Disclaimer: See Chapter 37.

Note: I certainly hope everyone's ready for this chapter! I know I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope ya'll enjoy! -JJ

Chapter 38

Seth turned, his head aching as his eyes started to open. He already knew it was going to be a bad day. He'd struggled to sleep at all the night before, finally only dozing off long after Dean had finally crawled into bed. They hadn't touched, they hadn't spoke, just laid with their backs to one another until both of them had slipped off into restless sleep.

He groaned as he started to sit up, his hand coming up to cover his face as he let out a yawn. He looked over at Dean, noticing how the other man's brows were knitted together in his sleep, his entire body tense. All the anger he felt the night before eased away. There were plenty of things him and Dean needed to talk about, one of them being Moxley. As much as he hated it, and he knew beyond a doubt that it would probably lead to another argument, but it was something that needed to be done.

He swallowed hard and sucked in a harsh breath. Moxley was someone else he had to talk to and if Dean couldn't help him, he'd somehow make it work on his own. He leaned in, his lips next to Dean's ear. "Moxley," he hissed lowly, his jaw tightening as he once again swallowed down a growing lump in his throat. "I know you're in there and I know you can hear me." He paused, closing his eyes. "I need to talk to you. I don't know how it works, but I know you'll come out again so don't avoid me." He pulled back, watching as Dean's brows pinched together even tighter, his hand coming up to cover his ear.

Seth sighed, running his hand over Dean's as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to his temple. "I'm sorry Dean," he murmured gently. He pulled back and eased out of the bed, thinking he could use a shower to help wake him up before he got ready and started towards the arena.

Dean stood outside the arena, his back against the brick exterior as his eyes searched the parking lot. He couldn't relax, thinking back on how him and Seth had barely exchanged any words that morning as they'd drove to the arena. He ran a hand over his face, knowing that he'd fucked up the night before. He'd said too much, let his anger and jealousy get the best of him. He'd pushed Seth away, probably to a point that he'd lost him forever.

Sighing, he grit his teeth and tipped his head back, taking in the afternoon sun. He'd hoped to pull some warmth from the strong, late autumn rays, but nothing warmed the cold weight in his chest. "Dammit," he muttered, hanging his head as he slid to the ground, completely uncaring of the way the brick scratched at his lower back as his shirt rode up. It all just hurt, his heart, his body, his eyes from trying to hold back tears.

"Hey."

Dean's eyes shot up, narrowing on the man standing next to him. He knew the Samoan could see the tears sparkling in his eyes before he looked back down towards the pavement. He pulled a knee up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it. "Hey," he muttered back, listening to the sound of clothes rustling as the bigger male sat next to him. "I don't know where Seth is."

Roman nodded, smiling softly. "He's inside, looking about a glum as you do," he answered, leaning back against the building, thankful that there wasn't anyone else in the concourse. "I doubt you wanna talk about it, but are you okay?"

Dean stiffened, his eyes narrowing on the ground. "No, not really," he answered after a short pause of silence. He felt a humorless chuckle bubble inside him, only passing his lips sounding twisted and defeated. "I told you I'd just fuck him up too."

Roman's eyes widened, his head snapping to the side to see that Dean had hunched forward over his knee, his forehead resting on it as he sucked in a shaky breath. "Dean?"

"Fucked him up like I do everything else," Dean went on, gritting his teeth as the burning in his eyes became unbearable, but he refused to cry. "Fuck, what am I even doing?! I'm just hurting him more and more!"

"Dean," Roman hissed lowly, Dean's body tightening. His voice softened. "I don't know what's going on with you two right now, but I do know that you two need each other. Whatever it is, if you two just talk about it, you can work through it."

Dean snorted, shaking his head. "Naw," he started, looking up to meet confused grey eyes. "I don't think that's gonna work this time Rome." He bit his lower lip, sitting up so his back was straight and his eyes lifted to the sky. "I really fucked up… I wouldn't blame him if he just walked away."

Roman was quiet, a soft sigh escaping his lips. This was the first time since their fight that Dean had even attempted to open up to him and he certainly didn't want to fuck it up. "I really doubt he's gonna do that," he started, looking over to see a dark glare on the other man's face. "He loves you way too fuckin' much to just up and leave. He's pretty stubborn, just let him cool off a little bit and try again."

Dean shook his head. "Not after what I said," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, fisting it in the back of his head. "He was asking about Moxley again and I just snapped Rome! I said some really fucked up shit!" He paused, his hand tightening, prickles of pain shooting through his scalp. "I'm tired of feeling like he's trying to take over my life!"

Roman's body froze, his brow furrowing. This was the first time he'd heard Dean actually talk about Moxley more than in passing. "Dean?"

