritation and she turned her body towards his with startling swiftness.

"What is that supposed to mean? If you had wanted to speak with me about this you would have. I have been here the whole time and no one has breathed a word about this! I don't remember saying any of those things you say that I said! I don't remember any of it!"

Christian seemed to be groping for something to calm her with. It was a sad truth that he had never worked well under pressure.

"Of course you don't remember it. You were delirious with fever!"

Belle's eyes flashed daggers as he trailed dangerously close to her touchiest subject.

"I am NOT crazy!"

Realizing his mistake he took a step backwards. "Of course not. I do not think you are crazy. You were sick Belle. You…. you…were dieing…."

Something about the agony in his voice from his last sentence struck Belle forcefully. She shook her head as if to clear it.

"I don't believe any of this. I would remember. I would remember wanting to die… and I will always recognize my children. No matter how sick I am. It isn't true! It is not true…. is it?"

She abruptly looked to Cogsworth and then to Lumiere. She was furious with Christian, but surely they wouldn't lie to her.

Cogsworth looked at her with obvious pain and Lumiere bit his lip.

"Mistress…." He began feeling helpless, wishing Christian had done this alone. "You were very sick. No one wanted to see you 'urting anymore. No one 'ere zinks you are crazy or zat you do not love your children. We took your Bébés away from you and zere is not a day zat goes by zat we do not blame ourselves."

Belle felt like her lungs were collapsing. How could any of this be real? For a moment she struggled for breath and in that moment she looked at her husband. It was a strange moment and her anger and hurt were greatly clouding her judgment. Why had he chosen to tell her now, after all these years? What was his motivation in making her feel this way? She had not realized in its entirety the kinds of things Christian was capable of, but she bitterly reminded herself that she should have. Still, to see her husband, her husband of seventeen years who had loved her and cherished her, provided for her and her own father, given her three beautiful children, as anything but wonderful felt like a kick in the gut. How could this have happened and he not tell her? How could he have just walked away?

Mouth dry, she voiced the only things that would come to her. "It is true…. isn't it? I couldn't remember giving birth to Paris and Jean-Luc and you told me it was because I was sick and had slept for those months when…in reality…I was dieing and I had no idea the trouble I was causing you…"

Christian's mouth opened in shock at her words. How had she come to that conclusion? This wasn't how it was supposed to be, he was trying to apologize, trying to make things right by her and instead…he was hurting her more. What could he do to help her? How could be retrace his steps to restart this terrible journey?

When he did not speak she could only continue because, for reasons she could not understand, she needed him to know how much pain this caused her. There had to be no doubts in his mind.

"You let me believe it was me…. And I did, Christian. I did believe that I had done something wrong…You told me you no longer desired me and that you no longer wished us to be close and I believed that you no longer loved me!" Her voice was near shouting and she clenched her fists to her bodice as she allowed the words to be spoken for the first time. She had hidden these fears from him because she did not want to see him hurt. Her greatest wish, as well as greatest folly, was that she would love him and wish him well despite anything and everything.

"You let me cry myself to sleep for years and years and you never did anything! You left me here and it was all I could do to get up in the morning and you not be there with me! You told me this was how it had to be and I believed you and I…You told me…. And I trusted you…"

Christian's heart was being crushed. It was more then he was capable of to take two steps towards her and tell her the truth. Tell her the only thing he knew how to tell her.

"Belle…. I lied. I lied because I could not bare to see you hurt."

Without warning, Belle slapped him. He was near enough that she didn't have to reach far and she had never come close to hitting him before so he had not expected it. It was not, nor ever would be, a part of her character. Her hands were not very big, nor her strength all that impressive so it couldn't have physically hurt him all that much. Still, Belle immediately reeled back from her actions and pulled her hand up to her chest and held it there, looking at Christian in horror.

"I'm sorry…Christian, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" She stammered as an angry mark spread across his cheek.

"It's alright." He murmured, but everyone in that room knew that it wasn't. All understood that under no other circumstances would he have tolerated being hit.

Belle finally started to cry. She felt both ashamed of her actions and damaged by his words. Lied to her? That was what hurt the most. She wept noisily into her hands and heard him take a step in her direction. When his fingers graced her shoulder she pulled away immediately.

Looking up into his eyes, she shook her head. "Please…. Just leave. I need to be alone."

A sigh that would bring Heaven down, came from Christian's chest but he nodded his head glumly and turned towards the door, his advisors preparing to follow. Without thinking, he twisted his body around so that he could see her face.

"Belle…. I really do love you. You know that, don't you?"

Pressing her lips together she had a horrible lurching urge to rush at him and press her face to his chest and allow him to hold her as she wept, but she didn't.

"Yes," she answered quietly. "I do know. I love you too."

Christian looked down to the ground and struggled for breath. Then turned his gaze to her, his face once again childlike in it's pleading.

"Do you still need me?"

She stood for a moment remembering how those words had affected him in the West Wing. It felt like a lifetime ago. Belle understood keenly how much he needed to hear her say it. She knew that of everything that happened he would not be able to go on if he thought she did not love him anymore. What he had done was crippling to their marriage, yes, but was it worth hurting him? Not at all.

"Yes, I will always need you."

Letting out a breath that could almost be distinguished as a sigh of relief he turned his back on her and walked out the door, allowing Cogsworth to shut it behind him.