Title: This Tear
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Okay, time for a new chapter! I'm back at school now and handling classes and everything. I still have Tuesdays and Thursdays off so that's really nice. I have a lot of introductory essays to do, but hopefully the workload will lighten up by next week. And for now, I would like to take this opportunity to say that the Golden Globes suck very very much. And with that, onto the chapter. Enjoy!
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"Okay. I'm going to hook her up to a heart-monitor starting tonight so that we'll know if anything is wrong. If her heart is beating too fast or too slow, an alarm will sound. She has the morphine pump, so you won't need to give her any injections. Everything should be fine, but I'll leave my cell phone on in case you need to reach me," Aly instructed.
"So everything's set then?" Andrew asked. Everyone looked at each other and one by one, they nodded.
"Great. Then we're ready for our second day."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 38: You Promised
"What is the medical term for Agent Bristow's current condition?" Andrew questioned.
"She has a malignant brain tumor that has metastasized to her blood stream. Simply put, end stage cancer," Aly replied.
Vaughn cringed from his position behind Andrew's table. Jack sat beside him, the look on his face reflecting the same sorrow. Vaughn took a second to glance over across the room to where Agent Clark sat. His face was completely emotionless and Vaughn wished he could walk over and shake some sense into him, to make him realize that he was fighting to destroy more lives than just Sydney's. Shaking the thoughts from his head, Vaughn focused back on Aly on the stand.
"Can you describe to the committee the course of Agent Bristow's illness, what she's been through so far?" Andrew requested.
"Agent Bristow was diagnosed earlier this year with a brain tumor. Tests soon proved the tumor to be malignant. She was hospitalized in an SD-6 hospital and given several rounds of chemotherapy. She was able to check out of the hospital a few days later and return for outpatient treatments several times a week. She collapsed after a treatment not long after her release and was re-admitted. The doctors at Angel of Mercy told her that her tumor was growing and they were flying in a surgeon to perform a high- risk emergency surgery. Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow discovered right as she was going into surgery that SD-6 was plotting on staging the surgery and leaving Agent Bristow for dead. She, Agent Vaughn, and Agent Weiss were then sent into hiding, where they've been for the last six months. Not long after they got there, a tumor was discovered in Agent Bristow's lung and had to be surgically removed. After that she was put back on chemotherapy and radiation treatments. When those didn't prove to be working as well as her doctor had hoped, he put her on an experimental type of chemotherapy, where she was very susceptible to germs. She eventually caught pneumonia and had to be taken to the hospital and put on oxygen. As soon as she recovered from that, she was put into isolation and given another experimental treatment. She remained there for three weeks before she was able to return to the safe-house. After she was thoroughly tested, her doctor found that, even after all of her treatments, her tumor had grown and spread. After that, there was nothing they could do. Agent Bristow was able to return to assist in the takedown of SD-6 and the Alliance. Since then, it's just been a slow and steady decline," Aly finished finally. Vaughn felt tears rise in his eyes at her description of Sydney's battle. To hear it told so factually, though, didn't even begin to convey the pain she'd been through. The pain they'd all been through.
"And you're currently living next door to Agent Bristow, correct?" Andrew clarified.
"Yes."
"How often do you see her usually?"
"Usually several times a day. Her condition requires constant medical attention," Aly replied.
"Could you please describe some of the symptoms Agent Bristow currently experiences due to her illness, Dr. Bentz?" Andrew asked.
"She has an extremely low energy level and isn't able to remain awake for long periods of time. She's lost the use of one of her legs and can no longer walk on her own. She's experienced memory loss, extreme pain, dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing, and a number of other symptoms. And it's likely she'll keep developing more," Aly answered somberly.
"Dr. Bentz, how much do you know about Rambaldi?"
"Well, I've been briefed somewhat in the subject. Naturally, when I was assigned to Agent Bristow, I read her file. I have a basic knowledge of Rambaldi's artifacts and why they're so important."
"Do you believe that this artifact could cure Agent Bristow's illness?"
"I couldn't say yes with complete certainty as this is a new technology to everyone, but I believe that it could. I also know that it's her only chance. Without this, she will certainly die."
Vaughn closed his eyes, fighting the waves of pain he felt every time he heard those words. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and found that Aly was looking at him. The look on her face was apologetic. Vaughn gave a slight nod, just enough for her to see, letting her know that it was okay. That she was doing the right thing. He'd been prepared for this to hurt. If it saved Sydney, the pain didn't matter.