"Dammit! I just wanna get rid of him! I don't want him fuckin' things up anymore than he has!" He sucked in a weak breath. "I don't wanna pretend like it's okay to share Seth like I did with Sami… I never meant to say what I did, I just… I just… it came flying out before I thought about it." He paused, his throat tightening around the lump that had settled in the base. "Because Sami used to ask me the same thing." His hands dropped to his side, his jaw tight. "I just wanna be normal for once."

Roman was silent, his brows knitted together in confusion and worry. "Dean…" he started, turning and wrapping his arms around Dean's shoulders in an awkward, make shift hug. The other man was tense against him, but quickly he felt Dean relax and just melt into him. "I really have no idea what to say to you right now." He wasn't lying, he was at a complete loss for words. "But I'm here for you and maybe this is something you need to tell Seth about because it seems like this is something you've been just holding in. I've told him before to have an open, honest conversation with you, so I'm telling you the same thing now."

"It's really not that easy," Dean muttered, closing his eyes and letting the first tear roll down his cheek.

"Why?"

"Because it hurts so damn much and I'm terrified of what Seth's gonna say," Dean answered honestly, turning so that his face was buried in Roman's shoulder. He didn't care what he looked like being cradled in the bigger man's arms, just knowing he wasn't alone meant so much to him in that moment. "I'm so fuckin' scared he's just gonna walk away Rome and I just can't fuckin' handle it."

Roman held Dean a little closer, sighing softly as he stroked the back of Dean's head, smoothing down the unruly curls. He felt Dean shaking, his shoulder dampened by a few tears before Dean pulled back and wiped his face with both hands, erasing any evidence of tears.

"Man, I'm sorry for just laying this on ya," he muttered, groaning as he pulled completely free from Roman. "Damn, I look like a fuckin' pansy ass right now." A forced chuckle left his lips, but abruptly stopped the moment he felt a comforting hand ruffling his hair. He looked up to see a soft, comforting smile on Roman's lips.

"Naw, you look just like you," Roman said, pulling his hand back and letting it rest in his lap. "C'mon, shows gonna start soon, we should finish getting ready for it." With that he hauled himself to his feet and stretched towards the sky, groaning happily.

Dean followed, a calm he hadn't felt in too long settling in his chest, chasing away the frigidness. He was quiet as he started to follow Roman back inside. He'd give Seth time to cool off and once they were back in their room, he'd try and talk to Seth again, this time keeping his temper and fears in check. "Hey Roman?" he asked, just before the Samoan was about to turn the corner towards the locker room.

"Yeah?" Roman turned back to meet Dean's smirk.

"Thanks man."

Roman's smile only grew. "Anytime," he answered, pausing for just a moment, "brother."

Seth pushed open the hotel room's door, and paused. He was surprised to see that the lights were already on when he knew they'd been off when he'd left with Cody to get in a quick work out. "Dean?" he questioned, wondering if he'd made it in while he was out. They hadn't left the arena together, the other man deciding to walk back in the cool night air.

"Yeah, I'm here."

Seth turned, the corner, finding Dean sitting in the arm chair next to the window, his bare feet propped up on the A/C with his eyes focused on the bright, outside world. "I didn't know if you were coming back tonight," he eased out, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Dean nodded, his frown only deepening. His eyes tore away from the city outside and moved over to where Seth was sitting, those dark eyes focused on his hands in his lap. He'd been thinking about what Roman had said to him earlier in the day and he knew the other man had been right. "Can we talk?" he asked, dropping his feet from the air conditioner and sitting up straight. "I mean really talk?"

Seth looked up, meeting pleading blues. He knew they needed too, but the tension that had settled in his chest made him want to avoid it. Finally, after a moment of internal debating, he nodded. Sucking in a breath, he eased to fully sit on the bed, facing Dean with his legs crossed in front of him.

"I'm sorry, first off," Dean started, biting his lower lip lightly. He was nervous, his heart painfully banging around inside his ribcage. "What I said, there's no fuckin' excuse for it." His and Seth's eyes locked. "I love you Seth. I love you more than anything in this entire fuckin' world and I just… I don't want Moxley to come between us. I don't want him to ruin what we have."

Seth sighed, his expression softening. "Dean…"

"Wait," Dean interrupted, swallowing hard as his voice began to tremble. "I know how Moxley felt about Sami and I know that Sami felt the same even if he never said it." He paused, closing his eyes and sucking in a breath. "I used to tell myself that it was okay to share Sami with him, that I could handle it since Moxley was a part of me, but Sami… he'd ask to see Moxley. He'd ask me if I could somehow flip and it just fuckin' hurt and that's all I could think of last night. It's no excuse for what I said, but… but I wanted you to know."

Seth nodded, scooting towards the edge of the bed. His feet touched the floor and he leaned over, resting a hand on Dean's knee. He smiled softly. "I forgive you," he started, meeting surprised but thankful eyes. "When it comes to Moxley, it isn't because of anything like that. I don't particularly like him." He saw a flicker on a smile on Dean's lips. "But I don't hate him either. I know I should after everything he's done, but I can't."

Dean looked down to where Seth's hand was clutching his knee. He could feel the other man trembling. "Seth…."

"I know he's a part of you and he does the things he does because he's trying to protect you," Seth continued, his eyes dropping to his hand. A warmth settled in his chest, Dean's hand covering his. "And I just wanna understand him better." He sighed, shaking his head. "And I know you hate it, but I've never seen someone love as hard as he loves Solomon. It's the only time he's ever seemed selfish."

Dean swallowed hard, his hand tightening around Seth's. "But he's hurt you so much," he murmured, pulling Seth's hand from his knee so their fingers could curl together. "How can you still want to know about him?"

"He's apologized," Seth breathed, his other hand reaching over and cupping Dean's cheek. "And he's talked with me. He's comforted me when I needed it." He paused, remembering just how gentle and thoughtful Moxley had been in the past. "He brought you back to me." Those words made Dean's eyes widen. "He's not a bad person Dean and I think you would see that if somehow you two could communicate.

Dean looked away, gritting his teeth. Even with Moxley doing all those things, it didn't ease the pain of what he'd done. "I'm not trying to be obstinate but I still don't want anything to do with him. You might be able to, but I just can't forgive him for what he's done to you, to us."

"You should at least try babe," Seth returned, leaning even closer so his forehead could rest against Dean's. "Because I already have."

Dean's eyes snapped up to meet Seth's, he could see tears sparkling there, hurt and hope swirling around in the deep chocolate pools. "Seth… I," he paused, closing his eyes as he grit his teeth. "I can't promise you anything, but I'll try and at least make the effort."

"Thank you."

Silence fell between the two, both just listening to the other's breathing. It was Dean that finally pulled away and broke the silence. "Then, why… why do you want to talk to him so much?" he asked, looking down towards the carpet. "Why is it so important?"

Seth's fragile smile fell, his chest tightening as he remembered the last night he'd talked with Moxley and all the nights following. "Because the last time we spoke, Moxley wasn't himself. I know that sounds weird, but I know there was something bothering him and I want to know what it is." He paused, watching as Dean's brow furrowed in confusion. "And at night, I swear I can feel him. It's never for more than a minute or so and it's nothing weird, but I know he's there and I want to know why."

Dean was silent, unsure of what to say or even think. He didn't know what Moxley was doing or planning, but he knew he wanted him to stay away. No matter what Seth told him or how comfortable Seth was with Moxley, he just couldn't bring himself to trust him. Finally, he sighed, taking both of Seth's hands in his and squeezing them. "Please, if you do see him again, just be safe, okay?"

Seth nodded, the corner of his lips curling up slightly. "I will."

"So, I think my man's gonna whip your man's ass," Seth teased, crossing his arms as he watched the screen. He smirked, watching Dean's normal entrance.

"Well, if he was mine then maybe I could wager," Roman returned almost whimsically. He smiled gently, catching Seth's curious gaze before he shoved his hands into his pockets, his own eyes focused on the screen as Dean made it into the ring and Cody's music started.

Seth was quiet for a moment, hating the downcast look on his best friends face. He gave a helpless smile. "I heard you kissed him," he said, turning his gaze back to the screen, but still catching Roman's doe eyed gaze. And he certainly didn't miss the pink that touched bronze cheeks. "You've already got him Ro, he just needs to let himself go."

Roman nodded, shrugging slightly. "I hope so," he answered softly, thinking back on their kiss. It had been sweet and tender and completely perfect. His smile faded slightly, his thoughts quickly turning to how Dean had been the day before. "So… uh… are you and Dean okay again? Because he was really fucked up yesterday."

Seth's once playful smile faded as well, his eyes lowering to the floor as his arms tightened across his chest. "We're better. We talked it out but…."

"But?" Roman interjected, his gaze flickering back to the screen to see Cody taking the momentum from Dean before moving back to Seth.

Seth shook his head, biting his lower lip as he tried to convert his thoughts into actual words. "I don't know Ro. It's so fucked up and hard to explain, but I really feel bad for Moxley," he explained, looking around to make sure him and Roman were alone. "Like even if Dean did create him, he's still a person and he's stuck watching life through Dean's eyes. And the fact that he thinks I'm taking over Solomon's spot, it's just… I can't explain it."