"Dr. Bentz," Andrew started again. "I'm aware that this has nothing to do with your expertise, but you've been Sydney's doctor long enough to observe who she is and how she deals with her condition. Do you believe that she should be given this solution?"
"Yes," Aly replied without hesitation. "No one on this earth could or ever will deserve this chance at life more than Sydney Bristow. She wants to live. She's fought against this disease with incredible strength and courage. I also believe that she's an invaluable asset to the CIA and that her death would be a great loss."
"Thank you, Dr. Bentz. I have no further questions," Andrew stated, returning to his seat.
With that, Agent Clark got up. Vaughn and Jack both scowled. This was the part Vaughn always wished he could escape. All he ever wanted to do when listening to this man, this man who was fighting for Sydney's death, was walk up to the front of the courtroom and beat him senseless. If anything was painful, it was these parts.
"Dr. Bentz," Agent Clark began. Only two days into the trial, his voice already sent shivers up Vaughn's spine. "Can you please tell me exactly when you were assigned to Agent Bristow?"
"A few weeks ago," Aly answered.
"So you weren't present to observe Agent Bristow's treatments or surgeries or setbacks, correct?"
"I was briefed about that time by her previous-"
"A simple yes or no will do, Dr. Bentz," he interrupted.
Aly sighed. "No, I wasn't."
"Dr. Bentz, can you explain to me why Agent Bristow isn't present for this hearing?" He asked.
Aly clenched her jaw tightly, knowing exactly where this was leading. "Agent Bristow's condition prevents her from being here," she answered simply.
"Would coming jeopardize her health?"
"It could," Aly replied.
"So her health is very fragile right now?"
"Yes."
"How much time would you say she has?"
"Right now, it's a matter of weeks. I couldn't tell you exactly how many."
"More than a month?" Agent Clark asked.
"No, probably not," she replied.
"So isn't it true that by the time this committee makes this decision, should they decide to give her the solution, that her health will be too fragile to endure any side-effects it may cause? Isn't it possible she may not even survive the tests and transportation she'll have to go through?"
"In my medical opinion, she's-"
"Is it possible, Dr. Bentz?" Agent Clark questioned again, cutting her off.
Aly looked over to Vaughn, knowing her next words were going to cut deep. "It's possible."
"No further questions."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Weiss entered the quiet room, shutting the door behind him as slowly and softly as possible. He'd already checked on Sydney several times in the last few hours, but he'd finally decided it would be better just to grab a book and go in and sit with her. That way, he wouldn't have to worry so much. He realized he was finally getting a glimpse of what Vaughn felt like all the time. Now he understood. It was a whole different situation when you were the one responsible for her. He couldn't let anything happen to her now, not when they could be so close to acquiring the one thing that could save her life.
He crept over to the small table by the window and dropped into the plush chair beside it. He opened his book to where the corner of one of the pages was folded over. He settled back in the chair and began to read. After a few pages, he'd gotten back into the story again and had become somewhat oblivious to his surroundings.
"Good book?" He heard suddenly, startling him. He whipped his head around, noticing that Sydney had woken up.
"Hey, you're up," he said, smiling. She smiled back as he set down the book and relocated to the chair beside her bed.
"Everyone at the hearing?" She asked.
"Yeah, they probably won't be back for a few hours yet," Weiss replied. Sydney nodded. "How are you feeling?"
She sighed. "I'm okay. Just pretty low on energy."
"Any pain?" He asked.
"Not really," she replied.
"Good." They lapsed into an easy silence.
"So when do you testify?" Sydney asked after a few moments.
"Day after tomorrow if everything goes as planned," Weiss answered.
"How do you think it's going? Really."
"From what I saw yesterday, I think Andrew's the right person for the job. I can't tell you if he's going to win this for you or not, but I think you've got a fighting chance with him," Weiss told her honestly.
"I don't think Vaughn is so sure. He looked worried when he came back yesterday."
"Well, you know Mike. He's going to be worried even if the other lawyer was a total incompetent," Weiss joked.
"You're right," Sydney agreed, smiling. The smile quickly faded, though, and was replaced by a serious look. "Does he sleep?"
Weiss sighed. "You shouldn't worry, Syd."
"Why not? He worries enough about me, shouldn't I get a turn?" She asked sarcastically.
"We're all here to make sure he's okay," Weiss assured her.
"But you're all too concerned with whether *I'm* okay or not. Someone needs to watch over him too. You know him..... I'm the only one who needs to be sick right now."
"He'll be okay, Syd. I'll make sure of it... I mean, until you're able again." He smiled at her. She smiled back and nodded, appreciating his optimism.
"Thank you." She shifted slightly, gasping audibly when the movement caused shooting pains in her back. "Can you, um, can you-"
"Yeah, of course," Weiss said quickly, reaching over to the morphine pump and upping her dose slightly. Within seconds, her face registered relief, though her eyes remained closed.
"Thanks," she said softly.
"Get some rest. Everyone else should be back in a few hours."
She nodded as she allowed sleep to reclaim her.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Vaughn sat by her bed, realizing that most men woke up in the morning and watched their girlfriends sleep, taking the time to acknowledge how incredibly lucky they were to have someone like that in their life. Though Vaughn acknowledged that luck as well, he mostly spent his time worrying that this would be the time she didn't wake up. Though sleep was sometimes her only escape from the pain now, it was also the thing that would soon carry her into a coma and then away from this life altogether. Unless the solution could save her...could save both of them.
Vaughn was interrupted from his thoughts when he saw Sydney stir in her sleep. He waited patiently for a few seconds and, like he knew they would, her eyes soon fluttered opened. She looked around the room, obviously slightly disoriented. He leaned over her and smiled.
"Hey," he said softly.
But this time her eyes didn't soften the way they normally did. This time her eyes continued to wander the room, growing wide and moving frantically. Before Vaughn could ask what was wrong, she suddenly shot up into a sitting position, wincing at the pain the movement caused. Her breathing sounded fast and the heart monitor began to beep loudly with her increasing heart rate. Her eyes continued to search the room as if completely lost.
"Syd," he said gently, tentatively reaching out to take her hand. As soon as she felt his hand on hers, though, she jerked it away and stared at him in horror.
"Where am I?!" Vaughn felt his chest tighten. The tumor had stolen yet another memory from her, but this time it was much more extreme.
"Syd, it's okay, you're safe," he attempted, trying to sooth her.
"Where the hell am I?!" She asked loudly. Vaughn heard the monitor behind him start to beep dangerously fast. He realized he needed to get her to calm down before she harmed herself. When she turned to look around the room again, he took the opportunity to lean toward her. When she sensed the movement, though, she whipped around and in a flash, her hands were wrapped around his throat. She squeezed just tightly enough for him to get the point. "What the hell is going on?" She asked, her voice still shaking with fear.
"Syd, it's me. It's Vaughn. You're in Malibu. You're okay," he said as calmly as possible, realizing with horror that not only didn't she recognize where she was... she didn't recognize him.
Her face changed suddenly. Her hands dropped from his throat and tears filled her eyes. "Vaughn," she whispered.
"Yeah, it's me," he said softly, cautiously laying a hand on her arm.
"Oh God," she said softly, realization spreading across her face. Suddenly, the floodgates opened and tears began to pour out of her eyes. Vaughn quickly moved to sit on the bed and took her into his arms just as her body began to shake with sobs. She clung to him tightly, holding on as if she'd never let go. Vaughn heard the monitor behind him continue to beep harshly and he realized she wasn't calming down. If anything, she was even worse than before. He could hear her gasping for breath between sobs.
"Syd, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here. Everything's going to be fine," he said into her ear over and over. His voice only seemed to make her cry harder, though. "Sydney, you need to calm down, okay? Just try to take some deep breaths." But she didn't calm, continuing to shake both of them with the force of her cries. Vaughn wasn't even sure if she could hear him, but he knew he needed to do something, and fast.
"Aly!" Vaughn called as loudly as he could, trying to lean away from Sydney so that he didn't scream into her ear. He continued to rub her back soothingly and waited what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only seconds for Aly to come. Finally, the door flew open and Aly entered, a concerned-looking Weiss right behind her. Aly took in the sight before her quickly and moved closer to the bed.
"Is it pain?" She asked. Still holding Sydney securely in his arms, Vaughn shook his head.
"I think she's having a panic attack," Vaughn replied. Aly nodded and quickly ran out of the room. Weiss hovered near the doorway, his face a mask of worry. Vaughn met his eyes in a look heavy with a painful truth. Both men knew things were going downhill quickly. They were running out of time.
Aly returned only seconds later, carrying her medical bag. She set it down on the edge of the bed and fished out a bottle of liquid and a needle. She drew half a syringe of medicine and flicked it to get out any air bubbles. She then moved around so that she could inject the medicine into Sydney's arm. Vaughn helped to hold her arm down so that she didn't move too much, but she didn't even react when the needle penetrated her skin. Vaughn wondered if she felt it at all. Aly quickly removed the needle and Vaughn looked up at her for assurance.
"It's a sedative. Should work quickly," she assured him. Vaughn nodded and focused his attention back on Sydney, who still sobbed in his arms.
"Shhh. It's okay, Syd. Just focus on my voice. Try to breathe with me," he urged her, beginning to rock her slightly to help calm her.
It took a few seconds, but finally the chaotic beeping of the monitor began to slow and her sobs turned to whimpers. Once Vaughn was sure that she was breathing okay, he nodded at Aly. She nodded back and turned to leave, taking Weiss with her when she exited the room. He continued to rock Sydney, closing his eyes and whispering whatever comforting words entered his mind. After a few moments, he stilled.
"Can you take a deep breath for me, Syd?" He asked softly. He heard her breath in, her voice shaking considerably, and let it out in a sigh. He suddenly repeated her actions, releasing a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Good," he whispered. He turned his head, pressing his lips to her cheek before gently laying her down. Her face was flushed from her crying, her eyes still wet. Her eyelids were swollen and beginning to droop from the sedative now in her system. Her breath still shook slightly, but she was breathing almost normally now. "You okay now?" he asked gently.
She nodded slowly. "Tissue," she whispered tiredly. Vaughn reached over to the nightstand and pulled a tissue from the box sitting there. He gently removed her oxygen tube before holding the tissue up to her nose.
"Blow," he instructed. Obviously too tired to argue, she complied. When she was done, he tossed the tissue into the trash next to the nightstand. He looked back to Sydney, who was fighting to stay awake now, and brought his hand to her cheek. His thumb caressed her flawless skin, one of the few things the cancer had not touched. Suddenly, he noticed she was struggling to say something, but he couldn't quite make it out. He leaned down close, his ear right beside her lips.
"You promised," she whispered. He backed away to look at her, trying to figure out what she'd meant. Maybe she still wasn't completely with him, because her statement made no sense to him. But the pleading look in her eyes made him think it was more than that. She must've seen his confusion, because she motioned for him to lean back down. "The beach."
Suddenly, he remembered. He knew what she meant. He remembered that day, like many others along this journey, with complete clarity.
[I]"Promise me something?" She requested softly.
"Of course," he replied.
"Promise me that when I'm too sick to communicate, to remember, that you'll remind me, that you'll tell me about us, about Weiss, even about SD-6. Promise me that you won't let me forget completely."
He nodded slowly. "I promise."[/I]
Vaughn nodded at her, telling her he understood. Though he was sure that her complete loss of memory had been a momentary thing, he knew she needed the assurance. That she wanted to be told over and over, to take every measure to make sure that if she died, it would be with her most precious memories still in tact. And Vaughn was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that was possible.
"We met on October first. I saw them lead you into the briefing room. I couldn't help staring, along with the rest of the office. I'd never seen that color hair before, except maybe on the clowns I'd seen at the circus when I was a kid." She smiled at that, finally allowing her eyes to slip shut. "With that crazy hair and your swollen mouth, I wasn't quite sure what to make of you. And then they called me over, told me to get you something to eat while Weiss supervised you. That's when I saw you up close for the first time. That's when I realized how beautiful you were, despite your appearance at the time. Even that hair couldn't cover your beauty. Nothing could." He stopped then, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He knew she'd already fallen asleep. He couldn't help but realize how true his observation from his story had been. Nothing *could* cover her beauty, not even cancer and all its horrible effects. It could take her energy, her color, her weight, and her memories, but it couldn't take her beauty. It couldn't take the essence of what made her Sydney Bristow. Maybe even death couldn't take that from her.
Vaughn leaned down and kissed her forehead gently before rising from his seat on the edge of the bed, knowing that the sedative would keep her out for at least a few hours. He walked over to the door and looked back briefly at Sydney, relieved to see her sleeping peacefully again, before exiting the room quietly. Once in the living room, he saw Aly and Weiss sitting at the table, talking. They both looked up at him suddenly.
And he knew something was wrong.
"What's going on?" Vaughn asked. They both looked at each other, as if silently debating who were going to break the news to him. "Someone tell me," he begged.
Finally, Aly nodded at Weiss and both turned to look at him. Vaughn focused on his friend, knowing he'd obviously been the one chosen to tell him whatever it was that had them looking so serious.
"Sloane's gone."
To be continued.
A/N: Wow, I feel like I really haven't done a cliffhanger in a while. Sorry to spring one on you guys again, but I don't think it's one of the worst ones really. Anyway, it's 1:20 right now and I have to shower and go to bed so that I can actually make myself get out of bed tomorrow for classes (blah), so this note will have to be short. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please let me know what you thought! Thanks! Hopefully more soon!
Author: SydGillyKC
Author's Note: Okay, time for a new chapter! I'm back at school now and handling classes and everything. I still have Tuesdays and Thursdays off so that's really nice. I have a lot of introductory essays to do, but hopefully the workload will lighten up by next week. And for now, I would like to take this opportunity to say that the Golden Globes suck very very much. And with that, onto the chapter. Enjoy!
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"Okay. I'm going to hook her up to a heart-monitor starting tonight so that we'll know if anything is wrong. If her heart is beating too fast or too slow, an alarm will sound. She has the morphine pump, so you won't need to give her any injections. Everything should be fine, but I'll leave my cell phone on in case you need to reach me," Aly instructed.
"So everything's set then?" Andrew asked. Everyone looked at each other and one by one, they nodded.
"Great. Then we're ready for our second day."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 38: You Promised
"What is the medical term for Agent Bristow's current condition?" Andrew questioned.
"She has a malignant brain tumor that has metastasized to her blood stream. Simply put, end stage cancer," Aly replied.
Vaughn cringed from his position behind Andrew's table. Jack sat beside him, the look on his face reflecting the same sorrow. Vaughn took a second to glance over across the room to where Agent Clark sat. His face was completely emotionless and Vaughn wished he could walk over and shake some sense into him, to make him realize that he was fighting to destroy more lives than just Sydney's. Shaking the thoughts from his head, Vaughn focused back on Aly on the stand.
"Can you describe to the committee the course of Agent Bristow's illness, what she's been through so far?" Andrew requested.
"Agent Bristow was diagnosed earlier this year with a brain tumor. Tests soon proved the tumor to be malignant. She was hospitalized in an SD-6 hospital and given several rounds of chemotherapy. She was able to check out of the hospital a few days later and return for outpatient treatments several times a week. She collapsed after a treatment not long after her release and was re-admitted. The doctors at Angel of Mercy told her that her tumor was growing and they were flying in a surgeon to perform a high- risk emergency surgery. Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow discovered right as she was going into surgery that SD-6 was plotting on staging the surgery and leaving Agent Bristow for dead. She, Agent Vaughn, and Agent Weiss were then sent into hiding, where they've been for the last six months. Not long after they got there, a tumor was discovered in Agent Bristow's lung and had to be surgically removed. After that she was put back on chemotherapy and radiation treatments. When those didn't prove to be working as well as her doctor had hoped, he put her on an experimental type of chemotherapy, where she was very susceptible to germs. She eventually caught pneumonia and had to be taken to the hospital and put on oxygen. As soon as she recovered from that, she was put into isolation and given another experimental treatment. She remained there for three weeks before she was able to return to the safe-house. After she was thoroughly tested, her doctor found that, even after all of her treatments, her tumor had grown and spread. After that, there was nothing they could do. Agent Bristow was able to return to assist in the takedown of SD-6 and the Alliance. Since then, it's just been a slow and steady decline," Aly finished finally. Vaughn felt tears rise in his eyes at her description of Sydney's battle. To hear it told so factually, though, didn't even begin to convey the pain she'd been through. The pain they'd all been through.
"And you're currently living next door to Agent Bristow, correct?" Andrew clarified.
"Yes."
"How often do you see her usually?"
"Usually several times a day. Her condition requires constant medical attention," Aly replied.
"Could you please describe some of the symptoms Agent Bristow currently experiences due to her illness, Dr. Bentz?" Andrew asked.
"She has an extremely low energy level and isn't able to remain awake for long periods of time. She's lost the use of one of her legs and can no longer walk on her own. She's experienced memory loss, extreme pain, dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing, and a number of other symptoms. And it's likely she'll keep developing more," Aly answered somberly.
"Dr. Bentz, how much do you know about Rambaldi?"
"Well, I've been briefed somewhat in the subject. Naturally, when I was assigned to Agent Bristow, I read her file. I have a basic knowledge of Rambaldi's artifacts and why they're so important."
"Do you believe that this artifact could cure Agent Bristow's illness?"
"I couldn't say yes with complete certainty as this is a new technology to everyone, but I believe that it could. I also know that it's her only chance. Without this, she will certainly die."
Vaughn closed his eyes, fighting the waves of pain he felt every time he heard those words. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and found that Aly was looking at him. The look on her face was apologetic. Vaughn gave a slight nod, just enough for her to see, letting her know that it was okay. That she was doing the right thing. He'd been prepared for this to hurt. If it saved Sydney, the pain didn't matter.
"Dr. Bentz," Andrew started again. "I'm aware that this has nothing to do with your expertise, but you've been Sydney's doctor long enough to observe who she is and how she deals with her condition. Do you believe that she should be given this solution?"
"Yes," Aly replied without hesitation. "No one on this earth could or ever will deserve this chance at life more than Sydney Bristow. She wants to live. She's fought against this disease with incredible strength and courage. I also believe that she's an invaluable asset to the CIA and that her death would be a great loss."
"Thank you, Dr. Bentz. I have no further questions," Andrew stated, returning to his seat.
With that, Agent Clark got up. Vaughn and Jack both scowled. This was the part Vaughn always wished he could escape. All he ever wanted to do when listening to this man, this man who was fighting for Sydney's death, was walk up to the front of the courtroom and beat him senseless. If anything was painful, it was these parts.
"Dr. Bentz," Agent Clark began. Only two days into the trial, his voice already sent shivers up Vaughn's spine. "Can you please tell me exactly when you were assigned to Agent Bristow?"
"A few weeks ago," Aly answered.
"So you weren't present to observe Agent Bristow's treatments or surgeries or setbacks, correct?"
"I was briefed about that time by her previous-"
"A simple yes or no will do, Dr. Bentz," he interrupted.
Aly sighed. "No, I wasn't."
"Dr. Bentz, can you explain to me why Agent Bristow isn't present for this hearing?" He asked.
Aly clenched her jaw tightly, knowing exactly where this was leading. "Agent Bristow's condition prevents her from being here," she answered simply.
"Would coming jeopardize her health?"
"It could," Aly replied.
"So her health is very fragile right now?"
"Yes."
"How much time would you say she has?"
"Right now, it's a matter of weeks. I couldn't tell you exactly how many."
"More than a month?" Agent Clark asked.
"No, probably not," she replied.
"So isn't it true that by the time this committee makes this decision, should they decide to give her the solution, that her health will be too fragile to endure any side-effects it may cause? Isn't it possible she may not even survive the tests and transportation she'll have to go through?"
"In my medical opinion, she's-"
"Is it possible, Dr. Bentz?" Agent Clark questioned again, cutting her off.
Aly looked over to Vaughn, knowing her next words were going to cut deep. "It's possible."
"No further questions."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Weiss entered the quiet room, shutting the door behind him as slowly and softly as possible. He'd already checked on Sydney several times in the last few hours, but he'd finally decided it would be better just to grab a book and go in and sit with her. That way, he wouldn't have to worry so much. He realized he was finally getting a glimpse of what Vaughn felt like all the time. Now he understood. It was a whole different situation when you were the one responsible for her. He couldn't let anything happen to her now, not when they could be so close to acquiring the one thing that could save her life.
He crept over to the small table by the window and dropped into the plush chair beside it. He opened his book to where the corner of one of the pages was folded over. He settled back in the chair and began to read. After a few pages, he'd gotten back into the story again and had become somewhat oblivious to his surroundings.
"Good book?" He heard suddenly, startling him. He whipped his head around, noticing that Sydney had woken up.
"Hey, you're up," he said, smiling. She smiled back as he set down the book and relocated to the chair beside her bed.
"Everyone at the hearing?" She asked.
"Yeah, they probably won't be back for a few hours yet," Weiss replied. Sydney nodded. "How are you feeling?"
She sighed. "I'm okay. Just pretty low on energy."
"Any pain?" He asked.
"Not really," she replied.
"Good." They lapsed into an easy silence.
"So when do you testify?" Sydney asked after a few moments.
"Day after tomorrow if everything goes as planned," Weiss answered.
"How do you think it's going? Really."
"From what I saw yesterday, I think Andrew's the right person for the job. I can't tell you if he's going to win this for you or not, but I think you've got a fighting chance with him," Weiss told her honestly.
"I don't think Vaughn is so sure. He looked worried when he came back yesterday."
"Well, you know Mike. He's going to be worried even if the other lawyer was a total incompetent," Weiss joked.
"You're right," Sydney agreed, smiling. The smile quickly faded, though, and was replaced by a serious look. "Does he sleep?"
Weiss sighed. "You shouldn't worry, Syd."
"Why not? He worries enough about me, shouldn't I get a turn?" She asked sarcastically.
"We're all here to make sure he's okay," Weiss assured her.
"But you're all too concerned with whether *I'm* okay or not. Someone needs to watch over him too. You know him..... I'm the only one who needs to be sick right now."
"He'll be okay, Syd. I'll make sure of it... I mean, until you're able again." He smiled at her. She smiled back and nodded, appreciating his optimism.
"Thank you." She shifted slightly, gasping audibly when the movement caused shooting pains in her back. "Can you, um, can you-"
"Yeah, of course," Weiss said quickly, reaching over to the morphine pump and upping her dose slightly. Within seconds, her face registered relief, though her eyes remained closed.
"Thanks," she said softly.
"Get some rest. Everyone else should be back in a few hours."
She nodded as she allowed sleep to reclaim her.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Vaughn sat by her bed, realizing that most men woke up in the morning and watched their girlfriends sleep, taking the time to acknowledge how incredibly lucky they were to have someone like that in their life. Though Vaughn acknowledged that luck as well, he mostly spent his time worrying that this would be the time she didn't wake up. Though sleep was sometimes her only escape from the pain now, it was also the thing that would soon carry her into a coma and then away from this life altogether. Unless the solution could save her...could save both of them.
Vaughn was interrupted from his thoughts when he saw Sydney stir in her sleep. He waited patiently for a few seconds and, like he knew they would, her eyes soon fluttered opened. She looked around the room, obviously slightly disoriented. He leaned over her and smiled.
"Hey," he said softly.
But this time her eyes didn't soften the way they normally did. This time her eyes continued to wander the room, growing wide and moving frantically. Before Vaughn could ask what was wrong, she suddenly shot up into a sitting position, wincing at the pain the movement caused. Her breathing sounded fast and the heart monitor began to beep loudly with her increasing heart rate. Her eyes continued to search the room as if completely lost.
"Syd," he said gently, tentatively reaching out to take her hand. As soon as she felt his hand on hers, though, she jerked it away and stared at him in horror.
"Where am I?!" Vaughn felt his chest tighten. The tumor had stolen yet another memory from her, but this time it was much more extreme.
"Syd, it's okay, you're safe," he attempted, trying to sooth her.
"Where the hell am I?!" She asked loudly. Vaughn heard the monitor behind him start to beep dangerously fast. He realized he needed to get her to calm down before she harmed herself. When she turned to look around the room again, he took the opportunity to lean toward her. When she sensed the movement, though, she whipped around and in a flash, her hands were wrapped around his throat. She squeezed just tightly enough for him to get the point. "What the hell is going on?" She asked, her voice still shaking with fear.
"Syd, it's me. It's Vaughn. You're in Malibu. You're okay," he said as calmly as possible, realizing with horror that not only didn't she recognize where she was... she didn't recognize him.
Her face changed suddenly. Her hands dropped from his throat and tears filled her eyes. "Vaughn," she whispered.
"Yeah, it's me," he said softly, cautiously laying a hand on her arm.
"Oh God," she said softly, realization spreading across her face. Suddenly, the floodgates opened and tears began to pour out of her eyes. Vaughn quickly moved to sit on the bed and took her into his arms just as her body began to shake with sobs. She clung to him tightly, holding on as if she'd never let go. Vaughn heard the monitor behind him continue to beep harshly and he realized she wasn't calming down. If anything, she was even worse than before. He could hear her gasping for breath between sobs.
"Syd, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here. Everything's going to be fine," he said into her ear over and over. His voice only seemed to make her cry harder, though. "Sydney, you need to calm down, okay? Just try to take some deep breaths." But she didn't calm, continuing to shake both of them with the force of her cries. Vaughn wasn't even sure if she could hear him, but he knew he needed to do something, and fast.
"Aly!" Vaughn called as loudly as he could, trying to lean away from Sydney so that he didn't scream into her ear. He continued to rub her back soothingly and waited what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only seconds for Aly to come. Finally, the door flew open and Aly entered, a concerned-looking Weiss right behind her. Aly took in the sight before her quickly and moved closer to the bed.
"Is it pain?" She asked. Still holding Sydney securely in his arms, Vaughn shook his head.
"I think she's having a panic attack," Vaughn replied. Aly nodded and quickly ran out of the room. Weiss hovered near the doorway, his face a mask of worry. Vaughn met his eyes in a look heavy with a painful truth. Both men knew things were going downhill quickly. They were running out of time.
Aly returned only seconds later, carrying her medical bag. She set it down on the edge of the bed and fished out a bottle of liquid and a needle. She drew half a syringe of medicine and flicked it to get out any air bubbles. She then moved around so that she could inject the medicine into Sydney's arm. Vaughn helped to hold her arm down so that she didn't move too much, but she didn't even react when the needle penetrated her skin. Vaughn wondered if she felt it at all. Aly quickly removed the needle and Vaughn looked up at her for assurance.
"It's a sedative. Should work quickly," she assured him. Vaughn nodded and focused his attention back on Sydney, who still sobbed in his arms.
"Shhh. It's okay, Syd. Just focus on my voice. Try to breathe with me," he urged her, beginning to rock her slightly to help calm her.
It took a few seconds, but finally the chaotic beeping of the monitor began to slow and her sobs turned to whimpers. Once Vaughn was sure that she was breathing okay, he nodded at Aly. She nodded back and turned to leave, taking Weiss with her when she exited the room. He continued to rock Sydney, closing his eyes and whispering whatever comforting words entered his mind. After a few moments, he stilled.
"Can you take a deep breath for me, Syd?" He asked softly. He heard her breath in, her voice shaking considerably, and let it out in a sigh. He suddenly repeated her actions, releasing a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Good," he whispered. He turned his head, pressing his lips to her cheek before gently laying her down. Her face was flushed from her crying, her eyes still wet. Her eyelids were swollen and beginning to droop from the sedative now in her system. Her breath still shook slightly, but she was breathing almost normally now. "You okay now?" he asked gently.
She nodded slowly. "Tissue," she whispered tiredly. Vaughn reached over to the nightstand and pulled a tissue from the box sitting there. He gently removed her oxygen tube before holding the tissue up to her nose.
"Blow," he instructed. Obviously too tired to argue, she complied. When she was done, he tossed the tissue into the trash next to the nightstand. He looked back to Sydney, who was fighting to stay awake now, and brought his hand to her cheek. His thumb caressed her flawless skin, one of the few things the cancer had not touched. Suddenly, he noticed she was struggling to say something, but he couldn't quite make it out. He leaned down close, his ear right beside her lips.
"You promised," she whispered. He backed away to look at her, trying to figure out what she'd meant. Maybe she still wasn't completely with him, because her statement made no sense to him. But the pleading look in her eyes made him think it was more than that. She must've seen his confusion, because she motioned for him to lean back down. "The beach."
Suddenly, he remembered. He knew what she meant. He remembered that day, like many others along this journey, with complete clarity.
[I]"Promise me something?" She requested softly.
"Of course," he replied.
"Promise me that when I'm too sick to communicate, to remember, that you'll remind me, that you'll tell me about us, about Weiss, even about SD-6. Promise me that you won't let me forget completely."
He nodded slowly. "I promise."[/I]
Vaughn nodded at her, telling her he understood. Though he was sure that her complete loss of memory had been a momentary thing, he knew she needed the assurance. That she wanted to be told over and over, to take every measure to make sure that if she died, it would be with her most precious memories still in tact. And Vaughn was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that was possible.
"We met on October first. I saw them lead you into the briefing room. I couldn't help staring, along with the rest of the office. I'd never seen that color hair before, except maybe on the clowns I'd seen at the circus when I was a kid." She smiled at that, finally allowing her eyes to slip shut. "With that crazy hair and your swollen mouth, I wasn't quite sure what to make of you. And then they called me over, told me to get you something to eat while Weiss supervised you. That's when I saw you up close for the first time. That's when I realized how beautiful you were, despite your appearance at the time. Even that hair couldn't cover your beauty. Nothing could." He stopped then, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He knew she'd already fallen asleep. He couldn't help but realize how true his observation from his story had been. Nothing *could* cover her beauty, not even cancer and all its horrible effects. It could take her energy, her color, her weight, and her memories, but it couldn't take her beauty. It couldn't take the essence of what made her Sydney Bristow. Maybe even death couldn't take that from her.
Vaughn leaned down and kissed her forehead gently before rising from his seat on the edge of the bed, knowing that the sedative would keep her out for at least a few hours. He walked over to the door and looked back briefly at Sydney, relieved to see her sleeping peacefully again, before exiting the room quietly. Once in the living room, he saw Aly and Weiss sitting at the table, talking. They both looked up at him suddenly.
And he knew something was wrong.
"What's going on?" Vaughn asked. They both looked at each other, as if silently debating who were going to break the news to him. "Someone tell me," he begged.
Finally, Aly nodded at Weiss and both turned to look at him. Vaughn focused on his friend, knowing he'd obviously been the one chosen to tell him whatever it was that had them looking so serious.
"Sloane's gone."
To be continued.
A/N: Wow, I feel like I really haven't done a cliffhanger in a while. Sorry to spring one on you guys again, but I don't think it's one of the worst ones really. Anyway, it's 1:20 right now and I have to shower and go to bed so that I can actually make myself get out of bed tomorrow for classes (blah), so this note will have to be short. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please let me know what you thought! Thanks! Hopefully more soon!