Roman grit his teeth, remembering just how badly Dean had fallen apart in his arms. "You don't have feelings for Moxley, do you?"

Seth's eyes were sharp, his jaw tightening as he scowled at Roman. "No," he said flatly, a stormy look overcoming his features. "It's not like that at all. All I want is to understand him."

Roman instantly held his hands up in retreat. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just, you didn't see how messed up Dean was talking about it." He voice dropped, as his arms crossed over his chest. "Dean's never opened up like that to me before. Ever. And it freaked me out." He sucked in a breath, thinking that he could easily piss Seth off with what he wanted to say, but he felt like it was a small price to pay. Seth needed to hear it. "Moxley isn't a real person Seth, no matter what happens or what he says or thinks, he's still just someone Dean made up and if he wants to, it's someone Dean can get rid of."

Seth stiffened, his eyes meeting Roman's unwavering ones. "It doesn't work that way Roman."

"Maybe it doesn't, but this is Dean's life. It's his body and he's the one in control. No one can ever argue that," Roman returned, pushing out a heated breath. "On the outside lookin' in, I really don't think you should worry about Moxley. He can't be trusted."

"You don't know that!" Seth fought back, his voice starting to rise. "He's not a bad person, no matter what you think, he's not." He paused, forcing himself to take a breath and calm down. "I know it's Dean's body, and I know he doesn't want Moxley around, but I can't just see it like that. It's not black and white here Ro!" His hands rushed up to his face, scrubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I know Moxley is apart of Dean, but I see him as a separate person. If someone else had a decent conversation with him, you'd understand."

Roman shook his head. He knew he was trying to fight a losing battle. He decided on a different approach. "Why are you so dead set on defending him?" he asked a little softer, hoping Seth understood he wasn't trying to argue.

"Because there's something wrong!" Seth hissed, dropping his hands and resting them on his hips. He forced out a breath, knowing he was getting too wound up. Slowly, he started again. "There's seriously something going on and I don't know what it is. I know he's avoiding me, because I can feel him. I can feel his presence."

Roman only sighed, dropping his own hands just so they could retreat back into his front pockets. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but do you really think something good is gonna come outta talking to Moxley?" he asked, finding that Seth's eyes were focused on the television screen again, refusing to meet his. "Maybe he just wants to be left alone."

Seth's gaze finally turned to Roman, their eyes locking. "I won't know until I talk to him, Ro," he said, a tone of finality settled in his voice. He looked back to the screen, sighing softly. "I know you're worried, but it's something I gotta do for me and Dean both."

Roman loudly sighed in response. "As long as you know what you're doing. If you or Dean need me, I'm here," he answered, wrapping his arm around Seth's shoulders and pulling him into a half hug. "Just stay safe little brother."

"Always," Seth answered, resting his head on Roman's shoulder, his own arm wrapping around the Samoan's waist. He knew Roman was worried, but he was thankful that he was going to stay for support. It helped him relax and lean heavily into his best friend. His eyes lifted back to the screen, catching that end of the match and watching as Dean pinned Cody for the three count. "Told you he'd win."

The duo shared a look and a smile before they started towards the curtain. Cody was the first to walk through, his paint smeared but a smile on his face. "We got a good pop tonight," he said a little breathlessly as his eyes met Roman's. "Not bad when I'm still stuck in this gimmick."

Roman nodded, walking over and wrapping his arms around Cody, pulling him in for a tight hug. "You looked great out there," he murmured, pulling back with an even wider smile. "Gave Dean a real run for his money."

"Stop suckin' up over there Rome," Dean hissed playfully, earning all three of the other men's attention. He walked over to Seth, instantly leaning in and pressing a kiss to the other man's cheek. "You think you can out do that tonight with your match against Owens?"

"Oh, you know I can," Seth returned, crossing his arms over his chest in a mock gruff stance. "Bet?"

"Oh yeah," Dean retorted, pausing as soon as he noticed a crewman walking towards them. "What's up?" One blond brow rose in confusion once he was handed a folded piece of paper.

"A note for you, that's all," the crew member said, shrugging. "One of the other guys asked me to pass it to you since they couldn't get away from the production truck. "That's all I know." He shrugged, waving to the other three before walking away.

Dean's brow furrowed as he unfolded the paper and looked over the messy scrawl. Instantly his entire body started to tremble and he felt completely numb. His heart felt like it stopped in his chest while his stomach fell to the floor as he read over the words.

You should've killed me, boy

(A/N): So, a lot's gone on in this chapter. So much that I don't even know what to say down here. But I'm sure all of you have plenty of thoughts and concerns! So please let me know what you're thinking and feeling! I want to hear all of it! Onwards and upwards!

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust